A guilty conscience needs to confess. A work of art is a confession.
-Albert Camus
Pacing around in his office, Kakashi sighed heavily, running a hand through his hair in frustration.
Being a Hokage meant that he would only make decisions that would benefit the village, regardless of what his own feelings were on the matter. Up until now, he had no problem doing just that, mainly because there were not major threats to the village after the war.
Sasuke had been one, but after seeing how much he had helped during the war, the elders had agreed, albeit reluctantly, to let him be.
Besides, he mainly stayed outside the village, so it didn't really make much of a difference.
But now, he was faced by by-far the biggest decision he had to make as a Hokage.
Had Hinata simply returned with a child, he doubted that the elders would've made such a fuss. The mere fact of who his father was had the elders up his ass to do something.
And that was exactly the problem: Kakashi didn't know what to do.
And to make things worse, his Shinobi in ranks, especially ANBU, were showing resistance too. They refused to be sincere in the orders he gave, asking him to take action first.
That was another thing that Kakashi didn't know.
Take action against what?
Hinata was already in severe condition, so there was no threat from her. So, what exactly were his soldiers afraid of?
Kakashi had tried explaining to them, that he couldn't punish anyone until they were proven guilty. Hinata had all the answers but currently, she was hospitalised. So they could do nothing but wait for her to wake up.
He remembered Shikamaru looking at him strangely, raising his eyebrows, when he talked to him about it.
"They don't care about Hinata. It's Kazue they're worried about."
And suddenly, everything made sense.
According to them, the last thing they needed was another Uchiha who would try to do what his Clan mates had failed to do. Madara, Obito, Sasuke, Itachi, all had done something something monstrous, regardless of their reasons. Suddenly, Kakashi felt sick, realizing that people expected Kazue to join the Uchiha band of miscreants in no time.
It was absolutely disgusting.
Stifling another sigh, Kakashi took a seat at his desk. Even then, he couldn't help but drum his fingers on the table. He was restless.
He looked up when he heard a knock on his door. He grimaced, putting on a blank mask to hide his fatigue.
"Come in."
However, his facade came off, his eyebrows shooting up when he saw Kurenai step in. He leaned forward in concern.
"Everything okay?"
Kurenai's eyebrow twitched, as she sighed, exasperated.
"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"
Kakashi only shrugged in response.
"You can't exactly blame them. You rarely cam out after, you know, Asuma, and stopped completely after Hinata."
Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw her grimace at the name.
"How is she?"
Her grimace only increase when he asked that.
"Same as always. Alive but barely. Lady Tsunade said that it will be a while before she wakes up."
He grunted in response, running another hand through his hair. Kurenai watched, not having seen Kakashi, of all people, this tense before.
"How are things?" She risked asking.
Kakashi huffed out a breath in response.
"Worse than ever. They want me to punish them. Hinata is already in the hospital, so I can't do anything about that, so they want me to put Kazue under ANBU guard, for at least a few years."
"They?" Kurenai questioned, though she already knew the answer.
"The elders. And not only that, but they are being backed up by most of the Shinobi in this."
There was silence, as Kurenai took it in. Then, she glanced at Kakashi.
"To be honest, I expected you to have sided with them." She admitted.
Kakashi looked up, wary.
"What makes you think that?"
"Regardless of whether he was your student's brother or not, Uchiha Itachi still was an S-Rank criminal. Regardless of what the situation was between him and Hinata, I'd expected you to arrest Hinata on the spot for treason, as soon as she confessed that she was not forced."
Kakashi looked away in response.
He had a flashback.
Pale skin, wide moon eyes, her petite body trembling as she asked him about the question that had been plaguing her mind--He really was an idiot, ignoring his instincts when they were giving him a sense of foreboding. Even after all these years, he still remembered every detail of the night, sick with clarity. It made him sick that she had looked up at him, of all people, for the answers. She had trusted him to make judgement for her. Him, her superior, who had sworn to look out for his comrades.
And he, despite being that genius that he was, had ended up giving the wrong answer.
"What would you chose, Kakashi-sensei?"
He swallowed, recalling what he'd told her. He mentally shook his head, though his gut went on twisting and clenching painfully, reminding that he had failed her, not once, but twice.
Kurenai watched as Kakashi clenched his fists, lost in his own thoughts, unaware that he was being watched closely.
It was only when Kurenai felt the guilt rolling off of him, that she allowed herself to be surprised.
What would he be feeling guilty about?
Snapping out of his thoughts, Kakashi looked up at her, realizing that he wasn't alone. He breath caught, as her eyes showed her confusion.
It is almost like that time that letter-
Suddenly, Kurenai's eyes widened, as familiar words dawned upon her.
"It is because of you kind words, that I'm making this decision today."
The realization was like cold water on her face.
"Your kind words...making this decision-"
She stared at Kakashi, watching him stare back at her, both with widened eyes, one with realization, one with dread.
