Chapter 70: Day of Reckoning
Hogwarts Castle, Scotland, United Kingdom
May 31, 1991
Sirius stared up at Hogwarts Castle and for a moment let his mind slip into nostalgic thoughts. He had made friends during his time at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had caused mischief. He had laughed and cried with friends that he held dearer than his blood kin. He had felt the first throes of love during his days at this school. He remembered James and Remus, his mind shying away from thoughts of Peter the traitor. He remembered Marlene McKinnon and how desperately he had sought her attention. Theirs had been a passionate but ultimately volatile union. He also remembered beautiful green eyes, Olivia's eyes, as the Slytherin girl looked at him when they were paired together in their Defense Against the Dark Arts class during their seventh year. One look from Olivia's eyes had been like a punch to the gut. He had yearned for her ever afterward. Part of him still yearned now, despite everything.
The memories were not all good though. He remembered the hope that he had felt when the Sorting Hat had been placed on his baby brother's head and then the rage and disappointment that had followed when the hat had cried out that hated the word "Slytherin." He didn't shy away from the memories, didn't fight their pull as he slowly traversed the ground of Hogwart's following Rubeus Hagrid, the Master of the Grounds and Keys, across the grounds and toward the entrance of the castle. He ignored Hagrid's talk about the school and how much Headmaster Dumbledore would be happy to see Sirius. How Dumbledore had been hoping to talk with Sirius for a long time now. Instead, he let his mind remember each time his baby brother came to him, earnest and hopeful that Sirius would pay him some attention, even though Sirius didn't like that Regulus had sorted into Slytherin.
He had spurned Regulus, again and again. He let himself remember that he had been cruel to his brother when he should have been loving. He had been indifferent when he should have been supportive. Sirius had no doubts in his mind that had he been loving and supportive of his baby brother then the younger Black would be alive today. Regulus would never have been in a position to be in the same room with the likes of Voldemort if Sirius hadn't turned his back on him.
His attention was grabbed by Hagrid's muttering about a Slytherin student causing trouble for the Weasley children. "Who is this student?" he asked Hagrid, and those were the first words he had truly uttered to the man since he had greeted him at the gates.
"Marcus Flint," Hagrid told him. "He's always harassing young Percy Weasley. He was the reason the poor lad had to leave early this year."
Sirius nodded at that. "Yes, my cousin, Lady Weasley, informed me of what happened to Percy."
Hagrid nodded at that. "Sad business it was," Hagrid agreed. "Wood carried Percy all the way to the Hospital Wing," Hagrid's expression turned curious at that. "Flint followed them the whole way there, he carried Percy's broom."
Sirius smirked at that. From what his cousin had told him, Marcus Flint had offered more than an apology for harming Percy. He had offered to pay compensation to Percy for harming him. He had sent gifts to Percy to entertain him while he was recuperating. Lord Weasley wasn't inclined to let Marcus Flint have any leeway with Percy, but if Sirius was reading the situation right, and he rather thought he was, then Marcus Flint might just have a crush on their Percy.
"You said this Flint has been causing troubles for the Weasley's?" he prodded.
"Oh aye," Hagrid agreed. "He got into a right spat with the twins just a few days ago. All three of them ended up in the Hospital Wing."
Sirius didn't doubt that the twins had started that particular fight. They no doubt thought they were defending the honor of their brother. He had heard, again from Cedrella, how the twins were close to Percy. As children, they had adored Percy. Percy was the brother who read to them and played with them and encouraged them. They also seemed to sense what Percy was because the twins set themselves up to be a sort of protection for Percy against the world. The healers who had examined Percy after his collapse during his sorting at age 11, had been convinced that the only reason why Percy didn't end up going into some sort of zone out and being discovered as Magically Sensitive sooner was because the twins and their special magic acted as a protective shield against the chaotic magic of the Burrow. Twin magic was still a thing of mystery. It was just as mysterious as magical sensitives.
"I'm sure their grandparents will have plenty to say to them on the matter," Sirius said simply about the twin's altercation with Marcus Flint.
"Molly Weasley sent them a Howler," Hagrid revealed, and Sirius winced in sympathy. Even his vile mother had never done that. He didn't doubt that she wanted to send him one many times during his school years before he broke from the family, yet she never had. Appearances were important to Walburga Black and she would not have done anything to sully her reputation. Molly Weasley nee Prewett was a different animal altogether. She clearly had no concern about humiliating her children and making others see her as some harridan in the process.
