It has been two months since Bella's birthday and Edward's tactics were getting worse. His manipulation, gaslighting, and trying to assert himself over her sparked many fights between them. Bella knew this was him trying to regain control over her and add more chains to her heart, but she was aware of his tactics and wasn't having his shit. Now Edward was 'punishing' Bella by not coming over as much and 'giving her space' to hopefully have her beg for his return. Instead, she used her freedom without him to spend with Angela, Jake, and most of all Alice. Jake was especially nice since Edward couldn't step foot onto La Push Beach, giving her space to think and hang out with Jake with no conflicts at all. It was awakening to Bella and she did not love Edward at all. She wanted to be free and done with him so she can have the life she wanted and regain her confidence she hadn't felt since she was 13.
Bella asked Cynthia to come over for another session. This was out of the blue since it was Friday, a day Bella usually didn't see her for therapy. Cynthia took this as a sign of a breakthrough in the making and had Julian take her to Bella's to resume hers and Bella's work. True to her sessions, Cynthia changed at Bella's house into a pair of glasses, pencil skirts, and a button-down shirt with a blazer. Her dad needed to work a bit late that night so they had time to discuss what was lingering in Bella's heart and about something she had been keeping from herself since puberty.
"Yesterday we spoke about your parents and your need to work on loving yourself, that's correct?" Cynthia said softly.
Bella nodded.
"You feel like there's a slight wall between them and you?"
"Somewhat, guess that will always be the case now that my life has vampires in it."
"Not that wall Bella. Yes you will always have to hide our existence with them. I'm talking about you mentioning that you felt you needed to put up a front since you worried what will occur if what you think about yourself is true." Cynthia expressed.
Bella had been thinking about herself more since her birthday with the Cullens and did feel there was a part of her that she wasn't embracing. Partly it was because of Edward but another was just self-preservation of not being accepted. At this point though, being under Edward's hold and being faced with being something she was not on a sadistic and manipulative level, she realized how she needed to embrace who she was. She almost lost her façade of a true self and independence; and Bella wanted to correct that mistake.
Cynthia took Bella's slight nod and contemplative nature as a sign to move on.
"Tell me how you feel about Edward and Alice, both are huge impact on your life" Cynthia said
"Honestly I feel like you know a lot already." Bella said in a somewhat defiant tone.
Cynthia can sense the hostility in Bella and pressed,
"What do I know a lot about?" she asked in a somewhat coy tone.
Bella groaned slightly since Cynthia was…well she needed to psychoanalyze her but this was old ground.
"That Edward preyed on me and that perhaps I only loved him because of his manipulation. Meanwhile Alice is someone dear to me and that when we're together…things just seem so…special."
"Special in a way that the closest of friends and kindred spirits are, or perhaps special in the way that of lovers?" Cynthia asked.
Bella closed her eyes and she felt her cheeks get slightly pink. Ever since needing to hide from James...she was just more drawn to Alice...even more so than she'd ever been to Edward. The energy between them was just so strong that when not thinking about her life, she was thinking about Alice. She subtly crossed her arms in such a way where she could carefully cup her breast. Alice came to mind as she did this and imagined being with Alice on an intimate level. Cynthia noticed the subtle motion and just jotted,
'Opening herself up, clearly feels or wants love from Alice'
"I just feel...safe, loved...accepted by her. Even when she wants me to be her 'doll' of sorts, she's just so...uplifting, full of life...something I want to be with her. A part of me…awakened when we met. Ideas I had in the past on what I wanted to do came back and the person I wanted to be I feel I can be once I get Edward out of my life. Alice never judges me and never wants me weak. I truly feel…stronger with her and the longing to see her was stronger than I even felt with Edward even with his mind games and emotional abuse."
Cynthia smiled softly as this was huge progress. Bella had been beating around the bush before when asked about perhaps being lovers. While she never uttered the word lovers or girlfriend, this has been the most direct she had been with this train of thought.
