~Chapter 21~
Elsa
3 Years Later
Arendelle had been quiet these past years. The kingdom had citizens leave, but with the ebb and flow of life, new people moved here as well. A constant cycle of change. Niklas was less nervous about his leadership than he was his first year. He grew brilliantly into the role, which I knew he would. Hans was now back in the Southern Isles with Aria who would be leader over all the Isles, but only once she turned eighteen. Refusing to be a reagent, Hans talked the council into another. Lord Myles Nilsen who was formerly the chief magistrate. He was a respectable man who Hans got to know well as he was stuck in Arendelle while the fjord was unsafe to travel back then. The fjord was better now, but I walked along the shores of fjord many times since. There was still much unrest and storms frequented our harbor. Raevich was still out there trying to be free and so long as he was a threat, my family wouldn't be safe. I had lost much sleep over that and the fact he had influenced my sister. A month after she and Kristoff disappeared, a captain of a ship had a private audience with us. Kristoff had sent him to deliver a message. He confirmed that they were alive and in the Southern Isles. In the early months of my pregnancy, I was barely in Arendelle as I spent most of that time searching for my sister and Kristoff to bring them home. Three years since then and there is still a hole in my heart.
I couldn't believe our babies were turning three tomorrow. Parenthood was a new chapter for Niklas and I, but we took on the challenges when they came head on. Alexander James and Lillian Mae were born ten minutes apart in the summertime. The day after they were born, I summoned Pabbie to look them over wondering if they were born with power. It was a fifty-fifty shot given only I had power and Niklas didn't. Though it was the same odds with my parents and Anna and I both were born with powers, so I just wanted Pabbie to confirm. He didn't sense anything, but maybe it was too soon. Their birth was a trauma nearly costing me everything, but they were worth it. Lily and Alex loved Christmas time, so this year especially for their third birthday I went for the theme of Christmas in July. Olaf went with Niklas to pick out the best tree to decorate and put in the main hall. Gerda and Brigitta pinned up colorful banners around each main archway in the palace as I went around frosting the place up. To get the kids away from the palace just for the past few hours to decorate in secret, Kai took them for a ride on Sven around the kingdom, which they always loved. Birthday gifts were placed in piles by where I imagined the tree would be placed. Food was being made in the kitchen for guests tomorrow. All was ready, but I couldn't ever be as excited as I should be. Two people were missing for yet another milestone. Anna and Kristoff.
With the decorations set, all I had to do was wait for Kai to return with the kids. Olaf burst through the double doors of the palace clapping excitedly.
"Elsa, we found the best tree for early Christmas!" Olaf cheered.
Niklas came in behind him dragging the tree behind getting pine needles everywhere.
"It's a twelve-footer," Niklas said, putting it down, "We might need a saw so it doesn't hit the ceiling."
I walked over to my husband throwing my arms around his neck.
"I'm glad you're back."
"It's good to be back," He grinned before pressing his lips gently to mine.
I pulled back spinning around excitedly.
"Alright, time to decorate. I wanna be finished by the time the kids get back." I said.
Fixing an icicle to use like a needle, I moved several strings of lights around the tree once Niklas placed it in the stand. We all started doing the finishing touches with ornaments. Olaf got the bottom half covered quickly as those were the only areas he could reach. Though I didn't need a ladder to reach the middle or top, I froze small ice block steps to reach anywhere else I needed to.
"It's too bad they will see this all before their actual birthday. I wish I could hide it until tomorrow." I muttered.
Niklas watched me curiously and grabbed my hand.
"Well, maybe we can, Elsa."
"I don't see how." I shrugged.
"We'll go outside keeping out eyes out for Kai and have the kids close their eyes and we can keep them away from the main hall."
"You wanna try keeping three-year-olds from curiously exploring?" I smirked, "It's in their nature."
"I'm willing to try if you are, it's worth it for a minor headache to make them happy."
I quickly instructed Brigitta and Gerda to put up blankets and cover things as best as they could to hide the decor. It was nearly dinnertime when Kai said he'd be back with the kids and we were nearly there. Niklas and I joined with Olaf went outside and stood on the front steps until they returned. There was a slight chill in the air even for summer, it was strange. Though in less than a half hour, I saw Sven racing down the hill toward the palace. Kai sat in back while Lily and Alex sat just in front of him. They waved wildly at us as Olaf ran toward them as Sven narrowly missed bowling him over. Coming to a sudden halt, Kai got off Sven's back first and helped Lily and Alex down.
