Hello again my dudes! Happy New Year!!

It's been a while since I last updated, December was a difficult month to write because my social agenda was full for most of the month. But now we're back with another!!

So in this chapter there's a heated scene, so i'm labelling the story again as M rating just in case. I hope I did a good work on writing that bit of NSFW, it was kind of hard

Like always, enjoy the read!!


Chapter 5: The man named Alistair

The next morning, NERV Headquarters. Shinji's POV

"Try to concentrate Shinji, your scores are fluctuating a bit," came Misato's voice through the comm channel.

"It's probably his new girlfriend's fault," voiced Toji with a chuckle from his evangelion.

"Pilot Suzuhara, be quiet" stated the Commander, making it clear this is not a time to be joking.

"I'm sorry Misato, I'll try harder" I answered, giving a long exhale and trying my best to clear my mind of any thoughts regarding yesterday. After a while of calming my breathing pattern and closing my eyes, I found myself in the same blank room from the last sync test I participated in. Assaulted by the same feeling of emptiness as back then, but now understanding the reason behind this, a lot of questions started forming in my mind.

"This is the room of your soul" came a voice, identical to mine.

"Who's there?!" I exclaimed, startled by the sudden intrusion to my loneliness. Answering my question, a young man appeared in front of me, and if my eyesight wasn't failing me, this young man turned out to be a clone of myself. However, upon closer inspection this "clone" had red eyes, just like Rei and Kaworu.

"Kaworu, if this is a joke I'm not laughing right now"

"I am not Kaworu, he can't come into this place. I am you, or the part of you that you refuse to accept." Said the clone

"I don't understand"

"You're no longer Lilin anymore, you're something more, yet you still cling to your humanity despite all. Because of this, you have unconsciously denied an essential part of you and bounded it to confinement in the deepest spaces of your soul" I explained myself? This is too weird.

"So this empty space is supposed to be my soul? A limitless blank space where only I exist?" I asked.

"Yes and no. In here lies everything about you, even the things you don't know about yourself. However, until you accept yourself, you won't be able to see anything, much less understand what it means to be You" my clone answered.

"And how do I do that exactly?"

"Simple, we just have to fuse together once again. Take my hand and we can get started." Seems simple enough, I guess I need to do this to discover the secret of my Eva. I walked forward and stood in front of myself, looking down at my extended arm signaling myself to grab it. Hesitantly, I reached forward and grasped my clone's hand, but as soon as I came in contact with him I felt like someone was pushing a huge drill on my skull.

I screamed and tried to break free from the tight hold my other self had in my hand, to no avail. Suddenly my surroundings started to change, quickly forming sceneries and dismantling soon after. It took a moment but I soon realized I was making myself live through all my life again, reliving the emotions I felt in those moments, but this time I felt things a thousand times more than I can ever hope to recall. Watching my mother die in front of me fusing with Unit-01, the pain of loss I didn't understand that day was now filling me to an unspeakable level. Then watching my father walking away from me while I cried in the train station, the despair was making me fall down to my knees and plead to myself to stop.

"Please stop this! I can't do this!" I screamed in pain. Now reliving the first time my teacher got angry at me and punished me. Hitting me with his belt and saying hurtful things towards me. 'Maybe that's why your father doesn't want you boy'

"You have to" came my clone's voice

"NO!" I screamed louder, using all of my strength to break free from the hold. This resulted in me dismembering my clone's arm and falling backward, successfully breaking free of the terrible reminiscing of my past. I was breathing in short intervals, while the other me was looking down with contempt in his face.

"You can't run away from yourself forever. You know it, you can feel it drawing closer every day, the day of reckoning" he said while vanishing to nothingness. Soon after everything went dark, and I wasn't in that damned room anymore.


Meanwhile inside the testing room Misato's POV

"Considering what happened yesterday, I don't think he'll pull better scores than these today Commander," said Ritsuko regarding Shinji's performance today.

"Let's give him a chance, look he's already improving." I said, gesturing to the monitor of Maya Ibuki. His scores ramped up to a solid 82 percent, a new personal record.

After a couple of seconds of monitoring his scores, an alarm blared to life and the terminal's screen started reading "PATTERN BLUE" and then "PATTERN ORANGE" multiple times. What was going on?

"What's happening? Is it an Angel attack?!" I spoke loudly, however before someone could answer me, Shinji's Eva began screaming as if it was in pain. Breaking free from its restraints with ease and lifting its arms to his head, groggily walking forward with no sense of direction.

"The Eva is forming an AT field inside of itself! The MAGI can't correctly identify the presence of an Angel!" said Makoto

"Is it Shinji?!" I asked worried

Suddenly the Eva let go of his head to look up and let out an agonizing scream, prompting us in Central Dogma to cover our ears. A powerful shockwave came from Unit-10, breaking all the protective windows in the room. After this, Unit-10 collapsed in the ground, unmoving.

"What just happened?" I asked dumbfounded.

"We're not sure, it looked like an AT-Field shockwave, but it didn't have the expected power behind it," said Ritsuko.

"Pilot's vitals are a little erratic, but everything seems fine, he's unconscious though," said Maya, already expecting my question about Shinji's wellbeing.

"Eject the Entry Plug, pull him out and take him to the hospital ward. We have to check if there are signs of contamination in the Eva. An Angel attack is the worst that can happen right now." I ordered.

"I don't think it was the Eva that produced the shockwave Commander," said Ritsuko.

"What are you implying Rits?" I asked, not liking where she was going with this.

"I believe it was Shinji himself the one who caused the shockwave" she answered seriously, giving me a hard stare.