Sirius kept his thoughts about Molly Weasley to himself. He wasn't particularly fond of her. She was a bit too judgmental for his tastes. She had been quite vocal about her belief that he should not be permitted visitation with Harry and Leonis after he had been freed from Azkaban. Sirius had been relieved to rarely have to deal with the woman after he had recovered his health. When the family at large gathered, Sirius was all too happy to leave the handling of Molly up to the other ladies of his family. His Alicia was very deft at handling judgmental people. It was a thing of beauty the first time he watched Alicia very coolly inform Molly Weasley that Leonis and Harry were not Molly's Wards and therefore it was none of her business who they were permitted to spend time with and who they were not.
"An' here we are," Hagrid proclaimed as they arrived before the guardian that would lead him into the Headmaster's Office. It wasn't as if Sirius had forgotten the way. He had been sent to the Headmaster's Office often enough in his youth to know the way by heart. There were few places in this castle that he didn't know. The depths of the Dungeons being one of them. It was deemed too dangerous for them to go too far into the dungeons. What little they had marked on the Marauder's Map was in large part due to Wormtail going there in his animagus form and even then, Peter had been a coward and had refused to go too far out of fear of the Slytherin's.
"Thank you, Hagrid," Sirius said pleasantly even as the gargoyle guardian moved aside revealing the staircase. "I suppose I shouldn't keep him waiting any longer," he chuckled. Then he turned away from Hagrid and mounted the staircase, rising to the door to the inner sanctum of Albus Dumbledore. He didn't really want to be here. He would prefer to be at Auror Headquarters right now or back home with his sons and his godson, with Narcissa and her boys and the other children of Black lineage, but he couldn't falter now. For good or for ill, he was here. The moment had come to finally deal with Albus Dumbledore.
"Ah, Sirius, my boy, I'm so pleased that you could finally make time to finally speak with me," Albus said as he came around his desk to greet Sirius.
Sirius entered the room and didn't bat an eyelash when the door closed on its own behind him. He moved forward and took the hand that Dumbledore offered him in greeting. "Professor," he said evenly in greeting. "I think that you can understand that for several years there, I needed to focus on my own health and my own family. To be blunt, I didn't wish to see you because I didn't trust that I could yet handle the things that we would need to discuss," Sirius admitted with ease.
Dumbledore looked at him with sad blue eyes. "Yes, of course," he said with some compassion. "I do understand that you needed time, however much I wished it were otherwise. Please, sit," he gestured then to one of the chairs before the desk.
Sirius took the seat easily, remembering old times when he had sat in this very seat with James at his side. He watched impassively as Dumbledore took his seat once more behind his desk. "I think we should clear the air a little first," Sirius began after a moment. "I would like to start by saying that I hold no animosity toward you for you having believed that I was the secret keeper," he said surprising Albus. "I did everything in my power to make you and everyone in the Order believe that I held the secret for James and Lily. We knew there was a spy in the order and had no idea who to trust. It just seemed easier, in the end, to be extra cautious. Especially when my Godson's life was at stake."
Dumbledore slowly nodded. "I see," he murmured. "I cannot tell you how much grief I have given myself since you were released from Azkaban, my boy," the Headmaster revealed. "I am ashamed that I did not make sure that you were truly guilty."
"As you should be," Sirius said catching Dumbledore again by surprise. Sirius smirked a little at that. "I meant what I said. I bare you no animosity for your belief in my guilt, for falling for our ruse. What I do find deplorable is that you were the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot and you didn't insist on a trial. James and Lily had been murdered by Voldemort. They had been betrayed by me, so you believed, so I can only wonder as to why you would not have demanded that I be put on trial for my crime. James and Lily would have deserved that justice. Harry would have deserved that kind of closure when he became old enough to ask what had happened to his parents. Yet, you did nothing."
Sirius stared into Dumbledore's blue eyes for several long moments and then he looked away, shaking his head. "I can only speculate that you didn't push for me to be put on trial because it would bring Harry to mind for the public. It would make them start to question just where the Boy Who Lived really was," Sirius said slowly, but with great confidence. "You overreached. You illegally placed Harry with a Muggle when he still had living Wizarding relatives. That was illegal, Dumbledore, and you knew it, but you did it. What's more, you managed to get Minister Bagnold to accept it after the deed was done. Petitions by House Black for Harry's custody were swiftly and repeatedly denied by the Department of Child Services, with sealed approval of the Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. You then, illegally, assigned yourself as Harry's Magical Guardian."
