THE INNER BATTLE.
I can't sleep! How can I possibly sleep like this? Ignoring the strong urge to shut her eyes, Kyoko cursed her luck.
She almost missed the times when Ren used to sleep covered in layers of quilt, because this was nothing short of a nightmare for her.
After she let Ren hug her in the hallway, since he was literally shaking, Kyoko let him guide her back to their room, where he landed on their bed with his arms still around her.
Until now, between them there used to be an invisible wall at the centre of their bed at night, and they never crossed it knowing their boundaries. Ren even thickened this wall by wrapping himself in his blanket.
Now, however, it seemed like he had let go of every pinch of sanity within him, as he lay there with one of his arm resting below her head, and the other across her chest. Kyoko had never been so still.
She was thinking that even the slightest of movement would wake him up and he would open his eyes. And the last thing she wanted was his eyes upon her when they were literally tangled together.
Besides everything, she was also a bit relieved since his trembling had finally subsided.
What was even that? She wondered. No matter how much she racked her brains, she realized she could not figure out what made Ren so afraid like that all of a sudden. No, it wasn't sudden. He hadn't been himself for a while.
Kyoko could have easily made an excuse when he asked her to hug him, but she didn't. She couldn't, because she had that feeling again. It was more like a premonition. She somehow knew that if she didn't held on to Ren, then he would fade away.
Almost like that time when he first fought those thugs. Or when he grinned so maliciously in the middle of the act without even realizing. She had a similar feeling back then too, but she convinced herself that it was all an act. That it was Cain, or BJ. But it was neither.
It was like there's another person inside of Ren who's completely opposite of him, and Ren is trying so hard to hold on, but this other being is constantly trying to push him away. Maybe, that's why Kyoko had this nagging feeling that he would fade away.
After contemplating on it for a while, there was one thing Kyoko was able to figure out. Whatever it was Ren was dealing with, it all only started after they began portraying the Heels.
There was nothing unusual the next morning. Kyoko, ignoring the desperate need of sleep after spending one more night wide awake, was somehow able get up and drag her body to the kitchen where she made a healthy meal for Ren. She was almost done with the breakfast when Ren, or more like Cain woke up. He never even indicated that last night happened since he was completely back to normal.
They remained fully in character and never uttered a word in japanese. They were the Heels through and through. As much as Kyoko was happy to see Ren well enough to maintain his character again, she couldn't help but wonder what was wrong with him in the first place. Whatever it was, it only started after Tragic Marker, so she decided to look into it once she got time.
They ate while talking about casual things: things which the Heels would ordinarily talk about. Neither of them bought up the obvious change in Ren last night. Kyoko wanted to do so, but it seemed to her that Ren didn't wanna talk about it so she didn't probe him.
After they were done, both siblings changed out of their night clothes before setting out for the studio. The minute Cain laid eyes on Setsuka wearing another of her revealing outfits, he frowned. His eyes lingering on her creamy tapering legs.
Reaching into her cupboard, he took out a pair of jeans. "Here! Put these on."
Kyoko barely hid her surprise. Even though she was glad to wear jeans instead of shorts, she thought Setsu would put up more of a fight before obliging.
"Why? You never cared before what I wore!"
"That was different. While we're here, I want you to wear this."
"Why?" Setsu crossed her arms defiantly, still not accepting the jeans from her Cain.
"That's because... You won't understand."
"Stop treating me like a child! I'm gonna wear want I want!"
"Setsu," his tone softened. "Aren't you gonna listen to me? You know you look cute in everything. Just put these on."
With her lips still puckering to the sides, Setsu gave in, holding the pair of jeans. "Alright."
Stepping out of the bathroom, now in jeans, she found Cain waiting for her by the door, fully dressed in his costume.
They walked out together as she joined him, though she kept muttering how unfair it was. "I just don't understand! Why now?"
Cain halted. Looking her in the eye, he decided to answer her honestly. "Because if I didn't make you wear those, that pervert Murasame would just keep staring at you!"
The Director welcomed them in the dressing room with such extreme politeness as if they were doing him a favour just by being there.
"Thank you for being here so early. BJ's special makeup might take time, that's why I had to call you before everyone else." Konoe explained. "Come in, the staff is so curious to meet you."
As he led the two inside, Cain suddenly stopped, turning to Setsu. "Go back to the room and get some rest."
"Why?" She frowned.
