An: Remember the supposed weird behaviour that Alex was displaying that was quickly brushed under the carpet because of Hermione's ordeal, well its back. This time it's Joe who's super obsessed about it.

Chapter title reference: Mad World. Originally by Tears For Fears but I pictured the Gary Jules cover when writing this.

Ilena's POV

I could never be the heroine of any story, the universe made it that way. Because my friends are right about me, I'm a true Hufflepuff. Too much "of course I'll help you" over "is there anybody else who could help you, I'm busy". I'm never busy. Yes I might need to do homework, but I don't need to do it, because I'm not Hermione. I'm not Joe. It's not that important to me that I won't immediately stop working on an essay, and jumping into this new thing someone's brought to my attention.

Attention defined as consideration, not always genuine interest. It's not like I'm always swapping out chores for a slice of fun, I don't always like what I end up part of. I can disapprove, protest or proclaim my boredom, but I'm always there doing it.

I can have my own secrets, that only a couple are privy to. But I'm still a co-star in the main, a supporting role. My feelings for Hermione, is the side story to Joe and Hermione's romance. Even though I could never think of feeling envious of somebody's mental pain, factually I'm part of the sideline story here at Hogwarts. I'm not complaining, I do like to help because it's my way to constantly remind the people close to me, how much I appreciate they came to me for help.

I seriously contemplated saying no this time. Working with investigators that think they're entitled to information from a situation they are not involved in. People like Joe and Hermione.

What, you thought I was incapable of providing a negative trait of Hermione's, because I'm completely under her spell? I adore her just the same, doesn't mean she's completely perfect. And I was less than happy to be her sidekick detective in the Curious Case of Alexis Moon's Privacy.

I'm even less happy this time. Okay, so Alexis is way too cheerful these days, scarily so. So she is emitting two different fragrances, only one of them recognised as her usual kind of aerosol, and the other blatantly obviously perfume. So she's always writing letters and rushing them up to the owlery three times a day.

That last one is quite confusing actually...the general impression we've been getting is she's in a secret relationship, being carried out under our noses right here at Hogwarts. But the use of the owlery suggests she's sending letters elsewhere, and if not those owls are whisking letters up and down the stairs, rather than up and down the country. A total waste of owl energy, and a waste of time.

Unless that's a red herring Alex is intentionally planting, trying to confuse us. It's working, but does she really want it to work. When smart people feel baffled they instinctively think harder, try harder. Joe is only gonna try harder to get to the bottom of things, the more he's confused and suspicious. Alex knows that better than anyone, so was this a double bluff, a diversion. She's definitely playing the games that put her in Slytherin in the first place.

I suppose this time Alex knows that we're onto her, and doesn't mind the cat-and-mouse game, as long as she can guarantee herself as the winner. She's in control and constantly keeps herself many steps ahead. She's not trying to hide forever, but she is buying time. Not for herself, but for the other girl most likely.

And perhaps the secrecy isn't directed at us at all, in fact it's virtually impossible to have an open same-sex relationship at Hogwarts. If society wasn't a problem, Alex would only need to worry about a handful of her friends showing up and finding them together. But there are hundreds of students that can show up at any time, Hogwarts is big but feels mightily small when you have a secret to keep.

That is not why I'll probably never have a girlfriend at Hogwarts. But it's one of the reasons against me looking for one.

Anyway...Alex predictably isn't here currently, and so that means Joe's talking about where she might be, and with whom. He's soon to be interrupted...thank Odin...by this mornings post. I also see Harry's snowy owl drop an identical envelope in his lap at the Gryffindor table. Only two Hermione? I suppose she expects me and Joe to be together, and no doubt Ron and Harry. If anything it's a bigger blow for Joe, who doesn't get special private letters just because he's her boyfriend.

You know what...shut up me. You've lost the damn war, accept it. Because there's a legit peace treaty between you and Joe now, and you honour and appreciate those strong bonds that are reconnecting.

