INFORMATION
Written by: Pinkpony4
Chapter Word Count: 5'543
Published on FanFiction: 27th of July, 2022
Published on AO3: 27th of July, 2022

Chapter 5: I Thought I'd be Okay

"Thank you for your help, Michael. I think I would've been chopping till eight if you hadn't have helped," Ms. Olivia chortled, even if he knew his answer wasn't the one she had wanted to hear.

"I'm glad I could," he replied, standing awkwardly in the middle of the hallway, not sure when it would be acceptable for him to start moving to his room without seeming rude.

Even though he was much more interested in the floor, he knew Ms. Olivia was staring at him. She sighed, stepping back as she started shutting her door. "Remember, my offer will always be open."

"Thank you. I'll keep it in mind," he mumbled. Michael swallowed down the lump in his throat, feeling stupid. He wasn't a child anymore. Forcing himself to look up, he met her gaze. "I'm sorry if I offended you. I shouldn't have gotten so defensive."

Ms. Olivia shook her head, smiling a little. "I understand. I forget that everyone fights their battles differently. Just focus on making it through the year, okay?"

"I will. Have a good afternoon."

"You too," was all she said before she shut her door. At least their interaction had ended on a slightly lighter note.

Michael retreated to his room. After locking the door behind him, he let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temples as a wave of nausea hit him. While he had sought out the company, spending time with her had made him feel worse. She kept asking him questions that were way too personal for his liking. He knew she meant well, but she pushed far too much. He simply wasn't ready to talk about it yet.

Shaking the thought away, he flipped the switch for the light, turned on the heater, and started wondering what he should do for dinner. Something a little better today compared to last night was in order, even if he didn't feel like eating.

Kicking his shoes off by the door, he dragged himself to the mattress and laid down, bone-deep exhaustion suddenly hitting him. Talking to people had never been such a chore before, and he was honestly feeling worse off.

He rubbed Geh Ge's head with his thumb as he counted the cracks in the cement. Geh Ge had stayed unusually quiet ever since he had woken up. He seemed content to just rest his head against Michael's chest and fiddle with the buttons on his shirt, even if he was drooling.

It felt like he could feel Michael's unease and was doing his best to comfort him. It was a nice thought, even if it probably wasn't true.

He just didn't understand. If she understood his situation, then why did she keep bringing up upsetting topics? She'd asked too many questions about too many things, and he had been overwhelmed. She'd tried to quell the situation, but it had done nothing for him. Eventually she had just told him what he feared she was trying to do.

"I'm not trying to be rude, but I'm just concerned for you. I know how hard it is to be a parent and I want to help you get through this."

Michael didn't look at her. He was confused. Why? What could she possibly get out of this?

"When you get a job, who will take care of Gregory while you are at work? You can't bring him with you. Every employer wants to know about your home life if you imply you have a child. If you imply that there is no one to take care of him, they will reject you. But, I know what you are going through because I went through the same thing when I was younger.

"I didn't trust a soul on this Earth after my little girl was taken from me. I was a mess. If my husband hadn't have been there for me, I don't know where I would be right now. I don't think I would even be here. Michael, I'm not pretending that I know you personally – because I don't – but I understand the weight that you are carrying. It isn't good to bear it alone."

He clenched his jaw but he still couldn't look at her. Instead, he tried to focus on how he was cutting the potatoes. Did she get hunted down by animatronics in the middle of the night? Did she live in a car, constantly afraid that she'd never wake up because something wanted to wear her skin? Did she suffer from nightmares that seemed never-ending? No. She had no idea.

"I don't need help."

"Of course you don't. Not forever. But for now, you do. I know you don't trust me, but I want us to get to know each other. I want to help you take care of Gregory – at least until you are stable enough."

Michael finally turned around, setting the knife down. "Why?"

"Everyone knows what happened to your family. I know this is a touchy subject, but be honest with me: can you do this on your own?"

Michael couldn't, but he didn't want to admit it, least of all to her. He'd been doing fine on his own since he was twenty – he would be fine on his own in his fifties.

But it wasn't true. He felt trapped.

He rolled onto his side, hugging Geh Ge closer as his eyes began to sting and his throat started to burn. His bub made a confused noise, but he didn't respond. Instead, he hid his face in one arm and let himself cry. He'd feel better if he just let it all out.