"I think these stylists will at least take a few hours. There's nothing for you to do but wait. Its better if you go back and rest."
Setsuka shook her head defiantly. "I won't." She puckered her lower lip. "I wanna be with you."
"Setsu!" It was a soft sigh. "Why do have you have to be so stubborn?" There was no anger when he said it, only tenderness. He reached for her cheek and caressed it with the back of his hand. "Your eyes are so red. You didn't get any sleep, did you? If you don't want me constantly worried, then go and rest, please."
So he noticed, Kyoko looked down. She had no idea how she was able to stand. It was a miracle she could play her character when her body was so desperately craving sleep.
"As for me," he went on. "I'm perfectly fine now. Trust me. I'll be just okay."
With her head still low, she nodded. "Okay. I'll go."
"That's my girl." He patted her head with a smile.
With final glance at the whole makeup team, who were looking at the two of them with wide eyes and blushed countenances, she left the room.
On her way back, Ren's words kept ringing in her mind.
As for me, I'm perfectly fine now.
It was proof that Kyoko wasn't over thinking or just imagining things. There was something seriously wrong with Ren last night and he knew it as well. Which was why he assured her that.
Kyoko was dead set on confronting him about it this morning, but the minute she woke him up, he just flipped the Cain Heel switch on and started talking in his heavily accented english. Of course she had no choice but to reply as Setsu.
There was something else Kyoko sensed back then. It was as if Ren knew she would ask him about last night so he deliberately avoided it by being Cain Heel. Like he was telling her through his eyes not to pry and mind her own business.
If that's what he wants, then sure. I wouldn't ask him, she thought. But that didn't mean she wouldn't try to find out about it herself.
Clicking shut the door behind her, Kyoko wanted nothing more than to jump on the bed and doze off, but that would have to wait, as she might not get another chance as this one to be alone on this set.
Taking out her cellphone, she dialed Yashiro.
Since the Tragic Marker shoot had started, the manager had a lot of free time to spend. He was enjoying a long warm bath at his apartment when his phone started ringing.
Putting on a robe, he ran out of the bathroom just to answer the phone, hoping it might be Ren or the President assigning him some other work as he was tired of having nothing to do.
It was neither, yet the manager wasn't disappointed.
"Kyoko," he smiled.
"Good morning. I didn't wake you up, did I?"
"Oh no. How's the shoot going? How's Ren?"
"Everything's fine."
"Good to know. Anyway, what's up? Since you're calling so early, it must be something important."
"Not really," she hesitated. "Actually, the question might strike you as odd, but there's something I wanted to ask you. Its about Ren."
"What about him?"
"Um... Did... did something happen? I mean–" Her voice was suddenly cut off after a beep. Yashiro glanced at his phone and read the following message on screen:
Low Battery. Shutting Down.
Dammit, I forgot to charge it!
Meanwhile, after her call was suddenly disconnected, Kyoko called him again only to realize that his phone was off.
As much as she didn't want to call the President, he was the only other alternative she had. Besides, she had always suspected that Takarada knew Ren better than anyone, but that went for everyone, as the President knew everything about everyone.
With a resigned sigh, she called him anyway, hoping she might finally get some answers.
Takarada was reading a novel while stretching on the sunlounger in the conservatory of his mansion when his phone started vibrating.
As much as he hated to be interrupted, he still picked up his phone since it was his private cell and people called him on this only on very important occasions.
When it turned out to be Kyoko, he smiled. It was a sad smile. "Would you look at that? She finally called."
Pressing the phone to his ear, he answered, "hello? Mogami?"
"Hello. I- I'm so sorry for disturbing y–"
"Nevermind that. I was up anyway. What's the matter?" He was straight to point.
Kyoko hesitated. "Um..."
"I know it's something urgent, since you called this early. So talk. Did something happen to Ren?"
"Nothing happened to him... yet." It was confirmation enough for Takarada that Kyoko had called him about what he had been suspecting.
"Go on."
"He had been behaving... strangely."
"How strange are we taking about?"
"I'm not really sure how to put it. Sometimes, he looks worried and something scared. He's so lost that it feels like if I left him alone for even a minute, he would just vanish into nothing." Realizing that she had just voiced her thoughts, Kyoko blushed. Her mind was alert again. "What I was trying to say is–"
"I understand."
"You do? It all started since Tragic Marker. He's been out of sorts for that long. If I'm not mistaken that it could be something serious."
"You're not mistaken."
