"Mrs Vause, really I had no idea you were here," Red said, her voice full of compassion. She reached over to squeeze Diane's hand. "How are you holding up?"
Diane looked up from her bed, dark circles underneath her eyes. IVs ran from her wrists, wires tangled together in a mess. "Why are you here?" she asked rather abruptly.
Red sat back, a little shocked at the stark question. She assumed it was either the pain or the pain meds making her sound ruder than she intended, so smiled easily back at her. "I'm here to see how you are," she replied, a little less than honestly.
"Really?" Diane asked, folding her arms. She winced at the movement, sucking in a breath. It took her a moment to continue. "I know you care about Alex and I appreciate it, so if you're here about her please just say whatever it is you've come to say. I don't have the energy to make small talk right now."
"Of course not," Red said, pressing her lips together into something that almost resembled a smile. "I won't insult your intelligence again. I am here about Alex."
"Yes?" she prompted.
Red shifted in her seat. "It's about Sylvie."
Diane sighed, covering her eyes with her hand. "Don't fucking talk to me about her," she said weakly. "I've screamed at Alex, I've told her to stay away from her, but she's just drawn to her. Like a moth to a flame."
Red frowned. "Well get the fucking bug spray out," she snapped. "Of course Alex isn't listening to you. She's fifteen years old! Don't discuss it with her, just do something about it."
"What am I supposed to do?" Diane asked, glaring at Red. "You're the perfect mother, why don't you tell me?"
"I'm not the perfect mother," Red said, flushing. "I just don't want Alex getting hurt, and there's only one way this whole thing is gonna end."
"Nicky seems to think you're the perfect mother," Diane muttered. "She's always telling Alex that."
Red smiled faintly; she knew that was true, but it didn't make it a fact. "Well, Nicky doesn't know everything. She's a child, so that's how I plan to keep it, too."
"You have a husband to talk to," Diane said. "You have no idea how hard it is to raise Alex alone."
"You could talk to me," Red offered. "I know I don't understand how difficult it is. But that's not Alex's fault and she's suffering because of it."
"She's suffering?" Diane echoed. She leaned closer to Red, ignoring the searing pain shooting through her abdomen. "She's the one who shot me!"
Red choked on air. "Sorry, what?"
"Mhm, you didn't know?" Diane looked at Red, triumph on her features. "She left that part out, did she?"
"I haven't even spoken to Alex! How did this happen?" Red wondered aloud. "I don't understand."
"You wouldn't," Diane said, looking away. "She's a wild-child."
"Mm," Red said, not particularly agreeing. Alex was always polite, courteous, and a pleasure to be around. How much of that was due to her mother, Red didn't know, but she wasn't finding her very agreeable right at that moment. "God. She must be feeling so awful. Where is she?"
"She must be feeling awful?" Diane scoffed. "She hasn't visited me once! You know, when my mother found out I was pregnant, she told me it would ruin my life. I knew my baby wouldn't. I carried her and I raised her alone. And now guess what? Mom was right."
"Don't say that about your own child," Red said, recoiling back. "If she's wild, then that's on you!"
"On me? I can't control everything she does, Mrs Reznikov. She's got free will you know."
"I'm aware," Red said, frowning. She sighed. "Mrs Vause...I know you try your best with Alex, but things like this can be so damaging for children. Please try and make it up with her. She needs you."
Diane looked away, tears forming in her eyes. "Alex hasn't needed me for years now. She's a clever girl. Always was, you know. I failed her and she found a way to look after herself. She doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm an embarrassment to her, plain and simple."
Red laughed. "You think I'm not an embarrassment to my kids? Vasily makes me drop him off round the block. All kids get like that. But it passes and doesn't last forever. Maxsim lets me say goodbye in front of his friends now."
"They only come round if you were there for them," Diane murmured. "Alex had to be there for herself. I've tried, Mrs Reznikov…" her voice sounded heavy and Red wasn't sure if it was emotion or the meds. "I've tried so hard, but I've failed her."
"Well, adults don't always make the best decisions. That includes mothers."
"You wouldn't," Diane said, tears dripping down her cheeks. She wiped them away, looking at Red. "I don't know what to do anymore."
"You don't know the half of it," Red said with a sad half smile. "Listen, Mrs Vause...Alex will want to see you. If I know her she will be out of her mind with worry. Let me bring her to see you."
"I can't pay you for gas," Diane sniffed.
"There's absolutely no need for that," Red said, her hand curling around the strap of her purse. "I'll bring her," she said before Diane could come up with a reason not to. "I'll go get her now. Okay?"
Diane looked away but nodded. "Okay."
"Sweetie, it was an accident!" Piper said, rubbing Alex's arm comfortingly. "You didn't even shoot her, not really, the gun dropped and fired."
