Adda- That one very, very salty lady, I'm sorry, but if someone has taken the time out of their lives to uncurse you twice, I feel like they have the God-given right to tell you they don't want to have sex with you, because they are committed to Triss, except that one time that you cheated on her with that chick you gave flowers to because you were just being nice and then you fucked her, also that one time that you fucked three vampires because you sided with them and didn't have the choice, but other than those two times, I am a committed Witcher and I don't wanna fuck you, Adda, so why do you have to be a bitch and do something where you try to kill me and...side with Salamandra...I think that's what she did...also, fuck your husband, he's a dick and I murdered him, can we take a moment to talk about that actually, so, you spend the most part of the second game trying to prove that you didn't kill Foltest, only to actually help murder a king in the next game...great job Geralt
Botchling- That one thing I hate with the most fiery passion ever, let me explain a little, on the quest with him, I wanted to make him a Lubberkin, you know, since I'm not a terrible person, so, first time, things go pretty smoothly, slow though, ps, I hate fighting wraiths, they're really annoying, but when we get up to the house, it crashes, I launch it again, get back up to the house, and it crashes again, I launch it again, get back up to the house, but this time I'm fighting the botchling, I didn't think I did anything wrong, but I didn't remember doing this wrong last time, after a long and hard fight, I finally beat him and go to meet the Pellar and start doing this torch thingy, this is the point where I say to myself 'I know I haven't done this before, I'm doing something wrong', so I reload the save right before the part where you pick the botchling up, this is where I end up finding out what I did wrong, while the Baron is talking, I run forward, causing him the drop it and causing me to have to fight it, this is the point where I realize that I fucked up earlier and went too far ahead, and by that, I mean I barely left the area he was in, so, I start another one, go back up to the house, and it crashes again, so I verify the files, uninstall the one mod I had, as well as turn all the graphics down and window the game, finally fixing the crash, but not after an hour of shit I never want to have to do again, update, third time playing, no issues...fuck that one mod that was causing issues
Ciri- That one girl who I love more than anything in life, just kidding, that's probably not true, okay, maybe a little, but really, I think she's a great character, and I think they did a good job of making her like her character in the books, but older and more experienced and the fact that how you treat her, affects the ending, I like that, but then again, I like the whole game, so I might just a bit partial
Deathmarch- That one difficulty that is only remotely hard if you're fighting something ten levels above you…or you're playing the DLC's, for whatever reason they decided to bump up the difficulty for the DLC, which means Geralt getting his ass kicked by boars, mostly
Eternal Fire- That one kind of fire that spawns assholes, I'm sorry if you love the Order of the Flaming Rose, but I personally hate them, this is likely due to the fact that I played the first game and sided with the elves and the fact they hate non-humans, but they're pretentious assholes and Alvin...why did you have to do that to me, why did you say every time I said something that you'd take it to heart and then fucking do the exact opposite, you're a little shit, I want you to know that
Foltest- That one guy who I actually really kind liked in his small part in the second game and his role in the first game...until I read the books and found out about Adda...I changed my mind about him, he kinda deserved what he got...though I will say, back in the days of playing the first game, I have no idea what kind of lore it had, poor decision and if you haven't read the books, go read them now, they're great, thank you, random lady, at Gamestop for telling me to
Gwent- That one game that I didn't even have any idea how to play the first time I played the game, a total of 150ish hours, but this second time around, I finally learned...without the help of the tutorial because it didn't want to show up for whatever reason, and now it's one of my all-time favorite card games even if I'm still not the best at it and still get my ass kicked on the actual Gwent game, I even started my third playthrough because I missed Gwent so much
Hearts of Stone- That one DLC that showed other game companies how they should make a DLC, okay, this one is kind of a cheat because I used the b for botchling and I wanna talk about Blood and Wine, holy fuck, that DLC is the most amazing thing in life, I love everything about it, the fact that Regis is there, which is actually really cool for me because I had just finished Baptism of Fire right before it came out, not to mention how beautiful everything, how long it is, how amazing the story is, ugh, I love it so much and those people who said that it didn't deserve RPG of the year just because it was a DLC obviously didn't play it, it's longer than a lot of RPGs and better than most, if not all of them, if you haven't played it, please do, hell, I'll even buy it for you
Iorveth- That one elf that probably has more fangirls than Geralt, just saying, but also, what is with elves in these games, I spend so much time fighting for their cause, Yaevinn included, only to never even see them again, Roche visits me even though I didn't side with him, hell, Letho pops in, the least you could've done was sent me a letter, Iorveth, it hurts my feelings
