Carlos was in the club at Lux playing the piano softly. Dude was sitting at his feet. Carlos had woken up to loud noises coming from the penthouse and he realized that his dad and Chloe were having "sexy times" so he took Dude downstairs to give them some space. He also knew that his dad had delayed his ascension to Heaven again, thanks to his spying last night. He was happy that his dad was staying on Earth longer, but he also felt worried that something bad would happen if his dad continued to delay claiming the throne of Heaven. He was also thinking about his proposal to Jane. He knew that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Jane, as they are each other's true love, but there was a small part of him that was nervous about it. In reality, he was nervous about his future in general. His future career as a vet, being with Jane and helping her transition to becoming a Fairy Godmother, and even his powers as even though he had much better control of them thanks to training from his dad, he remembered how he lost control when his dad sacrificed himself for Chloe and he almost killed Michael in cold blood. Carlos shivered at the thought and tried to think of positive things. One song came to mind and he started to play it on the piano and sing along,
I close my eyes and I can see
The world that's waiting up for me
That I call my own
Through the dark, through the door
Through where no one's been before
But it feels like home
They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy
They can say, they can say I've lost my mind
I don't care, I don't care, so call me crazy
We can live in a world that we design
'Cause every night I lie in bed
The brightest colors fill my head
A million dreams are keeping me awake
I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it's gonna take
Oh a million dreams for the world we're gonna make
There's a house we can build
Every room inside is filled
With things from far away
The special things I compile
Each one there to make you smile
On a rainy day
They can say, they can say it all sounds crazy
They can say, they can say we've lost our minds
I don't care, I don't care if they call us crazy
Runaway to a world that we design
Every night I lie in bed
The brightest colors fill my head
A million dreams are keeping me awake
I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it's gonna take
Oh a million dreams for the world we're gonna make
However big, however small
Let me be part of it all
Share your dreams with me
You may be right, you may be wrong
But say that you'll bring me along
To the world you see
To the world I close my eyes to see
I close my eyes to see
Every night I lie in bed
The brightest colors fill my head
A million dreams are keeping me awake
A million dreams, a million dreams
I think of what the world could be
A vision of the one I see
A million dreams is all it's gonna take
A million dreams for the world we're gonna make
For the world we're gonna make
Carlos heard someone clapping and he looked up to see Amenadiel standing there. Carlos blushed a little and Amenadiel said, "Well done, nephew. You truly have your father's gift of music." Carlos put the lid on the piano and muttered, "Thank you, Uncle Amenadiel." Amenadiel walked over and saw Dude, "Hello, Dude." Dude stood up and stretched, "Hello, Amenadiel. Here to see Lucifer?" "I am," Amenadiel said. "Today's a big day. He's going to ascend to the throne." "Yeah," Carlos replied. "About that."
Up in the penthouse, Lucifer and Chloe had just ended their sexy times and collapsed onto his bed. The penthouse was in disarray as Chloe had used Amenadiel's necklace for his strength so they could have rougher sex. Chloe panted, "Oh, God." Lucifer smirked, "Not quite yet, but that was something else." "A good something else?" Chloe asked. Lucifer chuckled, "Oh, absolutely. I never thought Amenadiel's rod being used in my sex life would be such a great thing." Chloe replied, "And I never thought that your invulnerability would have such extensive benefits." She was looking at a Lucifer sized hole in part of the wall. Lucifer said, "If I'd known all I had to do was love you, and that the simple act of loving you would make me feel worthy of you, which would mean my body would no longer have to tell my unconscious mind to e vulnerable, allowing us to have no holds barred sex all night long, well, then, I would have done it much sooner." Chloe sighed, "Yes, I agree. And I assume that you also feel worthy of being a loving father to Carlos?" Lucifer nodded, "Yes. I may have missed watching my son grow up, but I will always be there for him. And you. Now, where were we?"
He kissed Chloe while the elevator doors opened and Amenadiel and Carlos walked out, Dude being held by Carlos. "Lucifer!" Amenadiel shouted. Lucifer shouted back, "Would it kill you to knock?" "Your door is an elevator!" Amenadiel shouted. "And your son invited me up." Lucifer groaned, "Deary me." He got up out of bed, which made Carlos close his eyes and he covered Dude's eyes, who said, "Hey!" "Dude," Carlos shushed." Lucifer grabbed a robe and walked down to Amenadiel and Carlos, "Son, you can open your eyes." Carlos opened his eyes and looked around, "Dad, what the hell did you and Chloe do? This place is a mess." Lucifer chuckled, "Just having some fun." Chloe secretly got her robe on while everyone else was distracted. Carlos sighed as he put Dude down and closed his eyes and raised his hands in the air. Using his telekinesis and his illusion ring, he used his powers to slowly return the room to its normal state. Chloe looked around in awe and Amenadiel and Lucifer were shocked. Once Carlos was done, he opened his eyes and said, "Much better. Even fixed that hole in the wall." "Your powers surely have grown, my son," Lucifer commented.
He turned to Amenadiel, "So, how it's hanging, big guy?" As he turned, his robe fell open and Carlos closed his eyes and raised his hand. The ties to Lucifer's robe lifted up to Lucifer's eye level and Lucifer said, "Oh, sorry. Thank you, Carlos." He tied his robe shut as Amenadiel said, "Your return to Heaven has been requested." Lucifer chuckled, "Oh, the more things change." Amenadiel sighed, "You said this was the morning you would ascend. But my nephew informed me that you have changed those plans and you are here, in bed, scantily clad. Talk about things not changing? It's time, Lucy. Time for you to assume your place on Father's throne."
Chloe walked down in her robe, "Amenadiel, what's the rush?" "Oh," Lucifer said. "What she said." Lucifer walked over to the bar as Amenadiel sighed, "The world needs a God." Carlos saw Amenadiel's point as valid as Chloe replied, "Yeah, but your dad was on Earth for, what, a few months, and everything was fine." Amenadiel countered, "Father may not have been in Heaven, but he was still God." Chloe retorted, "And Lucifer's been here for months as well. And look, is the universe collapsing? Are frogs falling from the sky?" "Can that happen?" Dude asked. Amenadiel sighed, "No. Not that we know of." Chloe continued as she walked over to the bar with Lucifer, "And, if the universe were to fall apart, don't you think you, of all angels, would know first?" Amenadiel sighed, "I suppose you're right. Still, what is he waiting for?" "That is a valid question," Carlos mumbled. Chloe shrugged, "Well, becoming God is a big job. Maybe he doesn't wanna go in half-cocked." "I should definitely be full-cocked," Lucifer added. "Dad, gross," Carlos said. Amenadiel sighed, "Chloe, it's a little too late to say he's not ready. We fought a war for him six months ago. Angels, demons, even fairy tale people from Carlos' world." Chloe replied, "Amenadiel. Have a little faith in your brother. He'll get there. He always does. Right Lucifer?" Lucifer said, "Oh, yes. Absolutely. Don't worry, I know just what I need to do." Carlos sighed, "Why do I have a bad feeling about this?"
