"Owww, oohhhh, the paaaiiinn!" Flying Fox cried dramatically, stretched out across his hospital bed like it was a stage. "Woe is me, to be struck down in the prime of life! Tell me the truth, my King, will I ever be able to walk again?!"
"Which one's the foot you injured again?" I asked, trying not to laugh at my friend's antics.
"The left one, can't you see?" He gestured to his lower left leg, where a single bandage covered the slight scrape he got falling out of the tree. "It's swollen, can't you see? It could be infected! The Rainforest is a dirty place, you know?"
"You sure that's the injury you want to brag about? Didn't you hurt yourself landing on that Nightwing? I heard you almost had a... um, stab wound on your posterior."
"I almost had a horn up my ass." The Rainwing said, rolling his eyes with a smirk. "You can say it, Xero. A couple inches to the left, that dragon would've owed me dinner, and my boyfriend an explanation!"
We both laughed at that, perhaps more than it deserved. It felt good to laugh, to admit that we survived, that we were in the clear. That we had pulled what must've been the greatest military victory in Rainwing History, if not in Modern Phyrrian History. It was beyond surreal to go from facing the prospect of your own mortality, to realizing you went through a hurricane unscathed and smelling like roses.
"For real, though," I said, grabbing his shoulder, "I'm glad that you're gonna be okay. And I'm really glad that everyone else is okay, too."
"I know, right?" He sat up in his hospital bed. "I mean, shit, that had to be a clean sweep, right? We didn't lose a single one of ours, and they lost, what, five of theirs?"
"Three." I corrected. "Our medics were able to save at least two of them before they bled out."
"Exactly! The greatest battle ever, and hardly anybody even died! That's a straight-up miracle!"
"...Yeah," I reluctantly agreed, "It looks like one, doesn't it?" As much as I wanted to look at things through an objective and rational lens, I couldn't help but listen to the chatter of spiritual guidance and magical blessings. No plan survives first meeting the enemy, but the plan we enacted went off like clockwork. We went against the greatest fighting force in the known world, and not only did we beat them, we gave them a proverbial spanking. Our future had never looked brighter, and some might be inclined to believe that maybe we were blessed, and I was somehow Spirit-Touched. Of course it was nonsense, but if that story was enough to inspire and motivate my subjects to work and fight harder and better, what was the harm? Every little bit helps, when you fight for survival.
"So, Xero," Fox asked, sitting up in his bed, "What are we going to do to celebrate?"
"Celebrate?" I repeated.
"What, we just have a history-making moment and we're not going to have a blowout party?" Fox shook his head. "Buddy, we need a party. We earned it, we deserved it."
"Alright, fine," I sighed, "We can have a party. I'll let Grandeur and Splendor know, and maybe we can have something done for tonight. Do you think you'll be able to attend?"
The blue Rainwing snorted, his rainbow scales flashing proudly. "Of course I'll be there!" He declared, "Gotta show everyone I can still rock it, even if I have to hobble my gimpy ass around on three good legs!"
"Good," I nodded approvingly, "I wouldn't want to force you to do your new royal duties if you were truly incapacitated."
Flying Fox tilted his head curiously. "'Royal duties'?"
"Indeed," I explained, "For your service to the kingdom, and being the only soldier who was injured defending our home, I'm hereby granting you the title of Royal Cupbearer."
Fox's eyes went wide, his scales turning gold with an undertone of confused orange-purple. "...Oh. What does that mean?"
"Simple. Your new job will be to bring me my drinks at parties or meetings, make sure my cup is full, and you get to taste my food and drink first to make sure it's not poisoned. In practice, it means we get to hang out and be drinking buddies. It's really easy and really fun, you'll love it."
The orange-purple bled away to more gold, and he smiled even bigger. "Thank you, Xero," He said sincerely, "I'd be honored. You can count on me."
"Good." I said, tapping his chest with my wing, "Now rest up, I'll come pick you up in the evening."
"Where are you going?" Fox asked. I stopped at the doorway of the medical hut.
"I have to convince my enemies to become my friends..."
That afternoon, in what was increasingly known as the Council Room, three Sandwings and several important Rainwings sat around the table. At the front was myself, with a crown of flowers atop my head, equally relieved and embarrassed, like I nearly dropped an egg only to catch it at the last second. On the opposite side of the table, two dragonesses - once rivals, now my prisoners - sat uncomfortably next to each other, eyeing each other as much as they did their guards and me.
"So..." I began, looking at my two guests sheepishly, "This is an odd twist of fate, isn't it? The three of us, former enemies, now brought together to save the Desert from everyone. I'm going to throw this out there, I respect you both. You were able to outmaneuver and beat me fair and square in the Palace, and it's only out of a ridiculous amount of luck that all of this-" I gestured across the room, "-was able to happen.
