A Touch of Lunacy


And another one!


Even after talking with Titania, Cyrus couldn't get much sleep- his dream left him feeling antsy, and after a bit of contemplation he decided to visit the dungeon later in the day. He had never actually seen all the changes that had apparently taken place within those strange halls; although Lacrima had regaled him with tales of the mysterious catacombs and their cursed inhabitants, they had never interested him before, but he suddenly felt an urge to get as far underground as possible, to isolate himself from the sky for a bit.

Of course, he wasn't going to just up and leave in the middle of the night without telling anyone (not to mention that he definitely wasn't feeling like taking a long look at the stars right about now) so he decided to wait, and he should probably get some breakfast in him before descending into the horrors of the dungeon. He always felt more capable of taking on the world after eating a good meal; it wasn't a specially prepared potion, but damn, it certainly felt like it.

They talked over breakfast; it was quite the major social event now, and the one meal Cyrus was basically guaranteed to not miss (with the exception of hospital visits). All the food of a decently sized feast- they were feeding more than two dozen people, several of which happened to be more voracious than most- and Cyrus honestly had to wonder how Bea managed it all. Cyrus could understand pouring his all into a passion- even if his particular 'passion' or skill was very efficiently making living things nonliving- but it had to be exhausting. Cyrus had to wonder if she drafted people for it, since she had to cook so much food; however, she had practically annexed the kitchen and was surprisingly protective of her domain- except for Cyrus, for a reason he didn't like to contemplate.

Breakfast was unusually quiet, for whatever reason, and after finishing off some complex breakfast pastry that was almost to beautiful to eat, he broke the silence. "So… I was planning on heading down to the dungeon later today, to see all the new sights." He turned to Lacrima, who was meandering her way through an apple. "You said it changed, didn't you?"

She nodded. "Yeah. The skeletons got real nasty and are much better armed. Big suit of armor stomping around down there too- and, if you'd believe it, ghosts."

Judith, the steampunker who helped hook up their teleportation network, looked up from her plate, curious. "Ghosts, you say? Truly?"

"Honest to goodness, I swear. Occasionally, when Francisca killed one of the skeletons, a little sort of… ghostly spirit would pop out. I'd finish them off and collect the ectoplasm- you know, the blue white misty stuff?"

Judith hummed at that. "It seems… strange. I know that magic exists, of course, I have seen it in action as well, but… ghosts and spirits?"

Titania chuckled. "Maybe you haven't seen what the world really has to offer. It's teeming with spirits and powers just below the surface, almost like an iceberg- so much of the mystical world is hidden from our view."

"You say our, but how do you know about it?" Cyrus was curious- how did she have all this mystical knowledge?

"Memories from my previous form, I assume. I remember sensing the world differently- I could feel the spirits humming the air, strange powers that I can't see anymore. It's like loosing my eyes or closing a window- a fundamental part of how I processed the world… gone."

Some of the other boss girls started to murmur their sympathies, but turned up her nose and silenced them all. "I don't need your pity." And like that, whatever bridges the girls were trying to build were immediately toppled.

"About your dungeon trip, Cyrus… what if the new girl wakes up while you're out? She seems to be stirring already… a remarkably quick riser, this one." Abigail asked.

Cyrus thought for a moment and then sighed. "I suppose I can stay around until she wakes up if you're so confident… but I'd just like to start out before it gets dark."

"What's up Cyrus, afraid of the dark, poor baby?" Andi chuckled, a piece of charred black bacon in her hand- not the result of a cooking mistake on Bea's part, but instead Andi's personal preference. Why she liked eating charcoal, Cyrus wasn't sure. Maybe it reminded her of her hellish home? Actually, he wasn't sure if any of the girls had nostalgia for their old homes- would Medulla prefer a trip back to the Crimson or would Aria like a trip to the jungle?

Cyrus looked up. "Say, do any of you girls miss home? Well, the biome you came from? Is the forest a good place for all of you?"

Annelida thought about it for a few seconds before responding. "Well… maybe for old time's sake? I can't remember the Corruption well- what was it like?"

"Very creepy. Unnerving in a way that was hard to describe- like the land itself was somehow cursed or warped. I mean I'd be willing to take a day trip or something or maybe make a house… but I couldn't live there. It would make me sick."

