And so it was that the Gold Dragon Mari began living with Miss Kurosawa. But it wasn't smooth sailing for the aspiring idol and her gracious hostess. In fact, it was more like Beginner's Sailing.
(2.1)
"Please Dia?" begged Mari, doing the best impression of puppy dog eyes she could manage. Which, given that she'd never seen a puppy's eyes before, was pretty good.
Not that Dia was affected. "No! For the last time, you don't need a maid uniform!"
"Of course I do! Even if I'm not required to wear it while I perform my maid duties, I still need to practice wearing idol costumes. After all, even your favorite idol had to work hard to get to where she is today. You agreed not to sabotage me, yet here you are, refusing me even the most basic of idol costumes."
"Don't you dare try to turn this around on me!"
"Oh, why not get her a simple maid uniform?" interjected Kanan, "She doesn't have anything else to wear, and it's not like you can't afford it."
"I'm already providing room and board for her. Never did I say I would provide clothing as well," hissed Dia.
Kanan hummed in acknowledgement, disappointed but not surprised. She continued to think as Dia and Mari renewed the issue. What would make Dia agree to get Mari a maid uniform? Perhaps if she got something out of it, but what could possibly...
"I've got it!" declared the blunette. Dia and Mari looked over at her as she stood and began perusing a small bookcase, running a finger along the edge of the shelf before taking out a binder and flipping through it.
"Kanan-san," began Dia with a stern note of warning, "What are you doing?"
"Just looking through your Eli trading cards," she replied nonchalantly.
"What's a trading card?" asked Mari. "And when do I get my own?"
A small smile found its way to Kanan's face as she found what she was looking for. She turned the binder around carefully to show the others her discovery. "Dia? Wouldn't you like to see this for real?" she said with a smirk. "Mari can make it happen."
She was pointing to the Super Rare Eli Ayase Cafe Maid card.
As soon as the human saw what Kanan was showing her, her eyes narrowed. "How dare you use this against me."
Mari was also not thrilled. "Wait a minute, I'm not going to become an idol by riding on someone else's coattails! Besides, I like this hairstyle."
"Oh, I don't think you need to worry about that. Dia probably wouldn't be able to function for too long with her idol in such close proximity anyway. But it would be good acting practice, don't you think? You get to emulate one of the greatest idols in existence and Dia gets to fulfill her fantasies. It could be a once-a-month thing."
Dia and Mari exchanged glances, before looking to Kanan in unison. "Agreed," they chorused.
"Now give me my cards back," snapped Dia as she swiped the binder.
(2.2)
"What's this?" asked Mari, her gold eyes staring curiously at the contraption before her.
"It's a stove," explained Dia impatiently. "You cook with it."
Mari gave the stove a lengthy visual inspection, blinking curiously as she tried to puzzle out how it worked. "There's no heat," she observed.
"You have to turn it on." To demonstrate, Dia worked a knob and a small flame erupted from the burner.
"You cook with this piddly little thing?" scoffed Mari. "I can create far more fire that burns brighter and hotter. Watch!"
Emerald eyes widened. "Wait-!"
Mari loosed a torrent of golden-orange flames that just so happened to engulf the nearby rice cooker, incinerating the single most important appliance in any Japanese kitchen. When she was done, all that was left was a pile of ashes.
Dia's glare was downright murderous. "MARI-SAN...!" she growled.
"Um... it's joke?"
(2.3)
"Ooh! What's this?" wondered Mari excitedly as her hand moved to slide open a cabinet.
"Don't touch that!" exclaimed Dia. She went to stop the blonde, but it was too late.
The door opened up to reveal an intricate arrangement of certain pieces of merchandise, all of them featuring the likeness of a familiar blonde with ice blue eyes. Surrounding the merchandise was a ring of scented flower petals and unlit electric candles, all of it paying homage to the 23cm tall figure of Eli Ayase standing in the center.
Mari hummed curiously as she turned a twinkling eye to Dia, the ravenette already slamming the door shut with a scarlet flush on her face.
"...This isn't what it looks like," muttered the human eventually.