"Nightshade, you're not as terrible a dragon as I first thought. For all our disagreements and differences, I see no other reason not to support you now. You have the Eye, the people still love you, so by all accounts you should be Queen. Having said that, my commitment now is to stop the fighting and pointless loss of Sandwing lives. Now that Hallowglide's turned the other three kingdoms against us... I'm not saying we can't beat them - the battle at the Portal shows that Rainwings can fight and fight well - but it'll be long and bloody for everyone. I want to call a truce with Hallowglide's coalition, bring them to the table to see if we can work out a deal for peace. What I want to know is, as a good and righteous Queen, what are you willing to do to protect your Tribe? On a similar topic, what's the deal between you and the Nightwings? Are they still backing you, or are there 'problems'?
"Tanwen, you and I are a lot alike. We both served Princesses with good and bad qualities, we both did good and bad things to see them win... and in the end, both of them are now dead, leaving us free to make our own path. I take it from what happened at the meeting that Hallowglide wouldn't keep you around much longer, so maybe this isn't the worst thing that could've happened to you. Since you're here, I offer you two options. If you don't want to work with us - and I understand if you don't - you can remain here in the Village, where you will remain for the duration of the conflict. You will be under guard, but you will be cared for, and allowed to work on whatever you wish. OR, you can work with us, add your political acumen and insight to ours, and work to unite our Tribe and finish this fight. We take out this "Lord Protector", bring peace to the land, and make the world a better place. What say you?"
There was a pause from both of them, as they considered my little speech. I can't imagine any of this was easy to take in, going from being leaders of their factions to being... well, essentially my prisoners. I made sure they were treated fairly, more as honored guests (with armed guards) than prisoners.
"I can say regarding the Nightwings," Nightshade said, after a long pause, "That they thought it a lovely idea to go to war with everyone else and that I tried to convince them otherwise. It failed."
"Would you say it's Battlewinner's idea," I asked, "Or her commanders' idea? What exactly do they want? Because as I'm seeing it, we have three options. Option 1, we go through the portal, talk this out like civilized dragons and work out a deal where we still have their support and they get something they want without making more enemies. Option 2, we go through the portal with my armies - with the Guard captured and the Army in the Palace, who else do they have? - and find someone more reasonable to lead the Nightwings. Maybe a fellow scientist without delusions of grandeur, like, say, Battlewinner's scientist, Mastermind? Option 3, if 1 or 2 don't work out, we can always bury the portal and block it. Above all else, they need to understand that we have control of their one way into Phyrria, and they can either play nice or take the scenic route from wherever they come from.
"As for greater strategy, of course you need to go back to the Sand Kingdom. Hallowglide needs to be dealt with somehow, but we should try to negotiate a peace or armistice with the other Kingdoms. Moorhen could probably be talked out of it, she's not really interested in anything beyond defense against the Seawings. Glacier's really adamant in getting some land, and for the time being it might be wise to have the Icewings buy the land for a large payment - or at the very least make it seem like we're interested in such a deal. That only leaves Scarlet, who's gonna be a tough one. She loves combat, and she has the first version of my crossbows being built. After we deal with the Nightwings, we can move onto her.
"By the way, would you like to make an announcement of our alliance, or keep this all hush-hush? I've gotten a lot done with no one knowing I'm still around, but maybe Hallowglide and the others will think twice after they see what we can do."
"I will work with you." Tanwen spoke up, having sat quietly so far. "You seem to know what you're doing, far better than I first gave you credit for, and you're a better option than being killed by Hallowglide. Also, I have contacts in the palace who can aid us if we decide to strike."
"Well," I admitted, "I had an assassin dude hanging out there, but after getting you, I'd wager he knows someone's coming. I'm not sure what to do with him at the moment. Maybe that weird cult in the Scorpion's Den can do something about Hawkstone. What were they called, the Coven? Bunch of weirdos, but desperate times call for desperate measure, right? If they were to, I dunno, try to launch an attack or something, do you think your connections could add to the chaos beforehand? Or open the doors, that'd be cool."
"I think we need to keep the Nightwings out of this," Nightshade said, "and that we need to run low. Hallowglide is seeing me as weak and alone, and us all as being disunited. He underestimates us. There's no reason to disabuse him of that notion."
"The problem is the portal is in the middle of the jungle," I pointed out, "So guarding it would always be an issue. If they have forces on the other side, then sure leave them be, they can't get through without getting slaughtered. But if they don't, why keep things 3-2-1 when we can bring it back to 3-3? As for the rest, that's fine. It's been fun building up and watching from afar.