Medulla perked up as well. "Can you tell me what the Crimson was like?"

"Similar vibe, but not exactly the same. I wouldn't want to live there, just because the landscape is so visceral. Like walking through a rotting corpse. There was a bit of strange beauty to both of them- the beautiful purples and reds- but there was something so undeniably off about both…"

Medulla sighed and looked down in disappointment. "That's a shame. I would like to see what's it like, just once."

"I'd be happy to take you, of course. Just… I wouldn't want to stay. Maybe you'll manage in the biomes better, or you might just have lost the part of yourself that made you like the Crimson?"

"Who knows, I guess we'll just have to find out."

Cyrus smiled. "It's a date then."


Cyrus found himself back in the sickroom again- maybe Abigail should start charging rent? Their newest guest was resting, but seemed to be getting close to waking up, or at least that's what Abigail told him. Her chest was rising and falling gently even under her heavy armor, but of course Cyrus wasn't one to judge a person for unusual casual wear.

"So… anything unusual about this girl, Abigail?" Cyrus sat down next to the bed, a pitcher of water next to him.

The nurse sat down on the other side of the bed. "Not really, no. The armor covers a lot of her figure, so I can't get specifics."

"Isn't that unusual? None of the other girls had armor, did they? It seems a little… martial, doesn't it?"

"Well, Francisca has all sorts of weapons built into her arms, and Titania has all those tricks with light… the armor's just clothes, after all."

As they talked, the subject of their conversation stirred, until eventually her eyes fluttered open, revealing a pair of brilliant amber eyes like Aqua's. She licked her cracked lips. "Water. Can I get… some water?"

Cyrus obliged and passed her the entire pitcher- no use in pouring her a glass if she was going to drink it all, right?

And drink it all she did, until there was nothing but ice left in the pitcher. "Thank you kindly, stranger. Who are you?"

"I'm Cyrus. And you?"

"My name is Terra."

Cyrus chuckled a little. "Terra… as in terra-cotta? Like ceramics?"

"I suppose so?" She shrugged. "I guess there's some pun value there. Whatever."

"You hungry or anything?"

She smiled. "Very."


Lacrima and the twins had volunteered to join him on his little trip, but before they all left in the direction of the dungeon, Bea came rushing out, a bunch of packages in her hands. "Wait up! I've got something for you!"

"What is it?"

Bea flushed a little, and Cyrus could almost imagine her twiddling her fingers or fulfilling some other nervous tic, if her hands weren't full of boxes. "I made some lunches for all four of you. Figured I'd make some use out of them before that Terra girl eats us out of house and home."

"Wait… is she that bad?"

"I think it's her metabolism; she burns through food something fierce. She volunteered to help, which is certainly a relief." Bea passed them the boxes and scratched her cheek. "I will admit that some more help would be nice… Competent help."

Cyrus laughed before putting his hand over his heart in a melodramatic fashion, "Ohh! How you wound me! That really hurts, Bea. I can't bee-lieve you'd insult me like that."

Bea chuckled. "Be safe out there, alright? Lacrima, Asta, Tina- keep an eye on him, won't you? Make sure none of the skeletons are carrying kitchen knives, you know?"


Cyrus was genuinely curious about the new features of the dungeon, and what sort of strange new treasures may be in store. He had seen some really weird places while out exploring, and he had to admit he was something of an addict to exploration. Of course, he knew it was dangerous, but there was so much to see, so much to do- how could he sit by the side and twiddle his thumbs when he knew a whole world was out there to experience?

It had been ages since Cyrus had looked upon the blue bricks of the dungeon- he had explored it before, but that was quite a while back, shortly after Lacrima joined their number. "It's kind of nostalgic, honestly. I still remember fighting your previous form, Lacrima."

Lacrima chuckled and flushed in embarrassment. "I'm glad you got better. It wasn't fun to wake up and realize everyone was angry at me for hurting you."

"It's fine. I probably deserve to get my ass kicked every once in a while- keeps me humble, ya know."

Asta and Tina, seemed curious, and one of them- red eyes, so it was Tina- spoke up. "I don't remember hearing about that. You'll have to regale us with that particular tale…" She seemed to end her sentence, and Cyrus perked up, before she continued with a smirk. "Sir."

