Jane's cheeks hurt from smiling. The whole weekend Jane had been in utter bliss. Even as she wandered from art exhibit to art exhibit, staring at things that Jane would definitely not consider art. It didn't really matter to Jane, as long as she was the reason that Maura was beaming all weekend long. It helped that she got to hold Maura's hand. And the kissing. The kissing was definitely a big plus.

Jane had worried kissing a woman would feel weird. She'd worried her inner catholic kid would rear up and make her feel guilty. Maybe it still would but right now? Kissing Maura felt as natural as drinking water after a good run. Both vital and utterly quenching. Jane had felt so much, for so long about Maura, like she had been in this space for years and only now had a name for it. Who knew you could fall wildly, completely, soul deep in love with someone without ever realising it?

Now Jane sat across from Maura eating dinner in the airport before her flight. Jane didn't want the weekend to end and judging by the way Maura's grip grew tighter the longer the night went on, neither did Maura.

'I'm so grateful you came to New York, Jane,' Maura said softly, 'it was exactly what I needed.'

'Me too,' Jane said squeezing Maura's hand back. 'Just say the word and I'll quit my job to be your travelling groupie,' Jane teased.

'Only if you promise to be irrationally jealous of my adoring fans,' Maura replied with a dimpled smile and batting eye lashes.

Jane didn't know why that flustered her so much but it did. Her cheeks flared a rosy red and Jane could only manage a cough in response.

Maura ran a thumb softly over Jane's hand, 'I like flustering you.' Her voice was soft, her tone down right seductive. Jane choked on her own spit.

'Maura,' Jane whispered hotly. 'You can't say things in that voice.' Jane wasn't sure if she was embarrassed or turned on.

'Why not?' Maura asked, eyes wide and judgement-free, her eye lashes fluttering, 'it's the truth.'

Jane felt torn. On the one hand she desperately wanted to take Maura back to the hotel and let her speak in that tone of voice all night long. On the other, she wanted to run from even the hint of sex in public. Her voice broke when she spoke, 'just not here. Not now, okay?'

Maura relented, she cleared her throat and looked away. Jane suspected they both needed to calm down.

Silence stretched between them, with just a hint of discomfort. Then Maura smiled at her reassuringly and Jane let out the breath she was holding. 'Dessert?' Jane asked.

Maura bit her cheek as if she was avoiding saying something and nodded fervently.

'What did I say something?'

Maura shook her head and took a gulp of water.

Jane thought about it for a moment, 'are you avoiding saying something vaguely sexually inappropriate?'

Maura nodded and looked away, her cheeks blushing red.

Jane squeezed Maura's hand, 'thank you. I don't know if I'm ever going to be as comfortable discussing it as you, especially in public.'

Maura looked back at her and offered a genuine smile, 'that's okay Jane. I want to respect your boundaries. I'm not trying to rush you or force you in to anything. We'll take it all at your pace.'

'Wait,' Jane asked eyebrows furrowing, 'are you saying you're, you know, ready to,' Jane's voice whispered, 'you know.' Jane made a vague flicking motion between their bodies.

Maura smiled, 'I feel no particular compulsion to wait Jane. We both know I am more comfortable in my sexual proclivities than you. I have a deep attraction to you, it is only natural that I would be biologically compelled to act on that attraction.'

Jane's nose wrinkled. She was never sure if Maura's science speak was reassuring or off putting when it came to sex. 'I just… it means something to me. You know? And with you? It means even more.'

Maura rubbed her hand again, her smile never faltering, 'I'm aware of your emotional emphasis on the act and I don't mind waiting for you to be ready. As I said, I'm in no rush. This,' Maura gestured between them, 'means everything to me. You mean everything to me.'

Jane smiled at that. They might not be on the same page physically but Jane knew they were on the same page emotionally. The rest would fall in to place eventually. 'So how about that sox game?' Jane asked with a smirk. Maura just chuckled.

Maura walked her to security, the pout on her face deepening. When they got there, Jane pulled Maura in to a hug. 'I love you Maura. I'll see you soon.' Jane pressed a soft kiss to Maura's. Maura pressed back, holding Jane in place, their lips connecting, their bodies touching.

'Fly safe?' Maura asked when she pulled back, her voice a bit breathless.

