The Lunar Lady


It is time, my gamers

Oh, and about the Princess, I'm thinking of maybe introducing her, but not as a harem member. She seems to be a kid, so if she's showing up it's probably going to be for one of those "the gang looks after a baby/kid" plots (I suppose I could also age her up but idk). If anyone would think that's interesting. I love me wholesome fluff from time to time.

As always, welcome back to another edition of Bad Harem Tropes: the Terraria fanfiction


Breakfast had been mostly silent before, but everyone seemed a little on edge, which was fairly understandable, all things considered. Cyrus ate through his truly towering portions in silence, wondering what exactly was going to happen.

The next thing he knew he was sitting in front of an empty plate, and the lack of conversation in the room only became more awkward. Welp, here goes nothing. "So… I suppose this is it. I'll be heading out to fight the pillar today, and then whatever comes next."

Cyrus stood up from the table, and was nearly sent tumbling to the floor when a blur slammed into his side. Cthylla had clamped her arms around his waist, her head pressed into his chest. Of course, Cyrus reciprocated the hug and held her close.

She mumbled something into his chest. "I… lo… you, Cyrus…"

"What was that, sorry?"

Cthylla cheeks turned a brilliant red. "I… I love you, Cyrus," she stared at him with those deep sapphire eyes, almost pleading. "Don't you dare die out there, alright?"

"I won't." Cyrus reassured her, and while he wasn't completely confident in his victory, he didn't want to imagine those vivid blue eyes being filled with pain and sadness. Well, Cyrus wouldn't be alive to see it, but still.

"Damn, way to show us all up, huh?" Annelida muttered, before she slithered over and wrapped her arms around them both. She turned to Cyrus and looked him in the eyes. "Just… please, do your best, alright?"

"Yeah, I will. Don't you worry." He could still see worry in her many, many eyes, worry that he admittedly shared.

The three person group hug quickly ballooned until he was surrounded by reaching hands and reminders to stay safe out there- he couldn't help but grin as everyone clumped around him, but when he turned and saw Asteria sitting in the corner, looking rather down, his expression soured.

He slowly started working his way towards his room, so he could don his armor and get his whole deal over with, but he found someone blocking his path: Bea.

"Uhh, Bea, you need something?"

She muttered something to herself, clearly not an answer to Cyrus' question. "This could be my last chance, right?" She gave him a determined look, wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed him.

Her lisps tasted sweet, almost like honey, and he almost reciprocated before she leapt backwards, her cheeks a fiery red. "I… I actually did it." She giggled, before realizing that she was on the receiving end of a number of glares from Cyrus' girlfriends. He quickly decided to make a tactical retreat and handle something a little less dangerous… like some terrible lunar deity that could bring about the end of the world.


After putting on his armor, there was nothing else Cyrus could possibly do to delay- until he heard someone calling out to him. Turning, he was faced with Titania of all people.

"Titania?"

She rolled her eyes. "Could I be anyone else?"

"I suppose not. Do you have a tear filled goodbye for me?"

"Of course not." She pulled out something from her dress, a sort of badge or insignia that seemed to be made of some strange crystal- it glimmered and shone oddly. "I'd like you to take this."

"Is it a good luck charm?"

"No. It genuinely has some magical ability that makes you fly faster. I wasn't willing to part with it before, but I do have to admit that you're probably our best shot of surviving this whole deal."

She pressed it into his hands, and suddenly Cyrus felt physically lighter, as if he had lost weight, and his wings felt stronger than ever before. He blinked and stretched his wings. "Wow. That's certainly something."

Titania smiled. "Why of course it is, it's mine. I suppose that if you survive… you can keep it."

Cyrus chuckled. "Well now I'll win for sure." He leapt into the air with his usual amount of force- and went he flying into the sky like a rocket. Faintly, he could hear Titania laughing as he pivoted in the air, trying his best to adjust to this new speed boost.


The last of the pillars filled the air with a strange pink tint, and Cyrus could already feel the start of a headache going on. Ugh. Cyrus couldn't exactly rub his head considering that that he was wearing armor, so he supposed he would just to have to deal with it.

As if the pillar somehow sensed what he was thinking, some sort of strange… brain creature flew over the hills, flying straight for his skull, and considering the wreath of tentacles under the brain, it was probably going to cause some serious mental trauma. Immediately, he lashed out with his Solar Eruption, tracing a great line of brilliant orange through the air an splitting the brain in two.

The more he explored, Cyrus was struck by all the exposed craniums going on around here- every single monster he faced had a big, exposed brain that glowed a vivid pink. Some of the creatures sent off brilliant pink lasers, while others just tried to attack him up close with fangs, claws, or tentacles, not to mention the creatures that did a little bit of both.

So Cyrus meted out a lot of cranial trauma, which wasn't hard considering how some of the creatures were like half brain. Some part of him wondered what strange, terrible intelligences dwelled within those minds, but honestly… he probably didn't want to find out.