-o0o-

After an hour of drifting in and out of consciousness through his tears, Michael was in the bathroom, washing his face. The cold water gave his swollen, red eyes some relief and the water he chugged down from his bottle soothed his raw throat. Drying his face, he turned around and stumbled into their room where Geh Ge was still lying on his back, rolling on the pillow and trying to shove his whole fist into his mouth as a form of entertainment.

Crouching down, Michael gently pulled his bub's arm away and found the rattle for him to play with instead. Geh Ge happily took it, weakly waving it around and giggling as the tiny, rainbow balls hit the scratched plastic casing. Michael was able to soothe himself just by watching Geh Ge have fun, but it was temporary. When his bub eventually fell asleep, his fears would start rearing their ugly heads.

It was half-past three, which meant he had a lot of time to kill. He was tired enough to sleep right then and there, but he needed to get into a good sleeping schedule and stay awake long enough to give Geh Ge all of the attention he deserved.

He fiddled with his sleeve before he forced himself to stomp around for what he needed. Michael couldn't hide forever. He had to act, and the sooner he did, the better.

Flipping to the back of his old notebook, he jotted down some information. He didn't like taking phone calls that much, so writing his thoughts down helped him prepare so he didn't blank halfway through. If he wanted to get a job, he couldn't wait until the New Year to start looking. He had to start now.

Making sure that the businesses were all actually open and not close to closing time, he called them one at a time.

One was for a local laundromat. All it would involve was guarding the place during the day to make sure nothing was stolen or broken since that had been a problem for some time. It was full-time.

The second was for an older restaurant looking for a dishwasher. Michael was good at cleaning, and it was a therapeutic practice for him, but the hours would be long and unpredictable. It was part-time.

The last one was looking for a new cashier at a gas station out of town. It was also part-time.

His hands were shaking the entire time as he talked to the person on the other end. Despite his nerves being shot, he managed to get through the calls without stuttering or making too many 'uh' or 'um' noises. In the end, only the gas station and laundromat were interested. The interviews were to be held on the fifth and seventh of January, respectively.

He just hoped none of them had taken too much notice of the giggling baby in the background. Michael turned to said baby and smiled at him when they made eye contact.

"Do you think I did a good job?" he asked. Geh Ge only cooed, pointing the rattle at him. He suddenly had an idea.

He rolled over and hovered over Geh Ge, gently holding his feet with two fingers each. "I better start training you, shouldn't I? And the new can start playing games too! How about peekaboo?"

Geh Ge squealed, wriggling around as Michael moved his legs. Starting with his feet, he gently pressed his thumb into the soul of his foot, making it bend instinctively. Geh Ge tried wiggling his toes and rolling his ankles, but it was barely noticeable. Then Michael started with his knees, bending them gently at every angle before moving them in a walking motion. Eventually, Geh Ge stopped laughing and only watched him, curious about what exactly they were doing. He felt some slight resistance as he tried tugging his legs out of Michael's hold, so he let go and did the same with his arms.

They did this for a while, with Michael holding out his pinkie after working on Geh Ge's arms to see if he could reach up and grab it a little faster. He didn't, but that was fine.

Eventually, he picked his bub up and hugged him, holding the back of his head and gently bouncing him as he walked around the room. There wasn't much to do, and while the phone call had settled some of his nerves about finding a job, there still wasn't any guarantee he would either one. Not to mention that it was Christmas Eve tomorrow, and he was a little worried about what that would entail.

He didn't intend on celebrating the holiday – it had no meaning to him now that he had no family left – but now that he had Geh Ge, he felt like he should do something. Maybe take him to that carol event? No. Michael didn't like Christmas carols that much anymore, especially when he heard the one about the boy that had no one to celebrate the day with. It always made him feel awful. The noise would probably scare his bub, too.

Would the others here celebrate it together, or would they just stick to their rooms? As far as he knew, they weren't going anywhere. Maybe he could talk to them? No, no. That was out of the question. He was pretty sure it would be weird to try and spend the day with a complete stranger.

Michael huffed, checking the clock. He could always get ready for bed. The sooner the day ended the better in his opinion. He may as well catch up on as much sleep as he could, sleep schedule be damned.

