An: Happy 2022 guys.

Anonymous Hupplepuffer- I feel I unconsciously made this story about you. Hufflepuff, Swedish and friendly, just like Ilena. Would you consider yourself similar? Thanks for the feedback and the handy information I semi-cocked up. Ljomberg was chosen because of its rare usage, emulating the uncommon-if-not-made-up English names like Dumbledore, Snape and Malfoy.

Cliché warning for all in this chapter.

We'll be digging deep into Hermione's undiscovered past and subconscious. And Obelix discovers Hermione's true sexuality, though keeps that to herself. That would spoil the rest of the story wouldn't it?

Chapter title: Thank You For Being A Friend- Andrew Gold

Obelix's POV

The first full week has passed, and I have enough information about Hermione's life to write her biography. What an interesting book that would be, and heavy enough to substitute a four kilo dumbbell at the gym.

I've noticed that her anecdotes and life events are lacking emotional depth, like they were simply just things that happened. She didn't reference any particular life lessons she took away from them, hardly elaborated on her reactions to something. Like reading a diary that contains no variation of language except description. When she said she felt angry at something, that's all she said. 'This made me angry' before moving straight to the next point. I didn't commit her into expanding on them, the first week is not for discussing It's for listening.

Usually a guest likes to naturally natter away, even rant, but Hermione was just monotonous statement after statement. It's a new kind of challenge. I don't think it's the typical resistance that we get from some people who are deliberately difficult, kicking up fuss because they feel this is all beneath them.

She's aware of what she is doing, it is a conscious decision. There's not a lack of emotion in her stories because her emotions are gone, she's just avoiding any opportunity to inject or imply an emotion. Why she's doing this is hard to dissect. If the specific things that affected her greatly are the stories in which she put up this front, that would just be protectiveness. But from taking walks in the park when she was younger, to practicing magic with her friends at Hogwarts, it was all so emotionally bland. Almost uncaring.

These are things I simply acknowledged to myself, stored away to revisit on the second week. And this is that second week, and now Hermione will have little choice but to be more open, or this obstacle will work against her desire to leave. But the first job of the week was the word association test.

Oh yes, you know that one don't you? I would say I hate asking these questions but they work. I hate that people look down on it, as just a psychiatrist's nonsensical parlour game. Give us the respect we deserve I say.

"Have you taken a word association test before?" You may scoff but you should not be surprised of the things people will do to waste time.

"No, but I'm familiar with the concept" Hermione returns. She's wearing a very decent cardigan today, in a beautiful shade of pink. Got a bit distracted momentarily when I saw her step through the door. I will be asking her where she got it once our session time expires.

"I need to emphasise the importance, this isn't a joke nor is it productive if you treat it like one" I state firmly. "I cannot make you answer or take it seriously, but your recovery will depend on your cooperation."

Hermione nodded sincerely. "I'm definitely not the type of person to be disruptive or disrespectful."

"I gathered that, but I'm obliged to mention it anyway. Procedure" I flick open my A4 notebook and land on the page with a set list of words. "The words I'm about to call out are designed with both aspects of lifestyle in mind. You will hear normal everyday words from the Muggle world, mixed with common magical terms. You are within your rights to skip past if you can't associate a word with anything I call out, but any answer you give me will be taken into consideration. Do you wish to continue?"

"Yes" Hermione answered immediately.

"Great. Lets begin. Your first word is Name."

Hermione is slightly caught off-guard, her instincts to supply her name in response counter-acted by the clarification spoken immediately before. It is a psychological instinct to supply your name, your brain sees the word as an instruction. Mainly because it's the first element of a formal interaction or the first thing you'd write on a document. Nine out of ten guests would say their name as a response to that, especially because it's the first word on the list. They don't realise its part of the test until after they've responded.

It's not tricking people, it is simply to test observation and mental quickness. Hermione has proven she's observant, and her comprehension of information is strong and fast. The response instead of her name was "Identity."