"What's happening Joe?" I was going for casual but it sounded to my ears more nonchalant. I absolutely do give a sh...give a lot of my heart for Hermione's situation, yet I'm meant to be getting on like Hermione told me to. She didn't tell me to act like I don't care though, so you'll have to make up for that poor start Ljomberg.

Joe doesn't read out anything, just registers it for himself before sharing with others. That always irks me but it's even worse now. I bang the table with my fork, and he seems to understand what that action symbolises because he starts to use his words. "She's just had her first session. Didn't go how she expected, in a good way. Was more nervous than any exam or test she's ever been in. Misses me, misses you. Loves Ireland. Can't wait to get better. Hugs and kisses."

Jesus. If I sounded nonchalant, then he sounded like the most uninterested newsreader in the world. Glad that he's not vying for a career in journalism. "You could try to sound happy about that?" Rosie supports my internal view.

"I am!" He snaps, then immediately concedes and apologetically supples "sorry, I truly am happy. Just in a rough mood."

"You're happy, but in a rough mood. You really are an Oxy-Moron" I tell him teasingly.

He rudely gestures in response to me, but I see the little smile betraying the good nature behind it. "Do you wanna read it for yourself? You know what I'm like, if you want details you'll sooner get blood from a stone."

I make grabby hands at him and he passes the letter across the table. He doesn't immediately go back to talking about Alex, which is a relief. I reckon he does feel a little happy about Hermione's letter, and a tad melancholy about not having his sweet girl about. He's just taking a few moments to recalibrate.

"Isn't it really unfair on Dominic? I mean he's been practically ditched this year" Reboot complete.

"He has not" Rose replies, finding the notion ridiculous. "You're not in Slytherin, not even we know the time those two have spent together within their own house. They don't hang around as much outside of the common room, but those two are lone wolves in Slytherin. They kinda have to be around each other, particularly in their house."

"I am right here guys" Dom speaks up beside me. I believe we all forgot he was there, guilty.

Rosie and Joe flush a tad in embarrassment. "Is that right? Are you still close to Alex behind closed Slytherin doors?" Lucy asks the guy in question.

Dom nods unenthusiastically, unless he was going for casual as well. Why can't any of us pull-off casual? "Yeah, sure we are. She's told me nothing mind, but for what it is worth I highly doubt whoever she is dating is a Slytherin."

Joe literally jots that down...on his hand. I should have never let him borrow one of my ballpoint pens. "Why wouldn't she tell you?"

"I haven't asked. I'm okay with letting her get on with things. We'll find out eventually when she wants us to" Dom answers.

"You hear that Detective?" I follow up. "Exactly what I've been saying, it's better for the revelation to come naturally. Barging in on her business could be disastrous for whoever is involved."

Joe sighs and patiently addresses all. "Guys, I know this doesn't seem like a big deal, or something we need to get involved with. I want Alex to be happy more than anyone. But are we forgetting something?"

"For heavens sake Joe" Rosie's frustration was building. "Alex is not going to be burning people alive just because she's courting them. She is obviously in control, and has obviously considered the risks. It's probably the real reason why this relationship is a guarded secret, to give her the freedom she needs, learn to trust herself to not hurt anyone."

Wow. I hadn't even considered that. I'm still getting used to Alex's condition, it's not something I see everyday, or that I fully understand. I do understand being gay and doing anything you can to both embrace it and hide it.

"It's not that I'm worried about. It's not the fire, it's whether this other girl knows. Has Alex spoken to her about it? Explained it properly? Not everybody is as understanding as us. If she leaves it too long the other girl might feel deceived. If this is a serious commitment things like that kinda need to be talked about promptly.

"Seriously Joe, that's normal" Lucy returns. "We've all got things about us we hold back when we first meet someone. We all have things that we fear could turn somebody off. That's the name of the game. You make you own success, and your own mistakes. As far as I see it, Alex is set up nicely for either outcome."

"We don't know that, we're assuming. Alex has always felt like she's in control, and then failure catches her by surprise" Joe argues.