"Mama!" Lilly yelled, running straight to my arms.
I scooped her up swinging her around in my arms as Lily giggled as I tickled her. Niklas had Kai get Sven back to the stables and give him a barrel of carrots to feast on. Sven missed Kristoff terribly and it was all we could do to distract him. The kids went on rides at least a few times a week. Alex held onto Niklas's hand as he practically ran inside pulling him along. Though just as planned we had them close their eyes as we passed through the main hall and got them to the library. The library had comfy seating and Brigitta surprised us by building a blanket fort while we were outside. Dinner was brought to us on trays to the library as we played various games the rest of the evening. Olaf loved playing tag with them, though he almost always lost because he couldn't outrun a pair of three-year-olds. It was a great activity to get their energy out. A couple of hours flew by and they both passed out tired. Niklas and I each carried one of them to their rooms. Just down the hall from our master. Every bedtime it was the same. Niklas and I kissed them and told them we loved them. Even if they were already asleep and weren't listening, we always spoke those words over them. My body was sore feeling the impact from all the prepping today. I couldn't hold back a yawn practically collapsing in bed after I got changed for the night. Niklas pulled me close to him as he held me.
"How do we already have a pair of three-year-olds?"
"Time keeps ticking away, doesn't it?" I replied.
"Lily is practically your 'mini me', He laughed,
"Blonde hair and blue eyes are attractive features," I winked.
"Though Alex at least has my eyes," He added, "They're perfect, just like their mom."
I turned my head toward him tilting up to meet his gaze as I kissed him. Moments like these were perfect and I wanted to feel this happiness and joy, but often it was brought down by worry over my sister. It wasn't long before I fell asleep in my husband's arms where I always felt so safe.
Niklas and I woke early the next morning to put the finishing touches on anything for the kids' party. Guests wouldn't arrive until the afternoon, but we had a plan for the morning just the four of us. Since Anna couldn't be here with us today, I thought of something I wanted to do for the kids that I did for Anna a few birthdays ago. Niklas and I strewn a red string throughout the palace leading to a few special gifts. The first would be an outfit for their birthday waiting right outside their bedroom door. Only a few gifts were put on the string because I didn't want to tire them out before the main party later. The next gift would lead to a coloring station and finally end with a picnic basket that I had packed. Niklas and I waited in the hall to greet them. They were usually up before sun up, but they both must have been tired as it was nearing eight. Lily was the first to open her door rubbing her eyes as she came into the hall wearing her silk pajamas. Niklas scooped her up swinging her around playfully as she giggled.
"Happy Birthday, Lillian." I greeted.
Niklas put her down as she ran to me grabbing a firm hold of my leg.
"Thank you, mama," She said, politely.
I knelt down to her level kissing her forehead as Niklas took her hand.
"Shall we go wake your brother?"
Lily nodded excitedly as she ran ahead of us to Alex's room bursting inside and jumping on his bed.
"It's our birthday!" She squealed.
Once he awoke, Alex joined in the merriment and took his sisters' hands in his as they both jumped together. Niklas and I watched happily from the doorway. Niklas explained the red string was inspired by another family member's birthday. We spoke to them about Anna and Kristoff as often as possible. They would not be strangers to my children.
Niklas helped Alex into his short sleeve shirt and pants that were red and black while I got Lily into an emerald sun dress. It was summer, but I was determined to maintain that Christmas-time feel. It was too warm to freeze over a private snow area unless we took them to the north mountain, which they were much too young for such an adventure. Though I know they'd enjoy what I had planned. I wanted this day to be perfect for them. Once dressed, the four of us walked down the hall holding hands and upon seeing all the decorations, Alex stared at everything in amazement. Lily tugged on my sleeve looking concerned, her eyes full of tears.
"Mama, did we miss it?" She sniffled.
"Miss what, sweetie?"
"Our birthday, if it's Christmas. We missed it."
She started crying as Niklas quickly scooped her up as she clung onto her father.
"It's still your birthday, Lilly. Mama just brought Christmas to it, for fun." Niklas explained.
"Yeah Lily," Alex chimed in, "Mama and papa wouldn't let us miss it."
Lily perked right up as I rubbed her back. Niklas let her down as she and Alex continued following the red string just ahead of us. My heart rate was up spun out of control on the opinion of my three year old daughter.