Still, there were a lot of the little buggers… Cyrus slammed his head into his palm, leading to the strange sound of dense chitin on dense chitin- he was wearing armor after all. He pulled out the staff Asteria had made for him and summoned the strange spectral dragon to his side, so at least he wasn't completely alone.

Cyrus was almost surprised when the barrier shattered, almost randomly, until he realized that the dragon was out, independently attacking its own targets. What a reliable little creature.

Of course, Cyrus headed in the direct of the pillar, its great mass covered in strange pink crystals which dotted its sides. Happily enough, this one didn't seem to directly attack him, although it sent out swarms of creatures in a vain attempt to defend itself from Cyrus' onslaught.

He lashed out again and again, tearing great pink lines into the side of the pillar, which hung in the air in a way that almost seemed serene. After enough blows, the pillar seemed to fade away, the pillar turning into a cascade of pink stardust, and Cyrus almost instinctually flinched, waiting for horrific pain or screaming… but there was nothing physical.

Unsurprisingly, the pillar left more than just strange pink dust behind… there was a girl, with brilliant pink hair. Normally, he'd just mirror home with his new guest, but he also didn't want whatever was coming to wreck his home. Fortunately, he managed to teleport her home without coming along with the trip (he just lifted her hand and dropped it onto the mirror) and hoped that the others would keep an eye on her.

Even if he didn't feel anything physical there was a sort of mental pain, as if he was struck by a feeling of terror, of horrible fear, a certainty that he was going to die, be crushed by something so much greater than himself. He almost retched, and he could feel sweat rolling down his skin under his armor.

Vaguely, he realized that the sky was beginning to darken, even if there was no actual cloud cover. It was almost as if the world was loosing its brightness, or if they had fallen into some tremendous patch of shadow.

His remaining natural knee felt weak, and he could hear his metal leg shivering in something that might have been sheer terror. He gripped his Solar Eruption tightly in one hand, and toyed with his yoyo in the other. It was a childish toy… but somehow, he felt like a child, waiting guiltily for their parent to arrive and deliver punishment.

The sky continued to darken, getting blacker and blacker until there was a brilliant flash of white, so brilliant that it almost felt painful- and then terror. Terror, terror.


At the same time back in the village, there was a similar feeling of dread, almost sickening, especially for the girls that had been monsters previously. Abigail and Aria, who were busy tidying up their little sickroom/hospital (because Abigail was certain he'd get himself injured somehow if- no, when, when, he won) when the latter doubled over.

"Aria, are you alright?"

"...I'm fine physically… but don't you feel it?"

"Feel… what?"

"That wrongness in the air…"

Abigail was going to ask what exactly Aria meant by wrongness when she took a look out of the window- the sky was dark, although it had been bright mere moments again. "There's… there's definitely something wrong here, I'll give you that."


Was… was he hallucinating? Surely, there must have been something wrong with his eyes or brain, because what he was seeing couldn't possibly be real. The arms were too tall and too wide, so big that you could fit a house inside it, great pulsing veins and arteries thicker around than his arms. Veins which pumped brilliant blue blood.

The skin was a sort of grayish brown which was pulled tight over bulging muscle, but in places the skin was broken up by brilliant blue. In the centers of the palms, there were great blue-white eyes which sent terrible glares, a writhing mass of blue tipped tentacles near the head, a great exposed brain.

It had no legs, no waist, but rather a great cavernous emptiness where the lower body would be, where the organs would be. There was an exposed spine, sturdy and tall like a tower, with pale ribs coming off of it, ribs so large that Cyrus could stand on one without being able to reach the one above it.

He had trouble grasping the thing in its entirety… it more than filled his field of view, meaning that he had to physically move his head to look from one end of the body to another. For those moments, all Cyrus could really do was stare, and the creature stared back with many eyes. It was graced with seven eyes across its body, one on each hand and four on the face, although only the eye on the forehead seemed to work properly of the five. The other four, which were positioned kind of normally, were cloudy blue and presumably blind.

It took him a solid moment to realize that the creature was lunging at him, striking out with one of its great hands in an attempt to crush him flat, like some sort of bug. The glaring eye in the center of the hand almost transfixed him, but at the last moment he leapt out of the way, threading the needle between two vast fingers.

Flying up high into the air, he looked at the creature from above- it towered above its surroundings, the great trees below it barely scraping its bottom ribs. Thankfully, it seemed to be crippled or incomplete in some way- and Cyrus would take every advantage he could get.

He lashed out with the Solar Eruption, attempting to cut away at the great arms, but when the weapon struck, it just bounced off impotently. With shaking hands, he pulled the Solar Eruption back and spiraled out of the way of some sort of strange, grasping tentacle which sprouted from the creature's mouth.

Was… was it invincible? Could he win at all? Before he could plummet into hopelessness, he shook himself. If the enemy's strong… all you need to do is strike where it's weak, and Cyrus was very familiar with cheap shots. So struck with his solar eruption once more… but this time he aimed for the great eye directly in the center of the beast's forehead, and it let out a great, terrible cry of pain that shook Cyrus to his bones as some foul ichor leaked from its wound.

