Bella was waiting for Edward to pick her up for their date, but her stomach was in knots. She knew something had gone so wrong with her relationship with him ever since meeting Alice. Though if Bella had to be honest with herself, she always felt wrong being with Edward. His words about him drawing her to him truly made her question if her love for him was even real at all. Thankfully, Bella was smart about her date plans and they would be having dinner at Port Angeles at La Bella Italia. It was the same one Edward took them on their first date and she did this to soften up Edward. This was more than he deserved Bella thought but she had a plan if she truly couldn't get in a good mood.
As Bella waited for Edward to pick her up, she was texting Cynthia to make the arrangements. Alice had given her Cynthia's number and Bella was so thankful for this. The main reason she wanted Edward to take her to a restaurant in Port Angeles was so Cynthia would be able to come quickly for her.
I worry though Cynthia, what if he comes out and reads your mind? Actually, would he be able to read your mind from inside the restaurant. I really see this night going south and I don't want you to get hurt because of me.
Bella waited until she responded,
I won't be alone in the worst-case scenario if he does come out instantly. Trust me, our thoughts might not tip off you're with us. Julian and I have a bit of a safeguard.
Whoa what's the safeguard. Bella texted.
Let's just say Julian's right on one thing; in some ways he's always on my mind and I'm always on his. The thoughts vary of course but I know Julian's thoughts might give Edward another message on what he and I are doing.
Bella didn't want to press more on that since she could put two and two together. She nodded and texted,
I'm thankful he can't read my mind. I'm nervous Cyn and I really don't know why I agreed to this.
I know why, my sister.
Bella's cheeks turned slightly pink. She truly had a wonderful time with Alice at the lake. Bella's mind lingered on Alice's smiling face and warm demeanor for a cold-blooded vampire. Just thinking about Alice made Bella long for her; everything about Alice made Bella want to be with her. Bella had been fighting her thoughts and feelings about Alice, but they were becoming harder to deny. She had a feeling since sophomore year that she could have maybe been a lesbian, but her blossoming feelings for Alice all but confirmed that fact. This scared her since she didn't want to act on these feelings so Edward wouldn't hurt her. But Bella had to admit that there had to be more to what she and Alice was more than platonic.
Already straying before our date Bella? You're being very sinful. She heard Edward's voice in her mind.
She felt her heart getting tighter and gasped at the pain.
You don't know anything and stop invading my mind! Bella thought angrily.
I may not be able to read your mind, but I do know how to claim a heart. You hear me because deep down you want me, strong bond for my sister aside. You belong to me. He hissed in her mind coldly.
Her tightened even more and the pain sent shock waves in her body. This wasn't normal and texted Cynthia.
God what the hell did Edward do to me. I was just thinking about Alice and my heart just got tight. If Edward can't read my mind, how is he able to get in my head?
Get in your head meaning his voice rings in your head every time you go against him? Perhaps thinking about yourself in a way that doesn't fit with his vision of you? Maybe because he can't take your bond for Alice is stronger than his natural one on you?
All of Cynthia's deductions were spot on. She hated how weak, vulnerable, and almost defenseless she was with Edward. She did have some care for Edward because he was her first, but again was that care even real at all either. Bella felt trapped and knew either way, she couldn't back out of at least going to the restaurant.
The moment I ask you to get me, you and Julian will?
Yes, just follow the plan like we talked about. Be somewhat romantic since this will play to his ego. Get a main dish that has a lot of cheese and make sure you eat a good bunch. Best time to excuse yourself to the bathroom if he tries to get a bit naughtier than he usually is. Stay in there for a long while and give me the text you want to leave. I will send you a text when we get there. When you go, lie and say it was your dad. Try giving me a call but I will answer but hang up. You will excuse yourself to make the call outside because of poor service. Leave calmly and look for our truck parked out front. By the time Edward realizes you're long, we will be gone. If he calls you; make a lie about Charlie and also that whatever you order was really disagreeing with you. We will think of something if he insists on coming over but know I am staying the night with you.