"I think you're being a little too paranoid with him Ritsuko" I replied.

"We have no idea what he's capable of Misato, we need to be careful. For our safety, and the world's" she said. I don't like it one bit that she's implying Shinji's something of a worldwide threat. But what I hate is that I have no proof that she's wrong. We still don't know anything about him.

"What just happened?!" Came Asuka's voice from behind us in her plugsuit, apparently she ran back here as soon as she felt the shockwave rocking NERV, forgoing a bath after her sync test.

"We're still trying to figure it out, Ritsuko believes Shinji caused the shockwave from inside the Eva, but we have no proof yet. And he's unconscious so we can't exactly ask him right now" I debriefed her quickly. I could see the forming frown in her face, clearly worried about him yet trying hard to not show it. She still needs to work on her pride, it's one of her main obstacles in life.

"Are you guys taking Shin-Man to the hospital then?" Came Toji's voice behind Asuka, worry painted in his face too.

"Yes, they are currently pulling him out of the Entry Plug, he should be there at any moment now. We first need to check for signs of contamination, if everything is under control, then you guys can go visit him"

'I love you Shinji, but you're certainly making my life difficult right now' I said to myself.


NERV Hospital Ward, Shinji's POV

Opening my eyes, I recognized a familiar ceiling. 'Again in this place, and I'm not even injured this time' I thought, it seems like Misato and Ritsuko haven't completely assimilated I'm basically immortal. Something feels different though, it feels like my senses have been further enhanced, if I concentrate enough, I can hear the water running through the pipes inside the building structure, I can even feel the level of static in the air, and I can clearly spot imperfections in the ceiling of my room.

"You are finally awake" came Kaworu's voice from my left side. Sitting up in the bed and turning to look at him, I see he's leaning on the wall giving me a small smile.

"How did I end up here?" I asked him

"I am not sure, you were doing well in your synchronization test but suddenly started to feel distressed, then you screamed in pain until you released some kind of pressurized air from inside you," he answered. Just as he finished speaking the door to my room opened and Ritsuko came inside with a metallic cart carrying syringes and other medical tools.

"Good, you're awake," she said while approaching me. "Do you remember what happened in the sync test?" she asked, deciding on skipping formalities such as asking me how I was feeling and the like.

"My scores were fluctuating a bit so Misato told me to concentrate more, I followed the order and…" I don't know how to explain it to her I was inside the Eva's core –which is technically inside me given that I'm its core– without freaking her out. I basically had a conversation with myself and fought with the other part of my soul? I don't even understand it well enough.

"And what Shinji?" she pried further.

"Would you believe me if I told you I was inside Unit-10 core?" I asked sheepishly while giving her an apologetic smile.

"Unit-10 core is empty I told you that much, what do you mean?"

"Well, I'm the core. So, when I concentrate, I reach a space kind of like my consciousness, does that make sense?"

"Not really, but I've never been inside an Eva, maybe Rei or Asuka could understand you better," she reasoned. "But where are you going with this?"

"Inside this space, I met a reflection of myself. The reflection said that he was the part of me that I've been rejecting since I became like this," I gestured at myself. "He tried to fuse with me so I could complete the transition, but it went bad and I started to feel a lot of pain, I managed to stop the fusing but after that moment everything went black." I finished explaining

"We need to run a few tests on you to confirm it wasn't an angel attacking you, and that you're not contaminated" was her reply. She started writing a lot of stuff on her notebook while assessing me with her eyes.

"It wasn't an Angel" I replied quickly

"Shinji, the MAGI were reading a Pattern Blue on some occasions"

"That was me Ritsuko, I was transforming into a complete being" I said

"And how do you know that? I thought you were a complete being already" she fired back, not believing me.

"I don't understand it well enough, but it seems I'm not yet at my maximum capacity. Or so he said"

"You mean to tell me you're supposed to be stronger than you already are?" She doesn't seem too thrilled about that, should have expected that reaction from her though.

"I… well yes. That's technically what I learned today" I answered, giving her an apologetic smile again.

"Can we come in already?!" Came Toji's voice from outside my room

I gave a pleading look to Ritsuko, silently asking her to trust me on this. They don't need the unnecessary stress of thinking we have to battle Angels now on top of everything. She sighs and nods at me, silently saying that she'll put up with me for now. I bowed my head as a sign of thanks.

"Yes, you can come in, I'll just take a blood sample and have a talk with him" said Ritsuko.

Opening the door and entering my room came in Toji, accompanied by Asuka and Rei. It seemed I was out for a while because all three of them were already in normal clothing and there were no traces of water in their heads, meaning they took a bath maybe an hour ago. Toji' wearing dark blue jeans paired with a white buttoned-up shirt except for the first button that was loose. Asuka's wearing some joggers and a hoodie paired with some exercise sneakers, her hair was gathered up in a high ponytail. Rei's outfit consisted of a blue sundress with white stripes paired with matching shoes and a cute choker, it looks like she has a date; she usually doesn't dress so cute.

"Yo Shin-man, how are you feeling?" asked Toji while Ritsuko was concentrated on taking her blood samples

"I'm fine, just a little headache. You guys seem to forget I'm basically immortal" I answered laughing awkwardly and scratching the back of my head.

"It has come to my attention that Misato assigned Asuka to keep an eye on you 24/7 Shinji, is that right?" asked Ritsuko. I could hear Asuka huffing in annoyance in the back of the room in response to her.

"Uh yeah, not like I had any saying in the matter though" I replied.

