Chapter 31—"All that Might Have Been"


Nottingham, Regina decided, was a grade A jerk.

Not that she was surprised. Robin had told her as much right in the beginning, but she still hadn't expected him to be quite so vile. Snow and Charming's army was growing every day, and by now they'd taken more than half the country. Yet Nottingham and his little band of 'law enforcement' still roved the countryside, supposedly on King George's behalf, pillaging villages and demanding taxes. Robin had led the Merry Men out to stop Nottingham, and Regina had tagged along, but she hadn't expected to encounter Nottingham after his band of supporters had fled.

She'd split up from Robin and the others, who had left to chase down a rumor about another band of outlaws terrorizing the countryside. Regina had places of her own to go—assuming she stuck to that decision—and she'd headed northwards after they'd defeated Nottingham. She'd assumed that he'd slink off into the sunset somewhere, having lost his followers and any ability to change the outcome of the war, but here Nottingham was, drinking in a bar.

That hadn't been much of a problem until he wandered over to sit across from her without so much as a greeting. "You've finally ditched the hooded outlaw." His words were a little slurred, but not as much as Regina expected. "You're alone."

Great, so he's a functional drunk. That makes everything so much better.

Regina snorted. "I'm alone because I'm a woman who doesn't need a man to tell me how to live my life, thank you very much."

"A real man could do a lot for you." Nottingham's leer made Regina laugh.

"Let me know when you meet one, will you?"

"So you agree that 'Robin Hood' isn't the man for you." He looked like he thought he'd won something. "I knew you were a smart woman."

"Too smart to touch you with someone else's ten foot pole." Regina rolled her eyes, and didn't bother to address the fact that Nottingham thought she had no interest in Robin. Her love life wasn't Nottingham's business, and she and Robin were just friends. Good friends.

That insult finally penetrated enough to make Nottingham scowl. "I can give you so much more than that outlaw."

"Seems to me that you're going to be an outlaw yourself, soon enough. Once Princess Snow and Prince Charming take this kingdom, people like you—people who abuse those who can't defend themselves—are going to be looking for a new place to live."

"I'm just enforcing the law, sweetheart. That's what sheriffs do."

"Raping girls and stealing family fortunes isn't part of your job." Regina stood, her appetite lost. "And I'm not your sweetheart."

"I didn't say you could leave." Nottingham's hand snaked out and grabbed her left wrist before Regina could walk away, jerking her to a stop. For a moment, all she could do was stare; for all the time she'd spent in the woods with outlaws, Regina had been born related to royalty, and she'd never had someone manhandle her.

But she also wasn't some wilting flower, so she reached out with her right hand and grabbed her mostly fill tankard of ale. She poured the tankard right over Nottingham's head, grinning as he howled in surprise. His shock let Regina jerk away, but she paused to look down at him contemptuously.

"You want a bit of advice, Nottingham? Never try to bully someone smarter than you."

"You—you—"

"And since that pretty much means everyone, you should give up on the idea entirely." Regina snot him her nastiest smile. "Find a new line of work. Something like shoveling pig shit would probably fit you just fine."

She walked out as Nottingham continued to stutter, and didn't look back. Men like him weren't worth her time.


Now that she knew the truth, what was she going to do? Fiona had answered her questions—as had Rumple, if Belle wanted to be honest with herself—and now the decision was in her hands. A hero, Belle thought, might walk away from someone willing to see such a curse happen. Wouldn't a hero dedicate themselves to stopping such a curse, no matter what their personal feelings? The answer to that would be a resounding yes in every book she'd ever read, but Belle had seen a lot more of the world than just her books, now. She knew enough now to know that dark wasn't always evil, and that goodness could be found even in the strangest of places.

Perhaps the truly heroic thing to do was to stay. To mitigate the worst of the curse—Belle had no illusions about finding some foolproof way to stop both Rumplestiltskin and Zelena—and to help where she could. Rumplestiltskin would temper things for her if he could, she knew…and he deserved to find his son. She knew how much he loved Baelfire, and Belle wanted to help them finally reunite. Was the curse a price worth paying for that? Belle wasn't sure. Fiona did say that if we get his curse broken, the Apprentice's magic might very well be able to take him to the Land Without Magic.

A hero in her books wouldn't look back, and would do everything possible to free Rumplestiltskin from the darkness and therefore save everyone. But Belle was no longer so naive as to think that was entirely the right answer. Yes, it was the good thing to do, but you couldn't force someone to be saved. Rumplestiltskin had to want it, too. Talking to him over the last month or so had finally told Belle why he felt that he needed power, and she suspected that some of that need came from the fact that he'd been born with magic that had been taken away. Magic was a part of him, and Belle couldn't force him to give that up.