"Well, this is a smashingly good start to their day," I groaned.
Niklas laughed pressing his lips to my forehead as we quickly followed after the kids downstairs. It felt like it was December in the main hall and I think it looked better than it did even yesterday. The staff had really outdone themselves. The string stopped at a table set up in the main hall for coloring, which had the kids occupied for over an hour. I didn't want to rush them, but we had a loose schedule to keep given guests would arrive within a few hours. Lily colored three whole pages while Alex focused on one, but he blended more color uses on his page. Olaf even joined them laughing with them as they stuck crayons where his carrot nose should be. After urging them to continue following the red string, it took them all the way outside in the already scorching sun where a carriage was decked out in colors of red and green hitched to Sven. I gave Alex and Lily each a carrot to feed Sven before we took off hopping in the carriage with a picnic basket in tow for lunch. Alex sat in my lap as Lily sat in her dad's as Sven took off running. We didn't get far before I heard Olaf yelling behind us.
"Wait up guys, I have little legs!" Olaf shouted.
Niklas pulled back on the reins for Sven to slow as Olaf hopped in the carriage.
"I was helping Gerda with a few finishing touches before I realized you all left without me."
"Sorry Olaf," I said, sheepishly, "We had to go to give enough time to get back after the ride."
"So long as you didn't forget me," He nodded.
"We couldn't ever forget," Alex chimed in.
"We love you, Olaf!" Lily said, throwing her arms around him.
Olaf clapped excitedly.
"Oh, I love warm hugs!" He laughed.
"We know," We all chimed together before erupting in laughter.
"Onward Sven," Niklas called out as Sven took off in a sprint.
Even I didn't know where we were going, I thought of the carriage ride while Niklas kept the location a surprise for even me. The fjord was beautiful even though it still had stormy qualities to the surface of the water. Ships had trouble crossing the fjord we found from correspondence from our trade partners. Aria was coming with Hans for the twins birthday and I was concerned for their safety along with Aunt Isidora, Royan, and Aksel coming too. It was a tremendous risk journeying across the fjord for almost four years now. It wasn't a mystery as to why. Raevich. Anna was trying to find him and release him, which is why she so carefully evaded me finding her. Though given her changed behavior, she probably didn't care what she was missing otherwise being preoccupied. My parents couldn't be here either and that left an emptiness in my heart not just for today, but every day. My children would grow up never knowing their grandparents on their mother or father's side. Niklas suddenly poked me in the arm snapping my attention toward him.
"You okay?" He asked, searching my eyes.
"Yeah," I nodded, with a weak smile, "Sorry, just thinking about my sister."
"I wish she could be here too and Kristoff."
"I'll try and be stronger to not show this weight." I nodded, "The kids will pick up on it."
"Even if they do, they should be proud of their mother no longer concealing her emotions."
I leaned my head against his shoulder.
"I know, but even so, there is a time and place and this day is hardly that moment."
After going several miles up the shores of the fjord, Niklas pulled Sven to a stop as we all got out on a private cove north of Arendelle. Lily didn't even wait five minutes before hopping out of the carriage and getting her dress knee-deep in sand. Alex joined her though not before carefully rolling up his pants. Olaf started to dig near them to bring water from the fjord to wet the sand for building. By the time we ate our picnic lunch, the kids and Olaf had made a unique creation of a sandcastle. It was lumpy and lopsided and I thought it belonged in museum because my three-year-olds made it. I blasted a thick dome of ice around it to protect it, though given the summer heat, the ice wouldn't last that long. The four of us ate our fill from the picnic basket I had packed. Alex burped a couple times, so I knew he was content.
"Excuse you, Alex," Lily said, covering her mouth.
"Sorry," He smirked.
"Very polite, Lily," Niklas nodded.
"Mama, can we go in the water? It's so hot." Lily said, wiping her forehead.
I glanced at Niklas biting my lip. This was their birthday and I didn't want to disappoint them.
"Sweetie," I said, pulling her close, "You know you don't know how to swim yet. Come closer to me and I can help keep you cooler."
"I wish I had powers like you, mama."
I could feel Niklas's gaze without even looking at him as I smiled at my daughter.
"Maybe you will someday,"
"When?"
"I don't know." I snapped, balling my hands into fists.
My heart was racing by now surprised by the peppering of questions from my three year old.