Dumbledore didn't bother to deny the charges that Sirius laid at his feet. "Those were dark days, as you might remember," Dumbledore said simply. "I wanted the best for Harry. He needed to be protected and society was clamoring for him, proclaiming him a hero for his defeat of Voldemort."
"A lie that you perpetuated," Sirius inserted with a scowl. "You know damn good and well that it wasn't Harry that defeated Voldemort that night. It was Lily!"
"Come now Sirius, we don't know if that is true. We don't truly know what happened that night," Dumbledore responded in a tone meant to placate him.
Sirius wondered how he had ever been placated by this man in the past. He really had been a stupid brat back when he was a student at Hogwarts. "So, you are telling me that you broke the law and placed him with Petunia Evans in order to protect him from Wizards. Petunia, who was at best unknowingly a Squib and at worst a Muggle who at that time hated Wizards? Petunia, who has no magic and no way to defend herself or Harry from anyone wielding magic against them?"
Dumbledore sighed. "When Lily died the way she did, she left protection behind. It allowed for the erection of Blood Wards using Lily's blood and magic over any home that Lily's blood lived. It was easy enough to anchor the wards to Petunia. So long as Harry could call Petunia's home his own, then Harry, Petunia, and her family would be safe."
"Safe from wizards yes, not safe from dangers in their home," Sirius said with an edge to his voice.
Dumbledore sighed sadly. "You are speaking of Vernon Dursley," he said, and he looked incredibly sad then.
Sirius gave a curt nod. He knew of Vernon Dursley and what he had heard of the man wasn't good. He remembered meeting Vernon twice before his incarceration all those years ago in Azkaban. He was the most bigoted and arrogant person that Sirius had ever met, and he had known Death Eaters. Sirius shuddered to think of what Dudley would have grown into if Marius had not blood adopted him and married Petunia, taking them both away from the man forever.
"I wish that Petunia had confided in me about her problems with her husband. I would have helped her," Dumbledore said, and Sirius really couldn't doubt him. He was sure that Dumbledore would have helped Petunia because Vernon Dursley had not mattered in his equations. It was Petunia that was the anchor for the Blood Wards that he had erected with Lily's sacrifice, not Vernon.
"She didn't trust you," Sirius said with a smug smile curving his lips. "Could be the way you decided to leave her guardianship of her nephew and inform her of her sister's passing," he said cuttingly. He would never forget the look on Petunia's face, the grief, even after all of these years, when she had informed him of how she had found her nephew in a basket on the doorstep and a letter with him simply stating that she now had custody of Harry because both Lily and her husband were dead. Sirius glared at Albus Dumbledore daring him to defend himself, but Dumbledore didn't.
"You are right of course. I should have spoken with her personally. Things were going so fast and my priority was to get Harry protected as soon as possible and then handle other things. The Order of the Phoenix was still working against Voldemort's followers at that time," Dumbledore reminded him.
Sirius couldn't argue against that, much. He knew that Dumbledore was a busy man. The old man spread himself too thin. He probably always had been like this. Dumbledore was the sort of man that preferred to have his fingers in every pie. "You left my Godson in a basket on a doorstep. Anyone could have snatched him up!" he growled.
Dumbledore chuckled at that and then held up a placating hand when Sirius looked like he was ready to flay him alive. "Forgive me dear boy, it's just that you reminded me of Petunia just then. She had the chance to tell me off about the mode in which I left young Harry in her care many years ago. I must say it was quite heartening to see just how much she cared about her nephew. I had worried that she might not hold Harry in great affection. I was aware that Lily did not have the greatest of relationships with her older sister."
"Then why would you chance to leave Harry with Petunia?" Sirius demanded to know.
"Because Lily loved her fiercely," Dumbledore admitted. "I found Lily to be a very good judge of character. I found that I just couldn't believe that Lily could love Petunia so much if Petunia were truly a terrible person. And by happy circumstance, we have seen that I am quite right. She dearly loves her nephew. I have been told that Harry is treated with the same affection as Petunia's son."
Sirius nodded at that. "Yes, he is," he corroborated because it was clear that Dumbledore knew the truth. "Harry knows that he's her nephew and not her son, but he is treated as though he is Petunia's son. She's never drawn a distinction in how she raises them, at least none that I have ever seen or heard about. I think that Harry would tell me if he felt that Petunia wasn't treating him right."
"Ah, so the two of you are close then?" Dumbledore asked and there was a twinkle in his blue eyes that Sirius didn't like.
