Sakura threw her backpack in her tent and with a towel in her hand she slowly walked towards the river. It is around midnight and the camp is quiet. She just arrived back from Ame no Kuni and she feels tired and powerless. These past weeks have been complete hell for her and she never thought that life as a war shinobi could get any worse. She was getting used to the bad food, poor conditions and hard work but then someone decided to whip some more hardship on her back and shortly afterwards throw her in Ame no Kuni and make her fight and heal with almost no rest. This is inhumane and outrageous but who cares about her life? She is nothing but a sharp weapon which has to be used until blunt and then thrown away. It hurts knowing this.

The kunoichi kneed on the shore and watched her reflection. Konoha took away her smile, her trust and everyone dear to her without proper explanations. She is sometimes scared to smile because people will see that as a sign of weakness. Come to think of it, when did she last smile? She can remember the night she worked with Shisui, guarding the camp, and he said something that made her smile. She attempted to hide it from him but the smile was there, tingling her lips. It is not often that she thinks of him, that she remembers something good that happened in his company. Everything seems bitter-sweet about him, intimidating. Sakura bit her lower lip. What does he really think of her? Her reflection always seems small and insignificant in his eyes and it is hard to tell what he really thinks of her.

Sakura sighed and got up. She longs for a bond with someone and even being friends with Shisui sounds a lot better than what they are now. "It's not love…" she whispered and turned to return to her tent. After all, she is no longer capable of positive feelings.

Upon turning she nearly had a shock but she remained emotionless as her eyes locked with Sasuke's. They silently looked at each other, Sakura secretly hoping he did not hear her. She doesn't know how to interact with Sasuke these days. Once the greatest love of her life, now the most difficult person to be close to. But Ino is right, he might not be as grotesque as she wants to think. Maybe he, just like her, needed to feel something. She ended up sleeping with a random man she hardly knew so how can she condemn Sasuke for what he does?

"Hi," she finally spoke.

"Hi," he replied and took a step further.

The silence felt heavy for both of them. Each of them shares a regret they cannot escape. Sasuke regrets not being able to be the imaginary man Sakura always thought of him and Sakura regrets not being able to be strong and distant when they were in the village.

If she were stronger, he would've thought highly of her and dated her.

If he were different, a relationship could've actually worked but he is not the sweet and careful kind of man.

They looked at each other thinking about their faults. Regrets which shouldn't bother them. He is the boy he always was and he shouldn't let it bother him just because he couldn't change to her desires. Just as that was Sakura's way of showing her love for him. Nothing that they can change.

But he could've been nicer and less arrogant.

But she could've been less annoying and give him space.

"Just came back?" Sasuke asked.

"Yes…" she replied shrugging her shoulders and looking away.

What's the point now? This is how they were and this is how they are now. Why cry over an unchangeable past? Still, it is funny how both of them walk on the same path now and still don't match. They can sleep with other people but not with each other.

"Let's walk back together," he proposed and waited for her to move.

Sakura shrugged her shoulders again and silently walked towards him. They want to talk but they have nothing in common these days. The few missions they share together are not worth mentioning.

Sakura changed, Sasuke noticed as he took a glance at her. She matured up quite a lot and everything about her seems different. Her eyes seem greener than before, shiny and captivating. Long hair suits her perfectly. She is no longer loud and without boundaries. It's nice. If only she were like this from the beginning. "Sakura," he started and grabbed her wrist. "We could work on something now." The words left his mouth before he could even consider them. But it is fine because she is Sakura, the girl with undying love for him who wouldn't judge him.

Feeling his fingers wrapping around her wrist made her heart skip a beat. It wasn't because she was nervous but because she was surprised and didn't know how to react. They were never intimate and Sasuke always made it clear that she was weak and annoying. What did surprise her however, were his words which fell like a mountain over her chest. She never thought such a day would actually come, not even in her dreams. This is too realistic to be true.

Sakura scanned Sasuke's serious face, searching for something that can tell her that he doesn't care for her. "Why now?" she asked cautiously.

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders as he looked away. He didn't expect her to say anything other than a 'yes'. That is what she wants after all. "Why not? We are both single and could use some company." He can guess she is a virgin but even Sakura would want some release. It should be even better from the person she likes.

