Chapter 35—"Human Again"
Fiona had tried to give her boy space in case he was mad at her; she'd orchestrated the entire True Love's kiss moment, after all, and she knew that she wouldn't have appreciated being manipulated like that in his shoes. Rumplestiltskin was a man who used pride to cover up what he perceived as weaknesses, and she knew him well enough that part of the reason why he'd liked being the Dark One was that because the mask of the monster shielded him from the world. She hated herself more than anything for making him need that cloak of darkness to feel safe, but that was not something she could change, now.
Now, she was the mother of a handsome man who favored neither her nor Malcolm heavily, and Fiona thought that quite marvelous. Rumplestiltskin was himself, now, and if that meant fewer high-pitched giggles and reduced his nasty streak, well, any mother would be grateful for that. He may not be the Savior, but now he has the chance to choose his path, she thought, watching Rumplestiltskin spin with a smile. I took away his fate, and Blue made sure that the only future he had was as a peasant boy with a father who hated him. Between us, we crippled him. But now, he has a genuine choice for the first time in his life.
"I can see you up there, Mother. There's no need to lurk in the shadows." He hadn't turned his head to call those words, and that made Fiona smile. His magic was starting to make sense, was it? That was excellent news.
"I wasn't lurking. I was maternally watching over you." But Fiona did descend the stairs into the great hall. What with the number of guests they had here these days, with Mulan in residence, Tink flitting in and out, and Tiger promising she'd visit again someday, Fiona felt this conversation was best not shouted from one floor to the other.
Rumplestiltskin stopped spinning to turn to her with a crooked smile. "And here I thought you had some evil plan in mind for me."
"Are you teasing me, my boy? Because I surely hope so. After the amount of work I put into trying to get you to move away from the darkness, the last thing I want is to nudge you back in that direction." Fiona shrugged. "If this family needs darkness, I'm sure I have plenty to go 'round."
"In time, I think we will not need that, at all." His voice was soft, but the words still stung, and Fiona drew back—only for Rumplestiltskin to rise, stumble forward, and grab her hand. He'd initiated contact like that so few times that it made Fiona's heart stop, and she stared at him with wide eyes.
"If you don't—If you don't…" Oh, goodness, now she was stuttering. How ignoble.
"I didn't say we wouldn't need you." Rumplestiltskin squeezed her hand. "Only that you need not embrace the darkness for our sakes. Who you are is who you are. No one here will ask you to change that."
"Not the way I changed you?" Fiona swallowed, feeling a little guilty for the first time.
His laugh was soft. "You didn't change me. You made me choose between love and something my son hated. Put like that, it was hardly a decision at all."
"You're not angry with me?" Fiona reached out to touch his cheek, and was so glad when her son did not pull away.
"No." He glanced down at his hands. "I miss it, sometimes. I miss the certainty of knowing who and what I was, who I would always be until someone finally put that dagger through my chest. I've never had courage without magic behind me. I was never anyone until I became the Dark One."
"And now the fact that you can be something more frightens you." By and large, Fiona was a stranger to fear; she just reached for what she wanted and fought until she got it. But she knew how to recognize it in others, and she could see the deep-seated anxieties her son had buried for years.
And why wouldn't he? He'd been abandoned by both of his parents, never knowing that at least one of them had wanted him more than anything. Two spinsters had taken him in and loved him, but they'd been outcasts in the town as well, which hadn't helped his prospects. He had finally married a merchant's third daughter, thinking himself deeply in love—only to find that she turned on him the moment he chose his child over his reputation. Fiona had rarely asked about Milah, other than to ascertain that the harpy was actually dead, but she could read behind the lines well enough. Rumplestiltskin had tried to be a good father to his boy while his wife hated and berated him, had tried to earn enough money to keep her happy despite crippling injuries and a reputation as the town coward. It was no wonder he had turned to power to fix that, particularly when a part of his soul was telling him that he was meant to have power.
The tragedy was that he'd found the wrong type of power, not that he'd embraced it.
