Loki sat in silence for a few very long seconds. He needed to pick his words carefully, but the mixed feelings clouded his thoughts. "A long time indeed." He said, giving his best neutral tone. Despite having not thought of their reunion for years, this was definitely not how he imagined it. "I assume Frigga sent you down here?" He asked in a slightly sharper tone. It was not a rude tone, but still warned her to not lie to him.
Laney took a deep breath and placed her hands behind her back. "What if she did?" She asked simply. "What if she wanted me to see you?"
He finally glanced up, briefly meeting Laney's eyes once more. "Then this will be very easy. You have seen me and can honestly tell her so." He mumbled, vaguely hoping it could actually be that easy.
A small smirk showed on Laney's face as she took a single step forward. "Do you really think that is what will happen Loki? I would think that you know me better than that."
Loki sighed and shook his head. "No, but I had to try." He admitted, giving a little shrug of his shoulders. "Well then, why has she sent you?"
"You don't sound too thrilled to see me," she sighed and looked to her feet before she looked back at him. "I thought you were dead you know."
"I would be happier to see you, had you come on your own to see me." Loki said, before he could stop himself. He hated that his words had betrayed his stone cold act. Even still, he had no intention of actually admitting he had missed her.
So he shows a bit of himself after all, she thought. Laney cleared her throat and climbed up the couple of steps that would bring her to the translucent wall. "Ignoring that I thought you were dead I see. Sore spot?" She hated to bait him, but she wanted to see just the type of man she was dealing with.
Loki glanced up and shot Laney a glare. "No, the sore spot is all the years before that. I don't hear a word from you until this moment, when you come here for Frigga." He snapped, not even wanting to admit to himself it hurt that she was not there just to see him, as a friend might.
Laney sighed. "I recall it was you that stopped replying to the letters I sent you all those years ago Loki. Also, she's your mother. Treat her as such."
Loki tensed but immediately controlled himself and decided an eye roll was more appropriate. "You recall wrongly. The last letter I sent was asking you to visit the palace over the summer. I never heard from you again after that, until today." He spoke as if it didn't matter, but kept his eyes down so his expression wouldn't give him away. "As for Frigga, I was just a tool to her, never a son." He muttered, but even his tone betrayed him and revealed the pain in those words.
"If she did not think of you as a son, then I would not be here," she replied, her voice hard. Keep your cool, she thought. Looks like things were kept from me as well. I never received such a letter.
Loki scoffed at her remark. "She thinks you have the best chance at getting through to me, so of course she sent you." He muttered, feeling his frustration grow. "Just tell me what she wants to know."
"She trusts me enough to tell me of everything that has happened in the past couple of years. I don't know what her exact idea is for me seeing you, but it looks to me that it is not going to make any difference."
"Then your job is done, you have seen me." Loki snapped, a little harsher than he had intended. "If you don't mind, I would like to be alone now."
Laney held in an eye roll before she nodded toward him. "As you wish," she replied, before she turned and walked down the large hall of the dungeon and up the stairs without looking back.
It wasn't until Laney reached her chambers that tears welled in her eyes from the stress of the situation. She sat on the edge of her bed and hastily wiped the tears away as they rolled down her cheeks. "That is not the man that I used to know," she said aloud to the empty room.
Only a few minutes after Laney had returned to her chambers, there was a gentle knock on her door. "May I enter?" Frigga called out, announcing herself to Laney.
"Yes!" Laney called. She did her best to dry her eyes as she reached for the sleeve of her dress. I hope they aren't too red, she thought.
Frigga walked into the room and sat next to Laney. "The guards told me the meeting was more of an argument. I just wanted to come and check on you, to make sure you are alright." She said in a soft, motherly tone.
"He never shouted. But his words cut like knives and he knows it," she let out a breath of air and turned to face Frigga. "I know that I told you that I would do this, but I do not know if I am strong enough."
Frigga gave a soft sigh and shook her head. "He has never needed to shout, not with how he twists his words..." She said, sincerely feeling bad for putting Laney through this. "I thought he would be happy to see you, that it might cheer him up some." Maybe I was wrong about him... She thought to herself.
"Well... he did avoid eye contact with me most of our conversation. He also mentioned that he would have been happier to see me if I had come on my own and was not bid to do so," she replied.
"I was right then, that he has missed you... that part of him is still intact." She said softly, but silently wondered if it was enough. "I know he's in there somewhere, under all the pain, I have to believe that."
Laney nodded in agreement. "I'm almost afraid of what it would take to get through the wall he has made. He still refuses to call you his mother. I corrected him after hearing your name from his lips twice, I could not help it."