"Well, there are three main things I want to talk about with you, regarding what we learned yesterday." She waited a moment for my confirmation, and I silently nodded for her to proceed. "First of all, now that we know what we are up against, more or less, I want to start testing your abilities because right now I have no idea what you can and cannot do, and we need that knowledge if we want to prepare for upcoming attacks".

"Second, you and I are going to have psyche sessions on a regular basis in which I'll need you to be completely honest with me. You can't be losing your cool like yesterday, you're too dangerous to be left alone like a normal young adult." Great, now Ritsuko wants to be my shrink.

"And Asuka's going to be in both of these exercises."

"What's up with you people thinking I don't have a life?!" interjected Asuka.

"And for the third thing…" Ritsuko continues.

"I know what you're going to say, and I understand it. You don't have to worry about it." I answered before she could continue.

"Oh yeah? And what that might be?" she asked, not fully believing me

"Well… I suppose it's about relationships." Not really wanting to say what I had in mind crudely, I hope she gets what I'm trying to say. At this mention, everybody in the room looked at me with a confused expression, I guess they never really thought about the dangers of me engaging in relationships.

"You could say that, well I'm going to trust you on this too. We're finished here Shinji; you are free to go." She stood up from the chair she was sitting on and started to walk out of the room. I gave her a sad smile and bid her goodbye. This is going to be difficult, my relationship with Kaguya is on a great spot and now I have to refrain from having sexual encounters. While I understand the reason behind it – if I were to have a child and he or she inherits my powers or part of its it would be extremely dangerous– it doesn't make it easier, and Kaguya's been making it extremely difficult lately, I'll have to put some distance between us and I have no idea how.

"Yo Shin-man, what was that about relationships?" Toji's question pulled me out of my thoughts

"Oh, don't worry about it, it's nothing you guys should concern yourselves with" I answered, giving them an apologetic smile while scratching the back of my head, I'm sure I don't want to explain this to them.

"Well Baka what are you waiting for? Go get yourself changed, we're headed to the mall!"

"Yes ma'am"


Tokyo-3 Mall, Asuka's POV

"You should change the way you dress Asuka, you need to show more skin"

Damn that drunken slob, suggesting such a thing to me knowing full well how I feel about my body. I mean, I know I have a nice figure, I have been keeping in shape since we returned from the primordial soup, but then there are those… things. I stop looking at the rack of clothes in front of me, looking for a new hoodie to buy and glance at the idiot who's accompanying me today. He's been strangely quiet, I've noticed that he tends to look down at his hands deep in thought. He's caught me looking at him a few times by now, but the only thing he does is give me the same sad smile he gave Ritsuko after they finished talking. It's like a defeated look, one that makes it seem that he accepted a fate he's not happy with. I turn back to my rack while a think of a way to make him talk.

"So Baka, what's up with your sulking today?"

"Uh, I'm not sulking"

"Yes you are, I bet a mute makes more noise than you"

"…"

"See?! Come on speak up, what's on your mind? Is it about what you talked about with Ritsuko earlier?"

"Well, yes and no. I just have a lot on my mind that's all"

At least he admitted he's been sulking. But shopping it's too boring like this, I'm not going to survive being chained to him 24/7 if he's always brooding like that. I suddenly found a blouse in my senseless search of this rack. 'Mmm, it actually looks really nice. But…' It was a sleeveless one.

"Hey Shinji?"

"What Asuka?"

"Do you think this would look good on me?" I said, showing him the blouse I had in my hands. At first, he seemed surprised, probably because he noticed the lack of sleeves on the piece of clothing, but after a moment he started… pondering it? He kept looking between me and the garment with a hand in his chin.

"Actually, I think it would fit you. Why don't you try it on?" I certainly wasn't expecting that answer. I give him a small nod to signal that I'm going to follow on his advice, still too shocked from his answer to my question to form words. I make my way to the dressing room and proceed to take off my hoodie, seeing myself in this mirror I take a moment before putting on the new piece of clothing. Facing the mirror, I start tracing my hands over the scars on my abdomen. Trying to feel scarred skin but only sensing normal skin. It's like permanent paint, like a birthmark. It feels exactly like the skin around it but it looks completely different. Red tendrils and bite marks like an animal painted for a sacrificial ritual

'It's disgusting. I look disgusting' I think to myself.

"Everything all right in there Asuka?" came Shinji's voice to pull me out of my thoughts, I look at the watch on my left wrist and I realize it's been like five minutes since I came in.

"Uh… Yeah, I just spaced out for a bit"

Putting on the blouse in question, I take another look at myself. It does look good on me, the blue color of it complements my eyes, maybe I could pair it with some black leggings or tight jeans. I decided to let my hair out of the ponytail, now cascading to my shoulders and mid-back. 'That's better.' I head out of the dressing room with my hands linked behind my back, so I don't have to show my arms too much and saw the Baka waiting for me outside. When he finally realized I was standing in front of him, his eyes went wide in surprise at my attire, turning his head to the side and faking a cough. I caught a glimpse of a blush adorning his cheeks. 'Well that reaction was way better than I hoped' I smiled to myself at that thought.

"So?"

"I told you it would look good on you" he said after composing himself. "It's a nice change from your usual outfits"

"What's wrong with my usual outfit?" I asked in an irritated tone, what was he implying?

"Nothing! It's just… there's no way to say that without sounding perverted"

"That's not surprising coming from you Baka"

"I'm not a pervert Asuka!"

"Then out with it, what did you mean?!"

"I just meant to say it's nice seeing your skin once in a while!" he replied in a loud voice, and as soon as he realized what he had said he covered his mouth with his hands and started looking around to see if anyone had heard him.

