A/N: Hey guys! I know it's been awhile, and I apologize! Life has been crazy, but I finally finished this chapter! There will probably only be one more chapter/epilogue after this! I really hope you are all enjoying this story! Thank you so much for sticking with me!
Disclaimer: I do not own Chicago Fire or its characters.
Chapter 4:
Boden was left speechless so Donna asked, "Can we see him?" on behalf of Kidd and Casey, who were both very distraught and being comforted by the other members of firehouse 51. Everyone was visibly upset, but Boden was proud of his other firefighters and paramedics who were doing their best to comfort the two who were closest to Severide.
"I'll have a nurse come get a few of you at a time to see him, but only for a few minutes." The doctor replied.
"Can somebody sit with him tonight?" Boden found his voice and asked, for Kidd and Casey's sake more than his own, or even Severide's.
"I'll have to check on that, as Mr. Severide is in a very fragile state right now."
Boden just nodded, already frustrated with the doctor.
Casey collected himself and walked outside immediately pulling out his phone and finding the name he wanted in his contacts.
It rang for a while, and Matt thought he wasn't going to pick up, but then he heard, "Halstead."
"Will, it's Matt Casey. I need you to get to Chicago Med now."
"What's wrong? Is it Kelly?"
"Yeah, some doctor discharged him yesterday, and wouldn't listen to us when we said he wasn't ready, so we had to take him home. We thought he would be okay. Me and Stella had shift today, so he was home alone, and I guess he got worse throughout the day. We had someone go check on him and they found him in bed with a high fever. They called 911 and the ambulance had to come get him. That same doctor that discharged him, Dr. Jameson, just came in and told us Kelly has pneumonia and sepsis. It's bad. He said he doesn't think Kelly will—" Casey's voice cracked, but after a second, he finished talking, "he doesn't think Kelly will make it through the night."
Halstead responded, "I'm on my way right now. I'm not in Chicago, so it might take me a little while to get there, but I'll call the nurses desk on the way and get an update. Jameson is a new doctor we hired, but I'm taking over Kelly's treatment from now on. I'll be there soon."
"Thanks, Will."
"Of course, Matt. I'll be there as soon as I can."
Casey walked back into the waiting room just as the nurse had come to get a couple of them to see Kelly.
"You and Kidd are going to see him first. We already decided. Take your time, Casey." Boden told him.
Casey just nodded, unable to say anything in fear of breaking down. He had to stay strong for Stella. She would need him now more than ever, especially if Severide—no, he wasn't even going to think like that. Severide was going to fight to come back to them.
The nurse said, "I'll take you to see Mr. Severide now."
Casey told her, "You can just call him Kelly."
He and Kidd followed the nurse to the ICU. They got to the door and Kidd froze in the doorway. Casey waited for a minute and then she turned around to face him. "I don't know what to do, Casey. I want to go in… I need to go in. But what if he doesn't make it? I can't do this, and raise this baby—" she choked up, but then continued, "without him."
"Stella, I know it's terrifying and almost impossible to think about our lives without him here, but you don't have to right now. He's strong and he's going to fight this. You know all of us at the firehouse will be here for you and help you with anything you need, and we will help him get through this. Especially me. We have to encourage him and talk to him, as well as be his voice here, since he can't speak for himself. I won't ever make a mistake like the one I made when I didn't force that doctor to keep him here."
"That wasn't your fault, Casey. You didn't know—" Stella started but was cut off by Casey.
"You wanted him to stay here. I didn't back you up, and I made him think it was alright if he wanted to come home. I thought he would be okay. I should've trusted your instincts. Now, he's back in the ICU for the second time in less than a week because of me." Casey turned away from her, looking down at the floor, desperately trying to stop the tears that were beginning to fill his eyes.
Stella was trying to think of what to say to make him feel better, when she was feeling down on herself too, "I should've made the doctor keep him too. This isn't only on you."
"Kidd, don't blame yourself—"
This time Stella cut him off, starting to raise her voice, "you're blaming yourself, Casey! So you need to stop if you want me to stop. This is as much my fault as it is yours for not speaking up and getting that doctor to keep him. I won't let anything like that happen again."
"You won't have to worry about it anymore. Halstead is on his way here."
"What? He's back on shift?"
"No, I called him. He said he'll be here in a little while and he was going to call the nurses on the way in for an update and to let them know that he's taking over Kelly's treatment from now on."