"I think that covers all the major points, ladies." I said, writing down a series of orders. "If there are no other issues to address, our guards here will escort you both to your new quarters. That'll be all for today."
We all got up, and the guards politely ushered them out of the room. The rest of the day went pretty smoothly after that - congratulating the troops, checking in on prisoners, making sure all the civilians were safe and accounted for, those kinds of things. I noticed that Batty and Maggy were nowhere to be seen, but at the time didn't think much of it - everyone was busy with something, after all. Still, the events of yesterday played in my mind again and again. Batty's kiss, Maggy's look, they both hung around the back of my mind, highlights of an unbelievable night. I couldn't imagine how my life could get any better.
I had a limited imagination back then.
The jungle was alive with lights and sounds, as the Rainwings partied into the night. The Village was illuminated with multicolored lights, drums and horns were playing, and dozens and dozens of dragons were dancing and singing cheerfully. We had just proved to the whole world that we weren't a joke, that we were a strong, capable Tribe capable of defending ourselves against even the mightiest of enemies. All thanks to the wisdom and cunning of "His Majestic Holiness-" (ugh) "-King Xerophilous and His Council of Queens".
Awards and congratulations were given to "General" Grandeur and "Marshal" Majestic for securing the Portal, and Flying Fox was given the title of "Royal Cupbearer" (which began to evolve into "Royal Drinking Buddy" over the course of the party). Queen Nightshade and Tanwen were invited to the party, though they left early on to pack and discuss what to do in the Sand Kingdom. There were Sandwings in attendance as well, receiving a warm welcome from the locals after travelling so far from home. There was even one or two Nightwings off in the corner - let out for good behavior but still under guard - drinking wine and sitting awkwardly by a table.
"See, Your Highness," Flying Fox said, handing me a full cup of fruit punch wine, "This is what life's really like in the Rainforest - one big, fun party!"
"Sure is, Fox." I agreed, taking a sip. "We've all earned it. You know, I try not to buy in too much to all the hype and praise you guys give me, so I don't get too cocky and screw things up, you know? But I got to say - and keep this between us, alright? - But I think we might just pull this off."
"Of course we can, my King," Fox insisted, "You've shown us that we're capable of anything, and with your wise and good leadership, there's nothing we can't do!" He wasn't slurring his words, but the way his eyes seemed glazed over and his scales changed color slower than usual made it clear that the alcohol was starting to kick in.
"Oh buddy," I chuckled, "If you think all this is amazing, you should wait and see what I want to do after the war's over. Seriously, I have so many ideas and plans that have nothing to do with war, and everything with making daily life better for everyone! With the Royals gone, and a Kingdom where I can work on anything I want, I'm going to invent so many things that your heads will spin!"
"Wow! Like what?"
"Ummm… Ooh, indoor plumbing! You know how you have to go outside of the Village to, you know, poo and pee? What if you could go in, like, a specialized bowl in the comfort of your own home? And what if, with a simple pull of a lever, the bowl emptied itself away from your home without ever having to touch it?"
Fox couldn't look any more amazed if I grew two heads and spat out rainbows. I thought about explaining the complications of finding the right material for pipes that won't rust or rot, but thought better of boring him with such details. I looked over at Nightshade and Tanwen, surrounded by a dozen Rainwings with blowguns.
"Gotta pity the Nightwings," I mused, "But this idea that they can take on every other Kingdom in Phyrria is crazy. I mean, we took out their best fighters, and we weren't even trying to kill them. You think Coral or Scarlet is going to be any nicer than us? You'd think a Tribe of mind-readers and fortune-tellers would understand that."
"I guess they didn't see that coming, did they?" Fox joked.
"Ha! Good one! Give me a wing-slap, bro!" We tapped wings and laughed, drinking more of our wine. "But yes, clearly Battlewinner and I need to have a little chat. See if we can work out a deal, or find a more… reasonable dragon to lead things. I'll have to talk to our prisoners to see if they have any useful information."
"What if they don't want to talk?" Fox asked.
"I… can be very persuasive when I need to." I answered cryptically. "I learned from the best."
"How?" He pressed.
My mind went back to a dungeon in the Sandwing Palace. Me, a younger, recently appointed Court Scientist, carefully taking notes in the corner. Burn, towering over an accused rapist, murderer and egg-smasher, working her magic with a knife to earn a confession. The screams of pain and fear only stopped when she covered their mouth to allow me a better look at the musculature and organs. The memory, once seen as educational and enlightening, now sent a chill down my spine. I wanted to put that part of my life behind my now, and hoped that I wouldn't have to put those skills to use. "Don't worry about that, Fox," I said after a moment, "I wouldn't want to trouble you and ruin the festivities."
