Chapter 37: Lion's Roar
Belvedere Villa, Prosecco, Trieste, Italy
December 26, 1986
Leonis was nervous about seeing his father again. It had been almost two months since he had received the Howler from Sirius, and he had not received a single letter since then. After the incident at Malfoy Manor, his Aunt Cassie refused to allow him to visit Sirius. Leonis had been grateful at the time. He had needed time to think. His instinct when hurt was not to rush forward and confront the one that hurt him. Instead, it was to hide himself away and lick his wounds. Cassie's edict that he not visit Sirius had allowed him time to lick his wounds and to stew over his hurt emotions.
Now it was time to face his father. Lord Black had insisted that he spend Boxing Day through to the New Year with Sirius in Italy. He couldn't hide any longer. There was no other choice but to obey Lord Black.
He held tightly to the bag that Kryn had packed for his stay in Belvedere, and sighed unhappily before he allowed his hand to close over the jeweled pendant that was his portkey to his father's villa. His eyes met that of his Aunt for a moment and he wanted to reassure her that everything would be fine, but he bring himself to do it. He was too full of nervous dread about spending time with Sirius.
"Sirius Major," he called out in a clear voice and then he felt the pull of the portkey. He closed his eyes as he was literally pulled through time and space to Italy.
"Well, aren't you adorable?" a feminine voice cooed. "Sirius told me you were a cutie."
Leonis had not been expecting a female voice and it startled him into opening his eyes. Standing four feet from him was a pretty blond haired woman. She had a softly rounded face and bright blue eyes. Leonis mentally compared her to some of the women he knew and swiftly decided that while pretty, she couldn't hold a candle to his own mother, nor to his cousin Narcissa. Still she was a pretty woman. Her accent was not Italian, but nor was it British. He couldn't place it.
For a moment, Leonis feared he had somehow ended up in the wrong place. A swift look at his surroundings reassured him that he was indeed in Belvedere, just where he was supposed to be. "I'm sorry Miss, you have me at a disadvantage."
"Oh, yes, of course," the woman seemed startled by his manner. She had no doubt expected him to preen at being called "adorable" and a "cutie" and was not sure of what to make of him when he hadn't. "I'm Healer Renata Amiel," she said and she held out her hand for him to shake.
Leonis reluctantly did so as he stared up at her. "You are one of my father's healers?" he asked of her.
She smirked then. "I'm his only healer now aside from the mind-healer that he still has sessions with. He visits her in England though."
Leonis nodded slowly and felt a twinge of hurt to realize that Sirius had been making trips to England but had not come around to see him. 'Cassiopeia might have refused him, you cannot jump to the conclusion that he just didn't try to see you,' he told himself. He looked again at Healer Amiel and frowned slightly in thought. "How is it that you attend to my father? I thought that he was physically better now," some of his worry bled into his voice as he asked the question. He didn't want to sound so very worried about Sirius, but he couldn't help it.
"Oh, he is doing great!" she was swift to reassure him. "My job is to help your father continue on the path of better health. He's regaining muscle mass that he lost during his time in that awful place," she shivered as she voiced 'place' then continued. "I have him on a muscles building nutrition diet and have him working out to regain what he lost, but he has to be carefully monitored so that he doesn't overdo it."
Leonis nodded at that. It did make sense. Sirius had worked hard to get well again and sometimes he had pushed too far, too fast. At least that is what Lord Black had told him. It had made Leonis's heart ache when he had heard of Sirius having setbacks because he had pushed himself too hard. Always after learning of it, he had dreams of Regulus and Sirius.
In each dream, he was Regulus and he was fighting against tears as he slowly and gently rubbed healing paste onto bruises caused by Walburga's beating of Sirius. In each dream, Sirius told him that he would get stronger so that he could protect them both. Each time he promised that Regulus cried and Leonis awoke in tears and with a pain in his heart that threatened to overwhelm him. Leonis had a similar pain when he had listened to the Howler that Sirius had sent him.
"I'm glad that you are making sure he doesn't have another setback," Leonis told her and though some instinct made him dislike the woman, he did mean what he said. He didn't want Sirius hurt. Deciding not to dwell further on this and wanting to be away from the woman he decided to ask, "Where is my father?"
"Right here," Sirius spoke up from his position in the doorway behind Leonis.
Leonis whirled around and took in the sight of his father. Sirius looked a lot better than he had at their last visit. Now that Leonis had gone almost two months without seeing his father, he could see the changes in him. Sirius looked quite healthy now and stronger than he had been when Leonis had seen him last. He was glad for the change but his heart felt a hollow ache for that lost time.
