Shisui and Sakura are strangers and not quite. Since this war started, they met on the fighting field a couple of times and exchanged a few words in the medical tent but nothing other than that. Someone like him does not come for healing but for visiting friends or colleagues. Shisui has always been well known for his abilities and Sakura heard about him even when they were in Konoha but they never worked together before. The level of missions he took were out of her league. He was something like a deity – you hear of them but never see them. Also, being family to Sasuke, she heard once or twice from her teammate stories about the great shinobi Uchiha Shisui. But that was all. She had doubts of how strong he could be but once seeing him, she knew he was no joke. Sakura really appreciates that someone like him is ally and not enemy. That is available for most of the people she knows that have terrifying powers: Naruto, Sasuke, Kakashi-sensei, Itachi-senpai and so on. Even people smart like Shikamaru scare her. Yet, despite the good things about Shisui, she doesn't really like him. Maybe it is because Sasuke is the way he is and she made a general opinion about the whole clan. On top of that she hates his abilities and resents him for hardly getting wounded during a fight while she barely makes it through.
Tonight is her lucky night: she is to watch the eastern part of the camp together with Shisui. She bowed her head in respect when they met, something which surprised him, and after that she kept her back at him and stared towards the forest. She was still upset because of what happened yesterday but even if she wanted to speak there is nothing worth mentioning. Not worth speaking about what happened during her last mission: people died, she witnessed men stepping on explosive tags and losing legs or dying on the spot, she healed a few people, killed others or she watched Naruto getting all badass. Nothing Shisui hadn't seen before. The worst thing about war is that there are no more subjects to speak of when making new acquaintances.
The sky is clear and bright, much like the one she used to stare at during her days in Konoha. It would be a quiet night if it were not for the explosions coming from the battle ground. The air is trembling with cold and warm waves. The smell in the air is making her nostrils sting: a combination of smoke and iron. The smell is so strong that she can almost taste it.
"Still mad about the kick?" Shisui broke the silence seeing she was ignoring him. He occasionally looked in her direction, curios if she was really guarding or simply staring in abyss.
Shisui cannot take his eyes off her. He likes seeing her eye color becoming brighter when she looks towards the sky, the image of the stars nicely reflecting in her glassy eyes. He saw hope in her green eyes and that lifted some weight from his shoulders. Shisui wants to hear her voice and it would be nice to have one person less to hate him. How can anyone be so mad because of an accident like that?
"When we left Konoha we were expected to despise our enemies no matter what. Nothing is forgivable now," she said not even looking at him. Her answer was cold and straight forward, but she said the truth. Yondaime told them to leave their feelings in their homes and walk ahead with straight backs and no fear in their hearts. They must be emotionless and fight with honor for their village. From Sakura's perspective, he said a lot of crap that he later broke, but Sakura kept her feelings to herself. They were children when they were sent to fight but when people even younger than them have to fight, it is clear that the direction they are going in is not the right one.
Nobody told her to leave her nakama to die but she learned she cannot save everyone, and she learned that the hard way. The first month was most difficult: she cried a lot and regretted her weaknesses but later she embraced a new idea, everyone must be strong and self-sufficient. If they are weak and get serious wounds, then she cannot do much for them. Being an active fighter is drenching her chakra and she cannot fight and heal at the same time. She still has a long way to go until she can reach Tsunade's level. In the beginning, she apologized to everyone for not being able to do more than bandage them but later on she realized it was only normal, she is only one person after all. Some of those severely wounded did not make it and died on their way back home and her tears did not bring them back. Her tears dried up three months ago and they will not pour again.
Shisui knows that feeling very well. He was also told to hate all shinobi who do not wear the leaf symbol and kill them without hesitation. Never heard the reason why the war started but he could guess someone wounded their daimyo's pride. Why else would a war start over the night? He never took a step back from killing others so for him this resembles more or less his usual missions. Only that this is a very long mission. "I know what you mean." Everyone can relate to Sakura's feelings. He was confused when the war started and will be confused when it ends. IF, it ends. Shisui sat next to her on the grass and started arranging his kunai holster in a more comfortable position. His elbow bumped her arm by mistake, catching her attention for the first time for the night. "Sorry," he apologized right away, their eyes meeting for a short while. He remembered right away how sensitive she gets when he touches her.
Sakura nodded and turned her head back to the forest. She is bothered he sits so close to her but she does not want to push him away from her. Part of her wants to tell him off but the other part of her is grateful to feel a warm touch. She looked from the corner of her eye at his hands as he bandaged back his leg so his weapon holster is secured. His fingers are long and they move with grace. She bit her lips and looked away, embarrassed for staring for so long at him.