"What do you want yourself and Alice to do after graduation? You're a senior yes and so is Alice under her current cover in this life. You must be thinking of a future beyond high school right?" Cynthia asked
"Part of me kind of just wants to take her on a vacation before we decide what we want to do for school. Talks about a college in Alaska came up with Alice but she's willing to go to another cold or cloudy area to suit my needs. Naturally me being a vampire came up and I honestly want that and for her to turn me. I just want to be with her no matter where our paths take us since I don't want to be apart from her."
Cynthia smiled.
"What kind of vacation are we talking about?" she asked.
Bella smiled proudly.
"Maybe a cabin in a secluded location. One that will have a forest for Alice to hunt with ease, watering holes and lakes for me to fish, another lake to swim since we both enjoyed that, stargazing on the forest floor…Just us living out a dream vacation of mine."
"How did she react when you told her all this?" Cynthia asked
"Excited, proud maybe...loving...she's just so special." Cynthia made some notes and nodded.
"And Edward?"
"Edward wants me weak, defenseless, so he can always be there to save me and be my Romeo. I want to be the one to save myself and maybe at times protect Alice like when she protected me. He was a mistake because I was unsure of myself, now I know what I want and it doesn't include him."
Cynthia attempted to repress a snicker at that comment. Edward was an asshole for sure, but Cynthia had to remain professional.
"If Edward was not in the picture, how do you see yourself and Alice in the long term?" Cynthia asks
Bella shifted a bit on her bed and felt her body tingling. She felt a bit warm as her thoughts wandered and she playfully bit her lip. Her feelings for Alice were beyond just friends, but an unyielding desire…perhaps even love.
"I want to be there for her like she wants to be there for me. She's just so...perfect...unlike any woman I've ever met."
That caught Cynthia's ear since Bella specially mentioned woman. Person would have sufficed, but Bella mentioning woman specifically meant something. Word choices matter and woman was a strong one since it showed Bella was opening up more to herself.
"Any woman you met, not a person?" Cynthia asked.
Bella nodded and she realized what she said. It didn't bother her, but it felt freeing.
"Yea I mean…there's just something about women that are just…unparalleled. I'm not the most feminine girl but I know there's a charm in them that guys sometimes don't possess. Seeing guys like Mike and Edward kind of enforced that, more so since Edward's charms were laced in lies."
Cynthia jotted that down and smiled softly.
"Let's go back a bit to when you first entered high school and in Phoenix. What was the time with your peers like?"
Bella sighed.
"Things got weird around puberty. Lost a bit of confidence in myself when things my mother told me about boys and high school weren't matching up."
"Matching up?"
"Yes, like I would find my niche there and that I would be crushing hard on guys. I was still rather alone and while the guys were good looking and some even had strong muscles too…that wasn't what was catching my attention. I was a late bloomer but even when I did pay attention to guys…my eyes wandered to girls my age." Bella admitted.
"Why do you think that is?"
Bella got a bit pink but she needed to press forward.
"Well I was reading romantic classics before they were even assigned by schools. I enjoy romance but something was odd whenever I reread them. At first, I wanted to be Juliet and Elizabeth to find my own Romeo and Mr. Darcy. Slowly I kind of noticed instead of wanting to be the woman in stories…I wanted the woman in the stories. Guess soon it made me want to explore and check out girls to see if that translated the same way."
Interesting Cynthia thought.
"Did it? I mean how did you feel when you looked at women?" Cynthia asked
Bella turned red.
"Uh well I-I...kind of got embarrassed at first since...well I am a girl checking out girls. But…" Cynthia smiled softly.
"But you felt an attraction to them didn't you?" Cynthia asked
Bella nodded.
"Yeah, I did...everything about them seemed so much more inviting and pleasant...not just the bodies but like their softness, their faces, their shine in their eyes...Things I wanted to be but also want for myself. I almost wanted to take the chance back in Phoenix to see if maybe there was someone who felt the same."
Cynthia smiled softly but saw Bella's mood shift.
"I wasn't confident to be myself and admit those feelings. When Renee got remarried, I didn't want to worry her or let her not be with Phil, her new husband. I came to Forks to make her happy…but Edward swooped in and probably halted a lot of my process of accepting myself. But I had a comfort that maybe in time…when I glanced over at his table and saw Alice…things might get better for me. Thankfully the only good thing Edward did was introducing me to her."
