Chapter 62: Sirius Marries

Blackmoor, Essex, England

August 1, 1987

Sirius smiled as he knelt before his oldest son and slowly began to adjust the seven-year old's tie. It was clear that the child was uncomfortable, and a swift perusal of his son gave Sirius the answer why. His son's tie had been tied too tight. With slow and gentle movements, Sirius set about loosening the tie. "There, how is that?" he asked Leonis.

Gray eyes met his blue and a small smile curved his oldest son's lips. "Thanks, Dad," Leonis said. "It really is a lot better now," he said. "Cousin Andromeda tied it for me, but she was a bit rushed, so I don't think she noticed that it was too tight."

"That's likely," Sirius agreed. He knew perfectly well that both Andromeda and Narcissa had taken on the responsibilities traditionally taken on by sisters for his wedding. His Grandmother had taken on the role of mother. Melania, Andromeda, and Narcissa had shouldered the great burden of planning his wedding and making sure that everything was perfect for this day. It stood to reason that on the day of the wedding, all of them would be feeling a bit stressed.

"Ori had trouble with his tie too, but he said he'd ask Uncle Remus to take care of it," Leonis added.

"Good choice," Sirius said with some humor. "Remus always was the best at getting our school ties just right," he smiled a bittersweet smile at the memory of his youth.

He missed James. In the days leading up to his wedding day, he had kept himself as busy as he possibly could so that he'd not let himself think about his losses. He wished that James was there to stand by his side the way that he had stood by James when he had married Lily. He wished that Regulus was there too. He wished that his little brother was there to tease him about wedding jitters with a smirk on his lips and a twinkle of mischief in gray eyes.

He let himself look again at the boy before him. Olivia's son. His son. Their son. Leonis was dressed in silver and black in a suit that was nearly a perfect imitation to Sirius's own wedding attire. Elegant silver embroidery on the vest subtly made out a constellation pattern. The constellation Leo, for which his son had been named. Leonis for Leo and Regulus, the brightest star within the Constellation Leo. Regulus, the Heart of the Lion.

His own vest held the constellation, Canis Major. He was named for Canis Major's brightest star, Sirius. He didn't doubt that he would see the constellation of Orion on his second born son's vest. Would he see Scorpius and Draco on Bellatrix's boy and Narcissa's boy? He wondered if he would see a constellation on Harry's vest. He was one of the few children of the family who didn't have a constellation for a name. He idly wondered what Polaris had chosen to do for the children of the family who didn't have a star name?

"Are you sad, Daddy?" Leonis asked him gently, curious gray eyes full of growing concern stared at him and Sirius couldn't resist the urge to take his son into his arms. Leonis immediately put his arms around Sirius's neck and Sirius let himself bask in the moment, in the feel his son warm and safe in his arms and so trusting. He was so grateful for this child and his love and trust. He tried so hard for this child and he'd continue to try so hard for him. Needed to be a good man for this boy, for Harry, and for Orion too. He needed to be good for Scorpius who was so hurt by what his Grandfather had done to him. He needed to be good for Hannah too, who had never been able to know her father and who had been so wronged by her father's kin.

"I can't be sad when I have you," he said in a tone full of teasing affection. It was not the full truth, but a partial truth. Leonis was worth all the pain in the world. He was worth every sacrifice.

"She'll like me, won't she?" Leonis asked softly. "And Ori?"

It took Sirius a moment to understand exactly what his son was asking and when he did he cursed himself in the dark recesses of his mind. The wedding had been rushed, perhaps too rushed. They had been so busy putting the wedding together that there had been no real time to make sure that his sons felt secure with the idea of Alicia as their step-mother.

"You said that you like Alicia," he reminded his son.

"I do like her," Leonis was swift to assure and Sirius felt a weight lift from his shoulders at the declaration. "I do like her, but I don't really know if she likes me and Ori. I think she does, but I don't know for sure," he rambled and then fell silent. The rambling was a testament to how nervous his oldest son was.

"Alicia likes you and Orion very much," he told Leonis, recounting what Alicia had told him. "She hopes that she'll love you every bit as much as she loves Hannah in time."

"Really?" his son asked with a voice filled with wonder tinged with happiness.