"Yes, of course," Sirius confirmed. "I was allowed visitation with Harry shortly after I was released from Azkaban. The visitation was adult supervised for many months as I was healing both mentally and physically. The healers believe that having time with Harry and Leonis helped me a great deal. I won't deny it. Both my son and my godson gave me reasons to get up in the morning, to work at getting better, to want to keep living after all of the bad that had happened. Not because they were rewards for all of that bad, they aren't trophies, but because I needed to be healthy, better, stronger for them in case they ever needed me."
Dumbledore watched him for a few moments with a gentle smile. "Those are good reasons to want to get better," he said with warm affection.
It reminded Sirius of when he was a teenager engaged in conversations with Dumbledore in this very office. Conversations about his goals, his aspirations, his family. The reminder made him feel conflicted. He had loved the way the Headmaster had seemed to care about him back then, but now he looked at the affection that Dumbledore gave and couldn't accept it. The man had shown him favor in order to gently interrogate him for information about himself and more importantly about his family. What had Dumbledore done with the information he had given him back then? Perhaps something, perhaps nothing? Sirius would probably never know.
He wasn't afraid to admit that he was outmatched by Dumbledore. There was a reason why his Grandfather's had cautioned him against playing Dumbledore's games by Dumbledore's rules.
"I am glad that you were allowed to see Harry. I was not certain that you would be so permitted after your release from Azkaban, not with Petunia married to Marius Black," Dumbledore revealed. "Back then, I wished to offer you my assistance in gaining custody of Harry," he admitted much to the surprise of Sirius.
"That would have been unwise," Sirius immediately returned. "I was in no fit state to take care of Harry. It took me quite some time before I was truly mentally fit to take care of myself."
Dumbledore nodded. "Perhaps that was so, back then, but now it is quite clear that you are a healthy wizard who can not only take care of himself but his family," Dumbledore said with some pride as though somehow Sirius' struggle with his mental and physical wellness had been Dumbledore's great accomplishment.
Sirius regarded Dumbledore with a cool gaze. "I'm glad you approve of how well I have come along since I was released from my illegal incarceration," he sniped.
Dumbledore just smiled at him as though he found Sirius to be terribly amusing. "I understand that you will be the Regent for House Black instead of your Uncle Cygnus?" Dumbledore inquired.
"Yes," Sirius answered, wondering where the old man was going with his new change of topic. This was the reason why playing Dumbledore's game was so dangerous. Was he already playing into the old man's plans? Either way, he knew that Dumbledore would begin adjusting plans as soon as he walked out of this office. Dumbledore was too much of a strategist and Sirius had long ago realized that Dumbledore saw them as pieces on a chess board.
"I believe now would be a good time for you to take back that which is rightfully yours, my boy," Dumbledore said lightly, as though he were not just telling Sirius to seize power as Lord of House Black. He must have noticed Sirius's shock for he continued. "It would be for the best my boy. Your son is just eleven years old, too young for the responsibilities of a Head of House. House Black would be better served with you as the Lord of House rather than a child."
He gritted his teeth as he took in Dumbledore's words. "I am not Lord Black!" he snapped. "I am the Regent Black. I was never properly reinstated into the line of succession. I cannot be Lord Black," Sirius explained to Dumbledore. He didn't believe for a second that Dumbledore was ignorant of the practices of a Noble House. The man had been the Chief of the Wizengamot too long to have remained ignorant, and Dumbledore hoarded knowledge worse than any Ravenclaw that Sirius had ever met. He was positive that the man knew that Sirius could not legally become Lord Black, not now that Arcturus Black III was dead. While living, Arcturus Black III could have reinstated Sirius into the line of succession, bumping Leonis down to being Sirius' heir. He had refused to consider it due to both Sirius' rebellious youth, the damage that Azkaban had wrought upon Sirius, and his desire to keep Sirius in check. Now it was too late. Arcturus was gone and he could not reinstate Sirius into the line of succession. The best way that Sirius could serve his family was as the Black Regent.
"You could be Lord Black," Dumbledore revealed. "I have friends ready to testify that they witnessed Lord Black reinstating you to the line of succession," the Headmaster revealed.
Sirius looked at him for several moments in stunned silence. "Why would you make people lie for me?" Sirius surprised the Headmaster by asking. "What do you have to gain from my becoming Lord Black?" he asked.
Dumbledore sighed and he looked as though he were very weary, a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Sirius would have felt sorry for him if he didn't know that Dumbledore took all of that weight on his own and refused to share the load with anyone. "I would have the benefit of knowing that a good man would be the Lord of one of the most influential families in the British Isles," Dumbledore revealed. "It would make my mind rest easier if I knew that you were Lord Black."
