word count: 1111
To say the least, Theo isn't supposed to be here. His eyes shift toward the name on his wrist, the name that's been there since birth. Pansy.
The way his father tells it, they had been delighted when, two month later, the Parkinsons announced the birth of their daughter, a girl named Pansy who was born with the word Theodore on her wrist. According to the universe, they are soulmates, two people who are, quite literally, meant to be.
When he was younger, Theo believed in that. After all, if his parents told him it was the way the world worked, who was he to argue? It worked for them, and his grandparents, and generation after generation of Notts. The only ones who seemed to steer away from it are blood traitors, and Theo knows they aren't supposed to listen to those types.
But now that he's older, he wonders if it means anything at all. It isn't Pansy he's sneaking off to a Muggle inn to meet. It isn't Pansy who kisses him in a way that makes him feel more alive than anything else has. In fact, the girl whose name he wears on his wrist is little more than just a friend, if that.
He mutters a quick word of thanks to the innkeeper as he takes his key, ducking his head and keeping to the shadow. It isn't like he's worried about being seen here. After all, no self-respecting Pureblood would be in such a place. And yet, he is here, so it's not like it's something completely impossible.
He finds the room at the end of the hall, hand trembling with excitement as he slides the key into the hole and turns. The room is dark when he opens the door, except for the light of a single candle which illuminates Blaise's face.
Blaise looks up, grinning. "I was beginning to worry you weren't going to make it," he says, and there's the faintest hint of a pout in his tone, which makes Theo snort. "You're late!"
Theo rolls his eyes. "Or maybe you're just early," he points out.
Blaise gives him a look, and it's enough to make Theo melt on the spot. He doesn't know how Blaise does it. It's like his very own brand of magic, a magic that no one else can touch.
"You're staring."
Theo just offers him a smile and moves closer, pulling Blaise to his feet and wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "I was just thinking," he whispers, kissing Blaise softly on the lips. "We've come a long way."
And they have. It has taken them five years to embrace their love, to decide that the names on their wrists, Pansy and Tracey, cannot and will not define how they live their lives. Theo remembers all the times he thought he would break, all the times he cursed the universe for being so cruel. How could he be destined to love Pansy when he doesn't love women the way he's meant to, the way men are supposed to, according to his parents? How is he supposed to be happy when he has no choice but to hide his true self away and pretend to be someone he's not?
But, against all odds, they've found a way. From secret meetings and stolen promises, longing glances and secret touches. Theo has to believe that love will always find a way. Maybe the pressure from his parents is too much, and he finds himself suffocating, but when he's with Blaise, it barely matters at all.
This is where he's meant to be. The universe and the fates don't know what they're doing, and they will not decide what he makes of his life.
"Have you thought about what I asked you?" Theo asks, brushing his thumb lightly over Blaise's knuckles, just a barely-there, feather's caress.
"I have."
Theo shivers with anticipation. He clears his throat, trying not to seem too eager. "And?"
Blaise takes a deep breath and looks up at Theo, his dark eyes soft. "Do you really think we can do it?"
Theo nods. He's given it a lot of thought. If they stay here, they will have no choice but to follow their families' wishes. Theo has seen what happens to those who go against the grain and refuse to do what is expected of them. The lucky ones are thrown out without a Knut to their name. Those who aren't as lucky…
He shudders. His parents have told the story of some great-great-great aunt on the Rosier side who told her parents she would marry a Muggle man. She was not so lucky. The way his mother tells it, the great-great-great aunt found herself poisoned. Purebloods, at least those from a good family, don't have the luxury of thinking for themselves.
But he really believes he and Blaise can make it. Both have enough gold saved up. Theo knows a nice little village in France they could stay at, a place no one would ever think to look. Sometimes it seems impossible, but Theo still wants to believe in the impossible. Maybe he's some silly little optimistic dreamer, an absolute fool of a man for thinking he can fight destiny.
But he will. For Blaise, he will do whatever it takes.
Blaise wraps his arms around Theo, holding him closer. Theo breathes in deeply, savoring the moment. These are the moments he lives for, the moments that bring him happiness like nothing else ever could. How can he give this up? How can he do what is expected of him and marry Pansy? The thought of giving up his own happiness just to satisfy the universe makes him sick.
"What about our soulmates?" Blaise asks.
"Doesn't matter. You are more my soul than anything else in this world. How could anyone ever measure up?"
Pansy could never be what he needs or wants. She could try her best and do everything right, but Theo knows the pieces could never fit. His soul calls out for Blaise, and only Blaise. He doesn't want someone else. No one else can ever love him the way this man does.
"I'm scared," Blaise tells him.
Theo laughs. "Me too," he admits. "But I know we can do it."
A moment of silence passes before Blaise finally nods. "I think I'm ready."
Theo looks at Pansy's name once again, guilt souring his stomach. It will be okay. Somehow, they will all find a way through this. He has already found his happy ending and the one he knows he's meant to be with. He can only hope Pansy can do the same.
