Only 2 left after this one and then a HUUUUUUUGE epilogue (debating whether or not to split it into maybe 3 parts because it's currently 12000 words so far and it's not even halfway done)! You guys have been amazing readers and next chapter will definitely answer some questions about the battle's outcome. Unfortunately, writing may take a little bit longer because reasons. On a side note, Chapters 21- 30 have been revised and chapter 22 has an entirely new scene. Anyways, enjoy!
Sansa
It was such a beautiful winter's day. The snow was falling lightly all around and it almost seemed like there wasn't a war going on. Sansa stood on the balconies surrounding the courtyard of Winterfell and watched with Gilly next to her as some of the children were playing together.
Theon's son Theon, Ashara Dayne, and Little Sam had built a few snowmen down below and were re-enacting the battle at the Wall. Ashara had her arms out pretending to be a dragon and Theon was pretending to be Jon and together they bashed one of their 'white walkers' into a pile of snow. Then Little Sam came in with a little wooden stick and pretended it was a bow so could shoot arrows at another one of their enemies. They all laughed together as they played.
It reminded Sansa of the times when she was a little girl. She and Jeyne would have snowball fights with Robb and Jon. The boys always had harder throws but the girls always outnumbered them. But as they got older, she became more distant and tried to be more like her mother.
"Theon!" Bella called her boy from the courtyard. "You didn't eat lunch today." Even though Sansa didn't require it of her, Bella was working in the kitchens. She was the type of person who liked to keep themselves busy. She was a good woman and a good mother.
"But mama," Theon whined, "roots taste like mud… no, they taste worse than mud!" There was no argument from anyone, but none of the other children dared to agree in front of Theon's mother.
Bella pinched him by the ear and dragged him away. "You'll eat your food and that's that." Her son attempted to free himself but by the looks of it, her pinch was too much to fight off. Ashara waved goodbye as did Little Sam, both of whom looked sad that they lost a playmate but glad it wasn't them being dragged off.
Gilly giggled lightly at the scene. She had her hands rested at her stomach that was starting to show it's roundness. Yesterday before dinner, Sansa confided in her about what to expect during pregnancy and it ended up with the reveal that Gilly had been with child before the armies had left. She never told anyone yet in hopes of surprising Samwell. Her thick clothes did most of the hiding but now she didn't have much care for who knew and who didn't. She said that Sam would be just as happy when he found out.
"I hope I have another boy. I think Little Sam deserves a little brother." Gilly smiled as the Ashara and Little Sam continued to play, toppling the white walkers over in triumph. "What do you hope yours will be?"
The question rocked Sansa a little. She still hadn't come to full terms with herself about the child. The worries of a bastard still outweighed the joys of having a child. "I don't know."
Gilly took notice of Sansa's silence and worry. "You don't look happy."
"Highborn women are looked at differently than highborn men when they have bastards,"
Sansa confessed."The easiest way to put it is that we're like milk that's spoiled. And raising a child in the eyes of the world we live in, it's still a bit terrifying for me."
Gilly scoffed at her. "That's not terrifying, it's stupid. Terrifying is when I had Little Sam and thought my husband was going to take him away to the White Walkers. Terrifying is when you live in a world that's nothing but cold and praying to anyone who'll listen that today wasn't the day your baby's life slipped away from you."
She did not ease off from the differences of their views and by all means, was right. While Sansa was worrying about how to deal with the political fallout that would come at her and her child, Gilly had to once worry about merely how to survive long enough to see another tomorrow.
"You southerners always overcomplicate things," Gilly said before leaving and taking Little Sam with her inside the castle.
This was a new side Sansa hadn't witnessed from Gilly. Granted, they rarely ever spoke, but Sansa always saw her as the shy type. Perhaps what she said broke Gilly out of her shell.
Even though she was only a Wildling, Gilly had a fair point. Was she really overcomplicating this? She didn't want to take another husband, so she had no worries of sullying herself. But she still had to represent her status of a Lady. She was brought up to be a noble, not commoner nor a whore.