The great eye snapped shut (with sideways eyelids… eugh.) and a great fusillade of brilliant blue projectiles poured forth from the eyes on the other hands, which chased Cyrus through the air. Thankfully, with his new agility boost, he could avoid them with ease, dancing around the beast's vast torso and smoothly flying between the ribs.

On the bright side, most of the creature's attacks were very bright and very glowy, making them easy to see in the strange gloom that had arrived so suddenly. As Cyrus flew away to get a bit of distance between himself and the great beast, it began to follow, however sluggishly, and as its hands moved through the air, the eyes left glowing after images. After images which, after a few moments, began flying at Cyrus.

He swerved out of the way, narrowly avoiding one… just before it exploded, sending Cyrus spiraling through the air and quite literally blowing his artificial leg into pieces. Thankfully, he felt like a much better flier now… hopefully, he could finish this thing off before he needed to land.

Speaking of finishing it off, Cyrus sent another attack at one of the eyes on the hands, which snapped shut again after the Solar Eruption struck true. Before Cyrus could start worrying that he would only be able to get three good blows in, the eye on the forehead opened… before starting to glow brilliantly. Uh oh.

Then it seemed as if the world itself was being torn asunder by a great shining beam of light, and Cyrus shot up high into the air, trying to avoid the laser that cut through the ground and trees with ease.


Back in the village, anyone even near a window saw it- a great lance of brilliant light which rose into the sky, cutting through the gloom like a sword.

Andi couldn't help but think that a laser of that size put Titania to shame, and she would have voiced that sentiment if she wasn't busy retching.


Narrowly, he managed to escape the laser, and Cyrus was very grateful for the little insignia that Titania had given him- without it, he'd probably be a fine powder by now.

Fortunately for him, the giant laser required an open eye… so Cyrus could freely attack the eye on the forehead with ease until the eyelids closed once more. He couldn't pierce the eyelid despite it (presumably) being rather thin, so he redirected his attacks to the eyes on the hands, focusing on whichever one of them was open, and tried to focus on the left hand in particular, just so he could disable one of the eyes early.

He couldn't help but grin when one of his attacks sunk in particularly deep, providing quite some resistance when he pulled the blade back; however, he certainly wasn't expecting the entire eye to pop out too. Cyrus dove under the floating eye and looked at the hand… and the mess of fangs that gnashed and snapped inside the empty eye socket.

Deciding not to contemplate how uncomfortable an eye-mouth-hand thing must be, Cyrus flew out of the way as the strange lunar monster attempted to slap him- or maybe it was trying to eat him with the mouth on its hand? Either option didn't sound too enjoyable, so Cyrus dodged out of the way.

The independent eye that was flying around was doing its own attacks, firing off strange bursts of energy or more of those strange phantom after images, not to mention a mimicry of the same terrible laser that came from the eye on the forehead.

Cyrus directed his focus on the other hand next, and wasn't surprised when a second floating eye joined the first, the pair filling the sky with even more projectiles as the main body lashed out with its great hands. Unfortunately, it seemed the the giant had wised up and only opened its eyes for just enough time to fire off a laser, but it still gave Cyrus windows to strike, however short they may be.

Finally, it seemed like the creature was about to start another one of its laser attacks, he got in close- so close he could kick give the creature a good, hard kick to the pectorals (which he did, just to spite it) before weaving through the great mass of tentacles and plunging the Solar Eruption into the creature's eyes from mere inches away.

There was an unearthly bellow of pain as the third eye broke free of its socket, and flying backwards Cyrus could get a full view of the creature, and saw great blue fragments flaking away from its chest, exposing a throbbing heart easily Cyrus' height, pumping blue blood through great veins.

Immediately, Cyrus knew that this was his target, and he dove in to strike at it- only to nearly get hit by one of the loose eyes, which were orbiting their original body like three terrible moons. All attacks against the eyes just seemed to bounce off, so Cyrus decided to just focus on the heart and end things- not that the creature would be happy with that idea.

So he kept his distance, diving in to deal a few strikes to the heart before flying out of the way of a massive hand. Vaguely, he realized that they were slowly working their way closer and closer to the village- he had to do an awful lot of fleeting to keep alive after all, but it was best that he finished this before things got a little too close to home.

Looking at the ground under him, he could see the clearing in the woods he had used to fight so many terrible enemies before. Perfect. He continued to bait the creature in that direction, launching probing strikes at the heart all the while, which was bleeding quite visibly by now.

However, before he could deal the finishing glow with his Solar Eruption, he saw a brilliant flash out of the corner of his eyes- shit. Swerving out of the way, he managed to get most of his body out of the way, but watched transfixed as the laser just tore through the armor covering his arm, burning away at the thick chitin until he could feel a terrible pain across his arm- so excruciating that the Solar Eruption fell from his hands, crashing into the forest below.

