A/N: So this whole thing is from Taichi's point of view, I just loved how angsty they made him in Tri so I tried to incorporate that into the story given their situations. I always had this headcanon that Tai would eventually realize that he can't really play football professionally and that would take a real toll on his attitude. Also his was the only job that I didn't agree with in the 02 ending, and the job I think would suit him is something you might find out later in the story.

Thank you Anglelic Moonlight, Scripturiens, Reniel Moza, j8919, Lecka-chan, MoustachedCat and Kohi-ster for reviewing, I'm glad you guys enjoyed the previous chapter, and though this one is quite serious in comparison, I hope you enjoy this too!

-x-

Somehow, it was soothing for him, standing in a crowd with noise enveloping him wholly, everyone's attention fixed on the stage where his best friend stood singing in a calm voice. This place right now, was Taichi's safe place. For someone who always liked to be on top of the world when he was younger, Taichi realized that he had grown up to be a coward. He had grown into that person who kept up a strong exterior for the sake of other people, that person who hid his true feelings behind a mask because he didn't want to cause trouble for others, that person who didn't know whether it was right to speak his mind anymore. And he hated it, he hated his current self.

Taichi wanted to close his eyes and skip to ten years in the future, when everything was okay, or as Yamato had said earlier, when he was married to Sora with four kids. The brunet felt a blush creep up on his face when he imagined that future and he had to shake his head vigorously to get that image out of his head. He felt Hikari and Takeru's eyes on him immediately as they were standing right in front of him and the tiny hall was packed with people. He faced them with a sheepish smile, the younger blond shrugged and turned his attention back to the stage while his sister raised her eyebrows, not buying his smile.

"Onii-chan, are you alright? Your face is all red, you look feverish." Hikari's voice was laced with concern, as she turned around completely and placed a hand on her brother's cheek. At her actions, Takeru also turned around to face them, inspecting the older guy's face to check for any signs of sickness.

"I am totally fine, Hikari. Trust me, it's nothing. My thought train got a little carried away." Taichi kept the smile intact, brushing his sister's hand away from his face. He put one hand on Hiakri's head and the other on Takeru's and made them face the front again, reassuring them that he was fine. Now Taichi started thinking about how Takeru would tell Yamato about this and the blond would fuss over him after the concert instead of following Mimi, and he wanted to hit himself but decided against it as he didn't want the younger siblings to get any more suspicious of him. He fixed his eyes on Yamato, tuned out all the other extra noise, and he did not think of anything else but the music for the rest of the performance.

-x-

"Takeru said you're not-"

"I'm fine. Nothing happened."

Taichi stood watching as Yamato quickly packed up his guitar backstage, and he rolled his eyes at the look of disbelief on the blond's face, but he was glad that Yamato didn't push him further. It was freaky, how Yamato knew when to push his buttons and when to leave him alone and Taichi wasn't sure what he did in his past life to deserve such an amazing friend but he really believed that Karma wasn't always a bitch.

"Okay, I'm ready to go. Are you sure I was good today? I thought I was faltering a lot." Yamato muttered under his breath as he picked up his guitar case and the two exited the hall from the back door, hoping to avoid the fans or as Taichi liked to call them, monsters hungry for Yamato's skin.

"You were great as usual, don't sweat it." Taichi replied, checking his phone before exiting, but as soon they reached the exit door, Yamato put his free hand in front of the brunet stopping him in his tracks. Taichi looked at his best friend, confused by his actions, their group was waiting outside near their usual spot which was invisible to the fans and he just wanted to get there fast and get the night of immense social interaction over with.

"Are you really okay? Like not health wise, I mean like generally?"

"Why do you ask?"

It was dangerous, playing this game with Yamato. Because he knew that the blond always shared all of his problems with Taichi but Taichi only did the same after he was pushed to a certain level when he could no longer avoid answering the questions. The brunet was also aware of how much this used to hurt Yamato, it always made the latter think that Taichi didn't trust him enough which wasn't the case at all. The brunet always felt that he'd be unnecessarily troubling Yamato with his problems so he always kept quiet, which he realized over the years wasn't actually the right thing to do but it was very hard for Taichi to get rid of his old habits.