Cyrus groaned. "Please don't call me that." She gave him a grin that might have been perfectly innocent on Cthylla's face- and Cyrus would have bought it- but he knew her better. He sighed. "Well okay, Lacrima's story is kind of interesting, and starts with a mysterious person at the dungeon's entrance…"

Asta perked up. "Like that person?" Cyrus looked where she was pointing, and sure enough, there was a strange person standing at the entrance of the dungeon, although their figure was obscured by a great flowing coat made of blue fabric with gold trim. Fine runes were written into the garment's hem with brilliant silver threads, but the strangest thing about this figure's get up was their mask.

The figure's mask was as white as bone, with a long, birdlike nose (Cyrus' brain provided the term plague doctor, but once again it seemed unwilling to tell him anything else. What plague?). The mask had eye holes cut into it, sharp and angular, and it gave the impression that the figure was permanently glaring at him.

They were murmuring in a strange language Cyrus couldn't understand and wildly gesticulated with their gloved hands, which glowed with a strange golden aura… an aura that seemed to link the figure to a massive tablet that hovered in the air, surrounded by a strange golden fire that made it hard to look at- if you'd even want to, considering the incredibly ugly face carved onto the stone of the tablet. It was a mess of tentacles and strange runes, and just like the carvings in the Jungle temple there was something deeply unnatural about it that nearly made Cyrus sick.

The figure seemed to notice them, but was too caught up in managing the tablet to pay them any mind. The long nose of their mask gently bobbed up and down as they analyzed every inch of the thing, the fire around the disk growing brighter as they spoke and dimming as they stayed silent.

Cyrus was quite excited; it was rare to meet a stranger around these parts, at least one who wasn't spawned from a terrible monster. He took a step forward and greeted the figure. "Hey! Need some help?"

The figure didn't reply, and was completely enraptured with the disk in front of them. After a few moments of silence, Cyrus figured that whatever this disk was, it incredibly important, so much so that they felt they couldn't pay attention to anything else.

Cyrus circled the disk, looking up and down its strange, carved figures. The etchings continued onto the back of the disk- and the sides too, it was strangely thick, easily a hand's breadth- and if the subject matter was a bit more pleasant, it would have been beautiful. Minor chips and scratches detracted from the craftsmanship, but it was still a work of art. He couldn't help but wonder what it was made of- he had never seen a substance quite like it, and it was undeniably alien.

He reached out to touch it, and was surprised by how… cold the fire felt. He had never felt such a chill before, and he couldn't help but want to touch the disk's surface, and when one of his gloved fingers tapped the surface, the fire disappeared with a flash as the cloaked figure let out a horrifying wail, long and drawn out.

Within moments, the disk began to crack and shatter, great seams spider-webbing across the surface before it disintegrated in the air- leaving him face to face with the figure, who lunged at Cyrus with a terrible keening cry.

Cyrus stumbled back on his artificial leg before kicking off and flying low, skirting inches above the ground as the cultist glowed with magical power and flew after him. With a strange, looping hand gesture the figure was surrounded by four balls of fire which orbited around them like moons- before flying at Cyrus in sequence.

Oh, this was going to be interesting. He dove out of the way, flying mere inches above the grass and flattening it with the beating of his wings. He looked back to see the cultist making a strange gesture, more angular, like they were drawing a star in the air or something. This time, a tremendous ball of ice appeared in front of them and flew at Cyrus, sending great icicle chunks flying through the air.

Cyrus had to swerve around to avoid the icicles- they had a strange spread, sinking into the ground and particularly unfortunate trees if they didn't go flying high in to the skies. He made sure to start responding with his flail.

He flew in close with hopes of landing a direct hit, and he could hear the figure's chanting as he approached, in some strange tongue that garbled any possible meaning. Just before Cyrus' flail landed in the person's stomach, they teleported away with a flash of brilliant light; Cyrus turned to look at them just as they made a gesture like a lightning bolt- before a tremendous flash and a sound like a cannon.

The next thing he knew, he was soaring away from the figure, falling towards the ground, which was more of a green blur than anything remotely recognizable. Just before he was about to face plant into the hard soil, he turned his fall into a somersault that transformed into a leap that sent him back into the air with most of his speed.

