Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. I'm just playing around with them.
BPOV
Change was hard.
Rolling to my side I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. My heart felt like it would run out of my chest if I didn't slow it down soon.
I wondered if I would ever get used to waking up and not finding Lucy right beside me. After always having her by my side for two years, adjusting to our new normal was taking a while.
Lucy was probably with Esme or Edward or in the bathroom. Safe, even if she wasn't beside me.
My heart slowed, and the tingles in my body finally went away as I continued breathing and reminding myself that everything was okay. We were both safe.
I couldn't stop my smile as it sunk in for yet another day. Sighing, I slowly stretched under the fluffy blanket on the bed. My bed. I'd had a bed at the old apartment but it was smaller and not as warm or comfortable as this one. It also wasn't in a house full of people who loved me and Lucy — the people who kept us safe and protected. Our . . . family.
I didn't know if I'd ever had a family before, but I wasn't sure any family could beat the Cullens. And even though I still felt like something bad could happen to them because of me, I wasn't leaving. Not again. I could barely leave the first time.
That night had been so cold and scary, and I'd turned around to start to go back every time I'd thought about Lucy and Edward. But then I'd remember why I left and start going again. Because I'd turned around so much, I couldn't remember where I was and had finally sat down just to rest for a few minutes. The next thing I'd known, a large person was picking me up, scaring me until I'd realized it was Emmett. Then I'd been sure I was dreaming because the Cullen family had to hate me after I left.
But it wasn't a dream and no one hated me. No one treated me any differently. If anything they were nicer. They loved me more. I didn't know how it was possible but with the Cullens it was.
Change was hard — and scary — but with my family, I could do it.
The sun was shining through the window onto my face, breaking me from my thinking and reminding me it was morning.
Today was Monday so it was a work day. Esme liked to leave the house at eight on work days, and I hoped I wasn't late.
Reaching over to the table beside my bed, I picked up the phone Carlisle and Esme had given me last week. It was the fanciest thing I'd ever owned and even though I still didn't know how everything worked, no matter how many times everyone tried to show me, I did know how to make the time show up. I hit the little round button at the bottom and thankfully it wasn't even seven yet.
There were also two messages on the screen under the time. I swiped across like Edward had showed me and started reading the first one. This one was from Edward, telling me he was working on a new project today and had already left for the day. I was a little disappointed I wouldn't get to ride with him to work like I did some days, but I replied with ok and one of the little yellow smiling faces Alice had showed me.
Just a couple seconds after I sent it, Edward replied with another yellow face, this one wearing sunglasses. I giggled as I held my phone to me and rolled to my other side.
Everyday Edward did things that made me and my heart smile. He was the best best friend I could ever ask for. It had only been a week since our date and when we'd said we liked each other as more than best friends, but it had been an amazing week. Edward was somehow different than when I'd first met him but still the same. It was a good different, and maybe I was different too. I didn't need to figure it out. I was just so happy.
My smile grew as I found my second message from Esme. It was a picture of Lucy making a silly face and under it Esme said Lucy was already dressed, they were downstairs making breakfast, and for me to join them when I got up.
As nice as my bed was, I couldn't wait to see them. I jumped up and went to the closet that was now full of clothes. Edward had said something about clothes just appearing in his closet from Alice, and I was pretty sure that was happening to me, too. Quickly looking through my choices, I grabbed a new soft dress I hadn't worn yet and a pair of leggings and headed to the bathroom.
I got ready for the day and hurried downstairs. Carlisle, Esme, and Lucy were all waiting in the kitchen, and Lucy ran over as soon as she saw me.
"Mama! Wake, Mama!" She held her arms up, and I lifted her to my hip and gave her a kiss.
"I am awake, baby. I missed you."
"Miss you! Food!"
Laughing, I carried her over to the table and set her in her booster seat. "Did you help Nona with breakfast?"
"She sure did," Esme replied with a chuckle. "We just reheated the breakfast burritos we froze last week, but she was a big help unwrapping them."
