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Sirius freezes when he sees the look on his best friend's face. This is war, and that look only means one thing, and it hits Sirius like a shockwave without warning. "No," he whispers.

James opens his mouth then closes it again. Several seconds pass before he finally seems to find the words to say. "Sirius, I am so sorry."


Marlene is beautiful like this. Sirius can't help but grin as he watches his girlfriend's chocolate brown eyes narrow ever so slightly as her hand guides the paintbrush across the canvas, leaving a streak of sapphire in its wake.

"That," he says, stepping closer and tucking her dark hair behind her ear before pressing a soft kiss to her neck, "is extraordinary."

Marlene snorts. "Your inability to distinguish actual art from… whatever this is… is what's extraordinary," she tells him, turning and capturing his lips in a kiss.

"I think you are extraordinary."

Her eyes twinkle with amusement, and she steps back, returning her attention to the landscape she's been working on for the last half hour. "I'll let you win this time."

Sirius smirks, triumphant. "I always win."

"Pft. You keep thinking that."

"I have you, don't I?" he points out, and the sudden satisfied blush that paints her cheeks is exquisite.


"Padfoot?"

Sirius swallows dryly. There's a roaring in his ears, and he can't seem to shake it.

"Padfoot?"

It isn't the first time he's lost someone he cares about because of this bloody war, and yet it's easily the worst sort of pain, and he doesn't know what he's meant to do. One moment, everything was fine; now, the world seems to be crashing around him, and there's nothing he can do to keep from crumbling.

Strong hands grip his shoulders. Sirius blinks once,twice, and again. James is still there, holding him, somehow being strong for him.

"Tell me I'm wrong, Prongs."

"Oh, Sirius…"


"Sirius!" Marlene lets out a sound somewhere between a squeal and a giggle as Sirius jumps onto the bed. She shifts, trying to cover her face with her pillow, but Sirius pulls it away. "Piss off! I was having a nap."

He just grins, plopping down next to her. "I've been thinking, Mar," he says.

She groans and sinks back a little. "Oh boy. I smell trouble."

"Well, 'Trouble' is my middle name."

"Sirius…"

He shrugs and takes her by the hand. "I hate your last name. Absolutely terrible surname. What sort of name is that?"

She sits up now, dark brows raising, lips pursing. Clearly, she isn't amused by his antics. Maybe Sirius should have considered a different approach, but that's not his style.

"I guess it's now or never," he says with a laugh. "I am in love with you, Marlene."

Her expression softens, her lips twisting into a small smile. "I would certainly hope so," she says with a chuckle. "Otherwise this whole thing would be pretty awkward."

How is it possible for her to be so perfect? He knows he drives her insane more often than not, but she still keeps her humor about. She really is all he needs. A lover, a friend, everything in between. How could he ever let go of someone so precious, so valuable?

"Will you marry me?"

"You're drunk," she says, but her tone is too soft and confused for it to be a sincere accusation.

"Nope. Only intoxicated by you."

He studies her closely, watching even the most subtle changes in her expression. A moment passes, and he sees the realization finally dawn on her, however slowly. "Of course I'll marry you," she says, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him into a kiss.


"We were supposed to get married. Finally found someone to make an honest man of me," Sirius whispers.

"I'm so sorry," James says, helping him into his chair. "I'll put the kettle on."

It seems so silly. Who has tea when their world is falling apart? But Sirius doesn't refuse. He doesn't think he has the energy to protest at all.

Marlene is gone. For once in his life, Sirius finally found someone to understand him and love him so completely and without question. Now, that's been taken from him, and he doesn't know what to do with himself.

But he knows what he must do. No matter how much his heart is hurting, Marlene would want him to hold his head high and keep fighting. He's lost her in this life, but he can still carry her love in his heart.

For now, though, just for a moment, he will let himself rest and grieve. In the end, he knows he will have to fight.