Jane smiled and pressed a kiss to the shorter woman's forehead, 'I will. You be safe too.'

Maura watched Jane until she couldn't see her anymore before heading back to her hotel. She had an interview in the morning.


Panda ate her breakfast in silence. The other girls chattered away, talking about school and who had lost privileges recently and for what. Panda wasn't sure about her group home. She liked the new clothes and she liked her room but she wasn't sure about the other girls there. Miss Nia had promised her that she would only be there for a few nights. Promised she would be going home to a real family soon but Panda wasn't sure she wanted that. Panda wanted that nice lady doctor. She wanted the lady who told her all about pandas. Panda stabbed another bite of her eggs and looked up at the news to see just that very doctor on the television!

'Hey!' Panda shouted and pointed at the tv, 'turn it up!'

The entire room went silent and turned to stare. She hadn't said anything to any of them since she had arrived. Miss Rory, the morning caregiver and school driver turned the TV dial up.

Miss, no Doctor, Panda reminded herself Isles, was sitting across from some news lady talking about her book. She was just as beautiful as Panda remembered. Panda stood up and walked to the tv. Pressing her face in close to look at every detail. Behind her, she could hear the other girls whispering but Panda didn't care. Doctor Isles laughed at something the host said. Panda was riveted.

Suddenly the camera changed to a different news lady, reporting on something else. 'Bring her back,' Panda whispered.

'What sweetie?' Miss Rory asked gently, an obvious look of concern on her face.

'Bring her back!' Panda yelled. 'Bring her back! Bring her back!'

All the hurt and anger bubbled up in Panda's tummy and exploded out of her hands and feet. She knew it was bad. She knew she would be punished but she couldn't help it! She just wanted Dr. Isles. She wanted to learn more about Pandas. She just wanted Dr. Isles.

She could hear Miss Rory talking to her, trying to calm her down. Panda fell to the floor and began pounding and kicking at the floor. She didn't want to be in this dumb home. She just wanted to go back to the doctor but even the doctor hadn't wanted her. Tears fell down Panda's cheeks. She just wanted to be wanted. The mad left her hands then, leaving behind a big mess of sad in her tummy. Panda curled in to a ball on the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees and squeezing her eyes shut. She could pretend she was back in the doctors room. She was good at pretending. She had pretended all the time at… her old house. Her not a home any more.

It was Miss Nia's voice that brought her back. Panda was laying in her bed, Miss Nia sitting softly beside her talking.

'I want Doctor Isles,' Panda whispered.

'What did you say sweetie?' Miss Nia asked, realising the girl was awake and talking to her.

'I want Doctor Isles,' Panda said louder.

Miss Nia's face got sad, 'sweetie that's not possible.'

'Why?' Panda asked, 'doesn't she want me?'

'I don't know but she isn't a foster parent, so we couldn't put you with her,' Miss Nia murmured.

'So she can become one right?' Panda asked.

'Maybe,' Miss Nia replied, 'if she wanted to but we still probably couldn't put you with her. It wouldn't be possible until we know you would both be safe from your step father and even then the most likely outcome would be that you would go back to live with your mother.'

'My Mama doesn't want me,' Panda reminded Miss Nia. She didn't understand why the woman didn't understand that.

Miss Nia's face got even sadder, 'I think your Mama is in a tough spot Panda. I think if we get her some help, things might be better.'

'Well I don't want her,' Panda replied, the anger coming back now. 'I want Doctor Isles!'

Miss Nia let her yell for a while and when the mad had all come out she spoke softly, 'we'll have you in a foster home soon and it will feel more like a real home.'

Panda shuddered, she knew what a real home was. People hit you and yelled at you and you couldn't ever hit or yell back. There was no use telling this to Miss Nia though. Adults never understood. Except Doctor Isles. Doctor Isles hadn't hit her or yelled at her. Even when Panda refused to tell her, her name. Doctor Isles had let her pick a new name. Doctor Isles understood.

Miss Nia said goodbye, patting her shoulder softly. Panda began crying again, careful to keep quiet. She had misbehaved enough today, she didn't want the adults to get mad at her. If she had Doctor Isles, she could cry as loud as she wanted. Panda shivered again. Doctor Isles would hold her and make her feel better, just like she promised.