"Let's go swimming," Niklas offered.
The kid's faces lit up brightly clapping excitedly as I stared at him blankly getting close to his ear so the kids wouldn't hear.
"This wasn't part of the plan," I insisted.
"I'm improvising." He replied,
We weren't exactly prepared with towels or anything, but I let Niklas lead this. If anything went sideways, I could blast a platform of ice from under them and get them out of the water in a second. Niklas took them both by the hand getting them knee deep in the water explaining the basics of swimming. Small waves moved in from the fjord pushing onto the shore, but weren't big or dangerous. Though any unfamiliar sound the water made, I focused intensely on it. The kids listened attentively to their father as Olaf and I watched from the shore. Olaf tugged at my dress before grabbing my hand.
"Elsa, are you okay?" He asked.
"Yeah Olaf, why do you ask?"
"You seem sad," He said simply.
I smiled weakly, but even I couldn't hide from Olaf. I knelt down to his level looking at him in the eyes with a smile.
"I'm good, Olaf. There's much on my mind today."
"I know, Anna, but if she were back she'd tell you to cheer up, I know it."
He was right about that fact, but my sister wasn't my sister anymore. She had no remorse that day for attempting to take my life, a sacrifice that Elris paid. Though it wasn't just Anna that occupied my thoughts.
The kids splashed around in the water with Niklas for twenty minutes before Lily looked at her hand in amazement.
"Papa, what's wrong with my hand?" Lily asked.
"It sometimes happens when being in water," He answered, "Once you come out and dry off, it'll go back to normal."
"Promise?" She pleaded.
"Promise," Niklas replied, kissing her on the head.
Alex examined his hands most curiously.
"Are we fish?" He asked.
I held back a laugh, which Olaf couldn't contain himself.
"Not at all, son." Niklas smirked.
We needed to head back soon. It was getting into the afternoon by now and I wanted to be home to greet Aunt Isidora, my cousins, Hans, and Aria. Their journeying by ship made me nervous. Waves began to grow as they merged onto the shore growing in size. One particular wave scared Lily by coming down over her head. Niklas quickly scooped both the kids up getting them out of the water getting them to the carriage. I looked on across the fjord as I saw more waves inbound. The wave that just drenched Lily was small by comparison. It was like a ripple effect echoing across the fjord, but these other waves were traveling fast and coming right into the cove.
"Elsa, let's go," Niklas urged.
Olaf hurried to join them in the carriage as I was the last on the shore. Then I heard it. The voice that called out to me many times before. Though I hadn't heard it since before the kids were born. I sung back to it and it repeated the lovely tune. In my distraction, the waves grew in size and as I snapped myself back to attention, I realized these waves could potentially get to land and start a flood. Grey clouds loomed overhead as the sun disappeared and I felt water hit my face. The weather changed so drastically so fast. Running toward the water, I firmly planted my feet in the ground as I took a breath and blasted ice from my hands building up a wall of ice to dam the waves of water that were coming. The first wave hit and my wall easily took the force, but the second slap of the wave cracked my ice in a few places. Nervously, I held my ground as ice kept pouring from my hands.
"Elsa, get in the carriage now!" Niklas yelled behind me.
I could that overprotective node of his tone, but I maintained the wall. I didn't want to stop making ice until I was sure the waves wouldn't crash down on my family as we rode inland. In less than two minutes, ten waves of varying intensity smashed against my ice and even collided over the top of the ice with each pass of wave. I was soaked, my hair dripping, but I had to protect them. Suddenly Niklas grabbed my arm as he pulled me to the carriage himself. He helped me up as he got Sven running again. I sat down next to the kids silently as I wrung out my hair. Olaf distracted the kids as we rode on.
"Didn't you hear me?" Niklas asked me.
"I thought I could stop it,"
"Even you can't stop nature, Elsa. As powerful as you are." His voice was calm given how annoyed he probably was with my staying on the shore longer than I probably should have.
"Those waves, those weren't normal."
"I agree," He paused, "Elsa, your nose is bleeding."
I wiped my nose just barely with a napkin from the picnic basket not wanting to alarm the kids. Leaning against Niklas's shoulder, my eyes felt heavy as I grabbed his arm in mine.
"I'm sorry, I just wanted to protect my family."
"I know," He whispered, as his lips found their way to my forehead.