Jaskier- That one guy whose name is definitely not cheating because now the Netflix series uses it, so ha, it's not like I waited five years just to use his name for J or anything, but like, if it worked out, it worked out, beside Dandelion is such a loveable character and if you don't like him, well…I don't like you, so…sucks to suck, I guess
Keria- That one beautiful lady who needs a new shirt, yes, I could tell you about how she's a great character and the fact that she and Lambert ride off into the sunset it both awesome and adorable, but instead I'm going to complain about the fact that she can't keep get damn nipples in her shirt, as a woman, as someone who doesn't like nipples at all, I don't like it, I also named my puppy after her, so I like her just a little bit ;)
Letho- That one bro who saved my gf, so like, thanks bro for being a bro and saving my sorcress girlfriend while I go hunt down another sorcress so that I can save a dragon from dying, also you buff bro, so buff
Milva- That one character who I really wish hadn't died, she is honestly one of my favorite characters from the series and I love her and I wish that she hadn't died and I think she's cool and I think I may be a fangirl...why can't she come back like Geralt or literally anyone else in the Witcher, little note, I have her as my Steam profile picture and have for years cause I love her that much
Nekkers- The creature that is the slime to other RPGs as it to Witcher 2, or the Drowners in Witcher 1, what I'm trying to say is that they were annoying and overused and I don't like fighting them in 3, also, terrible name, when I made my own fantasy bestiary I changed their name to Nekkras, cause I don't need to sound like I'm super racist when I complain about fighting creatures
Olgierd- That one sexy dude, I mean, a lot of Witcher characters are pretty damn hot, but like Olgierd and his scars and his curvy sword ;)
Potions- Those funny little things that are a huge help when you play the game the way it's meant to be played, like white gull, who knew that could fucking save you when you almost kill yourself on toxicity cause you have drunk five healing potions and three thunderbolts in the middle of a boss fight and don't want to die in that pitiful of a way
Quen- That one thing you really, really can't play Deathmarch without...I mean, you could, but why would you want to, in short, I love Quen more than probably anything, even my own mother…just don't tell her
Roach- The most amazing thing in the entire game, hands down, first of all, just having a horse in a Witcher game is a much-needed thing, especially with its size, but her...uniqueness is just...outstanding and I love it, I love how she gets stuck on the dumbest things, how she won't go into the water, but will sometimes just slide into it and then disappear completely like she became the water, or even how she will kick people in combat, sometimes even you
Shani- That one chick who I really, really didn't like in the first game, mostly cause she hated other women and we don't take that shit in this family, but liked in the books and then loved in Hearts of Stone, they nailed her character and I love her and I want to keep her around, she's just too cute
Toussaint- That one fairytale local with some pretty damn cute girls, I mean, we got Anna Henrietta being a boss ass bitch and then we got her cute goth sister who gets herself into trouble that I've got to fix, cause like who doesn't end up in vampire trouble, I wish I did, that's for sure
Uma- That one form that makes Avallac'h a helluva lot more bearable, just saying…
Vesmir- That old man who I love and will always miss, he was everything to me, a friend, an uncle, a grumpy old man, but we love him and we will never forget
Wraiths- Those things I already mentioned, but hate them so much I had to do it again, I mean...I fucking hate them, they are so annoying to fight, why can't they just stand there and die without teleporting, not to mention, they're always in a pack of twenty
Xenovox- That one thing that would probably cost you, in real game currency, less money to acquire than buying an iPhone, like I know this is about Witcher and all that, but can we all just talk about how expensive Apple products are, do they think I'm made of money, obviously, but I ain't, not even close, so like, can we not charge a hundred dollars for a goddamn pencil, no, no, well can't say I didn't try
Yennefer- That one sorceress that has my heart, at first I was a Triss fan through and through, but then I read the books and replayed Witcher 3 romancing Yen, and let me just tell you, if you're not romancing Yen, you're robbing Geralt of his true romance and that's just sad man
Zoltan- That one dwarf who, along with Dandelion, always had Geralt's back and man do I appreciate that, both as Geralt and as myself
Damn, I can't believe it's been four years since I last posted anything on FanFiction. Well, here's the start to my return, in the form of A-Z poems. I doubt I'll do anything other than the A-Z poems as I wanna focus my efforts on my actual stories (check out my Wattpad account JakMarandDax and give me a follow ;)). I decided to start with Witcher since I saw a HUGE boost in views, no doubt from the Netflix series, so hopefully, some of you folks see this new one and enjoy it. If you have any suggestions for what games you want to see an A-Z poem or which one I should work on next, please let me know!
Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it! If you have any comments, questions, concerns, suggestions, or ideas, feel free to comment or PM me, I love responding to anything. Once again, thank you, I really appreciate it, and have a wonderful day!