"What is your intervention going to achieve, other than annoy the hell out of Alex and ruin things for her?" I question.

"Why is everybody ganging up on me?" Joe's elbows thud onto the table as he resorts to sulking. "I've protected her throughout her school years, I have learnt to know what to be cautious about."

Rosie pats his shoulder kindly. "You've done brilliantly Joe, nobody is saying your heart is in the wrong place. But maybe you've protected her for too long?"

"That's rubbish" he denies stubbornly.

"You just said you've learnt to be cautious, and given her state earlier in the term I understand why you've had to be. But now you can't help but feel cautious, even towards something that's good for her" This is why we love Lucy.

Joe shakes his head. "I'm not trying to separate them, or wrap her up in cotton wool. I just want her to tell me who it is, why does it have to be a secret to me? I'll leave it alone after that, it just bothers me that she can't. When she hides things it's usually because-"

"She's frightened of what you might think" Rosie intercepts, followed by me saying "what you might say" and Lucy topping it off with "and what you might do." Not gonna lie, that was the smoothest thing I've ever been a part off. Not saying much though is it.

Joe hushes up completely after this, though Rosie isn't quite done. "How is she meant to tell you things when you think of the worst all the time? It is I who caused her genuine pain. Is it any wonder she wants to take things slower this time? It's a miracle she can even open her heart up again so soon after what I did."

I hear the wobbly edge creeping into her voice, and before she tries to compose herself again, I place my hand over the back of hers. Don't need to say anything, because she knows what the message is.

Joe clearly has a lot to think about, maybe his eyes have been opened properly and his vision has improved. It is detrimental to Alex's independence and happiness to be so overbearing, and that's not the same as being the protective older brother. He has done it for too long, he's forgotten to let her breathe and be her own person.

I wish Hermione was here to see it, she'd be so proud.

Dom's POV

Fighting a shiver as you enter the Slytherin common room is something you have to get used to, especially in the colder months. You're slightly above, or slightly below, the water level of the Black Lake. That darn lake is cold in every season, but hypothermia is always a risk if you fall in around Christmas time, and don't immediately and sufficiently warm up afterwards. Those depths are our cold source. And like the bad seed we are to all the other houses, we're handicapped with a lack of permanent heating charms.

It's not like Gryffindor or Ravenclaw really need them. I'm sure it does get bitterly cold with that awful wind against the rafters, but it isn't always cold. And Hufflepuff is said to be the warmest house by far. Yet the coldest is worsened by neglect. But we don't whine...or at least I don't.

It's cold generally in the Green house, in both room temperature and atmosphere. Slytherins rarely allow their voices to carry, they tend to whisper in groups. And in your groups you find your place, and that's your place until you graduate, or somebody else's place is vacated for whatever reason. There's more than enough corners and cubbyholes and furniture. The pureblood, high society, wizarding mafia hog those sofas and chairs.

Me and Alex are the smallest group, who hang about in the hollow underside of the stairwell leading to the dorms. It's spider and bug infested. Bits of stone breaks off into dust and gets in your eyes every time jerks stampede down them. And you're almost constantly using a Lumos charm to see, even on the brightest and cloudless of days.

But it's perfect for two platonically speaking, we've never seen each other in the other light, but if we did it would be more perfect. Perfect for getting away from the assholes. Perfect at being unrecognised. Seriously even six years down the line some people in the years below, or above, are seeing us for the first time and think we're imposters who've snuck into Slytherin territory. It's ideal for us to do our own thing, and put little effort into playing the suck-up housemates.

What I said earlier was true, I still find Alex hanging out here studying or whatever, or she comes and joins me. Not as frequently, but she's dating someone from another house, it goes without saying that she won't be there as often. And initially when I don't see her under the stairs, I thought she was off being suave and charming again.

But then I heard her voice from an unfamiliar direction. Not just any direction, but the "elite seats" that the mafia reside. And the mafia are present.