"You're right, it does sound lewd you perverted freak" I said in a mocking tone, stifling a laugh of my own. He just looked at me with a dejected expression and dropped his hand to let out a sigh in defeat. He suddenly took notice that I was hiding my arms and stepped forward with a serious face. He took hold of my arms and pulled them towards him with a strength I was not expecting, then grabbed my right arm with his left one and started touching my scar with his right hand, giving me goosebumps in my entire body.

"What are you doing Idiot? I don't remember giving you permission to touch me" this comment prompted him to pull away, immediately making me miss the physical contact.

"I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me. It's probably because I haven't seen them in a while. With you hiding them at all times and all" he said.

"Of course I hide them, they're disgusting" I murmured the last part to myself and looked down at my shoes.

"They're not, not to me" he voiced in a stern and sure tone. Silence started to surround us, an invisible tension between me and him. He's probably waiting for a reply from my part, a counter argument most likely, but there's nothing I can say, his reply made me feel warm inside, a pleasant kind of warm. So sure and with no room for negotiation, like a command. It was generating a battle of acceptance inside me, the side of my brain that keeps telling me I look disgusting and disfigured suddenly doesn't seem so loud right now, I can only hear the echoes of Shinji's voice, commanding me to not hide anymore. Then I remember what Misato told me.

"…the scar in your arm is just visible when people get close to you, and even then, it doesn't look bad at all. It makes you more exotic"

"Excuse me miss, are you buying that piece?" came the voice from the store clerk, I jerked my head up to look at him not fully registering what he just asked.

"She's taking it, we'll be right in the cashier in a moment" said Shinji, dismissing the store clerk

"What makes you think I want to buy this?" I asked in an annoyed tone

"Well like I said, it looks good on you, and I know you liked it the moment you saw it" he replied, giving me a huge grin and walking away from me towards the cashier.

"You damned Idiot…"

After exiting the store we started walking towards the apartment, it seems the Baka's princess is meeting him there for their date today, he's playing cello today for her and then we're having dinner together the four of us. What a great evening we'll have yeah? Makes me want to puke. I can't help feeling exposed, I decided to keep the blouse on and my hair down as we walk back home, while a part of it feels nice I sometimes hug myself due to this feeling of nakedness in my arms.

"What's wrong Asuka?" asked the Idiot

"I just feel exposed is all, don't mind it" I replied, and he gave me a concerned look

"So what was that thing Ritsuko wanted to talk about but you said it wasn't needed, the thing about relationships?" I asked to steer the conversation away from myself, but maybe I should've asked about another thing. He suddenly tensed up and stopped walking, prompting me to stop and look at him with confusion.

"Oh that… is nothing, just thing I have to keep in check around people" he replied

"Well, what kind of things? I'm supposed to be in your shrink sessions, so I think it's better if I know what troubles you in advance no? Plus, we agreed on no more secrets between us" I fired back, crossing my arms in front of my chest and giving him a defiant look.

"It's not a secret…it's just" he started saying but stopped midway and sighed loudly, then started scratching his hair. Why does this puts him so nervous?

"Ugh, I think that she wanted to tell me to refrain from having sex"

"What? Why? What's wrong with you having sex?" I asked even more confused now, so Shinji has to spend his life in celibacy? What could possibly prompt that decision?

"Well, it seems I'm able to have children and I suppose that the possibility of accidentally fathering a superhuman child scares Ritsuko. Life is not an anime and with me already being a huge danger to humanity, I can't blame her for being cautious."

"But that doesn't mean you should never have sex, there are ways to prevent pregnancy and she knows that" I added, clearly displeased with this decision.

"Yeah, but you know they have a very slim chance to fail, and it's a risk she doesn't want to take most likely"

This is just wrong, so Shinji won't be able to enjoy intimacy with his partner? It's not possible for him to start a family because they MIGHT be superhumans? He'll spend eternity alone then? He won't be able to handle that, is just too cruel.

"That's not okay, what will happen with your girlfriend then?" I asked.

"My girlfriend?" he asked in confusion

"Your moon princess you Idiot, I bet she has hopes of at least fucking your brains" I sneered at him, not pleased with the image my mind conjured up after answering him.

"Ahh Kaguya, I honestly have no idea, I need to think about how I'll breach that topic with her without explaining my nature. And she's not my girlfriend, not yet at least."

"What do you mean not yet? You guys have gone on a few dates already no?" I asked confused by his cryptic answer.

"Well, I haven't asked her to be my girlfriend, we are currently just dating I believe." He believes? This guy is seriously one huge Idiot, I'm surprised that girl is putting up with him.

"You really are an Idiot Shinji…"


Evening in Misato's. Shinji's POV

"What has got you so nervous Shinji-kun?" asked my silver-haired friend, who at the moment is doing nothing to help with my current predicament.

"Well Kaguya's is arriving any moment now, and I still don't know what piece I will play for her, Asuka said I was an idiot after I explained that we were just dating, and that got me thinking that maybe she might feel I'm stringing her along and that worries me, and don't get me started on the sex talk I need to have with her!" I rambled on to him, and he just started laughing. LAUGHING!

"I don't even know if I look good enough" I added, which earned me another laugh from him. What's so funny about the situation?

"Shinji-kun. relax, you play cello almost every day I am sure whatever you play for her will work. Forget what Asuka said about you being an idiot, she does that on a daily basis you know it" he started talking at least.

"But I could feel this time she really meant it!"

"That does not matter, just focus on being a nice gentleman today okay? And you can ask your Princess about your get-up, I am sure she would love to give you her opinion on it" he said the last part grinning maliciously, what's up with him?