Kidd had been so upset with Casey for blaming what happened on himself, but now her features softened as she felt gratitude for him always being here and willing to fight on Severide's behalf. "Thank you for calling him, Casey. I was so furious with that other doctor I hadn't even thought of that. God what am I doing? I can't even advocate for Kelly."
"Hey, don't talk like that Kidd. I know this is a lot easier said than done, but you need to be easy on yourself. A lot of stress isn't good for you or the baby. Of course, it's difficult not to have stress now, but we've got your back, Kidd. Me and everyone else from 51. Now let's go in and see Severide. Remember what Halstead said, we should talk to him, even if we don't think he can hear us. He even already proved to us that he could hear us when he heard you about the baby. We have to be his reason to fight this infection."
They went into Severide's room. Kidd and Casey both had déjà vu seeing Severide laying in the hospital bed with the ventilator breathing for him. Stella was heartbroken that Kelly was back in the same position less than a week after the first time. And she didn't want to believe that this time he was in worse condition.
Kidd took hold of his hand while Casey walked around the bed and grabbed his other hand. Stella was pleading with him to fight for her and their baby as tears rolled down her cheeks. Casey felt like he was intruding on Kidd's privacy. He stepped over to her and quietly said, "I can step out to give you some privacy if you want."
She shook her head and whispered so he could barely hear, "please stay." He just nodded and stood next to her with his hand on her shoulder, and his other hand resting on Severide's ankle.
They stood like that for a while, each taking turns talking to Severide. Then they went back out into the waiting room to let everyone else have a chance to see him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You know I love you right?" The familiar voice filled Severide's head. He was back in his old apartment, staring at the couch where he was shocked to see his late best friend and roommate, Leslie Shay.
"Shay?" he uttered, nearly speechless.
"That's all you can think to say to me after it's been this long?"
He rushed towards the couch and wrapped his arms around her.
"What—? How?" He managed to get out.
"I'm came to see you. But I also came to talk you into fighting your way back to that sweet girlfriend of yours and your baby on the way."
Severide almost laughed. "You don't need to talk me into that. I don't plan on leaving them anytime soon."
"You've got quite the fight ahead of you then. But you can't give up. Your baby needs her daddy."
"What do you mean I've got a fight ahead of me?" Severide asked, not quite remembering what had happened to him, and confused about how Shay was here. She had died years ago. It was one of the worst times of his life.
Shay kept talking, without answering his question, "Anyways, after I heard about your latest situation and stint in the hospital, I had to come see you. So, how's everything been going?"
Severide laughed and pushed all of the burning questions he had to the back of his mind. He had missed Shay so much, so even though he was confused, for now he was going to enjoy this moment and catch up with one of his best friends. He would figure out what in the hell was going on later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a couple hours later and all of Severide's family from Firehouse 51 were sitting around the waiting room. Some of them had dozed off, some of them were quietly talking to each other while others were pacing, but they were all there.
Casey had tried to get them to go home to their families, although, he would admit his attempt was pretty half-assed. Honestly, he didn't want all of them to leave him alone in the waiting room. He didn't know if he could handle being alone and left to his own thoughts.
To no one's surprise, none of them would even hear of leaving.
"We're a family, Casey. We're staying right here." Herrmann had told him.
Casey nodded and said quietly, "thank you all for everything."
"There's no need for that, Casey. We will always be here for one of our own." Boden said.
They sat in silence for a few more minutes until they saw Halstead rush by the waiting room entrance.
"Will!" Casey exclaimed, then when Halstead spun around, he added, "we're so glad to see you! Sorry to drag you away—"
"Don't even go there, Matt. You guys are my friends. I would drop anything for my favorite group of firefighters. I just got here, so I'm going to check on Kelly right now." He looked around the room, then back at Casey with a questioning look on his face.
He didn't even have to ask before Casey said, "Stella is in the room with Kelly. We had to convince Dr. Jameson to let her be back there because she's not family. Luckily April noticed what was going on and talked some sense into that doctor before I knocked him out. He wouldn't let anyone else back there to be with her either."
Halstead just shook his head, trying not to roll his eyes. "Matt, do you want to come back with me? I'm going to need you and Stella to wait in the hall while I check out what exactly is going on with Kelly, but I don't want her to be alone."
"Of course. Thanks, Will."