Immediately, Cyrus retreated, trying his best not to provoke his arm- which was still there, thankfully, even if severely burnt- and landed in the clearing. How fitting, that his journey would end here, one way or the other, back where it started with the eye.

He pulled out his second solar weapon, took aim, and threw. It shot out of his hands like a rocket, a burning lance of brilliant orange which plunged directly into the dark heart of the giant- and then day broke, the gloom fading away in an instant as the the flesh of the giant dissolved, leaving nothing but great bones and a girl. Because of course.

As he rushed to catch the girl, he realized that Daybreak might be a good name for his spear- which he wouldn't have to use much in the future, hopefully.

Cyrus had to weave through the great falling bones (would he have to clean that up?) to catch the girl, who had an eye smack-dab in the middle of her forehead, just like her previous form, which was a little offputting even while closed, but her brown bangs sometimes covered it. She wore long, flowing robes, kind of antiquated, but fitting in a way. Maybe she would get along with Asteria? They could talk about… weird culty stuff, maybe?


All of a sudden, it stopped- the gloom cleared, the sky brightened, and everyone was no longer feeling quite as sick. For a few moments, there was a sort of awestruck silence- was it over?

"Holy fuck- he did it!" Andi crowed.

Visca rolled her eyes. "Maybe you could treat this historic moment with some of the respect and dignity it deserves?"

"… Nah."

Reactions varied- Asteria was sitting still, staring off in a sort of awestruck silence. It… it was over? The beast that had been held back for so long… vanquished?

Meanwhile, Aria was taking a look out of a window, basking in the warm light of the sun- "Hey guys? I think we've got someone in our lawn!"


With a bit of assistance, their new guest had been brought inside- there were now four separate women waiting in the sickroom, which meant the place was already a little crowded, not to mention the fact that Cyrus hadn't arrived yet.

Aria fiddled with her skirt. "Do you think he's alright? I mean, who knows how dangerous that was…"

"He won, didn't he?" Abigail replied.

"Well, he won against me, didn't he?" Aria snapped back.

"Is worrying going to accomplish anything?"

Before Aria replied, they heard a knocking- at the window? Turning, they saw that Cyrus was at the window, another girl in his arms.

"He did it again. Of course, he does it again." Abigail groaned, but opened the window, letting Cyrus stumble inside, and Aria cringed when she saw the burns wrapping around his arm. After he gingerly set the strange, three eyed girl down on a bed, he was rushed by Aria.

"Are you alright? Your arm-" She resisted her urge to grab onto the burnt arm- Abigail had taught her something, after all- but she gently guided him towards a bed and sat him down, grabbing various medicines off of shelves.

They fell into a comfortable silence as Aria applied a salve to Cyrus' burns; thankfully, she didn't have to worry about prying away any armor from the wound- it was all melted clean away. Well, perhaps the clean thing was questionable- molten chlorophyte and chitin weren't exactly good for the skin, after all, but at least she could access it.

"I'm surprised no one is rushing in here to tackle me."

"Yeah- they do all want you to stay healthy, and that means letting Abigail and me do our jobs."

Cyrus nodded and they fell into comfortable silence as Abigail checked on the five unconscious girls who were also resting in the sickroom.

"So… how do you plan on celebrating?"

"Celebrating?"

"I mean, you've won, haven't you?"

"Hopefully, this is the end, but you know my luck…"

"Our Cyrus- luckiest man in the world!"

"Mhhm."


Once his arm had been treated, they left- none of their new guests seemed to be waking up, and Cyrus was interested in talking to them- they could be the last new faces he saw for a while, not that he wasn't already surrounded by people that he was… very fond of.

Speaking of…

"Cyrus!" If the voice wasn't enough, Cyrus could immediately recognize Visca by feel- no one else gave hugs quite like her (except maybe Regina, who he hadn't hugged yet) and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I made it back in one piece, after all."

Visca looked up at him with a rather unamused expression. "Really? I couldn't tell." She rolled her eyes, but kept on hugging him. "Of course you made it back in one piece… but I'm glad you're alright."

"I'm glad I'm alright too."

Visca sighed. "You kill an eldritch monstrosity and suddenly you're a comedian." She hopped off and backed away- giving some of the others a window.

Annelida did her best to replicate a constrictor snake, wrapping around Cyrus tightly with both arms and tail while she nuzzled her head into his chest. "You're safe, you're safe-"

"Hey, don't hog him!" Cthylla gave a valiant effort to push Annelida off of him, but she couldn't overwhelm that long tail. Still, she made sure to hug Cyrus as well.

Cyrus found himself surrounded by grabbing hands and warm bodies and soft lips… He certainly wasn't complaining though, and the attention didn't falter once his girlfriends had backed off.

"I was… perturbed by your absence, Cyrus." Francisca spoke up, grabbing onto one of his arms. "I'd… prefer it if you didn't participate in such escapades again."