With an echoing laugh, the figure seemed to split into three similar figures, and they separated before a tremendous circle appeared between them. The chanting grew louder now, but Cyrus thought it sounded weird- it didn't seem like three people speaking, it still seemed like one. Cyrus took an experimental swing at one of the figures, only for the flail to phase right through them. The cultist let out a horrible laugh before a massive dragon flew from the summoning circle, the sun shining through its transparent scales.

The cultist and their doppelgangers danced through the air, firing off more strange magical attacks while letting the dragon get up close and personal. The ghostly wyvern soared straight at him, and Cyrus exploited the thing's incorporeal nature- and he sent his flail flying down the length of the thing as it howled in fury.

Eventually, he managed to defeat the thing while dodging great balls of fire which singed the ground and thunderbolts that split trees down the middle. Eventually, the cultists sprouted another two doppelgangers- meaning there were five now- and they started chanting again. Cyrus was sure now- only one of them was actually talking, the rest weren't there. He looked between the figures, desperate to find any minor difference between them, when he spotted it. Four of the figures had incorrect masks- the eye holes were circular- while only one had the original's glare.

Cyrus grinned and struck out with his flail, magical bubbles striking the real deal as the fakes disappeared into puffs of smoke as the summoning circle shattered. So that was it.

Now that he knew who to aim for, things became much easier, and none of the doppelgangers lasted very long after their initial appearances. Just as he was getting used to the cultist's tempo and started to recognize the spells that were associated with the various hand gestures, they made a new one, and Cyrus was immediately suspicious.

It was a massive circular gesture that took the cultist a few seconds to do, and Cyrus got a few licks in before flying away, unwilling to get close to whatever the cultist had in store. A great skull sprung from the figure's outstretched hands, a dark purple apparition that seemed to dissolve as it flew through the air, long ribbons of purple magic trailing behind it.

Cyrus had learned that magic with skulls tended to be especially nasty and he made sure to fly out of the way; before the skull burst into four deep purple blasts, and Cyrus had to dive into the treeline to avoid them- not that he regretted it, considering the aura of sheer malevolence that those balls were surrounded by. His armor meant that he did more damage to the trees than the limbs did to him, but that didn't make it any less enjoyable.

The cultist let out a furious cry and sent massive balls of fire into the forest in an attempt to smoke him out as Cyrus struck with the flail, nearly felling trees with every blow. Eventually, Cyrus was forced to flee from the forest as the smoke grew too thick to bear, but he opened up with a flurry of blows as he leapt from the foliage.

The magical attacks honestly weren't that bad, and he could dodge them more often than not; however, the Cultist just just as good at avoidance as Cyrus was, in addition to being capable of teleporting. Cyrus was honestly a little jealous- what he wouldn't give to be able of teleporting!

Eventually, as the cultist sent another massive ball of ice, Cyrus had another one of his trademark stupid ideas- he managed to use his hook to swing around the thing while it was in air, letting him get up incredibly close the figure and land a decisive blow to their mask before flying away. Looking back, he could see that they were still on the offense, but there was a massive crack across the mask.

Unfortunately, the cultist was clever enough to catch on quickly, and was much more happy to teleport from Cyrus, to the point where he could barely get within range and could only hit the figure with bubbles. Sure, they were magical, empowered bubbles, but watching them pop against the figure's cloak didn't do much for his confidence.

The sky began to darken, so long had they struggled for, and while some of the more showy attacks became easier to dodge, that strange purple spell became dangerously hard to track. Sometimes, he dodged on pure instinct alone, guessing where the attacks were coming from because the only trace of the attack he saw was the cultist's strange gesturing.

Nevertheless, it was clear that both of them were exhausted- the time between the cultist's spells was steadily growing, not that Cyrus could really exploit that considering how much his own fatigue dragged him down. He started using his hook more and more as the fight dragged on, as it let it him maintain his speed and move around horizontally without having to exhaust himself.

Suddenly, Cyrus realized that there was something of a pattern to the cultist's teleportation, in the way it tried to exploit his blind spots by teleporting directly behind him. He smiled and approached normally, but when the cultist teleported away Cyrus used his hook to arrest his momentum and he turned it into a spin- sending the head of the flail directly into the cultist's face, shattering the mask into a collection of porcelain shards which gleamed in the moonlight.