"I know, but if I'd just given her the gun.." Alex covered her eyes with her fingers. "None of this would have happened."
Piper pressed her lips together, unable to argue with that. After all, that was the argument she too had made previously. She gestured to Alex's eye. "But what happened to your eye…?"
Alex wiped her brow with the back of her hand. "I fell to the floor to help her, but she pushed me away...she hit me as I tried to help her."
A worry line appeared on Piper's usually smooth forehead. She couldn't imagine her own mother reacting the same way at all. In fact, when Piper had shut her mom's fingers in a car door, and the horrible crack of her bones breaking broke through the air, it was her mom who was comforting her, despite the pain she must have been in. Piper had been hysterical, and whilst they waited for her dad to arrive to take them to the ER, her mom had reassured her that everything was fine.
Granted, that wasn't a life or death scenario, but Piper's parents had always put her first. And though she always complained about the bump on her finger where her ring sat, she would never dream of putting any guilt onto Piper. She already felt guilty enough on her own.
"It was an accident," Piper repeated, nuzzling her head into Alex's neck. "It was as much your mom's fault as it was yours."
"But she's the one who got hurt," Alex said, a sob bubbling up in her chest. She looked down at the floor, her chin wobbling.
Piper stared for a moment, not doing or saying anything. She looked so young when she cried. It was almost captivating to watch her. Then she caught herself. "I think you're hurting too," she said quietly, tangling her fingers with Alex's. "You're clearly upset about your mom and your eye looks so sore. How is she, anyway?"
"I...don't know," Alex admitted. "I haven't been to see her yet. As they were taking her away she told me to stay away."
Piper chewed on her lip. "I'm really sorry, Alex."
"I'm a shitty daughter."
"No, you're not," Piper insisted. "You just...made a mistake." A moment of silence passed between them before Piper spoke up again. "So...you don't even know if she's okay?"
Alex shrugged miserably. "I mean, I think they would have called me if she wasn't."
A key in the lock tore them from their conversation. Piper froze on the spot. She had to admit she was a little afraid to come face to face with Marka again. Even if she'd seemed pleased to see her the first time they'd met, she wasn't sure she'd get such a warm welcome sitting in her living room.
"I'll go," Alex said weakly, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Piper watched on as she stood and walked to the door.
"Be careful," Piper said.
"Red?" Alex said in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
Red stared at Alex for a moment, her breath catching in her throat. Though they'd tried to cover it up, a nasty bruise was showing through her foundation. Still, she tried not to let her eyes linger. Whatever had happened between Alex and her mother, they were the only thing in the world they had - each other.
"I'm here to take you to your mother," Red said. "Nicky gave me a door key for emergencies. I don't think her mother knows I have it, so you know, keep that to yourself."
"I will," Alex said easily, nodding. "I don't like talking to Marka anyways."
"That makes two of us," Red said dryly. "Come on, get your things."
Alex frowned, leaning against a small side table in the hallway. "Diane doesn't want to see me. She said so."
"Nonsense," Red said swiftly. "Your mother loves you and she wants to see you. So grab your coat, it's cold outside."
Alex crossed her arms, shaking her head. "Red, I don't want to see my mom. Not if she doesn't want to see me."
"Sorry," Red said, tightening the scarf around her neck. "Did I give you the impression I was asking you if you wanted to? Because I wasn't. I'll tell you again; go get your things. We're going to the hospital."
Alex stood up. She was already taller than Red, but she wasn't at all intimidating - she might have had the body of an adult, but she was still a child. Her face was set in a glare. Her mom wouldn't have lasted much longer in this standoff, but Red was no pushover.
Red only broke their intense stare to check her watch. "Do you want to hit every bit of traffic?" she asked, sounding bored.
When Alex realized she wasn't going to back down, she huffed. "I'll need to let Piper know."
"You can bring her if you'd like," Red said. She always liked to compromise. Alex had backed down, so she would throw her a bone, of sorts. "We could get some dinner afterwards?"
Alex scuffed the toe of her shoe on the floor. "No, I don't have much money at the moment."
"We can go to my bakery," Red said. "I promised your mother I'd look after you. You can't afford to lose any weight, you've barely an ounce on you."
"I don't like owing people," Alex said.
Red nodded. "I get that," she said carefully. "But I need somebody to do my displays. Vasily is still too short and Yuri won't be seen dead at the shop now. How about you do that for me whilst I fix us all something to eat?"
Alex nodded, looking away. "Yeah," she said softly, her hair falling in front of her face. "I can do that, if you need me to."
"I do," Red said, tucking her purse under her arm. "It would help me a lot if you could. What do you say?"
"Yeah. Okay." She nodded quickly. "Let me get Piper. She's good at art, she does all the displays at school," Alex said, sounding a little more eager. "She'll love doing this."