He shuffled around the kitchen, looking through what he had. Michael was not used to the food he had bought. He was used to mash potatoes that you actually had to chop, boil, mash, and mix with milk and butter, but he didn't have those luxuries right now, so he was left with a weird packet of white powder that turned into 'mashed potatoes' when mixed with water and shoved in a microwave. The idea made him turn his nose up initially, but he couldn't be picky. It was a similar situation with the vegetables too. Never in his younger years would he think he would be having funny-smelling, soggy peas, corn, and carrot from a can with powder potatoes and jerky, for dinner, but here he was.

It was rather humbling.

While he waited for the powder to magically transform, he stepped into the bathroom and started filling the sink with warm water to start washing Geh Ge.

Slipping Geh Ge out of his clothes and nappy, he slowly sat his bub down in the water, making him let out a surprised squeak.

"Sorry bub, but you need a bath," he cooed, kissing his forehead.

Geh Ge quickly perked up and was happier than last night's bath. He was babbling nonsense and was wriggling around more, smacking the water and getting Michael's front wet. He was forced to bend over awkwardly with one hand holding Geh Ge's head up and the other trying not to knock off the soap when his bub accidentally sloshed water over the sink. Michael sighed. "Bub, be a little more gentle."

Geh Ge only laughed at him, continuing to cause a mess.

It took him ten minutes to get him clean without getting soap in his bub's eyes, and Geh Ge seemed determined to make the evening difficult. Drying him off and managing to get him in a new nappy and clothes (he'd need to do the washing in the morning), he rushed off to grab the rattle that had been left on the mattress and handed it to Geh Ge to keep his excitable bub entertained while Michael had his own shower.

Placing Geh Ge down on the laundry basket, he jumped in the shower and rinsed off. He didn't spend as long as before, but he made sure to wash over the damage caused by his escape. Luckily, everything was nearly completely healed.

Once he was done, dried, and dressed, he picked his bub back up, who was now trying to stick the too-large rattle into his mouth. While it was too big, Michael was paranoid about it getting stuck, so he gently brushed his bub's hand away. Geh Ge wined, shooting him a look as they made their way to the kitchen.

Michael took the 'mashed potato' from the microwave and scooped it onto his plate (and tried not to gag – it was practically slush). He turned the radio on for some background noise while he waited for his meal to heat up. Once it was done, he sat back down on the mattress, placed Geh Ge back onto his pillow, and started to eat. It was hard not to gag, but he managed.

He went back to his train of thought on the holidays. There were other options. Maybe he could see his friend. He knew he was always happy to have company, and they hadn't talked in a while. He'd love to spend the day with him instead of sulking in his room or awkwardly standing in a corner while everyone else hung out. And he was admittedly excited about the idea of him seeing Geh Ge. Out of everyone he knew, his friend was the only one he would trust his bub with. And he was sure he would understand if Michael told him the truth. They shared many secrets. For Michael, a lot of them were illegal ones, but his friend hadn't told a soul.

With that thought in mind, he managed to get his food down and rinsed the plate off before turning the radio down and grabbing his phone again, dialling up the only number he knew off by heart. He sat back down and smiled at Geh Ge as his bub filled the room with giggles and coos.

After the third rumble, his friend picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

Michael hadn't realised he had been holding his breath. "Hey, Jeremy. It's me, Michael."

-o0o-

The two of them did nothing but talk for the next two hours. They talked about a lot of things – things Michael was already starting to forget, but it was fun nonetheless.

Jeremy seemed to be doing well, although he was very lonely. The doctor that occasionally had him visit every two years had decided that Jeremy was still capable of living by himself, although driving, stairs, work, and cooking complex meals were still off the table. Ever since the bite, he'd been living off of what the government would give him, along with what Fazbear Entertainment had to pay. The company had been forced to pay for all of Jeremy's medical bills, including the cost of his transportation and medication until the day he died.

"I heard they've opened up a new location; one in between me and you," Jeremy said, and Michael sighed. One way or another, that place always seemed to come up. "Why would they build one out of town?"

"I don't know," he admitted. It didn't make sense from a business standpoint. It was a stupid move. Not many customers would stop by unless they were hungry, and if you didn't even have animatronics there, then what was the point? Before he could add anything else though, Jeremy changed the topic.

"But let's not think about that. I just remembered what I wanted to ask you about."