"Oh? Are you sure? Because it looks like I found your idol shrine." Dia didn't respond. "Though I have to say, I thought it'd be in a more prominent place given that you're her biggest fan, not shoved away in some corner of your apartment like a dirty little secret," she teased.
"This is the most ideal spot I have for her!" snapped Dia.
"I'm sure it is," said Mari condescendingly. Her smirk widened. "But it's nice to know you build these. After all, I can't wait to see what you'll do for mine."
(2.4)
Kanan took in the sights of everyday life in the side streets, the blunette having decided to spend the day stretching her legs on land as she walked down the plaza. Then her smile fell into a confused frown as her eye caught something rather unusual. Or rather, someone acting unusual.
"Mari? Why are you invisible?"
"Oh Kanan, hi! Watch this."
Kanan watched as Mari picked an apple from the fruit stand and ate it.
But the regular human shopping for fruit next to Mari instead saw an apple hover in midair before being devoured piecemeal, core and all. Dropping her basket, the human ran off with a terrifying shriek of "Shinigami!" echoing in her wake.
"What was that all about?" wondered Kanan.
"No idea. But that's the third one today! Wanna try it?"
"Hmm..."
And that was how Kudamo no Kudamono earned a reputation for being haunted.
(2.5)
When Dia returned home that night, she came face to face with a very disgruntled dragon maid. "Dia. We need to talk."
She frowned. Dia had never seen Mari with such a stern expression on her face. Taking her shoes off and setting her briefcase down, she nodded as she went to sit across from the blonde. "What is it that concerns you, Mari-san?"
"I was doing the laundry earlier and what I found disturbs me greatly."
Dia immediately gave the blonde her complete attention. Was the washer-dryer unit broken? Was the new detergent ruining her linens? Was there an infestation of rats chewing through her clothes?!
Mari cleared her throat before standing, an intense stare still on her face. Then, with a snap of her fingers, she pointed to the ravenette and declared. "You! Have! Boring! Underwear!" With each pause, miniature flashes of magical light exploded behind her to punctuate for emphasis.
Seconds ticked by in silence as Dia took that in.
"...what."
"You have boring underwear!" repeated Mari indignantly. "All the same color and all the same style! I can't have my future number one fan have such a boring wardrobe, especially when it comes to underwear. You should have something sexy and elegant, but there isn't even a single frill in sight... Oh how sad..." She looked away in exaggerated pity.
Dia jumped up. "You-! My choice of unmentionables is not open for discussion!" snapped Dia. "And what do you even know about this topic anyway? You don't even wear any!"
"Dia, I'm a dragon," said Mari with a flip of her hair, "And we dragons are far too majestic to lower ourselves to-"
"Majestic my foot," retorted the ravenette, "You dragons can be just as uncouth as us humans."
"Maybe Kanan can be, but as a Gold Dragon, I would never-"
"I've seen you drool in your sleep. It's not pretty."
Mari recoiled. "Wha-! That has nothing to do with the subject at hand! Besides, it's not as if you ever clean up any drool," she snapped defensively.
"Of course not," replied Dia dryly. "I have a maid for that."
In the end, Dia refused to buy new underwear and Mari was forced to chalk up a win for humanity. She also had to look into how to stop drooling while asleep.
(2.6)
"So how did the two of you meet anyway?" asked Mari.
Dia sighed and shook her head in exasperation as Kanan chuckled behind her. "Well, that's quite the story..." began the blunette.
Her flashback began...
Kanan let out a loud groan of satisfaction as she stretched, taking her first steps onto the white, sandy beach, water droplets glistening on her flawless skin as she shook her hair out. It'd been a week since she'd last walked on dry land, and she could truly appreciate the warm sand on her toes.
Behind her was a sign bearing the words: 'Private Property of the Kurosawa Family. Trespassers will be prosecuted.'
...then it was interrupted.
"She washed up on my family's private beach completely naked," deadpanned Dia. "I had to teach her the concept of modesty."
AN - The end of 2.4 is a pun in Japanese, where the store name translates to Kudamo's Fruit. Also, is Death Note still relevant? :P
