I'm so emotional right now, because it's the last chapter of this book. So please, leave as many comments as possible, since it's my favorite hobby to read your reviews.
KYOKO'S EMBRACE
"Well then," Takarada began, once all three of his visitors were comfortably seated. "The reason I called you here today is because there's something important I have to tell Ren." He turned to Kyoko. "It's about Mogami."
Kyoko's heart sank. Why did she allow herself to hope in the first place? She looked down, embracing herself for the worst.
"Ren, about Mogami, you see," The President went on, "I'm considering giving Setsuka a break for a while."
What? Kyoko looked up again.
Ren frowned. "Why? What would the others think when if suddenly disappears?"
"You don't have to worry about that. From the standpoint of the scenario, you could just say that your sister has gone back to england for a while," he glanced at Kyoko. "Yesterday, when I came to the set, I noticed how you were doing much better than before. I assigned Mogami to you because this was a challenging job. But now, since it seems you can manage to be by yourself, she'll not be joining you for a while."
"I can manage on my own," Ren affirmed. "But..."
"Well, it's only for a short while," Takarada assured him. "It's because of some personal reasons of Kyoko," he shot her a glance making her sit up straighter. "Say Mogami, you didn't tell Ren?"
Before she could start panicking again, the President answered for her.
"She can't join you because she'll be occupied elsewhere. Her final exams are starting soon."
Kyoko let out a breathe which she didn't realize she had been holding. So that's what he had been talking about. He wasn't gonna tell Ren after all? She heaved a sigh of relief, when she realized that all three pairs of eyes were looking at her expectantly.
"Um, y-yes," she croaked. "They're starting next week." In reality, she had totally forgotten about them. If the President didn't remind her, she might even have missed them. Being so swamped with work, she hadn't studied at all. Yet, she didn't start panicking about her upcoming exams because she was so relieved that the President wasn't telling Ren about that thing.
"In that case, Kyoko, you do deserve a break," Ren smiled at her, but she made sure not to look him in the eye. "After all, you also have that other drama to shoot."
"Right," Takarada nodded. "As for you Ren, take care of yourself. Jelly is gonna keep an eye on you from afar, so do not even think about skipping your meals."
"I won't," he sighed.
Kyoko shot another glance to the President. She wished if he was planning on telling Ren after all, he would just do it quickly like the ripping of band-aid and get it over with instead of putting her in this tormenting anticipation.
"Well, that's all," Takarada said, and all of them got up.
Ren and Yashiro exchanged parting words with the President before turning to leave. Kyoko used this opportunity to slip out as well, but before she could make it, Takarada stopped her. "Mogami, not you. I still have to talk to you. Could you spare a moment."
She flinched. "Of course." She slid back on the couch opposite the President. After they heard the door click shut, he began.
"So, you do know why I've called you here, don't you?" Before she could formulate an answer, he went on, "it's white day!"
"Huh?" Kyoko looked up. She was baffled to hear the President talking about this completely random and unexpected thing, but she was cool with it as long as they weren't talking about the other thing. Maybe she had been worrying for nothing, because now it seemed to her that Takarada didn't know about it after all. If he had, he would have already started talking about it.
"White day, it's today!" The President grinned. "I was expecting you to show at least a little bit of excitement, but you didn't, even when you saw Ren."
"Wait. What's White day again?" She was sure she had heard about it somewhere but she couldn't remember.
"Are you kidding me? It's an important part of Valentine! Just as it's a tradition for girls to give away chocolates on Valentine's day, White day is the day when they get some sort of a return gift from the guys they like."
Now she remembered. She had heard about it countless times in school as all the girls were excited to get presents from the guys they had given chocolates to, but Kyoko never had anything to do with this particular day because Sho was the only person whom she would give Valentine's chocolates to, and him being the cheapskate that he was, he never gave her a return gift. Not on White day, or any other day. Not even once!
Pushing the memory of Sho aside, she frowned at the President. "Why would I be excited? And what does it have to do with Ren?"
"You need me to spell everything out for you?" Takarada sighed. "It's only natural for you to expect some sort of gift from him. How strange it was for you to see him and not even show a little excitement, considering the fact that you're in love with him."
The words hit her like a tight slap. He knew! He did not just know, he was so sure about it that he didn't even bother confirming it. He just stated it like it was a fact. Looks like I'll have to come up with a bargaining chip after all, she thought, making a sour face. But I can't think of anything! Is this the end for me?
