Next chapter done! Woot-woot! Yeah, welcome to the aftermath of the Uchiha Massacre. But first, reviews.
Konslov – Thank you, thank you, thank you! It's really great to hear that! I'm always worried about writing more intense scenes since I know what I want to get across but without a beta or anything, I have no clue if anyone actually gets what I'm saying.
Guest – Actually, I've thought the same thing for ages! Like, I could maybe believe, maybe, that since everything was super tense between the village and the Uchiha that no one was staying at a friend's house that night, particularly since the Uchiha were planning a coup de'tat so they probably wanted as little interaction between their people and the village as possible but were none of the Uchiha on missions or anything? Or even training late in one of their dozens of training ground? And when the Uchiha started being killed, no one was able to run and tell anyone else? That's why I have this sort of headcanon that there are actually Uchiha still around, but like scattered and in hiding, kind of like the Uzumaki survivors. There's probably a lot less considering the Uzumaki were a village and the Uchiha a clan within a village but that's what I like to think. Anyway, ending my rambling. As for those questions, well, we'll see ;3
Ok! Now we can plunge right into how Kaida has way too many problems and is currently questioning her very existence in this world, let's go!
~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~
I was 8 years and 3 months old.
How sad is that?
I was 8 years and 3 months old when I became an orphan.
That's the kind of world this is.
Natsumi had welcomed me into her home the moment I'd shown up with packed bags and a grim expression. She'd taken one look ("everyone has something") and smiled, ushering me inside.
"My dad's on a mission," she chirped, taking my bags from me and placing them to the side for now. "He'll be gone for a while so stay as long as you want. We can have a super-mega-extra-long sleepover party!"
She cheered and slapped my back in that way she always did - really goddamn hard. I squeaked in pain and managed a small smile in response.
"Uh, sounds great," I agreed hesitantly. It could be fun, depending on if I could survive her for long enough.
Some people might've thought that her excitement, her sudden bubbly manner at having a sleepover, was somewhat rude considering I was obviously going through something. I found it refreshing, a good distraction.
("Everyone has something," mum once told me. "If she is your friend, you don't need to know what that something is. You just need to be there for her.")
"Thank you," I said suddenly.
She didn't respond with words, only a wide smile. (Unbreakable)
Natsumi's older sister was completely different from Natsu. She'd come home later that night to find Natsu and me curled up on the couch, whispering mischievously to each other as we planned out various new pranks to try out.
"Nee-chan!" Natsu had squealed the moment the door creaked open and her sister stepped through.
"Imouto," the girl had greeted, almost tiredly. One could tell pretty easily that she'd had a long day. "You're still up? And who's your friend here?"
I silently surveyed the girl while Natsu introduced up. She and Natsu were definitely related. While she was a few years older than Natsu, she shared her messy, strawberry blonde curls and rosy cheeks. Her eyes, however, were a soft mint green.
I quickly learned that Noguchi Asami was the polar opposite of her sister in terms of personality. Where Natsu was rash, loud and somewhat violent, Asami was friendly, kind and welcoming. She had a very motherly aura about her and I found myself relaxing more in her presence.
I could see why Natsu adored her so much.
"Stay as long as you like," Asami told me, accompanying her words with a delicate smile, echoing Natsu's words after she grasped the situation. I hadn't told them much. Only that things were a bit tense at home and my mother wanted me to spend a few days at a friend's.
I knew instantly that Asami understood exactly how tense by the look in her eyes. She knew of the atmosphere between the Uchiha and the village. I don't think Natsu quite understood. The angels that they were though, neither of them commented on it.
"Come on," Natsu called, taking my wrist firmly and dragging me deeper into her apartment. "I'll show you where the toilets and shit are and where you can sleep. Also, you're not taking my bed."
~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~
I had forgotten the exact date of the Uchiha Massacre. Maybe I'd known it once but I'd long since forgotten it.
I knew it now. Or at least, the date of when it happened in my timeline.
(An anomaly. A glitch. You're not supposed to be here.)
In my timeline, it happened on July the 21st, late at night. I thought there would be a big commotion. Some big spectacle, a huge life-or-death showdown between Itachi and me where I, as a reincarnated spirit, say a bunch of mysterious, foreboding words foreshadowing his fate before he finally ends me.
Perhaps this 8-year-old brain does affect me more than I realised. In hindsight, it was pretty stupid. In reality, it would've been quick, fast. Itachi was skilled and a pacifist at heart. He would've made it painless. I might not have even known he was there until I was in the afterlife.