Later, Lucifer, along with Carlos and Dude, went to Linda's office and sat on her couch, "I need you to tell me what to do." "Knew it," Carlos muttered as he stood near the door. "Knew what?" Dude asked but Carlos shushed him. Linda asked, "You need me to tell you what to do to be God?" Lucifer nodded, "Exactly. Well, you helped me with my troubles being the Devil. Why should the reverse be any different." Linda sighed, "I thought I wasn't your therapist anymore. Just for Carlos." Lucifer retorted, "And look at what's happened. The world has no God. Clearly I belong on this couch." Carlos sighed, "Aunt Linda, you know my dad. Just go with it." Linda asked, "OK, so what is the problem?" Lucifer explained, "Well, I have seven billions problems and only love one. Make that two actually." Linda was confused, "What?" "Yeah," Carlos agreed. "I'm confused too." Lucifer continued, "Well, in order to be God, apparently, I need to care about all the humans on the planet. An impossible feat, seeing as I find a large majority of the human race to be insufferable." Carlos realized, "Wait, you are only thinking about this because of what Ella told you last night, aren't you?"
Lucifer sighed, "Yes, which I see that you used that mirror of yours last night a little too much, but that's not the point right now. OK, back to what I was saying. Then I was thinking, Doctor, you help people." Linda replied, "I'd like to think I do, yes." Lucifer said, "And I've seen some of your patients. I mean, talk about mouth breathers. So how is it possible that you're able to care about all of them?" Linda answered, "Well, being a good therapist is about taking your own opinions out of the equation. Listening without bias. Keeping personal feelings to yourself." Lucifer realized, "Oh, I think I understand." "Probably not," Linda replied. "Definitely not," Carlos agreed. "You don't care about your patients at all," Lucifer said. "That's definitely not what I was saying," Linda replied. "Clearly not at all," Carlos agreed. Lucifer said, "So what you're saying is, I need to be able to help people that I don't care about. If I prove I can do that, then I'll prove I can be God." Dude looked up at Carlos, "Your dad really didn't get it, did he?" Carlos shook his head as Lucifer stood up and went to the door and Linda said, "Well, I suppose you've had worse ideas." Lucifer opened the door, "Yes, thank you, Doctor. You know, you really do have a very special way of helping me. Amazing. Come alone Carlos, Dude." Lucifer walked out of the office as Carlos said to Linda, "I'll keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid." He walked out along with Dude and shut the door. Linda sighed, "I suppose I do."
Over at a small movie theater in LA, Ella was working on a new case looking at pictures of the new victim. Carol walked over to where she was and Ella said, "Oh. Good morning." Carol chuckled, "Even better now. I mean, you know, because of you, not the dead body." Ella nodded, "Oh. Thanks, it's, um, it's good to see you too." Carol noted, "Um, I just noticed they were showing Supercop here. I love that movie." Ella chuckled, "Oh my gosh. So do I." "Really?" Carol asked. "Yeah," Ella replied. "I mean, Jackie Chan is amazing. But personally, I love Michelle Yeoh." Carol agreed, "Yeah, she steals the whole thing." "Right?" Ella asked. "She's such a badass. She just comes out of nowhere. Remember that part where she takes chopsticks and uses them as weapons?" Carol replied, "She's like whoosh, swoom. Then Jackie Chan throws a bunch of them. And then he's like "I scared them away."" Ella chuckled, "Yeah. It's funny, I actually, um, started taking karate lessons because of her." "Really?" Carol asked. Ella nodded, "I mean, I got along way to go before I reach Michelle Yeah level, but, oh, it's just so fun, you know, to lean all the moves. And then you got kicks. Dah! Then you're like pow!" She demonstrated some moves and Carol said, "Oh, easy. Easy now!" Ella dropped her bag and Carol dropped to get it, "It's OK. I got it." "Butterfingers," Ella said as she dropped to grab the bag. She then got flashbacks of Pete, and that scared her. Carol then said, "Um, you know, if they're showing this thing all week, we should…" "Murder!" Ella shouted. "What?" Carol asked. Ella stuttered, "I….I mean…a dead body. Over there." Ella then sped walked over to the victim and Carol sighed, "Yeah."
He followed her as Ella explained, "So, uh, victim is a John Doe, uh, no hits on prints, no wallet, just a burner phone with one number on it." "Any witnesses?" Carol asked. Ella shook her head, "Nope. Body was called in anonymously." Carol nodded, "Oh. All right. Uh, I'll put a trace on the number. I'll grab whatever footage I can from CCTV cameras in the area. And what was the cause of death again?" Ella reached down and pulled off the tarp, to reveal the body had a stiletto sticking out of his neck, "Well, must have been one angry woman." "Or Michelle Yeoh working on her moves," Carol chuckled. Ella chuckled, "Right, yeah, good one."
Ella turned around to see Lucifer walking toward her, "Oh, hey, Lucifer…." Lucifer pushed past her, "Out of my way, Miss Lopez, I care about you." Ella was confused and turned to see Carlos, without Dude as Carlos made Lucifer stop by Lux to drop Dude off at the guest suite, walk up to her and say, "Sorry, Ella. My dad's up to one of this weird plans again." Ella was confused and Carlos sighed, "It's complicated. Don't ask." Lucifer walked up to Carol, "But you, I don't care about you at all. And that is why I'm going to help you." Carol looked back to Ella, who shrugged, and Carlos, who said, "Just go with it."
They eventually went back to LAPD and Carol sat down at his desk to go over evidence. Lucifer brought over a cup of coffee, "Personal barista at your service." Carol moved the mug aside, "Don't drink coffee." Lucifer smirked, "Ooh, a man after my own heart." He poured the coffee out in a trash can and was about to pull out his flask of whiskey, when Carlos ran over and stopped him, "OK, Dad. Let's not do that." "I agree," Carol added. "Look, I appreciate what you're trying to do here, whatever that is that I'm just going with, but I don't need your help." Lucifer sighed, "Well, unfortunately for both of us, I need you to need my help, so, come on, let me be the answer to your prayers." Carol replied, "I promise you, I am all good."
Lucifer sighed, "I didn't wanna have to do this, but one last time before I'm God. Tell me, what is it that you truly desire." Carlos shook his head and sighed. But Carol's answer surprised both of them, "Really. I'm all good." "That's a new response," Carlos commented. "Oh," Lucifer said. "Did not have you as the complex type. But come on, there must be something in there, huh?" Lucifer's stare made Carol finally reveal, "I want someone I can spend the rest of my life with.
Someone who loves me for who I am. Someone I can wake up next to in the morning and just totally connect with." Lucifer smirked, "Oh, I see. You want sex. Well, you are in luck, my friend, because you are looking at a literal sex god. One determined to get you laid." Before Carol could say anything, Carlos interrupted, "Dad, that's not at all what he said. What he truly desires is true love. Like what you and Chloe have. Heck, what Jane and I have. So back off the whole sex god thing." Lucifer backed away while Carol said, "I agree. I don't think I need your help to find the right person. Besides, if I've gone this long…." Lucifer wanted to say something, but he was still under Carlos' command of backing off on this. But he was still curious so he asked, "How long has it been?" Carol sighed, "14, maybe 15 months." Lucifer was aghast, "15 months? How can you even walk properly? Yeah, thank future me I'm here. We need to remedy this situation immediately." "Dad," Carlos growled. "Back off!" Lucifer did just that.