"That's what she told me," Sirius said proudly and was relieved to see that his words eased Leonis's anxieties. He opened his mouth to say more, to reassure his son somehow that Alicia would come to love him. That they would become a great family, but the words caught in his throat as the door opened and Olivia Macmillan slipped into the room.

She was breathtaking in dress robes of pale blue silk. Her golden-blonde hair was styled up in a half twist that left curls bouncing teasingly. He felt his fingers twitch to caress those golden curls. Her green eyes fixed upon him and their gazes locked. He easily read the emotions that flashed before those eyes. She was open to him, always had been in a way that she wasn't with others. Longing, grief, and a bittersweet acceptance flashed in her eyes and it left a bitter taste in his mouth. He tore his gaze away from Olivia's eyes because while she had always been an open book to him, he was likewise an open book for her to read.

He slowly stood to his full height even as he listened to her soft footfalls as they came ever closer to him. Then out of the corner of his eye, he watched as she knelt before their son and began to smooth Leonis's black curls. "Darling, I heard from Harry that you were having troubles with your tie," she said with a false cheer that grated on Sirius's nerves. He took a soft steadying breath as he watched Olivia's elegant fingers adjust their son's tie a little more. He let himself fix his gaze upon her wedding ring and reminded himself that this was for the best. That Olivia was married and happily so. She had gone on after he had discarded her. She had made a good life for herself. It didn't matter that his heart sighed her name, he had given up any right to touch her years ago.

"Your dad did a good job in fixing your tie," she praised with a genuine smile curving her lips, warmth, and praise in her voice. Oh, Morgana did it hurt to hear Olivia praising him. It would be easier to be in her presence if she could hate him or at least pretend to hate him. Yet he didn't want that either, contrary creature that he was. He needed her to care.

No matter how much it hurt him. No matter how much it made him bleed.

"Dad's great with ties, but he says Uncle Remus is better," Leonis told his mother.

Olivia giggled at that. "I bet Remus is," she said lightly. "Mr. Lupin is a businessman. He must have to wear ties often for his various meetings," she mused.

"Remus is usually in a workshop restoring manuscripts," Sirius corrected, and he didn't know why. Perhaps it was her proximity. Having Olivia close had always done strange things to him, worse when he knew he couldn't just reach out and touch her.

Olivia looked at him and gave him a small knowing smile. She knew he was jittery and she knew why. Her green eyes sparkled with mischief for a moment and then she turned back to their son. "Narcissa was looking for you and Orion a few moments ago. She's trying to round you up to go over your roles in today's events once again," she said.

Leonis groaned. "We've practiced and practiced. Harry, Ori, and I know exactly what we are doing."

"Yes, but Hannah was not at any of those practices," Olivia countered. "So, go now of your own accord or be caught by 'Cissa," she said giving their son a critical eye. "The choice is yours."

Leonis groaned and then looked at his father. "Sorry, Dad," he said. "Duty calls," he added apologetically.

Sirius chuckled and clapped his son on the shoulder, gentle yet firm in his touch. "May Morgana grant you mercy," he teased his son.

Leonis gave him another one of his sweet smiles and then he kissed Olivia's cheek before he darted from the room and Sirius almost wished him back again because now he found himself alone with Olivia Macmillan. Sirius had been very good since his recovery from his ordeal in Azkaban to never be alone in a room with Olivia. Considering that she was the mother of his child, it had not always been easy to accomplish but Sirius had managed it, until now.

"Aren't you going to be a gentleman and help me up?" Olivia asked from her position of still kneeling.

"I'm not a gentleman," Sirius reminded her, repeating to her words that he had uttered before, years ago on the night that he stole his first kiss from her.

She arched a brow and waited, a look of serene patience on her beautiful face. Sirius smiled at her as he slowly offered her his hand. Helen of Troy was a hag in comparison to Olivia Macmillan. He felt her small hand placed in his own and he gently clasped it and then he gently pulled, helping her to stand in one smooth graceful motion. She was grace personified. Maybe that was where Leonis's graceful movements came from. His son moved with the same sort of easy grace that existed within his mother.

"Thank you," she said softly as she stared into his eyes. He felt his heart beating hard in his chest, her name whispered with every beat. It was always going to be this way, he realized. No use in denying it. He just had to learn how to live with it and live with not having her.

"Going to congratulate me on my good fortune?" he asked of her because he had to ruin their moment. He had to stop himself from doing something stupid.