"Is that why you're afraid to heal your leg?" Fiona asked gently when Rumplestiltskin didn't answer.
He nodded. "Part of me things I shouldn't, that it should be a reminder of my failures, of who I was when I was human."
"You are human, now, Rumple." She squeezed the hand that he still held. "A sorcerer, but human."
"And what does that mean? Do I live forever while Belle ages away?"
"Um." Fiona hadn't thought of that one, and she wanted to kick herself. Her boy was in love—True Love—and that meant he'd not want to watch Belle waste away and die of old age. Magic could prolong her life, and Fiona would kick the girl if she said no to that—but in the end, Rumplestiltskin had inherited Nimue's immortality. The kiss had only turned the darkness back to light and broken the binding to the dagger, which had in turn freed Nimue and all the others. A mere kiss, even one of True Love, could not change the power of magic drunk from the Grail. "That may…take some researching."
And she'd have to talk to that infuriating Apprentice again, wouldn't she? At least I didn't turn him into a ferret last time. That might mean we can chat. Maybe. Blue might have answers, too, but Fiona preferred the Apprentice, particularly since she'd finally have the moral high ground in this situation. Blue could take her wings off and jump off a cliff for all Fiona cared.
"Heal your leg in the meantime," she advised him. "I know you're in pain, and it's not adding clarity to your thinking. Heal the old breaks, and undo the years of damage walking on that ankle caused. Then start anew, being the man you want to be."
"Can that possibly be enough? I've done so much evil over the years. Turning to good now won't change that."
"No, but it's a start, isn't it?" Fiona leaned in to kiss him on the forehead. "A good start."
Rumplestiltskin's smile was still a little uneven, but she liked the light in his eyes. Her boy had always yearned to be good, even at his worst. Now he had the chance to do right, and Fiona did not doubt he would take it.
My little Savior.
It turned out that Bae didn't really like sneaking around behind Tiger Lily's back.
Oh, he'd known that already, or at least he'd known that he used to be honest. Neverland had turned him into a liar of the highest order, but the more Bae thought about reading Tiger Lily's private letter, the less he liked himself for having done so. Beans didn't seem to have a flicker of regret, but Bae imagined that it was hard to value someone's privacy when you were a seer. Seers saw all kinds of ultra-personal secrets, after all, so what did a letter matter when you could see that? But Bae wasn't a seer, and guilt was starting to gnaw at him.
So, he did the only thing he could think of doing. He asked.
"I saw your letter." The words blurted out before Bae could stop them; he'd wanted to be more subtle, but maybe that wasn't in his nature. "The one from the Black Fairy."
Tiger Lily froze, slowly turning to look at Bae with hard eyes. "Reading someone else's mail is extremely impolite. I thought better of you."
"I'm sorry." He'd meant to make light of it, but somehow the disappointed look on her face only made him feel worse. "I thought—I don't know what I thought." He barely managed to stop himself from saying something stupid, and Bae gulped. I might feel bad, but I can't let her know about me!
Or his father. He really didn't want to let her know about that.
"And now?" Tiger Lily was still frigid. "Now what do you think?"
"I don't know." At least he could be honest about that. "I mean, the letter is from the Black Fairy, and she's evil."
Tiger Lily snorted. "Not as much as she once was, I think."
"Everyone knows she is."
"And everyone is wrong." A wistful smile touched her face. "I helped her return to the Enchanted Forest so that she could say her son from an unspeakable darkness. And she did it."
"The…Black Fairy saved someone? And she had a son?" Bae thought the idea of the Black Fairy with a son was almost as ridiculous as the idea of Pan having a son.
"She did, and she does." Tiger Lily's smile grew. "I admit that I worried she couldn't do it when I went to see her. I was afraid she would cast the terrible curse Beans has foreseen, but I don't think she wants to. Not now."
"Um…okay." Bae didn't really know what to say to that, and he didn't like the burning feeling of envy boiling up in his heart. If the Black Fairy cared enough to save her son, why couldn't his father?
