Chapter 38: Frightened Grim
Belvedere Villa, Prosecco, Trieste, Italy
December 26, 1986
Sirius felt his blood run cold when he heard his son refer to Snape as 'Master'. "Don't you dare call him that!" he snarled out. His mind was already filling with horrible thoughts of Snape forcing Leonis to call him Master and binding his son to his will. Was that Snape's game? Was he wanting to be another Dark Lord? Start with the influential sons of the great families, and then move along to the Wizarding children that showed great talents that might suit his cause later?
Leonis rolled his eyes at him and Sirius felt his anger escalate. "He is my Master," Leonis said. "He is a Potions Master First Class. He is the youngest person to hold that title in centuries, and the youngest that Britain has had in a very long time. He worked hard for the title. He is therefore Master Snape. Just as my Combat Instructor is Master Rosai," Leonis explained.
"That's different!" Sirius snarled at him as he rose to his feet and began to pace. Why couldn't Leonis understand? Why was his son being so stubborn? Oh, of all the things that his boy could have inherited from him, it just had to be his stubbornness. Sirius was willing to admit that he was very stubborn. It was galling seeing that Leonis was just as stubborn as he was.
Leonis arose as well but remained standing before the sofa. "How? How is it different?" his boy asked in exasperation, and Sirius wished he could find the words to make him understand. "They are both certified Masters. It isn't different, it is the same."
"No, it isn't!" Sirius argued, his voice high with anger. Anger at his inability to properly convey to Leonis just why Snape was so very dangerous. How could he make his son understand how desperately afraid he was of Snape harming him?
"Why?" Leonis demanded to know, his hands fisted at his side and shaking in anger of his own.
"It's a matter of intent," Sirius yelled back. "Your Combat Master deserves your respect so he deserves to be called Master Rosai, but Snape doesn't," he snarled the last. Snape didn't deserve respect. He was a horrible human being. He had been the bane of his, James, and Remus's existence throughout Hogwarts. His mind recoiled from thoughts of Peter, even now. James had never gone up against Snape alone because there was that acknowledgement that Snape was a Dark Wizard. The boy would have defeated James in a fair duel, but Dark Wizards didn't deserve fair play. They certainly wouldn't give fair play in any duels, now would they?
Leonis narrowed his eyes at Sirius. "Master Snape deserves as much respect from me as Master Rosai does!" his little Lion insisted.
Sirius growled then, the sound coming out close to the sound of a growling dog, just as he sounded when he was Padfoot. "You are refusing to listen to me. Snape is not trustworthy. He only took you on as an Apprentice to hurt you to get to me!"
"You are really something else, you know that?" Leonis rejoined. "I was told you were arrogant, but I really had no idea that you thought the world evolved around you until now."
"I don't think the world evolves around me," Sirius argued. He was surprised, completely taken aback by Leonis's statement. He could not figure out why Leonis might have made the statement in the first place.
This only seemed to fuel his son's ire. "You haven't thought, even once that maybe, just maybe Master Snape took me as an Apprentice on my own merits. That he took me because…because he thought I was worthy. Because he thought that I might make a good Potions Master with the right training. You just assumed it was all about you!" Leonis threw this last at him and then he bolted.
Sirius watched in stunned silence as his son ran away from him, racing from the room to the veranda and then down the stairs leading into the garden below. He stood there in the still silence, the walls seeming to echo with the words of their fight. He ran a trembling hand through his black hair and scowled in recrimination at himself.
He had lost complete control of the situation. He had let emotions rule him in his argument and he had, he had hurt his son. Though Leonis had sounded angry throughout, there was that emotion underlying it that his voice had betrayed at the end. Hurt. His son was very hurt right now. The worst part was that Sirius had done the harm. Anyone else who hurt his boy and he'd want to hunt them down and castrate them. How could he have let it get so out of control? He had thought he was calm enough to talk with Leonis about Snape but he hadn't been. Few people in the world riled him like Severus Snape, and he had fallen into the old trap of letting Snape get to him.
"Sirius, you really screwed up this time!" he spoke aloud to himself because he needed noise. He felt as though he were being condemned by the silence.
He paced as he thought over the fight, the points he had made, the points his son had made and he scowled when he realized that Leonis did have valid points. His boy had been brought up properly and so of course he would refer to anyone with a known Mastery as "Master". It was only proper. Like how Minerva McGonagall was the Transfiguration Mistress because she had achieved her Mastery in that particular spell craft.
