A/N: Trigger warning - miscarriage blaming/shaming

Jane let Maura take the lead on updating Angela about their life in Virginia while she drove. Angela had insisted on sitting in the back and if she noticed Jane and Maura holding hands she didn't comment on it. Jane didn't really think twice about the action. Maura steadied her, wordlessly reassuring Jane. Angela had plenty of questions about the clinic and Maura's writing. Enough to last them through the appetizers.

'So Janie,' Angela said directing her attention to Jane after the waiter took their dinner order, 'tell me about Angent Davies! Have you seen him again?'

Jane tried not to flinch, 'yes Ma. We work together, I see him almost every day.'

Angela smiled, her face lighting up at the news, 'so when's the wedding?'

'Ma!' Jane whined, 'never because we aren't dating. We're just co-workers.' Maura shifted closer to Jane, allowing her foot to settle beside Jane's. It was a subtle sign of support.

Angela's face fell, 'Janie what happened? What'd you do?'

Jane rolled her eyes, 'nothing Ma, we just weren't compatible okay?'

'I don't understand how this always happens Janie,' Angela exclaimed in an angry whisper, 'you find a nice man and then you chase them off. You aren't getting any younger, you know.'

Jane sighed wearily, 'I didn't chase him off Ma, I just wasn't interested.'

'Why?' Angela demanded her words getting louder, 'why are you never interested in the nice men you meet? First you weren't interested in moving with Charles and now you aren't interested in being with Agent Davies. Why won't you let someone love you, take care of you?'

Jane blinked, taken aback. 'I do,' Jane replied shocked, 'Maura takes care of me.' Jane missed the pleased smile on Maura's lips.

'That's fine for now Jane,' Angela replied hotly, 'but one day Maura is going to meet a man of her own and who will take care of you then?'

That thought pierced Jane to the core. Jane loved what she and Maura had. Maura called them committed but that doesn't mean the same as permanent. She looked at Maura. The other woman met her eyes. 'I'll always be there for you Jane,' Maura replied softly, speaking only to Jane.

'Of course you will honey,' Angela replied slightly softer, 'but Janie has to realize the two of you will want to start your own lives, your own families one day. This extended sleep over can't last forever.'

Maura shook her head, obviously disagreeing with the older woman. Jane replied for them, 'Ma we aren't sleeping over. We're family. Maura is family. She's... forever.' Jane smiled at Maura. It felt good acknowledging it. That they had a home, pets to care for, a life together for forever.

'Of course Maura is family,' Angela replied, dismissing the weight of the words Jane spoke, 'but what about children Jane? I want grandbabies. From both of you. You had a chance to be a mother Janie, you would have been a good one, I just know it. If you had just set your job aside, thought about your own safety for once.'

Jane felt sucker punched. Tears sprang to her eyes, her throat got tight. Jane took a few strangled breaths. She knew her mother had wanted a grandbaby. Knew that her mother blamed her for the miscarriage. Jane just never expected her to be so explicit about it. Maura was beside her before Jane had even processed what was wrong. 'That was too far Angela,' Maura's voice was tight but controlled, 'I think you should go take a minute to calm down.' Jane didn't hear her mother's response but she heard her mother get up. 'Jane, sweetie, look at me.' Maura spoke with her doctor voice, soft but authoritative.

Maura was kneeling beside her chair. She had both of Jane's hands in her own. When Jane met her eyes she smiled reassuringly. Jane took what felt like her first breath in the last few minutes. 'That's good Jane,' Maura said rubbing her hands, 'keep breathing.' Jane pulled in another few breaths and managed to shove back on the emotions threatening to swamp her. When she had calmed down by some measure, Maura asked, 'do you want to go? We can go right now, I'll order your mother a car.'

Jane considered it. Considered leaving her mother with the awful weight of her words, embarassed and alone in the restaurant. Considered letting Maura swoop her away. It was tempting. Very tempting. Jane shook her head, 'I want to but I'm pretty hungry Maura.' Jane smiled weakly.

Maura chuckled, 'okay Jane. We'll stay and eat.'

'Can we get dessert first?' Jane asked, half hoping.

Maura considered her a moment. 'I think,' she began, 'a chocolate lava cake with ice cream on top is just what the doctor ordered.' Jane wasn't sure how she did it but in mere moments Maura had a waiter at their side and was ordering just that.

'I suppose I should go check on Ma,' Jane replied not bothering to move.

Maura shook her head, 'let me Jane. You stay here, wait for your chocolate.'

Jane nodded, giving Maura a grateful smile. She was already feeling better, the tattered pieces of her feelings being strung back together again. Maura had a way of making Jane feel whole again. Even more than chocolate cake did.


Maura went off to find Angela. She found her crying in the bathroom. Maura wasn't sure what to expect from the older woman. Anger, perhaps, or embarassment. Maura wasn't prepared for tears. 'Angela?' Maura tried to be firm but her heart wasn't in it.

'I don't know why I said those awful things!' Angela cried out, 'I just was so angry! She could have had it all. A baby, a husband, and she doesn't even acknowledge it.'

Maura sighed, 'maybe she doesn't talk about it because it hurts too much Angela. Because it hurts us all. You lost a grandbaby, Jane lost a baby, I lost that baby too. That doesn't mean she doesn't feel it.' Maura crossed her arms, trying to reassure herself.

Angela swiped at her eyes, 'why won't she let herself be happy? To be in a relationship? Do you think she blames herself for losing the baby?'

'She is happy,' Maura replied, uncrossing her arms once more. 'We're both very happy in Virginia and if you would stop trying to define happiness for her you might just see that.'

'Of course she's happy with you Maura, you're her best friend. That doesn't mean she wouldn't be happier if she were married or a mother. Parenting is one of the most beautiful gifts life can give.'

'So you're worried she is not fulfilled?' Maura asked, trying to understand.

Angela had mostly stopped crying now, 'yes, I think so.'

Maura took a breath, 'then you should ask her if she feels fulfilled in her life purpose but only if you are willing to listen to her answer. Jane doesn't need a man or a baby to be fulfilled Angela and if she has found that fulfillment elsewhere, you have to be willing to hear her. Otherwise, you risk never knowing that side of Jane or worse losing her altogether. You have to be okay with the possibility that there will never be a man or grandchildren.'

Angela considered her for a moment, when she spoke it was soft and without hope, 'I don't think I can.'

Maura stood straighter then, her anger flaring, 'then at least have the common decency to not blame Jane for your deficiencies.' Maura left without another word, leaving Angela wondering if she had ever heard Maura speak so angrily to her before.