Cyrus chuckled. "I'll… try my best."

Next, Cyrus could hear a metallic scrape as something- no, someone, brushed past the armor covering his legs. Turning, he saw that Ditra, Annelida's mechanical counterpart, was uncomfortably close to him. "Good job out there- I'd be more than happy to congratulate you-"

"Hey!" With a shout, Annelida pulled Ditra back, and Cyrus let out a sigh of relief, before he nearly got tackled to the floor.

He staggered, but thankfully, he didn't fall- he would have brought Aqua down to the floor with him, considering how tightly she was holding onto him. "Hey Cyrus! You won! You've got to tell me about it- I saw all those big lasers in the air- it looked so cool!"

Even as the other girls surrounded him, Cyrus couldn't help but finger the little amulet he received from Titania. Some part of him wondered if she would actually want it back, or if he'd get to keep a rare token of affection from the woman.


Now that Cyrus wasn't worried about dying at the oversized hands of an eldritch horror, he couldn't help but think about Bea. Did she…? Of course. Who was he kidding?

It took a bit of searching to find Bea- she had made herself scarce, but eventually Cyrus tracked her down to the greenhouse, where she sat between rows of vivid looking plants which filled the air with sweetness. "Hey, is this spot taken?"

Bea scooted to the side, letting Cyrus sit down next to her, and for a few moments he just relished being alive to sit here, breathing in the air with a friend- or possibly more, he guessed- next to him. After the silence had gone from comfortable to more than a little awkward, Cyrus cleared his throat. "So… about that kiss."

Bea turned red. "I… well… It was just in the heat of the moment and I was worried I would never see you again and…" she inhaled deeply, "I'm sorry. I just wanted to settle things… if you didn't come back."

"Why are you sorry? I'm glad."

"Ehh?"

"I mean, I'll have to check with the others to make sure you've got the ok- but I already think you're wonderful."

"You're making me blush…" She was indeed blushing.

"There's no reason to bee so embarrassed," Cyrus was rewarded by peals of laughter.

"That's horrible," she chuckled as she stood up.

"And I'm proud." Cyrus retorted. "I suppose I'll go talk with the others- and then maybe I can help you cook something to celebrate?"

"Be quick about it and maybe I let you into the kitchen. Don't want you slicing yourself to bits."

"One time! It was one time!"

As he left the greenhouse, he saw Lacrima and Maia chattering excitedly about something- what could they possibly be talking about? He shook his head and continued on his way.


"I'm telling you, he would love it."

"How are you so sure? How long have you known him?"

"Come on, like anyone would complain, especially not him. Heck, what's the point of making clothes if they're not, you know, worn?"

"They were just a flight of fancy, is all!"

"A flight of fancy you repeated that many times?"

"Alright, alright- but you've got to help me convince the others, yeah?"


Bea received the all clear from the girls, so she joined the club- if club was the right word. Cyrus refused to give in and let the others call it a harem, so he wasn't exactly sure what the right word for it was. It wasn't a question that Cyrus really felt like pondering, but considering that there wasn't much else he could do in the sickroom other than think….

The sickroom was a strange mix of memories for Cyrus- he had recovered from some truly nasty injuries there, but it never really felt like a bad place, maybe thanks to all the pleasant company? Not to mention the fact that he had met, or at least introduced himself to, so many friends (or more) there.

So he was more than happy to spend a bit of time there waiting for any of the girls to wake up. Five new, almost certainly eccentric personalities… well, it wasn't like he had many other things on his plate to worry about.

Finally, his waiting was rewarded when the girl he was sitting next to- one of the four very similar looking girls who owed their origins to the pillars- began to stir. It was rather surprising to see sit up almost immediately- especially since she was in sync with the other three, who also sat up all at once.

"Good morning." Cyrus said, trying his best to hide his unrest. Gosh, this was honestly a little creepy…

"Hello there." And they spoke in sync too. Great. Some part of him was tempted to rush out and grab one of the other girls- maybe Asteria- to help handle this obviously paranormal bullshit.

"Hi… I'm Cyrus. What should I call you?"

"We are… Stella."

Was that like, a royal we, or was she genuinely aware that she was in multiple bodies? What was going on? "It's a pleasure to meet you then. I've gotta ask- is that the name for all of you? Does each body have a name?"

Their heads all tilted to the side in confusion- once again, all at the same time. "But why? We're all the same person, aren't we?"

"Alright, sure. I was just a little surprised by the whole multiple bodies thing." It was definitely up there when it came to weirdness, but Cyrus supposed it made some sorts of sense.

"Could… we get some food? For all four of us?"

"Sounds great- I'll give you the tour. I suppose I could just show one of you around, but if you're all hungry…"

They rose from their beds at the exact same moment- Cyrus wasn't sure he would ever get used to that synchronicity. Hopefully, it would be a little less weird if they were spread out around the town- it wouldn't be weird with just one of them.


