Alex tore her gaze from the floor where it had been glued, and looked at Piper reluctantly. She scuffed the toe of her shoe on the ground, grappling for the right words to say. So much time had passed and there was so much hanging in the air, best left unsaid. It seemed impossible to think of something that didn't sound totally idiotic.
"Can you fix this for me?" she finally said, gesturing to her black eye. She shrugged as if she was talking about the weather, and said, "I've tried to cover it with concealer and powder but it's not working…"
Piper's face lost its edge. She reached out for Alex's hand, entwining their fingers together, and nodded quickly. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the bruise despite Alex squirming under her gaze. Even Nicky - who seemed to take everything in her stride, no matter how unconventional or downright dangerous - looked like she was struggling.
"Of course I will," she said softly, her forehead creasing. "But...what happened?"
Alex ducked her head as kids streamed past, heading out to lunch. Piper let her hand drop, an act that didn't go unnoticed by Alex, who hugged her arms to her body. When they had disappeared from their line of vision, Alex looked up.
"Can we do it at your house?" Alex tucked a strand of hair behind her ear self-consciously. "My house is kinda out of action at the moment."
Piper fought the urge to ask another question. "Yes," she said, nodding quickly. She reached out and rubbed Alex's arm. Then she stopped to think, rather than blurting out what Alex wanted to hear. "I mean...my mom might be in, actually."
"Oh," Alex said tightly, looking away. She turned to Nicky reluctantly. "What about your place?"
Nicky raised her eyebrows. "Okay, what the fuck?" she asked, throwing her hands up. "So everyone's just gonna pretend this is normal, are we?"
"Nicky," Alex said, drawing her name out into a sigh. Her tone was clear - not now - but if Nicky caught wind of that, she didn't show it. "Please."
"No, Alex! You can't just rock up here looking like someone's used you as their personal punching bag and expect us not to ask questions. You know Blondie is only keeping a lid on it because she's scared you're gonna take off again."
"Actually, I'm not-" Piper began, but a sharp look from Nicky silenced her.
"I know you better than that," Nicky insisted, a frown painting wrinkles on her forehead. "You're not going anywhere fast. Look at you," Nicky said, and for the first time, Piper saw true concern in her. "You can barely fucking stand."
Alex stood a little straighter though her back screamed at her for it. "It's not that bad," she said through gritted teeth. "Nothing I can't handle."
"Mm," Nicky replied, sounding unimpressed. "Do you remember? I said the same thing about heroin."
Alex rolled her eyes. "Hardly the same, is it?"
"You tell me."
"Please," Alex repeated, glancing behind Nicky at the streams of kids coming back from lunch. "I don't want anyone to see me like this."
Nicky looked away for a moment, then nodded sharply. "Fine," she said, shaking her head. "We can go to my place. But I'm not happy about this."
"I know," Alex whispered. "Thanks, Nicky."
Nicky looked at Alex. Her eyes softened and her fingers tightened around her car keys. The jagged metal cut into her palm, but it was keeping a lid on her resentment.
"Come on, kid," she said softly. "And you, Blondie," she said to Piper. "She needs you right now."
Nicky pulled up outside her apartment building and cut the engine. The singer on the radio was rudely interrupted, and it was in that moment that Piper realized how silent the ride home had been.
"Nicky, do you have make-up that I could use? I have a little in my purse but I think it needs quite a bit of covering…"
"Yes," Nicky said without looking back. She swung her legs out of the car and slammed her door behind her, leaving Piper and Alex exchanging tired glances at one another.
They stepped out of the car together, following Nicky wordlessly to her apartment. She opened it up and stepped aside to let them in.
"I'll grab my makeup bag," Nicky said, gesturing vaguely to one of the doors ahead of them. "You two get settled. Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge."
Piper waited until Nicky had disappeared from sight to turn to Alex. "What the hell happened, Alex?" she whispered. She grabbed her hand. "You can talk to me, you know that!"
"I'm sorry, Piper," she sobbed. Her voice cracked on the blonde's name. "I get that you probably worried about me and-"
"Did you not get my calls?" Piper interrupted. "You knew I was worried about you!"
"Actually, no," Alex said with a sniff. "Diane smashed my phone." Alex looked ashamed at the admission and wouldn't look at Piper though she gripped her hand tighter than before. "And now I'm worrying you all and being cagey as fuck and I'm turning into my mother," she cried. "I don't wanna be like that!"
"Did she do that to you?" Piper asked quietly.
Alex shook her head. "Not...exactly."
Diane glared at Alex. "You shouldn't have told your friend to leave," she said. "She's the only one I was gonna get any answers out of."
"Are you kidding me?" Alex folded her arms, looking out of her window at Piper finally driving away. "I don't want her to see you like this. I don't want anyone to see you like this!"
"Have more respect! I'm your mother for God's sake. And I don't want you having a God-damn gun!"
"Why?" Alex retorted.
"Because it's fucking dangerous! Why the hell do you need it anyway?" Diane took a long drag from her cigarette, shaking her head.
"Was it dangerous yesterday? Or last week? Or three months ago?" she challenged. "Because I had it then too. And you were too busy with everything else to notice."