Boden gave Casey a pat on the back as he followed Halstead out of the waiting room and to Severide's room.
As they were walking Casey said, "Kelly got very upset and disappointed the first time we met Jameson. The guy just came into the room telling us they were discharging him and then he blurts out that Severide would need to see a surgeon for his shoulder and even then, he would probably be riding a desk until retirement if he stays in the CFD."
Halstead just rolled his eyes, "I'm not surprised. We've gotten a few small complaints about him being a little harsh, but this is unacceptable. It's gone too far this time. I'll handle it Matt."
Casey gave him a small nod and then said, "he has a torn rotator cuff and he had dislocated his shoulder. How bad is that? I've seen guys with those injuries, but never together. Jameson said they're both difficult injuries to come back from, especially in our line of work…" Casey's voice trailed off.
"I'll be honest, Matt," Casey braced himself for what Halstead was going to say next, "they are both difficult injuries to come back from. But I know Kelly is a fighter and he is strong. He's going to do everything he can to make it back to the firehouse, and I will make sure to get him in contact with the best orthopedic surgeon, once we get over this hurdle."
Casey smiled at him. Halstead's positivity was a refreshing change from Jameson's negative attitude all the time. "Thanks, Will. We all truly appreciate everything you do for us."
They nearly ran into Dr. Jameson leaving Severide's room.
"Halstead. I thought you were on vacation for a few days?" Jameson asked.
"I came back to take care of my patient." Halstead said, his voice suddenly as cold as ice.
Jameson narrowed his eyes at Halstead, looked over at Casey, then back at Halstead.
"Your patient?" Jameson said, equally as cold. "Mr. Severide is my patient now, Halstead. I'm taking care of him."
"Taking care of him?!" Halstead said through clenched teeth, trying not to start yelling. "You're the reason he's back here and in this condition." Then, he spoke to Casey, but never took his eyes off of Jameson, "Matt, you can go in with Stella, I will be in shortly."
Casey nodded and went into Severide's room.
"Oh, so they're your friends? That's why you want to take care of him."
"Yes, they're my friends, but mainly from needing to take care of at least one of them pretty often. They are the best group of firefighters in the city. Kelly is a hero! He saved a little boy in that house fire a few days ago! He should not have been discharged that soon!" He only realized he was yelling and making a scene when he noticed some of the nurses staring at him.
"That wasn't your decision to make. You weren't even here—"
Halstead then cut off Jameson, "and that is something I will regret for the rest of my life if Kelly doesn't make it through this." He had to stop himself from telling Jameson that Halstead would make him regret it if something happened to Kelly too. He couldn't take care of Kelly if he got suspended for a threat against a colleague. "I will be going to Goodwin about this." Halstead said, his tone eerily calm, before turning and walking into Severide's room.
As soon as Halstead entered the room, he saw Casey comforting Stella who was sobbing and on the verge of hyperventilating.
He gave Casey a questioning look and Casey gently shrugged his shoulders, saying, "she was like this when I came in here. She's been too upset to tell me what's wrong."
Halstead nodded and said "Stella, I need you to take a deep breath. Come on, breathe, Stella."
Kidd breathed in a shaky breath.
Casey tried to calm her, "Kidd, I know you're worried about Kelly and it's hard to see him in this condition, but Halstead is here now, and he's going to take care of Kelly."
Stella sniffled, "Dr. Jameson told… me that there's nothing else he can do… and after this… bag of fluids runs out… Kelly's heart will most likely stop…" she choked out between sobs.
Casey looked at Halstead, eyes wide.
Halstead wanted to tell Goodwin about Jameson immediately, but Kelly took priority, so he said, "Matt, take Stella in the hall or back to the waiting room. I'm going to check out what's going on with Kelly and I'll update you in a few minutes."
Casey took Kidd into the hall, not wanting to go back to the waiting room until they had Halstead's update on Kelly. Casey didn't want to have to tell everyone what Jameson just told Kidd—at least until they knew for sure.
A few minutes later Halstead came out of Severide's room and Casey noticed the look on his face before he slipped on a doctor's poker face. Kidd had been zoned out, but Casey saw it. It hadn't been an expression of hope. Casey hated the poker face. He'd seen it plenty of times before. In too many heartbreaking situations. Hell, as much as he didn't like it, he'd even used it himself before. Sometimes working his job, you just had to.