Flying Fox nodded, and we continued to watch. In the middle of the Arboreum, I could see that Batty and Maggy had taken to the dance floor, as a circle was forming around them. Their scales changed color with their movements, flashing between pink and yellow with flecks of blue and lavender. The way their bodies rubbed against one another, their tails swayed and wings displayed like birds of paradise was alluring and provocative, certainly more captivating than any courtly Sandwing dance. The dual performances were entrancing, drawing in the attention of many Rainwings, Sandwings and Nightwings watched in awe. I was just as intrigued and interested as everyone else, until I felt someone staring at me. I turned, and saw Flying Fox looking at me with a mischievous smirk.
"...What?" I squinted suspiciously.
"You should go dance with them, Your Majesty."
I laughed, a bit forcefully. "No no no," I insisted, "I'm actually a terrible dancer. The last thing anyone wants to see is me moving like a clumsy weasel." That wasn't entirely true. I actually didn't know if I was a good dancer, since I could count the number of times I've done it on one paw. I barely knew how to do the courtly Palace dances of my homeland, let alone the wild, dynamic movements of the Rainwings.
"Oh c'mon, you'll love it! We'd love it! Better yet, they'd love it." Fox nodded not-so-subtly to Batty and Majestic, raising a conspiratorial eyebrow. I looked back. They were both pink as they moved, but in the late evening light I couldn't tell if it was a light pink, or rose, or magenta. Fruit Bat wasn't quite as in-sync, her movements slightly shaky and nervous, often looking up to her larger partner. Maggy, clearly more experienced, took the lead in the dance, doing the fanciest moves and gently nudging Batty this way and that. All the while, their gazes bounced back and forth between each other, and me.
"You don't know what that dance means, do you?" He asked. I shook my head. Honestly, if I didn't know them, I would've assumed they were performing some kind of couple's dance with each other.
"That," Fox explained, "Is a Courting Dance. It's a display, a lure. They're not saying, 'Oh, we're so into each other', they're saying, 'Hey you, come and join us'."
"Wait, what?" I asked. "How do you know?"
The Rainwing turned orange with annoyance as he stared at me. "Dude, you don't think I've had drakes and dragonesses doing that for me? You don't think I haven't performed that with my bro or bae trying to get some tail? Trust me when I say I have some experience on the matter. Look at how they keep looking in our direction. Look at how they position themselves, saving their most vibrant colors and displays for us. Look at how every other dragon here is giving them space, and no one's moving to join them. If it wasn't meant for you, there'd be other dragons making their own displays, trying to woo one or both of them. Trust me, dude, if they were being any more obvious, they'd be raising their tails right here and now. So go out there and dance with them already!"
"Fox, come on," I complained, "I'm not doing it. It's really embarrassing. I have four left feet, and no rhythm-"
Unfortunately, this was one of those times when my subjects decided not to listen, as Fox started nudging other Rainwings. "C'mon, guys! Xe-Ro! Xe-Ro! Xe-Ro!" He started up a chant, one which the clueless partiers quickly picked up.
"I command you to stop!" I ordered, though not loud enough to overcome the chant.
"Xe-Ro! Xe-Ro! Xe-Ro!" They cried out dumbly. The Sandwings started joining in (though they didn't really know what was going on), and the Nightwings stared on in scared confusion. Grandeur and Splendor stopped talking about something to turn and look, and even Fruit Bat and Majestic stopped and glanced over at the commotion.
I shot daggers at Fox, partly furious that he turned the crowd on me, and partly for not knowing how to back out. The worst part was that he looked so happy, as if he'd done me a huge favor by doing this. You stupid sand-snorting son-of-a-
"You want me to go out there?!" I shouted at Fox and the crowd. "You want to see me make a fool of myself?!" Either the crowd didn't hear or understand me, as they kept chanting. Sighing, I glared at Fox, downed what was left in my cup in one gulp, and shoved the cup back at him. With a cheering crowd and nervousness I hadn't felt since first arriving in the jungle, approached my I Bodyguard and favorite Queen.
"Um, hi, ladies," I greeted them, trying and failing to hide the nervousness in my voice, "Mind if I join you? For a dance, I mean."
Maggy gave her smaller partner a confident, almost smug look, as if to say, See? I told you it'd work. "It would be an honor, my King."
"Just so you know," I warned them, "I'm not much of a dancer."