"Do you know anything about this, Mr President?"
"Well, it's not that I don't know. However, I can't really tell you You'll first need to get Ren's permission."
"So I can't ask what it is?" Her brows furrowed.
Takarada hesitated. "I can't tell you the details but I can let you know this much at least. That guy is fighting a battle within himself right now."
Kyoko was suddenly reminded of that time when Ren had forcefully eaten those awful Omurice. To watch him struggle that way, Kyoko had thought of something similar.
"And he intends to win," the President went on. "Though what he doesn't understand is that it's not a matter of winning or losing. But Ren hates his opponent too much to realize this."
The words went flying over Kyoko's head. "His opponent?"
"His own self."
Now, she was even more confused than before. She wished the President would stop being so vague and instead of sending these cryptic messages he would be straight forward for once. "It just feels like he's someone else."
"That's because he still doesn't seem to understand. Not everything is about winning or losing. It's easy to let things end in a draw. Sometimes, it could be the only option. That doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing." Takarada sighed. "As for you, he needs you to be there for him while he tries to conquer his own self."
"Me?" She exclaimed. "You want me to handle this alone?"
"Obviously. That's the whole reason I assigned you this job. I suspected things would turn out like this. Your work is to look after him, remember?"
"I thought you meant it about his meals! This is so different! How can I take care of him when I've no idea what's bothering him?"
"Oh you don't have to do anything at all. Just keep doing what you're doing."
"What does that mean?"
"This is Ren's fight, so he'll have to do this alone. You only have to stay by his side as Setsu."
"Ha? What does that even mean? How would that help him?"
"It would. Have a little faith in him."
She sighed. "Alright. I'll believe in him."
"That's all you need to do. So? Is there anything else? Anything at all?" The President waited in anticipation.
The image from last night of the two of them enclosed into each other's arms popped in Kyoko's mind. She pushed it away. "No. There's nothing else." She had tried to sound relaxed so that the President wouldn't suspect anything, but to her surprise, her voice sounded a lot more steady than she could have imagined.
The call disconnected and while Kyoko finally got ready for sleep, Takarada anxiously frowned making a face. He had expected Kyoko to sound at least a little nervous in the end, but there was nothing in her tone.
The reason why he had assinged her this job was because Ren needed her beside him. But the reason he had made the character of Setsuka so outrageously flirty and romantic who because that's exactly what Kyoko needed. After spending one year in the Love Me Division, there was no improvement in her love life whatsoever, and so he took matters into his own hand.
He was ready to spoon-feed her love if he had to just to achieve some kind of a break though. He knew he needed to do something for her. Yet, it seemed like after spending so many nights alone with one of the most desired young men out there, she was still not remotely affected.
Mogami, what do I do with you? He slapped his forhead. If this wouldn't work, the President didn't know what would.
"Murasame! Did you see him?" Manaka cried out. "He looks so terrifying! I'm definitely gonna have nightmares!"
Murasame turned to see Cain Heel making an entrance. Like before, he still had the creepy BJ outfit on, but his murderous intent was now seeping out of him with the addition of the special makeup. His silver eyes still twinkling, his face was covered in deep, yet old and dried scars.
Manaka stifled a scream. "He looks like a real death reaper!"
"Can't agree more." Murasame nodded.
For the briefest of moments, their eyes met, and Cain instantly sent him a hateful sneer.
It was nearly 1:00 p.m. when Kyoko snapped out of her dreamless sleep. To her, it seemed like she had just dozed off only for a couple of minutes.
When her eyes finally landed on the clock, she exclaimed, racing against time to get ready as soon as possible and reach the set.
Seriously Kyoko, after everything that happened last night, how could you leave him alone for so long?
She had to stop and check several studios on her way to see where they were shooting. And when she finally did reach the correct one, to her shock, it was a pandemonium. There was a huge commotion going on with almost everyone shouting at the same time in the midst of all the chaos.
She couldn't even catch their words to know what was going on. But she didn't need to, because pretty soon, she saw the blood. A couple of crew members lay bleeding on the floor.
Following the eyes of the rest of the team, whom she had never seen so freaked out before, she looked up at the ceiling from which a prop was hanging, and Murasame was being strangled there. He was dangling from about twenty feet about to fall off. His life resting solely in the hands of his opponent who was strangling him: and it was Ren. To Kyoko's horror, his lips were stretched into that disturbing grin once again.