She brought the plate full of warm burritos over to the table, and we were all soon eating as Esme and Carlisle talked about their plans for the day. I listened some but mainly helped Lucy with her breakfast, but every so often Carlisle or Esme would ask for my opinion on something which always made me smile.
A lot made me smile in this house. Being loved and included was what I'd always wanted, and somehow my dreams true.
As soon as we were finished eating and the table was clear, Carlisle had to leave for work. He kissed Esme goodbye before hugging me and Lucy and placing a kiss on the top of our heads.
"I hope you ladies have a lovely day today," he said with a wink as he put on his coat. "Don't work too hard."
Esme rolled her eyes but smiled. "You too, dear. We'll see you this evening. Ready?" she asked me.
I nodded and went to help Lucy with her sweater. Once Esme grabbed her bag and I put my phone in my new little purse Alice had given me, we were on our way.
Soon, we had parked and Esme was carrying Lucy as we walked toward the front door of the building. Surprisingly, Edward was waiting outside the door, standing with his hands in his pockets. When he saw us, he smiled and waved, and I walked a little faster to get to him.
"Morning," he murmured as I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. I had just seen him last night but it felt like longer since we hadn't eaten breakfast together.
"Good morning. I missed you."
He hugged me back, just as tightly. "I missed you, too. But I have a surprise for you that I was working on this morning."
"Really?" I stepped back so I could see his face. He looked . . . nervous, maybe. "What is it?" I glanced over at Esme, but she didn't seem to know what was going on either.
"Come on. I'll show you."
Taking my hand, he led me inside and Esme and Lucy followed. Lucy talked to Edward the whole time, but I didn't know what she was saying because couldn't stop thinking about what the surprise could be.
Everything was the same as we walked past Gianna's desk, waving to her as we went. But when we got to the elevator, there was a brand new desk in place with Felix sitting behind it.
"What is this, Edward?" Esme asked in surprise.
"Well . . . I know Felix usually sits at the front door or over with Gianna, but I've been thinking and talking with Felix and we thought this might work better. People come and go a lot during the day, but this way he can pay more attention to anyone who might get on the elevator. I know Dad doesn't think anyone bad could find Bella, but I just thought this might make her feel a little safer." He shrugged and look down at me. "Is that okay?"
I nodded slightly. It was definitely okay, but I was a little too overwhelmed to say anything. Felix didn't really scare me anymore because Esme and Carlisle had explained that the police wouldn't hurt me like the bad people had said. Felix still made me nervous, but this morning he slowly walked toward us, and I didn't try to hide.
"I'll be sitting right here, Miss Bella," he said softly with a smile, pointing toward the new desk. "I think we'll all be just fine, but I'll do my very best to keep you and Miss Lucy safe. I promise."
"Oh, Felix." Esme came from behind me and gave him a hug. "Thank you so much." Lucy gave him a high-five, and then Esme moved to hug Edward." And Edward, this is. . . this is so thoughtful of you."
Edward shrugged, keeping his arm around me. "I promised to protect her and I will."
I definitely felt protected right now and thankful. I took a deep breath and slowly walked forward, trying to forget my left over fear as I gave Felix a hug.
Immediately, something familiar hit me as I leaned toward him. A smell. A smell that made me feel even safer. I remembered it from somewhere, but I didn't stop to try to figure it out. That would have to wait.
"Thank you," I whispered as I stepped back.
Felix wiped at his eyes quickly and his smile grew. "You are so welcome, sweetheart. You leave your worries right at this desk, all right?"
I walked back to Edward and he held my hand in his as we finally walked to the elevated and Lucy hit the six button.
"Is it really okay?" he asked me after the doors closed. "I would have told you but I was hoping it would be a good surprise."
I shifted closer to his side, placing my arms around him. "It's really okay," I promised. "Thank you so much, Edward. It was a very good surprise. You always make me feel safe."
He nodded. "Good."
"I had another memory."