"That's okay," Maggy said, "Batty's a beginner herself. We'll have the musicians play something nice and slow for us. Just follow my lead, My King." She signaled the band with an extended wing, and the band changed songs, playing something with a low, gentle tempo.
We moved together in a waltz, spinning around each other like stars in the sky. I did my best to follow their movements and understand the dance, which (fortunately) didn't include flying above the canopy and doing any fancy maneuvers. The dance was simple enough: two dragons circled and rubbed each other's sides like cats greeting one another, while the third would orbit around us; after so many spins, the third would display their wings, and when one of the pair returned the gesture, they'd switch positions. Every now and then the third would linger, and one of the two would be sandwiched as they spun together a few times. On and on it went, Fruit Bat and Me, Majestic and Me, Batty and Maggy. The other partiers continued to dance and frolic around us, but gave us plenty of space to move and talk privately.
"So, Xero," Batty said, leaning in to talk over the music, "Maggy and I have been talking for awhile. About you, about us, about... stuff."
"Oh?" I tried not to lean in too much, watching my steps as we moved. The alcohol was starting to kick in, but it was just a mild buzz - the kind that loosens you up, but before it starts messing with the mind and body.
"Yeah." Her scales had changed from her normal pink to an embarrassed neon pink, as she had a sheepish smile. "We know that we both like you, and that you like both of us. Before you start worrying, neither of us is jealous or anything - it's not like you're interested in Dazzling or Magnificent. In fact, Maggy suggested an... interesting solution to our, um, situation." Batty flashed her wings, as Majestic moved in and nuzzled my neck.
"My King," The larger Rainwing asked, her voice a silky, seductive whisper in my ear, "Remember when you told me I could make any request of you, if it's within your power?" I nodded, suddenly feeling nervous. Her lips brushed against the tip of my ear, and chills ran down my spine as she whispered, "I wish to spend the night with the King and Queen, the Rainwing Way."
I stopped dancing. You ever have something that you've secretly always wanted, but the moment it gets presented to you, you freeze? You start thinking of reasons for backing out, for not getting it. Later on, you wonder why you felt like wimping out and flying away from your deepest desire, and you realize that even then, you were reaching a crossroads. You had reached a major milestone in your life, and once you pass it, there's no going back. Such a moment can be very scary in a way, and subconsciously you try to back out because we all fear change, even positive change.
That was me, when Maggy essentially propositioning me into a threesome, on the dance floor surrounded by my subjects. An offer so unbelievably good I almost couldn't believe it was true. Fox liked to tease that even from a distance he could tell when she asked, because he could see the smoke coming out of my ears as I tried to compute. I might've even done something stupid and said no, had Batty not spoken up.
"I'm up for it if you are." I turned and blinked at her, still trying to process everything. Turning an embarrassed pink, she explained, "We're all entitled to a little reward, after all we've accomplished. And, well, I really, really like you, and I like and trust her, so, you know, why not?"
"So what do you say, My King?" Maggy asked, her frill now a definite magenta. "Are you... up for it?"
I - smooth Casanova I am - could only think to say, "... What, like right now?"
"Unless you plan on taking us in front of an audience," She giggled, nodding to the onlookers trying not to watch and eavesdrop too obviously, "I was thinking of your place. Somewhere private where we can continue our little dance."
"Uhhh... s-s-sure." I stammered. "Yeah, totally. I mean, if that's what you both want to do, definitely."
"Great, let's go." Her wings stretched out and guided us off the dance floor. The crowd parted for us, hooting and cheering and congratulating us. I spotted Flying Fox and Grandeur up by my throne. Grandeur rolled her eyes, but her lavender scales had a tint of happy yellow for us. Fox had turned a proud gold, giving me the double thumbs-up. I glared at him, still a little mad over his little stunt. He just smiled and winked, cheeky bastard.
I'll spare you dear readers the details of what happened next - I'd rather not embarrass my loved ones and descendants any more than I already have or will, and I want to at least keep things PG-13 for the high schoolers and college students who'll use this for their history projects. But what I can say is that Maggy truly made the difference. Had it just been me and Batty, with our inexperience and size difference, things could've been awkward and regretful and painful, among other things. But having the larger, experienced Rainwing with us, guiding and teaching us along the way, what could've been a cringeworthy memory instead became something beautiful and amazing, and for that we'll be eternally grateful.
That morning, waking up in my chambers to gentle sunlight, under a blanket of purple and pink wings, I think I finally realized what it meant to feel like a King. Holding my ladies close, I savored the moment. In that place and time, there were no worries, no invasions or wars, no political gambits or magical relics. Right then and there, with the two loves of my life and the start of a new day, things couldn't be more perfect...