However, the figure themselves didn't disintegrate into smoke, and Cyrus dove to catch the person- and once he caught them, he could feel feminine curves in his arms- and he managed to land safely near the dungeon's entrance, where the other girls were waiting for him.

They seemed to have made something of a picnic out of it- their lunches (except for his, thankfully) were finished- and they rose to greet him as he landed. "That was a long one, wasn't it Cyrus?" Lacrima chuckled.

"I suppose. This lady could certainly dodge."

"This lady?" Lacrima quirked her head.

"Well, it's kind of the trend by this point, but I mean, look at her!" She was actually quite the sight- the mask and hood covered up a beautiful, narrow face and the billowy robes hid a svelte figure. Her hair was long and as black as pitch, and a few of the long strands were caught in her glasses, and Cyrus had to wonder how the pair of spectacles survived it all.

"She's very pretty… I wonder if she'll want to keep the robes? I'm sure I could make something fetching for her." Lacrima was looking at her speculatively.

Asta picked up his lunch box and gestured to him. "Maybe you should get something to eat, Cyrus. Set her down, it's not like she's going to-"

Just before Asta could finish speculating about when the girl might wake up, she did, her eyes snapping open to reveal a brilliant pair of blues, the same color as her robes. "What… have you done?" she croaked.

Cyrus gulped. "What… have I done?"

"You've unleashed… something terrible." Her eyes closed once more; before Cyrus could question what exactly he had managed to unleash, but it seemed like the world gave him his answer when the ground itself trembled terribly.


"What the-" Cyrus looked up, and saw four brilliant pillars of light, burning brilliantly in the sky. Behind them, past the dungeon, was a brilliant orange light that reached towards the stars, and the others were similar, although of different colors. Soft blue, vivid pink, a sickly sort of green… Cyrus realized they were the same colors on the doorway in his dream.

"That doesn't look too good."

"You think?"

Cyrus sighed before pulling out the mirror. "This is gonna be a little awkward since there are five of us, but I think we can manage. Huddle up, everyone!"

Everyone was in a bit of a hubbub when they got back, obviously due to the brilliant lights in the sky. The columns were still up in the sky when they returned, and Cyrus wondered how long they would be staying- they were fairly inspiring at first, but he imagined they'd get annoying quickly, especially if they were glaring through windows or the like.

In fact, someone already seemed more than annoyed. "My eyes! Ahh! Does someone have a pair of sunglasses?"

Cyrus followed the shouting to find Cthylla, who was valiantly trying to hide from the windows. He taped her shoulder gently and she turned, although she was still covering her eyes. "Cyrus? What did you do?"

He chuckled and scratched the back of his head (not that she could see). "Why do you assume it's me?"

"Because you're always pulling stuff like this, Cyrus." He supposed she was right; the world seemed to always be changing thanks to things Cyrus did.

"You wound me." Cyrus put his hand on her shoulder. "I think I can get those sunglasses for you… think I have a few black lenses. I'll get to it."

She gave him a beatific smile and leaned in to kiss him, and who was he to refuse?


Cyrus managed to craft a pair of sunglasses for the girl, and he did have to admit she looked pretty good with them on, for the most part. "They look great. It's just a shame that they cover up your eyes."

She flushed prettily. "Oh, thank you. Seriously though, what did you do to get those lights going?"

"I stopped a cultist. She's in the sickroom. I gather she knows more about the situation than I do, but until she wakes up we're flying blind."

"Our very own Cyrus, flying blind? What a shock."

Cyrus chuckled. "Well, I've handled everything so far, haven't I? We should probably get everyone together and explain exactly what's going on."


"Yeah, uh, Cyrus, what the fuck?" Andi seemed annoyed, although Cyrus supposed he would be as well if a bunch of random beacon lights just sprung up out of nowhere while he was preparing for bed.

"So I found a weird magical disk…" Cyrus expected the chorus of groans that rang out, but that didn't make him feel any less embarassed.

Titania sighed. "And let me guess, you touched it?"

The twins giggled before answering in perfect sync. "He touched it."

"I beat the cultist up, and after I defeated her she said something about me unleashing something terrible."

This was of course followed by a few mutters of "of course", although Cyrus wasn't sure if that was due to the gender of their new guest or his own stupidity- or both.

"So we've got no idea what she was warning us about?" Medulla seemed concerned, and was adjusting her glasses nervously.