Despite having no expectations she was disappointed by his words. She knew he didn't like her and it didn't take a genius to guess that. He never liked her and he never bothered to have a good look at her. "Is it sex?" she insisted deciding she will not assume anything. Sasuke was never good with words.

"Don't you want it?" He had no ill intent when he answered. He likes the way she is now but at the end of the day she is not the Uchiha he dreams off. As long as she is an outsider to his clan he cannot consider her as more than a teammate, a friend and an attractive woman to spend time with. His dad will never accept her and she will only suffer if he gave her hope. So he will be honest about his intentions from the beginning.

Sakura didn't think her chest could still hurt because of him. She stopped thinking about Sasuke long ago and she decided he is a disgusting man who deserves nothing but her hate and yet she still hurts. She hurts because he didn't keep his distance. Ino told her he thinks highly of them and that is why he didn't make a move on them and now here he is trying to break her apart. "All of you like to play with me…" she whispered annoyed. All the Uchiha men try to take control over her and burry her alive in regret and despair. Thankfully, she is no longer the weak and naive girl she used to be. Maybe old Sakura would've done it in hope he will start loving her but this Sakura is smarter. Thank God war hit them before she destroyed her life and committed suicide because of it. Sasuke will only drive her to despair and she now knows how to avoid unneeded pain. Shisui is more than enough when it comes to pain. "I loved you," she started feeling a little nostalgic, "and I respected you as a friend, colleague and teammate but you always looked down on me. Even now, you are a selfish jerk who has no consideration for others." He could've respected her.

"Sakura, it cannot be more than this. You never wanted to understand it. I am giving you the only thing I can," he defended himself.

Sakura took a deep breath and bit her lower lip. "You didn't want to give me more because…" you didn't love me, she finished her line in her head. There, now she capable of facing reality. He didn't love her and because of that no compromise was possible. She swallowed harshly realizing that despite everything she ever did, he didn't notice her. It was her family name. It was her lack of sharingan. It was her stupid and annoying attitude that drove him away. She drove him away. It hurts realizing that all her good intent and struggles just pushed him away. Sasuke needs an independent woman not a clingy child. The way she is now could've worked for him but it is too late. He will never see her more than Sakura – annoying fan girl. She made him not love her and she has to live with that. At least she has Shisui now and this is the only version he knows.

Her eyes grew big as she realized the thoughts that went through her mind. Again, she thinks of him and wants more from him than what they have. But she cannot name what she wants from Shisui. Despite their rough relationship, she finds comfort in the pain he caused her and that makes her feel alive. What more could she want?

"Sakura?" Sasuke called impatient.

"…because you have to live up to your family's expectations," she finally finished her line. "And I get it. I bet sex would be nice but I will pass." And she walked pass him and left him behind. She won't cling to her past anymore.

There, she finally said goodbye to her stupid past self. She won't go back to that weak little brainless girl. She would much rather have sex with a stranger than with the boy she loved but hurt her.

"Sakura," Sasuke called as she reached her tent. He once again grabbed her wrist and pulled her to turn towards him. She turned without effort and stared into his eyes. He cannot hurt her anymore. "Don't overthink what just happened." He doesn't think she is a weak woman anymore. And he doesn't think she is a lewd woman. He wants to make it clear to her.

Before Sakura could answer him, a hand rested on Sasuke's shoulder, catching them off guard and nearly making them reach their weapons. "Koharu called for you," Shisui said looking into his cousin's eyes as Sasuke turned his head.

Sasuke nodded once and turned towards Sakura. "Later then," he said and disappeared with a jump.

Shisui remained there motionless as he looked ahead. Sakura didn't look above his chin, trying her best to avoid eye contact. She did nothing wrong and she has nothing to be ashamed of but she worries because he might've heard something.

Shisui blankly looked above her head. He cannot look at her face because he fears he might hurt her. Anger is not the right word for the feeling burning inside him. Koharu wanted to see Sasuke tomorrow but the moment he found the two together he just couldn't hold it in anymore. He jumped to part the two as if there was an explosive tag he had to remove from the ground. "Don't overthink what?" he spoke restraining his anger. She just created a tornado of feelings inside him; feelings he doesn't even recognize. Fear? He fears he might hurt her? Since when?