Every time when the brunet reached his brink and other people around him started noticing, Yamato and Hikari usually being the first ones, he hated the look of betrayal and hurt that would cover Yamato's eyes as he tried to maintain a straight face. And it was happening again, Yamato was hurt that Taichi hadn't told him about what happened between him and Sora from the day it started but he kept quiet about it, and right now he looked not only hurt but also frustrated, because Taichi was attempting to hide again.

"You look bothered by something. It's alright if you don't want to tell me, but you don't have to force yourself to come out with us tonight. Just go home if you want to, Takeru and I will drop Hikari on our way back." There it was again, Yamato giving him a perfect way out because he knew that's exactly what Taichi wanted.

The options quickly jammed into his head and Taichi wasn't sure which one to pick. He didn't want Yamato to miss a chance to spend time with Mimi, but he also wanted to tell Yamato that tonight he felt like falling asleep to one of the blond's songs and not waking up for at least ten years. So really, he had to pick whether he was going to be a good wingman or a clingy best-friend. The brunet was well aware of how selfish he acted when it came to the blond, he was rude to him, they bickered all the time, he intentionally disagreed with him even when he knew that Yamato was right just to piss him off and yet, he felt relaxed when he was around the blond, he felt like he didn't need to explain himself, that Yamato would never doubt him no matter what the situation and that if nothing else worked, the blond would always have his back. Taichi was his truest self when he was with Yama and he wasn't sure if he was ready to share him with Mimi yet.

"I know you're mad about me not telling you stuff, but tonight is the last time that I'm going to make you brush it off. Yama I swear, tomorrow I'll tell you everything." Taichi stated, searching the blond's eyes for approval and once he saw it, he breathed a sigh of relief and added with a grin, "So let's just go get dinner with everyone else right now, you don't want to keep Mimi waiting."

What Taichi had expected was a blush and nervous denial from Yamato but what he got instead was a sudden disappearance of the approval that had been visible in his eyes earlier, and now they were filled with an unexplainable rage.

"Are you serious, Tai?"

"Huh?"

"You think that's more important for me? Flirting with Mimi when you're obviously going through something bad, and don't you dare deny it. This isn't even about Sora, this past year you haven't been yourself at all," Yamato's tone was accusatory, and his voice ached. This was probably the first time that the blond had looked at him with so much anger, so much pain.

Taichi gulped, and avoided looking at the blond, what he really wanted to do was make a joke about how Yama had actually accepted that he had been planning to flirt with Mimi but he knew that would just make things worse. He could avoid answering the question, or reply vaguely but the damage was already done, neither of them would be attending the dinner tonight and if he didn't give the blond a concrete answer right now, he was sure that Yamato would just stop talking to him until he did.

"Yama, you don't underst-"

"But I do. I do understand. I know exactly what's bothering you. Just like you knew that I was angry at my dad for never being home and leaving me alone in that apartment without a second thought, I know exactly what's bothering you" Yamato paused, struggling to keep his voice down, "What really hurts is that you don't think I deserve to know, you don't think I deserve to understand."

"No, that's not true," The brunet replied quickly, his head was spiralling with thoughts on how he could have avoided his situation, how he could have avoided Yamato getting mad at him and yet, he couldn't avoid the reality that his best friend was standing in front of him, feeling angry and betrayed and he was still trying to run away, he was still acting like a coward, " You're just happy right now and I didn't want to bother you with-"

"I wasn't happy six months ago, or eight months ago."

"Yes, but you were fighting with your dad then and you needed me at that time, I didn't want to bother you by-"

"If you say that one more time, I'm going to punch you so hard Taichi."

"Is everything okay…"

Neither of them had noticed had heard the back door open, and now their siblings were standing in the doorway looking at them with anxious eyes. It was Takeru who spoke first, and instead of answering him, Taichi looked past him to check if their other friends had followed them or not. Noticing their absence, he breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he wouldn't have to explain this to anyone else except Hikari. But that moment of relief was indeed only a moment as Yamato answered his brother hastily.

"No, Takeru everything is not okay. I'm going home, I'll see you tomorrow after school." The blond turned around to leave from the main entrance, not giving his younger brother a chance to protest or convince him to join the others.

"Yama…"

"Unless you're going to tell me what's wrong, I'd appreciate it if you didn't talk to me at all." With that, Yamato stormed off in the opposite direction without looking back even once.