She couldn't think much longer since Ashara returned to her because there was no one else to play with.
"Did you have fun?"
"We defeated the White Walkers!" Ashara cheered.
"You certainly did. If they ever come again, I want you to make the battle plans. They won't stand a chance."
Together with Ashara, Sansa went to the training yard to see to Rickon. They found him practicing sword fighting with a few of the other boys he befriended while they were at the Wall.
One of the older boys, probably seventeen years old, was knighted after the attempted ambush on the castle. Both he and Rickon were sparing with live steel. Only Rickon used Valyrian steel instead of castle-forged steel like his opponent.
This was the first time Sansa actually saw her little brother able to wield Snow in a fight. His injuries from the Battle of the Bastards weighed on him but now they did nothing to avert him from the strength he needed to use their family's new ancestral sword.
Unfortunately, it still wasn't enough for him to win the match as the older boy parried Snow and had Rickon wide open to be stabbed. "You lasted longer at least," he said with a smirk.
Rickon rolled his eyes at him. "That's enough for today, Ser Ballor," Rickon emphasized with exaggeration. "Rugory, your turn. We'll use practice swords this time." He traded Snow for a tourney blade and saw Sansa waiting for him. He looked over to the other onlooking boys as Ser Ballor began sparring with another boy who was probably his twin given their identical looks. "Gerold," Rickon called, "Come on now."
Gerold Dayne poked his head out from the crowd and waddle over to Rickon but passed him ignorantly when he saw Sansa and immediately went to her instead. "Have you been feeling better?" Rickon asked as he approached his sister.
She still hadn't told him about her pregnancy. While she was taking steps to improve her recovery of nausea and controlling her mood swings, she still had morning sickness regularly. "Categorically."
Rickon merely shrugged given that there was nothing he could really. "I hope you feel better. I'll come by when I'm done here." Rickon returned to his training while Sansa took both Dayne children by the hand and escorted them back into the castle. They went in Sansa's room, returning to Matthias and Aemon who had both just woken from their naps.
Ashara and Gerold climbed on Sansa's bed while Sansa tended to the babes. She had a wetnurse come to feed and change them. After she left, Sansa watched over them all the while contemplating on her pregnancy.
To her knowledge, there haven't been many highborn women with bastards aside from Cersei of course. She once heard a rumor that Lady Barbery Dustin had one when she was still Barbery Ryswell but it was only just that, a rumor. Aegon the Unworthy had his consorts and they gave him bastards, and that caused five rebellions.
Sansa began to wonder about her child's life and hers as well. Jon promised her that there wouldn't be any political matches for gain. She didn't want to marry again as a piece in the great game.
Besides, now that she was pregnant with a bastard, what value did she have now? She was just a lady regent and advisor to Warden of the North. But once Rickon was wed and grown enough to rule on his own, what place would there be for her and her child?
She was good at ruling, she liked it. She liked people coming to her for guidance and help and she liked being able to solve their problems. It gave her purpose rather than just sitting idly by like she had to at the Wall during battle.
"Sorry I'm late," Rickon announced as he entered. His face was all sweaty from training. he undid his sword belt and leaned Snow against the nightstand. "I feel like I could give Jon a run for his gold after that much work."
"What about Arya?"
"Psh, absolutely not. She'd be merciless against me." He went over to her and took Aemon from her arms, leaving her with Matthias.
"Speaking of girls, I've seen you lingering with Johnna and her sister more frequent in the last few days."
Rickon's face reddened as he sat down. Through certain connections, Sansa learned of a marriage that almost happened between the Lord of Winterfell and a certain wildling girl. "She wants me to teach her and her sister how to read and write."
"I'm sure Maester Wolkan will welcome them in lessons."
"No, she wants ME to teach them. I'm not opposed, but I wouldn't know where to start… maybe I should just let Maester Wolkan do it."