Carol sighed, "I do not understand what is happening right now, but I can tell you this, I don't need you help to have sex." Unfortunately Ella heard that as she was walking up to Carol, "Uh, I could just come back later." She turned to walk away, but Carol said, "Um, no, Ella, we were just, uh, talk…Uh, I'm sorry. What's up?" Ella replied, "Um, well, we got the CCTV footage back from the crime scene. Uh, the actual murder took place out of frame, but we did get this." She held out her tablet and showed everyone there a video of a woman carrying bags. "Is she carrying…" Carol asked before Ella interrupted, "Bags. And the names on those bags are all brand names of shoes." "Well, the running is very suspicious," Carlos added. Carol nodded, "Yeah, especially because the COD was a stiletto to the neck. Can we run the plates?" "Already done," Ella replied. "Kate Jacobs. And guess what. Her phone number matches the one int eh victim's burner." Carol said, "OK. Looks like I got a date with the shoe lady. Not a date. Uh, it is a…it's….I have an interrogation with the shoe lady. Not a date!" Ella walked away as Carlos muttered, "Nice one." Lucifer chuckled, "A date with the shoe lady? Maybe she''l give you the horn. Shoe horn." Carol sighed, "Thank you, Lucifer. So much. Now, if you and Carlos please excuse me, like I said, I do not need your help."
Ella, meanwhile, had run all the way to Chloe's house and entered it saying, "I need your help." She then started to pace as Chloe, who was folding laundry, said, "Oh, yeah. Come in. I'm going a little stir crazy, actually. It's taking a while for Lucifer to start running the family business. And he wants to make sure he spends enough time with Carlos before Carlos starts college. It's fine. I trust him. Anyhow, what's up?" Ella explained, "Uh, it's that guy. Carol. You know, Detective Corbett. It's just, uh, it's just that, you know, well, he's nice. OK? Maybe a little too nice. And suspiciously normal, and it's just, I mean, he's just too good to be true." Chloe smirked, "You like him. Aw." Ella shook her head, "No, no, no aw. OK. I mean, I love kung fu movies, OK? And apparently he loves kung fu movies too, but I mean, he's clearly lying to manipulate me, right? I mean, what are the chances we both like the same thing?" Chloe thought about it, "Um, well, you pretty much like everything, Ella, so pretty high."
Ella continued, "OK, fine, but he's also just super cute and insanely polite, says all the right things, and he picked up my bag. Who does that?" Chloe realized, "He reminds you of Pete, huh?" Ella sighed, "It's just really hard to trust someone after your last BF was an SK. Serial killer." Chloe replied, "Well, Carol isn't a serial killer. And he was one of Dan's best friends." "Yeah," Ella retorted. "But you didn't know that Pete was a serial killer and neither did Dan. Only Carlos seemed to sense something was off about him based on the insane research he did." Chloe sighed, "Right. Good point. Well, what would help?" Ella replied, "I don't know. Knowing every single thing about him." Chloe realized, "You're saying you wanna investigate?" Ella smirked, "What? You mean, like, stalk him on Facebook or see if he's on Instagram?" Chloe shook her head, "No. I'm thinking more along the lines of the precinct personnel files." Ella stepped back, "Oh. I don't know about that. I mean…I just…Maybe I just overreacted." Chloe stopped her, "No. It's good to do a little recon. You have to know what you're getting into. Come on."
Back at LAPD, Carol had brought in Kate Jacobs for questioning. She immediately said, "I didn't kill him. I sell designer accessories. He was my best client." "OK," Carol replied. "So if you didn't kill him, why did you run from the scene of the crime?" Kate explained, "Well, we were supposed to bee meeting up for a sale, but when I got there, I found him dead. I panicked. I mean, I still called it in, though."
Suddenly Lucifer's voice came out of the speakers from behind the two way mirror, "What a stand up citizen, wouldn't you agree, Detective Corbett?" "Who is that?" Kate asked. "That's nobody," Carol lied. "Please ignore him. So, if the victim was one of your best clients, why didn't you wait for the police to arrive? I mean, unless your goods were stolen." Kate replied, "I can neither confirm nor deny that." Lucifer's voice came on again, "What you cannot deny is the chemistry between you two." Kate laughed, "Seriously, who is that?" "This is the voice of God," Lucifer replied. Carol turned around and stared at the mirror, "Lucifer, please get out of there." Lucifer's voice came on, "I'm here for you, so as you wish."
Carol turned back around, "OK, um…" Lucifer suddenly came into the room, "Lucifer, that was not an invitation for you to come in here. Leave, please. And where is your son?" Lucifer ignored the question and said, "Assertive yet polite. An attractive combo, wouldn't you say?" Carol sighed, "I am so sorry about this." Kate nodded as Lucifer continued, "Also thoughtful and sensitive. It makes you wanna jump his bones, doesn't it?" Kate was confused, "What is going on here?" Lucifer answered, "I am here to facilitate a love connection. I know you two have so much in common. Kate, you are a criminal, and Carol here catches criminals. So, see? Perfect." Carol replied, "She is a person of interest in a murder investigation." "So you're saying you're interested?" Lucifer asked.
Suddenly Carlos burst into the room, "Dad, seriously? I leave you alone for five minutes. Unbelievably. Detective Corbett, I am so sorry for my father's actions. Dad, stop trying to set him up with this murder suspect." Lucifer sighed as he obeyed Carlos' command and Kate said, "No, whoa! Wait, I'm not still in trouble, am I?" Carol replied, "Well, that depends, Miss Jacobs. do you have any information that could be useful to us? Maybe the name of the victim, for starters." Carlos added a command, "Tell the truth, lady."
Kate obeyed and said, "I have his first name. Fred. I don't ask a lot of my clients, just that they pay in cash." "Of course," Carol replied. "Can you think of anything else?" Kate said, "Oh, well, Fred was always using this woman Fiona shoes. But lately I've been hearing about another woman. In fact, I actually heard them arguing on the phone. And she sounds jealous." Carol guessed, "Hmm. Messy love triangle, speaks to a motive. Do you know the other woman's name, by any chance?" "Busty," Kate revealed. "It's a weird name, right? That's why I remember it." Lucifer realized, "Wait. I know a drag queen named Busty who performs at Hamburger Mary's. Busty Bazoongas. There can't be two of those. Pun intended." Carlos sighed, "You have random connections, Dad." Carol said, "OK, well, it fits with high end accessories, and it is the only lead we have. Miss Jacobs, you are free to go, as long as your alibi checks out, of course." He stood up and opened the door for her.