Because he doesn't know you're here, idiot, a truthful inner voice told him. Rumplestiltskin was alive, and Bae knew it, but he wasn't sure if he wanted his father to know about him. Maybe he thinks I'm dead. That thought left him feeling funny, particularly when he imagined how his father would have reacted to his death. He let me go. Bae was still angry about that, and probably always would be, but he didn't think that his papa would have ever wanted him dead. Even at his worst, even with the Dark One in control, some small part of his father had loved him.
Or maybe more than a small one. The Black Fairy had saved her son. Would the Dark One do the same? Bae didn't know…and he was no longer certain that he didn't want to find out.
Thankfully, Snow took the news of Zelena wanting peace a lot better than Tinker Bell had. It so happened that Regina had actually arrived right before the assault on King George's former capital, so that conversation had to wait a few days for the battles to die down. Now that the capital was in their hands, though—and the celebrations had died down!—Regina had finally managed to talk to Snow about her trip to see Zelena. She hadn't told her about handing her power over to her sister, at least not yet, but she had told Snow about Zelena's offer for peace.
Snow was definitely interested. "Do you think we can trust her?"
"Maybe." Regina took a deep breath. "She was…different when I talked to her. A little more honest. I don't think she was just trying to fool me, either. I think she's lonely."
"She did that to herself." Charming's growl was defensive on Snow's behalf, and Regina couldn't blame him. Zelena had targeted her, too, after all.
"True as that is, we can't pass up an opportunity for peace." Snow laid a hand on Charming's arm as she spoke, smiling gently. "For our people, if not for ourselves."
Charming scowled. "I'm not going to stand around while she tries to kill you again."
"Neither am I," Regina interjected before the pair could get all lovey-dovey again. They were cute, sure, but Snow and Charming's romance was really distracting, sometimes. "But I think Zelena means it, this time. And even if she doesn't, peace—no matter how short—gives us time to gather our strength after this war."
"That's a good point." Snow gave Charming a significant look, and he shrugged uneasily. "So, in that case—"
"I think it might be a little more complicated than that."
Regina spun as Tink's voice interrupted their conversation, unable to bite back a groan. "Really? Are you going to come call me a traitor, again?"
"What?" Snow sounded offended on Regina's behalf, and she supposed that was something.
"No, I'm not." Tink crossed her arms. "But I'm afraid that Zelena might have your heart, and that this might not be Regina we're talking to."
"Don't be ridiculous! Of course she doesn't have my heart!"
"You might not know." Snow had transitioned from offended to concerned in a hurry, and her eyes were fastened on Regina with pity that Regina could not and would not stomach. "Graham said that she can make people forget that she has their hearts, or make them deny it."
"I'm not forgetting anything. Or denying it!" Regina tried to bite back the shout, but couldn't help glaring at Tink again. "I have my heart, thank you."
Tink sighed. "There's only one way to be sure, and that's with magic."
"You can keep your wand to yourself, thank you very much." If Tink did a spell on her, she might realize what Regina had given up, and Regina wasn't sure she wanted that.
Unfortunately, that comment made Snow and Tink exchange a worried look, and now Charming was starting to look concerned, too. Regina wanted to scream.
"Regina, if Tink can be sure, why not let her check?" Snow's voice was gentle, but Regina still bristled.
"Are we going to check for everyone's heart, then? Or am I just a special case because I'm Zelena's sister?"
"You're the one who went to go see her," Tink snapped back. "And she can force you to act normally or to betray us! If you're so sure you have your heart, why are you so against the idea of proving it?"
Regina wasn't entirely sure why she was so irrational, but she definitely didn't feel like having someone pull her heart out. She knew quite enough about how that worked, and she wasn't about to let Tink stick her hand in her chest. The very idea made her skin crawl. Zelena did that kind of thing. What had gotten into Tink, anyway? Regina had been with Snow's rebellion since the beginning. Tink was a relative newcomer, for all the help she'd provided, and her sudden vitriol left Regina feeling very uneasy.