I wanted to sleep suddenly feeling so tired, but my ears perked up the rest of the way home to Arendelle at the sound of that beautiful melody.
Kai and Gerda greeted us in the courtyard of the palace. Kai grabbed the empty basket and went to get Sven to the stables after we all got out from the carriage. The kids ran ahead with Brigitta to get changed and before Niklas and I got inside, another carriage approached. We turned to greet not only Aunt Isidora, Royan and Aksel, but also Hans with little Aria. With many hugs exchanged, Aria snatched one from her uncle. She had grown up these past three years. Almost a teenager and taller than I remembered.
"Uncle Niklas!"
"Aria," He laughed as he looked over at Hans, "How're the isles?"
Hans held a grim expression as his face fell, "Not here, we can talk later." He said walking by us into the palace. Aunt Isidora grabbed my arm smiling warmly.
"And how is my niece, the queen these days?"
"Hanging in there as any mother is with a pair of three-year-olds." I nodded, "How was the journey across the fjord?"
"Not easy, but we managed. Royan used wind currents to speed up the ship."
"Explains why you're here so early."
"I don't wish to burden you, my dear," Aunt Isidora replied.
"Not at all, you're family." I nodded.
We all went inside the palace as everyone was amazed at the decor for the birthday celebration. Aria taking note of all the lights and colors. Gerda showed everyone to their rooms to freshen up before the rest of the guests would arrive in a few hours. Brigitta got the kids changed while Niklas and I freshened up ourselves. I slipped into a light, but comfortable burgundy sundress while Niklas wore black pants with a green vest over a white shirt. Clothes fit for a king and queen, but to keep cool for the summer. I sat down at my vanity taking a brush through my hair that had dried since coming home. Niklas came behind me putting his hands on my shoulders looking at me through the mirror with a grim expression.
"What?" I asked, curious as to why his face looked so sour.
"I can handle the birthday guests, you should stay up here and rest, so you can recoup after today."
My eyes narrowed as I rose to my feet turning to face him.
"And miss their birthday celebration?"
"Elsa, your bloody nose told me everything, your body is spent."
My hands clenched tight as I looked at him fiercely.
"That was all it was, Niklas, a bloody nose, I'm fine!"
I hated being treated like a porcelain doll. Power takes a toll sometimes and that was all this was. I wish he could understand. Walking ahead of him toward the door, I could feel the ice permeating from my feet as I walked as ice crystals grew on the floor in perfect footprints where I walked.
"Clearly, you're fine." He grumbled, moving ahead of me out of the door to the hallway. I sighed heavily before following after him. The kids were with Brigitta and Olaf waiting for us at the bottom of the stairs. Alex snatched my hand in his holding tight as Lily leapt into her papa's arms.
"People will be coming soon to celebrate you both being born. What do you want to do in the meantime?" I asked them.
"Color!" They both chimed together.
"Let's go," Olaf urged as the three of them headed to a nearby table.
Brigitta looked at Niklas and me bowing.
"I'll keep an eye on them, your majesties."
"Thank you, Brigitta." Niklas acknowledged.
Just like that, Niklas and I were alone and I hated the silence between us. I was frankly still frustrated, but I just needed time for that to pass. Being protective as always and I loved him for that, but sometimes it was too much. The kids got settled at a nearby table as Brigitta spread out a rainbow of colors on the table. Niklas cleared his throat looking at me.
"I'm going to find my brother," He said, walking away without another word.
I opened my mouth to stop him, but no words came out and I let him go. I wasn't alone long in the hall before my aunt joined me.
"You outdid yourself with the theme of the party, my dear. Everything looks splendid."
"Thank you," I smiled weakly.
Aunt Isidora watched me most carefully reading my expression and it didn't take long before she could tell that my thoughts were occupied.
"How are you, Elsa, really? An aunt can't help, but be concerned." She said.
I looked around before answering her.
"Not here, follow me."
She nodded as she followed me to the library which I felt was a better place for a private conversation. I closed the door behind us as we each took a seat.
"It's like everything is coming to a head today," I said, finally, "Today of all days, which I want to be perfect for the kids, everything is wrong."
"You put too much pressure on yourself, my dear."
"My sister is missing, strange weather patterns nearly drowned us by the fjord earlier, and when I tried to stop it, I got a bloody nose. Niklas and I have been at odds since then. He thinks I shouldn't attend the party."
"And you disagree?"