It wasn't the worst way to go.
But no.
I'd woken up on July the 22nd, sprawled across the futon Natsu had laid out for me on the floor by her bed. I had looked up and wondered drowsily where Natsumi had gone. Her bed was empty.
The thought was enough to make me get up and wander into the kitchen. Maybe Asami made breakfast. I wouldn't put it past Natsu to have heard the call of food and ditch me to go eat. More for her after all.
You know that awful feeling you get when you walk into a room and the people stop talking and look at you? That mixture of dread and anxiety as you realise, yeah, they are definitely talking about me.
I really didn't need that feeling but I entered the kitchen and Natsu and Asami both halted their conversation to stare at me. Asami was unreadable. She was already a ninja, after all, and had been for little while now. She hid her emotions well.
Natsu looked stressed though, like she didn't quite know how to proceed. It stopped me in my tracks because, shit, I've never seen that expression on Natsu before. Her jaw was set but her eyes really struggled to meet mine.
Then Asami's eyes started to well up and something heavy dropped in my gut.
It took me a moment. I was slow, but not stupid.
Asami reached out for me, then hesitated. She had only met me last night. She didn't know how to comfort me.
I let out this noise in response, a odd, sort of pained gurgle as I stepped back.
Natsu didn't like hugs. But that morning, she greeted me with one as I let out a small, pathetic wail and sunk to my knees.
I knew it was coming, I'd always known, but it hurt all the same.
~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~
I was ashamed to admit to myself that it wasn't the fact that they were dead that really hurt. It was the fact that I was still alive.
Survivor's guilt is a powerful thing. I'd felt it before, when I left my first life behind, when I realised that I got a second chance that my family, my friends probably didn't get. I felt it now.
I wasn't even supposed to exist in the first place, how was I the one to survive? Cruel irony, indeed.
The next few days were a blur.
I never saw my mother's body. Apparently, the Uchiha tradition is to cremate their dead. Less chance of their eyes being taken and studied, I guess. The compound was cleared of corpses and scrubbed clean of blood where possible.
I stayed in Natsumi's apartment and thought about my second mother.
Did I love her enough in the end? I wondered. Did I make her proud?
Her mother never talked much about her child, others said, and when her husband died, she talked far less about anything. She barely interacted with her own sister after clashing so often with her sister's husband. Kaida was antisocial too, rarely interacted with other children besides that Noguchi girl. Itachi likely never knew she existed. A mistake, but a possible one, even for a genius.
I never responded to the theories.
They were just using me as an excuse. They'd placed Itachi on a pedestal, made him more than a human. Now they sought to use me, Itachi's seemingly first real mistake, to humanise him. Because they had to humanise him before they could demonise him and I wasn't interested in any of that.
Itachi likely never knew she existed.
But he did.
I'd walked home from school with him and his little brother twice.
Itachi had made many mistakes. He'd worked for that monster, he couldn't save his best friend and he'd ruined really any chance of his brother having a properly positively stable mental health but this? This was not his mistake.
Why am I here?
~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~
It takes four days for me to muster the courage to finally visit Sasuke.
He's still unconscious, I was warned, he's been through a lot.
I stood in the hospital lobby, hesitating.
Would he be angry?
Sasuke had hated me from day one. I'd only met him twice but that much was evident. Would he be angry that, of all the Uchiha, I was the one standing here right now? That it was only because I wasn't there that I survived? It was silly to worry about this now, he wasn't even awake to see me let alone get angry but some irrational voice inside me said this was it. If I visit him, no going back.
Back from what, who the hell knows... I puffed my cheeks out determinedly and steeled myself, heading straight for the front counter. I was being stupid and I couldn't afford to do that anymore. I couldn't afford to be slow.
"Excuse me," I called, pushing up on my tip-toes to see over the counter. The lady behind it paused and glanced at me. Immediately she plastered on a smile.
"Yes? Can I help you?" She asked in that sickly sweet voice adults sometimes use to talk to children.
"Uh, do you know which room Uchiha Sasuke is in?" I inquired. "Is he allowed visitors?"
Her mouth opened automatically to answer before she faltered. "W-Wait, you wouldn't be the new Uchiha clan head, would you?"
I blinked. I blanched.
"The what?"
"Are you Uchiha Kaida?" The receptionist frowned.
"Uhh, yeah," I answered slowly. Holy shit, did she just say Clan Head?