I go straight to the next word. "Feeling." I saw Hermione deliberate, and so I quickly jump in. "No no, first thing that comes to mind, no options."

"Oh. Nerves."

"Water"

"Element"

"Charm"

"Incantation"

"Heart"

"Passion"

"Fire"

"Alex"

She immediately covers her mouth and flushes in mortification. "Oh no, what was I thinking? I shouldn't have said that."

I really beg to differ. "It's word association. There's no right or wrong."

"But that's another person's personal matters..." Hermione stared at me with a cross between rational thinking and panic "...you cannot disclose anything I say to anybody not involved right?"

"Confidentiality is promised. I need not to know about this Alex, nor why you associated them, particularly now that you've identified it as their personal business. All I'm concerned with is you, and only when we identify a link between your health and another person, will we talk about them" I assure her honestly. This isn't a police investigation or an interview for the Daily Prophet. Nothing is leaving this room, not from me.

Hermione is still irritated with herself but composes herself quickly. Seeing her drift back into her relaxed state, I ask "are you okay to continue?"

She nods.

"Monster"

"Inhuman"

"Dream"

"Ambition"

"Child"

"Generation"

"Wand"

"Control"

"Soul"

"Spirit"

"Anger"

"Heat"

"Society"

"Pressure"

Hmm, that was an interesting one. And that was one of her quickest responses. That could be the first topic that I can stamp on her bingo card. Society means a place for all, but to take that place you have to fit into that place. If you don't fit, you have to conform. If you can't conform, you must pretend. If you can't pretend, you cannot belong. And when you don't belong, it's you against the world, a lonely world.

For her to acknowledge the hard truth about our society, rather than generalise what a society is, really speaks volumes. It tells me she has experience with trying to fit into her place in society, when life has already given her a disadvantage, better known as her blood status. She wants even more to fit into place because of that disadvantage, perhaps it's not working. Or it's working too well and she's leaving her true self behind.

With more information I could delve deeper. But back to the word association.

"Patronus"

"Symbol"

"Friendship"

"Important" Again, not how it's defined, more what it actually means to her. These are exactly the things we experts focus on. When a word to associate becomes an answer, you can see the dots you'll later join up. It's just getting the order right and ranking their relevancy.

"Health"

"Condition"

"Truth"

"Secrets" You'll find that often the guest themselves will know that their responses are turning from controlled thought to instinctive. And as the snippets of truth come out, which they may have previously tried to hide, the compulsion to say more personal answers increases.

"Parents" These are not on the official list.

"Support"

"Hope"

"Fuel"

"Dark Arts"

"Defense" Well that's reassuring. That or Evil is every witches and wizards answer, who haven't taken a deeper interest. The first step is curiosity, and sometimes the Dark Arts are so compelling that you're changing with every new piece of information. The reason why I improvised that unlisted subject is because confusion and a numbing of emotion, can be a sign of dark magic corruption. Both of which are things Hermione displays.

So very good then that she responded with the norm on that one.

"Hunger"

"Desire"

"School"

"Knowledge"

"White"

"Teeth"

"Black"

"Sir-erm no. Fine. Started saying it, might as well finish. Sirius" Some more mortification there, but I think my reassurance from before saves us from another break.

I know who that is yes, and I'm surprised and cautious on the side of me that's not dominantly professional. Until it affects Hermione's situation I will ignore any name, no matter if I know them and/or if they're somebody you should speak about.

"Divination"

"Illogic"

"Britain"

"Land"

"Fantasy"

"Imagination"

"Time"

"Turner"

"Loneliness"

"Misery" She reduces the volume significantly on that answer, I only just caught it. I think I will end the test on that one. "The test is over."

Hermione sniffed "I was just beginning to enjoy myself." I didn't need to have a good grasp of sarcasm to know she wasn't serious about that, her body language spoke clearly enough.

Sometimes easing people in is the fairest method, talking can be frightening. To dive in and ask hard questions right off the starting blocks, that can come across as an attack. They will then block you out and their situation could be made worse.