"Well, I assume it's something to do with the giant lights, but who knows?"

Titania nodded. "There's something… alien about them. I can just tell, deep in my bones." She groaned. "I can't believe you've done this, Cyrus."

"Well… I mean I'll run out of things to kill eventually, right?"

After a few moments of awestruck silence, their second newest guest, Terra, spoke up. "Well, that's all well and good, I suppose… but I might be able to help improve your armor."

"Really?" Cyrus looked down at his armor- the turtle shell armor which looked so strong at first didn't look as good. He felt a little bad that he was ruining the girl's hard work, and he definitely wouldn't mind her patching it up a little.

"Yep yep. Can you take it off?" Several of the girls flushed, but Cyrus began to carefully undo the straps and belts that kept the armor on.

"Hey hey hey! What do you think you're doing?!" Visca looked scandalized, but quite a few of the girls seemed more interested in watching than anything. Nicola in particular was staring, nearly transfixed.

"Do you think I don't wear clothes under my armor? Come on- without something under it, it would be all sharp, hard edges on my skin."

Cyrus gave the armor over to Terra, and she handled it with remarkable grace. The stuff was very heavy, but she handled it with one hand easily, and after a quick "thank you!" she walked off and got to work, leaving Cyrus bare. It was a strange feeling, to be sure. He was so used to wearing armor that going without while not in his room was a little weird.

One of the girls- Regina, maybe?- gave an appreciative whistle. "Damn, the armor really covers up those muscles."

After a moments of silence, she spoke up again. "Wait, did I say that out loud?"


Eventually, Cyrus managed to track Terra and his armor down, and he joined Judith and Meredith in watching her at work. And damn, she could work, hammering away at the armor and attaching some sort of strange, chitinous substance to it.

Cyrus leaned over to Judith, keeping his voice low so he didn't interrupt Terra's work. "What's she adding to the armor? I can't recognize it."

Judith chuckled a little. "Blimey, I could hardly believe it- beetle shells! Bleeding massive beetle shells!"

Cyrus whistled. "Well, do you think they're good?"

"Aye. I could barely scratch 'em with my finest hammer, and here this lassie goes, hammering 'em into shape with a few blows. She's really something."

She definitely was, and Cyrus definitely admired her, but he had to wonder how she was handling all this heat- she had a raging fire going to help shape the armor and mend it properly, in addition to wearing that thick, dense armor.

"I'm gonna grab her some ice water."


Before Cyrus could start wondering where to get ice from, he bumped into Crista, nearly sending her to the floor, but she recovered with grace. "Hello, Cyrus." she looked down at the glass of water he was holding, which he had managed to keep from spilling. "You want me to cool that?"

"How did you know?"

"Who likes their water lukewarm, huh?" She gave the glass a gentle tap, and the cup grew freezing cold, to the point that Cyrus almost wanted to drop it.

"Want to come with? Terra's working on something interesting."

"Sure, why not?"


They came in as Terra was finishing the job, and she sat down a beautiful helm that looked almost beetle like, a pair of ridges serving as faux antenna. She turned around, and jumped back in surprise when she realized that she had company. "Oh… hi there."

"Want some water?" She nodded, and drank greedily of the water, spare droplets going down her chin as she gulped it down in seconds.

"Aaahh. That's really satisfying, but I'm still hot." She turned to Cyrus. "You think I could just go outside to cool off?"

Cyrus chuckled. "That might work, but we've got a better option right here." He gestured to Crista, who gave Terra's chestplate a gentle tap.

"Wow. That's really something, but now that I'm done with the armor, put it on!" She seemed very excited all of a sudden, and he couldn't help but oblige the girl.

His new armor fit like a glove, and it was definitely visually impressive, gleaming beautifully in the light of the forge. There was even a complex mechanism to allow his wings through without compromising the integrity of the armor. "This really is something. How'd you do it?"

"Well, I just layered the shells over the turtle armor, using them to boost the integrity in places. Wouldn't be nearly as good without a solid foundation, after all." Judith and Meredith both puffed up a little, proud of a job well done.

"But… where did you get the shells?"

She give him a grin. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"… Yeah?"

"It's to do with my armor, actually. It's supposed to regenerate itself in sunlight, and it produces all this super hard chitin to do so... but it's wasted if I'm not damaging my armor. So… I figured I'd make productive use of it."

