For my darling Bex.
Warnings: death, torture, some verbal abuse
Word count: 2021
I.
Regulus is still caught somewhere between waking and dreaming when he feels the sudden pressure and the dip of the mattress. Rabastan has always been more of a morning person than him, but it is somehow even more annoying today. "Fuck off," Regulus groans, rolling onto his side and facing away from his boyfriend.
He hears Rabastan let out an amused snort, then he feels his boyfriend's slender fingers curl around his shoulder, rolling him onto his back. "Wake up, Reggie!"
His tone is enough to shake away the last bit of sleepiness. Something's happened. He doesn't know what, but with that tone… Regulus sits up, stretching until he hears the soft crack in his spine. "What's going on?" he asks, yawning and rubbing his eyes.
Rabastan's face comes into focus, and he's grinning like a madman. "We did it, Reggie," he says, pulling Regulus close and pressing a rough kiss to his lips. "We won."
It takes a moment for Regulus to understand. He pulls away, staring at Rabastan, the pieces slowly falling into place. "The Potters?"
"Dead. All of them."
The news should thrill him. Isn't that part of being a Death Eater? He's meant to rejoice at the idea of his master being victorious, whatever the cost.
But something about this makes his stomach twist into knots. It isn't right. The Potter boy was just a baby. Can he really be excited about such a cruel fate? But he's supposed to be; he knows that it is what's expected of him.
So he forces his lips into a smile that he hopes looks genuine. "This is excellent news!" he says, clapping his hands together.
"We should celebrate," Rabastan agrees.
And with that, they sink into the mattress, a tangle of limbs and sheets. Regulus should enjoy it. Any other time, he would have enjoyed it. But now, in that moment, his mind is a frenzy, and all he can do is wonder if he's made the right choice.
II.
Finding his brother isn't easy. Most members of the Order of the Phoenix have gone underground, and for good reason. In the week since the Potters' deaths, bounties have been placed on countless heads. Regulus had been more than a little surprised to see Severus Snape executed as a traitor, but he didn't ask questions. After all, he's been having traitorous thoughts too, so who is he to judge?
Still, Regulus can always find a way to find Sirius. However their paths may split and splinter, they will always find a way back to each other.
He isn't surprised to find a wand angrily pointed at his chest. Even Remus Lupin, who Regulus thinks has always been the calm, reasonable one, doesn't try to dissuade Sirius from violence. Regulus almost laughs. Maybe he deserves this. His sins are many, and he has earned whatever retribution Sirius sees fit. All he can do is exhale and hang his head, showing he has accepted his fate.
"You've got a lot of nerve showing up here," Sirius growls.
"I know." Regulus closes his eyes. "I'm sorry."
Remus snorts, but he doesn't say anything, just keeps looking on in cold silence. These aren't the Remus and Sirius he remembers from school. There are no smiles and laughter in their voices, and their expressions are so tense. If Regulus is honest, it breaks his heart. This war really has left its mark on everyone.
"What do you want?" Sirius demands.
Regulus swallows dryly. How can he even begin to explain? He thinks back to the Dark Lord and Kreacher, the tale his beloved house-elf told him, his plans to put an end to things. He should have done it. He'd spent hours carefully crafting his next move, only to prove himself to be a coward in the end.
If he had returned to the cave, could he have prevented this? The Potters' blood is on his hands, and there's no way to ever absolve himself.
This won't erase the things he's done, but maybe he can help make things right, if only slightly.
And so he talks. He tells them everything he knows, each and every detail. What can they do with the information? What can possibly change? Regulus wants to believe that things can be reversed, but his heart really isn't in it. He has never felt more hopeless than he does now, spilling his heart to two men who undoubtedly hate him more than anyone else in existence.
"How do we know you aren't lying?" Remus asks, his tone sharp, eyes narrowing dangerously.
Regulus fixes his gaze on his brother. Maybe things have changed between them, but they've been through so much together. Surely Sirius can look him in the eyes and see the sincerity there. "Sirius," he whispers. "Sirius, please."
Sirius takes a deep breath and lets out a heavy exhale. "Let's get him to Albus."
III.
"Something's bothering you," Rabastan notes, brows knitting together.
Regulus hates how obvious it is. He's never been a very good liar; his father always scolded him for it, saying, "Your guilt is written all over your face. How do you expect to get ahead if you're so bloody honest, boy?"
Still, he shakes his head, scraping his fork against his plate. "I'm fine."
"Bullshit. You're holding back," Rabastan says.
Of course he is. How can he not? Regulus is not cut out to be a double agent. He wonders how Peter did it so easily, how he managed to lie to everyone he claimed to care about. It's been nearly a month of sneaking around, barrely earning his brother's trust, helping Dumbledore wherever he can. The deception is eating him alive, and he feels like he might throw up if he has to keep it up any longer.
"Do you ever think that maybe we picked the wrong side?" he asks, his words coming out in a trembling whisper.
It's a dangerous question to ask anyone, especially someone so close to Bellatrix, someone who has been so loyal to the cause. Regulus decides that if anything goes wrong, he can always Obliviate his boyfriend and pretend that the night never happened.