"I see," the receptionist said, a grim look settling on her face. "Room 341, on the third floor. If you get lost, don't hesitate to ask for help."
"Right," I nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, um, thanks. For that. Yeah."
Clan Head?!
"So young..." I heard her murmur under her breath as I split away from the counter and headed for the third floor.
Don't think about it now, I told myself. Deal with it later. Deal with this now and that later.
I found the room easily enough and slipped inside. There was no one else visiting. (What did you expect? He doesn't have anyone else)
Carefully, I took a seat in the large armchair in the corner, my eyes glued to his frame.
He seemed so... fragile.
Mentally comparing the image of him now with my memories (loudmouth brat, strong glare), I couldn't quite equate the two. Pale skin, shallow breaths, bags beneath his eyes. In that instant, he was so small.
I pursed my lips.
No, he wasn't small. He was alone. Just like me.
Why am I here?
Would he ask the same question? Would he feel as lost as I did when he wakes up?
Can I leave him alone after knowing that feeling?
It was a stupid question. Of course, I couldn't. If I could, I wouldn't be here.
If I visited him, there was no going back. There was no escaping the consequences of what I did from now on. I could leave. I could run away or I could let myself die and canon would be safe but I also knew that I would be leaving this boy, this tiny, pale, fragile child, alone.
Or I could stay.
Nope, this is too much, I decided. Sasuke didn't even stir as I leapt to my feet and hurtled out of the room.
~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~
Four months.
That's how many months I was older than Sasuke. Four measly months.
Four months is such a short time, I mused, considering I had about a twenty-two year head start on everyone.
Yet it's those four months that made all the difference.
From what I could gather from the weird, political rambling I keep getting from people, there's a sort of Uchiha clan policy in place for emergencies. The particular statement I focused on was the one that states 'in such a situation that the Clan Head, the Clan Head's spouse and the Clan Heir (Fugaku, Mikoto, Itachi) become ineligible to lead the clan (e.g. dead or defected) then the right to lead falls to the eldest, eligible blood relation (so like a niece or something)'.
My mother was Mikoto's younger sister. That made me the niece of the Clan Head, cousin of the Clan Heir, and those measly four months meant that I was the eldest eligible blood relation. I was, in effect, the Clan Head.
Fuck. My. Life.
Well, legally, I would be Clan Head once I became a genin, and thus became considered an adult in the eyes of the village.
For now, I couldn't enact policies or act as the political representative of my clan and all that other political shit a Clan Head could do but I did have control over all the land, secrets, objects and riches that the Uchiha owned. Not only that, I was considered Sasuke's legal guardian.
People both inside (fucking Danzo) and outside (fucking everyone else) of the village would be vying for either my head, my eyes or just plain manipulation of the new Uchiha Clan Head who has not been trained one ounce in politics. The only people I knew I could really trust were either god knows where or were about eight years old and probably couldn't help me one bit.
Shit, I was not cut out for this.
Pale, fragile, small-
Damn it.
I collapsed back onto my pillow and breathed.
Ok, I need a game plan.
Pale, fragile, small, alone-
If I'm going to stay with Sasuke, if I'm going to be alive with him, then I need to be able to protect us both.
If I'm going to live, then I'm going to have to fight for it.
~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~
I attended a couple of sessions with a random Yamanaka to ensure I don't have any seriously damaging psychological issues (besides the obvious ones) but managed to avoid anymore beyond that.
I really didn't need psychics poking around in my brain.
In my free time, I trained. I trained everything, from taijutsu forms to flexibility to speed to strength to chakra control to stamina, everything. Everything I could remember from my mother's teachings.
Apparently Sasuke woke up from the genjutsu two days ago, just briefly, before quickly falling into a self-induced coma from the stress and trauma. I wasn't there. I was surprised at the sudden self-hatred I felt when I found out (I should've been the first person he saw).
It was quickly crushed by training. (I need to protect us.)
I trained since then. I trained for over thirty hours. I pushed my body to its limits.
I thought of my father, the one from this lifetime, Uchiha Akio. I never saw his body, it was never recovered.
I thought of my mother, the one I had managed to love in the end only to lose, Uchiha Miu. I never saw her body, it was cremated with the rest.
The training post shatters, wooden splinters lodging in my hands, but I don't stop. I move onto the next one.
I thought of my family, the ones I had left behind in the other world. I died first, I never found out what happened to them.
I thought of my friends, they were probably living their lives now. Did they grieve me for long?
I am eight years old and I have lost everything.
I won't lose anymore.