Fiona hadn't told her how they could go about freeing him, anyway, so Belle figured that the point was moot. Maybe it wouldn't ever matter, but for now, she would stay. She loved him, despite the darkness, and Belle would help Rumplestiltskin however she could.

Now it was time to go find him and tell him that.


"I've noticed you've grown a bit impatient with your lot in life, mate." Killian found it interesting that Gaston no longer bristled every time he was called that; Gaston seemed to have accepted Killian as somewhat of a kindred spirit.

Saving the fact that I'm ten times smarter than he is and ready to use him, I suppose he can consider us that, he thought behind a friendly smile. Gaston wasn't the brightest, but Killian didn't mind. He was used to working with less intelligent men. Oftentimes that was ideal, anyway.

"Zelena broke all of her promises." Gaston's glare wasn't directed at him. "I was a fool to believe her."

"Aye, it goes that way with magic users. I've never met one that cares for us little folks."

Gaston heaved a sigh. "You can say that again."

"Our queen isn't even the worst of the lot, not by far." Killian didn't consider Zelena an outright terror, anyway, not after spending so long at Pan's mercy. "She's a useful enough ally, sometimes."

"I've yet to see that," Gaston snorted.

"Aye, well, it's all in the eyes of the beholder." Killian shrugged. "But she's not the point of our little tête-à-tête today. What I'd like to know is if you hunger for revenge against the demon who stole your fiancé."

"Of course I do. But if he doesn't bleed like anyone else, what use are any weapons I have?" Gaston's question was more astute than Killian expected, but at least he already had an answer on hand.

"Ah, that's where a little information comes in handy." He grinned. "There's a dagger. One that will let you control the Dark One—or even kill him."

Gaston perked up immediately. "Tell me more!"

"All we have to do is find the dagger, mate." Killian grinned. "And then we can do whatever we want."

"I can think of a few things." Gaston actually licked his lips, but Killian's grin didn't falter. He had no intention of telling Gaston what would happen if they killed the Dark One, or at least not yet. Gaston was a man who lived for hunting and hurting his prey, and Killian was just a wee bit delighted to work with him on this.

And when they got the dagger, well, there was no knowing what would happen. Killian wanted Rumplestiltskin dead, but the fact that killing him would turn Killian into the Dark One was a little off-putting, to say the least. For one, he didn't like what that curse would do to his complexion; he was quite happy with his pretty face as it was. The thought of having that much power at his fingertips was tempting, though. Killian supposed he'd navigate those rapids when the time came. For now, he needed at least one ally, though. And not one as likely to take the dagger for herself as Zelena, he thought, eyeing Gaston.

"I take it you're with me, then?"

"Oh, yes."


Ironically, it had been Rumplestiltskin who sent Tink back to Zelena's castle; Fiona had been too busy with Tiger Lily. Tink had a vague memory of learning about Tiger Lily in some lesson or another. She'd been held up as the example of a failed fairy godmother, of someone not to be like. But what little of the conversation between Fiona and Tiger Lily that Tink had heard left her wondering. It wouldn't be the first time that Blue had shaded some truths to make them more to her liking. Tink definitely was going to ask Fiona about it later, but for now, she did appreciate the importance of distracting Zelena.

Fortunately, she was able to stop by the outlaw/army camp on her way back to Zelena's castle and see how her friends were doing. Snow's army was proving surprisingly effective, but there was still a group terrorizing peasants and generally making things worse. But that's all right, she thought with a smile. I can kill two birds with one stone on that front! Her original idea of who to promote as Zelena's lover was about to pay some serious dividends. She could help her friends and Fiona at the same time—even if Rumplestiltskin, who had sent her off to distract Zelena, didn't know the roots of his mother's plan, either.

I like Belle a whole lot more than I like him, but that does mean I don't want to see an obnoxious, self-obsessed witch take her man, so here we go.

"You've been gone a long time." Zelena scowled at her.

Tink shrugged, meeting Zelena's eyes as boldly as she could. Zelena wouldn't respect or believe her if she flinched. "You seemed to be working on your own romance. I didn't want to get in the way."

"Well, you were wrong." Zelena sniffed, her chin jerking up. "I wasn't romancing anyone. That was all politics."

"I'm sorry to hear that." That was even the truth. Tink was sorry that Zelena hadn't fallen for Gaston, particularly after what she had learned about Belle's brutish ex-fiancé. They would have been a good match, and Gaston was even stupider than the man Tink had in mind.