"Finding out the truth about his heritage hurt him deeper than I think any of us will ever know. I know he sees himself as a monster now. Even after he found out, he still wasn't hurt as badly as he had been when he turned up again. During that time we all thought him dead, I know something terrible happened, but he refuses to give even the slightest clue as to what he went through." She said, carefully hiding her own emotions.
"I want to help him, Frigga, but I don't know how," She stood and crossed her arms over her chest as she began to pace. "He wants to close off everyone that was close to him from what I can tell... but he's not alone. What could I do to show him he's not alone anymore?"
Frigga watched Laney pace for a moment while gathering her thoughts. "He cannot handle the lies he was told, so make him remember that you were never part of those lies. I think that is how you get through to him." She said, then stood as well, before pulling Laney into a comforting hug.
Laney hugged her back tightly, burrowing her head into the crook of her neck just as any child would do with their mother. "I will try," she whispered. "I will try again tomorrow. Maybe bring him some books to read... do you think they will allow me inside with him?"
"I will see if I can arrange that. I can't imagine he would even consider harming you, but he is considered to be dangerous." Frigga said, unable to hide the pain in her voice at having to call her son dangerous. As a mother, she could see past the angry adult in the cell, and often still saw a scared, hurt child, and it was more than she could bear.
"If I can actually be in the cell with him, it would show him that I trust him, even if others do not. I know that Odin will not like it, in fact I think he will be angry about it, but I think it would be a step in the right direction."
Frigga gently pulled back from the hug. "Don't you worry about Odin. He doesn't even like the fact that Loki is in a cell." She said, showing the first hint of anger. "My only worry is that the only way to have you in the cell is for him to be bound, and I am not sure that will help. I will find a way..." She trailed off and ended in a sigh. "Get some rest, you look like you need it."
Laney nodded as she slowly let go of Frigga and took a step back. "I don't like the thought of him being bound. I feel that would make him more hostile." She quickly covered her hand as she yawned, then looked at Frigga sheepishly. "I think you are right. The afternoon has been a trying one."
Frigga nodded in agreement. "It will make him more hostile, but you leave all that to me. I know he needs this, so I will make it happen." She said with conviction. "I will be just down the hall, if you need anything at all." She said, giving Laney a kind smile.
"Thank you Frigga." Laney watched as she smiled and quietly left her chambers. She sighed and walked into her large bathroom and decided that a long soak before bed would do her good. She turned on the spigot that would bring forth hot spring water into the large sunken tub and stripped from her dress before she sank into the hot water. I hope I can help you Loki, she thought. I hope I can get you to see that we care... that I still care.
Loki had been pacing around his cell the following morning, lost in thought when two guards came in, forcing him to sit on his bed, then taking up their posts right beside him. They had chains ready, but did not attempt to use them yet. Once they were satisfied, they informed him Laney would be escorted in shortly.
Standing in a deep purple blouse and black trousers, Laney waited for permission before she walked into Loki's cell. In her arms she carried a handful of books from the large library, and she hoped that he would appreciate at least one of them that she'd picked out. "Good Morrow Loki."
Loki watched Laney walk in and relaxed some. It was normally only bad news when guards entered the cell, so it was a relief to see her. "I see Frigga has made you try again..." He said, but was back to his neutral tone.
"Actually, it was me this time around," she replied as she sat the small stack of books on his nightstand. "I found some books that you might enjoy, plus I figured you may like the company during the morning meal."
Slowly turning, he looked through the books on the nightstand. He had read most of them already, but these were not books his mother would have picked for him. Just the thought that Laney had truly put in at least that much effort on her own softened him somewhat. "Alright, I will agree to your company for now." He said, and turned back to her. While he didn't say anything, he did notice how the color of her blouse brought out her eyes.
Laney let herself smile, even if it was just a small one, but it was genuine. "I would like that," she answered honestly. She looked at the guards and cleared her throat. "I think that I will be safe without the both of you in here. If you must, could you stay just outside of the wall?" I want you to trust me Loki, she thought. I at least want you to want to trust me.
The guard to Loki's right looked down at Laney. "If we are outside, there is no way we can guarantee your safety." He said in a grave tone.
"I think that I can do that for myself," she replied as she held up her hand to show off a small purple ball of energy. "Learned from the best when I was young."
Both guards gave Laney a nervous look, even more so when they saw Loki smirk. "Very well, we will be right outside. We must warn against making any attempt to help the prisoner escape." He warned her, then they stepped just outside, sealing Laney and Loki in the cell together.