Pain surges in my eyes and I cry out, staggering back as I squeeze them shut. I feel my knees give out under the stress of exhaustion and agony and I fall on my backside.
It burns.
When the pain finally fades, I am left on the ground, something warm running down my cheeks. (Blood? No. Tears. It hurts.)
I don't need a mirror to know what my eyes must look like. Red and black, spinning endlessly.
"Uchiha-san."
I didn't hear them appear until they spoke. Was that a horse mask? Oh, ANBU. Ok.
Right, I think idly. Of course I'd have an ANBU guard watching me. There's a big, fat target on my back.
"What?" I replied, albeit a little bitterly. The pain had faded but it left a soft, unpleasant ache in the back of my eyes. The world suddenly seemed a little too bright and I squinted.
Narrowing in on the steady stream of chakra flowing to my eyes, I cut it off and breathed out as world returned to normal.
"I've been ordered to inform you that Uchiha Sasuke is awake."
I paused. "Ok. Thank you."
The ANBU bowed and made to leave when I cried out, "wait!"
They paused. I squirmed awkwardly.
"Uh, I've been training for way too long," I started sheepishly. "I don't think I can stand up right now. Do you think... you could carry me? To the hospital?"
I didn't need to see past the mask. I could feel his expression shift from bland nothingness to 'really?' in seconds flat. I scowled.
"Of course, Uchiha-san," they spoke smoothly, scooping me up. "Please hold on tight. I wouldn't want to drop you from over five storeys high after all."
"Yeah, s- wait, what?"
~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~
"Crazy son of a-" I screeched as the ANBU finally touched down outside the hospital. Some people looked over at the commotion but, at the sight of the mask, merely chuckled and went on their way.
Horse quickly slapped a hand over my mouth, cutting me off. "My, my, young ladies shouldn't swear like that."
"I'll kill you," I fumed as he let me down.
"Ja ne," is all he said before vanishing. I huffed and smoothed myself down before heading inside. I remembered where Sasuke's room was and headed straight there, pausing outside of the door.
No sound comes from inside.
I slowly pushed the door open, thanking every deity I knew that it didn't creak ominously, and peered inside.
He was awake, in a matter of speaking. Still as pale and small as the last time, but skinnier too. His eyes were glassy and hollow.
Broken.
"Sasuke?" I tried softly. Cautiously edging inside, I let the door click shut behind me.
His head swivelled towards me and a small frown graced his face.
"Who are you?" He muttered.
Huh?
Wait... what?
"Me?" I squeaked, wincing at the pitch my voice just reached in my surprise. "Don't you remember?"
I drifted closer until I was in arms reach. I was finally thankful of this tiny body, small enough that I didn't loom over him or anything.
"You're... that annoying girl..." Sasuke remembered slowly. "You're..."
I stayed still, not moving a muscle, as he carefully reached out and touched my cheek.
"You're alive," he said and the words seemed to bring him back a little. "You're alive."
I smiled sadly and took his hand. "I'm alive."
The hollow look in his eyes vanished, replaced with tears and he sniffled.
"I'm alive."
The dam broke and he cries out, tears and snot running down his face. He cries in the way only broken children can and I reached for him in return.
I climbed onto the bed beside him and we wrapped our arms around each other. He buried his nose in my shirt as he wailed. I cried quietly, letting out only the smallest sniffles as my tears streamed down my face.
We were not family. Not yet. We were the remnants of one. Shattered pieces of a portrait and broken glass. But we were alive. Neither of us knew why but we were.
And I didn't know about him, but I found crying with someone far more comforting than crying alone.
We were the remnants of a family but we could make do.
~{}~{}~{}~{}~{}~
Boom. I'm starting to realise that I like torturing my characters wayyy too much. Like, I love them, but they need to feel pain for me to write this thing. Like, they're completely innocent and whatnot but I do need to break them so I can get in some nice character development, you know? Anyway.
Also, some shameless self-advertising! I know at some I mentioned a Pokémon fic I was going to publish that I never ended up publishing (my bad) but there were a few complication with that storyline so I'm putting that on hold for now. I do, however, have two other stories I have published, both OC-inserts. One is a Magi fic called White Feathers, Black Wings and it's probably about the same level of seriousness as this. The other is a Fairy Tail fic called Home Sweet Home that I just published which is probably going to be the most vanilla of my stories so far. So, if you like either Magi or Fairy Tail and don't think my writing is complete shit, pretty please read them and tell me what you think?
Ok, until next time,
- Dragon