"Actually, yes, I am," she said gently. "I knew Alicia when we were in school. Fellow Slytherin's and all that," she said lightly. "We shared a dormitory," she reminded Sirius.

"I remember that Alicia was in our year group," he conceded.

Olivia nodded, curls swaying, and Sirius curled his fingers into a fist to keep himself from reaching out to touch those curls, to cup Olivia's cheek, to step forward and invade her space.

"I think Alicia will be good for you," she told him.

Sirius nodded because he knew she was right. Alicia would be good for him. She had loved and lost, and he knew that part of her was always going to love Johnathon despite how attracted she felt toward Sirius. She understood that part of him was always going to love Olivia. She got that. She was willing to be happy with whatever bit of his heart that she could claim for herself, same as Sirius was happy with whatever bit of Alicia's heart that he could claim. In a way, both he and Alicia were not whole. They had broken pieces. Their tragedies had hammered pieces away, smashed them to dust and were unable to be put back together again. They were both a bit broken but still standing, still breathing, moving, fighting, loving.

"I think so too," he said because there was little else he could say. She spoke the truth, Olivia had always been very honest with him for all her Slytherin cunning. Perhaps it was because of her Slytherin cunning. What better way to win the heart and mind of a Gryffindor than with honesty?

"I love you," she whispered then and he felt like she had punched him hard in the gut. His fingers curled into tighter fists at his sides. "I'm always going to love you, Sirius Orion Black," she whispered in the stillness of the room. "I love you as that naïve girl I was years ago. The one who thought she was a woman but had been too sheltered to be much else than a girl play-acting the role of an adult. I love you as the father of our beautiful son. I love you as friend and family," she whispered the last and tears danced in her eyes. "I only ever want you to know love Sirius," she said the last.

He took a shuddering breath, one and then another. Just when he thought he could truly breathe again without giving way to tears she moved into his personal space and his breath caught in his throat as he stared down into her tear-bright green eyes. Again, he itched to touch her, to pull her close. She was breaking his heart and she didn't seem to understand what she was doing to him.

She stared at him for several moments and then she went up on tiptoes and placed a kiss on his right cheek. "I bless you, Sirius Black," she whispered against his skin. Wisps of her magic danced along his flesh and he trembled hard. He closed his eyes against the tears that stung his eyes and he felt her lips press against his left cheek, magic tingling along his skin and her golden curls tickling his cheek. "I bless you with light and laughter," she whispered against his cheek and then he felt her hands upon his shoulders, gripping gently and pulling him down. He went willingly, reveling for a few moments in her gentle touch. It had been too long since he had felt Olivia's touch. "I bless you with love," she whispered against his forehead before bestowing a final lingering kiss. It shook him to his very core and his arms snapped up and pulled her against him when she made move to depart. He held her tight for several moments, just holding her against him as he fought to regain his equilibrium.

She didn't fight him, didn't try to squirm out of his arms. She remained against him, relaxing into his embrace. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he was grateful for her lack of flight. He held her for several long moments before he reluctantly released her. He took two steps back, giving her space, regaining his inner balance. "Thank you," he said as he met her gaze and he knew that she understood that he was thanking her for everything. The Blessing. Letting him hold her for a time. Not hating him for pushing her away those many years ago. Still loving him. For giving him a son. Everything.

Everything.

"I'm sure that Mr. Lupin will be here soon," she said gently, and she took a few steps back.

Sirius nodded. "Thank you, Olivia," he said softly, heart in his throat.

"For you?" Olivia asked with a teasing voice. "Always, Sirius," she said gently and then she was turning away and a moment later she opened the door.

Sirius watched her leave, watched as Malcolm Macmillan greeted her with a loving smile and asked her "Is it done?"

"Yes," Olivia said with a sweet voice full of love and devotion.

"Good," Malcolm said as his lips curved into an affectionate smile. He offered her his arm and there was no hesitation when Olivia took it. For a moment Malcolm looked beyond her into the bedroom and he met Sirius's gaze. Their identical blue eyes, Macmillan blue-eyes, met and held and then Malcolm gave him a soft smile and nodded before he turned his attention back to his wife and escorted her away from Sirius.