But that expression did nothing to ease the worry and tension that had settled deep in the pit of Casey's stomach. Halstead approached them, and Casey braced himself for what he was about to hear.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"…then Mouch got him back by dumping a truckload of donuts right in front of the app floor at their firehouse." Severide said as he started laughing. Shay laughed right along with him. God, he had missed that laugh more than anything.
He had missed her bright smile, her positive attitude, her ability to cheer him up just by being Shay. After she had died, he didn't think he would ever be happy again. She was his roommate, his advice giver, his best friend, his ride or die. Then he met Stella, and he knew. He knew that Shay had nudged Kidd his way. He knew that Stella Kidd was a gift from his best friend above. And he was beyond thankful to have Stella in his life now.
"I can't believe you're going to be a dad." Shay said after a minute of silence.
Severide smiled, "I know. I can't wait. I honestly didn't know I would ever be this excited to be a dad."
Shay chuckled, "remember when I wanted you to be the father of my baby?"
Severide nodded, "yeah, I do…" he paused for a minute before adding, "I'm sorry that never worked out, Shay."
"Don't do that Kelly." He looked at her with a confused look so she added, "don't apologize for that—"
Severide cut her off, "but I need to. Please just listen." She nodded so he continued, "I shouldn't have been so casual about that. I didn't take it seriously like you did. I had a lot of growing up to do, so I'm sorry."
"Kelly, I hope you know that I understand that was a lot of pressure on you back then. I shouldn't have gotten upset with you for not being ready for a responsibility like that. I appreciate your apology though. And I still love you. Always and forever."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Casey and Kidd had gone back to the waiting room with Halstead. Casey was thankful Will had offered to share the update with the rest of firehouse 51. He didn't know if he would be able to get through it.
Boden stood when he saw Casey with his arm wrapped around Kidd's shoulders. Everyone from the firehouse became more concerned when they saw Kidd hunched over, silent tears steadily falling down her cheeks. They were scared Halstead was about to confirm their fears.
Halstead started, not wanting to make them wait any longer, "I know you guys have been waiting for an update. First of all, I apologize on behalf of Chicago Med about Dr. Jameson's actions and harsh words. I will be going to Goodwin, our chief administrator, about everything that happened as soon as I'm done updating you."
He briefly paused, but everyone else stayed silent so he continued, "I'm going to be honest with you all, Kelly isn't in good shape. We're giving him all of the antibiotics, fluids, and treatments we can to help him, but I'm worried about his organs failing. I promise we are doing everything we can, but I don't want to get your hopes up." He paused, seeming to struggle with what he wanted to say next, which made everyone nervous. "We all know he is a fighter, but I'm concerned that he went through some very traumatic injuries less than a week ago. It's going to be very difficult for him to overcome this. I'm sorry, I wish I had a better update."
Boden and the others were stunned silent. They thought Dr. Jameson was just ignorant, but now Halstead was confirming their worst fears. Kelly was in worse shape than they had realized, and although he didn't say it straightforward, they could all read between the lines. Halstead was worried that Severide wouldn't be able to make it through this.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later that night, Kidd had dozed off in the chair next to Severide's bed, and Casey was sitting on the floor, head in his hands. He couldn't wrap his mind around everything that had happened in the past week. He couldn't sleep because he needed to make sure Severide was still fighting. He was terrified he would fall asleep and wake up to his best friend gone.
Suddenly he heard the heart monitor start beeping like crazy. He whipped his head up and noticed it had woken Kidd too. He jumped up from his spot on the floor and rushed to Stella's side.
Halstead and a few nurses came rushing into the room after what seemed like forever, but really it had not even been a minute.
"What happened?! What's going on?" Casey asked frantically.
While Halstead was taking vitals, the monitor flatlined.
"Matt, Stella, I need you to clear the room. Now." Halstead said urgently.
Casey led Kidd into the hallway. She was sobbing, and Casey couldn't help but watch through the window, eyes wide, as Halstead and the nurses tried desperately to save his best friend.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You know I'm gonna have to go…" Shay told Severide.
He just looked at her, "What? Why?"
[Monitor beeping]
"I can't stay here and neither can you. You have to go back to Casey and Stella and your baby."
"I don't want you to leave me. I need you. You've helped me through so much, I don't know if I can do it without you." He said, then quietly added "I'm scared, Shay."
[Flatline]
"What are you scared of?" She asked, although she already knew. But he needed to admit it.