"He just arrived Sirius," Renata said from behind Leonis. "You told me he was adorable, but I had no idea. He's going to be a heart-breaker when he's older."
Leonis wished that she would stop talking. His gray eyes stared up at his father and he wondered if Sirius thought the same thing. How did Sirius put up with her? His father had been to hell and back though, so really, he should not underestimate just what Sirius could put up with.
"I should put my things up into my room," Leonis said simply and then he moved toward the door. He wanted to hug Sirius, but he didn't feel comfortable enough to give in to the instinct. Instead he held his head high and walked past the older man into the hall. He fled up the stairs as soon as he could and sought refuge in the bedroom that had been assigned to him as his when he was at Belvedere. He had a feeling that this was going to be a very long week.
"What did you tell him?" Sirius asked of Renata. His tone showed his displeasure and his mind was in a whirlwind of panic. He hadn't seen his son in almost two months and he didn't want anything to complicate his time spent with Leonis. Though Harry had visited him regularly during the last two months and he had enjoyed the time with Harry, he had missed Leonis. He had longed to see his son.
The blonde-haired woman frowned at him. "I told him that I was your Healer since it is the truth," she said in a playful and seductive tone as she moved closer to him. "I just didn't tell him how closely I monitor your physical health," she added the last in a highly suggestive tone.
Sirius released a sigh of relief. Though he and Renata had become lovers, he wasn't serious about the woman. Certainly, not serious enough to introduce her as his lover to his son or to his godson. Harry had met Renata but had not seemed to pick up on the fact that Renata was more than just a healer to oversee his health. He had watched Leonis though, while his son spoke with Renata and asked who she was. Leonis had suspected that something was different about Renata regarding Sirius but the boy didn't know what, yet. He hoped that Leonis's young age would work against him figuring out that his father had taken a lover.
"Good, I don't need him anymore upset with me than he already is," Sirius declared and he moved away from Renata, putting physical distance between them. He watched the sexy little pout form on her lips but it didn't have the effect she was hoping for. He was not the slightest bit interested. Now that his son was here, he just wanted time with Leonis so that they could sort things out. He breathed a sigh of relief when Renata left the room, her eyes trailing over him in blatant invitation, one he had no intention of giving in to. She knew his rules. When Leonis and Harry were visiting they would act as Patient and Healer rather than the lovers they had become.
Azkaban was, by necessity, the longest time that Sirius had ever gone without a lover. From the time, he lost his virginity at age fifteen, Sirius had always had a lover. He had rarely been serious about any of the women he had slept with, but he had never lacked for company. As his body had healed from the ravages of Azkaban so too had his libido. Renata was a convenient distraction while he was trapped at Belvedere. Soon he would be released from all his doctors except for the mind healer that he was seeing. He'd be free to move back to Britain where he could be closer to Leonis and Harry.
His initial desire had been to take Leonis away from Cassiopeia and Harry away from Petunia as soon as he was well. Over time, and many sessions with the Mind Healer, he realized that this was not such a good idea. He knew next to nothing about raising children, though that was not really his fault. He would have been happy to learn. It was what he had wanted when he had learned of his son's existence. Nothing could change the fact that he had spent six years in Azkaban, though. That was time he could not get back with Leonis and Harry and it was time in which others had been there for them and taken care of them.
Did he have the right to take Harry away from Petunia? The law would possibly side with him if he made the attempt, but would that benefit Harry? The realization that it wouldn't had come to him when Harry had become ill upon one of his visits. Despite having Sirius there with him and a healer's care, the boy had wanted Petunia. He had begged for his aunt and she had been brought to Belvedere by Portkey. He had to stand by and watch as her mere presence soothed Harry. She sang to him and he fell asleep. She had stayed the rest of the weekend with him and Harry and Sirius had gotten to know her a little better. He could now understand why it was that his Great-Uncle Marius had stolen her away from Dursley. Even if it had been all about Harry at first, he was positive now that Marius loved Petunia. She seemed equally as devoted.
He was content to leave well enough alone regarding Harry's placement with Petunia. He was healthy and happy and Marius and Petunia were friendly with Sirius. They were giving him almost unfettered access to Harry so long as it did not interfere with his education. Petunia had also informed him that she wished for him to get healthy and put some of his pure-blood upbringing to use by becoming the Regent of House Potter. The Potter Regency was currently held by his Grandfather, Pollux Black. This was because Squibs and Muggles could not hold such a position of power in the Wizengamot. Due to this Petunia had insisted that her brother-in-law Pollux be the Potter Regent. Sirius would have to speak to his grandfather about taking over his duties. It was what James would have wanted.