"Really?" Esme asked, knowing what I was talking about. That's what she and Carlisle were calling all of the things that made my brain tickle. "Was it another smell or something else?"
"Smell," I agreed. "Something on Felix, I think."
"Oh, that's Old Spice," she said right away. "A men's cologne. I recognize it too because it's what my dad wears. Was it a nice memory this time?"
I'd had some good and bad memories like these since the first time with the cinnamon, but I was glad Esme and Carlisle had talked about them with me so they didn't scare me as much. I wasn't always new things that made me have memories. I had used cinnamon all the time when I had made pastries at the coffee shop, but sometimes different things made my brain and heart go fast like they were trying to tell me something. The cinnamon in the cookies had been nice and so had hearing some old country music that Jasper listened to one day. But hearing people fighting on the street and smelling the stuff they were smoking had scared me. This new smell had definitely been nice though.
"Nice," I said out loud. "Safe."
"Safe is very good," Esme agreed. "We'll tell Carlisle about it tonight."
I agreed and when the elevator stopped at our floor, we went to Esme's office. After another hug, Edward left us to go to his own office. We had just enough time to take off our sweaters before it was time to go to the large table room — which I now knew was called a board room — to have our morning meeting. I grabbed my notebook and Lucy and followed Esme down the hall.
Now that everything was more familiar to me, I loved this job. Esme was a very good boss, not just to me, but to everyone here. Everyone loved her and acted like they enjoyed coming here every day. I definitely did and was so proud of myself for learning everything I had. Not only did I do all the filling but I'd also started answering the phone last week. It scared me most of the time, but so far I'd been able to handle everything people had asked me with only some help from Esme.
I was especially excited today because last Friday I was the one who typed up Esme's list of things to talk about this morning.
After we walked into the boardroom, I set a copy of the list in front of every seat, and Esme smiled proudly. When they were all passed around, I took my seat with Lucy and waited for everyone else to come.
Edward was there first and sat in his seat beside me. Lucy crawled over to his lap right away so I didn't have a chance to talk to him, but he did hold my hand under the table which made my heart go fast. Emmett, Jasper, and Alice came next and they all hugged me or kissed the top of my head before sitting and everyone else who came in smiled and said good morning to me, too.
Maybe I could actually fit in here. Maybe I already did. That thought was exciting and scary.
Esme soon started the meeting, going over all of the list while everyone listened. Everyone had caught up from the blizzard but now that spring was here, some of the departments were getting busier so no one stayed to talk for long when the meeting was over.
Edward promised to have lunch with us before he went back to his office, and soon we were at our desks ready to start the day while Lucy played with her toys.
"Before we get too busy, I have something for you, dear," Esme said as she pulled something out of her bag and rolled her chair over to me. She set several books down on my desk, all of them saying something about GED on the front.
"What are these?" I asked curiously, flipping the top one open.
"These are practice workbooks," she explained. "Carlisle and I both know how smart you are even though you didn't have a chance to go to high school. You should have the opportunity to do anything you want with your life, and this is the start."
"GED?"
"It stands for General Educational Development and it's a test you take on different subjects and when you pass, you get a certificate that will be like you graduated from high school. You can get other jobs or go to college or do whatever you want to do.
"Not that I want you to go anywhere," she quickly assured me. "I'd love if you stayed here with me, but you deserve any and every opportunity you could possibly want, Bella. And we want you to have that."
"Oh." It was all so much to take in. But as I flipped through the first book, I saw so much I didn't know. I always felt so stupid because I hadn't been to school. I wasn't as smart as anyone in this family, but this could help. I could learn and take the test and finally be like them. I closed the book and looked up at Esme. "When would I have to take the test?"
Her face fell slightly and she took my hand, making me nervous. "Well, that's the thing, sweetheart. In order to sign you up for the test — which wouldn't be for quite a while — we have to have certain documents like your birth certificate and social security number. Even your last name."
I started shaking my head quickly, but she simply squeezed my hand and shushed me.