But it really depends on the person. And Hermione is the person who wants answers quickly. She needs another human to find the gremlin in her circuit, tell her how to be rid of it. Even though it doesn't work like that, and we aren't here to tell people what is what, it makes no difference to her. She'd absolutely condone tackling the elephant in the room, no pussyfooting around. Sometimes it's sheer will and fire that conquers your issues in the end.

"I saw the answers you wrote down" Hermione tells me whilst I reorganise my desk space.

"Nah, just doodling" I joke right back.

"Everybody knows that everybody pressurises everybody else, that's how our world works. Friends are important, obviously. Those who tell truth must first have a secret. And it is miserable to be lonely, again obvious" Hermione explains her answers, like clarifying them as only associations will mean I will disregard them.

"You could have answered with Mumbo Jumbo. Trust me, I'm no closer to understanding you than I was yesterday" I reveal. "I've had more complicated people than you in that chair Hermione, people who WILL tell me nonsense and completely believe their answers. I get to the bottom of everyone eventually, whether they fight me or not, intentionally or not."

Hermione crosses her arms, she's irritated now. "Why would I fight? I've got to get better. I'm just telling you that the answers you wrote are nothing but just that, answers."

"They are mundane, yet you feel bothered by my writing them down?"

"Because you only wrote them down, the rest were just as mundane" Hermione argues.

"And there's the issue, you're worried about what I write down. You are as scared of the problem, as you are eager to go home" I have to make sure my tone isn't accusatory, or even impersonal. I can't speak like I'm prosecuting, or like I'm the court judge. I speak like her defense lawyer. After all, I'm on her side.

Hermione unlocks her arms, immediately turning annoyed into vulnerable. "Yeah I'm scared. Scared I'll never get better again."

No. She's scared of a lot more than that.

"I think it's time to move on. Let's get to the actual therapy shall we?" Goofy glasses go back on. I notice her elbow tucks in and then points for a brief moment before right back out again, the very word therapy immediately has her angsty.

"Last week I listened to your life story in your own words. I have a good sense of your character, your identity, the person you've come away from since your health declined. You've certainly been adventurous in your young life, so let's focus for a bit on these adventures with Harry and Ron."

Hermione brightens up when I mention this. Considering the dangers and somewhat near-death experiences contained within these adventures, joy would probably be a little bit down the list of my expectations. But I can see that the basis of the positivity isn't the dangerous side, it's pride in the achievements and the close bonds that were built between the three involved. "You take pride in all this?"

Hermione pulls a funny face. "Mostly pride in them, but a lot for myself as well. It wasn't ideal to have to nearly be killed in order to make a friend or two. And then to maintain the friendship you have to follow them into trouble and cover their behinds. But...I guess I needed it."

"What about them did you need, specifically?"

Hermione obviously finds it hard to put into words. "I hadn't made a friend before, didn't know how to be a friend. My friendship with those two would never have happened the conventional way. The first time I met them I was speaking highly of myself and disrespecting them, even though I was seeking friendship. Being a friend was so foreign to me."

"It wasn't friendship you were after, is that fair to say?"

Hermione nodded. "Yeah, I didn't need something that I failed to understand...I needed time to learn what a friend is. So what they gave me I'd say isn't friendship, it was a purpose."

That's really quite moving. The most important part of friendship is the sense of belonging, because you don't need similar interests or common traits to belong. This ties into what I touched on earlier, fitting into your place. And Hermione discovered that place, hence why she's built strong connections to those boys.

"So tell me more about why you three work so well, tell me the ins and outs of your interactions."

"It's an important combination. With one person less the dynamic fails, one person more leaves that person redundant. I'm primarily the brains but also the security net, the conscience and the counsel. Ron is the backbone, the morale booster, anchor and the spark. Harry is the driver, the mediator, the guts and the shield. He will just about put his life at risk for anybody he cares for."