Did he have valid points of his own? Yes, but he had not delivered them well. He had let his fear guide his tongue and so he had ranted and raved about Snape, defaming the man's name and character instead of truly conveying his fear and worry to his son. Oh, there had been plenty of fear and he had mentioned his fear of Snape using Leonis as a tool of vengeance against Sirius, but he had not truly made Leonis understand how afraid he really was of Snape hurting him. He had just continued to argue his point as though Leonis should bow to his will because he was his father. Even Sirius had never bowed to his parents wills simply because they were his parents.
Oh yes, his son had inherited his stubbornness. He wondered if maybe Leonis had inherited a bit of his pride as well. His pride combined with his stubbornness had proved dangerous. He hoped for his son's sake that Leo had not inherited his pride as well.
It was the tingling of the wards that alerted him that someone had passed the boundary. The trouble was that Sirius could not tell if it was someone coming onto the property or leaving it. He frowned as he walked out onto the veranda, his blue eyes searching for the sight of black hair amongst the foliage. The garden area was currently under a weather charm to keep the garden at Spring temperatures. He let his eyes scan the garden and he saw no sign of his son's raven hair. He frowned then in worry. "Leonis?" He called out, pitching his voice to be heard. He waited a few moments, his heart began to pound with his mounting fear. He took out his wand this time and used the Sonorus spell and then called out again "Leo!"
"Sirius, what is going on?" Renata asked from behind him as she came out onto the veranda.
He looked at her with panicked eyes but he didn't answer her question. He turned back to scanning the garden. "Lion? Leonis!"
"Sirius?" Renata's voice grated upon his senses.
"I can't find him and I felt a tickle in the wards as though someone had either left or come through," he admitted and his voice was full of worry.
Renata frowned in worry then as well. "There is a scheduled delivery of food from the cook's nephew coming this afternoon. I," she paused and then seemed to steel herself before she continued. "I gave her authorization to keep the gate open for him. Her knee has been acting up so I told her to just leave the gate open for him and she could rest up her knee instead of having to walk down and open the gate."
Sirius took in her words as though in a haze. She had authorized the cook to just leave the gate open because her knee hurt. Renata didn't have the right to authorize anything in his house except for his physical regimen. How dare she act like she was the mistress of his home? Just because he had let her into his bed didn't make her his wife! They had not shared vows!
Before he realized his intentions, he had his hand wrapped around her throat and had her pressed against the brick wall of the exterior façade of the house. Her nails clawed at him but he held her firm. Somehow, he managed not to truly choke her. He cut off only enough air to make her breaths shallow and to show her just how much his strength had grown, as though she had not already noticed due to their other activities.
"You had no right to do that without my authorization," he snarled at her. "No right!"
"Sirius," she gasped. "I'm sure that it was just the nephew come early. I'll check with the cook," she begged.
He glared at her and slowly nodded and let himself release her. "You do that. I am going to search the grounds for Leonis,"
"How will I tell you if it was the Cook's nephew?" she asked of him.
"You're a Witch, aren't you?" he said snidely. "Use a Sonorus. I'll hear it out on the grounds," he insisted even as he turned away from her and strode out into the gardens and then onward onto the grounds.
Which way would his son have gone? He decided to check the gate first and he prayed that he might pick up some sort of scent of his boy. He let himself get out of sight of the veranda and then he transformed into his animagus form. Immediately he began to sniff the ground, searching for the scent of his beloved son. Within a few moments, he picked up the scent and he began to follow. As he feared it went toward the open gate and beyond, beyond into the Muggle street. He didn't even consider stopping to inform the household of his intentions, he kept following the scent out into the street and onward deeper into the Muggle areas of town. He wouldn't rest, couldn't rest until he had his little boy back.
"Grazie," Remus Lupin spoke to the shop keeper as he finalized his purchase and then exited the shop. When he and Orion had passed the store, he had noted the old book in the window. It had looked incredibly old and it needed renovation, but that is not what attracted Remus to it. He was attracted by the fact that the book was a magical book. He had been unable to resist going inside and asking the proprietor if he might have a look at the book.