Nottingham isn't stupid when he's sober, but he does have a hard time sticking to that. Tink had no high hopes on that front, but then again, that was why she was going to dangle him in front of Zelena in the first place.

"I suppose you're here to babble on about me having a soulmate again, aren't you?" Zelena sounded more tired than affronted, though, and that was a good thing.

"No, but I can help you if you want me to." Convincing Zelena hadn't done much good; Tink figured if she played it a little less eagerly, she might get further.

"I don't have time for romance right now. I'm working on something absolutely historical." But Zelena didn't look as certain as she was clearly trying to sound.

"That's up to you. But if you want someone to actually support you—someone you can actually depend on, maybe you do want to give finding your soulmate a chance." Tink glanced around pointedly. "I think it goes without saying that you can't exactly count on anyone else around here."

Zelena rolled her eyes. "You can say that again."

"So what do you have to lose, other than a little time?" Tink asked, giving Zelena an encouraging smile. When the other woman cringed slightly, she quickly added: "And it can wait. I'm sure your soulmate won't find someone else in the meantime, and even if he did, I'm sure you could win him over. After all, who would want some tavern maid when he could have a queen?"

"No one with half a brain, that's for sure." Zelena's smile seemed more genuine now, and Tink knew she'd won.

"Well, not all men use their brain all the time, if you know what I mean."

Zelena laughed at that, but the actual amusement on the Wicked Queen's face made Tink feel a little sorry for her. Zelena clearly didn't have any real friends. If she'd opened herself to caring for people, could she be different? Part of Tink wanted to track down some actual pixie dust instead of the fake version she'd cooked up with Fiona's help, but she wasn't sure they could risk that. First of all, Zelena might not have a soulmate…and secondly, it might be someone who was just as bad as she was. And competent. We don't want to give her a smart counterpart who will only make her more effective.

"No, they obviously aren't. But I guess we get what we get, don't we?" Zelena grinned back, and Tink's feeling of guilt deepened.

She had to stay the course. She had to.


"Rumple?"

Belle's voice made him jump; Rumplestiltskin had returned to spinning again, and he hadn't expected her to come down from her room any time soon. Or ever again, Zoso cackled, and Rumplestiltskin shook his head, trying to chase that annoying voice away.

He'd told Belle the truth. Part of him hated himself for doing that—sharing so much was stupid, particularly for a man (monster!) in his position—but a part of his heart knew that it had been the right thing to do. Belle loved him, against all odds, and she deserved the best man he could be. He'd always be the Dark One, and would probably never be able to love her as well as she deserved. Belle deserved a good man that he could never be, but he knew that he had to at least try to be worthy of her. Assuming she'll still have me. Laughter echoed in his mind, but Rumplestiltskin tried to ignore them, turning to face Belle.

"Belle?" His voice sounded a little like a yelp, no matter how hard he tried to keep it steady.

"We, um, need to talk."

"Yes." Swallowing, he jumped to his feet and tried to pretend his palms weren't sweating when he wiped them on his trousers. "I imagine we do."

"I don't like this curse. I don't like that you're willing to rip families apart to find your son, even though I do believe you when you tell me that you'll do your best to mitigate the worst of it." Belle stepped forward, boldly taking his hands. "But I love you. Even the darker parts of you. And I want to help you find your son, no matter what it takes."

"You…you what?" This wasn't what he'd expected to hear. No one except his mother had ever really wanted to help him find Baelfire. Zelena just wanted his power, not to help him, and Cora hadn't cared about anyone other than herself. But Belle…Belle wanted to help him find Bae?

She squeezed his hands. "I know how much you love him. And I love you. How can I not want to help you?"

"Oh, Belle." Rumplestiltskin didn't know what to say. Further words failed him.

"But I also want to stay to help you fight the darkness." Belle bit her lip, suddenly looking uncertain. "Can you do that? I know it's taken root in you, and I know it's hard."

"I…I think I can." Rumpelstiltskin swallowed hard. "For you, I think I can."

Belle's smile brightened the entire room. "I love you, Rumplestiltskin."

"And I love you." For the first time, Rumplestiltskin realized that the other Dark Ones were silent when Belle touched him. They hadn't said a word since she'd touched his hands, and this wasn't the first time, was it? But before he could begin to wonder what that meant, Belle leaned forward, her lips aiming for his.

Heart racing, Rumplestiltskin moved forwards to meet her, until his mother's voice rang out:

"Stop! Both of you, now. Do not kiss."