"I know, darling. You're not ready, and that's okay. We can wait as long as you need to. We're not going to push you at all. When you're ready to try, Carlisle and I will do everything we can to locate your parents and fill in the holes of your past. But until then, you can study the books at your own pace and we can all help you with them. Sound okay?"
Nodding, I leaned over to hug her. "That sounds good. Thank you, Esme."
"You are so welcome. Just remember. . . no one expects you to know anything in these books yet. You are not any less intelligent just because you might not know it all yet. I brought them here so we can maybe work on them in our free time. I can probably hold my own with reading, writing, and social studies, and Carlisle will be your science expert. And I know Edward will be more than happy to help you with the math section." She winked at me, making my face heat up.
"Okay. I'll ask him at lunch. Thank you again."
The phone rang before we could talk anymore, so I answered and we started out day. We worked steadily most of the morning, me scheduling appointments for the rest of the week and Esme working on designs for clients. We were able to work on a few questions in the beginning of the reading workbook in between, and I couldn't stop myself from being excited that I actually could understand most them.
I loved learning, and it made me remember when I read a lot of baby books when I was pregnant with Lucy. I mentioned it to Esme and she promised to take me to the library here this week to find more things to read.
I was so excited I couldn't stop smiling, and Edward looked confused as he came to get me for lunch. Lucy was napping, and Esme said she'd watch her so we could enjoy our lunch and that made me even happier. I loved spending time with Lucy but she wasn't good at sharing Edward and I couldn't wait to tell him all that we'd done today.
"What's got you so happy?" Edward asked as we headed down to the cafe. "Work going okay?"
I nodded and bit my lip, stepping closer to him as someone else got on the elevator, and he wrapped his arm around me without me even asking. "I answered the phone all morning without any help," I said softly. "And your mom gave me some workbooks."
"Workbooks? Like school work books?"
I waited until we were off the elevator and he had my hand in his as we walked toward the smell of food before I answered. "GED workbooks. Esme said if I take that test, it's like I went to high school."
"Ah. That's pretty cool," he agreed. "Did you start any yet?"
I told him about the reading questions I had answered and my plans to go to the library this week as we picked out our lunches. With our sandwiches and drinks on a tray, Edward led the way to a free table.
Once we were seated, we started eating and I told him about the other subjects and how I wasn't sure I'd be any good at them.
"You will be," he said confidently. "You know so much now and didn't you tell me the only things you had to read at . . . at that place were old magazines? You'll be fine."
He was right; I had read a lot of those weird magazines and could read pretty well, at least as far as I knew.
"Do you think you could maybe help me with the math?" I asked hesitantly. Esme had said he would, but I wanted to ask. The family made him do a lot of things without asking, and I didn't want to do that, too. I didn't have to be smart to know he didn't like that.
But thankfully, he nodded with a smile. "Sure. Of course I will. Math is one thing I know. If you bring the book home, we can look at it later. In between games or something."
I giggled because somehow I'd known we'd be watching more basketball games tonight. I didn't understand it, but it made Edward happy to watch and talk about it, and that was enough for me.
"When does Mom think you can take the test?"
Swallowing hard, I put down my sandwich and focused on my plate, moving a few chips around. "We have to know who I am before I can take it. I'm just . . . not yet." When I quickly looked back up, he just nodded.
"Okay. Then we don't have to rush or anything. More time for March Madness."
That made my smile come back. Edward was magic like that.
One day, I would let Esme and Carlisle find out what they could about my past. I wasn't ready yet, but when I was, I knew Edward would be right beside me. And I would be okay.
AN: I'm sure everyone probably gave up on me, but hi to anyone still around! I am alive and haven't abandoned anything, nor will I. I'm just a fail at balancing work and sleep with anything else. Hashtag night shift nurse struggles.
But lots of thanks to anyone still reading!
And all the love and thanks to the best, MelissaMargaret, for making this pretty and helping me try to keep my life together.
I hope you enjoy the chapter! There's more coming, I promise.