A swift perusal had told him that it was a copy of the Zabini Family Grimoire. The Zabini's were a prominent Italian Wizarding family, so it was extraordinary for there to be a copy of their Grimoire out there. The inscription within had made a little more sense to him. It was inscribed to Lucretia Zabini, the wife of Cassius Zabini. Family Grimoire's were quite particular in that only blooded members of the family could open a Grimoire. That Lucretia had been given a copy of the family Grimoire could only mean that she had been dearly beloved and trusted by Cassius Zabini. It was a foolish thing to do though, because Lucretia's book would only be bound by her own blood, not her blood line. Once Lucretia had died, the Grimoire would have almost no protection from others obtaining the Zabini family secrets written within.
While Remus had marveled over the find, Orion had grown bored in the shop. He couldn't blame his son. It was after all, an antique shop and so the boy was not allowed to touch anything. He had allowed Orion to exit the shop and wait for him outside so long as he waited just outside of the building where he could turn his head to the shop window and see the lad waiting outside. He had twice looked to assure himself of his son remaining within sight of the shop. So, it was a shock to him to see that his son had a companion when he exited the store.
"Papa, this is my new friend," Orion began at a fast and eager pace as soon as Remus had joined them. "His name is Leonis Black, and he's like us. But Papa, he fell and hurt his hands and his knee. I told him you would help. You will help him, won't you Papa?"
Remus looked from the pleading blue eyes of his son to the gray eyed gaze of Leonis Black. He had never seen the boy before and so he could not resist staring at the boy, letting his eyes take him in. Somehow, he had expected Sirius's first born child to be the spitting image of him. He had expected Leonis to look just like his Orion looked. Oh, the similarities could not be denied. They both were undeniably scions of the House of Black. Leonis resembled Regulus Black more than he did Sirius, or at least Remus thought he did. His own memories of Regulus were vague but he did remember that while Sirius was certainly devilishly handsome, Regulus had been beautiful. The boy before him would be a real heart breaker someday. He would be the type of boy that photographers would want as a model.
It was only when the boy fidgeted beneath his gaze and his own son pulled at his hand that Remus finally spoke. "Of course, we must help your friend Ori," he reassured his son. "But where is your father?" he asked of the Heir Black.
Leonis blushed then. "I was upset and I ran away," he admitted. Remus looked at him askance and the boy looked at him eagerly. "I didn't mean to run away Sir. I just," the boy struggled to find the right words. "We had a fight and I was really upset. All I could think of was that I wanted to get away from him and think for a little while," he said.
Remus took that in and nodded and then he placed a gentle hand on the boy's shoulder. "You know your father is probably really worried about you," Remus told him in gentle reprimand. He was shocked that to see the gray eyes of the boy fill with hope.
"Do you really think so?" he asked of Remus.
'Oh Sirius, you have bungled up badly if your own son is hopeful that you are worrying, instead of sure that you are,' he thought and he felt a moment of sadness for Sirius.
"I do," Remus told him. "Come with me, we need to get you fixed up and then we'll look for your father," Remus ordered. He then proceeded to lead them from the Muggle area, back to the Inn that Remus and Orion were staying in.
He was dreading the moment that they were reunited with Sirius. He had chosen Italy as a vacation spot for himself and Orion because he believed that none of the Black family would own properties in Italy or that if they did they would own them in Tuscany or near Rome instead of near Trieste. He had chosen Trieste for the artistry, atmosphere, and the antique shops where he had heard rumors that he could find authentic wizarding items in the muggle antique stores. While the Grimoire had been a great find, he was now honor bound to take care of the Heir Black.
It was not that he didn't want to take care of Leonis. He did. The idea of leaving the child alone to the dangers of the streets filled him with dread. He couldn't do it. It was just, he wasn't ready yet. He wasn't ready to face Sirius yet. He wasn't ready to negotiate about Orion.
Whether he was ready or not, one thing was clear. He would be meeting with Sirius today and he would have to reveal Orion's existence to him.
Renata felt dread seize her as she used the Sonorus charm and called yet again for Sirius. If he could not hear her then it meant that he had crossed the barrier of the grounds. For Sirius to have done that, he must have been positive that his son had indeed rushed through the gate.
She had conferred with the few servants in the house, the Cook and the House Elves. No one had come onto the grounds. The cook's nephew had not yet come to Belvedere with the delivery. This meant that Leonis had made use of the open gate to escape from the grounds into the Muggle areas of town. Sirius had gone after him.
"Sirius!" she called out with the charm one last time and waited but the only sound was the wind rustling the leaves in the trees and the muted sound of the water lapping at the beach. She sighed in defeat. She had no choice now. She was going to have to contact Lord Black and try to explain this horrible situation.