The President lit a cigar and took a long whiff from it as he scrutinized her with his perceptive brown eyes. "Mogami, you don't have to be scared. I'll not say anything to Ren."
She looked up. "You won't?"
"No."
Her eyes narrowed. "You're not lying to me, are you?"
"Why would I lie?"
"Because it's you! How could you possibly not be tempted to interfere and play Cupid like you usually do? I know you can't wait to strip it all bare and flash it in the open!"
"You're making me sound like a bad guy," he chuckled.
"I'm not joking! Isn't it all just a game to you? The Love Me member no. 1 finally elevating the ranks, ending up exactly where you wanted her?"
"I'm indeed happy to see you grow," Takarada affirmed. "But I'll only be your Cupid if you ask me to be. Otherwise, as much as I'm tempted to interfere, I won't butt in, I swear. Honestly though, I wish you'd ask for my help. You know how much I love love. And your love story has so much potential. Nothing makes me happier than bringing two people together who are meant for each other."
"Meant for each other?" Kyoko scoffed. As if Ren could ever look at her that way! "There's nothing between us!"
"And you intend to keep it that way? You don't want things to develop?"
"Not even a little! I want everything to stay exactly as it is!"
"I'll ask you again. Are you sure you don't want Ren finding out about your feelings for him? More importantly, can you yourself keep pretending that there's nothing every time you see him?"
"That's right! I'll not even let him suspect."
"Even if that means Ren falling in love with someone else?"
She made no answer.
"Before you make your mind, I want you to imagine something," Takarada leaned forward. His tone was suddenly frighteningly soft and hushed. "Imagine Ren dressed up like a groom in a crisp tuxedo, standing at the alter. You can see the love in his eyes, because it's not an act. It's genuine. The bride appears in a beautiful wedding gown. She makes her way down the aisle. And guess what, it's not you. Because you're standing in the side along with the other guests. Will you still be able to hide what's in your heart? You'll watch them kiss. Would you be able to keep smiling as you offer them your blessings? Are you sure you won't break down?"
Kyoko didn't speak for a long moment. She gulped. The bile that was beginning to rise in her throat was pushed down and also the sobs that were threatening to bubble out along with it.
"Of course," she said at last. "I'd stake my pride as an actress on it. I'll look him in the eye and give him my most convincing smile as I'll offer him my blessings."
For a moment, Takarada's eyes widened. He was wondering how could she be so strong when he saw the tears making their way out. Her eyes flooded. She tried to keep her face poker, but once the moisture poured out, she broke down. She hid her face, titling it down. Her body quivered as she wept.
"This is why I hate love!" Her voice trembled. She clenched her fists, managing the words between her silent whimpers. "Not only did it make me a fool, it also robbed me of my senses and my talent making me an utter failure! I sure am pathetic!"
Takarada put his half-burnt cigar in the ashtray, and crossed his arms. "I understand the part about turning into a fool. People do crazy things in love. But a failure? What on earth led you to such a conclusion?"
After a long pause, she spoke, "he once told me that falling in love is just not an option for him." She wiped her tear-stained face from the hem of her sleeve without looking up. "He made it sound like he was not allowed to have someone important, as if he believed he had lost the right to be happy." Fresh tears emerged in her eyes and trickled down on her lap. "That's what made me believe that I'll be okay, since he's not planning on being with anyone. I was so consumed with my own inner peace that for a moment I almost wished for him to stay alone." Her silent weeping turned into choked sobbing spasms. "How can I be selfish enough to think something so horrible? How can I claim to love him after that?"
As Kyoko bawled her eyes out, Takarada rang the desk bell summoning Sebastian, and when he appreared, the President silently motioned him to bring something.
A minute later, the secretary reappeared with a mirror which he handed to Takarada before taking his leave.
Kyoko didn't even notice him as she blubbered uncontrollably, muttering, "to think I actually wished him something so cruel! Why do I have to be so weak and helpless? I'm just a selfish fool! A horrible person!"
The President patiently waited for a long while as she continued to wail. At last, he called out to her. "Mogami." He placed the mirror on the table right in front of her. "In your hands, you hold the curtains of the stage that has the potential to turn into one of the most elegant love stories out there. However, no matter how good the story is, it doesn't matter if you don't open the stage. Are you gonna pull open the curtain or will you take you hand back and leave it? The choice is yours."