Removing Leonis from Cassiopeia was one of his dearest wishes and one he still argued with his Mind-Healer about. He dearly wanted his son to live with him, but he was very aware of the fact that Cassiopeia had been raising him since his birth. Also, there was a contract between Lord Black and Lady Macmillan that Cassiopeia would raise Leonis. It still angered him that Olivia had not come to him, had not told him that she was pregnant with Leonis. He hated that the anger he felt toward her did little to dampen his desire for her. He had vowed that he would get over Olivia and he would. He had to.
Cassiopeia hated him, had hated him since he was sorted into Gryffindor. She didn't want Leonis to visit him, didn't want him allowed near his son. He despised Cassiopeia for attempting to keep him from Leonis. Due to Olivia's contract with Lord Black, Sirius would not be able to take Leonis away from Cassiopeia. So instead he needed to have Lord Black on his side. He was only out of Azkaban because Leonis had wished it so. He needed Lord Black to see that Leonis was better off with Sirius as an active participant in the boy's life.
It felt like begging for scraps, but Sirius pushed his wounded pride aside. He had been stubborn and proud before Azkaban. He had always thought he was right. Everything had been so black and white. There was good and bad and everything was simple. Only, it had not really been simple. He just had not known that then. He had pushed his brother away because he had sorted into Slytherin and Sirius thought that Slytherin equaled evil. He had treated Regulus as though he had betrayed him by being sorted into Slytherin. In that, he had wronged his baby brother. He had pushed Olivia away because he had feared really letting himself be happy with her. It had taken him too long to realize that such prejudice was the real reason he had given up his first love. Olivia was also a Slytherin and that had frightened him. He had let it create a wall between them. As much as he still burned for her, he knew she was better off with Malcolm. The man had always loved her and would never let insecurities and prejudices keep him from loving her. Malcolm was the better man than him.
He couldn't let his pride get in the way of him being a father to Leonis. He wouldn't let it stop him from being a good father to his child. Leonis had asked for him, had wanted him out of Azkaban. His boy needed him, and he was so grateful to have a second chance to be with him.
He was brought from his thoughts by the sound of soft steps on the staircase. He turned from his position just inside the doorway of the receiving room to watch his son come down the stairs. One hand rested on the banister as he walked down the stairs in careful, soft steps. The soft steps and the way the boy held himself as he moved reminded him yet again of Regulus. It was a painful reminder but he welcomed it rather than shying from it. His son was more like his little Reggie than like himself and Sirius needed to remember that.
Once Leonis had reached the bottom of the stairs he fixed his gray eyes upon him and Sirius regarded him in kind for several moments. At last Sirius ran a hand through his son's black curls. "I think we need to talk, yeah?"
Leonis stared at him for a few moments, a measuring look in those gray eyes and then he slowly nodded.
"Come on, let's go to the study," Sirius said because he felt unnerved by his son's gaze. He led the way to the study and he was dreading the talk that the two of them were about to have.
Once inside the room Sirius almost walked toward the desk but then he frowned, and instead made his way to the set of chairs and sofa near the veranda doors. He took a seat in one of the chairs and Leonis followed his example by seating himself on the sofa. Sirius studied his son in tense silence. The boy was sitting perfectly still. He had never seen a child his age sit perfectly still. No, that wasn't true. Regulus could sit still like that when he was seven years old, but Regulus had only done so under their mother's stern gaze. He frowned at the thought. He let his eyes roam over his son's form and yes there, he could see it now. There was a rigidness of his shoulders. He was not just sitting still, he was bracing himself, waiting.
"I think it best if I just get to the point," Sirius said choosing not to prolong the silence. "I don't want you spending any time with Snape," he spat the name. Just saying the name reminded Sirius of the fear that he had felt when he had read Leonis's letter stating that he had become an Apprentice to Potions Master Snape. He had been shocked, terrified. Fear had choked him and then rage, hot, red and blinding had swept through him. He had never known this kind of fear and he had only once felt this kind of rage. The night he had learned that Regulus had died. The thought of his son, his little lion at the mercy of Severus Snape had sent too many spiraling emotions through him, all of them bad and desperate. He had sent the Howler to Leonis without thinking of how it would affect him. He had only been desperate to make his wishes known and to force Leonis to end the apprenticeship.