Taking a few calming breaths while assessing myself in the mirror, I think I look good enough for today, maybe a bit overdressed? I put on a navy-blue suit I usually wear when doing presentations in university (sans the tie) and a white button-up dress shirt. I think I might have exaggerated a bit with the clothing, I'm in my home after all. Well it's too late to be sorry, with that in mind I head out of my room to prep the living room for my playing.

"What's up with you in presentation style? You must have hit your head while on the way home" said Asuka in a gruff tone, currently sitting in the kitchen table scrolling through her cellphone, with her legs propped up on the table. She's still wearing the blouse she bought earlier and I'm secretly happy she decided to keep it on, it's a great fit and also refreshing to see… more of her these days. She's certainly a beautiful woman.

"I think I went a bit overboard with it"

"A bit? Yeah right, if that lets you sleep at night so be it" she replied laughing a little at my answer. Shortly after her comment, a ringing sound made itself known, which means my visitor finally arrived. Hastily moving to open the door of the apartment, I see Kaguya standing outside giving me a broad smile. Sporting black leggings, a white button-up loose shirt, and a pair of cerulean blue sneakers, she really looks good in anything.

"Wow I didn't know it was such a formal occasion," said Kaguya, making me blush in embarrassment at reminding me of my over-the-top attire.

"It's not! I just didn't know what to wear and I usually wear suits when presenting in college, so I just went with what feels natural and…" I started rambling, trying to explain my dumb train of thought of putting on a suit to play in the confines of my own home.

"I wish I had a camera like Kensuke-kun to record you right now," said Kaworu teasing me from behind and making me turn even redder in embarrassment.

"Ohh, you're so silly Shinji. I was worried I might be underdressed for a second there" she chuckled a bit.

"Come on in, let me show you around the house before I get to play" I offered her my hand which she happily took and let herself be led by me throughout the house.

"Good evening Asuka, it's nice to see you again!" hollered Kaguya at my fiery roommate, waving from where we standing on the entrance removing our shoes.

"Yeah, likewise" was the only answer that came from Asuka, she returned her gaze to her cellphone after waving back, but not before glaring at me and huffing in an annoyed manner. What's up with her suddenly?

After giving her a quick tour of the apartment, in which she clearly noticed my room is actually the storage room and questioned me about why I still live there when I'm old enough to live by myself. I answered that I kind of got used to it and it never crossed my mind to move out. Finishing the tour and offering her a cup of tea, we made our way to the living room where my cello was, ready to be played.

"So um, I'll play a piece that's not exactly for the cello, but I kind of arranged it because I really like it. It's called Love's Sorrow by Fritz Kreisler and I hope you like it as much as I do." I said to her, earning an excited smile from my audience of today.

"I will give you some privacy and go hang out with the Princess while you woo your brunette" said Kaworu inside my head and I saw him exiting the living room and heading towards the kitchen. I Mentally thanked him for his consideration and took a few deep breaths to concentrate and started playing slowly.

I really like this piece, it has so much raw feeling and a beautiful melody, even though it is a sad composition. I usually play it when my mind is overloaded with too much stuff, and I feel how it I release all the pent-up frustration every time I accentuate a note, or how it calms my worries every time I play a diminishing note. I start imagining the recent events I've gone through, the talk with Asuka in the roof, the romantic dinner with Kaguya, the talk with my father and my outburst, the way Asuka's hug relieved me of my pent-up stress yesterday, the transformation I suffered earlier today and how my senses were overwhelmed when I woke up in the hospital. And I let it all express in my playing.

After I'm finished and I open up my eyes, I see Kaguya looking at me with such a joyful expression and a few tears in her eyes. I smile sheepishly and look around the room trying to find Asuka.

'Wait, why am I looking for her? I'm playing for Kaguya. What's wrong with you Shinji?' I thought to myself. I quickly shake those thoughts out of my head and repeat myself that I was playing for my date and not my roommate. I don't know why, but I felt like I was expressing too much of myself and expected to see Asuka instead of Kaguya. Now I suddenly feel naked and exposed in front of her, and is not exactly a comfortable feeling

"Oh my god Shinji, that was so beautiful! I've never heard of that song before, but I loved it! I felt so many emotions in your play that I even started crying! You play beautiful Shinji!" she exclaimed, standing up abruptly and walking towards me giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"Are you going to play more for me?" she asked with those starlight eyes that catch my attention every time.

"I… Uh… Yes, let me just take a few moments to concentrate again and I'll play a couple more for you" I answered, willing myself to think about the present situation and now dwell on what just happened.


Meanwhile in the kitchen. Asuka's POV

The sound of Shinji's playing starts echoing in the apartment. He's playing Liebesleid for her, and I can't help but feel a stab of pain. I know that's a very personal piece for him, for both of us, because I was the one who suggested the arrangement in the cello for a class, he had last year. I didn't tell him that it was because I used to play it on the violin when I was little and I wanted to hear him play it for me of course, but it is a personal piece nonetheless. He thanked me for the idea, saying the song helped him clear his mind when things became too much, and there he is, playing it for that woman. Suddenly a piece of paper makes its way in front of me on the table and I remember we've been living with a ghost for six years.

"Are you not going to see him play Princess? Why? – K.N" reads the note. I sigh and proceed to answer him.

"No, I'm not. I don't feel like it. I'm not one to interrupt dates either. And stop calling me that" Then there's the sound of paper scratching and a pencil writing.

"I thought you liked that song. The new blouse suits you by the way, great choice of clothing Princess. – K.N"

Why does he keep ending the messages with his initials? I know it's him and it's not like we're sending each other mails. His comment about me liking the piece successfully dampers my mood even more. I wonder when Misato's coming home, I'm hungry and the only upside about Shinji bringing his date here is the food he's making. I stand up and head to the fridge, might as well start drinking if I want to make it through the night without doing something stupid.