"Now there's a team" I commend. "Have you yourself had to adapt in anyway, or are those traits you mentioned the natural Hermione, fit perfectly for the role you play?"

She doesn't take long to answer, and is more confident with the response than I've seen out of her in her entire week stay. "I changed massively, out of those traits only the conscience and intellect were originally set. And even then, they got me far less social success because of how I acted."

Indeed, a brain and a conscience without the instinct to sympathise or protect. "The girl who would report to authority powers the moment that trouble occurred, had to evolve to be the girl protecting and defending the troublemakers she herself trails. Is that accurate?"

Hermione looks affronted even whilst agreeing with the majority of what this therapist states. "I wasn't as much of a telltale as you describe it, neither should Harry and Ron be labelled as troublemakers. Troublefinders, with only motivations to expose bad things and help achieve good things."

"Excuse my negative terminology, I was merely trying to express the suggestion that discovering those two boys made you a more compassionate person" those terms were also only used to bait a more emotive response, and therefore provide more insight than a simple "Yes", or other notion of agreement. "Can you pinpoint a moment, or series of moments, where you realised you were changing?"

"Is that really important? My friendship with them is one hundred percent the most stable and positive fixture in my life. I highly doubt my problem lies there" Hermione dubiously asks, extremely defensive.

"You've answered your own question. We are here to discuss what makes you happy, not what gets you down. We are here to talk about where your strength is, not where your weaknesses are. Those negative things will come apparent to you only in relation to what isgoing right. So you and those boys, it is extremely important I have as much depth as possible."

This easily satisfies Hermione, with extra positivity on top. "One jumped on a back of an angered ten foot mountain troll, whilst the other performed the only first-year spell he knew to help take the hulking thing down. It was the most stupid thing I ever saw, that worked, and the most selfless act I've ever witnessed."

"That was the moment?" I try to clarify.

"They-okay, maybe only one of them-was the reason I was there. I had been my old clever, know-it-all self, and yet felt surprised that somebody acted negatively off the back of my condescension. I was crying because of his hurtful comments. And then the troll happens and I see the other side. They knew I didn't know a troll had broken into the school, and went to find me. They had no reason to think of me, I hadn't been nice in any capacity to them, they simply came because a girl in the school was unaware of a serious threat."

"The grass looks greener on their side doesn't it?" I reply encouragingly.

"Like I was looking at hell only to suddenly realise it was heaven. I saw bone-headed, boisterous, insensitive kids one minute. And then I see selfless, caring and indeed bone-headed boys the next. I admired them so much, and envied them. I needed to be more like that." Suddenly realising she said too much out of sentimentality, she immediately corrects "not the stupidness, I would never stoop to their level on that. Though if I could do my best to help them not be stupid, then the other changes were fine".

I don't know about you, but I envy all of them. I've got great friends, but these guys make normal friendship look weak. They're not stupid enough maybe, though I'd like to think one of my friends would jump on a troll without thinking twice. Some of them would do it for a laugh whilst drunk, so that means they would definitely do it if my life depended on it.

"Was it an easy change?"

"Yeah. So easy I didn't really realise I was changing. It was like my friendship chip kicked in and suddenly I could be a decent friend. My intelligence rubbed off on them in ways they love to hide, but their sense of freedom and appreciation rubbed off on me visibly. My parents were genuinely concerned on the platform the end of my first year, that Hogwarts had abducted me and sent a clone home. To be fair, magic was a thing now and they were nervous beyond belief to see me growing up without them."

"I hope they thanked those boys for the new daughter that came back" I'm only half-joking, any parent who saw such a positive transformation from a child of their own, should be immensely proud and thankful to those who made it so. She easily could've been led astray, bullied immensely or coexist in a castle with hundreds of strangers who would like to remain so.

Hermione smiles, though there's a wobble to those lips. And, yep, glistening eyes. Result.

Don't take that the wrong way, it's good because her emotion hole is filling up.

"They did thank them, eternally if I'm paraphrasing correctly. They were quick to thank them. I just realised though that I never did, not until I was saying goodbye on the way here. I didn't thank them for being my friends once in six years. They have, but I never did."

