Helpless Fool

"Ina."

"Legolas."

Silence. I looked at the carpet patch beneath my feet with unwavering interest. Had the stain been there earlier, too?

"Wouldn't you like to say something?" The elf's voice sounded neutral, though my mother had always sounded similar when she was about to hit the ceiling.

"No."

"That's what I thought." His words dripped with sarcasm and hit me like a bucket of ice water. Oh, he wasn't just angry.

He was freezing. This must have been how Judas felt after he realized his guilt. And Legolas sensed exactly what was going on inside me and took advantage of my guilt without hesitation. Asshole.

I took one deep breath and raised my head. "Do you want me to eat crow, Your Highness?"

He blinked, he didn't know anything about that idiom obviously. I rolled my eyes in annoyance and followed up, "You've kept me in the dark all this time and I've said all this time that I'm not going to let you do this to me. So don't act like you didn't see my reaction coming."

I had talked myself into a frenzy. Finally the anger was back and it wanted blood. How dare he blame me?

I pushed myself off the wall and dug my index finger into his chest. "It was you who got me into this situation in the first place, and then when I finally accepted it, like an idiot, you kept throwing me bits and pieces of information because you knew I would snap at them. You played the generous patron, nobly standing up for me!"

I fixed him with narrowed eyes. "Yet all you cared about was fulfilling your mission, wasn't it? You took advantage of me in every way, used my feelings against me, and now you have the audacity to reproach me for it? After I just saved your life? Again?"

My anger had grown with every sentence I had hurled at him, but now it collapsed without warning and I turned away. I certainly wouldn't let him have the satisfaction of seeing me cry. After all, I didn't understand myself why a scratchy ball was struggling up my throat. I had always tended to burst into tears when there was an argument, but this was different.

At least there was one good thing about it all: I had just given Sattler and his boss a theatrical performance. If they weren't convinced that I had nothing to do with Legolas' mission now, I didn't know what else to do.

The silence dragged on, but I would definitely not be the first to break it. Finally, the elf cleared his throat. "I didn't know you felt that way."

What a weak excuse. "You can't think of anything better?"

"No."

And now? Hadn't everything been said? Didn't I now have to knock on the door and ask David to take me back to my hospital room? That's how it always went in movies, right? I sighed and turned around.

But I didn't get far.

Legolas was standing right in front of me, so close that I almost bumped my nose against his chest. I wanted to take a step back, but he held me tightly by putting an arm around my waist.

He was holding me tight? How had he freed his hands from the cuffs?

I tried to squirm out of his grip, but he wouldn't let me. "Forgive me."

His voice sounded occupied, as if he had a lump in his throat. Had I hit him? Immediately I felt the guilty conscience again, sneaking up behind me on silent soles and tapping me on the shoulder. "Let go of me."

"No."

"What?" Actually, I should have been indignant, but instead I sounded rather astonished. He also put his second arm around me, so I didn't have the slightest chance to put distance between us. I could only turn my head away from him. And that's what I did. At the same time, I felt him shove something small into my hand so no one would notice. It felt sharp - a needle, perhaps? So that was what it was all about! Still, I felt a little uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, Ina. I didn't mean to do that. I just wanted to protect you."

Inside and out, I froze to ice. Not only did it sound quite corny what he had just said, and he obviously meant it anyway. No, he had also called me by my first name. Was he just putting up a show or did he mean it? I didn't know why, but I was hopelessly overwhelmed by this situation. What was I supposed to do?

"I don't understand it," he continued, "but if you wish so, I will include you in... in any decisions we have to make."

"To do what?", I asked, hearing myself sounding terribly breathless. His closeness got to me.

"To finish what I came here to do."

"Hmm." I would have liked to slap myself in the face. Why hadn't I stepped on his foot long ago so that he'd let go of me, and let David take me away? Why was I still standing here? I had to leave. Now.

I didn't put any of my thoughts into action. Instead, I rested my head against his chest and ignored the voice in my head that was calling me a dirty traitor. "Sattler's likely going to puke," I muttered into his shirt, feeling his laughter right after. "Probably."

"Now what?"

He pushed me away from him at arm's length. "We'll see."

After that sentence, he turned us around so that my back was to what used to be the mirrored window and let go of me. "Go now."

"And... you?", I asked quietly.

He stepped closer to me again and said out loud, "This too shall comply." Quietly, so that only I could hear, he whispered, "Get ready to run."

Then he knocked twice on the door.

David opened and looked at me. "Is everything all right?"

I nodded, trying not to answer, because I didn't trust my voice. My head also felt like it could burst at any moment. I needed time to process what had just happened. To categorize it. To assess whether I hadn't been taken in by Legolas again. I could not rely on my heart. I shook my head as I followed David out into the hallway and looked over my shoulder against my better judgment.

The elf stood where I had left him and under his gaze I felt the telltale blush creep across my cheeks. I quickly turned away and followed the bodyguard.

Oh, I was a fool. A helpless fool.