He felt the same desperation now and so he continued to try to force his point. "You don't know Snape like I do. He's filthy, vile, disgusting. He came into Hogwarts as a first year knowing more curses than the outgoing seventh year Slytherins did. He's probably secretly a Death Eater, and even if he isn't one he still cannot be trusted. He hated me. He probably only took you on as an Apprentice to hurt you to get his revenge on me," Sirius raved, his voice raising as he felt the fear choking him once more. He had already experienced too many nightmares about Severus Snape harming Leonis. Each nightmare came spiraling back in on him now as he ranted and raved at his son. Due to this he didn't take note of how his behavior was effecting his son.
Leonis winced as Sirius's voice began to rise with his growing agitation. His first instinct was to curl into the couch cushions but he fought against the urge. He was seven now and he couldn't really keep acting like a child every time he heard voices raised in anger. He had to get over this phobia of raised voices. He blamed Uncle Regulus for his phobia. It had to come from the strange link that had formed between them before the older man's death.
His second instinct was to defend his Master. Severus Snape, the Lord Prince, had been very good to him thus far. He had even sworn an oath to Lord Black that he would not allow his personal feelings about Sirius Black to interfere with how he treated Leonis. That Leonis was very little like his father probably helped their situation. Severus had said once that Leonis reminded him more of Regulus Black than of Sirius Black.
His third reaction was absolute indignation. How dare his father say that revenge against Sirius was the only reason that the Potions Master Snape wanted him as an Apprentice. It wasn't true, not at all. In fact, being Sirius's son had been a detriment rather than a virtue in his gaining his Apprenticeship with the mostly reclusive Lord Prince.
"You don't know what you are talking about!" Leonis finally yelled back, giving in to his growing rage. He had never felt this angry before, though he had been warned many times that the Blacks were volatile when riled. They felt too much and had to work harder than most Pure-blood families to mask their feelings so that others could not use those emotions against them. "You don't really even know Master Snape," Leonis raged.
"Don't you dare call him that!" Sirius snarled out. It was clear to Leonis that him having called Snape his Master had offended Sirius in some way but he didn't know how.
Leonis rolled his eyes only to have Sirius narrow his own blue eyes at him for the childish display. "He is my Master. He is a Potions Master First Class. He is the youngest person to hold that title in centuries, and the youngest that Britain has had in a very long time. He worked hard for the title. He is therefore Master Snape. Just as my Combat Instructor is Master Rosai," Leonis explained.
"That's different!" Sirius snarled at him as he rose to his feet and began to pace.
Leonis arose as well but remained standing before the sofa. "How? How is it different?" he asked in exasperation. "They are both certified Masters. It isn't different, it is the same."
"No, it isn't!" Sirius argued, his voice high with anger.
"Why?" Leonis demanded to know, his hands fisted at his side and shaking in anger of his own.
"It's a matter of intent," Sirius yelled back. "Your Combat Master deserves your respect so he deserves to be called Master Rosai, but Snape doesn't."
Leonis narrowed his eyes at Sirius. He welcomed the anger that was flowing through him as he listened to his father. "Master Snape deserves as much respect from me as Master Rosai does!" he insisted.
Sirius growled then, the sound coming out close to the sound of a growling dog. "You are refusing to listen to me. Snape is not trustworthy. He only took you on as an Apprentice to hurt you to get to me!"
"You are really something else, you know that?" Leonis said snidely to him. "I was told you were arrogant, but I really had no idea that you thought the world evolved around you until now."
"I don't think the world evolves around me," Sirius argued. He looked surprised, completely taken aback by Leonis's statement. It was as though he could not figure out why Leonis might have made the statement in the first place.
This only fueled Leonis's ire. "You haven't thought, even once that maybe, just maybe Master Snape took me as an Apprentice on my own merits. That he took me because…because he thought I was worthy. Because he thought that I might make a good Potions Master with the right training. You just assumed it was all about you!" Leonis threw this last at Sirius and then he bolted. He didn't know what he was doing really, just that he was running out the open veranda doors and down the stairs that would lead him into the small garden.
He kept going, refusing to stay close to the house. He just needed space, away from Sirius. He needed time. Time to think about what Sirius had said and what he had said back to his father. It hurt. It hurt so much that Sirius had really thought it was all about some old rivalry between himself and Snape. He had only written the letter telling him about his Apprenticeship because he had thought that Sirius might show some pride in him. Sirius didn't hesitate to give Harry praise for some of the things he did in his Muggle School, so he thought surely the fact that he had become Apprenticed to a Potions Master First Class would impress his father.