"Because you have no actual reason to believe Zelena has my heart," she shot back after a moment of examining her own feelings.
"And every reason to believe she doesn't." Robin's voice made her turn; he walked into the war council room, only stopping once he was next to Regina and could put a gentle hand on her elbow. His presence left her feeling warmer, and a little of her tension eked away.
Tink sighed dramatically. "Leaving aside the fact that she went to see Zelena for reasons she won't share."
"That's true. But it's also true that people without their hearts act differently—more reserved and less emotional." Robin shrugged slightly. "I've spent a lot of time talking with Graham about how it feels, and Regina is clearly feeling with her whole heart."
"I didn't realize you two knew each other so well." Tink's eyes were narrowed doubtfully, but Snow's smile was just growing.
"Oh, they certainly do." Snow beamed, and Regina felt her cheeks try to heat up.
She glared to cover that up. "Really? You're going to start teasing us now?"
"Only to say that it's about damned time." Charming gave them a cheeky smile before exchanging one of his damned loving looks with Snow, and Regina wanted to slap them both.
On second thought, however, maybe she didn't. Not with Robin standing next to her with that small smile on his face. They'd never said anything direct; she'd always been careful to respect the fact that he had a dead wife whom he'd loved dearly. Yet they'd become close friends, and something more had been hanging in the air between them for quite some time. Now, apparently that something was out in the open, and Regina didn't mind.
Particularly not when Robin kissed her after they left the council room.
"Rumple, I need your help with something."
He'd been at his work table when Belle walked into the tower where Rumplestiltskin kept most of his magical items, and from behind, she could almost fool herself into believing nothing had changed. However, the moment vanished as soon as Rumplestiltskin turned, his face splitting into a smile at the sight of her. His brown eyes—so gentle and so full of love—were nothing like the frighteningly reptilian eyes he'd once had. They were warm and welcoming, and Belle found herself fighting the urge to wrap her arms around him and kiss him soundly.
No. She was here to help Mulan. Then she could talk to Rumplestiltskin about the future, and perhaps snog him senseless.
"With what, sweetheart?" Rumplestiltskin rose, but it wasn't the hobbling step that he had borne for the past few days. Now he moved smoothly, like his old self.
"You fixed your leg!"
"I did." His smile was almost bashful. "It was easier than I expected, actually."
Belle bounced forward to take his hands, squeezing them joyfully. "I'm so glad. You look so much more relaxed, now, too. Is your magic working?"
"Mostly, I think. It can still surprise me from time to time"—his shrug was accompanied by a familiar twirl of his right hand—"but that's no surprise. I'm hardly used to working with light magic."
"You couldn't use it at all before?"
"Barely. My…uh, companions didn't like it, much, and I saw little reason to bother when there was always so much darkness at my fingertips."
"But now you're focusing on the light." Belle couldn't describe how good that made her feel. She had loved him even with the darkness, but it hadn't taken a magic user to see how the darkness ate at him and how unhappy he was. Now, watching Rumplestiltskin smile hesitantly, seeing how he liked this magic, warmed her very soul.
I saved him. I gave him this opportunity with a kiss! Belle knew that it hadn't all been her—Rumplestiltskin had finally wanted to be saved—but she had finally done the kind of heroic and selfless deed she'd dreamt of. Even if this was nothing like my dreams in the beginning, I did the right thing.
"I am. I think—I think this is what I was meant to be." He looked so adorably overwhelmed that Belle threw her arms around him.
"I'm proud of you, Rumple. And I know that Baelfire will be proud, too, once he sees what his father has become."
"Do you think so?" The pitiful hope in his eyes broke her heart.
"I do." Belle kissed him gently, just for a little encouragement. He was still so fragile, her Rumplestiltskin. She was beginning to realize that no amount of power would change that. Fiona hoped her son would become as brave and bold as a Savior of old, but Belle knew that was unlikely. Stripping away his fate as a babe had changed who he was, and although Rumplestiltskin could learn bravery, in his soul he would always be a gentle spinner whom had been hurt too many times.