Sirius felt dread seize him as he approached "Giovanni's Antiques", a popular antique store. His son's scent had sharpened and then he realized why. He had caught the scent of blood. He stopped at a spot where there was a bit of blood on the walkway and a whine escaped him as he felt his fear spike. Leonis had fallen in this spot.
He circled the spot and sniffing around and caught another scent that he didn't recognize. He followed his son's scent to the store and then he caught it, a scent that he knew but had not expected to find here, so close to his home.
'Remus,' Sirius thought as he continued to sniff around the area before the window. He then took off following the scent of Leonis, his son was with Remus. He felt exhilarated by the knowledge, and a certain sense of relief. Remus would not allow any harm to come to Leonis, surely. He wondered at the other scent he had caught. Remus clearly had some companion because the scent remained as he trailed the three.
At last he came to a simple but charming looking Inn. He cautiously followed the scent until he reached the front door of the Inn. Remus had taken Leonis inside. He would have to transfigure back from being Padfoot. There was simply no way that the owners of the Inn would let a dog wander inside. He scouted around, searching for an appropriate place to transfigure back and finally decided to hide behind a clutch of bushes to transform. It was the best cover he was going to get. He swiftly used his wand to cast a disillusionment spell upon himself and then he stood and approached the Inn door.
He swiftly entered and felt watched as the Muggle Proprietor moved from around his desk toward the door. The man examined the door, frowning in confusion. Sirius didn't have to guess why. He simply went over to the register behind the counter and searched until he found the for the name Lupin, Remus. He didn't find a single Lupin in the register. He frowned at that. He glanced up at the Inn keeper and noticed that he was coming back to the counter so he drew his wand and aimed it at one of the paintings on the wall. The painting fell to the floor, startling the proprietor. The man grumbled in complaint as he approached the painting and began to examine the wall.
Sirius slowly released the breath he had been holding and then continued his search. There was no trace of a Lupin on the register, but what about a Remus? He swiftly perused the list of names once more ever mindful of the proprietor. At last he came upon the name. de Rais, Remus + 1. The room number assigned was 12.
He smirked as he moved away from the book just in time for the proprietor to return to his position having fixed the mystery of the fallen painting. Sirius slowly moved down the hall looking at the room numbers. The first few doors he passed were not numbered and he assumed that they must be storage rooms. He continued and soon found himself counting the numbers on the doors.
He disillusioned himself when he reached door number 12. He trembled slightly as he raised his hand and knocked on the door. Leonis was in that room, his precious boy whom he had angered and driven away from him. He had to make it right. He just had to somehow make Leonis forgive him.
Slowly the door was opened and standing before him, sandy blonde hair showing bits of gray, was his old friend Remus Lupin. The two stared at each other for several moments. Sirius was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say to this man whom had been his friend and whom he had accidentally betrayed. He and James had feared that Remus was the spy due to his Lycanthropy. It was the second time he had truly wronged Remus and he didn't know how to begin to ask the man to forgive him for it.
"Father," he heard the voice of his beloved son say. The voice trembled slightly and it broke something inside of Sirius to hear it. He moved past Remus in a rush and before Leonis could retreat from him, Sirius gathered the boy in his arms holding him close. He cradled the boy's head to him and he put his own head to the boy's neck. Sirius felt the sting of tears as Leonis's little arms wrapped around him and he felt the splash of his son's tears fall upon him. "Father, please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you. I didn't mean to go so far," Leonis babbled even as he fought sobs.
Sirius held him close slowly sitting down in a chair by the window. He rocked his son in his arms and whispered soothing words into his ear. "I love you, Leonis. You scared years off of my life. Please, no matter how much of a berk I can be don't ever run away from me like that again. Please," he said as he ran his hand soothingly along the boy's back. "I couldn't take it if something terrible happened to you. It would destroy me."
The boy pulled back then and looked him in the eyes. It nearly broke Sirius's heart to see the gray eyes look silver due to the shed tears. He gently wiped a tear away from his son's cheek. "I'm not great at this parenting thing," Sirius said gently to Leonis. "You deserve better, but you have me and I want to be a better father," he said earnestly.
"I shouldn't have run," Leonis rejoined. "I was angry and hurt," he admitted. "I wanted space to think, but I wasn't trying to leave you. I don't want another father. I just want you to understand."