Kate stood up and started to walk out when Carlos said, "One more thing, miss. That white blouse with black spots you have on, along with the rest of your look, makes you look a little Cruella De Vil. Just wanted to let you know." Kate smirked, "Thanks," and walked out. Carlos muttered, "It wasn't a complement." Carol said to Lucifer, "See? You helped me, buddy. So, thank you and goodbye." Carol walked out as Lucifer said, "You are welcome." Lucifer then frowned and Carlos asked, "What's wrong?" "I don't feel any different," Lucifer revealed.
Meanwhile, Chloe and Ella were at LAPD as well, but trying to get into the caged room with all the personnel files. But the cop on duty, Marty, wasn't letting them in. Chloe begged, "Come on, Marty, just try my badge one more time." Marty said, "Miss Decker, you are no longer a detective. And Lopez, you don't have access. Sorry, ladies, rules are rules." A female cop stood in the doorway, "Marty, artisan doughnut truck's here." Marty stood up quickly and walked out. Chloe picked up her badge and saw the keys, but Marty came back and took them before he left again. Ella sighed, "Well, we tried. You know, he's right. I mean, rules are rules, and they're there for a reason, but, you know, maybe it's for the best. Because, who knows?" While Ella was talking, Chloe secretly got out Amenadiel's necklace and walked over to the door and when Ella was not looking, unlocked the door and slid it up, "Ella, look. The lock, it's just broken. Come on." She walked in and Ella, stunned, walked in behind her.
Carol drove over to Hamburger Mary's and went inside. He walked up to the drag queen at the front, who said, "Well, aren't you an all-American slice of pie! Table for one, hopefully?" Carol replied, "Unfortunately not. I am Detective Carol Corbett, LAPD. I'm actually here to ask a couple of questions. Um, could you tell me where a Miss Busty Bazoongas would be?" The drag queen answered, "Yeah, she's about to go on. She's just running a slosh behind. Poor thing. She barely had time to tuck. Our regular headliner didn't bother to show tonight. Frickin' Fiona." Carol asked, "So Fiona works here too? Would you say that Fiona and Busty have a hostile relationship at all?" The drag queen chuckled, "Fiona Fierce! She's literally hostile with everyone. Let me ask you something though. Why are all detectives called dicks?"
"Uh, you're a detective?" Carol turned to see a man standing there. Carol nodded, "Yes." The man introduced himself, "Hi. I'm the club's manager, Niles. Can I help you?" Niles gestured Carol to follow him and Carol did while saying, "So sorry to bother you. I am investigating the murder of a man named Fred." "What?" Niles asked. "Fiona is dead?" The drag queen walked over. "God, she was a bitch, but she was our bitch." Carol asked, "Wait, Fiona was Fred's drag persona? That means that Busty was actually fighting with Fred right before he died." Niles stopped him, "Wait. You think Brain did this?" "Who's Brian?" Carol asked. Niles answered, "Brian's drag persona is Busty." "The queen taking Fiona's spot," the drag queen added. Carol nodded, "Busty, got it. OK." Niles said, "Excuse me, Detective. I have to go cue up the show." Carol nodded and Niles walked away.
Busty came out of the curtain on the stage, "Hello, hello, hello. Are you ready for an amazing show? All righty, welcome, ladies and gentle ladies! Oh, who am I kidding? I know you're all bitches and whores. Am I right? Now, I want you to clap louder than my cheeks while watching a Ryan Gosling movie during a thunderstorm, because we have a very special performance coming up, one this queen would kill for." The lights went black as Busty continued, "My dear friend joining me on stage puts the "ass" in "classy", just the "tip" in "tipsy", and puts the "hot" in "ooh, hot!" And he loves a tramp." The music started up and Busty started to sing,
Tramp, tramp
Ooh, yeah!
She gets too hungry
For dinner at eight now
She hates the theater
But she never comes late
And Miss Thing never bothers
With the people that she hates
And that's why the lady is a tramp
Suddenly the light shined on the piano to reveal Lucifer sitting on it, who Busty introduced. Carol was shocked and shook his head. Carlos was revealed to be playing the piano and Lucifer started to sing with Busty,
(Lucifer)
She gets massages
She howls, and she moans
Tell Slenderella
Just to leave her alone
She's not so hot
But her shape is her own
That's why, that's why
The lady is a tramp now
(Lucifer and Busty)
She loves the free
Fresh wind in her hair
Life without care
(Busty)
She's broke
(Lucifer)
And that's oke
Hates California
(Busty)
So smoggy and damp
(Lucifer and Busty)
That's why the lady is a tramp now
(Lucifer)
She flew down to London
And left me behind
(Busty)
And I missed the crowning
But I didn't mind
(Lucifer)
She won't play Scarlett
In Gone with the Wine
(Busty)
It's gotta rhyme
(Lucifer and Busty)
That's why the lady is a tramp now
(Busty)
She likes to go rowing
Down on Central Park lake
(Lucifer)
She picks a prize fight
That isn't a fake
(Busty)
Why, she even goes to the opera
And stays wide awake
(Lucifer and Busty)
That's why the lady is a tramp now
(Lucifer)
I like the green grass under my shoes
(Busty)
Now what can I lose….lose
(Lucifer)
She's flat
(Busty)
Oh, that's that
(Lucifer and Busty)
She's all alone when I lower my lamp
(Busty)
That's why the lady
(Lucifer)
That's why the lady
(Lucifer and Busty)
That's why the lady is a tramp
The song ended and the crowd cheered wildly. Busty shouted, "Lucifer Morningstar, ladies and gentlemen! You never know where he's gonna turn up. And also his adorably talented son, Carlos, on piano." Lucifer and Busty bowed to the audience and Carlos stood up and bowed as well. Lucifer winked at Carol, who sighed.
Meanwhile, Ella and Chloe were at Chloe's house looking over Carol's personnel file. Ella said, "It says here Carol was in vice." "Wow," Chloe replied as she read on. "Infiltrated a city-wide meth ring? Takes a special person to pull that off." "Yeah," Ella said. "A liar person." "Shh," Chloe shushed her. "Trixie's sleeping." Ella asked, "But I mean, isn't that what undercover cops do? Run around, pretending to be something they're not? And he did it for three years." "Two years," Chloe corrected. "Looks like he took a year off after vice." "Wait a second," Ella said. "You're saying that after he was a professional liar, he just vanished? Chloe, that's even worse. Who knows what he was doing?" Chloe argued, "Well, working undercover can be extremely stressful. He probably just took some time off to decompress. Cops do it all the time. Ella, I hate to say it, I just don't think there's anything left to investigate here." Ella sighed, "Yeah, you're probably right."
Back at Hamburger Mary's, Lucifer, Carlos, and Carol were backstage in Busty's dressing room. Busty asked, "Well, did you find the killer?" Lucifer sighed, "It seems that you are the main suspect at the moment." "Say what now?" Busty asked. Lucifer turned to Carol, "Look, in Busty's defense, I did hear Fiona was a bit of a bitch." "I heard the same," Carlos added. Busty turned to them, "Yeah, Fiona was a raging ball of a bitch, but she became my mentor. I've always been something of a comedy queen. And lately I've been working on serving more fish." Carol was confused so Carlos explained, "Upping her beauty game." Lucifer was shocked that Carlos knew that. He shrugged, "Hey, there were drag queens too where I grew up."