"What is it?"

"Do you have any plans for tomorrow?" Jeremy asked.

"No, no plans at all. Why, do you want me to come over?"

"Yes, if that's alright with you," Jeremy responded, a tinge of hope in his voice. "But, I wanted to visit you," he added. "I want to see what your place looks like!"

Michael's face started to heat up. "It's not very good-looking. Besides, you can't drive."

"I can hire a taxi."

"Jeremy–"

"No! You just got there. I'm not dragging you back to Hurricane after you just started settling down. I could use a change in scenery anyway."

"I… alright. Thank you, Jerry."

Jeremy cheered on the other end, making Michael wince at the shrill sound. "I can't wait! Maybe we could do something together. Is there anything going on there?"

"I'm sure we can find something. There's a carol thing being held at the local school's oval, but I don't think it'd be a good idea with your hearing. We can find something else to do," he reassured before he suddenly remembered who was sitting beside him. "Although, I should warn you: I have–"

Before he could finish, Geh Ge squealed impatiently. Michael snapped his head around to see his bub kicking his legs and smacking the rattle on the pillow, looking at him with a frown, with his non-existent brows furrowed. He whined, reaching for him. Quickly, Michael tucked his phone between his ear and shoulder and scooped Geh Ge up, shushing him as he gave his bub the attention he demanded.

"What was that? Are you babysitting?" Jeremy asked. Michael's heart started beating a little faster.

"Uh, no. This is what I was just about to tell you. Please, don't freak out… but I have a son," he admitted. He wouldn't deny that he was both excited and anxious about Jeremy's reaction. The silence that followed as his friend tried to process what he had just said was deafening.

"What."

"Well, I–"

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAD A WIFE! Why wasn't I invited to the wedding?" Jeremy cried, sounding genuinely upset.

Michael's face heated up in embarrassment. "NO! No, I don't have a wife – never even been in a relationship or a fling or anything! You haven't missed out," he rushed to explain.

"Clearly I have. Children don't just fall out of the sky!"

"He's adopted."

"Oh."

What felt like awkward silence to Michael, was excited silence to Jeremy. "I can't believe it," he whispered. "Michael: a dad! I remember you used to go on and on about how you didn't want kids every time your grandpa would pester you about it. What's his name? How old is he? I want to see him!" he rushed out.

He let out an embarrassed laugh, bouncing his bub as Geh Ge decided to drop the rattle to instead stick his fingers in his mouth. Cooing, he started pulling at one of the buttons on Michael's shirt with his free hand. "His name's Gregory and he's two months old. I think, at least," he added. Truthfully, he had been guessing this entire time. "You'll see him, don't worry."

Jeremy clapped in excitement. "Now I just can't wait! What time do you want me there?"

Michael pondered the question, looking around the room. "Whatever time's good for you. I'm not going anywhere. But I don't have a spare bed for you to sleep in or anything, so you may want to keep that in mind."

"Don't worry about it! I can get a room or something. I'll tell you when I get there."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow. Be safe."

"I will."

It took a few goodbyes before Jeremy finally hung up, and Michael sat back, letting out a sigh of relief. That went better than he had expected. He was admittedly excited for tomorrow, especially for Jeremy to meet Geh Ge. He hoped they'd get along and that Geh Ge wouldn't be too… upset about Jeremy's appearance.

He was a little scary at first, but he still had a heart of gold.

Putting his phone away, he got up to feed Geh Ge, who had started to become increasingly irritated if the way he was hitting Michael was any indication.

"No," he said in a warning tone, raising his pointer finger up and tapping his bub's nose. "No hitting."

Geh Ge didn't listen. Face growing red, he started to cry smacking his tiny fists against his chest. "RuuuaaaAAH!"

Startled at the sudden change, he started bouncing his bub, shushing him. "Shhh shhh. It's okay, Grumpy Bum; I'm getting your bottle," he chuckled, gently placing his hand on Geh Ge's head and letting him lean on his shoulder. Michael would be surprised if he didn't lose his hearing with how shrill Geh Ge's crying was.

"See here," he reassured, leaning back and shaking the bottle. Geh Ge didn't pay attention and continued to cry, kick, and hit, eyes screwed shut. He sighed, not sure how to quiet him down. Sitting on the floor, he put the bottle down so he could cradle his bub, rocking him gently as he rubbed his thumb over his cheek.