Bella studied the plan and it seemed very calculated and thought out. It almost made Bella laugh since it seemed Cynthia had done something similar for another human in her life.
You've done something like this before?
No, lol. Just know a lot about human behaviors, their digestive systems, and how to play to emotional manipulative abusers. You will be fine Bella. See you later.
Bella sighed as she looked at her outfit. She settled on a navy blouse with white capri pants. Not the best date outfit, but it will do for someone who didn't want this date in the first place. She heard a honk at her house and checked outside her window to see Edward's Volvo. Bella took a deep breath as she got her purse and went downstairs to greet him. She gave him a soft peck on his lips just to appease him but Edward grinned and deepened it. He pulled away to look at her outfit and it made him curious. The blouse was long and she settled on capri pants rather than a skirt. He mentally sighed since he had ideas but Bella still looked beautiful.
"I'm very happy you wanted me to take you out for dinner; although these types of dates are a bit one sided." He joked.
Bella faked a laugh but she knew that at least dinner was more open than a dark movie theater. She didn't even want to know what Edward would try or force her to do in the dark.
"I know, but I just love what that restaurant means to us. It was our first date and that has to mean something right?"
Edward smiled but also hated that he had to take her out after she was nearly assaulted by a group of men. If anyone would touch Bella intimately, it would be him and him alone.
"It 'officially' started our forever together Bella and that means all the world to me." Edward softly told her. He kissed her cheek. She forced a smile but deep down she was really uncomfortable. Edward opened the passenger side door for Bella and she got in. He closed the door and got to the driver's side, speeding off to Port Angeles. They got to La Bella Italia very quickly and Bella breathed a sigh of relief. Edward looked to a raised eyebrow and questioned,
"You feeling okay Bella?"
Bella nodded and gently took his hand in hers. She needed to play a part, even though she really was starting to fall out of love with Edward. Her heart grew tighter and she tried so hard not to gasp at the pain. She kissed Edward's hand and he grinned softly.
"Yes…I'm just happy we get to be here."
"Yet it seemed like Friday you wanted nothing to do with me today. Did something happen yesterday at the lake to change your mind?" he hoped.
Yes, but it only confirmed that you're more of an asshole than I thought and how I hate myself when I am with you. Bella thought.
"Just saw things from a new perspective is all." Bella spoke.
Hopefully that you understand we're mates. She heard Edward murmur in her thoughts.
Edward smiled and stroked Bella's cheek, looking softly at her lips. His focus shifted to Bella's throat and sighed in delight. Bella's scent was his heroin; a fine wine that he hoped to indulge in someday treaties aside. However, he needed Bella weaker, submissive, and completely his.
"Good to hear Bella. Now you must be starving."
Bella did notice Edward's eyes weren't completely gold and that did scare her a bit. They weren't black like they usually were when he was hungry, but they were darker all the same. He got Bella out of his car and they walked into the restaurant. They grabbed a table in the middle of the restaurant and Edward gazed softly in Bella's eyes as she looked over at the menu.
"Not getting your usual mushroom ravioli Bella?" he playfully questioned.
Bella shook her head and noticed a very delicious looking three cheese fettuccine alfredo. Bingo Bella thought and closed the menu to sip on some water. Edward looked at Bella, and took her hand. He chuckled as he leaned over to kiss her lips. To 'please his ego' Bella kissed back with a little more passion; which deep down made her sick.
That's it Bella. Kiss me deeper. Edward thought as he kissed her and slowly slid his tongue in her mouth. When his tongue met hers, Bella pulled away. Edward saw Bella's red cheeks as adorable while Bella hated that he tried to French kiss her. When the waitress came back Edward attempted to order for her but Bella stopped him.
"Actually, I would love the three-cheese fettuccine alfredo and what would you recommend for a protein to go with it?" Bella asked.