"Your armor repairs itself in sunlight?" Meredith seemed interested, and Cyrus couldn't help but agree. Not having to repair his armor or replace it entirely after every scrap would be a marvelous change of pace.


Cyrus had taken up his vigil in the sickroom once again, hoping to hear more from the cultist girl, and whatever mysterious doom they were facing in the immediate future. The towers of light in the distance hadn't dimmed at all, and burned brightly even in the light of the sun.

Looking at the girl sprawled out over the bed, Cyrus had to admit it was a remarkable change. He could barely imagine such a slip of a girl being capable of dishing out such incredible damage, but he supposed that was the advantage of magic, that you didn't need extreme physical strength to get the job done.

Eventually, her eyes opened… only for her to send a venomous glare his way. "You again. Have you realized the tremendous magnitude of your failure?"

"Could you enlighten me, miss?"

She sighed. "Well I suppose if you're too much of a phillistine to realize how bad your situation is, I'm obligated to explain things to you."

"Before you get any funny ideas about me being some sort of lunatic cultist, I will have you know that I wasn't summoning something- I was holding it back."

"Is the thing you were holding back what you warned me about?"

She rolled her eyes. "Of course. You saw the brilliant lights in the sky, I assume? Those are a stopgap… temporary measures to control it until a more proper seal can be established."

Cyrus perked up at that. "So, all we need to do is restore whatever funky magical ritual you were doing and things will go back to normal?"

"No. First off, the ritual required that carved disc- the one you broke into tiny pieces and disintegrated."

Cyrus had the decency to look embarrassed at this point. "Woops."

She glared at him. "Woops indeed. Anyone touching it would have ruined it, but you were the one who did it. Maybe, if I beat you quickly enough I could have scraped together something… but since you kicked the shit out of me, I'm too magically weak to do anything, if that vile power can even be stopped anymore."

"What will happen if the pillars of light fail?"

"Not if, when. If they're destroyed by the entity breaking free… the chaos would be incredible. It would warp the land, befoul nature itself. Maybe, if you purposed caused each pillar to collapse, you could confront the entity in a way that wouldn't cause too much damage."

"Then we could beat it?"

She looked directly at him, blue eyes alight with mirth, before she burst into laughter. "Defeat it? Good luck. Imprisoning it was an incredible feat, accomplished only while it was asleep and crippled. It would strike you off the face of the earth like a mite. It would require all the fury of the cosmos to even scratch it. Earthly arms simply aren't important enough, on a cosmic scale, to strike it down."


Dramatis Personae:

Cyrus: the player character, harem protagonist

Cthylla: ex-Eye of Cthulhu, in relationship with Cyrus

Annelida: ex-Eater of Worlds, in relationship with Cyrus

Medulla: ex-Brain of Cthulhu, in relationship with Cyrus

Visca: still insists on being called King of the Slimes, in relationship with Cyrus

Bea: ex-Queen Bee

Lacrima: ex-Skeletron, clothier replacement, in relationship with Cyrus

Andrea/Andi: ex-Wall of Flesh

Asta: ex-Spazmatism

Tina: ex-Retinazer

Francisca: ex-Skeleton Prime

Regina: ex-Queen Slime

Ditra- ex-Destroyer

Aria: ex-Plantera

Picea: ex-Everscream

Nicola: ex-Santa-NK1

Crista: ex-Ice Queen

Aqua: ex-Duke Fishron

Titania: ex-Empress

Terra: ex-Golem

?: ex-Lunatic Cultist

Nissa: the Dryad

Veronica: the Zoologist

Meredith: the Mechanic

Abigail: the Nurse

Judith: the Steampunker

Roxanne: the Stylist


I know making the thicc girl super hungry is kind of a bad look/obvious, but I'm more imagining her as supernaturally hungry- very strong, but burning through fuel like a furnace to keep at it.

We're in the endgame now, folks. I'm thinking a pillar and side event/girl each chapter. Pirates + a pillar, Martians + a pillar, maybe Old One's + a pillar? I was considering slipping a nymph in there, but you know. There's approximately 0 time between the last pillar and Moon Lord so... or maybe make a triple feature out of the events we haven't covered?

As always, tell me what you think!