"I envy you," she whispered hearing something in the nearby bushes. Hand reaching the kunai holster, she patiently waited for the enemy to show. When she realized it was only a dirty rat, she relaxed her hand over her thigh and looked back at the sky. She panicked for nothing and wasted precious energy. The ground is vibrating under them making it unreliable for feeling movement.
Shisui eyed her and waited for her reason of envy but understanding that she had little intentions of continuing, he felt the need to question her statement. "Why?"
Sakura shrugged her shoulders, "You got to live longer than me. Don't get me wrong," she cut him off when he was about to come up with a sort of answer, "I do not mind dying. But I want to see how I would be in my 20s." Will she be taller? Will she be a better kunoichi than Tsunade? What kind of woman will she be?
"You are no dead." Yet, he mentally thought but did not have the guts to verbalize it.
"Yet," she stated in his place. "I don't fear death."
Many thoughts went through his head but decided not to voice anything. "You are a strange one." Everyone is scared of dying. It might be liberating to die but one can never know the pain before the final breath. He does not want to think about death as he is superstitious.
"Really?" she asked amused. They remained in silence, each of them properly doing their job. They watched the surroundings with great care, no grass movement being missed. None of them left their spots, enjoying the warmth of the other. Even Sakura who does not like Shisui very much finds his presence comforting. The night grew chiller, making them both move closer to the other until their shoulders touched.
Shisui found himself staring at her again, noticing how she pulled her knees to her chest and folded her arms around them to keep warm. "A kid with a soft heart like yours shouldn't be here," he said noticing the bruises on her neck.
"What do you know about my heart?" she asked offended by his words. Here she thought she could stay like this with him and now he angers her again. She is not soft as she used to be. Now she is a tough, emotionless woman who can make up her mind fast and kill without blinking.
Shisui kept the silence knowing he got her right. He can tell that she is having nightmares from everything that she'd seen and she cannot properly rest at the night fearing that she might die. So yes, she fears death but she wishes her pain would stop. She needs help but who has time to worry about a sick mind?
There is no more sound, as if the war itself died. It feels strange to be in a peaceful environment. She cannot relax when there is nothing to concentrate her senses on. Sakura clenched her fists, her heart beating faster. Why is there no sound? She glanced at him to see if he is on guard but noticing he is relaxed, she sighed and relaxed as well. "You bet I can guess your character as well?" she asked feeling the need to tell him her opinion as well. He did not guess her character but simply stated what he thinks of her and that is annoying. In this case, she can do just the same.
"Enlighten me."
"Mainly an asshole who believes his clan and status are far superior to most," she said not bothering herself with his status and age. Although she knows she must remain formal towards him, he looks like a guy who wouldn't mind her skipping the formalities.
Sishui indeed didn't mind her words and even smiled hearing her opinion of him. "Are we speaking about Sasuke here?" he asked out of curiosity. The description fits his cousin like a glove.
"Was I wrong?" She learned how to read people after she arrived there. He was right to state that it mainly applies to Sasuke, but if she had to describe him she would say much worse words. A love she once thought to be pure turned out to be nothing but nourishment for Sasuke's pride. She watched him making woman after woman fall for him just so he could sleep with them. Back in the village she could ignore the rumors of his habits but here she witnessed him in action and can no longer deny it: he is an animal.
"My clan is superior to most so pride has nothing to do with it." It is a fact and he is proud of it. Many think that Uchihas are nothing but proud and arrogant but with a clan as powerful and numerous as theirs, anyone would be proud.
She was forced to portray a smile. Finding that a sign of weakness, she suddenly got up and walked a few steps away from him. It is bad enough he sees her a child, the last thing she wants is to show him her weaknesses. "See, an asshole." She does not understand the pride to be part of an old clan with its own traditions and abilities but that does not mean that the rest are weak and useless.
Shisui also got up and together they walked back to the camp, each of them contemplating about what they talked. None of them seems to agree that the other guessed right. On their way back, they walked pass their replacements, two lazy men with no interest to guard for the night. Guess she will be up tonight, worrying if suna nin managed to get pass them. Shisui nodded to the men as a salute but with a serious face. The men understood and sobered up within seconds, walking ahead with confidence. If something bad happens, Shisui-taichou knows who to go to.
Sakura stopped in front of her ridge tent and looked at it with resent. It is dirty, low and crowded. A tent only big enough to fit one person and a few things like some clothes and a bar of soap.
Catching up with her, Shisui did not miss her expression as she stared at her tent with disgust. He agrees that the tent is far from a decent home but at least it keeps the rain out. Sakura clicked her tongue in irritation as she was about to bent and get inside but was stopped by Shisui as he cupped her fists, bowing only low enough for his lips to reach her ear. There is one thing he wants to tell her, to let her know that she was right about him. "You got one thing right," he whispered as he looked down her pale neck, "I am an asshole," he finished kissing her earlobe. All he wanted was to agree with half of her statement but somehow they ended up like that. He is an asshole and his clan has nothing to do with it.