"Thanks for the compliment, here I picked one for you too. Although I don't know if you can drink it" I handed him the beer and it suddenly started floating in the air, I'm never going to get used to that.

"Thank you, Princess, but if I drink it Shinji is going to feel like liquid is going down his throat and interrupt his playing. – K.N"

"You're shitting me, I have to see that" I comment chuckling, this guy won't stop calling me that and I'm not in the mood to start arguing with a ghost. "Then do it when he finishes playing, I really need to know if you're kidding or not."

After Shinji finished his second piece, the front door to the apartment opened up and Misato's voice came through in a loud "IM HOME!" followed by the sound of someone choking and coughing from the living room.

"Are you okay Shinji?!" came Kaguya's concerned voice and I just started laughing my ass off without restraint. I really thought the ghost was kidding about the drinking, but I think this is better.

"That's not funny Asuka!" yelled Shinji, it seems he suspects I might have something to do with his choking.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" I yelled back still laughing at his reaction.

"What's so funny?" questioned Misato, approaching the kitchen table after leaving her shoes in the entrance. And quickly the ghost handed her a letter, probably explaining why I was laughing so much. He's a fast writer now that I think about it.

"You're kidding Nagisa-kun," said Misato

"That's what I thought too, but it's for real"

"Really? Go ahead and show me then." And the can of beer slowly lifted up and tilted slightly, no liquid falling on the floor, and after two seconds came the choking and coughing of Shinji again, prompting me and Misato to laugh out loud. After a couple of seconds, an angry Shinji appeared from the living room with a clear frown on his face, and a confused-looking girl right behind him.

"Will you please stop that?! I'm trying to play here" spat Shinji to me, at which I responded with an amused smirk, and signaled him to Misato, silently telling him that she was responsible for his misery.

Composing himself and straightening up his suit, he proceeded to say hi to Misato, and present his Kaguya to our Commander and former Guardian. Misato quickly started asking questions to the poor girl about her life and what she does for a living. Shinji took this as his cue to stop his playing and start prepping the table for dinner. Thank God, I'm starving, and the food looks delicious. I feel a piece of paper on my palm under the table and glance at it, probably the ghost trying to tell me something again.

"You should laugh more often, I'm sure that would make Shinji-kun very happy. – K.N"

'Fuck off you damned ghost' I thought to myself.


After dinner. Shinji's POV

Well, everything is turning out fine, Misato's already drunk and hasn't stopped talking with Kaguya since we sat down to eat dinner. I join the conversation on occasion and the three of us engage in playful banter. Asuka's been really quiet though, I silently asked her what was wrong, and she just waved me off and mouthed 'nothing, just tired' across the table to me, so I decided to leave it be. The three of them are drinking beer, but only Misato's showing signs of intoxication, and Kaguya seems to slur a few words now and then but nothing too serious. I glance at the time and realize it's almost 10:00 PM, I should probably take her back home, don't want any trouble on the way.

"I think we should get going Kaguya, it's getting kind of late" I interrupted her conversation with Misato.

"Aww, but I was enjoying myself with the Commander! Right Commander?" she said pouting and looking at Misato, who was nodding too enthusiastically. She needs to stop drinking before things get ugly later tonight.

"I know, but you know these streets aren't exactly safe late at night. Come on, I'll drive you" I said, standing up and fetching the keys to my car I never drive, I hope it starts up, it's been a while since I took it for a drive so the battery doesn't end up dead.

"I didn't know you drive Shinji!"

"I prefer walking honestly, but I do own a car because of NERV"

"Well everybody, it's been a pleasure for me spending this evening with you! I hope we can do it again sometime, and the next time Shinji will play for all of us!" She exclaimed while we were exiting the apartment.

The ride to her place was unusually quiet but in a comfortable way. We were listening to the radio, joining our hands through the whole ride. It felt nice. While driving many thoughts came and went, like the sex issue and how to talk to Kaguya about it, the way Asuka's acting lately, and how nice it was to see her changing clothes today, my enhanced senses after today's accident, controlling my abilities by training with Ritsuko. It has been a really busy day, and I'm glad Kaguya's here with me. I feel at ease with her, the way her hand gently caresses mine, the smile she gave me after I finished playing for her, how easy it is to be around her. Maybe I should ask her to be my girlfriend already? I know it's basically a formality at this point, given the way our relationship has evolved in the past week, but something is preventing me from taking that step. I know what it is, but right now I'm glad Kaworu's not here to point it out for me.

"And… we have arrived," I said looking at her. She's giving me an amused smile and I can't help but feel something is about to happen. "What?" I nervously asked while chuckling awkwardly.

"I still owe you your reward for playing for me Shinji~" she said in a seductive tone.

Oh, that. I blush at her evident attempt to get me excited for the incoming reward.

"And how would you like to reward me, Lady Kaguya?" I replied, trying to not get flustered thinking of all the possible things she might have in store for me.

"Come a little closer and I'll tell you" she whispered, signaling with her finger to approach her. As my face neared hers, she grabbed the collar of my shirt and whispered seductively in my ear.

"I'm going to make you feel good now" and started unbuttoning the top of my shirt and pressing her hands on my chest. Caressing it and moving up to touch my shoulders. "Just like you did for me with your beautiful playing," she said and suddenly sucked on my earlobe, earning a small groan from my part.