He had miscalculated just how much his father hated Severus Snape. He felt the sting of tears as he kept running. He didn't stop when he reached the gates of the property. He barely acknowledged the tingling of the wards as he passed through the currently open gate and slipped into the Muggle cobblestone streets. He kept going, turning down winding streets until at last he had exhausted himself, and he stumbled before he fell.
"Ouch!" he managed to say as he slowly pulled himself up. He gingerly looked at his hands. They were scraped and bleeding and he felt a tear spill over his cheek as he looked at them. He winced as the tear drop splashed upon his open palms. He then looked to his leg and frowned as he noticed the torn fabric of his trousers. It was torn at the knee and he gingerly pulled the fabric apart and took note of the bloodied and dirty knee.
He fought against the urge to wail. How undignified of him. He had let his emotions rule him. First, he had argued with his father, yelling at the man. Then he had run away. Now he had hurt himself and he didn't even know where he was.
"Umm, hey there, are you alright?" a voice called out to him. It was the voice of a boy and he sounded young, close to his own age. The voice spoke to him in French, but Leonis could easily understand him. He had grown up speaking both French and English at the insistence of his Aunt Cassiopeia. He and Draco often practiced speaking French together since they rarely got to visit France. It kept both fluent.
Leonis raised his head to answer and then he froze and stared dumbly for a moment at the other boy. The boy was about his own height and he had a mop of beautiful black curls. His skin was pale but a little sun kissed from time in the sunshine. It was his facial features and his eyes that truly startled Leonis into silence. The boy looked like a miniature version of his father. He looked like old photos that Leonis had seen of Sirius Black when he was a child. Even the brilliant blue eyes, his grandma Melania's eyes, were staring back at him in curiosity.
"Do you understand me?" the boy asked again in French.
"Yes, I do," Leonis found his voice then never taking his eyes from the other boy.
"Oh good. I was worried that you only spoke Italian. I don't really know it. I'm here with my Papa on holiday," the boy spoke.
Leonis nodded. "I'm visiting my father on holiday too, but umm…" he paused and at the curious look from the boy he continued. "We had a fight and I ran off," he finished lamely because he realized as he explained just how stupid he was to have run off like that. He never should have left the garden or at least the grounds.
"You ran away?" the boy that looked like his father gasped.
"No, I just," Leonis paused and winced as he slowly stood up. It hurt to use his hands and his knee stung. "I just wanted some space. I wanted to get away from him to think."
The other boy nodded slowly in understanding. "Sometimes I get angry with my Papa too," he confided. "I don't run off though. He'd worry so much if I did that. I hide myself away in a cubby hole in the attic that is too small for him to get in."
Leonis thought that having a secret place to hide away from the world and the expectations of others must be pleasant. "That must be nice."
"You look pretty torn up," the other boy frowned as he gently took his hand holding it palm up so he could inspect it. "At least there don't seem to be any pebbles in it. I once fell in a Muggle parking area. There were pebbles and broken glass in my skin that Papa had to remove."
Leonis felt relief flood through him as the child said the word Muggle. He was talking to a fellow Wizard. Despite his stupidity, he had lucked out to have encountered a Wizard child instead of a Muggle one. Leonis had not been around Muggles before. He knew a little bit about them due to Harry and Dudley but it was not enough to make him feel comfortable in his ability to blend in with Muggles if he had to do so.
"You are a Wizard then," Leonis whispered with relief.
The other boy blushed but nodded. "I, yes. What gave me away?" he asked.
"Muggles. You said Muggles," Leonis informed him.
"Oh," the boy laughed. "I have been so careful during this trip not to mess up like that. I'm so glad that it was with someone who knew about the Wizarding World when I finally fouled up."
Leonis smirked. "Your secret is safe with me. I'm also a Wizard so there is no reason to be nervous."
The boy that could by a younger clone of his father nodded. "That is good," he said then he frowned once more at his hand. "Why don't you come with me? I was waiting just outside that shop for my father to finalize a purchase. He's a Wizard too and he'll be able to look over your wounds and heal you up in no time. He's used to it what with my accidents."
Leonis found himself nodding along before he had really given himself a chance to consider it. "Thank you, umm… I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name."
The boy laughed. "I'm sorry, I didn't really introduce myself, did I?" he asked of Leonis. "Papa taught me good manners, really he did, but I don't always remember to use them. I'd shake your hand, but I think we'll wait for that. My name is Orion, Orion de Rais."
"Leonis Black," Leonis said then. "It is my pleasure to meet you Orion."
Thanks again for reading and reviewing! Next Chapter: Frightened Grim - in which Sirius must find his son, and receives a surprise when he is reunited with an old friend.