Other than her, the six prime purebloods and now me, the common room was empty. This is bad. Instinctively I dive behind the nearest wall, making sure I'm hidden but can see enough of what's going on.

"We've tolerated your indifference towards us. We even turned a blind eye to befriending the Mudblood, and the other mudblood before her. You weren't tarnishing Slytherin's reputation, so we left you alone. But we can no longer turn away, not when you bring freakishness to our house"

It's worse than I thought. Don't tell me they've dug up her secret? This is the literal worst case scenario playing out right now. They're crowding her, Crabbe and Goyle manhandle her by the shoulders so that she can't stand up and leave. I think Parkinson has her wand, unless she's just discovered dual-wielding. She don't look intimidated but she's definitely heavily overpowered, heavily outnumbered and bound to lose if things go sour.

"You lecture me about freakishness, when you've got literal boy-orangutans holding me down" Alex defiantly mocks. "And you are the biggest freak of them all. Your hair is so deadly white, my deceased great grandmother wants to know your secret."

Behind their hands I can see Nott and Zabini hiding amused grins, Malfoy isn't looking their way but Parkinson was. Her glare immediately wipes their smirks away.

"She's getting lippy. Half an hour ago I would've complimented it, but now knowing that your so unnatural makes me sick. You represent Slytherin, and we can't have one person's unnatural condition cast a shadow as horrid as that over Slytherin. Blaise, go get the bucket."

Whatever the bucket was about I haven't got a clue, other than its not good. Meanwhile I'm standing here, in shock and I admit, a bit of fear. I can't just jump in and save her, six against two isn't much consolation... Oh come on, I'm not a brave person but Alex would go to war to protect me, she deserves the same.

"I already told you, I don't know what you're talking about. If you're going to accuse me of, as you put it "unnatural conditions", at least be specific" Alex retaliates. She's unsure as me about the nature of the bucket, but these Slytherins are known to deliver hard blows. In honour of pure high-class pomposity, they could ruin your life with ease. The bucket is no prank.

"Do not play dumb Moon" Nott takes over, I didn't know he even knew her name. "I saw you clear as day, conjuring fire out of nowhere."

"You saw me conjuring fire? Oh well, I guess that makes sense. I mean witches and wizards with magic, how freakish is that?" Alex scoffs in her defense. To be honest, this wasn't the secret I thought was being unravelled here. The sexuality secret would've ruined her school life... then again her fire secret could end it. She wouldn't be the first to be expelled for putting student life in danger.

"Don't get clever, you weren't holding your wand at the time, and you didn't use an incantation" Nott hotly replies.

"And that is a damning testimony, because we don't learn wandless magic at Hogwarts, let alone perfect it. And even if you're learning outside of schoolwork, you'd have to be Salazar's level of magic to combine both wandless and non-verbal magic" Who knew Parkinson had a brain on her.

"Then find a better witness, because I did have my wand on me, he just didn't see it" Alex responded. "It's his word against mine, I'm sure to your corrupt families that's equal to a death sentence, but you do anything to me and I'm sure the Hogwarts justice system will favour me greatly."

Draco scoffs this time. "And that's exactly what we're here for. We have a witness, and soon we'll have our evidence. If we're wrong, we're wrong, and all can be forgotten."

Blaise timed his reappearance well, bucket full up of what looks like normal water. Other than getting her wet, I don't see the threat it poses to Alex. But it must, because I can see Alex's eyes wide open. "Wait hold on."

Draco smirks. "Are you going to confess? Make it easy for yourself?"

"Fine, fine. Yes I can produce fire from my body. But I'm not an actual Elemental, you don't want to do this" Alex admits.

"We know what an Elemental is, and the fact you're fearful of this confirms it. But you're right, we don't want to do this. Admit who you are to the Headmaster and maybe, just maybe, he won't expell you. But we will request that you be kicked out of Slytherin altogether."

"I will ask him myself, I'll gladly leave" Alex spits back, he obviously thinks that Slytherin means as much to us as it did him. Whilst we like what the house officially stands for, cunning and ambition, we can't stand the true climate. Me and Alex, we never felt at home in Slytherin.