"I'm their mother and I hardly want to deal with gossip as to why the queen isn't attending her own children's birthday celebration."
When I finally took a breath, Aunt Isidora just regarded me with kindness.
"You know Niklas loves you. Try to see it from his side, he lost the majority of his family in one tragic shipwreck. He doesn't want to lose anything else."
"I do understand." I replied, "But I think I'm fully aware of what I can and cannot do."
"You push yourself, Elsa. It explains the bloody noses."
"I know," I nodded
"You have lost so much in the past three years, between your sister and-"
"I know," I interrupted, cutting her off as I bit my lip. The wounds still fresh as if they happened only yesterday.
"Take care of yourself, you cannot pour from an empty cup."
"Wise words," I replied.
"I only wish to caution you, my dear. I've recollected somethings recently that explains why Royan, Aksel, and I were all taken under that sleep a few years ago."
"We know it was a magic spell of some kind. Though the origin was-"
"I remember a man's voice in my head speaking into my past hurts. Losing Colin, attempting to destroy Ahtohallan, and those traumas were a sort of chink in my armor. I was susceptible and vulnerable. I don't want you to fall under that as well."
"I won't." I nodded.
Aunt Isidora grabbed my hand.
"It starts by not pushing yourself."
"Thank you, I hear you. I promise." I smiled.
The sudden heaviness that weighed my mind was somewhat lifted after talking with my aunt and I appreciated her council. I parted from her to find my husband. It took some asking around, but he was with Hans and Aria in the courtyard walking through the gardens. Aria spotted me first as the guys had their backs to me.
"Aunt Elsa!" She cried.
Aria whose long hair had grown out to her lower back. I didn't notice the length upon their arrival as it was fixed in a bun.
"I love the Christmas theme you're doing." She smiled.
"It's definitely a favorite." I nodded.
I glanced over at Hans nodding toward him as he did me before I glanced at Niklas.
"Can I talk to you?" I asked, locking his eyes in mine.
"Of course," He said, "Excuse us."
We moved around the corner out of sight, so we could be alone walking amongst the garden flowers. We stopped by the water fountain where we took a seat on a stone bench. I grabbed his hand interlocking our fingers sighing heavily.
"I'm sorry for being so defensive with you earlier."
"I just want you safe. I almost lost you when the twins were born."
I squeezed his hand.
"I know, I guess I just needed some time to see things from your perspective."
"I appreciate that." He replied.
"But I would love for you to see it from mine sometimes. I don't like feeling weak."
"Oh I'm fully aware," He laughed.
"Sometimes pushing myself is how I feel I can make myself stronger."
"I get that, Elsa, but not pushing so much to it harming you. All about finding that strategic balance."
"Thank you for your patience as I continue to find that balance," I said leaning against his shoulder. Niklas put his arm around me holding me close.
"Remember when Olaf started playing tic tac toe with the babies' kicks?" Niklas laughed.
"Of course, he kept careful tallies." I smiled, "Olaf was the first one to offer to babysit before anyone else."
"Alex and Lily are perfect. I'm grateful the doctor was skilled enough to save your life that night. You lost so much blood."
He leaned down kissing my forehead. I put my head up looking at him.
"I'm here, you don't need to worry."
"Can't help it," He replied.
Nobody can prepare you for childbirth. The twins came early among other complications that nearly cost me everything, but luckily, my strength was enough and I came out on the other side. Niklas and I were told by the doctor to not grow our family anymore as my body more than likely wouldn't be able to take another child to term. We mourned the loss of being unable to grow our family further, but eight months ago, I had a surprise.
"I'm sorry I got pregnant those months ago."
"Well, I'm not sorry," He said, wiping his thumbs across my tear-stained cheeks, "We became a family of five briefly and it was wonderful. No regrets."
"The doctor warned us after the twins," I muttered.
"And life had other plans." He interrupted, "You did nothing wrong."
"My body was too weak,"
"Your body had been through it. The doctor was right. It was a risk and our child lost the fight."
During that time, I was thankful for Niklas and his kindness and compassion. Though more than anything during the months following the loss, I wish Anna was here since my mother couldn't be. Our family had been through so much and for the most part, we were thriving.