Bella's voice was soft at that last bit and Cynthia offered Bella a comforting smile. She was close but she needed to address her feelings and fully commit to the path she was currently on.
"Do you feel attracted to Alice romantically?" Cynthia asked
Bella uncrossed her arms and had her hand touch her cheek where Alice often kissed her. She felt a slight pain in her heart but she knew that was Edward's manipulation. Bella was her happiest with Alice and she never wanted that to change.
"She makes me better...so much better. I love how I feel and am with her."
"That's good but that's not an exact answer either. Tell me how you feel for her." Cynthia gently pressed. She wanted Bella to admit to herself who she liked in order for the chains to break.
You belong to me Bella. She heard Edward growl.
I don't love you Edward. She thought back.
Bella thought back on every moment she had with Alice and smiled softly.
"I love her."
Cynthia smiled as this was huge improvement
"Do you love Alice as a friend or romantic partner?" Cynthia asked
Bella chuckled softly.
"As my everything...best friend, hopefully maybe...a girlfriend...maybe a partner for hopefully eternity...I have this...desire to be at her side despite what Edward is making me become for him. It makes sense why it hurts so much...I love her and I'm…" Cynthia was curious
"You're what Bella?" Cynthia asked. In past session they made great progress but this was huge breakthrough
"I'm a lesbian...and I'm in love with Alice."
"Who is your true mate, Bella?" Cynthia asked. Alice would probably be happy to hear this but this was not the time yet
"Alice Marie Brandon Cullen. I want to live proudly with her by my side. I want to be a vampire so we never have to be apart. Alice is the only woman for me and I'm proud to admit I love her. When I end it with Edward, I hope we can be girlfriends. I want her to be proud that she's the reason I want to accept myself as I am and I will fight to get Edward's hold on me." Bella softly says as she feels her heart race and flutter.
Cynthia removed her glasses since she was truly moved by tonight's session. She could hear the strength in Bella's heart and her chains were rattling. She's ready Cynthia thought, but she needed Bella's consent.
"I hear it in your heart Bella...so many chains want to be broken. Will you allow me to do so and do you want to be released?" Bella smiled and nodded
"Yes, I want them gone!" Bella said confidently
Cynthia smiled a bit as she approached Bella. She took her index and middle fingers to trail up Bella's arms and have the tips of the fingers meet at her chest. Then, she motioned them into a heart, removing her left hand. Bella's heart was racing but also rattling deep within her and a lot will be able to be done tonight.
"Are you ready?" Bela breathed and nodded
" Yes I ready" Bella said determination in her voice
Cynthia nodded as she pressed her fingers over Bella's heart with great force. She made x motions over Bella's heart and she could feel Bella' getting lighter. Bella's body convulsed a bit and felt her eyes rolling in the back of her head. There was some slight pain but that was only because Edward's chains on her were very tight. As Bella affirmed in her mind and heart what she wanted, the pain dulled and changed into warmth.
"Let me know when it gets too much or if your mood spikes Bella. I don't want to go too deep or break any chains that are valuable." Cynthia asked as continued her motions. Bella exhaled and she felt most of her weight lifted. It felt nice and Bella felt more at ease.
"I-I'm good Cynthia, keep going." Bella said softly
Cynthia smirked as she placed her palm on Bella to examine Bella's heart. There would be only minor chains remaining if she went forward. Those could only be undone when Bela renounces Edward and ends their relationship. There was hope Cyn thought as with these chains breaking, Bella would be a fighter, bolder, and more confident in her steps and thoughts. Cynthia made a fist on Bella's chest and gently eased more pressure on it. She shifted back into her finger motions until she could feel the several iron chains break off. Bella felt a warm sensation inside of her. It was so warm and pleasant, it made Bella's mind and head float. She felt pleasure, almost orgasmic pleasure at her chains being released. Bella knew in her heart of hearts what she wanted and none of her wants were Edward Cullen,
"Take a look in the mirror and tell me how you feel and what you see." Cynthia said as she removed her hand from Bella's chest.