Curiously, Cyrus noticed that Stella's orange haired body seemed to sort of lead the pack, in a way: she opened doors first, led them in line, sat down first… Was she like, the head body or the "real" body, or was this body like a person's good hand? Just the one Stella preferred to use for most tasks- maybe because it was technically the oldest body, coming from the first pillar to be defeated?

He was actually having issues just thinking about her, not because of any weird warping of the mind by forces beyond mortal understanding, but rather because he was having issues about thinking about one person spread over four bodies. Stella seemed completely fine- all four of her (see?)- happily eating away without a care in the world.

For whatever reason, he found himself leading only the pink haired body on tour- the others had headed off to do… something. Who knew what they were up to? Introducing themselves to other people, maybe, exploring on their own, just getting some rest- wait, how would sleeping in four bodies work? Would you take shifts?

Cyrus shook his head. Not important- he was giving a tour. However Stella's brain worked, she was attentive and responsive, exchanging small talk with Cyrus, which seemed to be more proof of her good abilities at multitasking- coordinating four bodies sounded like a pain, but Cyrus supposed you would have four times the processing power to do it with...


In time, Cyrus found himself back in the sickroom, waiting for the strange, three eyed girl to wake up from her sleep. Some part of Cyrus wondered if this lady would be the last of them, or if he would be playing host to more guests in the future. Considering his luck, it was likely.

The girl awoke quietly, rising up and looking around with two of her three eyes- the third eye on her forehead stayed shut all the while. The two eyes Cyrus could see were that same pale blue as her previous form's, although they were definitely a little disarming- they looked very similar to Cera's eyes, where they were all blue, with no real delineation between where the iris started and where the whites would normally be.

She was rather stoic looking, although Cyrus couldn't really detect the full range of her emotions for rather obvious, ocular reasons. She stared at him, and Cyrus couldn't help but feel a little intimidated, even she didn't seem to be glaring with any malice.

"Are you the one who defeated me?" Damn, those eyes were so pale- Cyrus shook himself.

"I am- you can call me Cyrus. And your name?"

"...Luna. You can call me Luna." She stood up from the bed and stretched, before looking around the sickroom, like she was searching for something. "Say, you wouldn't happen to have some spare bandage, maybe, or a long strip of cloth?"

Cyrus tossed her a roll of gauze, and she tore off a long strip to wrap around her head, handily covering her forehead eye and somehow managing to tame her hair at the same time. Cyrus was almost tempted to ask why she felt the need to cover her third eye- it was weird, but not intolerable- but stopped himself when he audibly heard her stomach grumble.

"Could… you possibly show me where I could get some food?" Cyrus could see her blush, but refrained from commenting.


Initial plans for a quick meal before a tour around the village were quickly sidelined, and the two of them found themselves outside with a few of the other girls, indulging in a picnic. Still, he found himself drawn to the pale strip of gauze on Luna's forehead.

"You're staring." Luna was nibbling on some sort of crescent shaped pastry, and once again Cyrus was struck by those eyes- it felt like she was looking right through him.

"I'm sorry. I'm just very curious about your third eye- and if it's alright, I'd like to see it." She was silent for a few seconds, and Cyrus almost wondered if he had offended her or broken some unspoken social name, until she nodded.

"Are you sure?" Cyrus nodded- why wouldn't he be sure?- and she opened her third eye, which was the same color as the eyes of its previous form, a very light blue, and then-

Cyrus could see the village, as if he was flying above it, and suddenly his vision seemed to zoom out, the village becoming a speck on the massive island they lived on. Then he saw the whole of the world, a massive globe that gleamed in vibrant colors: there were sapphire seas and emerald forests which were bordered by ruby red Crimson, sickly purple Corruption, bright blue Hallow in swathes too vast to comprehend. Compared to the size of the planet, the villagers were ants- no, they were less than ants, bacteria.

Suddenly, the world shrunk, going from a massive sphere, seemingly all encompassing, to a tiny bluish marble hanging in an inky black, as if it had been dropped there by some strange god. Turning, he could see the other planets, cratered rocks baking in the sun and gas giants covered in whorling clouds, all dancing around a sun that burned incredibly hot. In a way he never had before, Cyrus suddenly comprehended that terrible distance between the planets and their star.

Then the solar system shrunk, until it was nothing but one of countless floating specks, each gleaming with the promise of strange worlds, separated by horrible gaps. Cyrus could travel at his greatest speed for eons and not cover a portion of the distance between those stars. He was nothing- an ant idling along on a mote of dust, which itself spun around a slightly larger mote.

Then, with growing horror, Cyrus realized he wasn't alone. He turned and saw something that he couldn't fully comprehend, at least without descending into terrible madness. It seemed to stretch without end, writhing forests of tentacles covering great mouths and faces that sprouted from other faces, horrible geometries that spun in on themselves like fractals. Cyrus looked into one of its terrible, malevolent eyes, which burned bright blue with all the fury of a supernova. He couldn't move. Whatever this was, it was so far beyond him he couldn't comprehend it, that could destroy him, his village, his entire world- without noticing.