Provoked by my reaction, she pulled back from my ear and crashed her lips against mine in a passionate kiss. I wasted no time in returning her kiss, clearly worked up by her previous actions and ministrations. Reaching up and tangling my hands in her hair, I traced my tongue on her lower lip, asking for permission she immediately granted, starting a fight for dominance with her tongue. I sucked on it and earned a short moan from her, which spurred me on even further. Untangling my hands from her hair, I broke the kiss and started kissing down her jawline to her neck, giving open-mouthed wet kisses, provoking gasps and moans from my partner. She scratched my chest with her nails, sending bolts of electricity through my whole body, but before I could continue working, she gently pushed me away from her.

"Wait Shinji," she said catching her breath but before I could ask what was wrong, she unbuckled her seatbelt and proceeded to climb on the seat and crossed over to my side, successfully straddling my lap.

"I've been wanting to do this since you finished playing your first piece," she said, and crashed her lips on mine once more, pulling out more buttons from my shirt and tracing her fingers on my abs, and making me shudder in delight.

This is getting dangerous, and I should stop this before I lose even more control but I'm so intoxicated with her taste, smell and the sensations she's giving me that I ignore that inner voice and grab her ass, which melds perfectly in my hands, grinding my hips with hers in a visible attempt to create more friction between us. She moans at this and separates from my mouth to return the same treatment I gave to her just a moment ago, creating a trail of kisses down my neck, gently biting and sucking on the base of my neck. I lift one arm to the front of her blouse to start unbuttoning the top, while I give her a smack on the ass with her other one and she moans in response.

"Someone is enjoying his reward," she says between kisses in a breathy voice.

"You're driving me crazy" I reply, grinding my hips once again and this time she responds grinding back and digging her nails in my shoulder.

She stops her ministrations to lean back on the steering wheel, batting my hand from the buttons of her shirt and starts undoing them herself. After she opens the top of the shirt, showing me her white lace bra and beautiful breasts, she grabs both of my hands and puts them on top of her tits, looking at me with half-lidded eyes full of lust and desire.

"I want you to touch me more Shinji" she said and that all it takes for me, I'm gone already and about to make a great mistake. I pull her bra down releasing her boobs from their prison, quickly grabbing them both and taking one of her nipples in my mouth, and start sucking on them. She gifts my ministrations with a loud moan, grabbing my hair to keep me in place while I continue giving her pleasure.

"Yes just like that!" she cries and moans again. I can feel her start grinding more and more on my crotch, desperately seeking the pleasure we both need right now. And just as she's reaching down to unbuckle my belt and undo the buttons of my pants, my cellphone starts ringing and it breaks the moment between us. Catching our breaths and slowing down on our actions I reach down to take my phone out of my pocket, it's Asuka.

"I'm sorry, but I should take this call, it might be something important," I said, feeling dejected but at the same time grateful that she called. I was on the way of committing the same thing I told Ritsuko I would refrain from today.

"It's okay Shinji, I understand," she said between breaths and gave me a reassuring smile.

"Hello, Asuka?" I asked on the phone.

"Hey Baka, Misato's getting antsy because you've been gone too long without supervision, so I need you to come back before she sends me to find you." She said annoyingly over the phone.

"But I thought I was allowed to go on dates?" I replied, and this earned me a confused look from Kaguya's. I signaled that I would explain it to her another time but to not worry herself about it.

"I know, but it seems she needs time to adjust to that idea, so get your ass back here"

"Yeah I get it, I'm on my way" I replied, clearly not pleased with the constant supervision. But maybe it's for the best if the tent in my pants is any indication.

"Sorry Kaguya, I have to head home now"

"Don't apologize for it, I know it's not your fault" she replied and leaned on to give me a sweet kiss on the lips and smiled at me.

"I guess I'll have to take care of your friend here some other time" she smirked seductively at me while pointing down at the evident bulge in my pants. The image of her taking care of it suddenly brought a deep blush to my face and I unconsciously clench my crotch, making my little friend twitch in anticipation. She felt it in her center due to our clothed union and gasped a little.

"Don't be so eager now" she said.

Returning to her seat and fixing both of our clothes, she gave me a goodbye kiss and went inside her apartment, and I drove back to Misato's apartment with only one thought in my head. 'I need a freezing cold shower right now.'

Arriving at my home, I quickly made my way to the kitchen and took out a whisky glass, preparing myself a scotch on the rocks and heading out to the balcony to cool down before heading to the bath. Don't want to finish what I started earlier by myself. Staring out to the city below and drinking my whisky, I got lost in my thoughts and the actions of earlier. I nearly had sex without thinking about it twice, not even trying to stop her.

"So you're the supposed Shinji Ikari" came a voice from my right side, startling me as I snap my head to the source of it and see a tall man, about my height staring at me with his arms crossed in front of his chest and an evident frown on his face. He has jet black hair around shoulder length and cerulean blue eyes like those of Asuka's, however his seem to glow in an unnatural way, glimmering like a night sky full of stars. He's wearing a white buttoned-up shirt with the sleeves pulled back, and some black trousers with matching black shoes.

"Who are you? You're not supposed to be in here" I said in a threatening manner.

"My name is Alistair, the ultimate warrior" he replied calmly and started approaching me. "I came here to see what all the fuss is about you, both from Modri and her Highness"

Modri? So this guy is with those invaders?!

"But it seems you're just a weakling" he said with disdain and before I could react, he swung his hand at supersonic speed and severed my left forearm, making me cry in pain and dropping my whisky glass which shattered on the floor. I could see how his right hand started glowing in a white light moments before striking.

"I just can't understand what the Queen sees in you" he added before thrusting his left arm through my gut, impaling me and making me vomit blood, goddammit why is this guy so strong?! I can barely keep up with his movements.