Busty continued, "Nobody does glamor like Fiona Fierce. She was helping me revamp my entire drag persona. She even gave me this really cute pair of heels." "Oh," Lucifer replied. "From Kate?" Carol asked. Busty nodded as Carol continued, "Kate told us that she heard you and Fiona arguing on the phone." Busty said, "Oh, we argued like trailer trash in a Walmart parking lot on Black Friday. And for good reason. Everybody seems drag as this pinnacle of self-discovery, that once you've found this world, this life, that's it. You're supposed to be this fierce idol that's got it all figured out. Godlike. Almost. Owning oneself down to the last manicured nail. But confidence is a work in progress. I mean, when is anyone's chicken even fully cooked? You know what I mean?"
Lucifer was impacted by what Busty was saying, "Yes." Carlos noticed the look on his dad's face and thought, "He's having an epiphany I think." Busty continued, "Drag saved me. This makeup, this jewelry, this is my armor. And Fiona helped me see that even though the paint can give strength, it still has to come from within. I think I was holding part of myself back 'cause I was afraid that, well, that if I put too much effort into being, it sounds stupid, a pretty queen, that people would laugh at me, and not in a good way. But if we're gonna change the world, and hunty, we are, queens like me gotta work on facing all of our fears, and knowing we're enough."
Carol asked, "If you don't mind me asking, uh, what exactly were you and Fiona arguing about?" "Fiona was pushing me," Busty answered. "I didn't always wanna hear it. But I knew what she was saying. Yes. I am Busty Bazoongas. But until I can look within and own that, I will never be…" "Who you're truly meant to be," Lucifer finished. Carlos looked over at his dad, knowing that Lucifer felt the same thing. Busty nodded while Carol said, "And we truly wanna find the killer." Busty chuckled, "Good luck on that one. As I said, Fiona's list of enemies was as long as my luxurious wig." Carol nodded, "OK, well, as least I have the full legal name now. I can get into financials and emails…" Lucifer interrupted, "Well, maybe you and Busty can do that together. Over a candlelit dinner." Carlos sighed, "Dad, really?" Busty said, "Oh! OK, I'm flattered. And you are adorable. But I'm afraid this queen's long term beau would object." Lucifer chuckled, "Right."
Lucifer, Carlos, and Carol walked out from backstage and Lucifer said, "Oh, look, don't give up hope quite yet. Maybe the hostess is single. She seemed taken with you." Carlos shook his head while Carol sighed, "Sure, and she's great, but not what I'm looking for." Lucifer replied, "OK, well, just because I don't care about you doesn't mean you can't care about somebody, so what are you looking for?" Carol sighed, "I don't know. Uh, somebody with a great heart, who's kind and smart and gives great hugs and has amazing T-shirts…" "You mean like Ella?" Carlos interrupted. "Exactly," Lucifer added. "You're describing Miss Lopez." Carol scoffed, "No, I'm not." "Liar," Carlos said. Carol sighed, "OK, fine, I am, but don't say anything. OK, because pretty sure she doesn't think of me like that." "Of course she doesn't," Lucifer replied. "You're monochromatic, and I'm not just talking about your clothes. But I have good news for you. I happen to know Miss Lopez very well, which means I'm ideally qualified to help you transform into the kind of man she would be interested in. Let me be your Fiona." Carlos sighed, "Oh, great."
Down in Hell, the mystery woman was walking around when a demon lady dressed in a nurse's outfit ran up to her, "Um, excuse me." The mystery woman turned to the demon, revealing herself to be a young woman with short brown hair and wearing a lot of leather, "You're excused." She turned and walked away, but the demon lady followed her, "Hey! Who are you? Did you escape from your room?" The mystery woman scoffed, "Chill, Ratchet. I'm not a damned soul." The demon lady countered, "Oh, well, you're not a demon." The mystery woman answered, "Ding, ding. You are correct." The demon lady sighed, "Look, I was just on a break and I kind of have to get back, but whoever you are, you're really not supposed to be here." The mystery woman chuckled and walked away. The demon lady ran after her, "Seriously! You are really not supposed to be here." The demon grabbed the woman's arm, but the woman shoved her off and unfurled red angels wings with red knifes making up most of her angel feathers. The demon lady was stunned, "You're an angel? I don't understand. Who are you? What are you doing here?"
The mystery woman hid her wings and pointed behind her, "Came to see him." She was pointing at Michael, who was on his hands and knees scrubbing the floor, not wearing a shirt, revealing the stubs where his wings used to be. "Michael!" The mystery woman shouted as she walked over to him. The demon lady ran in front of her and stopped, "Sorry. Nobody's allowed to talk to the prisoner. Something I can help you with?" The mystery woman smirked, "Sure, wanna help me destroy Lucifer Morningstar?" The demon lady was shocked, and shook her head. The mystery woman smirked, "Yeah, I didn't think so." She tried to walk past the demon, but the demon said, "Wait! You don't want Michael's help. He failed. Badly." "Epically is more like it," The mystery woman replied. "And that's why I wanna talk to him. I need to know what he did wrong, so I don't make the same mistakes." The demon answered, "Oh, simple. He overthought everything. His plan was way too complex. He shoulda just walked right up to Lucifer and shot him like that stupid human did. That guy actually got closer to destroying Lucifer than anyone else. But then that human also had to contend with Lucifer's…" "What stupid human?" the mystery woman asked.
Over at Lux, Ella entered the club and she saw Carol sitting at the bar, but he was wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket. She walked over to him, "Carol?" Carol turned to her, "Whassup?" Ella asked, "Um, have you seen Lucifer anywhere? He wanted me to meet him here." Carol answered, "Maybe I have, maybe I haven't. I mean, I haven't, though." Carol tried to reach for his drink, but was having a hard time due to the sunglasses. Ella noticed, "Do you wanna maybe take those off?" Carol replied, "No, I do all my best work in the dark. Not in a creepy way, but, you know, in a bad boy kind of way. 'Cause I'm a bad boy." "Are you undercover?" Ella asked. Carol shook his head, "No. This is just how I roll, after hour style. You know what I'm saying? This is all me. I mean, not….it's not really me, but I mean, it is me. I mean…" "Are you high?" Ella asked. Carol sighed and took off his sunglasses, "OK. This was a mistake." Ella nodded, "You know what? That we can agree on. OK, but just because we agree, doesn't mean we're good for each other." "Wait, what?" Carol asked.