Edward found that choice of a dinner odd. He knew Bella wasn't lactose intolerant but alfredo sauce was one of the few dishes that gave Bella some problems.
"Well, there's shrimp or chicken as modest options. If you're feeling extra savory, you can either top it off with bacon or pancetta or if you are feeling 'ballsy' you can get a small side of meatballs." the waitress stated.
"She will have grilled chicken." Edward expressed and Bella glared slightly.
"Actually, I would love the meatballs." Bella corrected.
Something was up Edward thought curiously. There was no way Bella was going to feel well after putting all those fatty foods in her stomach. The waitress returned with their sodas and left them alone. The staff at the restaurant knew the couple somewhat well and they knew Edward never ordered anything for himself. Bella got a roll from the bread basket and spread some butter on the roll.
"So… fettuccine alfredo and meatballs huh?" he asked.
Bella bit her lip.
"I'm starving, is that a problem Edward?" she replied innocently.
Edward scoffed playfully and replied,
"Not at all Bella, but this isn't your normal order and you try to go for healthy options usually."
"I have a craving for comforting pasta and some meatballs. I don't make them for myself so it's a nice change."
Edward just let the comment slide and he smiled softly. Bella was quiet and was really having trouble keeping up her loving façade.
"So…anyone having any interesting thoughts here?" Bella asked, trying to make some semblance of small talk.
Edward chuckled at Bella's interest in others and an interest in his mind reading. He glanced over at another couple and motioned Bella to look.
"The date isn't going well for them. The woman is annoyed that the guy lied about his job while the guy is a bit annoyed that she doesn't look like she does from her profile photo." Edward whispered.
"Well, a relationship should be built on love and trust; if you don't have both there's no point in going on."
The irony was lost on Edward as he kissed Bella's hand once more. He was moving his foot slightly across the table towards Bella and she pulled her feet closer to her chair. Edward looked a bit concerned and Bella asked,
"Edward, do you love me?"
Edward smirked and nodded.
"I love you so much Bella, why would you even question that?"
Bella dreaded to answer that but thankfully her food arrived and her stomach growled. Edward chuckled as he watched Bella eat her food. It was more than she normally ordered Edward had to admit, but he wasn't going to judge. Bella watches Edward watching her eat and feels judged. She was hungry but she also needed to be sure not to eat the whole plate for an escape. But she would just order dessert if it went down to needing more time.
"What are you thinking Edward?" Bella asked.
Edward sighed dreamily at her and stroked a small glob of cheese sauce from her cheek.
"I'm thinking…if I should not be holding back my emotions with you anymore."
Bella's eyes widened and her stomach sank.
You were holding back! Bella thought.
As if Edward could read her mind, he chuckled and nodded.
"It's just…I didn't want to stoop so low as to ogle or show public displays of affection in public. I thought I know what you like but…Alice's kisses tell me otherwise."
Bella felt herself getting angry but instead she stuffed more food in her mouth. Edward would raise an eyebrow and ask,
"Am I wrong?"
Yes
"No, you're not, but Alice is playful with her kisses and you shouldn't compare your kisses to hers."
It wouldn't even be a contest; I would always win. She heard Edward say in her mind.
Edward chuckled playfully and nodded in agreement, but Bella knew he was lying too.
"Fair enough and it's not like a woman can ever love you the way I can; no matter how much my sister loves you."
Bella was a bit stunned since he said it outright and didn't hear it in her head. Edward forced a slight grin and looked over Bella's body.
"Tell me…do you always wear bikinis since I didn't think that is what you liked."
Bella couldn't have been mad at Alice, she never could. It was Edward who was invading privacies, spying, stalking, and making things super annoying and awkward.
"Well…there's more than the shy new girl you still kind of see me as."
Edward chuckled and Bella thought she said something wrong.
"Is that so…then tell me, what are some things that you think make you, you Bella?"