"Go on then," Red said, hiding a smile. "If we make it back in time, I know there'll be some sweet treats left too."
As Red pulled into the parking lot of the hospital, Alex held her breath. Her leg bounced uncontrollably.
"It's okay," Piper said, grabbing onto Alex's hand. She squeezed it reassuringly. "Your mom is going to be so excited to see you. She must have missed you so much."
Piper was thinking about the time her parents left her and her brothers to go on a Carribean cruise. It had been a lovely two weeks, Carol had gushed, but she had missed her babies too much to do it again.
Red glanced at Piper in the rearview mirror, pursing her lips. She hoped the blonde wasn't raising Alex's hopes too much; she knew from experience that Carol Chapman was very, very different to Diane Vause. Alex knew her mother, though, and shrugged despondently.
"I mean, she finds it hard sometimes," Alex admitted, giving a little half shrug with one of her shoulders. "Don't get mad at her if she isn't jumping up and down with glee."
Red took the keys out of the ignition, fighting hard to keep her face neutral. Diane might have been trying her best, but it looked to her that her best simply wasn't good enough. She held back a sigh and turned back brightly to the girls huddled up together on the back seat.
"Ready?"
Two enthusiastic nods was their response. Red nodded, giving Alex a quick smile, and climbed out of the car. She'd already navigated the hospital once this morning and she hadn't forgotten how to find Diane, so she expertly led the way. Just outside of the ward Red had told Alex her mom belonged to, Alex stopped.
"Red?"
The older woman stopped too, her hand hovering over the door handle. She turned back towards Alex. "Mm?"
"Will you stay with me?"
"Of course I will," Red said. She frowned. "I was always going to go in with you. Please don't worry. Nothing bad will happen."
"No, I know," Alex persisted. "But if she asks you to go...will you stay?"
Red raised her eyebrows, wondering what was prompting this question from Alex. Instead of probing her for more answers that the teen would likely be reluctant to give, Red nodded. "Yes," she said, no questions asked.
"Okay," Alex said, looking decidedly happier about where they were headed. "I think I'm ready now."
Piper stopped before following. "Do you want me to wait outside?"
Alex hesitated. "Do you want to wait outside?"
"I don't mind," Piper lied. Of course she wanted to go in with Alex. Of course she wanted to support her in the way that she deserved. But she didn't want to push her way in. She didn't want to bulldoze her way through this situation, when Alex was supposed to be the one making the decisions.
Alex wavered. "Would you come with me? I think...I think it would be easier with you there, with me."
Piper knew it wasn't an occasion for smiling. Yet she couldn't help but beam at Alex when she said that, and she nodded eagerly. "Of course," she said simply, grabbing hold of Alex's hand. "Together. We do this together. Right?"
Alex swallowed hard, looking from Red to Piper. "Right."
Turning away, Alex walked robotically through the ward until she saw a shock of dark hair on a white pillow. She instantly came to a halt.
"Mom?"
Diane's eyes fluttered open. "Alex," she said quietly, her pale face creasing in pain. "You came."
Alex flew to her mother's bedside. "Of course I came," she said, burying her head into Diane's shoulder. "I wanted to come ages ago. But...you didn't want me to."
"I did," Diane said, breaking out into sobs. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I should never have said that." She looked around and when she saw no-one, she said, "I just didn't want you getting blamed for something.."
Alex looked down. "Something that I did?"
"Do you think that matters to me?" Diane said. "I don't care what you've done." She looked to Red, who nodded encouragingly. "You're my child and I love you no matter what. Unconditionally. Okay?"
Alex nodded, breathing in the scent of her mom's hair as she snuggled in closer. "I really missed you, you know."
"I know, sweetie," Diane said, fighting tears. "I should never have said those ugly things to you." She held Alex out at an arm's length. "And I never should have given you that," she whispered, horrified at the black eye peeking out under makeup. She prodded at it gently, wincing though Alex didn't. "Does it hurt?"
Alex shrugged it off though it did, and her poking it had only hurt it further. "It's okay," she whispered.
"It's not," she said resolutely. "And I will make it better. I promise you."
Alex smiled but said nothing. Her mom had promised her the world a thousand times over yet barely a hot meal had materialised over the years. It wasn't her fault, she knew that, but it didn't make it any easier to swallow the lies.
"I'm just so glad you came to see me," Diane said, hugging her closer. She winced at the pain in her side. Upon seeing Alex's panicked face, she smiled. "It's okay. It's healing. I'll be okay. We'll be okay." She looked up. "Oh, and you brought Penny!"