"You haven't even completed the transition, yet she believes you're stronger than all of us, it seems she's wrong on that note. What's this? There's another soul inside of you?"

At this mention, I widened my eyes and tried looking for Kaworu in my surroundings, I finally caught sight of him but he looked even paler than his usual self, with sweat beads running down his face and the mark of a hand's grip on his neck.

"Shinji-kun, he is killing me" said Kaworu in a strangled voice.

"LET HIM GO!" I screamed at the stranger and tried to choke him with my working hand, the other being on the floor and severed from my body. But this didn't seem to have any effect, because as much as I was tightening my grip on his neck, he seemed unfazed, his skin feels sturdier than a whole building.

"And how a weakling like you is going to make me submit? This is a fool's errand, I'm more fit for the Queen than you'll ever be, weak Lilin" he said and tightened his grip on Kaworu's soul. I glanced again at him and could see his extremities being broken and bent in all the wrong ways, it seemed like he was being compressed.

'I can't allow this to happen, I can't lose him he's my best friend!' I screamed internally. 'I need more strength; I need it now!'

"You know what you have to do" came a voice inside my head. "Complete the transition, or you and your friend will die" said, and it started showing me the painful memories of my life all over again.

When I saw my father again in front of Unit-01, the feeling of rage I felt as he said that I had to pilot it or an injured Rei would have to do it for me. I felt my skin burning from my anger and together with it came Ramiel's attack, drilling a whole in my chest with a skin-searing beam of light. Every painful memory from my piloting days to the day I spoke with my father this week, every sensation I ever felt was being drilled into my being, amplified a hundred times over. I let out a scream of pain as another shockwave released from my body and brought me back to reality.

"What the…" It seems the shockwave pushed Alistair out of my body. Now in a kneeling position and staring at me in surprise, I quickly straightened up my back from my also kneeling posture and extended my opened right hand towards him.

"Oh my god Shinji!" came Asuka's voice from inside the apartment, it was a matter of time before she headed out to see what all the commotion was about. I saw Alistair briefly looking at Asuka and I took that distraction to attack him.

"GET OUT OF MY HOME!" I screamed and a beam of light shot out of my palm, exactly how Sachiel once impaled the head of Unit-10 and struck him in the middle of the chest. The beam pushed him away, breaking the stone wall of the veranda and continued pushing until he was way out of my enhanced eyesight and into the outskirts of the city. After I undid the beam of light from my hand, I fell forward in exhaustion and landing face-first in a pool of my blood.

Asuka came running towards me and pulled me up, leaning me to the stone wall of balcony and giving me a couple of slaps in the face, effectively drenching her hands of my blood.

"Oh my god Shinji, don't you die on me, what happened?!" she asked but I was still trying to catch my breath and assimilate my transition. Now that I blasted that bastard away and the adrenaline is dwindling, my emotions and senses are overloading me.

"Please, please answer me Shinji, please don't die on me" she said, now gripping my ruined shirts with both her hands and leaning her head on my shoulder. I could perfectly hear her faint sniffles, and smell the salt in her tears. I slowly lifted my right hand to touch her, which startled her and she quickly pulled away from me. Opening my eyes I saw the face of the most beautiful woman in the whole world, covered in blood and with tears streaming down her cheeks. I reached up to touch her cheek, just like she did all those years ago in that beach.

"I'm okay Asuka… I won't die on you, not today" I breathed out in a hoarse voice, and she started crying even more and proceeded to hug me tightly in her arms. The last thing I remember is smelling the strawberry shampoo she has always used before everything went black.


On a street in the outskirts of Tokyo-3

A black-haired man was lying on his back in the middle of the sidewalk, under him was a pool of his own blood and in the middle of his chest was a clear hole of about 7 inches wide. However, the man seemed unfazed, looking up at the stars of the dark night sky, just breathing in and out in an even manner. The sound of footsteps approaching him did nothing to change his current trance. When the responsible for the footsteps stopped right beside him he voiced.

"I'm sorry I disobeyed you Your Highness, I just needed to test him."

"And how that turned out for you, my dear Alistair?" replied amused the individual beside him in a feminine voice.

"I still believe I'm more worthy of you my Queen, he's just a weakling who's in love with another Lilin. I don't understand why you keep going after him" replied the man in a calm voice

"I know what he is, and I know he loves another. But I do not care about that, I will make him fall in love with me, and then I won't be alone anymore in this world" replied the woman.

"But, Your Highness…" but before he could complete his sentence, a small beam of light severed his head from his body, cutting his vocal cords along with it.

"But nothing, I did not ask for your opinion, Alistair. Be grateful I'm only punishing you like this,. When you're healed go back to the base and let me handle the situation. Modri needs to calm down and let me work on my plan" said the woman before slowly retreating from the man. And just like that, the man kept staring into the starry night, mentally cursing how things were turning out for him.


Author's Note

And that's a wrap!! Wow this chapter sure was kind of difficult to write, some scenes were just not doing it for me. But in the end i'm happy with the result. That heated scene though, never thought i'd be writing one of those anytime soon.

So the following chapters are not going to follow the same pacing, i've realized that in just one week, these guys have seen a lot of action and they should take a break every now and then right?

As always, i would like to thank everyone for reading my work, even if you don't review it i'm glad you take time to sit through it and read it. For those who constantly leave reviews, i'm eternally grateful because they inspire me to keep developing this fic when i hit creative roadblocks or can't seem to find the inspiration to keep writing it. I'm thinking of writing a few one shots too to keep improving.

Lastly, if you enjoyed the chapter and if it's not too much a hassle, leave a review!