Bella bit her lip. She didn't know whether to be honest or lie since either way, someone would be annoyed. Bella couldn't take it and sighed.
"Honestly…camping in the woods, repairing and riding a motorcycle, maybe fishing since my dad and I did it a lot when I visit and it's peaceful."
Edward at first chuckled since all those things didn't seem like Bella. She crossed her arms and glared at him and that really had Edward complexed. He raised an eyebrow and when she didn't relent, he sighed.
"Those…aren't really things you should do Bella. They will just make you…unrefined, not lady like…plus you are clumsy; extremely clumsy and all those things will lead to accidents."
"There are many kinds of women, Edward. A woman can be a bit outdoorsy and still like wearing dresses. Don't equate a hobby to a gender. Plus, everyone in your family is a hunter."
Edward scoffed at that statement.
"We have to hunt to survive Bella, that's not even a comparison." Edward whispered.
"Still despite all the women in your family being beautiful; they are still tough. Don't you want that for me someday?"
Edward forced a grin and moved his chair closer to Bella.
"As you grow older, you will need me to protect you."
Bastard Bella thought. The nerve of him and it pretty much confirmed her worst gut feelings about Edward's plans.
"So…you don't see a future with me as…one of you." Bella whispered.
Hell no, you're going to be my sweet Bella. My sweet, fragile, lady-like, human Bella. No one will turn you and you will live a long life with me as a human. She heard mentally tell her.
Edward looked at Bella's redness in her cheeks and mistook it for her blushing.
"You have a chance at a long, human life. I never got that chance but you will. I'm always going to love you as you are and who you're meant to be."
More like what you want me to be and I hate what you want me to be.
"And that is?" Bella asked somewhat playfully to keep up her façade.
Edward grinned as he placed a hand on Bella's thigh and carefully moved it upward.
"A loving soft girlfriend for now. Clumsy yes but endearing, a hopeless romantic and yet hopelessly in love with me. A lady who will always know that I have her best interests at heart. Eventually, you will be my wife who is devoted to me and will always be at my side. No conflicts, only love as I will protect you from everyone...at times even yourself" Edward purred.
Bella didn't like how Edward was caressing her thigh, even more so when he went higher.
Don't fight Bella.
I don't want this. Bella thought, trying to cast Edward out of her mind.
You will Bella, you'll always want me.
Edward slipped his fingers in between Bella's legs and near her sacred area, making Bella nervous. She needed to get out now as she felt a sickening feeling in her gut, rumbling even.
"Excuse me." Bella expressed as she got up and made her way to the bathroom.
Edward thank god didn't follow after her and she went into a stall to think. Bella felt sick, both emotionally and somewhat physically from the food. She wanted to leave and decided to text Cynthia. Bella had to fight tears since she really didn't know why Edward was behaving like this to her.
Please come get me. I'm really uncomfortable and I can't take this anymore.
No problem Bella. Wait in the bathroom for 15 minutes before going back to Edward. Then expect a text in a few minutes after that and you will do the rest Bella.
Bella smiled a bit since she had her way out; she just needed to act calm. She stayed in the bathroom for a couple of minutes before going back into the dining room with Edward. His eyes were soft but his smile was cold and his lips curved a bit.
"Probably should have listened to me about the meat Bella." he spoke in equal parts joking but scolding.
Bella rolled her eyes at him since he was being an asshole right now. She looked into Edward's eyes and she felt her heart sink even more. It was hard to believe that this was the same Edward who she had lovely chats with in the clearing and actually cared for her feelings. Now he was shifting into the cold one he never wanted to be and seemed to only cared about her basic being and blood.
"Yea maybe…but the food was still delicious."
Edward scoffed.
"It's not the best they have. You probably should have stuck with the ravioli Bella."
"Is this how it's going to be Edward?" Bella snapped.
Edward was taken aback by this and he growled slightly.
"Excuse me?" he politely asked.
Bella sighed.