Suddenly Carlos came over, "Hi, sorry. Carol, can you excuse Ella and I? I think my father has some explaining to do. Ella, come with me." Ella obeyed and followed Carlos up the stairs and Carol sighed, throwing his glasses onto the floor. Carlos found Lucifer near the entrance and Lucifer asked, "Oh, leaving so soon, Miss Lopez?" Before Ella could answer, Carlos shouted, "Dad, enough! I knew you were going to do something stupid with Carol and this is what you came up with? What the Hell? Why did you make Carol look like a bad boy?" Lucifer answered, "Because Miss Lopez likes bad boys." Carlos groaned, "Dad, you are such an idiot right now." Ella added, "What? No, Lucifer. I do not love bad boys, OK? And I agree with Carlos. This was stupid. I actually hate bad boys." Lucifer was shocked, "Oh, well, I wish you would've informed me of this personal growth. Duly noted." Ella turned to Carlos, "Were you a part of this?" Carlos shook his head, "Absolutely not. I knew my dad was going to try to help Carol hook up with you, but not like this. That's why I stepped in and put an end to this BS."
Ella turned to Lucifer, "Why did you do this?" Lucifer sighed, "I thought you two would be good together. So apart from his name, please don't be upset with Carol. Just tell me what you're looking for now and I'll make the necessary adjustments." Before Carlos could argue back, Ella sighed, "I don't even know. I mean, I thought I liked Carol the way he was, but I don't even know who that down there is. I mean, he clearly knows how to lie." Lucifer argued, "Like I said, that was my doing, and technically, it's not a lie." "But he was willing to go along with it, Lucifer," Ella retorted. "Willing to manipulate me and the point is I don't know if I can trust him. I mean, if he can lie about being a bad boy, then maybe he is lying about liking kung fu movies. And next thing you know, he's got a secret room full of murder flowers." Carlos said, "Oh, Ella." He side hugged Ella while Lucifer sighed, "Oh, right. I see. You're suffering from Pete-TSD."
Carlos helped Ella to a chair, and Ella said, "I just, I mean, it figures too, with everything feeling so strange, like God's gone. I've been pretending like he's still up there, but I'm gonna need the real deal for this Carol situation, and I've been trying really hard, but I just can't feel him." Lucifer said, "Well, I'm sure that somebody somewhere is trying to remedy that. Unfortunately for you, you're not the person he needs to help right now." Carlos gave Lucifer a "Really?" look. Then Lucifer mused, "Unless, if me helping you prove that Carol isn't a lying, cheating serial killer can actually help him. Conundrum averted. Miss Lopez, I'll do it." "Do what?" Ella asked. Carlos added, "What are you planning, Dad?"
The trio found themselves at Carol's apartment. Ella offered to pick the lock, but Carlos said, "Allow me." He expertly picked the lock and opened the door. Ella asked, "How did you do that?" Carlos shrugged, "I grew up in a rough neighborhood. Just like you." Ella nodded, "Let's just do what we came here to do before I change my mind and Carol comes home from work." They started to look around and Lucifer couldn't help but comment, "Posh, but bland furniture. Photograph of his mom. Oh, kung fu posters everywhere, see? He's Cleary what he presents to be, a poster boy for beige. And since that's what you're going for these days, you win! And so do I. Come on, you two." Ella replied, "I can't leave until I see what's in his closet." Ella walked over to the closet while Lucifer asked himself, "Will the helping never end?" Carlos elbowed his dad in the ribs and they followed Ella.
Ella stood in front of the closet and Lucifer asked, "Come on, what are you waiting for? Open it." Carlos saw the panicked look on Ella's face, "Do you want me to do it?" Ella shook her head, "No, I'll do it." She opened the closet, finding his clothes. She knocked on the walls and nothing happened. "Nothing scary," Ella said. Lucifer scoffed, "Speak for yourself. Personally, I am terrified at the amount of khakis he owns. Goodness me." Ella then remembered, "Wait a minute. There's still that missing year. What was he doing that whole time?" Carlos was confused, "Wait, what are you talking about?" Ella explained, "I stole his personnel file. It read that he was vice for two years then took a year off." Lucifer sighed, "Miss Lopez, Carol is not Pete. Maybe you'll just have to accept that this one is just a good guy. And that you deserve it." Ella sighed, "You're right. I've been doing the work on me, and I've accepted my darkness. And I still love myself, damn it. And Carol is the result. A perfectly, normal, super set guy." Lucifer smirked, "Excellent. Now go forth and bed your man." Carlos groaned, "You just had to say that." Ella added, "Yeah, that's not what I'm…" Lucifer interrupted, "No need to thank me. Al in a God's day's out." "Dad," Carlos said. "We should get out now." Lucifer replied. "Actually no, I think I might send for a maid service to enhance your wedding experience before you get…." He went over to the bed and lifted the duvet cover to make the bed look nicer, but then they saw a locked chest. "What the hell is that?" Ella asked. "It appears to be a locked trunk at the foot of his bed," Carlos answered.
Meanwhile, over at Chloe's house, she invited Maze over and asked her something. Maze asked, "Wait. You wanna go on a bounty with me?" Chloe nodded, "Yeah, I think it'd be fun. my schedule is wide open. Oh, Lucifer told me you're not going down to Hell. Oh! Congrats on the engagement. So I figured you were probably busy planning the wedding, so maybe I can help." Maze chuckled, "Something's off with you." "What?" Chloe replied. "No. I'm just bored. Really." Maze sighed, "OK. Well, I don't have any bounties right now, but if anything comes up, I'll let you know." Maze stood up and tried to leave, but Chloe stopped her, "Hold on! So if I'm gonna be helping you out, maybe you can help me out with some sparring lessons?" Maze chuckled, "Sparring lessons. No offense, Decker, but I'd snap you like a twig." Maze again tried to leave, but then Chloe kicked her in the legs, knocking her over to the counter. Maze turned around, "What the hell was that?" Chloe got into a sparring position, "I said I wanna spar, bitch." Maze chuckled, "Bitch. OK. Don't say I didn't warn you, bitch." They started to spar, throwing objects and furniture around, Chloe not going down so easily.
Back at Carol's apartment, the trio were still looking at the chest. Lucifer told Ella, "People lock things up all the time. It doesn't make it nefarious. Perhaps he's just housing his nicest pair of chinos." Carlos scoffed, "Says the man who has a safe in his bedroom with who knows what in it." Ella said, "Yeah, yeah, or a dead body!" Lucifer scoffed, "Don't be ridiculous, we'd smell it." "That's true," Carlos added. Ella started to pace, "OK. Maybe something's wrong with Carol. Maybe something is wrong with me, but I have to know what's in there, Lucifer, Carlos." Lucifer sighed and knelt down and showed her the lock, which had a number lock on it. Ella sighed, "What? I can't pick that lock. I've got bolt cutters in my car." While Lucifer and Ella were looking at the lock, Carlos secretly pulled out his mirror and asked it what the combo was. When Ella turned and walked away and left the room, Carlos quickly bent down and used his telekinesis to turn the numbers on the lock to the correct combo. It unlocked and Carlos shouted, "Ella, I got it!" Ella ran back in and Lucifer said, "Oh, would you look at that? Carlos figured it out. He's so smart." Ella hummed, "First Lucifer gets through a lock, now you Carlos." Both Lucifer and Carlos were confused.
