The silence after my question dragged on. Finally, Legolas answered quietly, "I don't know."
I knew immediately that he was lying. And that meant I couldn't trust him. Probably never had been able to.
Why was he doing this?
Why was he always feeding me to the point where I didn't ask any more questions and let him do it? Was he possibly scaring me on purpose?
Now that I knew what he was up to and why he was doing it, I wasn't sure it was the right way to go. Time travel was a tricky thing. And what if he had just been adjusting the truth about the thief to fit the circumstances? What if it wasn't a time traveler at all who had stolen Narya? Maybe he just wanted me to believe that, maybe he wanted me to do it…
All of this flashed through my mind in a brief moment as I returned the elf's gaze. Then I nodded as if I had swallowed his lie and turned away. "I need to get some fresh air."
Without looking back again, I crossed the hall. I had to force myself not to run, I was so disappointed. It was as if a hot iron cut into my chest and lingered there burning. I felt betrayed, taken advantage of.
With a dull sound, the door of the warehouse slammed against the outside wall and slammed shut behind me. Greedily, I sucked the fresh night air into my lungs - mainly to keep from crying. I just didn't want to give the bastard that. If I did anything, but not that.
Frantically, I swallowed the lump in my throat and bit the inside of my cheeks. Still, I couldn't stop a tear from coming off my eye and dripping onto the floor. Damn that mess!
"Cigarette?"
I winced so hard that I bumped into the outstretched hand holding a cigarette out to me. Obviously, I had been so preoccupied with myself and my feelings that I hadn't noticed Morag, who was sitting on the top step of the stairway to the warehouse, smoking in the glow of the only outdoor lamp.
Silently, I took the cigarette from his hand and let him give me a light. Then I inhaled deeply. The first puff was indescribably soothing. The nicotine clouded my confused head and made me feel a little calmer.
I exhaled the smoke and stared into the darkness. "Thank you."
Morag didn't respond. I couldn't even tell if he had registered that I had said anything. Whatever.
I sat down next to him, but left a proper safe distance as a precaution. I briefly wondered why he had offered me the cigarette, but dismissed the thought as quickly as it had come. Thinking about it was too exhausting for me, after all, I had enough other things racing through my brain's convolutions, screaming for attention. Again.
I inhaled once more, wondering what I could do.
When exactly had I actually started trusting Legolas? And why? Had he ever given me a reason to?
His words and actions were in stark contrast to each other. That I only now realized this. I had allowed myself to be drawn in. Seduced. Had wanted to believe.
I shook my head. There were lots of unclear variables, and the one constant had just been lost to me.
"So, did he screw you over?"
I furrowed my brows and turned to Morag, who was stubbing out his butt and flicking it into the darkness afterward. " Why is that any of your business?"
He grinned and shrugged. "Just a thought."
"Then think in a different direction," I muttered, turning away again. Douchebag.
But he didn't let up. "It's in our nature."
Did he seriously expect an answer to that? Something like: Oh, well that excuses everything, of course, or what?
"You should get out of here while you still can."
That was enough!
I jumped up and glared angrily at him. I would have liked to punch Morag. What did he know? "Do you always interfere in things that are none of your business?"
"More often than not, yes," he answered provocatively cool.
With that he had taken the wind out of my sails, because I didn't know how to answer. How I hated that. And he hadn't been half as tactful as Legolas.
I pinched my lips together. "Find someone else to play with, I'm not in the mood for this shit."
"You got a big fucking mouth for your age, princess."
"This coming from the right guy."
Morag raised an eyebrow. "Touché."
I took an annoyed drag on my cigarette and blew the smoke out into the night. Morag, like Legolas, seemed prone to cryptic hints. What had I done wrong to deserve two of the same?
Something moved next to me and I noticed that Morag had gotten up and, without saying anything else, went back into the hall. When I was sure I was alone, I breathed a sigh of relief.
I needed time to think. About what Morag had said and even more about what Legolas had concealed. In any case, running away was not an option. After all, I had already tried that and had failed magnificently.
I needed more information. I had to somehow find out what this was really about. For whatever reason they didn't tell me the truth, there had to be a way to solve the mystery. Could there perhaps still be something to reconstruct from what I had read years ago in The Lord of the Rings? Something that could help me?
I pondered back and forth. I went through everything I could still remember, one after the other. And then it came to me. Why hadn't I thought of that right away?
The port and Legolas' reaction to it.
When I had told him about Hamburg being near the sea, he had gotten nervous. He had tried to hide it from me, but I had noticed it anyway. So far, it just hadn't been important enough for me to worry about it. But now, when I thought about the passage that occurred in both the book and the movie, it made sense.
Galadriel had warned him about the longing that the sea would cause in him. And come to think of it, Legolas himself had mentioned his fear of the cry of the gulls a few lines later.
But what good did that do me, except that I now knew why he had turned white as a sheet? Did that have anything at all to do with what I was trying to figure out?
Probably not.
I rubbed my temples, which were already starting to throb from an approaching headache. How was I supposed to find out more about Legolas' motivations? It simply couldn't be done, because he himself wasn't telling me anything. And Morag? Certainly not him either. I had to face the fact that I was just a small cog in the wheel, turned as it suited those who knew what they were doing with it.
The darkness crept toward me like a living animal, but it seemed so much more comforting than what awaited me in the warehouse.
I closed my eyes.
I had not yet considered one possibility because it had seemed nonsensical until now. Completely absurd. Because I had thought that I could never be so wrong about anyone. But as much as I wished it, Legolas had lied to me from the beginning. He had used me to achieve his goals. And I had allowed that to happen.
I stubbed out my cigarette and stood up.
I would not run away, because this time I had a goal. I would do the only thing I had left to do if I wanted to keep control of my life.
I would shake hands with the devil himself.