It can't go wrong, he thinks. Surely Rabastan loves him enough. Maybe he's had those same doubts. Maybe, even if he hasn't, he will listen to Regulus and reconsider. If he can sway anyone, of course it would be Rabastan.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I know things. I've seen things…"
Regulus takes a deep breath. How much can he trust his boyfriend? He wants to believe he can trust him with anything. Isn't that what love is? Shouldn't he be able to spill his soul and know his boyfriend will love him still?
Maybe he's foolish and a little too trusting, but he has to take the chance. He tells Rabastan everything.
When he's done, there is only silence, except for the sound of Rabastan's fork clattering against his plate. Regulus feels his heart pound painfully in his chest as he waits. Surely everything is okay. Rabastan just has to process it all, and then he'll understand how dangerous the Dark Lord is, and how Regulus had no choice but to turn to his brother for help.
Instead, Rabastan slams his fists against the table furiously. "You idiot! You fucking idiot!" he snarls, jumping to his feet and closing the distance between them in a few quick strides. "What the hell were you thinking?"
Regulus reaches for his wand. One spell, and all of this will go away. It'll be like it never happened.
Rabastan is faster. "Stupefy!"
IV.
Regulus wakes with a groan. It takes several moments for him to realize he isn't in his bed, nor is he alone. Unfortunately, it isn't just Rabastan that's in the room with him.
The Dark Lord, Bellatrix, Rabastan and his brother, Lucius Malfoy, the Carrows, and a sea of other familiar faces surround him. Regulus shudders. His eyes flicker to Rabastan who only offers him a smile that's almost apologetic.
"It seems we have a traitor in our midst," the Dark Lord says, circling Regulus; the Death Eaters jeer and taunt Regulus, laughing cruelly. "Stupid, boy. Did you learn nothing from Severus' betrayal? What do you think happens to those who cross me?"
"It isn't right," Regulus whispers. "What you're doing… What you've done…"
"Silence!" Bellatrix shrieks, drawing her wand and taking aim. "Crucio!"
In the back of his mind, even as the pain takes hold, Regulus almost expects the Dark Lord to scold her for acting without permission. Even his most faithful servant has to follow orders. His limbs twist and contort, and every nerve feels like it's being ripped apart. Still, the Dark Lord says nothing and simply allows it to continue without intervention.
"Crucio!" Bellatrix says again and again, and Regulus is afraid he cannot take it anymore.
He doesn't know how long passes, only that it's a pain beyond anything he's ever felt before. Finally, the order comes. "That's enough, Bella."
The pain doesn't end immediately. Regulus' body continues to spasm and shudder, his nerves still ablaze with the aftershocks. He's a mess on the ground, sobbing and trembling, and silently praying for death.
Somehow, he doesn't regret it. Let them see how the Dark Lord will so easily make them suffer. Let them know that no one is safe, regardless of how pure their blood is. At least he has helped Sirius. The Potters' blood is still on his hands, but maybe this is the tiniest step to absolution.
"Take him away," the Dark Lord instructs. "I will decide what to do with him soon."
V.
Regulus doesn't know how long he's locked away, left alone with no company except his thoughts. He wonders if this is what Azkaban is like, except there are no Dementors here. Would those monsters be welcome? Would they ease his loneliness? He's almost completely desperate for someone, anyone, beyond the occasional hand that appears to leave food and water whenever someone just happens to feel merciful.
The door opens, and his heart leaps whenever he sees Rabastan there. Despite his betrayal, he still loves Rabastan.
"Reggie…"
"It's okay. You did what you thought was right." Regulus feels a faint flutter of hope as he speaks.
Is this it? Is the Rabastan's change of heart? Maybe he hadn't been so naive after all. Rabastan will get him out, and they'll be able to find Dumbledore, and everything will be okay. Dumbledore will protect them, and after everything Regulus has done, they'll undoubtedly be welcomed with open arms.
"Rabastan? What's wrong?"
"I'm sorry, Reggie. I really am. The Dark Lord thinks I might have been compromised because of you."
Regulus shakes his head. "Compromised?" he echoes, brows knitting together as he tries to understand. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"If you aren't loyal to the cause, how can they know that I am?" Rabastan explains. "I have to prove my loyalty."
Those words seem to slam into him, knocking the breath out of him. He knows how twisted the Dark Lord is. He isn't quite as sadistic as Bellatrix, but he loves to make people suffer so that they can serve as an example to others. He can easily imagine what sort of thing Rabastan has been tasked with.
"You don't have to do this," Regulus whispers. "Whatever he's asked of you… Please, Rabastan…"
"I'm sorry. You don't understand. He'll kill Rodolphus if I don't do this."
Regulus opens his mouth but quickly closes it again. Maybe he understands. If Sirius' life was threatened, he thinks he would gladly do whatever he needed to keep his brother safe, even before their reconciliation.
"I love you," Rabastan says. "I didn't… I thought maybe the Dark Lord would just torture some sense into you or put you under the Imperius Curse to keep you loyal. I never… I never wanted you to get hurt. Not like this."
Regulus swallows dryly and holds his head high. "Do what you have to," he says quietly.
Rabastan's hand trembles as he aims his wand. "Avada Kedavra!"