"If you want to, you can join them. Your penmanship does need work after all."
"It's not that bad." He argued.
"No, but it needs to be better. Maybe if show Johnna your letters, she won't think it much of a challenge." There were actually many other wildling children living in Winterfell. Some were orphaned and the rest had their mothers or fathers. But what they all had in common was a lack of education in their new home. There were just as many adults with the same dilemma "Perhaps we should have a school built. Not just for the children but the adults as well."
Rickon silently thought about the idea and nodded in agreement. "We wouldn't even need to build one. We can use one of the vacant cabins."
"We should outfit them to be proper homes, not just logs but stone as well. When winter dies down, the work here will go faster."
"Faster, maybe. Lessen? No. I'm still trying to figure out what to do about the Night's Watch. Lord Commander Tollett is keeping them busy, but many are still questioning what's the point of the order anymore? With no Wildlings or White Walkers to defend the realm from, what's their job? Not only that but occupying empty castles isn't as easy as thought it would be. Whoever is given the rule of Lonely Steps will be questioned to serve under the Umbers or the Icewoods. King's Herd might as well be rebuilt completely. Whoever's made Lord of Queenscrown will be handling the Night's Watch and how to get rid of the lake surrounding the whole tower." Rickon sighed deeply and sank in his chair.
Sansa had an idea. "I'll do it."
"Hmm? Do what?"
"Queenscrown. You need someone you trust and rely on to settle this. I can become Lady and deal with the Night's Watch."
"But it's a lone tower in the middle of a lake, hardly fit for a Stark."
"You said yourself you are being overwhelmed and now that I'm offering to help your refusing."
"Because you deserve more than just a tower and a broken village. I mean, someplace better and fit for a queen."
"What is broken can be fixed and made better than before. With no wilding raids, the people who settle will be able to live peacefully. It's high time House Stark branched out in the North. And the tower itself is called Queenscrown. This is something I want to do."
"Are you sure? It's not Winterfell though. I mean, it's just a tower. And you'll be alone up there."
"Believe me, a lone tower is far better than Red Keep." He seemed insistent that she stay. "Are you afraid of being alone?"
Rickon didn't respond immediately, meaning yes. "I don't like saying goodbye anymore. First to you and Arya, then Robb and mother, then Bran. I never got the chance to say it to some of my friends when they died at the Wall. I just wish things were how they were when we were all together."
Sansa remembered when she was the complete opposite. She couldn't wait to get away from Winterfell and go to King's Landing. Then the day came that all she wanted to do was go home. The day she watched her father murdered. "Me too."
Rickon sighed and sat up. "I'll speak to Maester Wolkan tomorrow about drawing up some documents and arrange for your travels."
"So soon? I meant it in the sense of when you didn't need me here any longer." She chuckled.
"Oh… I thought you meant… oh." He cleared his throat. "How long do you think that will be?"
"How about after you get married and the new Lady Stark sits beside you instead of me."
"I think I can be alright with that. But it's still just a tower."
Sansa recalled when Arya backed her into a corner after becoming Queen of the North, how she accused her of always liking pretty things. She wouldn't deny that she did and there wasn't anything wrong with that. Arya liked to be a fighter and she liked to be a Lady of the court. And she had seen the tower and the remains of the village when they all rode for the Wall. "In a few years, I think I can turn it into a good holdfast. But if you want to renovate it, well, if it's even possible, I won't stop you. It will be a good home for me a-..." She almost let the secret out. But as she thought about it, maybe the reason she felt so withdrawn in herself was that she was keeping it a secret. Perhaps Gilly was right, she was overcomplicating it. "It will be a good home for me and my child."
"Wha-what? Child?" He looked at Sansa wide-eyed only for her to nod and slip a hand over her stomach. "You… this is… I mean… is it a Snow?"
"Does that make you uncomfortable?" Sansa asked.
"That's supposed to be my question."