Riding a strangely guilty high, Tink headed out of Zelena's castle. Hook had leered at her a bit along the way, but since he was with Gaston—a vile example of a man if there ever was one—Tink didn't spend much time talking to him. Those two were planning something, but that really wasn't her concern. As long as it didn't hurt Belle, anyway. But she was pretty sure that even if Gaston tried to go after Belle again, Fiona and Rumplestiltskin could handle him well enough.

She didn't expect to almost run into Regina on the way in, not with half of Zelena's guards watching.

They both jumped, staring at one another, and Tink swallowed back the need to yelp in surprise. What was Regina doing here? She knew that Regina and Zelena were sisters, but she'd thought they were on terrible terms! Regina was Snow's best friend, deeply involved in the army that was fighting Zelena's ally King George, and yet she was here? Tink burned to know, but she knew she couldn't ask.

"Excuse me." Regina sounded much more collected than Tink felt. She even gave Tink the kind of respectful nod a noble gave to a stranger of questionable origins, which just made Tink blink harder.

"Of course. My fault. Sorry." She was babbling, and she needed to stop. Tink gulped back more words.

Another nod, and Regina was gone, leaving Tink to fly away, still reeling.


Rumplestiltskin whirled around, glaring at his mother. "Again? Mother, this is getting ridiculous!"

"At least she was obvious this time. For once, she actually said that she didn't want us to kiss." Belle looked almost as annoyed as he felt, but her anger at least told Rumplestiltskin that he wasn't crazy. Fiona had been keeping them from kissing. The last time he'd started to ask her about this, Fiona had managed to change the subject and distract him, but not this time. Oh, not this time. This time he'd have answers.

"That she did." Rumplestiltskin didn't let go of Belle's hands, but he did narrow his eyes at his mother, who looked rather more concerned than he expected.

"Yes, I have stopped you. Repeatedly." Fiona sighed. "And you have no idea how hard it has been."

"Mother!"

"Shout all you want later, but you must listen first." Unexpectedly, Fiona stepped forward to touch them both on the shoulders. "Rumplestiltskin, Belle, there is something I must show you before you proceed. Something that you must understand."

"This is beginning to sound ominous." Belle glanced worriedly at him, but Rumplestiltskin could only shrug. He had no idea where this was going.

"Do you know what this is?" Fiona stepped back slightly before summoning a bottle of shimmering purple liquid.

Rumplestiltskin saw red. "You nicked that out of my—"

"No, this is not the potion you made from that nauseatingly sweet prince and princess." His mother's smile was a strange mixture of sadness and pride. "This is yours. Both of yours."

"What?" Surprise forced the yelp out of him, but Rumplestiltskin was too gobsmacked to manage anything more. It was Belle who had the sense and composure to ask questions.

"That's a True Love potion, isn't it?" She blinked hard. "But that would mean that we—that Rumple and I"—she threw Rumplestiltskin a shocked look, her blue eyes wide—"are True Love?"

We can't be. This can't be.

Can it?

"You are." Fiona answered both Belle's spoken question and Rumplestiltskin's unspoken ones grimly. "I had a devil of a time making this bloody potion, and stopping you from kissing while I did so was even harder. But here you are. Proof."

She extended the vial to Rumplestiltskin, who released one of Belle's hands to take it almost automatically. He wanted to say that she was wrong. Wanted to deny that he—the Dark One, the longest lived of all Dark Ones!—could ever find True Love. That was the epitome of impossible. No one knew better than Rumplestiltskin that Dark Ones did not find normal love, let alone True Love. The nature of his curse prohibited such love. Did it not?

Yet the bottle in his hands was warm, comforting, and familiar. No amount of denial would change the fact that Rumplestiltskin knew this potion had been made from his love for Belle, and her love for her. It felt like her. Even as the darkness in him recoiled from the golden-purple liquid, his humanity was drawn to it, just as he'd always been drawn to Belle. Jaw dropping open, Rumplestiltskin stared at the bottle helplessly. This was True Love. They were True Love. The proof was in his hands.

"Is that…is that why you're stopping us from kissing?" Leave it to Belle to get straight to the heart of the matter. "I thought you wanted to free him!"

"What?" That took a moment to sink in, but when it did, Rumplestiltskin swiveled to face Belle's suddenly guilty expression and Fiona's worried one. "What—what are you two talking about?"

"True Love can break any curse." Fiona gestured meaningfully. "Even yours."

"And you want that?" Rumplestiltskin snapped. "You want me powerless? I need my power to find Baelfire!"