There is something about Sakura that makes him do things he does not want to. Maybe the sensation of her back over his chest excited him, making him unable to control his actions and kiss her. Anyway, it has been a while since someone managed to excite him like this. Parts of his body which he believed to be in a deep slumber are now waking up, raising for her.
The kiss made her blush in embarrassment and anger. She sized their hands, slightly bothered by the sudden closeness. His palms are rough and have small cuts that scratch her skin in an unpleasant way. The touch is annoying. Infuriating. "I wouldn't have guessed," she snorted clearly bothered.
Shisui bit his lips. He found the courage to intrude her personal space but not to continue the conversation. Although he knows it is wrong, there is something about this girl that turns him on. She is not exactly a beauty, at least not in his eyes, but the words she said earlier bear so much truth that she caught his attention. If before he was indifferent, now he sees her in a slightly different light. He wouldn't call this the beginning of love nor would he think of it to last more than a few days, but she managed to turn him on and it would be a pity to ignore his awakened desires. The problem is that the little mini Tsunade is unpredictable and he does not want to get a blow in his face. If he suddenly steps back he feels like she will react worse than if he continues. Shisui rested his cheek over her head, eyes looking over her cleavage and down to their hands. Her fingers are skinny, but her skin is smooth and pleasant at touch. It's been a while since the last time he touched a woman and the sudden urge he feels is almost making his lower abdomen hurt. "We could end this night in a more pleasant way," he whispered trying to sound convincing but his voice was a little shaky. He has no confidence she will accept him.
Sakura's eyes got big when she realized what he was referring to. She looked at her tent with lips partially open, playing his words in her head over and over again. How can he ask her something like that without shame? Feeling his hips pressed against her rear, she turned her head to glare at him. "Hey," she threatened making him take one small step back.
Feeling like he could get a positive answer from her, he gathered courage to touch her again. He reached her pink hair, slowly gathering it in one messy ponytail which he held in one fist. Strands of pink locks wrapped around his fingers as a defense mechanism. Shisui carefully pulled her hair without provoking her pain until she lost balance and fell over his chest, regaining their initial position. A moan nearly left his lips when he felt her weight over his groin but he tried his best to look unaffected.
"This is the only thing they cannot take away from us," he whispered close to her ear.
His actions took her by surprise. She never thought that someone other than Sasuke could be so bold and shameless. Her mind tells her to punch him away but something inside her is keeping her lips pressed together. He is right, they cannot take pleasure away from them but sleeping with a stranger is not the best way either. She hates him. He is old and bold that it pisses her off.
Shisui bit her earlobe, making her legs give in. She leaned powerless over his chest, heart beating fast at the realization that he is manipulating her. She cannot fight him in any way. He is an asshole, but he is good. Shisui wrapped his hands around her middle, pressing her harder over his body. She lost.
Friday morning was marked by a rainstorm that started in the middle of the night. When team 7 and team 8 were sent together with several other shinobi back to the front, everyone was prepared to die caught in mud and with slaughtered throats. Nobody questioned the orders given with so much wisdom. They took their weapons and, on their way out of the camp they received the leftovers of that week: dry bread and some chicken. At least they received something and although not enough to keep them full for more than two days they will fill their bellies with gratitude for still being alive.
Ino walked next to Sakura, silently enjoying the company. Who knows which of them will not be back? The girl can tell Sakura is a little bit off but does not feel like she cares enough to ask. Months ago, she would have asked but today she has no energy to worry about other people. Sakura will be alright. As soon as they reach the front, nothing else will keep their minds busy. They will only struggle to survive and somehow come back in one piece. By then, no worries will be remembered.
On the other side, Sakura is not really in need of someone to listen to her problems and she does not even want to share. She is thorn between regret and acceptance. Surprisingly, sleeping with Shisui did not bring the pleasure she was hoping for and somehow she feels like she did another thing in vain. But she tries her best to think as less as possible about that because soon they will reach the front with its rats and rotten bodies, bodies which have been left there since the first day of war. She will act like a rat herself, hiding and trying to survive. She has to leave that memory die because otherwise she will only get distracted.
The front is quiet. Sakura and two other shinobi are hiding behind a mountain of dead bodies and silently wait for the enemy to strike. There is no sound but they can feel the presence of the enemy getting closer. Despite knowing she might die if she loses her concentration, all she can think about is how she managed to lose the only thing which was still good about her. And yet, she cannot condemn Shisui because she agreed although she could've pushed him away. She even helped him take off his clothes so she could feel him. He managed to seduce her.