"I don't—" She stopped him from saying I don't deserve you with a gentle finger to his lips.
"We've been through that, and I love you." She smiled as he kissed the finger against his lips, wondering how long it would be until she could get him to propose. Belle wanted more than just kissing, burned for his touch. Waiting while he sorted himself out was hard, but she was determined not to push until she was sure he was ready.
"You came for help for something," he said after a moment, and Belle could see that big brain working behind his eyes. "You know I'm happy to do anything you ask."
"Anything?" Belle laughed. "I thought you told me to be careful with such promises."
"Well, that's always wise." His voice dropped to a deep rumble as he spoke in her ear, making Belle shiver. "But I find there is little to be careful about with you."
She felt like her heart was going to burst, but she had to remember why she was there. With an effort, Belle stopped herself from kissing him again. "In that case, I'll take you up on that," she said as lightly as she could. "It's about Mulan. I think Zelena might have her heart."
"What?"
There was a hint of the old fury in his eyes, and Belle wondered briefly if she should have gone to Fiona. But the cat was out of the bag now, so she had no choice but to continue. "Tinker Bell came by, and we were talking about the possibility of Zelena having Regina's heart. I think Tink was too caught up in that to notice the pointed questions Mulan asked. She couldn't outright say anything, but she was hinting pretty hard."
"But you didn't ask her." Rumplestiltskin was focused now, his eyes as sharp as the razor edge of a knife. "Not directly?"
"No, I was afraid Zelena might notice."
"Clever girl." He smiled, nodding thoughtfully. "I can certainly determine if she has her heart or not; it's easy enough to check. But if we want Zelena to be caught off guard, we'll have to do so while Mulan is unconscious. A heart does no good to the holder if the host is asleep."
Belle mulled that one over for a moment. "You don't want Zelena knowing that you know?"
"Correct. Or that I'm no longer the Dark One. She'd try to take advantage of that." Rumplestiltskin's eyes focused on the far wall, narrowing. "Much good that would do her."
"Why don't you want the world to know you are free?" Belle could imagine how many people would be happy to know that the curse of the Dark One was forever banished from the world. It would be an occasion to celebrate, not mourn!
"It behooves us to maintain the status quo until we are prepared to see the world change." Rumplestiltskin held up a finger to stop her when Belle opened her mouth to object. "Change it will, sweetheart, and like it or not, we live in this world. We must be prepared for what will come. Until then, as far as anyone knows, I remain the Dark One."
"One look at you and they'll know, Rumple." Hearing him call her 'sweetheart' again left a warm glow around Belle, but she had to focus. She snorted wryly. "Or they won't recognize you at all."
"Ah, but you discount the power of illusion." Flinging a hand upwards, Rumplestiltskin stepped back to give her a courtly bow—and when he rose, he looked like his old self.
"You—you—you look like you did!" Bounding forward, Belle felt the curly hair and studied the old, familiar face. "Except your eyes. They're more human. Browner."
"I can probably fix—"
"No, don't. No one will notice, and I like them like this. I like knowing who you are beneath the mask." His answering smile made butterflies bounce in her stomach, and Belle cocked her head. "If I kiss you again, will this go away?"
"No. 'Tis merely an illusion, now." Rumplestiltskin touched her face gently. "You always saw the man behind it, anyway."
"Of course I did." Not right away, but Belle was glad that she had come to know Rumplestiltskin, not the Dark One, because Rumplestiltskin was still with her, while the darkness had been transformed. "But perhaps we should test the theory, just to be sure?"
"If my lady desires, I am always at your service." He gave her another bow, this one less low and courtly, although that might have been because Belle refused to release his hand. Rumplestiltskin straightened, smiling, and Belle leaned in to kiss him.
She would never get tired of doing that, she knew. Not when she could feel the warmth of his love and hear the soft way he sighed against her lips, as if he couldn't believe they were there, either. But they were together, and together, they could face anything.
"Slow down before you hurt yourself!" Bae had to hurry to catch up to his fellow apprentice; Beans was so happy to finally be out of the house—albeit on crutches—that he was rushing this way and that all over Port Mystic.