Laney smirked proudly as she let the energy ball vanish, then sat in the armchair beside his bed. "That went better than I expected it to, although I hope they bring the meal down soon. I'm starved."
As if on command, two trays were slid into the room. One holding a small feast for Laney, the other having something that only resembled food, for Loki. "Frigga must have called in every favor she had, to get you in this cell with me." He shrugged, ignoring his tray. Looking through the books again, he picked the one mid pile and pulled it out to open it.
Her eyes narrowed as she looked at Loki's tray of food. This is atrocious, she growled in her head.
Laney quickly picked up her tray and placed it to sit in between the both of them so they could share. "Eat Loki," she said quietly, ignoring his comment.
Loki gave a sarcastic chuckle. "We aren't permitted proper food down here. You could get thrown out for even offering it to me." He said, loud enough to be sure the guards would hear him deny the food.
She narrowed her eyes at him. "I'd like to see them try. Loki, please eat." She leaned towards the tray herself and grabbed a piece of bread and smoothed honey over top of it before she sat back and took a bite.
Loki eyed her carefully as she took a bite of the bread. He was normally very skilled at picking his battles, but the scents wafting from the warm food clouded his thoughts. He quickly grabbed a piece of bread and scarfed it down, all table manners forgotten for a moment.
He acts starved... how the Hel have they been treating him down here? Laney thought angrily. I may have to ask to speak to Odin myself.
"Eat as much as you'd like Loki," She said softly, "But don't make yourself ill."
With only slightly more control, Loki ate half of the food on the tray, making record time in doing so. Knowing he could have eaten far more, he did not want to take from Laney, and what he had eaten did dull the ache in his stomach. "Th-thank you." He mumbled, but his words were sincere.
"You're welcome Loki," she replied as she grabbed a cup of juice from the tray and took a drink.
Loki took the cup from his tray and sipped the water. It may have been warmer than he liked, but there was little they could do to make the water worse. "It is nice to see you again." He admitted, his tone soft and barely audible.
Laney let herself grin. "It's nice to see you too." She looked down at the hand that sat in his lap, resting on the book he'd put there. The urge to reach out to him and hold his hand was strong, but she didn't want to push her luck or risk him becoming angry with her again.
As if sensing her thoughts, Loki set the book back on the pile on the nightstand, leaving his hand free. He made no other move though, leaving that up to her, but acting completely unaware of where her eyes had been. "Why did Frigga send you to see me?" He asked, but this time, he was calm.
"She wants to help you," Laney replied. "She also wanted to tell me in person that you were alive. You have no idea how it felt to be told that you were dead," she added as unwilling tears welled in her eyes. "It's still hard for me to believe that you're actually sitting here across from me."
"I was shocked when she told me you were here in the palace. I gave up ever seeing you again years ago... when I ended up back here, part of me wanted to reach out to you, but I wasn't sure if you would remember me." Loki admitted with a soft sigh. He never would have even said half of this to Frigga, but Laney had always been the one he could open up to most.
"I know how you feel. Frigga's letter was short and to the point when she reached out to me," she replied as she played with the hem of her blouse. "Which reminds me that I need to ask my father a few things... I never received your letter asking me to visit you. I assumed that you got tired of replying to me."
Loki's head snapped up and he fully met Laney's eyes for the first time. "Never... ask Frigga, she can tell you how excited I was to receive your letters, and how heartbroken I was when they stopped." He said quickly, then looked away, hoping she wouldn't think too much about his feelings for her.
Laney took in the emotions that were in his eyes for the brief moment that he'd let her see them. "Loki," she murmured, "Please don't hide from me."
Very slowly, he made eye contact with her again. He was hesitant and guarded his thoughts and emotions as much as he could. "Some things need to be hidden..." He said, hoping she would understand and let him keep his secrets.
"I hope you will let me see in due time then," she paused as she looked at the hard look on his face and the ice behind the emeralds of his eyes. In a moment of weakness she leaned forward and reached out to barely caress his cheek, feeling his cool skin against her fingertips. "I've missed you..."
Loki made a soft, audible gasp when he felt her warm fingers touch his cheek. He lifted his hand and held her hand more firmly against his cool skin, committing every moment to memory. "Laney..." He started to say, when he was cut short by the guard.
"Meal time is over, we will escort you out." The guard told Laney, his tone still stone cold.
Laney turned and narrowed her eyes at the guard for interrupting them. She quickly looked back at Loki and turned her hand to hold his tightly. "I will see if they will let me back in the evening," she said softly.
Loki simply nodded and released her hand. He immediately turned to look at his books again, but it was only in an attempt to hide his disappointment over her having to leave. I hope you do come back again, He thought to himself.