Sansa shook her head. "No, it doesn't." She took a moment to let herself believe her own words. "It really doesn't. In a way, I feel glad that it happened." It was something that assured her that she didn't fear the memories of what she suffered.
"If you really are sure about this, then you have my support. But I mean, I'm sure if you asked Jon he wouldn't hesitate to naturalize your child."
Sansa shook her head. "Just because this child won't have my name, it doesn't mean it won't have my love. It's time that we try to change how we see people. Not for their names, but their quality."
"Aye, Jon's proof enough of that." Rickon agreed as he lightly bounced Aemon in his arms. He spent just as much time with the twins as Sansa did and was doing an excellent job. He was practically a big brother watching over them. "They're so chubby."
Watching him be a gentle soul made Sansa smile. She sat in her armchair with Matthias in her arms. He was sound asleep but had a hand latched onto her finger quite tightly. "I remember you were even more so when you were a baby." Back when their world was all they could ever ask for.
Sansa looked over to the two Dayne children who were sitting on her bed with Aemon's dragon egg, the red one. Gerold was rubbing his hands on the scaled texture over and over like he was petting it. Ashara was sitting next to him and playing with a small doll and a wooden knight. Edric had some duties he had to take care of today with Sarella Martell. For the past few weeks, they had been corresponding with their vassal Houses to arrange for Starfall to be rebuilt.
She still hadn't told him that she was carrying his child within her. It troubled her more than confronting Edric about sleeping with him. She tried to imagine being scolded by her mother. For some reason, it put her at ease because of how ironic everything had become for her. Arya never wanted to be a lady but now she was married to a great lord. Sansa wanted to be the perfect lady for her mother but now she had a bastard within her.
Despite how things were, she wasn't ashamed of herself for it. This was a child born of the love between two people. She thought if Jon really was her father's bastard then would the honorable Ned Stark have acted the same? Would he still have taken Jon into his home? Years ago, she wouldn't have. She didn't understand what it truly meant. But now, she felt so differently.
She didn't feel that the child within her was a child of sin like the faith taught them to be. But that was the teachings of the Faith of the Seven, not the North. In the North, a man gets what he earns. She did not have a single doubt that her child would prove their quality.
While they all enjoyed their peace, Maester Wolkan silently entered the room. "Pardon my lord, my lady. A raven arrived from the south." The old maester broke into a smile. "House Targaryen took King's Landing. The crown is victorious."
Sansa lost the air in her lungs when she heard the news. It was overwhelming information that brought such a wave of joy to her heart. After a decade of war and fighting, the monsters responsible for so much pain and death were defeated. She looked to Rickon and saw that he was just as joyful as she was. He was smiling greatly but keeping his excitement contained while he held Aemon. "We should announce it to everyone!" He almost yelled.
"Send for the wetnurse to watch over the babes and gather the household in the courtyard," Sansa ordered the Maester. "I shall let them know personally."
"At once, my lady." Wolkan left and Sansa set Matthias down in his crib and Rickon did the same with Aemon.
"Ashara, Gerold," the two Dayne children looked up at her. "Would you like to come with us?" Gerold nodded and crawled off the bed and then gently placed the egg back in Aemon's crib.
Ashara looked up to Sansa. "Does this mean we are going home?"
"Yes, it does. The fighting is done and now we have dragons to watch over us and keep us safe."
Ashara smiled momentarily, but it faded and she grew sad.
"Are you alright?" Sansa asked before tears began to well up in the purple eyes of Ashara Dayne. "Rickon, could take Gerold outside and wait for us, please?"
He nodded silently and did as asked while Sansa sat Ashara back on the bed and listened.
"Tell me what's wrong," Sansa asked softly.
"I don't want to go home." Ashara cried quietly.
"Why not? Is it because someone broke your home?"
Ashara shook her head.
"Do you like it here."
"Yes, but that's not why. It… it's because mama's not coming with us. She can't cause she's gone."