He couldn't believe that his mother wanted this. He knew that she regretted what he had become, knew that she wished he'd never become the Dark One, but this was further than he'd ever imagined she might go. Rumplestiltskin had thought Fiona loved him for who he was—and had Belle known about this plan?

He felt so cold.

"No, of course not." Fiona touched his shoulder again, but Rumplestiltskin yanked back, pulling his right hand free of Belle at the same time. "I would never want you powerless, my son. You are descended from a fairy, and I believe you'd be able to learn magic, particularly after being exposed to power for so long—"

"And you knew about this?" He wheeled on Belle, ignoring Fiona's words. Lies, Nimue whispered. We are the only power you'll ever have. They lie and they use you, see? "You were helping her!"

"No!" Belle looked hurt, but how could he care? "I love you. I've helped your mother study your curse because we both want to free you from that terrible darkness, but I want it to be your choice."

She lies. She wants to leave you a powerless cripple. The darkness swirled tighter and tighter around him, leaving Rumplestiltskin cold and increasingly empty. He needed his power. He was nothing without it. He'd go back to being a coward and a cripple, to having nothing. Back to being nothing. You knew you couldn't trust them. Not either of them. Your 'love' is playing the hero, and your mother wants to 'save' you so that she's the one with all the power. He wanted to cry.

"Rumple, please," Belle whispered, reaching for him again, but he staggered back a step, shaking his head wildly.

"No." He needed room to think, needed to think and not listen to the voices—

Kill her. Kill her and remove the threat. It sounded so logical. Love is nothing next to power. Where did love get you with Milah? With Cora? Nimue wasn't howling; she was speaking calmly and persuasively. They betrayed you. You thought Belle wouldn't, but look at her now. When he snuck a look at Belle, though, she looked hurt. Not triumphant. She looked worried for him, too. Could that all be an act?

Of course it can, Spinner. Zoso snorted in his mind. You've never been very observant. You thought Cora loved you, too, even though the signs were there for everyone else to see.

But Belle wasn't Cora.

Was she?

Desperate for something to focus on, Rumplestiltskin swung to face his mother. "You knew a kiss could take away my powers, so why not let it happen? Why stop us?"

Maybe his mother didn't truly want him powerless. Maybe this was all Belle's fault. At least then one of them loved him.

"Because if my calculations about your curse are correct, it will only work once." Fiona looked grimmer than he could ever remember seeing her. "If you force back the magic, if you cling to your curse, True Love will never be enough again. Not for you, and not for any other Dark One in the future. The curse will become immune."

"That sounds rather ideal." Rumplestiltskin hated the way his heart leapt, hated the way the others whispered approvingly.

"Not if you ever want to be free." Fiona stepped forward again, but was wise enough not to touch him. "My son, you were not meant to be like this. Belle has always been right about you—there is a good man struggling to be free of that wretched darkness, and you deserve better."

"Better?" Rumplestiltskin snorted bitterly. "Better as in being a coward and a cripple?" He jabbed a finger at his mother. "You've never been truly without power. When you needed it, you could just turn yourself back into a fairy and wish the human weaknesses away. It doesn't work that way for the rest of us!"

"No, it doesn't. But as I said—"

"No! This is you wanting to have the power so that you can 'protect' me like you failed to do when I was a babe, isn't it?" His words struck home; Fiona flinched, white faced and clearly hurt. "You want a do-over without the inconvenience of me having magic of my own! Perhaps that's why you stripped away my powers originally, hmm?"

"Of course it isn't." Fiona's words were a broken whisper, and part of him loved having hurt her so. This is what she gets for plotting to take my power away.

Nimue's satisfaction embraced him warmly. Make them both—

Belle stepped forward again, and this time she managed to touch his arm, cutting Nimue off mid-sentence. "Rumple, please, listen to us. We both love you. Neither of us wants to hurt you. We don't want to take your power away."

"I need it to find Bae." The only thing keeping him from panicking was how gentle Belle's voice was, and the warm vial of True Love still in his other hand. "I can't get to him without the power, Belle. I thought you would understand that!"

"And I do. I won't kiss you unless you want me to." Her free hand came up to touch his face, and Rumplestiltskin tried so hard not to melt into her touch. "But I do want you to think on this: which is more important to you, power or being a man your son can be proud of?"


A/N: Stay tuned for Chapter 32—"Tale as Old as Time", in which Regina goes to see Zelena, Tiger Lily and Bae come close to the truth, and Rumplestiltskin has a fateful realization and makes a choice that will change everything.