"Come on, Geh Ge, I've got your bottle. Just open your eyes," he tried, picking the bottle back up and resting his bub's head back on his chest for support. "Come on bub, it's okay," he soothed, holding the nub to his mouth.

After a few seconds, Geh Ge opened his eyes briefly enough to see the bottle and immediately latched on, calming down as he drank. Michael shook his head, chuckling.

"There you go, bub."

-o0o-

Michael yawned as he lazily shook the recently cleaned bottle once again, Geh Ge gnawing his hands. He was exhausted.

While he had had an early night, Geh Ge wasn't content with going back to sleep. He'd needed to have his nappy changed, which wasn't a problem, but afterwards – maybe around three in the morning – his bub had decided to spend the rest of the night weakly kicking at his face and pulling his hair. Normally, it wouldn't be a problem since Geh Ge wasn't big, but it was draining.

He understood why children were kept in cots now.

Said baby, on the other hand, was wide awake and babbling away, completely unaware of his guardian's exhaustion.

After being woken up for the fifth time that morning, Michael decided to just get up, empty the trash, and throw the laundry in the washing machine. He had his tablets, some breakfast, and remembered to use a nicotine patch. After reading the instructions he stuck it to his shoulder, hiding it under his clothes.

It was eight in the morning and he had been up since five. Not too bad to most, but to a parent, it was a nightmare. At least he didn't have to work.

He fed Geh Ge as he dragged his feet around the room, trying to think of what to do. He could have another sleep, but the question was if his bub was going to let that happen. Another thing was the strange effects of the patch.

A barely noticeable tingling feeling had started in his hands that he recognised. It was freaky to think about just how much of an effect smoking had on him when he wasn't physically using a cigarette. It made him reflect on just how much he relied on the habit.

But he'd get better.

He could chew some gum to keep himself awake, but that wasn't going to fly either. He was trying to break his habits, not indulge in them. Chewing gum wasn't really the problem: it was a choking hazard, and he didn't want to risk falling asleep with some in his mouth.

Geh Ge finished his bottle and Michael burped him as he washed it out. The radio was playing the last minute of Journey's 'Don't Stop Believin'', making him hum along, tapping his foot.

Okay, maybe the morning wouldn't be that bad. He could keep reading that guidebook, or he could read a story to Geh Ge, even if he didn't understand a word.

Sitting down on the mattress, he made a decision. That guidebook was outdated, but it referenced some interesting studies that had been done on how babies developed under stressful environments. Pulling out his phone he looked up one of the studies briefly summarised in the book: The Effect of Emotional Deprivation and Neglect on Babies. A YouTube video appeared, showing it was a short film from 1965 that had been subtitled in English. Curious, he began to watch it.

He instantly regretted it a minute in and by the end, he was hugging Geh Ge closely, who had been watching the other babies in the video curiously. It was only six minutes, but it hurt to see the tense, fearful way the last four babies would look around and eye the other adults in the room, not at all interested in play.

From there he fell into a rabbit hole, finding all sorts of miniature experiments and observations. The 'Still Face' experiment, in particular, hit too close to home. Seeing the little girl cry and reach out to try and get a reaction from her mother distressed him. He knew how she felt.

Father wouldn't look at him.

Ever since Evan's funeral, his father hadn't looked at him.

He hadn't noticed it at first. He had spent most of his days in his room doing nothing but crying and drifting in and out of consciousness. He couldn't sleep, eat, or think. He was plagued by nightmares that seemed to never end until his clock would wake him up. In an effort to try and get them out of his head, he sketched out the large, black bear, with red eyes and a yellow bowtie.

It didn't help.

At the end of the first week, he gathered the courage to step out of his room and eat. His father was sitting at the table that only had two chairs left. He didn't even acknowledge his existence.

"Da– Father?" he whispered, almost too scared to talk.

If he had heard him, he didn't respond.

Father ignored him.

For months, there was no response. Even when he would wake up screaming, his father wouldn't check. The silence was unbearable. Michael almost wished his father would scream or hit him because at least it was a reaction. It was attention.