Sansa took a deep breath as she felt the weight of the little girl's pain. No child as young as that should have had to witness what they all did. It was beyond terrible.
"She always took me to pick apples. I always found the tastiest. Now... we won't do it anymore."
Sansa wrapped her arms around Ashara and held her tightly. "I lost my mother too. And my father and my brother a long time ago. Some very bad people took them from me, from all of us."
Ashara looked up to her, hiccuping from her sobs. "Do you… miss them?"
Sansa nodded. "Everyday."
"Then how come you're not crying too?"
"Because they're never truly gone. They'll always be a part of me, just like your mother is always a part of you. As long as you believe in that, they'll always live on in our memories, our dreams, and through us." She wiped her thumb across Ashara's soft cheeks, removing the streaks of tears that remained. "It's okay," she whispered.
First, they rejoined the boys then went to the Great Hall were Edric and Sarella were. The two of them were at a table with documents and raven scrolls they were going over. Sarella noticed them since she was sitting on the furthest side of the table. "Lord Stark, Lady Sansa," Sarella greeted.
Edric turned his body and smiled when he saw his two children. "My lord and lady." he greeted.
"Lady Martell, Lord Dayne, we received news from the south and will be announcing it now to the people. Would you care to join us?"
Edric nodded. "Absolutely." He and Sarella got out of their seats and Edric held out his hand for one of his children. Gerold was the one who let go of Sansa and joined his papa but Ashara remained to hold onto her.
Together, they all walked outside to the balconies. Both soldiers and common folk had gathered around. Sansa stood forward and gave them the news. "Winter came for Cersei Lannister, House Targaryen reigns once again. We are victorious."
The people rejoiced to hear the news. Many of them began to hug one another, even the Wildlings took joy in the news.
One of the soldiers shouted for joy at the top of his lungs. "The war is over!" The people cheered with him.
Sansa smiled at the joy of her people. "Tonight, there will be ale and wine for all as a gift of celebration!" She announced. Many of the common folk grew happier at the sound of that. If their food stores were kind to them, she would have had a feast thrown. Perhaps she would arrange one when the first flowers of spring bloomed.
Sansa turned to Edric and saw him bouncing his son his arms. Gerold laughed in joy with his father.
As evening quickly approached, the Great Hall was set up to house as many as possible. Meat and drink were brought and music began to play out. Some of the smallfolk were dancing with each other while others engaged in drinking contests. There was much laughter and a great many toasts held for those that made all of this possible.
Despite the celebration, Sansa kept herself from partaking of any ale and wine. She had to excuse herself twice to vomit after the smells of the meats made her sick to her very core. But she still shared in the company of friends and laughed with them. She got embarrassed when Tyene told many about their kiss after she escaped King's Landing, but Sarella was kind enough to share an equally embarrassing story of her half-sister involving a Dornish treat and horse dung.
One of the musicians, a lute player, had started singing a new song as he plucked the strings of his lute. It was about two dragons, one among wolves and crows and the other among horses and harpies. While one battled in the ice, the other battled in the fire. When winter came, they stood together and conquered the cold and lifted the sun to rise.
It needed a little bit of work, but it had the potential to be a song to rival the Rains of Castamere given how much resentment there remained for the Lannisters.
"Willa!" A girl's voice yelled over the noise of laughing.
Sansa turned her attention and saw Rickon sitting with his friend Johnna. Her cheek was covered in what might've been pudding. Johnna was looking over to her sister who had a spoon in her hand fresh from flinging the food.
Willa was giggling with a girl next to her. They continued to tease Johnna as she chased after them in the Great Hall. Rickon laughed as he and his friend Rugory sat and watched.
All the excitement began to be a bit too much. Sansa decided to go outside for a breath of cold air to freshen her mind and get out of the smell. She took to the battlements and gazed out to the fields all around as the sun was on the eve of setting. The huts the wildlings built to house the armies for the war against the dead now housed many of the refugees that needed proper shelter and care. It looked like a city almost. Perhaps it should become just that in a few years.