Sakura shrugged her shoulders. Her heart feels very small. "Nothing in particular." Shisui doesn't need to know how she used to love Sasuke. Those are really embarrassing times of her life.

Shisui rested his palm over his chest. He never felt this before. He is not breathing regularly, and this is not a fight so why is he like this? Why does he feel like he has to grab Sakura and take her away from other men? He feels again the need to possess her and take away her free will. Why? It took him only a glance at the two to get angry. He is this close to hurting her. He cannot ignore the feeling and he finds it really hard to restrain his hands from grabbing her. Fuck! She just came back and she is already fucking him up. And she lies to him too. Annoying witch.

"I am tired and want to sleep," she said, cheeks slightly pink. She can ignore what happened with Sasuke but she cannot help but overthink Shisui's attitude. Does he care? Her thoughts were shaken by the brutality with which Shisui grabbed her elbow as she stepped in line with him and kept her still. Her poker face fell like a mask and broke the moment their eyes met. Red eyes fixed her with intent to burn her alive. It is brutal and painful but it makes her happy. When was the last time she was truly happy that someone actually cared?

His restraint lasted until she moved to leave. The moment she announced she wanted leave, he heard something snap inside his mind and he grabbed her with intent to hurt her. Shisui was naïve to think he was the only one to notice Sakura. She is young, captivating and a well known kunoichi in the village. Who knows how many are there that want what he has? But he is not nice enough to share her. Everything about Sakura belongs to him and she has no right to move without his consent. If this is the only way then he will be forceful and restrain her as much as possible. "I don't like lies," he growled. She is very bad news. Sakura makes him feel insecure and powerless and this is not the shinobi way of living he is used to. Why can't he just turn his back and walk away as he did countless times in his past? Women came and stayed a while but when they wanted more, he pushed them away. But not Sakura.

"Why do you care anyway?" she roared back. Why is she defensive? He notices her and that is more than she could wish for.

Why? Because his whore cousin was touching her and telling her things he doesn't understand. He wants to know more about Sakura and about her relationships with others. Maybe this is why she lingers in his mind: she doesn't want more. For once he feels like he could give more and she doesn't need him to. And he is sure it is not because she understands him so well and gives him space. It is because she simply doesn't care to have more. "I don't," he told her and released his grip. "Good night." He needs a break from her to think it through. Why would he even want to give her more? She is a child-woman who just happened to cross his path.

Shisui turned on his heels and walked away from her, leaving Sakura confused. She watched his back as he left her behind. What just happened? Seconds ago he was angry and now he doesn't care? Sakura clenched her fists annoyed with herself. Why did she say that? She was so happy that he asked and wanted to know more about her. It was her chance to open up but she just couldn't.

She wanted to walk after him and talk to him but she couldn't move. If he walks away then she will not run after him and explain to him things he doesn't care about. Even if she wants to…


Attachment is a strong feeling with which most Uchihas struggle since childhood and until death. In Shisui's case, he started this struggle only three months ago when he got to know Sakura. The beautiful medic who always spoke with confidence and took care of his subordinates presented no interest to him until reality hit Shisui like an earthquake. She presented to him a reality he was oblivious of and now he cannot unlearn that. He never struggled and everything was easy to him: he was born with talent, he learned fast and he had a strong clan watching his back. But other people don't have anything and yet they manage to evolve. Like Sakura. Born to a weak family and with no abilities, Sakura turned into a strong shinobi with good fighting and medical skills. Without this war he wouldn't have noticed her. It is alarming when he thinks just how close he was to miss her; to miss knowing how the world really works.

It is also alarming how she managed to mess him up in such a short while and give him such a headache. Last night is still hunting him and he feels worse than then. If last night he was angry and jealous of Sasuke, now he is embarrassed of how he acted. Late at night, alone in his tent and with the memory of the two together, Shisui thought a lot of what drove him to that state. He recognized jealousy with ease and he was truly surprised someone like him could feel like that. He always had the power to overcome everything that came his way. His name alone means strength! But that feeling took control with so much ease, breaking his restraint and years of control over emotions.