"No, I gathered your loyalty was weak, hardly a punishment to get away is it. I know, either you agree to a magical oath right now saying that you'll publically reveal your secret to the entire school, or we'll use our families influence to ensure you're expelled."

Alex crosses her arms protectively. "You know they both equate to the same result."

"Then just accept the result and try to maintain any dignity you have leftover afterwards" Draco chuckles at the end, sharing smug looks with his buddies. "Highly doubt there will be."

"You can't make me do anything" Alex shoots with little conviction.

"Can't we" Draco turns to Blaise who walks behind the sofa and stops directly behind Alex, and between Crabbe and Goyle. He lifts the bucket and rests it right by Alex's head. The water inside displaces dangerously close to spilling, but none of the liquid quite meets the rim. Alex suddenly looks petrified.

"Draco, I'm telling the truth, I'm not an Elemental. The fire magic is residual, meaning I can't control it. Nott saw me conjure flames, but he must've seen how worried I was. The magic is in my nervous system, not my magical core. If you do this, I don't know what will happen."

Both Nott and Parkinson seem worried, and its the latter who tries to reason with Draco. "She's admitted it, she'll most likely be expelled. We really do not know what will happen, we only know the theory. If she's right, we could be in immediate danger if you let this happen."

"It's not a guarantee she'll be expelled!" Draco snaps at her. "She hasn't hurt anybody as far as we know, so she'll probably get special treatment and molly-coddled by the old codger! I want her away from Slytherin, and away from Hogwarts!"

"Then I'll go!" Alex insisted. "Don't worry about what Dumbledore will do, I'll just leave! I'd rather not be here, then potentially be responsible for the death of six students!"

Draco frowns still but indeed he's mulling it over. "You will not make a magical oath, you'll make the Unbreakable Vow instead."

Even his buddies gasp in horror at this. "Are you insane? We will be expelled for that, and put in Azkaban to boo-" Pansy protested.

Before she finishes Draco cuts her off. "If nobody finds out, and she's leaving anyway, who is gonna know?"

Pansy isn't satisfied, but then Alex pipes up. "Let's do it. I agree to the Unbreakable Vow."

The room is silent again, most of us in shock including me. I should be doing something right now, but I can't move, I can't think. "Splendid" Draco's vocie finally cuts through. "Blaise lift the bucket."

He hesitantly does, directly above Alex's head. I just saw splashes drop onto her scalp, and I can't tell if the steam was from the temperature of the water scalding her, or the evaporation from contact with her body. No steam is coming from the bucket, so that must mean the latter is true.

"I must say, morning showers must be rough for you. Crabbe, Goyle, let her go. If she so much as flinches off that sofa, douse her." The goons remove their hands from Alex's person, and she straightens up but makes no upwards motion from her sitting position.

"Hey Drake, is this all really necessary? She's weird and I don't want to be around her either, but the Unbreakable Vow just seems excessive for no reason." Nott tells them his own reservations.

"None of you see the problem do you?! If she goes back on her word, Dumbledore will protect her and our families power will not be able to get us out of the hole we're left in! Just imagine your parents being informed you've been expelled, for something they might've approved of if we didn't cock it up! Losing her magic isn't enough insurance!"

"Why does my condition bother you? It's only magic, dangerous if I lose grip of my emotions, but you've seemed to take it so personally" Alex comments, she's as surprised as us all that Draco is reacting so strongly. Everybody knows he hates Mudbloods more than anything else, yet he's never done something so serious as this. He's intentionally putting another humans life on the line, just to get her out the school.

"Never you mind. Now extend your arm!" Draco orders.

Alex rolls her eyes and painfully slowly raises her arm towards him. So long in fact a now resigned Parkinson impatiently grabs for it and tugs it the rest of the way. She rolls the other girls sleeve back, and watches Draco do the same. "Join hands" Pansy sighs in an exasperated fashion.