"You never realised because you didn't need to say, or it just didn't occur to you?"

Hermione doesn't actually answer the question. "That's so awful. I felt thankful, but I never expressed it. That's pathetic."

"A lot of people don't need to verbalise their appreciation, not when it's not needed. I'm positive they knew you did."

"No. They didn't. They were upset because they thought they did wrong, that they are responsible for this. They didn't know how much they meant to me, and I'm to blame for that."

I think you were right the first time, this wasn't much of a good thing. "You could thank them a thousand times without once using your voice. I know they know you are grateful for them, and they always did."

To only the ether, in hopes that the words would carry across the Irish Sea, she mutters "thank you boys. Thanks for putting up with me, for being friends with ME. Merlin knows, I must have been unbearable at times."

"Judging by what happened when you said goodbye, I think you weren't half as unbearable as you are appreciated by them. Lets move on from this, because this is a very encouraging sign, and I want to see more emotion from you."

Hermione nodded emphatically "we both want that."

"In the past year your life expanded to include a larger quantity of friends, though you mentioned that they're a group. A secret circle in fact. Outcasts coming together as you worded it. Why would you label each other like that, or yourself?"

Hermione retracts in her chair slightly. "It's not derogatory, it's just the facts. Ron and Harry were my only two friends for six years. And my reputation elsewhere was hugely less respectable than theirs. Everybody else still sees the unbearable eleven year old, they don't see the changed me. Some don't want to on a genetic basis alone."

"And these new friends?" I quizzed.

"Very similar. Nobody else cares, nor wants to. Blood status, sexual orientation, general nerdiness. A lot of things we can't really change, that nobody else will accept."

I nod understandingly, now I know precisely why "pressure" was her associated word for society. "So you don't think you've given up on society, or have you?"

"No but what other choice is there than to take a group of people, like myself, into my life. I haven't got a social bone in my body, only certain bones that are exclusive to the friends I've got."

"I wasn't criticising, I think it's marvellously decent of all of you. To come together, effectively silencing the pressures of society" that last part makes her sigh, and smile slightly. The wording didn't escape her attention. "Who needs to be complicit, when you're constantly in company of many who understand, and like you for who you are?"

She nodded. "Yeah, that's pretty much it"

"But Harry and Ron aren't in this group either?" I ask thoughtfully.

"No, socially they get on fine. They are the exceptions who also don't care much about a person's business, other than if they're a good person. I was afraid they'd resent me for looking elsewhere for friendship, or feel I was abandoning them. Sometimes I question that myself, but they themselves think nothing of the sort. At least, that's what they tell me."

"Probably because you are not doing anything of the kind. Looking for additional friends is what everybody does, and you quite literally can't abandon them because they mean too much. If their social life's are good for them, that means they have other peers other than yourself. Why should you feel guilty for finding your own?"

"I never thought of it like that" Hermione openly admits.

"They quite obviously don't have the obstacles you have, so I'm sure they truly find it fantastic that you don't need to change who you are? Loneliness is miserable right?"

Hermione snickers "can you stop using my words against me?"

"Certainly not."

One last check at my watch tells me we're nearly out of time, and she relaxes even more after watching me do this. "Yes, that's our time up, you get your respite. Same time tomorrow if that's fine with you, we'll continue where we left off. Then we'll get onto your lovelife."

I pretend to ignore Hermione's nervous twitch, she tries to hide it by turning around as she leaves her chair. "See you then."

"See you tomorrow Hermione" She can definitely hear the amusement in my voice.



AN: Again I'm no psychologist, therapist, counsellor or anything like that. If I had one on hand who can walk me through this, I'd be paying them money to do so. I'm not by the way. This is pretty much MY style of therapy, correct or incorrect.
Hope you enjoyed, if you weren't severely offended by my therapy that is... otherwise, very sorry.
Back to Hogwarts now...meet you there :)