Sirius hugged him close again and they stayed that way for several moments. He sighed as he let his head fall on top of Leonis's. He let himself think about the argument, about his fears, about Leonis's counter arguments. It meant a lot to Leonis that he remains an Apprentice of Severus Snape. That much was clear enough even if Sirius hated it. His son had inherited his stubbornness, and so until Sirius could come up with a good reason to get Leonis to end the Apprenticeship, the boy would continue to hold firm in his desire. He had not thought Sirius's arguments good enough to change his mind. This meant that only by experience would Leonis learn.
Sirius gave a mental wince at that. He didn't want to take the risk of Snape really hurting him. He didn't want to say, "I told you so" to his son. Since his argument had failed to sway his boy, he would capitulate. He would say no more about ending the Apprenticeship, but he was going to meet with Severus Snape and he was going to make damn sure that the man wouldn't harm his son.
He had a brief but fuzzy memory of Snape at Prince Manor when there was a raid to see if he was a Death Eater. Sirius had tried every spell he knew and still there had not been the Dark Mark upon the man's arm. Snape had not acted like he had in school. It was clear he still thought very little of Sirius and James but he hadn't treated them as though he wanted to harm them either. Perhaps Snape really wouldn't hurt Leonis? Perhaps he had let his fears have too much sway over him? What did he really know of people now? He had already proven a bad judge in the past. He had feared Lupin a traitor and thought Pettigrew would die rather than betray James. If he had just had it the other way around then Remus could have been the secret keeper and James might still be alive.
"I'll say no more against your Apprenticeship," Sirius said at last to Leonis.
The boy sat up to look at him with curiosity in his gray eyes. "Really?" his tone was hopeful.
Sirius nodded. How could he change his mind about it now when his son looked so hopeful? He couldn't, he wouldn't. He was set on this course. "I mean it," he told the boy. "You made good points and I was letting my fear of what could happen to you cloud my judgement. It is an honor that such an esteemed Master wanted you as an Apprentice. I will be speaking with him though," he watched as his son went from relieved and happy to sudden concern. "I don't intend to threaten him or do anything terribly embarrassing," he reassured his son. "I just need to clear the air a little between us so that I will feel better about this whole thing. It might help us both to be able to deal with each other amicably in the future. I'm not saying we'll ever be friends but we don't have to hate each other either."
Leonis beamed a pleased smile at him and then hugged him once more. "Thank you, father," he said in a voice full of happiness.
"Will you forgive me for letting my fears rule me?" Sirius asked because he needed to know that Leonis truly forgave him.
Leonis continued to smile at him and he nodded. "You were afraid for me," he said as though he had only just figured it all out recently. Perhaps he had. Perhaps he really had needed the space from Sirius to think things through. "I forgive you. You were just worried about me."
Sirius shook his head. "No, Lion," he said affectionately. "I was beyond worried. I was snarling and unreasonable with fear."
Leonis seemed pleased by this for some reason and he hugged Sirius once again. Sirius was pleased with the reaction and hugged the child back. He then looked to his old friend, Remus Lupin.
Remus was watching him with sympathetic eyes and Sirius smiled at his old friend. "Thank you for taking care of him Remus," he said allowing his gratitude to bleed into his voice. "I don't know what I would have done if something terrible had happened to him." The very thought of anything bad happening to Leonis had him holding the boy protectively.
Remus nodded his head. "I was in a Giovanni's Antiques making a purchase and Orion was bored so I told him he could await me outside so long as he stayed in sight of the store window so I could see him. When I exited the shop, he had a little friend with him who had fallen and skinned up his knee and his palms. When the boy admitted to having gotten lost, I took him with us so that we could heal him up and then we were going to search for his father. Seems like you found us first," Remus explained in a rush. His voice was matter of fact, but the way he rushed through his explanation showed a bit of nervousness.
"Orion?" Sirius questioned.
"I'm Orion, Sir," a little boy about the same age as Leonis spoke up from the second bed.
Sirius stared at the boy in shock. The boy was seated on the bed and was wearing a pair of muggle denim pants, a pair of boots, and a dark blue sweater. It wasn't the boy's attire that shocked him though. It was his looks. The boy looked just like a younger version of himself. He found himself at a loss for words and the boy fidgeted beneath his gaze.
Remus spoke then. "Sirius, this is Orion deRais, my son."
Thank you for reading! Next Chapter: Fathers and Sons - in which Sirius and Remus clear the air between them and Melania solves the problem regarding who should be Orion's guardian.