He fell asleep hoping there was nothing between Sakura and Sasuke. Usually he doesn't hope, he has the power to make it happen but with Sakura…she ignores everything he is and everything he wants to be. She doesn't see him the way he wants her too and after realizing that he got angry with himself because he became confused. What the hell did he want her to see? So today he is a mess and he feels grateful there is no mission for him.

Shisui checked the freshly sharpened kunai one more time before throwing it in the pile with the others. The raven haired man tsked noticing a thin line on his shuriken. He has been taking good care of his weapons and yet he managed to waste one. He tsked again and threw the shuriken in the pile with the other sharpened weapons. He looked at the sky then around him and could not help but notice how quiet and relaxing everything became. The sky is clear, the sun is warm, the wind is pleasant and the air is fresh. Everyone is quite relaxed, no explosions nearby to keep them on guard. Most of the wounded have healed. It almost feels like…peace. But peace is a piece of crap and it will most likely break into another war and all of these days will be for nothing. Shisui finished sharpening another kunai, this time the weapon had no defects, making him feel proud of his well kept collection of deadly weapons. Really, what is wrong with him?

Shisui kneed down and started gathering his weapons into a backpack, nicely sorting them in different compartments. He even had time to clean his backpack and let it dry up under the sun. Now it smells better and he does not feel like he is carrying a bag of corpses on his back. These activities kept his mind busy and away from her.

"There is something strange about you," Itachi noticed seeing Shisui whistling on his own while cleaning his stuff. "Have you had something to drink?" he insisted.

"Water."

That was not it, Itachi concluded seeing his cousin and best friend in such a good mood. Shisui never whistles. Nothing good happened other than a quiet day. And even so, Shisui doesn't whistle. Never.

Sakura messed him up completely. It was bad enough he began to doubt her and what they had but now she even made him doubt himself. And he cannot shake the feeling off because he never dealt with anything similar. He has no confidence anymore because Sakura won't open up. She simply won't give him a single word of reassurance. She lets him struggle on his own like the heartless witch she is. It is hard for him to deal with feelings as strong as these. He didn't even realize when he started seeing her in a different way.

"Ever dated?" Shisui asked getting up with the backpack in his hand. He knows Itachi has a secret relationship with Izumi so if Itachi lies he will just keep on asking anyway.

"A little…" Itachi answered surprised by Shisui's question. They are friends but they never talked about women before. Shisui was never the kind of person to care about dating and everything the man did was superficial.

"Have you ever been jealous?" Shisui continued. If he cannot ask Itachi then he cannot ask anyone else. For the sake of putting out the fire inside him he must sacrifice a little of his pride. Sakura crushed most of it anyway.

Itachi didn't want to answer but under Shisui's eyes he felt he had a duty to do it. "A few times but…"

"And did it make you angry?" Shisui cut off Itachi's excuse as he didn't care for it.

"I guess…" Itachi looked away. Shisui's interrogation is really heavy and this is not a topic he likes. Especially since it comes from the coldest man in the camp who never liked another person. And his relationship is a secret and nobody should know about it.

"How did you get over it?"

"Shisui, how about you speak with her and clear things up?" Itachi sighed. His personal life is no example to others and he is not exactly the best person to help Shisui.

"I can't," he said and walked ahead. If he could talk with Sakura he wouldn't be here asking Itachi. "She is free to do whatever she wants." She doesn't belong to him. She doesn't want to be his.


"So annoying," Sakura growled throwing some bandages in their rightful box. Today they received supplies and only her, Ino and Hinata are there to arrange everything in the medical tent. They have to sort them and place them in easy to reach places so in case of emergency they know where to go. "Out of all days, they chose to arrive today, when we are the only ones here."

"You sure are in a bad mood today," Ino concluded observing Sakura mistreating the bandages. "What is wrong?"

"Nothing, Ino!" she road. "Mind your business." Sakura threw the last bandage in the box and left with it to place it closer to the rest of the supplies. She is angry. After a bad sleep and a lot of thinking she is ready to wipe the Uchiha clan. Sasuke dared to propose empty sex although he knew her feelings. Shisui dared to leave her like that with no explanation. Damn bastards!

"Guess her period came," Ino said making Hinata blush. The girl looked down so her bangs could cover her face and her embarrassment. "Relax. We are both women."