And Cyrus was afraid.

She closed her eye, and with a gasp, Cyrus' knees buckled under him.


When Cyrus woke up, he realized that he was resting in someone's lap, which was pretty nice. He also couldn't help but notice how cold said lap was- not freezing, certainly, but noticeably colder than the air around him. Logically, that meant the faint outline above him was…

"Crista?" Cyrus could see a benevolent smile above him.

"Why hello, Cyrus. I hope you're alright. You're not sick or anything?"

"Don't think so- it's just that the moment I looked into her eyes…"

Crista grinned. "You were lovestruck?"

"No- it was more like I was struck by a horrifying sense of my own smallness on the cosmic scale."

"Well, that's worrying. Still, the others weren't happy about your sudden, unplanned bout of unconsciousness… in fact, you should be able to hear it?"

Now that he wasn't just focusing on the girl above him, he could hear faint bickering and turned to see the other girls mouthing off to Luna, who stayed serene. Still, he couldn't bring himself to leave the lap of a pretty girl.

"How long was I out?"

"Not long at all- just a few minutes. Of course, I wasn't just going to leave you sitting on the ground."

"Thank you."

Crista gave him another smile. "It's a pleasure."


Eventually Cyrus realized that the remains of Luna's previous form were still sitting out there, great bones just resting on the ground. They were ruining an otherwise perfectly good clearing, so Cyrus had brought Francisca along to check it out, after getting an okay from Luna. (It was her body, even if she no longer had lived in it- it felt wrong to just mess with it without permission)

His first idea was just trying to lift the bones- he wasn't expecting much, so he wasn't disappointed when the bones barely budged, no matter how hard he pushed. They were heavy and incredibly dense, and in frustration, he kicked one of the ribs and regretted it immediately.

"Ow!" Cyrus hopped back, holding onto his one remaining natural leg. What the hell were those bones made of?

"Cyrus!"

"I'm fine, I'm fine…" Once the aching had gone away, Cyrus decided for an approach that would hopefully be a little less painful, and pulled out his pickaxe. Thankfully for his arms, the bone chipped away, even if it provided stiff resistance.

Cyrus huffed. "Okay- I'll break it into more manageable chunks, and you carry it away. Sound good?"


It turned out that the bones were actually made up of some super material that was incredibly useful- or so he was told by Meredith and Judith, who barely holding themselves back from going into fits over the stuff.

He got some cool armor and tools out of it though, so that was pretty great, even if the idea of wearing someone's bones like clothes grossed him out a little. (Wait, wasn't the beetle armor kind of like that, since beetles had exoskeletons? And the turtle's shell… actually, this was probably a bad train of thought to be indulging)

Still, in spite of horrifying revelations about his choice in clothing, the mood around town was still relatively jovial, and Cyrus was happily planning some large scale expansions to the village: he was thinking of something a little more… palatial?

So Cyrus spent his days working away to build things up instead of tearing them down, which was certainly nice. Sometimes, his productivity was limited when the girls came out to spend time with him- and of course, he couldn't bring himself to refuse when they asked to spend time with him.

Now that he and Bea were officially dating, she had gotten downright doting, making him boxed lunches which she insisted on bringing out to him- not that Cyrus felt like complaining too much. One day, she flew up to meet him on top of a great pillar that Cyrus was working on.

"Hmmph. Space is a little tight up here." Bea huffed.

Cyrus grinned. "Then just scoot in closer."

Bea rolled her eyes, but moved close as Cyrus swung an arm over her shoulder. "Now eat up." she ordered, pushing a surprisingly heavy box into his hands, and Cyrus happily dug in.

"Wow, this is the life- good weather, nice food, a lovely view…"

"I suppose the landscape is pretty nice from up here."

"Oh, I that wasn't what I meant- you're the lovely view."

Bea flushed a deep red, and Cyrus couldn't help but smile- how could he resist teasing if she kept blushing like this? "Oh my gosh, shut up." She gave him a playful shove.

"Careful, you might just knock me off." Cyrus chuckled.

"You have wings, honey."


Eventually, Cyrus caught on that the girls were planning something back in the village, and he was hesitantly excited- they had a good track record, after all. Well, Cyrus supposed that he didn't know a lot about some of their newer guests, but they weren't all that bad… probably.

Maia, the nymph girl, was rushing around like a madwoman, chattering with just about everyone- he even had a few conversations with the girl herself. "Soo, uhh… Maia, what are you up to?" He questioned.

"Just planning a little something- don't worry your pretty little head about it, Cyrus." she cooed. "Stay busy with your building- it looks good."

Cyrus flushed. "I'm glad you think so. So… you have a potential date for your mystery surprise?"

"Soon…" she winked before heading away.

Cyrus was left wondering what the girls could possibly be plotting as he kept on building, but was more than happy to just wait for an answer. He could afford to be a little more relaxed about everything- the great cosmic evil out there was defeated and (seemingly) living happily in his village.