But her eyes were mostly fixed on the sky. There wasn't a cloud to be seen in any direction and the sun was nearly finished setting. She couldn't recall when it had felt so clear before. So this was what peace was like.
She heard the faint of faint footsteps approaching and was joined by Edric soon after. He stood by and looked outwards with her. "Before winter set in, I never thought that House Targaryen would return to become the reigning power of Westeros, let alone that I would be fighting for them. So many years fighting. It will be interesting to see what a few of them will be like with peace."
She turned to face him and saw that he was just as calmly happy as she was. "A part of me still wonders how long it will last until the next one starts. Will we ever grow out of war?"
He shrugged as he stood next to her. "Unfortunately it's a part of us. The best we can do is to make sure it's waged for a damn good reason." He looked out to the view and let there be a still silence between them.
Sansa felt that the time was now. He needed to know. "Edric, there's something you should know." Her smile died, but she didn't feel afraid to tell him anymore. "I'm with child… your child…"
Edric's body winced before his head perked up at her, eyes widened. His shock was hard to read. Sansa couldn't tell if he was worried or just plain surprised. "Are you sure?"
She nodded in response. "I want you to know that it's not your fault. So much happened, I forgot to take precautions. It just slipped from me."
Edric's face went firm. "What do you want to do?"
Sansa didn't notice when her hand smoothed over her belly. "I'm going to give birth to it, nurture it, watch it grow and be a mother to it." She looked at him calmly. "What do you want to do?" She asked back.
Edric heaved out a great breath and leaned his elbows on the stone. "I'm sorry… I'm so sorry that I… I'll not let your honor be sullied for this, I-"
Sansa placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping his words. "I don't mean what does duty and honor demand, I mean what do YOU want to do."
He took a minute to gather his thoughts. "My lady-"
"Sansa, just Sansa for right now, please."
"Sansa… while Dorne takes lightly to bastards, the rest of the kingdoms don't. I don't want you looked down on for this." He stood up as straight as he could. "I will do what I can, and I'll start by asking for your-"
"Stop." Sansa interrupted, knowing full well what he was about to ask.
"But Sansa-"
"Edric, it's alright." She said. "I don't care what the rest of the damn world will think of my child as. A stain on my honor, a sully of my value, they can choke on goat shit. This child was born out of love, not lust or desire." She took his hands in hers and had the bravery to smile at him. "I'm in love you, Edric Dayne. But If I were to marry you, it has to be for the same reason. Not because it's a duty or the honorable thing."
He looked disappointed. Not like a parent would when their child did something naughty, but more… heartbroken. "I want that as well." His hold tightened ever so slightly.
Sansa slipped her hands out of Edric's. "But right now, what you need to do is go home. Rebuild what you've lost. Take care of your family. They need you a great deal more."
He nodded at her and was gladdened by her words. "Just promise me one thing," Edric told her with a hint of a smile. "Make sure I know when you are close to giving birth. I've never missed any of my children entering the world and don't plan to."
As night fell, the festivities died down and some took to sleep while others took to the company to their beds. Sansa was not one of these many and preferred it to be alone tonight. Luckily the echoes of passion were quieter than a whispering mouse.
With her furs wrapped around her in a lovely warmth, she looked up to the ceiling above. For the first time in a long time, she didn't picture the deaths of those she lost. She pictured them at peace and avenged.
As Sansa laid in her bed, she rested her hand on her stomach, hoping that her child would grow strong within her. Sleep weighed on her eyes and she felt the pull rest.
Personally, I think Sansa is very worthy to be Queen in the North, but the way it played out in the show made it terrible. She just became another Littlefinger and the real stain on Ned Stark's honor. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed how this played out. Next Chapter will be Jon's and then after that, the last chapter before the Epilogue will be Arya's.