Most of the merchant traders had long since headed out of town since the fair had finished weeks earlier, but enough were around to excite Beans. Then again, I'd be excited, too, if Tiger Lily had kept me locked up as long as she has him. Sighing, Bae jogged to catch up with Beans. Fortunately, he'd stopped to look at a cart full of books, dolls, and games. The dolls were silly, but Bae really liked the look of some of those books, particularly the one titled Saviors: Their Victories and Their Deaths.
"Cool." He picked the book up, looking for a price before deciding to flip through it. Yeah, he could afford it, although it'd have to be the only thing he bought today. The book didn't have a lot of pictures, but it was full of tales of heroism and gore. There was one story about a man named Jason who had—
"Still looking for rumors about the Dark One, kid?" Flynnigan Rider leaned out of a nearby storefront, making Bae jump.
"Maybe." He tried to act disinterested, but he was curious. "Why?"
"Rumor says that he chased Queen Zelena away when she tried to have some oaf of a knight steal Avonlea by proxy. Thought that might catch your ear."
"Why would he do that? Everyone knows the Dark One only makes deals that profit him. Doesn't sound like he'd care about some little duchy."
"Seems big enough that you've heard of it."
"Eh." Bae shrugged. "Ran into a drunk soldier whining about some pretty lady he couldn't have." Bae wasn't about to mention that the pretty lady in question had apparently gone off with his father, maybe to marry him. Flynnigan didn't need to know that. Any of that.
"Oh? I do love a good story. Care to share?"
"Maybe later. I'm helping him." Bae jerked a thumb at Beans before reaching into his coin purse to pay for the book. His hand had barely come up with the money, however, when Beans grabbed his arm.
"Look!"
Coins bounced to the ground. "What'd you have to do that for?" Bae grumbled, starting to bend to pick them up. But Beans had an iron grip on his arm, and yanked, forcing Bae to look to the left. "What's got you so excited?"
"That's her." Beans' voice was a barely audible whisper, and his skin was stark white.
"Who?"
"Shh! She'll hear you." Beans looked more than a little terrified. "That's Madam Faustina."
"Who—oh! You mean the witch who cursed you?" Bae twisted around for a better look, expecting to see some gloriously ugly hag. Magic had made his father into a sparkly demon, and he'd heard that Queen Zelena was bright green. Maybe Faustina would be purple! That could be kind of cool to see. Scary, since evil witches really weren't Bae's cup of tea, but cool.
Unfortunately, Madam Faustina was blonde, petite, and young looking. She was even pretty, in an ethereal kind of way. She didn't look like she wanted to hurt anyone, either; she was talking to a matronly woman who seemed interested in selling her some chickens.
Bae twisted back to look at Beans. "Her? Really?"
"Yes, really." Beans glared. "She takes the youth off of people she kills."
"You might have mentioned that earlier." Bae shuddered. "Let's get out of here."
"You still have to pay for the book, laddie." The cart owner gave them a significant look before Beans could hobble more than a step away, and Bae shot his friend a nod.
"You go. Let me find the coins and I'll catch up."
"Okay." Beans still looked rattled, so Bae made sure he was headed in the right direction before bending to pick the scattered coins up off of the ground. He did have enough, and the book still looked interesting, so he paid for it and headed back to their house. Along the way, he glanced back at the storefront, only to notice that Flynnigan Rider was long gone.
Weird. Maybe he doesn't like creepy too-young witches, either.
A/N: Thank you very much for those who voted for this story in the TEAs! A Different Fate won the award for "Best Dark One". I apologize for the delay in updating…I really have no excuse, except for the fact that I was distracted by the novel I'm working on.
Stay tuned for Chapter 36—"Stay With Me", in which Fiona offers to do a good deed, Snow decides to invite someone interesting to her wedding, Bae and Beans tell Tiger Lily about Madam Faustina, Tink plays matchmaker, and Rumplestiltskin decides who he wants to be.