An hour later, Sirius strode down the aisle with calm and measured steps ready to marry Alicia Abbott nee Vaisey. He knelt before the stone altar that held the binding ribbons and slowly he felt every piece of unease within him settle. He let the hurt that James was dead and couldn't be with him today settle into a soft ache. He felt the agony and guilt of Regulus's loss ease into something softer. He was able to remember the love he held for his younger brother for once without it being tinged with grief and crushing guilt. He was able to think of Olivia and know that they had really let each other go, at least as much as they would ever be able to do. Her blessing was a beautiful and unexpected gift and he hoped it meant that someday he and Olivia could deal more easily with one another as parents to their little boy.

A hush fell over the crowd as Melania Black, resplendent in silver robes walked down the aisle. She was flanked by his cousins, Andromeda Tonks and Narcissa Malfoy. Andromeda and Narcissa each wore matching dress robes of dark blue silk with the edges lined with silver embroidery.

It was time for the blessings.

Melania gave him a beautiful smile, her blue eyes sparkling in true delight. "I bless you, Sirius Orion Black," she stated, and her voice carried as if on a breeze to their guests. "I bless you with patience," she said as she kissed his right cheek. He felt her magic tingle over his skin in a comforting caress. He had to fight to keep his hands at his sides and not reach out to hug her. She smiled knowingly at him and took a few steps back.

Then Andromeda came to him. "I bless you, Sirius Orion Black," she stated confidently. "I bless you with compassion," she said before her lips touched his left cheek. He fought against the shiver that traveled through him as he felt Andromeda's magic, more potent than his Grandmother's, travel over him.

Then it was Narcissa's turn. She gave him a knowing smile as she looked into his eyes. Sirius felt so much love and so much relief as he stared into Narcissa's eyes. Love for this cousin who had never really given him up even when he was so angry at the family that he had disavowed them and even when she was so angry with him for trying to cut her out of his life. She had reached out to him when she had told James about the Prophecy. She had warned him about Bellatrix, she had charged him to protect himself from her, to put her down if it must be done. She had trusted him with a task that must have horrified her. She had chosen life for himself, for her child, for James and Lily's child over that of Bellatrix and the death she delightfully courted. There was no woman he trusted more dearly than he did Narcissa Malfoy nee Black. Cousin of his blood, the sister of his soul.

"I bless you, Sirius Orion Black," Narcissa's voice rang clear among the charged silence of the garden, easily reaching the ears of their eager guests. "I bless you with Love," she said as she kissed his right cheek. Her magic tingled along his skin even as his brow furrowed in confusion. According to ritual, she should have bestowed this blessing by kissing his forehead. Then she moved to his left cheek. "I bless you with Joy," she said before her lips pressed against the smoothly shaved skin of his cheek. Again, her magic tingled along his flesh. Then she stared long and hard into his eyes drawing him away from his confusion. He suddenly understood what she was doing, and his breath caught and held in his throat for a moment.

Sister of his soul.

"I bless you with Life," she said as she pressed a final kiss to his forehead. This time Narcissa's magic did more than tingle his skin. It flowed into him, seeping deep, bonding itself to his own magic, surrounding him in a cocoon of warmth that made him feel safe and loved as he hadn't felt since early childhood.

He came back to himself in time to see Remus make a tentative step closer to him, concern etched in his features. He looked at Remus and gave him a small smile, trying to reassure his friend that he was alright, that Narcissa had not done anything to harm him. Remus shot Narcissa a thoughtful look. She had stepped back and was once more in her position for the ceremony of flanking Melania along with her older sister.

Then his boys and his little girl were coming down the aisle to join him. Leonis and Orion were in the lead with Harry and Hannah walking behind them. He was amused to see that he had been correct in thinking that Orion would wear dress robes decorated with the constellation of Orion the Hunter. Harry's robe did display a constellation, that of Aquila the Eagle who was the keeper of Zeus's Lightning Bolt. Sirius thought it clever of Polaris to subtly point at Harry's scar without making it blatantly obvious. Hannah's pretty dress robes bore the constellation Crater the Cup.