Bella stood up and walked over to her full body mirror. Physically she looked the same, but Bella had this confidence she hadn't felt in a long while. Her eyes seemed brighter, she had more color to her cheeks despite her paleness, and she just loved the way she felt. Bella even placed a hand on her hip playfully and chuckled since she just felt so alive. Bella's reactions in themselves pleased Cynthia as Bella was a far cry from the shy girl in their encounter in the bowling alley.
"I feel amazing Cyn, confident and I'm not going to lie…I feel a bit sexier too. I can't wait to put this self out there." Bella commented with a slight grin.
Cynthia chuckled since she liked this Bella.
"Confidence can have that effect and you truly look amazing Bella. Do you feel like the woman you always wanted to be?"
"Almost…I just need Edward out of my life and I do feel something is still off." Bella expressed.
Cynthia nodded and addressed,
"The last chains that linger are small but still hold you back slightly. It falls on you to do the bulk of the work to remove them before I liberate you completely. You must break up with Edward to renounce his false bond and to declare your true mate to him. Given the fact he's been oddly absent as of late...he might be avoiding you on purpose. He can only avoid you for so long if he wants to ensnare you but you're stronger and mindful of his games."
Bella really didn't want to see him but she needed to in order to release the final chains. These chains were probably from ever caring for him and the bonds that connected them. Part of her did worry, since much to her chagrin he was still her boyfriend. That word alone made her want to gag since she now was confident, she loved women; more specifically Alice.
"A part of me almost wants him to pay for what he's done for me. He's made me so weak, unsure, and desperate for him…I never want to feel that way again. He pissed me off and sickened so much that I almost want to kill him."
Cynthia did have a concern that Edward would retaliate for Bella's awakening and breakthrough. She also worried that another human girl would be a victim if Bella did just become a vampire. Perhaps the ultimate revenge will be for Bella to have her vengeance when she's a newborn and stronger still. Edward has made her suffer a lot and they never want him to pull these stunts ever again.
"You'll have your chance when you're a newborn vampire if you want to go to that extreme. Until then, remember you're still human in a vampire subworld. Even renouncing him is going to be brave but also dangerous. We will need to carefully plan your steps in your complete awakening and liberation; perhaps even your revenge on Edward." Cynthia mentions.
Cynthia left to change out of her therapy clothes while Bella changed into pajamas; which consisted of a shirt and flannel pajama pants. Cynthia returned in a tank top and lounge pants which did make Bella smile slightly.
"Will you be sleeping over? "Bella asked
"Not just me." Cynthia mentioned with a slight smirk and chuckle.
"Charlie will be annoyed if a man he does know sleeps over" Bella said half joking with a chuckle.
Bella knew Julian was outside the house in case Edward came by. While she was thankful for him, there would be no explaining to Charlie to allow Cynthia's mate to sleep in the same room as her and Cyn.
"I'm not talking about Julian."
The bell rang and Cynthia smiled.
"Last chance if you want something a bit...sexier?" Cynthia chuckled softly. Bella's eyes widened but lit up and she blushed slightly.
"You didn't tell me Alice was coming over tonight!" Bella playfully exclaimed.
"If I did, we might have rushed and you wouldn't naturally come to your breakthrough. She was missing you and I figured you both needed each other and for us to have some girl time." Cynthia expressed softly.
Bella swapped her baggy t-shirt for the top that actually went to the pants. It was a black and red tank top that hugged her breasts. She looked at herself in the mirror and grinned softly as she went down to open the door for Alice.
"Hello Bella. Surprised?" Alice giggled as she wrapped her arms around Bella's neck. Bella didn't hesitate to reciprocate the hug; pressing her body closer. Bella's hands wandered a bit lower towards Alice's ass and cupped them slightly.
Alice was a bit stunned and pulled back a bit. Bella looked...confident...assured...and god she was wearing such a tight fitting pajama top that showed off her breasts. She knew Bella had an impromptu therapy session but Bella was just so…sexy and breathtaking.
"Bella, are you okay?"
Bella smiled and kissed Alice's cheek. Alice smiled as she played a bit with Bella's hair. They were getting closer and she couldn't wait until Bella broke up with Edward and they could finally be girlfriends and mates.