Lost in the memories of last night, she casually relaxed her back over the dead bodies and visualized the scene. Shisui shamelessly asked her to sleep with him and she accepted although knowing it was not right. Her tent was crowded, occasionally shaking as their movements hit the walls but that did not bother them. They were caught in the action, exploring their bodies and hungrily kissing for more.
Deep inside, both of them felt miserable and shameful but none of them could stop it anymore. They took advantage of the night which kept them in darkness and hid the misery portrayed in their eyes. None of them was happy about the situation but none could stop it. All they wanted was to finally feel good and release their stress.
A hit blew up the pile of dead bodies, pulling Sakura back from her memories. The sudden smell nearly made Sakura and the others faint but they covered their noses with their palms and jumped out in plain sight just to get away from the smell. Pieces of rotten flesh fell around her and in her hair, bringing back the smell she tried to escape.
A sudden earthquake broke the ground to pieces. Someone stepped on an explosive tag, the ground breaking beneath their feed. Sakura fell like a rock in the hole, back hitting the earth as she landed. Green eyes caught the beautiful bright blue sky, making her notice that the rain stopped. Once, she used to spend her days simply watching the sky and now she barely notices it. She heard another blow coming from above, screams shortly following it. People were forced down in another hole with traps. They got seriously wounded but none died. The call of duty forced her to jump out and search for the wounded.
The day is over with many wounded shinobi on their side. The fight is still going on but they lost around 20 people today. The enemy is strongly pushing them back and if they do not come up with something they will start fighting inside their camp.
Naruto and a few others are hiding inside a hole, waiting for their captain to come up with a new plan.
"Man…I would do anything for ramen," Naruto cried hearing his stomach. He covered his belly with his hand palms and looked down with spinning eyes.
"Can you beat them all so we can go home?" Shikamaru asked feeling dizzy. He is hungry as well and the food he has must not be eaten all at once.
"Do you have a plan?" Naruto curiously asked.
A plan? He has lice and an empty stomach. Shikamaru has scratched his scalp so much that it stings even when air blows through his hair. There are no conditions for him to properly sit and think. Plus, he is not the one giving orders there. "I hate war," he hissed scratching his head.
"Get in line," Sasuke mumbled.
"These damn rats are everywhere," Ino cried kicking one away. The rats are just as hungry as they are and since they cannot get to their food, they try to eat people alive. She got used to the idea of being surrounded by rats but their bites hurt.
They were useless enough to need reinforcement from other teams. The enemy kicked their asses for a few days before new teams were sent to help. The teams, fresh in power and with stuffed bellies were stronger, better than them and managed to push the enemy back in only one day. On the others side, Naruto and the others were envious of the new teams. While they were out, other people got well fed. They will complain about that when they get back at the camp.
Sasuke and Kakashi gathered strength to fight as well, refusing to be saved while doing nothing. Shortly afterwards Naruto jumped ahead as well, leaving Sakura and Shikamaru relaxing on the ground. None of them had the power or will to get up and fight so they watched from behind the suna getting their asses kicked. It was like a nice movie, Naruto using his kyubi powers and the Uchihas summoning their susanoos.
On their way back, Sakura scratched her head, dirt falling out as she did. A bath would mean a lot but she will be needed at the medical tent as soon as they are back. There will be no time for her to properly wash and eat.
"That sucked, huh?" Shisui spoke catching up with her. Sakura did not look at him, eyes fixing the image ahead. How could she look at him? She slept with a stranger whom she hated, losing the last bit of pride she had.
That night, after they did it, he said nothing. He dressed and left without a word. He was aware she was not asleep, green eyes watching his movements until he walked out. Their eyes locked a few times but only for split seconds. They were ashamed. One thing was clear for both of them, it had been a bad idea, but it was not the first or last one. Sakura knew it was sex with no strings attached but she hoped he would say something before leaving her there. He didn't.
Shisui waited for her to say something back or at least look at him but seeing that she had no intentions of recognizing his presence there, he sped up and left her behind. That was a very awkward meeting and he feels stupid for even trying. He regrets waiting like a loser for her to say something. He is fully aware she hates him for leaving that night but he felt embarrassed and he just wanted to get out of there. Shisui does not deny she felt just the same but that was her tent, he could not just stay there and wait for her to leave. They will shortly be over that night and over this meeting as there are more important things to worry about. But until then…
Sakura watched Shisui walk away without saying a word. Again. But he can walk away for all she cares. There is nothing between them and there never will be. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in a puddle: dirty hair and face, tired eyes and cracked lips. When was the last time she was pretty? If she travels her fingers through her hair, she will not be able to take them out. Realizing that even in her state he got excited, Sakura searched for Shisui in the crowd. She should have said something and keep him there but once again her anger and pride acted before her judgement. This is what she can do: watch his back.
