A/N: K rated, written for Sherlollicon 2020 flash fic fest with the prompts: Molly & Anderson in John's flat, Joke. Enjoy!
"John is going to kill us," Phillip hissed, looking nervously over his shoulder. "You know how he hates surprises!"
"No," Molly contradicted him even as she searched hurriedly through John's sock drawer. "It's Sherlock who hates surprises. It's just that John is more likely to shoot us if he catches us here."
"That's even more reason for us to leave!" Phillip was definitely sweating, rubbing his hands on his courdoroys and twitching at the slightest noise."This is no joke, Molly!"
"Oh relax, he and Sherlock won't be back in London for ages," Molly scoffed, rooting around more insistently. "Got it!" She held up the key in triumph. "I knew he'd hide it somewhere obvious!"
"Good, we got it, can we just go now?" Philip looked far from relieved; if anything, he appeared to be even more nervous. Agitated, even.
Molly shook her head and let out a small sigh of disappointment. "This was your idea, Philip; if I'd known you were going to be such a nervous Nelly I'd have left you outside to stand watch!"
"Can we just-" he made shooing motions toward the door.
Molly decided to stop teasing him and nodded. As they headed out of John's bedroom, however, they were startled by the sound of the front door opening. "Crap!" Molly muttered, while Philip said something quite a bit earthier. "Quick, in here!"
Thus it was that they found themselves accidentally locked in John's linen closet, listening as he moved around the flat, settling Rosie in for the night, eating a late supper, and ultimately tromping down the hall to his bedroom - where they immediately heard him come to a stop and Molly groaned inwardly, remembering that she'd left the damn drawer open.
They held their collective breaths, hoping against hope...but no. The sound of John stealthily opening his dresser drawer after spending some time checking his bedroom dashed all hopes.
He'd got his damned gun out and a John in Protective Dad Mode was definitely NOT what either of them wanted to face.
Just as they heard him start to open the door to their hiding place, however, they were relieved to hear the front door being flung open. "John!" Sherlock bellowed. "Wait! It's safe, they're gone!"
John's grumbling voice faded away, and Molly and Philip sagged together in relief as they heard Sherlock presumably explaining away the opened sock drawer. Moments later, however, the door was yanked open and, as Philip later rather dramatically related, waited to be murdered by the man whose surprise party they were supposed to be planning.
Luckily for them both, it was only Sherlock. "For God's sake," he hissed, "Get the hell out of here, you two, before John gets back! Amateurs," he added under his breath - but not before kissing Molly and swatting her on the bum as she and Philip beelined for the front door.