Ella said to Lucifer and Carlos, "OK, open it." Carlos opened the chest and saw a single bottle of alcohol in it. Everyone was confused. Ella picked it up and saw a note written on it, "One day at a time." Lucifer commented, "Well, it is a fairly good bottle of Scotch, but this seems like overkill." Carlos looked at it while Ella was holding it, "Wait. I think I know what this means." "So do I," Ella replied. "Carol's a recovering alcoholic." Lucifer chuckled, "Well, that is fantastic news! I mean, well, no murder flowers, right?" "At least he's recovering from this, unlike my mom," Carlos muttered. Ella handed the bottle to Lucifer, "We shouldn't be here." Her phone went off and Ella said, "OH, my gosh, it's Carol. What do we do?" "Well," Lucifer answered. "I believe it's customary to answer it." Ella answered the phone, "Hey, Carlo, what you doing? You're not headed home, are you?" Lucifer tried to open the bottle but Carlos whispered into Lucifer's ear, "Get Ella out of this room. I'll use my powers and arrange it back as it was. Go." Lucifer nodded and handed Carlos the bottle and pushed Ella out of the room while she was on the phone. Once they were out of sight, Carlos used his telekinesis and illusion magic to make the room look exactly as it did before they arrived.
Carol answered on the other end of the phone, "Uh, no, I'm actually at Fred's apartment." Ella replied, "Oh! Yes, that's great. Uh-huh." She was confused as to why Lucifer pushed her out of his room and tried to walk back, but was shocked to see the bedroom look like nothing had happened. She gave Carlos a look, who mouthed, "I quickly put everything back so he doesn't know. Just keep talking to him while we get out of here."
He pushed her out while Carol responded on the phone, "I looked through his records, and I couldn't find anything, so I figured I'd stop by here and see if I could find something, and I think that I did." Carlos had pushed Ella out to where Lucifer was near the door and Ella said into the phone, "Right. Uh…" Carol said, "Somebody broke in, and they rifled through Fred's computer, which is currently open to a calendar event for his meeting with Kate." Ella replied, "Oh, uh, gotcha. Oh, so you're saying that someone went there looking for Fred, and they didn't find him, but they found the address on his computer, and they went to confront Fred there?" "Exactly," Carol said. "So I was hoping you could come over and dust for prints because I am guessing whoever broke in here is probably our killer." "Oh," Ella replied as Lucifer and Carlos were trying to get Ella out the door. "I mean, fingerprints? Oh, right. I can totally do that, 'cause it's not like I'm doing anything important. You know, I'm just hanging out by myself." "OK, great," Carol said. "I am at 602 Maplehurst." Ella replied, "Oh, wow, that's right around the corner." "Really?" Carol asked. "That's funny. I live close by here too. I guess we're neighbors." That made Ella stop while Carlos and Lucifer were trying to drag her out, "Wow, what a coincidence! Uh, see you soon." She hung up while Lucifer and Carlos dragged her out of the apartment.
Carol put his phone down, "Yeah, OK, um, uh…." He turned around and saw Niles holding a knife. Niles scoffed, "So much for wiping my tracks. Now you've seen me." Carol held his hands up, "Niles, it's Niles, right? Why don't you just put the knife down, Niles, and then we can have a talk, OK?" Niles shook his head, "I'm getting out of here, and I don't wanna hurt you, but I will if I have to, so just….Let me think. Um…" Carol nodded, "OK. Go ahead, think." "Handcuff yourself to that table," Niles demanded. "Do it!" Carol sighed, "OK. You got it. Just give me a second." He pulled out his handcuffs and hooked one side to a table and one side to his arm, "We good?" Niles sobbed, "This was all an accident. You know? I just wanted to talk to Fred, but things escalated, got psychical, and we fell. It wasn't until I got up that I even saw the heel in his neck." Carol replied, "You said you wanted to talk to him. What did you wanna talk to him about, Niles?" "He was sleeping with my boyfriend!" Niles shouted. "I saw the shoes Fred sent him. The little love note he put in the box. "So you can see yourself the way I see you. Truly beautiful.""
Suddenly Lucifer, Carlos, and Ella got into the apartment and saw what was going on. "Carol?" Ella asked. Carol put up his hand, "OK. We're good. We're good. Right, Niles? Niles, your boyfriend, it's Brian, isn't it?" Niles nodded while sobbing. "Busty," Lucifer said while Carlos snuck around Lucifer from behind. "I love him so much," Niles said. "But her started acting strange. You know, secretive. So when the shoes arrived, it all clicked. Fred was having an affair with him!" Lucifer clarified, "Fred was helping Brian be a better Busty. They weren't having an affair." "Yes, they were!" Niles shouted at Lucifer. "It's happened to me before With my ex. He cheated on me too. Lied. Hid things from me. No, no, Brian was doing all the same things." While Niles was distracted, Carlos had reached a distance to where Niles couldn't see him and Carol and Ella were staring at Niles. Carlos did a motion with his hand to use his telekinesis to open Carol's handcuffs, but just the one around Carol's hand. Carol felt it as Ella said, "Your ex fooled you, but you weren't gonna miss it again. Right?" Lucifer added, "Just because somebody hurts you doesn't mean the next person's gonna do the same thing." Niles shook his head, "No. He was cheating. I know it." Carol looked at Ella and whispered, "Supercop." Carlos saw this and commanded, "Niles. It doesn't have to end like this. Now, drop the knife." Niles followed the command while Ella did some kung fu moves and kicked Niles towards Carol, who kicked Niles down to the ground. They both did one last move, just to show off. Lucifer clapped, "Well done, Miss Lopez. And Carol. Carlos, nice distraction." Carlos nodded while Carol unhooked the other end of his handcuffs and handcuffed Niles.
Over at Chloe's house, she and Maze were still going at it, the place was now a total mess. Maze sighed, "OK. I'm out." "What?" Chloe asked. "So soon? We just started." Maze chuckled, "Well, you really are enjoying this super strength stuff, huh?" Chloe nodded, "Yeah, it's fun! To have this much power? I mean, you would know, you love it." Maze nodded, "Yeah. I love it. It's great. You know what else I love? Sleep. I'm out." She turned to leave, but Chloe stopped her, "Wait! Same time tomorrow? Yeah?" Maze was confused, "Chloe, are you OK?" Chloe nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" Maze sighed, "Well, like you said, I have a wedding to plan, so I'm gonna pass on tomorrow." Maze walked out, leaving Chloe by herself.
Meanwhile, Carol had handed Niles off to other officers to take back to the station and he walked over to Ella, "Niles' story matches the autopsy report, so it wasn't premeditated, and hopefully that will be reflected in his sentence." "Oh, that's great," Ella replied. Carol said, "Yeah. Hey, um, hold on just one second. I'm sorry. About what happened at Lux, the after hours Carol. That is not me. I was taking some very bad advice because, um, well, I'm just gonna say it. I like you." "I broke into your place," Ella interrupted. Carol was confused, "You did what?" Ella explained, "I stole your personnel file. I worried about your vice days and that missing year, and I broke in. And I found your trunk. And I opened it, which I know is something that is yours to tell in your own time and…" Carol stopped her, "It's OK. I'm not ashamed of it. It's just, it's something that doesn't come up in casual conversation, and as for the year that is missing, I was in rehab. And when you get out of rehab, they tell you to take things slowly. Everything. Including dating. And I think that's maybe why I've men so buttoned up. And since I got out, I've just been struggling to figure out who I am again. And being around you, it's just easy. I'm just the best version of myself again."