Sirius nodded slowly and then he arose from his chair. "You'll just have to learn to get used to disappointments," he stated firmly. "My son, Leonis Regulus Black, is Lord Black. I am his Regent and I shall remain so until he is of legal age. If this is all Headmaster, I think we have nothing more to discuss."
"I have offended you," Dumbledore said rising from his chair. "That was not my intention, Sirius," the man tried to reassure him. "I only meant what was best for your family."
"No, you mean what you think will be best, what will be easiest for you," Sirius rejoined. "You think that if I am Lord Black that I will side with you, become one of your lackey's but you are mistaken Headmaster," he took a small amount of glee in telling the man he was wrong.
"I can help you take custody of Harry away from Petunia," Dumbledore rejoined.
Sirius frowned at that. "I thought the blood ward protecting Harry was anchored to Petunia?" he asked.
Dumbledore nodded. "It is, but so long as Harry has visitation with Petunia, say three weeks out of the year, then the protection will hold."
Sirius shook his head slowly. "I don't know what you want from my family, Dumbledore," he said softly. "I really don't know what you want now and what you wanted when I was a teenager, but you should stop hoping to get willing servants out of us. No Black would willingly serve you, not even the young ones. None of us trust you. I was a fool to do so when I was a kid, but now I know better. I haven't trusted you since I was told about the Prophecy. My cousin told me about the bloody prophecy months before you bothered to bring it up. You let Frank and Alice and James and Lily go on with their lives, unaware of a threat, or at least you believed them unaware. James and I told Frank and Alice and we made moves to protect each other."
Dumbledore looked pained by the admission that Sirius did not trust him. "I am truly sorry to have damaged the trust you had in me, Sirius," Dumbledore said. "I didn't move to tell the Potter's and the Longbottom's about the Prophecy until I was aware that Voldemort would act against them."
"They still deserved to know as soon as possible that a potential threat existed. Constant vigilance!" Sirius snapped, quoting his mentor, Alastor Moody.
Dumbledore gave a soft chuckle. "Alastor was always so proud of you," he said with a sad smile. "I do hope you'll give me the opportunity to win back your trust, my boy."
Sirius hated how earnest Dumbledore looked and sounded at that last. "I can tell you this," he paused to make sure that Dumbledore was paying close attention to him. "You'll never earn it back by proposing to do illegal things in order to put me in positions of power. I was an Auror, and I took my vows to uphold the law very seriously after I went through the Auror Academy. In my heart, I am still an Auror," he revealed to Dumbledore.
"I see," Dumbledore said mildly as he contemplated Sirius. "Forgive me, my dear boy. I do hope you know that my intentions were good."
'No, your intentions were self-serving,' he thought but he didn't give voice to the thoughts. Instead, he nodded at Albus Dumbledore and he turned to leave. "Forgive me Headmaster, but the hour grows late and I have already missed dinner with the children. I will not forgive myself if I don't get to spend a little time with my son's and my daughter before they head to bed."
"I had heard the rumor that you claimed the Heir Abbott as your child," Albus said brightly. "It was a very kind thing for you to have done."
"She deserved it," Sirius said simply. "Hannah is a wonderful girl," he said with a softening of his features as he spoke of his step-daughter. "It's a pity that Lord Abbott couldn't see past his grief over his son's loss and his issues with Hannah having been born a female. If he had, then he would know and love Hannah as well."
"Yes, it is a shame that Warring let himself get twisted up by his grief," Dumbledore murmured of his friend and political ally.
Sirius hummed in agreement and then he strode to the door. "Thank you for giving me some of your time Headmaster," he said without a backward glance.
"Anytime you have need of me, my dear boy, do not hesitate to seek my aid," Dumbledore said.
Sirius glanced back for a moment and studied Dumbledore with shrewd blue eyes. He slowly nodded his agreement and then he strode from the office, relieved to be away from the presence of the headmaster of Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Hello everyone! I apologize for the delays in writing. Real life has been incredibly busy. I hope that you enjoyed this chapter of Renewal. This conversation between Sirius Black and Albus Dumbledore has been long overdue. It wasn't an easy chapter to write because I was very tempted to give away plot points too soon. I am mostly satisfied with how this has turned out. It feels like they have a better understanding of where the other stands and yet Sirius hasn't exactly declared himself Dumbledore's enemy either. This can at least let Dumbledore hope that he can still maneuver the Black family into a position of having to support him later on. ;)