Draco grips Alex's wrist, and Alex copies the motion. I have to stop this now. My best friend is about to make an irreversible decision about her life, and I'm hiding behind a wall just watching. It's pathetic, this should've been over the moment I stumbled upon them. Successful or not, I should have had her back. And now is my last chance, stun Draco and this whole thing crumbles. The others can only duel me, or leave. They probably won't because they are frightened as it is to be involved, only their fear of Malfoy is keeping them loyal.

I will myself but my body doesn't move. Have I unknowingly been hexed? Are there special wards up for preventing an interruption? I wouldn't put it past them, but it doesn't feel like there's a barrier or a force keeping me stationary. I'm just not moving, other than shaking in my skin.

I can't look away, that's why I don't miss anything. I can see everything so clearly...great entertainment apparently, watching your best friend throw her life down the toilet. It would've been cutting it close time wise, but I could've got backup down here. Joe would freaking kill Draco where he stood for this, if he could get away with it. But it's definitely too late for that. It's down to me and only me.

Meanwhile, Draco is getting frustrated with Pansy's obvious reluctance, and she stops faffing about when she sees the look he gives her. Pansy holds up her wand muttering what sounds like "I can't believe I'm doing this". This is it. I need to stop this now.

I am finally able to get my body moving, and I nearly missed the completely unexpected happening. I didn't expect any of this but this has to be the craziest thing yet. Instead of the words of the vow, Pansy Parkinson calls out "Petrificus Totalus!"

This impacts not on Draco, but Blaise, who's still holding the bucket over Alex. To my relief his grip on the bucket becomes as strong as cement, despite the near overflowing level the water hasn't even rippled. Then he starts falling backwards and the whole bucket drenches his face on the way down, his frozen body just takes it. Hard luck pal.

Draco is so shocked he can only stammer, and disengages his grip on Alex. "Wha-why did you-"

Big mistake. All of a sudden instead of Draco in her grip, Alex was gripping the handle of her own wand. Parkinson gave it back to her, probably when she moved Alex's sleeve up. Parkinson just saved Alex TWICE. Draco was dispatched with full force, his body flew so far it passes me by the wall.

I join the action myself the moment Nott draws his wand against the two girls. "Stupefy!" He crumples to the ground under my attack, gaining the attention of the girls and the brain-dead morons. "Dom, great bloody timing."

No, it really isn't Lex.

There's only Crabbe and Goyle left to deal with, and they gain a brain cell for once in their lives, busting their fat guts to get out. Alex puts them in ropes just before they hit the stairs. Just like that it's all over, crisis is averted. And not because I stopped it. The help I should've provided was supplied by the most unlikely of people.

Parkinson jumps into action again, shoving Alex. "What are you gawping for, go find Snape before he wakes up?"

Alex isn't as adamant on leaving just yet, eyebrows slanted in concern and sorrow. What she has to feel sorry for, I have no idea? "Pans?"

"Pans?!" I cried that out loud, I feel like the world has gone crazy. "Just what the hell is going on" I realise that's a good question to cover up the fact I've been here the whole time, and know everything that just happened. But I'm actually talking about her and "Pans".

Alex chuckles nervously, but Pansy really is in no mood for standing around talking. "Both of you just go, or do you want this lot to get away with it?"

Two seconds ago she was part of that lot. She's right though, our priorities should be considered first before explanations are in order. Alex can provide them on the way.

I start to go but Alex lingers just to wrap Parkinson in her arms warmly. The other girl is impatient but allows it. "We'll talk later, I promise. Now please go Alex."

This time Alex obeys, jogging to catch me up as we beeline out into the corridor. "Are you gonna-" I try to ask.

"No" Alex cuts in sharpy. That's that then.

An: Lighthearted and all smiles I said. It is, mostly, I just needed this one dark serious thing to kickstart something good.

The water is like a side effect of the Elemental magic, I thought it would be cool to add to the fact Alex has a condition with something other than release under foreign emotion.

Back to Hermione next chapter.