He finally received an answer after a particularly long day of work, when he stumbled inside to see Maia waiting for him… while wearing a maid outfit? At least, that was what he thought it was, according to his rather spotty memories.

Still, he had to admit that Maia looked really, really good. Her long silver hair was in a braid, which hung most of the way down her back. In contrast, her skirt was rather short, pointlessly frilly, and complimented by an apron that looked a little too short to fulfill the actual function of an apron. Add to that tights and heels and a fairly low cut…

Cyrus hook his head as Maia smirked. "What do you think? Does it fit me… master?" She smiled, gave a spin, very purposefully showing off her outfit as Cyrus tried not to choke.

"You're… you look pretty good." Cyrus gulped. "And uh, do you really he have to do the master thing?"

"Of course I do~" She held up a hand to her cheek. "Now if you'll follow me…" she clamped onto his arm with surprising strength, and Cyrus couldn't really bring himself to resist. Unfortunately, he found his eyes wandering, considering the fact that he was being dragged behind Maia and her… significant swaying.


Cyrus had a suspicion about what might be coming up, but he really couldn't work up the courage to just straight up ask Maia. So they walked by in comfortable silence until they reached a door, which she opened to let Cyrus through, and…

The first thing Cyrus noticed, before the copious amounts of tights and low cut blouses, was Annelida- she was wearing a very similar outfit to Maia's, but he couldn't help but notice how it was modified to fit that long tail of hers. Even with her unconventional appearance and tail, the outfit was very flattering on her, not that Cyrus thought she looked bad without it.

Of course, Annelida noticed him staring, and gave a devious smile. "Do you need something, Master? A dinner? A bath? Or perhaps… me?"

Cyrus started sputtering, and he wasn't alone- Annelia was being unusually bold today, not that he was complaining. "I mean, I guess I am pretty hungry right now…"

Annelida leaned in towards him. "Hungry for what… master?"

"Food." Cyrus cleared his throat. "You really don't have to call me master, though."

"But isn't that the entire point of the fetish?" Visca asked quietly, while Lacrima flushed phenomenally red.

"It's not a fetish!"

"Yeah, you just made enough maid outfits for all of us? Because you thought it was fun?"

"Really, they're fun to make, surprisingly challenging in places-"

"Yeah, yeah." Visca snorted, before turning to Cyrus- a slime girl dressed as a maid was certainly something novel. She put her hands on her hips as she spoke to him. "Now, I'm not going to start calling you master or anything, but… do you want anything?"

"Isn't the pleasure of your company enough?"

She huffed, but Cyrus could see her blushing. "Well, that's not the point of the whole thing, now is it? We're supposed to like, dote on you and all that."

"Well I suppose it would be rather rude of me to refuse…"


Dramatis Personae:

Cyrus: the player character, harem protagonist

Cthylla: ex-Eye of Cthulhu, in relationship with Cyrus

Annelida: ex-Eater of Worlds, in relationship with Cyrus

Medulla: ex-Brain of Cthulhu, in relationship with Cyrus

Visca: still insists on being called King of the Slimes, in relationship with Cyrus

Bea: ex-Queen Bee, in relationship with Cyrus

Lacrima: ex-Skeletron, clothier replacement, in relationship with Cyrus

Andrea/Andi: ex-Wall of Flesh

Asta: ex-Spazmatism

Tina: ex-Retinazer

Francisca: ex-Skeleton Prime

Regina: ex-Queen Slime

Ditra- ex-Destroyer

Aria: ex-Plantera

Picea: ex-Everscream

Nicola: ex-Santa-NK1

Crista: ex-Ice Queen

Aqua: ex-Duke Fishron

Titania: ex-Empress

Terra: ex-Golem

Asteria: ex-Lunatic Cultist

Cera: ex-Mothon

Christina: ex-Flying Dutchman

Maia: the Nymph

Stella: ex-Pillars

Luna: ex-Moon Lord

Nissa: the Dryad

Veronica: the Zoologist

Meredith: the Mechanic

Abigail: the Nurse

Judith: the Steampunker

Roxanne: the Stylist


If we're talking in harem anime terms, this is our season finale and now we've only got the OVAs to go. This could technically be an end point for the story, but I think I'll drag it on a little longer- I want to top a hundred thousand words, if possible, before finishing up.

I suppose at this point I'll say that anyone can use this stupid, stupid idea if they want, especially for mods. I don't know enough about any of the major mods to try writing a fic about them.

Thank you all for coming on this journey with me. Your support means the world to me. I'm open to suggestions about what might be coming next- other than sweeping up the last few events or other misc. monster girls, there's not much left. Tell me if there are any other tropes you want to see hit or rehashed- I'm all open. We need something to do other than just letting the harem expand.

If y'all have any favorites, just tell me- I can try to like, prioritize them. If you couldn't tell, I'm highlighting Aria and Francisca right now.