Diane grabbed her arm with her free hand, digging her nails in. "I'm working! To put food on the table, to clothe you!"
Alex scoffed. "You can't be fucking serious."
Piper folded her hands on her lap, waiting for Alex to continue. She couldn't stand to look at the ugly bruises on her face. "You can tell me," she repeated quietly. "I know I've gone on and on about the gun, and I'm sorry if...if I caused that to happen to you…"
Before Alex had the chance to answer, Nicky burst through the door. She made a beeline for Piper, and dropped the makeup case on her lap.
"I have to go," Nicky said, her voice thick.
Piper looked up questioningly. She noticed the smudge of mascara on Nicky's cheek but didn't question it. "Why?"
"Oh," Nicky replied, as if she hadn't been expecting to be asked, "Red called. She needs some help at the shop." She paused. "You two can stay here as long as you need, though...take your time. It's fine."
"What if your mom comes home?" Piper asked.
"If you pretend to be me, and Alex pretends to be Lorna, I'm not even sure she'll notice the difference." She stopped herself as Piper looked at her, not seeming amused in the slightest. "Seriously. If she's back before ten I'll pay you a hundred dollars."
Alex looked up. "Thanks, Nicky."
"She won't be home before then, so no need to thank me. I won't be paying you."
Alex raised her eyebrows. "I meant for letting us stay."
Nicky nodded. "I know."
As Nicky left, Alex turned to Piper, ready to continue their previous conversation now that they were alone. She scoffed. "It wasn't your fault, Piper."
"It wasn't yours either."
"No, it was," Alex insisted. "I shouldn't have pushed her. I always push her."
"You take care of her so well," Piper murmured. She pressed her hand on Alex's knee. "You've built a business for yourself to keep the lights on, what more could you do for her?"
"Show me where it is," Diane demanded. "Show me or so help me I will call your father. Unless you hand it over, you can go and live with him and fucking Nell."
"Mom," Alex sighed, closing her eyes. She tried to yank her hand back from Diane with little success. "Mom, please let go. You're hurting me."
She should have known what that look in her eye meant. What that eye twitch was telling her. Yet she hated seeing her mom like she was now. There was no coming back, not until she had spent three days in bed and came out of her mood in her own time. Alex still pushed it.
"The gun, Alex," Diane continued, stubbing her cigarette out on the desk Alex had so painstakingly painted. Alex watched, her bitterness and resentment building by the second. "Bring me the gun."
Grinding her teeth, Alex obeyed. "I hate you for this," she muttered.
As soon as the gun was in her hand, Diane let go of Alex. Sobs began to wrack her whole body, and she looked at her daughter. Gone was the little girl she loved so much, and in her place was a young lady, with free will and a mind of her own. Skinned knees and Lego houses had been so much easier, she lamented.
"I don't care if you hate me," she cried, reaching out for Alex and pulling her close. She nestled her head into Alex's neck. "I will always love you, and as your mama it's my job to keep you safe. You might understand one day, but even if you never do, I won't regret not letting you get tangled up in this gang kinda stuff. It ruins lives, honey, and you are so much smarter than that!"
Alex's eyes softened as she looked at her mom. "I shouldn't have said that," she said after a moment. "I'm sorry. I do love you. I do."
"I know you do, honey," Diane said, running her fingers through Alex's silky locks. "And that's why I'm getting rid of this once and for all. No more trouble, not for you."
Alex froze in the hug. She pulled away. "You can't get rid of it. Take it from me, sure, but please, mom...don't get rid of it."
"Alex, I'm not keeping a loaded gun in this house. What if your father hears about it? What would I do then?"
"Who's gonna tell him?" Alex countered. Before her mom had a chance to argue her point, Alex made a grab for the gun. Diane tried to yank it away, but she moved a second too late. The gun slipped in Alex's fingers and she grappled to keep ahold of it. Time seemed to move impossibly slowly as the gun dropped to the floor with a sickening crack.
"You don't understand," Alex continued, chewing on her fingernails. She looked up. Tears pooled in her eyes and she brushed them away before they fell. "Piper, I fucking shot her!"
Nicky pushed open the door to Red's little shop, pleased to be out of the rain. She shook her head, spraying raindrops everywhere, and felt her nerves calming already as she heard the little bell jangling above her.
She just needed space. Space from Alex, space from Piper, space from every single thing that had been going wrong lately. When she'd seen Alex's face, it was like a punch to the gut. Alex had always been there for her, yet she had missed that something was wrong. She hadn't even had an inkling.
From the cramped staff room in the back, Red's head snapped up. "We're closed!" she yelled, sighing as she set her glasses on top of her head and set her order forms to the side. Coming to a stand, she stuck her head around the door to see Nicky.
"I can come back tomorrow," the blonde offered insincerely, a little smile playing on her lips.
Red placed a hand on her hip, shaking her head. "We're never closed for you," she sang. "Sit down. I'll make you a hot drink."
Nicky sat wordlessly and played with the menu Red had carefully placed down ready for the next morning. Though Red made idle chat, Nicky made little effort to reply.