"Piper," the blonde corrected, shifting her weight to her other leg. She stared at Alex's mother. She was supposed to be relieved that she was okay, but she couldn't help replaying the thought of Diane giving Alex that shiner. It was bugging her. More than bugging her. Sitting there was the woman who brought Alex into the world. The woman who was supposed to protect her from anything and everything. Yet she hadn't. She had failed her time and time again. It might have been wrong but Piper was finding it increasingly difficult to keep her mouth shut.
What if she got close to her mother and she broke down again? What if she couldn't keep Alex safe? It didn't seem she had done a very good job so far, and they were valid concerns. Piper focused on concentrating on counting the tiles on the wall.
"Oh," Diane said, still smiling. "Sorry. It's the meds, and I'm so tired.."
"Don't worry about it," Piper said. "I hope you feel better soon. Maybe we should leave to you rest, if you're feeling sleepy."
There was an edge to Piper's voice.
Alex looked up in surprise. She wrapped her hand around her mother's. "We don't have to go yet."
Diane looked uneasily from Piper to Red, who didn't look any happier at the situation. The older woman was pleased that Alex had seen her mother, but rather than Diane looking after Alex, it seemed the other way around. Red wasn't sure what to think.
"No, no," she said softly, looking down at her hospital gown. She placed a kiss on Alex's cheek. "You should go. You look tired too, monkey," she said, using the nickname she'd given her daughter years ago.
Alex smiled at the mention of it. She hadn't called her that in years. She used to be a clingy kid, before Diane had gone through her...difficult years. It had been a long time since she'd even thought of then. It didn't seem helpful to remember the better years.
"I am," she admitted. "Okay, we can go. But can I just talk to the nurse before we go? You and Red could go get the car and pay the ticket. I could meet you down there."
Red nodded and looked to Piper, who gave a swift nod too. "We'll see you down there. Take as long as you need."
"Once the ticket is paid you can't hang around," Piper reminded her. "Red will get a fine."
Alex nodded. "That's okay. I won't be long, promise. I'll meet you down there," she repeated.
"Feel better, Mrs Vause," Red said.
Piper echoed Red's sentiments with an empty smile and they turned away. Piper followed Red like a puppy dog, matching her quick step.
Red said nothing to Piper as they walked down to the car, despite seeing Piper's gaze lingering on her. She was mulling the whole situation over. How she would have handled it if it were her boys. If it were Nicky. She didn't know, but differently to Diane, that was for sure. She sighed as she opened the car up, sliding into the driver's seat. She drummed her fingers on the wheel contemplatively.
In the back, Piper couldn't hold it in any longer. "How can you be around her?" she exploded. "She's impossible! She gave Alex that black eye, you know. Not Sylvie. Her own mother!"
Red looked at Piper in the rearview mirror. "I know," she said. It hadn't taken much to figure out, and she was processing it as Piper was. She said no more on the matter.
"Alex doesn't see it," she continued, huffing in annoyance. "Diane does all this crazy stuff, puts her in danger, barely pays the bills and yet...and yet she still-"
"Loves her?" Red finished. She raised her eyebrows, a sigh escaping from her own lips. "Piper, she's her mother. People rarely see the flaws in those that they love. It's nature's way of keeping the population alive."
Piper didn't find the humor in Red's statement. She glared at no-one in particular and balled her fists up. "Nicky doesn't seem to see it that way. Her mom is horrible and she knows it."
Nicky. Red loved her, there was no denying that, but the girl wasn't anyone to model behavior against. Red sighed, placing her hands on the steering wheel. She didn't know how to word it, especially not to a teenager. Especially to a teenager who could repeat her words straight to Nicky.
"Nicky...Nicky is complicated," she said, letting nothing more slip. "She's confused."
"She doesn't seem it."
"I know," Red said. "But that doesn't mean it isn't true."
Before Piper could respond, Alex yanked the car door open on the other side. She wasn't exactly beaming like the Chesire cat, but she looked relieved and much happier than she had on the way over.
"Thanks, Red," Alex said as she slid into the seat next to Piper. She threaded her fingers into Piper's wordlessly and squeezed. "I feel so much better now I've seen her."
Red smiled. "No problem, honey." She looked at Piper, whose face was still set in a glare, but had lost its edge now Alex was next to her. "How about we go get some lunch? I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind to work through."
Alex looked to Piper. "How does lunch sound?"
Piper forced herself to smile. It wasn't hard when she was looking at Alex. Her anger at Diane was ebbing away, and Alex looked as if she had lost five pounds in the days she'd been missing. Piper nodded. "Sure," she said easily, rubbing her shoulder against Alex's. "Lunch with you sounds perfect."
A/N: Thanks for reading; I hope you enjoyed the update. I'm sorry it took so long. Thank you so much for all the lovely reviews. I appreciate every single one - please let me know what you thought of this chapter if you enjoyed. Or if you didn't let me know what you'd like to see in future.
Hope you're all well.
- Star xo