There was completely silence for a few minutes as both Takeru and Hikari stared at Taichi, unsure of what had happened and what they were supposed to do now. It wasn't as if this was something new to them, Yamato and Taichi fought in front of them all the time but it was very rare for them to witness a serious fight, because those usually happened when no one else was around. Taichi closed his eyes and rubbed his temple, letting out a frustrated sigh. He definitely didn't want to go to dinner with the others, but he also didn't know how to tell that to the younger kids waiting for his reply.

"Onii-chan, let's go home." Hikari's voice caught Taichi's attention and he looked at his sister reluctantly. She smiled at him gently, and looped her arm with his, "You don't look well at all, so let's just okay go home for now, okay?" Taichi nodded dubiously, having lost his ability to speak for a few minutes as he was totally confused by his sister's suggestion, "Takeru, sorry but you're going to have to explain to the others..." the younger brunette trailed off as she looked at her friend expectantly.

"Oh, yeah. No don't worry about it, I'll handle it." Takeru grinned, which looked quiet forced to Taichi, "See you tomorrow then. Take care, Taichi-nii!" He tried to sound cheerful, but the gloominess in his voice and his posture was quite clear when he left.

-x-

As they walked home side by side, Hikari entwined her fingers with his and when Taichi shot her a puzzled look, she replied with a happy smile. They were mostly silent throughout their walk and Taichi was glad that Hikari wasn't bombarding him with questions, he loved that about her because he knew Takeru was kind of the opposite in this situation. But not only was his sister always patient with him, she was also usually the one who helped him make up with Yamato by telling him how he was supposed to apologize. So even though he was glad she wasn't asking questions, he was also sort of hoping that she'd tell him what he was supposed to do now.

"There are some things that I might never understand, because I'm younger." Hikari said quietly, and at first Taichi wasn't sure if she had talked at all or not, "Onii-chan has his 17 year old world and I have my 14 year old one, so there are always going to be things that I won't be able to comprehend…"

"I don't expect you to. But I also don't want you to worry about me either." Taichi muttered, quickening his pace because he wanted to get home as soon as possible but Hikari refused to cooperate with his speed and eventually he was forced to give up and return to their original pace.

"I never worry about you because I know you always have your friends by your side," She replied as she moved her feet forward slowly, not wanting to get home before she was able to tell her brother what she wanted to tell him, "But sometimes you don't let them help you and that hurts them, that's when I worry."

"I'm going to be fine Hikari, and stop walking like that." Taichi groaned, grasping her hand more firmly, he dragged her ahead with him.

"Your problems, whatever you're fighting against right now, only Yama-nii can understand it, so you should let him. It would make me feel so much better." Hikari said, a hint of pleading in her voice, she stopped completely and forced Taichi to face her properly, "Do it for me, okay? You love me don't you?"

Taichi didn't reply immediately, her eyes mirrored his look of determination when he set his mind to something. She wasn't going to back down until she got her brother to agree and by now even Taichi had gotten tired of hiding things from Yamato. Plus she was pouting and he had never been able to stand his ground against that face so he sighed, defeated.

"Of course, I love you! You're my angelic little sister who's too good for this world, and for Takeru and Daisuke." Finally, he smiled as pulled her into him and hugged her tightly, she rolled her eyes at the last part but returned the hug promptly, grasping onto him tightly.

"So you'll do it?"

-x-

It was chillier in the morning than he had expected and he had forgotten to put his muffler on. Taichi contemplated running back to his house and putting on a muffler instead of standing below Yamato's apartment building and waiting for the blond to come out. He could also borrow one from Yamato, but he was pretty sure if he went up there right now and started the conversation by talking about the weather, he would definitely get punched. As soon as he thought about the punch, Taichi noticed Yamato stepping out (he was wearing a muffler), he immediately ran up to him, falling into step with him effortlessly.

" 'Morning."

There was no reply, but Taichi had expected that. Yamato didn't even look at him, he just stared straight ahead as he continued walking. The worst part was that the blond hadn't even plugged in his earphones, which is what he usually did to avoid interaction, instead by not putting them on he was now conveying to Taichi that he was still hella pissed.

"About yesterday…"

There was no reply yet again, and Taichi wanted to hit the blond's head but he decided against it. He thought about it for a while and finally deciding on how to start, he came to a sudden halt, he kept his eyes fixed on the road as he tried to form the correct sentence. Yamato ignored his actions, and continued walking ahead, though he slowed his pace a little and Taichi couldn't help but grin when he noticed that. He took a deep breath, and decided that it was now or never.