"Me to blindly follow you, losing any sense of myself with you, and to just look past all the bad and creepy stuff you do because you say it's romantic? It makes me sad to think you might not want to love me for well…me."
Edward sighed as he kissed Bella's lips. Her scent was so alluring and he moaned as they kissed. Bella heard his moans and felt a chilly feeling down her spine. Edward was letting go she thought and he was going to be more passionate. For normal couples their man being more loving would be a blessing, but for Bella it was a curse. She was starting to not feel the same with him and yet she was bound to him with the chains in her heart.
She heard her phone go off and saw it was from Cynthia.
Call me, it's time.
Bella looked concerned as to pretend it was from her father Charlie. She dialed Cynthia's number to try and call her and she did exactly what she planned. She answered and hung up. Bella decided to do it one more time for good measure and Cynthia did the same. Edward looked at Bella with intrigue and concern and Bella sighed.
"I need to step out for a bit. Charlie's trying to reach me to have me call him but reception is just shit."
Edward hated that Bella cursed but he let it slide since her father seemed to be in some sort of trouble or needed her.
"I'll wait here. Maybe I will order you some dessert to lift your mood up." Edward purred softly.
Bella nodded and kissed his cheek before leaving the restaurant to 'make a call'. She noticed the truck parked up front and the passenger window rolled down to show Cynthia. Bella breathed a sigh of relief as she opened the backseat and slid into the car. Her attention went to the driver and she felt at ease since this had to be Cynthia's mate and her savior from James.
"Drive Jules. Don't know how much I can keep up the act of us having sex in my mind up before it gets distracting."
Bella's cheeks turned red at the comment and Julian smirked at Cyn.
"Distracting or pleasant Cyn?"
"Just drive." Cynthia told him.
Julian smiled as he started his truck. He made quick work of the car ride and got them to Bella's at half the normal speed. His driving speed had matched Edward's and Bella was just so glad to be home. Bella got out of the truck along with the two vampires. Julian looked over to Bella and smiled softly. He can see why his mate and Alice enjoyed Bella's company. He was also sad that Edward was taking Bella away from her true mate, which also angered him too.
"Finally, we get to meet Bella. I'm Julian, Cynthia's mate; glad I was able to get you away tonight and to stop James awhile back.
She had only met Julian, but she felt comfortable being around him. He was like a warm older brother and Bella liked that he cared for her and wanted her safe.
"Thank you both. I really felt sick being with him tonight. It was getting hard to pretend that I loved him like I did and I just don't like who I am becoming with him." Bella expressed.
Cynthia saw Bella's pain and her heart was on the verge of being completely warped. However, there was a bright light and fire in Bella's heart that got triggered tonight. She looked at Julian softly and he nodded.
"We can't leave you alone, Bells. Edward is going to be back to check up on you." Julian told her.
Bella knew this and had an idea; well, an idea and a desire.
"Actually um…Can you stay over Cynthia? I was hoping you would…. help me…please." Bella asked, almost begging for her.
Cynthia understood what Bella meant and gave her a soft nod. Alice and her were meant to be, but Bella needed to find herself and examine what Edward did to her. She has started to do so, but she needed someone as a guide.
"Good thing I packed my things. Are you sure you want to go down this path? It's not going to be easy and you're going to face parts of yourself you might not want to face. You need to confront yourself as much as Edward in our talks and you really need to embrace who you are no matter what that person might be. Do you think you are ready for my help and your liberations?"
Bella nodded. She hated being trapped, defenseless, and looked down by the person who was supposed to love her. She felt as if she was lured or coerced in the romance with Edward Cullen. Deep down she knew was running away from who she really was but no more. She wanted to be happy and her happiest was with Alice. The chains and hold Edward had on her she wanted to be freed from and knew this wasn't normal. She locked eyes to Cynthia's eyes confidently and nodded; feeling her first ounce of strength and self since being with Edward.
"Yes, I'm ready."