"The best I've ever been. Your sister is a miracle worker Alice and I know it's you I've always wanted, not Edward. I will be sure to make it clear to him that he's not welcomed in my life and heart…that honor will be yours." Bella said, taking Alices dainty hand in hers and running thumb over the back of it.
Alice was very happy deep down but she maintained her composure. She loved seeing Bella so full of life and that excited her.
"I'm glad. I try not to intrude on your visions too much unless I feel you're in danger. I want nothing but the best for you."
"I know you do Alice, you've been an amazing addition in my life, your sister too but mostly you." Bella said softly
Alice smiled and stroked Bella's cheek.
"Just a few loose chains right?" Alice whispered in Bella's ear.
"Most of the ones that needed to be gone are gone, but yes I need to take care of that. I want us to be together with nothing holding us back." Bella purred.
Alice was internally swooning over Bella's confidence as they both went upstairs. Alice changed into dark purple pajama shorts with a purple and black satin top. Cynthia looked at her sister's attire and chuckled.
"Want me to leave you two blossoming love birds alone?" she teased.
"No stay with us Cyn, have it be a proper girl time. Besides, it's too soon for us to 'explore' each other, right Bella?"
"Yes more so since Edward needs to fuck off out of my life so I can embrace who I am without him clawing back in somehow. I've seen how weak, defenseless, and vulnerable I was….I never want to feel that way with anyone ever again." Bella addressed.
"Speaking of that…best chance is for you to not be completely alone when you decide to break up with Edward. Julian and I will be around the place of your choosing so we can break you from Edward when things do go badly." Cynthia planned.
Bella nodded as she got under the covers, smiling softly as Alice joined her, cuddling close.
"He won't hurt her so long as I'm here. He can't plan anything without me seeing him. Plus Julian is perhaps one of the strongest vampires I met so things will work out for you Bella." Alice smiled.
Bella nodded and held on to her close.
"Might make it around the time we first met. Add a bit more salt in his wounds since he's hurt me so much in our relationship, one I probably didn't even want."
Just as Bella was about to drift off the sleep, there was a knock at the window.
"If that's Edward, I don't want to see him, he will just ruin my mood" Bella said
"How dare you mistake me for that dick? I'm hurt Bella, really."
Bella chuckled a bit as she saw Julian approach the window.
"Relax , I'm only teasing. Edward is an ass but also chicken, he won't go near you because you know you beat the shit out of him." Bella retorted
Julian waited for Cynthia to let him in for a short visit. He smiled as he looked at how close Alice and Bella were cuddled up together. He was happy that Bella was almost whole and that Cynthia was a key part in that. He felt like he was getting closer to Alice in her time with them, almost like he was her brother of sorts.
"Nicely done Cyn, you haven't lost your touch."
"Like I mentioned countless times, people need to want the changes before I do anything. I'm not one for using my gifts against their will. Bella is the marvel who wanted to find herself and her love for Alice, I am nothing but a tool to help her.
Bella smiled.
"Thanks guys, having you here means a lot to me" Bella said softly.
"Don't forget me Bella." Alice chimed happily.
Bella smiled and only embraced her tighter in her arms.
"All for Cynthia's sister and for love. Now I should maybe get my ass outside. One so your father doesn't think you're sneaking me in and that would be very bad. Also, if dickward does show his ass up here, I'll kick it until it breaks." Bella laughed and Cyn playfully rolled her eyes at him.
"Make sure you leave him beaten but alive in case Bella wants her revenge." Cyn expressed.
Alice seemed a bit stunned but also intrigued at that fact as she saw Bella slowly fall asleep. Julian left out the window and Cynthia looked at her sister and Bella together.
"Have you thought about it, a coven?" Cynthia asked.
"I've seen it, but it will be Bella's decision since she matters more to me than my own life."
Cynthia smiled as they spent their night with Bella, making small talk and enjoying the books in Bella's room. Alice saw vision of Cynthia and Julian and asked,
"You're close too…about accepting Julian?"
Cynthia nodded.
"I've been running and denying myself for too long. Once Bella's heart is free and you and her can have a strong mate bond…I will act on mine accordingly."
Alice hoped for her and Cynthia to be happy with their loved ones. Both sisters would soon have that and Alice was looking forward to that day to come.