Kyoko withdrew her hands from her eyes and slowly looked up to see her own reflection on the mirror. Her entire face was red and blotchy. She wondered what she was supposed to do. Wouldn't pulling the curtain mean acknowledging her love? But that would only make these meticulously suppressed feelings sprout and grow. And the stronger her love, the stronger her jealousy would be as there was no way she could ever have him.
No! I can't let my jealousy grow! She thought desperately, remembering how she so cruelly wished Ren to be alone, all because of her envy. She flinched down, a fresh supply of tears trickling down her tightly shut eyes. She was scared. Scared to end up being that horrible selfish person.
"Don't look away," Takarada ordered. "I want you see yourself. Remember these feelings inside you and carve them into your brain. One day, you'll need to use this experience and channel these emotions for a role."
Kyoko lifted her head back. Her face looked ugly because of all the crying. But besides the obvious tears, she could see the pain in her hazel eyes. She could see the longing, and the desires, and the suffering. Most importantly, she could see the love.
"Most of the times, you can play a part without any specific training," Takarada said. "You can just make do with your imagination. But some scenes can't be portrayed without prior experience. That is why I'm asking you to pay attention and engrave these feelings in your mind. There's nothing meaningless in your life. Because every experience you've ever had, every tear you've shed, it'll all take you closer to your goal and make you a top actress."
Kyoko realized how right he was. The only reason the characters she played had so much impact was because of all the experiences she had. Whether it was Sho's betrayal or her mother's abandonment, it all played a part in making her a better actress. A better villain to be precise, because of all the pain she had endured.
"I leaned from Swara that when you first came to this agency, you didn't even care about acting. You just wanted to make it big. Yet, look at you now. You met Ren, and he became your role model. Now, acting is the most important thing in your life. Think back to all those little moments that led up to this day."
Kyoko obliged, remembering the first time she had met Ren. They had bumped into each other outside Swara's office and she had blurted out to him about revenge being her motive for acting.
She had thought he hated her, so he ended up hating him back. But slowly and eventually, she got to know the real him, and her hate was transformed into respect and then into love. Her eyes welled up again.
"Looking back, when you think about these little moments that had sprouted your love for Ren, you do realize that's how you ended up becoming such a great actress. Do you still regret falling for him? Can you really pretend like none of it ever happened?"
Instead of answering, Kyoko choked out yet another sob. Her face becoming wet with tears all over again. "I- I- I have n- no other ch- choice. I never in- intended to f- fall for him." She paused to catch her breath. "I can't ignore these feelings, but I've chosen to love him from afar. Even if that means giving my blessing to him while he picks someone else. Until that day comes, I'll make myself ready by becoming a better actress." She picked up the mirror and stared at her reflection, studying it.
Takarada leaned back in his seat. There was no more pushing her. At least for now. "Since you've made your decision, I won't force you out of it. Though there is something I'd like to ask you. Just out of curiosity, when exactly did you fall in love with Ren?"
"I'm not exactly sure when," she answered, putting the mirror back. Now that she thought about it, she could not think of a single time when she was not in love with Ren, until the answer finally struck her. It was around that time when she first told him about Corn and showed him her magic rock. He had taken it from her and pressed a kiss on the stone, and this sudden feeling had flared up inside her heart. From that day onwards, this feeling had continuously grown, only to be supressed by her. She had no choice but to acknowledge it now because it was overflowing out of her. "I think it began after Katsuki's audition, but I always lied to myself thinking if I'd just ignore this feeling then it'll go away."
The President suddenly sprang up and slammed his fists on the table. "What? That long!" He had waited for this day for months, and he only noticed it yesterday when Ren suddenly hugged her in the middle of the act. He was positive it was a result of his plan to force Kyoko into playing Setsuka.
However, finding out that Kyoko had been in love for such a long time, and her acting skills were so top notch that she not only fooled him successfully but also fooled herself! For him, who prided himself because of his highly perceptive abilities, it was a source of shame and embarrassment to be fooled by a young girl, specially in the matter of love. He couldn't hide his sour face and disappointment.
After Kyoko took her leave, Takarada pondered on how he had been fooled for the first time in his life. He didn't like the feeling. Although, he didn't feel like sulking either, instead he felt partly amused. To think such an actress existed who could even fool him, he couldn't wait to see her reach the top.
Keeping her acting skills in mind, it would be a long while before Ren figured it out about Kyoko's feelings. As much as Takarada was dying to tell him, he couldn't butt in without Kyoko's permission.
For now, he'd just have to wait and watch how their story would unfold.
END OF BOOK ONE.
Dear Awesome Readers,
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