"In that letter," Kurenai began, watching as Kakashi stiffened, his mind ringing--Don't bring it up. For fuck's sake, Kurenai, please don't bring that up--her own fist clenching as she took a step towards the Hokage, watching as he buried his face in his hands, his fingers pulling painfully at his gray strands.
"She said something about you being the reason she left."
Up until then, she had wondered what that meant. But now...
"Did you know?" Her voice was shaky, a bit high-pitched, "About Kazue?"
His head whipped up.
"Of course not."
Kurenai narrowed her eyes at him. He held her gaze, not backing down.
He was telling the truth.
"Then, what did she mean by that?"
Beneath his mask, Kakashi gritted his teeth.
"While returning from the Sasuke retrieval mission, she fainted on the mission a few times. At last, I decided to take her to a nearby hospital, while all the others went ahead."
Kakashi swallowed again, suddenly realizing the reason Hinata had looked so pale after her meeting with the doctor.
They told her. That from that moment on, she would never be alone in her thoughts.
Kakashi shook in head, as he cleared his throat.
"Somewhere along the mission, I'd told everyone, what I'd told my team during their survival training. I told them that your comrades would always be more important than the mission. I told them that if they ever had a choice between the two, they should always choose the former."
Kakashi paused, watching Kurenai take it all in.
"Later, as we both were returning, she asked me if the same applied to a person's life itself. That if she had a choice between her duty to the village or protecting her loved ones, what should she choose?"
Kazue, Kurenai realized with dread, She meant Kazue.
Kakashi clenched his eyes shut when heard Kurenai suck in a breath, knowing what question was coming.
"What did you say to her?" She asked, afraid of the answer.
When she received none, she was infront of him in a flash, her hands fisted in his robes.
"Damn it, Kakashi! What did you say to her?!"
He averted his eyes from Kurenai's wild ones.
"I told her to always chose to protect her loved ones, no matter the circumstances. I told her that it didn't matter how other looked at her if she failed the mission, because in time, they would come to understand her choices."
Kakashi sighed, tiredly.
"In this case, it meant protecting Kazue, even if it meant that she would be a missing-nin. She did exactly what I told her to do. She didn't care what any of us would think, she just-"
Kakashi cut off, looking into his childhood friend's pained eyes. It gave him a realization.
One did not need to be in the wrong to cause pain.
He watched as Kurenai slowly let go of his robes, her breathing shaky as she dumbly stepped back.
His heart clenched.
"Gods, I'm sorry Kure. I didn't mean to-Fuck, I didn't think she would-"
"Don't."
"But-"
Kurenai looked up at him, eyes red hot with anger.
"I said don't. You've said enough, don't you think?"
He flinched at her sneer.
Kurenai stepped back more, her fists clenching, as she debated on whether she should punch Kakashi or not.
"Is this why you're supporting Hinata and Kazue?" Her tone was hot, accusing, "Because of the guilt?"
"At first, I was."
Kurenai shook her head, unbelieving. She swallowed.
"What changed?"
"I realised I owed it to him."
"Him? Kazue, you mean?"
Without thinking, Kakashi shook his head.
"Itachi. I owed it to Itachi, to keep his son safe. Especially after all he had done for the village."
Kakashi realised a second too late what he'd just said. He whipped his head towards Kurenai, eyes wide, trying to somehow take his words back.
But they had been said, and the damage had been done.
Kurenai narrowed her eyes at him, cracking her knuckles.
"Talk." Crack.
Kakashi gulped.
"Or I will make you."
THERE IT IS!! TODAY'S UPDATE!!
Anyway, so what do you guys think? Do you think Kakashi will tell Kurenai? Or will she forever be doomed to ignorance?
Hehe..
Ok, there are two things I'd like to address today.
Firstly, I've decided that I'll be answering your questions along with each chapter, instead of just waiting for them to pile up like last time.
So, here's our question for today.
Q: Why did Sasuke give Kazue, Uchiha clothes?
A: Well, the villagers already knew that Kazue was in some way related to Sasuke, so giving him those clothes didn't actually make much of a difference. Kazue already knew all about his clan, so he knew what would happen if he wore those clothes.
Sasuke and Kazue were Uchihas. And they were proud of it.
Plus, it was bound to happen sooner or later, so it's better that it happened sooner.
Secondly, for those who have been wondering about the pairings, I'd like to make one thing clear.
This is purely an Itahina fanfic, meaning there will be no other pairing regarding Hinata. There will be a few moments of one-sided Naruhina, but that is it. It's NOT going to be a pairing. Neither will Sasuhina, or any other.
So, if you are hoping that Hinata ends up with either of them, then you are bound to be disappointed.
I assure that everything will be clear one we finish the next few chapters.
Which reminds me...
WE ARE ONLY THREE CHAPTERS AWAY FROM THE FIRST ITACHI/HINATA MEETING!!!
I can't wait to get it all over with!!
Oh and the fact that Hinata will be paired up with no one else, it really does make one wonder.
Is Uchiha Itachi really dead?
Who knows...
XDXD.
-Your mysterious author.