Niklas and I spent an hour in the garden by the time guests started arriving. Carriages and horses flooded the streets outside our palace as people came through our doors. I didn't remember inviting this many people, but the twins enjoyed the extra attention, especially from kids their own age who came with their parents. Guests mingled and kids were running around the hall laughing. Musicians played various Christmas tunes softly in the background given the theme of this party. Into the evening before the cake was cut, Niklas and I stood at the front of the room to greet the guests as Niklas wanted to say a few words.
"Thank you all for coming today to celebrate Alexander and Lillian's birthday. Your presence here today means the world to Elsa and I. Please, eat your fill and enjoy the evening."
Guests cheered as Niklas and I then made our rounds to individual guests. The fatigue was starting to hit, so I just took Niklas's arm to steady myself. He grabbed my hand giving it a gentle squeeze.
"You alright?"
"Yep," I nodded.
I don't think I convinced him, but he didn't press either. He knew I didn't want to miss the party unless absolutely necessary. My heart was racing as continued on and soon I would call it and excuse myself to get upstairs. Suddenly I heard that song as my ears perked up to it. At first quiet, but then grew louder. I looked around for the nearest window and gazed out on the fjord just outside. The voice sang louder and I felt a strange reaction in my body. My hands started to grow a slight frost. We ran into Pabbie who bowed as he greeted us.
"Your majesties," He said.
"Pabbie, it's good of you to come," Niklas said.
I looked at Pabbie and opened my mouth to speak when I heard the voice again echo across the fjord to me. It sounded almost impatient like an alarm was going off in my head. Pabbie grabbed my hand.
"Your majesty, are you quite alright? You look flushed." Pabbie asked.
"Sorry, it's been a day," I replied, "Had a disagreement with some waves on the fjord today."
"I see," Pabbie replied.
"Elsa," Niklas urged.
I squeezed his arm.
"I'll go upstairs for a few minutes." I nodded.
"Once I can get away, I'll come check in." Niklas replied, glancing around the room quickly, "Let me go find Royan and Aksel to help escort you upstairs."
I released his hand backing up.
"I can make it upstairs by myself, please." I urged, "Let my cousins enjoy their night."
Pabbie watched me nervously and I nodded toward him and my husband as I headed for the stairs leaving the main hall. Alex caught me on my way up snatching my hand.
"Mama, where you going?"
I knelt down to his level kissing his forehead trying to get my emotions under control as I quickly wiped a tear before he saw it fall.
"Your mother needs to rest for a few minutes," Niklas said, coming behind me.
"I'll be right back," I nodded, "Go find your sister,"
"Okay," He nodded and quickly ran off.
My smile faded as I stood back up as Niklas kept his hand at the small of my back.
"I'll be right there," He said, as I could no longer feel his touch upon climbing up the stairs. He listened to my wishes and I appreciated that all the more. I got upstairs and down the hall to our bedroom door. I saw Bruni standing outside the door as if he was waiting for me. Probably wanting some snow to munch on. I pushed open the bedroom door and Bruni spun in circles looking at me with his large beady eyes.
"I know what you want,"
I waved my hand above him as small snowflakes trickled out from my hand as Bruni's mouth gaped open to catch them all. Once he had his fill, I offered my hand out to him to climb up and he did so. He was hot to the touch, I moved him between my hands quickly to cool him off.
"You miss Anna?" I asked him like I expected an answer.
The voice called again as my head was drawn to gaze out the window again like a magnet. I was drawn by the voice. Bruni perked up too as he looked out the window.
"You hear it too?" I questioned.
He looked at me and blinked as we both looked out the window again. Shortly after, a gentle knock came on the door as Niklas poked his head in.
"What are you doing knocking on your own bedroom door?" I teased.
"Just wanting to respect my wife's privacy." He nodded.
Bruni leapt into my lap as I patted the spot beside me on the bed. Niklas came and sat down in that spot as I looked at him.
"How are you feeling?"
"Better," I replied, "I want to come back downstairs."
"As soon as you're ready."
I grabbed his hand as I heard the voice call again. He didn't react like Bruni and I did. Of course, he didn't hear it. I had ignored the call for three years. I wanted to focus on being a wife and mother and a good queen to my country, but now I couldn't be selfish. Lives were in danger. Though I felt that familiar dread of fear if I were to become the Fifth Spirit, retraining my body to control powers that were new to me would be a task and take time. With the mysterious circumstances surrounding the fjord and my sister's disappearance, I'm not sure I had the time I needed, but I had to try.
"Niklas, I need to sail to Ahtohallan as soon as possible."