Eventually, he did something stupid. Again. He wasn't thinking right – he hadn't been for some time. Everyone hated him. The kids at school called him a murderer. "IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU!" His grandma had screamed at him. No one defended him. He had no one to run to for help.

The only ones he could find solace in were Jeremy and Charlie, but he refused to burden them. Especially Charlie. She was smart, but too young to be worrying about him. No matter how many times she asked for him to talk, he didn't. He wouldn't tell her because it was pathetic. Who relied on a seven-year-old girl for emotional support?

Uncle Henry ignored him too. He was indifferent to Michael's suffering, only showing some semblance of care when Charlie would cry for his help.

He couldn't take it anymore. Why wouldn't Father look at him?

It was quiet. He had his knees drawn up to his chest and was hugging his legs. The world was blurry, from his tears or from his exhaustion, he didn't know. Father had come home some time ago, but Michael hadn't moved. He stayed inside.

Eventually, he could hear his father moving around, but not the way he usually did when he was getting ready for bed. And that's when he heard it.

"Michael?"

His father said his name. He tried to sit up, but he was too tired.

"Michael…?"

The footsteps were getting louder. His father almost sounded worried. Maybe it was his imagination. His father didn't love him anymore.

The door to Evan's room was opened. Michael was hiding in the closet – hiding from the Foxy mask that he had thrown against the closet doors that was now staring at him.

His father paused in front of the doors. One of the knobs jiggled.

"D– da– d?"

He could have sworn he heard his father scream. Not one out of rage or sadness, but of fear. How odd. Dad wasn't scared of anything… right?

"EuuaAaaaAAHH!"

Geh Ge's wail suddenly snapped him out of his memories. He looked around, alarmed and confused.

When did he get in the bathroom?

He took a few, deep breaths, trying to figure out what was going on. Trying to keep himself calm, he looked around. He was in the shower but the water wasn't running. Somehow, he had tucked himself into the corner with the door closed. Geh Ge was in his arms, still being held tightly. Too tightly.

Gasping, he loosened his grip immediately and lowered his bub into his lap.

The world was spinning so badly that he felt like he was going to throw up. He needed water.

Water.

Slowly, he stood up, holding Geh Ge gently. His bub was still crying, but for what reason, he didn't know. Had he hurt him? If he had…

Stumbling to the kitchen, he reached the fridge and guzzled down half a bottle of water, forcing himself to stop and breathe. He was just going to make himself sick.

"Slow down," he told himself, over and over, forcing himself to breathe until the spots in his vision died away and he could think.

God. It had been a long time since he'd had a memory hit him that bad. Rubbing his face, he looked down at Geh Ge. His crying had died down, but he was still distressed. What had he done while he was out?

"I'm sorry," he choked out, pressing a kiss to Geh Ge's forehead. His phone was still on, playing video after video, but it was drowned out by 'Daydream Believer' on the radio. Slowly, he turned around and picked his phone up from where it had been thrown. Luckily, it had fallen on his pillow, so it was fine. He closed the video and was about to turn the phone off when it buzzed.

Jeremy – 8:59am
I think I'm here. It looks like a paper bag. You still have the purple car?

With shaking hands, he replied:

If it looks like that, then you're in the right place. I'll come get you. Give me a second.

It wasn't his most articulate response, but he needed to get himself together.

Making his way back into the bathroom, he splashed some water over his face in an effort to cool himself down. He looked like a complete wreck. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair was a mess, his face was pale, and his pupils were nearly pinpricks. He groaned, running a hand through his hair to try and make himself look presentable, even though a shower was the only thing that was going to save him.

But… to Hell with it! He couldn't be bothered.

Michael slipped his shoes back on without bothering with socks and made sure Geh Ge was alright. He had stopped crying so that he could stare at him with bright eyes.

"I'm really sorry, bub," he whispered as he locked the door behind them. He was careful with the stairs, still not feeling like himself with how badly his legs were shaking. He could hear the sisters moving around, but no sound came from anywhere else.

He was surprised when he reached the bottom floor.

The place had been cleaned out overnight, with two couches he hadn't even noticed before pushed to the side of the room with a few plastic tables in front of it. In between the couches was a fake, undecorated tree.

"What the Hell happened to you, Mike?"

He snapped his gaze to the front door and spotted his old friend, staring at him through his one good eye in shock.

TO BE CONTINUED…