"What if I'm not strong enough to make it back to the firehouse with these injuries? What is my life without being Squad lieutenant? What if I'm a bad father? I didn't have a great example growing up… I don't even know how to be a dad."
[Charging]
"Kelly, I know all of those thoughts are scary, but you have gotten through so much in your life. And you are ready to be a dad. It might be a little hard, but do you know what's harder?"
[Flatline]
"What?" Kelly asked, genuinely intrigued.
[Charging]
"Not being there for your baby girl."
"I want to be there for her. But what if I'm not strong enough?" Kelly said as he cast his glance downward. He felt like he couldn't even look Shay in the eyes.
"Kelly, you've made it through so many hard things in your life and you came out stronger because of those things. You'll figure out what to do, and you have Stella and Casey and the rest of the firehouse crew to help you. Herrmann and Boden are both dads. And you will make mistakes, but seeing how excited you are tells me that you are already an amazing daddy. Just make sure your baby knows you love her."
Severide looked at Shay and smiled.
"I'll always be here for you, Kelly. No matter what." Shay smiled back at him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, Casey, Kidd, and the rest of their firehouse 51 family were all exhausted. After the eventful night, neither Casey nor Kidd had slept a wink. They had spent the rest of the night watching Severide, just to make sure he was still fighting. Only watching the heart monitor continue to show the beats of his heart put Stella's mind at ease for a brief second.
Everyone else had stuck around in the waiting room. They couldn't bring themselves to leave. A member of their family was here fighting for his life, and they were going to be here to support him, Casey and Kidd.
They had all dozed off every once in a while, but they were mostly awake, pacing or tapping their foot, and praying that Casey, Kidd, or Halstead wouldn't come back in and tell them that Kelly hadn't made it.
But morning finally came, and Kelly continued to fight. Halstead seemed pleased when he came back into Severide's room in the morning to give Kidd and Casey the update.
"Let me just start with this. It's a miracle Kelly pulled through last night. It was rough there for a while. But, as time goes on, he should continue to improve. We're still treating the pneumonia and sepsis, giving antibiotics and fluids. He's not out of the woods yet, and I know I've said that before, but this time he is staying right here until I say so."
He paused and smiled as he saw Kidd and Casey both visibly relax, "now, while we're on that topic, I spoke to Goodwin last night and a little while ago. She has informed me that Jameson will be suspended pending investigation and he will have to go in front of the board. Considering he's a new doctor here, I honestly don't think he'll be around much longer." He shook his head and looked towards the ground, then locked eyes with Stella, "I'm sorry that it had to come to this and I wasn't here to make sure Kelly was taken care of."
"It's okay, Will. Thank you for everything," Stella responded.
After Halstead left, Casey told Kidd, "you need to eat something and get some sleep."
"I know. I just…" her voice trailed off.
"Stella, look at me. I promise I will keep an eye on Severide while you're asleep. I won't let him go anywhere. But you have to take care of yourself."
Kidd nodded, "you're right. I'll try to get a little sleep."
"I'm going to update everyone else and grab you something to eat and then I'll be back."
"Thank you, Casey."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a couple weeks later and everyone was back on shift, except Kidd. Severide had continued to fight, and now Halstead was hoping he would wake up soon. They had been able to take him off of the ventilator and were anticipating he would be out of the ICU soon. Boden had allowed Kidd to take all the time she needed until Severide woke up.
Now, Stella stood close to Severide's bed. She had noticed her belly start to show more the past couple of days, and she could finally feel some little kicks and movements from her and Kelly's baby. She took hold of Kelly's good arm and held his hand up against her stomach.
After a minute she felt the little kicks, and she was hoping that Kelly could feel them too.
"That's our baby, Kelly. The doctors said I'm measuring at 27 weeks now, which is a little further along that we had thought. This baby needs their daddy, and so do I. I can't do this without you, so we need you to fight. I promise I'll wait to find out the gender until you can be with me, but I can't wait long, so you better hurry it up." She said and let out a small laugh as a tear slipped down her cheek.
"I've been worried since we almost lost you a few weeks ago, but you fought back and made it through that night. I know you've been through a lot, but I need you to fight a little bit more. I need to see those baby blues. I love you, Kelly Severide."
Stella gasped when she heard the quiet and hoarse response, "I love you, Stella Kidd."
Thank you guys so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please let me know!! :)