"You know when we were kids, and not when we went to the digital world, before that. When we were just kids…"

Yamato stopped a few metres ahead of him, he didn't turn around to face the brunet but he made no move to go further either.

"At that time, I knew exactly what I was going to do you know. I mean, in life. I knew what I wanted to become. I was so sure of everything back then, even when I was with Agumon, I rarely wavered but…last year when I…when we lost the regionals, when we couldn't make it to the nationals…"

"That wasn't your fault!" The blond covered the distance between them in an instant, his face was laced with concern as he stared at Taichi with anxious eyes, "You guys played really well, it's just that the other team was-"

"Better? That's what Sora had said then too."

"But the team has improved so much this year, you've won a lot of games and I'm confident that you're going to qualify for nationals in both the main annual tournament and the Spring tournament. Maybe, you'll even win both!" Yamato said comfortingly, a small smile appearing on his face as he looked at Taichi confidently.

"And maybe we'll lose all the matches." Taichi replied, the enthusiasm was drifting away from his voice the more he talked about it, "I've realized that this isn't something I can do Yamato."

"You're going to stop playing soccer?" Yamato asked, shocked by his best friend's words.

"Eventually, yes. How far do you think I can go with this? Play till last year of high school, maybe even play in college, but what after that? Do you think I'm capable of doing this for a living?"

The blond was too stunned to reply, this was the first time that the two were talking properly about what the other had in mind for their future and he had hoped that whenever Taichi would share his plan, it would be a little more optimistic than what he was telling him now.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm not tired of the game or anything. I love it, really and I know I'm good at it. Not amazing, but better than most. And maybe that will get me somewhere, but my problem is that 'maybe'. I can't keep dangling on it forever right? I have to take a stand.

And that is the worst part about all of this. I've always wanted to play soccer for the rest of my life, and now that I have realized that I'm not capable of doing that, that I'm not capable of doing what I'm passionate about, it just really hurts."

The brunet's words were followed by silence, tired he sat down in a corner on the road and a few minutes passed before Yamato followed him in doing the same. Taichi glanced at him and saw that his best friend was trying very hard to think of something to say, he could imagine all the possible answers to his problem circling in the blond's head as he watched him. But before Yamato could start talking, Taichi decided to put it all out there in one go.

"You know why I messed up with Sora?"

The blond faced him, raising an eyebrow in a questioning manner.

"It's because I was jealous of her." Taichi turned his face away as a confused look appeared on Yamato's face. He didn't want to see the look on Yamato's face after saying what he was about to say, "I was jealous of how her mom is already helping her look at other things besides sports, how she's already beginning to have a plan about college and the future. Now, I'm not stupid okay?" the brunet paused to take a breath and he noticed a smirk appear on his best friend's face as if answering his last question, so he shot the blond a threatening glare and Yamato quickly wiped it away, "What I meant was, I know that sports isn't the only thing that I and Sora have in common, but it's the only thing that I have. And I was so angry about the fact that she was already trying to figure out what except sports makes her happy and I know that that makes me the worst person on the planet and if I do get her to forgive me, I don't think I deserve her anymore."

"Taichi, I totally understand what you're trying to say, and for the record I am so happy that you actually think about things like college and not just what's for dinner tonight-" At that, Taichi attempted to kick Yamato's feet but the latter was already used to all of the former's attacks so he easily dodged it, "But you know better than anyone, that Sora is one of the most forgiving person on the planet and if, no when you tell her the truth, she'll just hug you and cry a little and come to you with a list of things that you'd be good at the very next day."

A blush slowly made its way to the brunet's face as he thought about the hug and next to him his best friend rolled his eyes, not surprised that Taichi only listened to that part carefully.

"And, what I have learned in the past few weeks is that, it doesn't matter if you think that you don't deserve a person, all that matters is that they want you." The blond added as he turned his eyes towards the sky, thinking about Mimi, he felt himself smile out of habit.

"Woah, stop smiling like that, you look deranged radish."

"At least I'm not a clueless potato."

"No, you're a radish who's late for school."

"And you're a potato who missed club practice to make up with this radish."

-x-

A/N: It's necessary for Tai and Yama to say something insulting after their deep, emotional conversations to feel manly again. Thanks for reading, let me know what you thought about this chapter by dropping a review!