Sakura returned just in time to see Ino more concerned with Hinata than work. "Hey pig, if you are not up to work get out."

The three kept silence and minded their work. Sakura sighed growing annoyed. Why did he simply leave like that? She knows her fault and she regrets it but the Shisui she knows wouldn't give up because of her feelings. If her feelings were important to begin with they wouldn't have done anything! Sakura placed down an empty box and started folding more bandages. She thinks of him more often and it is infuriating how she cares so much about him. She isn't even close to him so why bother so much?

"What is wrong with this silence," she muttered looking around. The tent is literarily empty and the silence is making her think. She doesn't want to think!

"Watch it," Ino threatened. "I prefer this than fighting."

Sakura looked over her shoulder at her friend who was still glaring at her. "That is because you didn't do much," she bit back.

Ino smashed the box on the ground completely annoyed and ready to throw Sakura a punch right in the nose. "What is wrong with you? If you have only bad things to say, get out!" the girl growled pointing to the exit.

Hurt by Ino's outrage, Sakura closed her mouth and focused her attention on work. They don't understand her. Nobody understands what she is going through right now. Even she has problems understanding.

"I prefer peace," Hinata said to Ino as she was the only one capable of carrying a decent conversation. Sakura, who was there but counting the bottles of medicine, focused her hearing on their conversation so she was not left out. Hinata wanted to say more but knowing that people could hear her, she left it only to that. She never killed a man during their fights, just knocking them out as she was never capable of assuming responsibility for taking lives. She does not want blood on her hands and she is not ready, nor will she ever be, to carry the image of those whom she killed. Having nightmares and seeing those men dead because of her are images she does not want in her mind.

"I miss those days back in the village," Ino said daydreaming at the mornings her mom would wake her up and tell her she has to go to the academy.

"Maybe soon," Sakura interfered although she was not part of that conversation. Although annoying, she misses her father's unsalted jokes and her mother's embarrassing foolishness. How many times have they embarrassed her in front of Kakashi because they could not fully understand the job of a shinobi?

"Say, have you met you friend who isn't your friend or lover and maybe a senpai but not quite?" Ino asked remembering about Shisui.

"Last night."

"Oh, do share," Ino said biting her lips excited. There is chemistry between the two, there is no denying it so why is Sakura so oblivious?

"Told ya, we are not like that." Sakura closed the box with medicine and carried it further in the tent until she found a safe spot to deposit it. Being a big tent, they have to deposit medicine and bandages in several locations to be easier to reach in time. She cannot tell Ino or Hinata she is a sleeping with Shisui. What would they think? First she gave her heart to Sasuke and now is giving even her body to a man she is not close to? They will judge.

"Really?" Ino enquired checking the list of supplies they received. She knows Sakura wouldn't do anything with their senpai but for some reason she has doubts. "That's a pity." Hinata quietly listened to the conversation, not up to date with whom they were speaking of. All she knew was that Sakura liked Sasuke but given that they are the same age, he is definitely not the senpai Ino was mentioning.

"Told you before, you can have Sasuke."

"I don't want him."

A nerve pulsed on Sakura's forehead, annoyed again at her friend. "Really, pig? Now you play this game?"

"Shut up! I am not playing anything. I just…" she blushed looking away from Sakura, "…might have found someone else… That's all."

"Oh," Sakura exclaimed calming down. "That is very wise." Sasuke is a jerk and he does not deserve a decent girl. Remembering last night and she gets angry all over again!

The two remained in silence as they minded their own business. Ino was boiling hoping Sakura would ask her more because she wants to tell everything, unlike her friend. However, Sakura did not ask anything about this new guy. She obviously wanted to know but at the same time she did not want to put pressure on Ino the same way the blond put on her. If she wants to say, she will say it without her forcing the woman to speak.

"Who?" Hinata asked lifting the rock from Ino's heart. She is really curious.

"Sai…" she whispered right away.

"From one jerk to another?" Sakura exclaimed and realized only after that she put it the wrong way. But seriously, Sai is a jerk and makes bad jokes and sexually harasses everyone! "Sorry," Sakura said raising her palm to stop Ino from barking back. "It went out wrong. I wanted to say he is difficult sometimes." Extremely annoying and unbearable, actually.