Red set a hot chocolate in front of Nicky and dropped a few marshmallows on top. As Nicky wrapped her cold fingers around the mug, Red sat down in front of her. She looked at Nicky for a moment, her lips pressed together sadly, and then tucked a few strands of Nicky's copper hair behind her ear.
"Are you gonna tell me, hm?" Red asked after another moment of silence.. She tapped on the counter top in front of Nicky with a scarlet nail. "Tell me what's making you look so sad. You usually sing like a canary."
"Mm," Nicky said, delaying saying anything else by taking a long sip from her drink. She set the mug down and wiped away the whipped cream mustache that had formed on her top lip. "It's Alex," she murmured, looking down into her mug.
Red rested her elbow on the counter, leaning her head against her hand. She looked at her girl, feeling powerless to help her. She'd nursed her through the worst part of withdrawal, but she couldn't make her friends play nice. It seemed like a small issue, yet she looked so dejected.
Red pressed her lips together. "Have you two fallen out?"
Nicky shook her head. "Not exactly…" she said with a sigh. She looked at Red, shrugging her shoulders. "Ever since she got with Piper, she never tells me anything."
"It sounds like you-"
"I'm not jealous!" Nicky snapped before she could finish.
"I wasn't going to say jealous," Red said gently, sensing a sore spot. "I was going to say it sounds like you miss her."
"Sorry." Nicky glanced at Red guiltily. "I do miss her. Piper takes up all her time. It's all Piper this and Piper that," she complained.
"Well, that's what happens when you're in love," Red said, flashing her an apologetic smile. She patted Nicky's hand, brushing her thumb over her knuckles. "I'm sure she doesn't mean to leave you out. She's had a girlfriend before, hasn't she?"
Nicky scoffed. "Just a few."
"Well then," Red said as she wiped up a small spot of hot chocolate that Nicky had splashed on her clean counter top. "She's probably just wrapped up in the whirlwind. It'll blow over. You two have been friends for years. Don't let anyone get in between that."
Red offered Nicky a smile and, getting up, she walked behind the counter. She pulled out a pastry that she had saved for Nicky earlier in the day, after the second to last one had been sold. It was her favorite. She passed it to her on a small saucer.
"Here," she said. "I thought you might like this. Put all thoughts of Alex out of your head and eat that."
Nicky took it, squeezing Red's hand in thanks. "Only if you have half," she said, breaking it in two. "I know it's your favorite."
Red sat back down on the stool. "You remembered," she said in surprise. She nibbled on a piece of the treat, feeling appreciated.
"Mhm," Nicky said, her mouth full. Red had offered her one the first time she had seen her, skinny and shaking and alone, and told her exactly that; "eat this, dorogoy, it was always my favorite." Nicky had since had better tasting delicacies in the shop, but nothing came close to making her feel as safe, protected and at home as that one does. She chewed thoughtfully.
"Now, are you feeling better?" Red asked. She rubbed Nicky's shoulder reassuringly. "I'm sure Alex will come back to you soon. She always does, doesn't she?"
"No, it's different this time," Nicky said anxiously. "Something happened to her," Nicky continued. She hesitated for a moment, wondering what Red would do if she told her the full story. "Do you remember that girl that came into the shop a while ago?"
Red raised her eyebrows. "The girl you 'didn't know'?"
Nicky nodded reluctantly. "She's Alex's ex-girlfriend...Sylvie."
"Sylvie?" Red echoed. Her eyes darkened, and Nicky jumped as she slammed her hand down on the counter. It smacked down with such force that Nicky was surprised she didn't yelp in pain, yet she was so focused she hadn't even felt it. Flakes from the pastry flew onto her freshly swept floor but again she didn't bat an eyelid. "She had the fucking audacity to come into my shop?"
Nicky chewed on her thumbnail worriedly, and despite her fears about Red exploding, she continued. "I think she did something again."
Red's head snapped up. "What did she do?" she spat, her accent thick. "It can't have been worse than what she did to you."
Nicky pressed her lips together, flicking a marshmallow so that it bobbed in the mug. "Well, I don't know for sure that she did anything…"
"But?" Red prompted, raising her eyebrows. "Come on, Nicky."
"Alex hasn't been in school for three days and Piper hadn't heard from her, I just assumed they were together...but she came into school today with a black eye and she was real jumpy...I don't know what's going on, Red."
"Where is her mother?" Red said, coming to a stand. "Why is she letting this happen? Can't she see that that girl is toxic? That she's bad news?" She threw her hands up into the air and then rubbed her chin in thought. "If she won't sort this out, then I will."
"Red-"
"No!" Red held a hand up, silencing Nicky. She rubbed her thumb along her jawline, her features harsh as she frowned. "Drink your hot chocolate, malyshka. I need time to think."
A/N: Thank you for reading! I really hope you enjoyed the update. I tried to update a little quicker this time as I know I tend to update fairly infrequently...believe it or not that isn't intentional and time really does fly. Thank you everyone for the reviews. Please do let me know what you think, it really inspires me to write the next chapter. As I imagined would be the case, not as many people are reading after season 7, I don't think. So those reviews mean a lot to me!
Hope everyone is doing well.
- Star xo