Ella sighed, "Well, I get it. I mean, figuring out who you really are is quite the journey. And I am so sorry for what I did, Carol. And, OK, not that this is any excuse whosoever, but the last guy I date was sort of a, um, serial killer. And, uh, that sort of thing tends to lead to a little mistrust in the romance department." Carol nodded, "Wow. I guess that's one more thing we have in common, huh? Baggage." Ella chuckled, "Yeah. Buckets of baggage. So you're not mad?" Carol replied, "Well, it's not great that you broke into my apartment and stole my personnel file, but, um, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it's a sign you like me too?" Ella smiled, "You still wanna go see Supercop?" Carol nodded, "Yeah." Ella chuckled, "Cool." Carol said, "Just one more, just tiny thing. Um, promise me that if you ever wanna know anything, um, about me, ever again, that, um, that you'll just ask." Ella nodded, "Deal. But I have one question. How did you get out of your cuffs that quickly?" Carol shrugged, "I don't know. One minute I was looking at Niles, and then I felt them open on their own. Then I saw Carlos standing near me and he was able to distract Niles so you could use those kung fu moves of yours. Weird. But Carlos and his father Lucifer are weird, but in a good way." Ella nodded, "Yes, they are."
Carol and Ella parted ways, while Lucifer and Carlos looked on. Carlos smiled, "I guess you did end up helping them get together, Dad." Lucifer smiled, but he still didn't feel any different, "Damn." "Dad?" Carlos asked. Lucifer shook his head, "Nothing. Let's go home."
Down in Hell, Dan was practicing ping pong all on his own. He swung at the ball, but the mystery woman caught it. Dan was shocked to see her there. The mystery woman smiled, "Oh, sorry. Were you using this?" "Ah, finally!" Dan chuckled. "An opponent. Thinking I'd be Forrest Gump forever. Here you go. Ball up." He handed her a paddle, but the mystery woman threw it onto the table, "I'm not here for ping pong." She unfurled her red dagger wings, and Dan said, "Oh, whoa, holy wow! Those are…Wait a minute. Did Lucifer send you?" The mystery woman shook her head, "Not exactly. But he is the reason why I'm here." "Huh?" Dan was confused.
The mystery woman sighed as she hid her wings, "Ugh! You're ruining all my cool lines. I heard you almost killed the Devil." Dan sighed, "Yeah. Almost. It was one of the worst things I've ever done. In fact, I feel really guilty about it. Very guilty, in fact." The mystery woman shrugged, "Well, everyone makes mistakes. Speaking of, how did you get so close to killing him, exactly?" "I was manipulated," Dan revealed. "By an angel." "Ah," the mystery woman replied. "Michael, right? Yeah, I know him. He's the worst. Honestly, you shouldn't beat yourself up about it. I mean, lots of humans, even angels, have fallen for his lies. But I'd love to hear your side of the story." Dan chuckled, "You're trying to manipulate me too, aren't you? What, you think I'm stupid?" "No shit, Sherlock," the mystery woman replied. Dan then said, "Well, you know what? I'm not gonna help you hurt Lucifer. I don't care who you are. For all I know, that's what got me into Hell in the first place."
The mystery woman shrugged, "Suit yourself. But just so you know, Lucifer's not the only one who likes to make deals. And, um, I think I know something you might be interested in." Dan chuckled, "What could you possibly do for me?" "I can get you out of here," the mystery woman revealed. Dan laughed, "Yeah, right. It's not possible." "Except it is," the mystery woman said. Dan sighed, "Look, Lucifer said he's still trying to figure out a way, so…" The mystery woman chuckled, "What's there to figure? It's easy. I can just fly you up to Earth. Any angel can. And we all know it." Dan asked, "So then why would Lucifer leave me down here for thousands of years?" The mystery woman shrugged, "No clue, but he did. Anyway, if you're not interested…" She turned to walk away, but Dan stopped her, "Wait. Maybe I can help you." Thee mystery woman smirked, "Look who's not so stupid after all."
Over at Lux, Lucifer had said goodnight to Carlos, and Carlos headed up to the guest suite, where Dude was waiting, "You've been gone too long." Carlos sighed, "Sorry, Dude. I was tagging along with Dad today. To make sure he didn't do anything stupid." Carlos sat down on the bed and Dude hopped up, "So, what did he do?" Carlos then explained the entire thing about Lucifer trying to help Carol with the drag queen case and getting Carol and Ella together. Dude chuckled, "Your dad really likes to go all out, doesn't he?" Carlos nodded, "Yeah. I know that he wanted to try and help someone he doesn't care about to see if he gets into his God role." "And did he?" Dude asked. Carlos sighed, "Honestly, I don't know."
Up in the penthouse, Lucifer was sitting in bed holding a glass of whiskey, thinking to himself. Chloe walked up to him, "You're still awake?" Lucifer nodded while putting his glass down, "Yes, and not in a good way." Chloe smirked, "Maybe I can help with that." Chloe sat down on the bed and got into Lucifer's arms, as he asked, "So, how was your day, honey?" Chloe sighed, "Oh, uneventful. You? Did you get up to stuff with Carlos? You feeling godly yet?" Lucifer answered, "Well, I helped Carol, with some assistance from Carlos, mainly I think to keep me in check, but then II was genuinely happy when he and Miss Lopez worked out." "And that's a bad thing?" Chloe asked. Lucifer answered, "Happy for both of them, which means somewhere along the way I ended up caring about the stupid man, so mission not accomplished." Chloe sighed, "Well, maybe this just means that you can learn to care about all humans." Lucifer laughed, "Well, I admire your positivity, but if that's the solution, then I'm never gonna be God." "Lucifer," Chloe said. "You will figure this out." "I hope so," Lucifer replied. "I'm sorry this is taking longer than wee thought." "There's no rush, right?" Chloe asked. Lucifer sighed, "Well, doesn't seem to be. Maybe we should just take our time. I mean, I am spending some quality father son time with Carlos. And I am spending some quality time with you." They kissed each other passionately.
Over at the movie theater, Ella and Carol were walking out of the movie and Ella said, "Wow, you really, uh, put away a lot of candy in there." "Yep," Carol smirked. "Known to do that. Call me Snacky Chan." Ella chuckled, "Oh, man, you're so pop-corny." They both laughed as they walked to Ella's car and Ella said, "Well, this is me." "Wow," Carol noticed her vintage car. "Nice. Hey, Ella, um, I have to say that I think tonight is the best date I've ever had." Ella replied, "Well, I would call you a liar, but…" Carol gave Ella a kiss on her check and whispered, "Good night." He turned and walked away. Ella said to the sky, "Hey, if you're still up there, thanks." She turned to unlock her car, but then she heard a thud. She looked around and saw that a frog had somehow landed on the hood of her car. Ella said, "What the…."