"I like his truthfulness. It is rare these days."

Ino's words silenced Sakura. If she puts it like that, although painful to hear, Sai does say only the truth.

"So are you dating?" Hinata kept on asking.

Sakura snorted as an answer in Ino's place. "Date? We are in the middle of hell. Dating is a little out of place." If fighting together can be considered dating, then she has been dating Shisui too. And it is funny cause they have no relationship or reason to date. And now it is really sad cause they are strangers…

"True…we didn't label our relationship but we do see each other." The three girls remained in silence, thinking of what they could've done if it weren't for the war.

"Then what do you do?" Hinata continued really curious.

The question was for Ino but Sakura froze still and felt ashamed of herself. She is really embarrassed because of this topic but she must not show it.

"Nothing….much…" Ino blushed and covered her face with her hands. Hearing Sakura snort behind her made Ino forget embarrassment and turn towards her friend. "What? Got anything to say?" she growled.

"No, am sure you guys just talk." And she has no doubts but her words made Ino defensive.

"Yes, as if meeting with Shisui-senpai in the middle of the night is more decent."

Hinata blushed and turned around. Sakura is meeting a much older man than she was expecting and the way Ino put it is making her feel bad. She made no progress with Naruto and her friends already have boyfriends.

"Quiet pig, someone could hear you." But she didn't deny anything.


Shisui finished his sake as soon as he got it. He sat and before Itachi could do the same the bottle was already half empty. Today was a very normal day and he hates it. He cannot stand peace anymore! If he doesn't crush something his feelings will crush him. He is sick of thinking about Sakura and his feelings. Before that witch, he used to live a really quiet life with only a few feelings guiding his life. Now he feels fear, doubt, jealousy and worse of all he feels powerless. He simply cannot understand Sakura and he cannot understand why he even bothers. The girl is a total mess and she doesn't need him in her life!

"Who is she?" Itachi asked as he started to eat. He wanted to keep everything a mystery but he burns to know who managed to warm Shisui's heart. There are a few kunoichi he can think of that would really look good next to Shisui.

Shisui carefully considered his next words. He is not ashamed to say it is Sakura - she put him through worse - but he is aware of the age gap between them. He doesn't want to give her a bad reputation and he doesn't want to seem too interested in her. He is Uchiha Shisui after all.

The man lost his chance to answer as Sakura and her friends sat across the table. She made sure to sit right in front of Shisui, aiming for the spot the moment she saw him. She asked Ino and Hinata to sit with her there and asked them to act natural. Sakura wants to sit close to him and talk. They never truly talk and it is annoying.

"The tee is decent," Ino commented spooning it. God, she is, thrilled! Sakura actually asked them to sit with her senpai-but-not-quite! She'd be damned if she lost a chance to see Sakura embarrass herself in front of a much older man. So exciting!

Sakura silently nodded and kept looking at her meal. She is not confident enough to make their eyes meet. He might not appreciate her presence there. So why did she even ask everyone to sit there? Did she think that Shisui will throw his meal aside and lean over the table to kiss her? Well, it is not like she wants a kiss and she doesn't really care what he does but it would be nice. She could say something but she doesn't want to seem too interested in his life.

She was not wrong. The moment she sat in front of him his mind froze. He couldn't answer Itachi anymore and he couldn't even look away from his food. He stiffened up like a rock. There were other tables so why sit with him? Shisui mentally cursed. What is she thinking?

"So?" Itachi insisted growing curious. He completely ignored the girls sitting across them, although he nodded in recognition to Ino and Hinata, as they were the only ones to look at him. Itachi didn't even notice how Shisui froze still with the chopsticks in his hand.

"Not now," Shisui answered and looked up to make sure Sakura didn't catch their conversation. At that moment she also happened to look towards him and when their eyes locked, everything around them vanished. They silently stared at each other, both of them burning to say something.

Itachi didn't need more. It was quite easy for him to read the long stare between Shisui and Sakura to understand what his cousin got himself into. At this point he doesn't even want to know because what those two have is not exactly legal or acceptable. He knows, or hopes, Shisui kept his hands to himself but if he didn't he really doesn't want to know. As a former police officer and as a future clan leader, he is better off not charging his friend with anything.