Leonis and Harry veered to his right side and Orion and Hannah to his left when they reached him. Together, they made a carefully choreographed display look natural and graceful. At the same moment, both Leonis and Orion turned from him to look at Harry and Hannah respectively. Each child gracefully held up two beautiful jewel pins meant for the collar of Sirius's dress robes. Leonis and Orion each nodded at the precise same moment to Harry and Hannah and then they turned back to him. Leonis was the first child to reach for his collar breaking their mirrored movements. He gently clasped his collar and carefully pinned the star made of black diamonds to his collar. He placed a kiss to his cheek and then he stepped back allowing Orion to take hold of the left side of his collar and pin the black diamond star pin to the left of his collar. Orion likewise kissed his cheek and then moved back. Harry and Hannah came forward then and each child placed a kiss on his cheek. Harry gave him a big smile before he moved away with Leonis and was followed by Orion and Hannah.

Then Alicia was there standing before him, and he had eyes only for his bride. She looked beautiful in a dress that was antique white with blue embroidery at the bust and along the bottom hem of the gown. She wore a necklace of dangling sapphires and diamonds at her throat that Sirius recognized as an antique necklace that had belonged to his grandmother, Melania. Matching earrings dangled from her delicate earlobes. Her golden-blonde hair was half up and half down with flowing curls falling down her back. She knelt before him and her brown eyes looked like warm chocolate as she stared into his own blue eyes while the Priest tied the ribbon around their wrists to bind them together. It was symbolic of them binding their lives together. Sirius felt lost in the moment, lost in staring into her beautiful warm brown eyes.

Then the Priest bestowed the final words of blessing over them and the crowd was cheering in approval as Sirius pulled Alicia close. His lips claimed hers in their first kiss as man and wife and Sirius had to forcefully reign himself in. It was tempting, oh so tempting to pour all his pent-up desires into the kiss. The desire for Olivia. The desire for Alicia. Yet he refrained, pulled himself back just enough to not scandalize all their guests with too deep of a glimpse into his inner passions.

He smiled at Alicia and then he extended the arm that was joined with Alicia's own out to beckon Hannah to come to them. He smiled a tender smile at the girl as she slowly left the comfort of her Grandmother, Azura Vaisey nee Montague, to come to him. When she stood before him he took her hand into his and gripped it gently.

"I declare here and now, that I, Sirius Orion Black, do take the Heir Abbott as my Ward. She shall be known to all as my Daughter from this day forth," his voice was strong, and he allowed his magic to infuse his words, sealing his vow.

Hannah stared at him with wide brown eyes that were so achingly similar to her mother's own brown eyes. "You mean it?" her voice was barely a whisper and awe tinged every syllable.

"Yes," he said as he used his free hand to smooth her golden curls behind her ears. "You are my daughter now," he promised her.

She threw herself into his arms then and he held her as tightly as he could with his free arm. Alicia gave a small watery laugh from beside him and he turned his gaze to see her wiping away happy tears. She smiled at him and her eyes told him just how happy and proud she was to have chosen him.

Sirius chuckled when he heard loud cheers coming from a spot just to their right. He didn't have to glance in that direction to know that it was his sons, his godson, and various other children of House Black cheering for them. He extended his arm toward Leonis and Orion and locked eyes with Cassiopeia Black who was attempting and failing to keep his sons contained. He arched a brow and waited patiently for the older woman to finally give in.

She did at last, with a small huff and a whispered word for Leonis. Then they were rushing to him and Alicia. Orion reached Alicia first and he hugged her tightly, whispering words of happy welcome to his new step-mother. Leonis reached Sirius and Hannah, who was still curled into his arm. Leonis hugged Hannah, pulling her gently from Sirius's arms.

"Welcome to the family, Sister," Leonis said. A hush fell over the crowd at the Heir Black's acceptance of the Heir Abbott as his sibling. Whispers started with Leonis placed a tender kiss on Hannah's cheek. "I bless you with happiness," he said. Then he kissed her other cheek. "I bless you with an end to loneliness," he said. Then he kissed her brow. "I bless you with the love of your new family and may the love between us grow more every day."

A cheer arose from the guests and there were great clapping and sounds of merriment. Sirius slowly arose, assisting Alicia as he stood. He smiled at the children and felt especial pride well within him as he looked upon Leonis, who had welcomed Hannah into the family because he knew that his rank as Heir Black would carry great weight in society.

"Come, we have a reception to enjoy," Sirius told the children. He felt Alicia squeeze his hand and he turned his head to meet her gaze. She smiled at him and at that moment with her hand in his and their children beside them, Sirius thought himself the most blessed man in the world.


Thank you for your patience. I hope you liked this chapter!