(smut later in chapter)
Laney and Desi stood in the middle of Loki's large sitting room. "Okay... now, the basic dance is simple to learn, all you do is follow the beat of the music that's playing. I assume Thor will not engage in the more elaborate dances."
Desi nodded, but was clearly distracted. "I'm ready. Simple moves should be easy enough."
She walked up to her and put one hand on her shoulder, the other on her waist. "This would be easier if I had music to play for you, but use a three beat in your mind. If you need to, count aloud."
Desi placed her hands on Laney in the same positions, then nodded. "You could just sing for us." She giggled, trying her best to focus.
Laney laughed. "I haven't sang in years, so good luck with getting me to," she replied as she slowly began leading Desi throughout the room.
"It's just the two of us here!" Desi giggled, dancing around the room with Laney. After a few rounds, she caught on and could keep up with the simple moves easily. She pulled away and sighed softly before the dance was done. "I shouldn't be doing this..."
"Desi, what's wrong?" She asked. "We were having fun."
"He's going to be the king soon... I guess I knew that, but it didn't hit me until we were talking in the pond. King, Laney, he's the next king." she sighed, feeling even more foolish now.
Laney sighed and grasped Desi's hand before she walked her over to the sofa and sat down with her. "He's still just a man, Desi. Take away the status, the bloodlines, the reputation, and he's just another man that you would pass on the street."
"That may be true, but it's not that easy. He can't just set aside the title of king, and I... well, I'm not queen material." She shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts. "He's likely forgotten all about the dancing already, so you and I should dance again!" She said, trying to cheer herself up.
"I doubt that. I know it's hard, but just try to relax and be yourself this evening," she said with a smile. "Did you want to dress casual? Or dress up?"
"I don't know how to be anyone else." Desi said with a grin. "How will everyone else be dressed?"
"It's a relaxed dinner, there's no event or anything tonight." Laney sat back on the sofa. "There's always music because Frigga enjoys it so much. I'll probably wear a dress out of courtesy though, you know I'm not fond of them."
"I know you aren't, but you always look amazing in a dress!" Desi said truthfully. "I have a nice casual dress I can wear. It's not palace nice, but it's one of my favorite dresses." She said, very happy she packed it. "Can I ask something that might be personal?"
"You wear anything that you want," she replied, "what's up? I'm all ears."
"In the pond, Loki's attitude kind of changed when I mentioned you two someday getting married and all..." She started, not entirely sure how to phrase her question.
Laney nodded as she looked at the floor. "He is in no way against getting married when the time is right," she assured. "But children... he doesn't want anyone to have a part Jotun child."
"Why? I've treated several half Jotun children. I can't even begin to tell you how adorable they are! And they are so sweet. I could go on forever!"
"He's very uncomfortable with his true heritage. I hate that he calls himself a monster, and it's because of how he was raised. Frigga has apologized to him, but I do not know if Loki and Odin will ever have a relationship."
Desi nodded. "If that's his only objection to children, I think you just need to catch him in his Jotun form. Once he sees that you accept him, he will see that you would also accept his children."
Laney blushed. "I would love to see it if I am honest. God Desi... I worship this man no matter how he looks. I love him."
Desi giggled. "Show him that, that his heritage doesn't change anything. I don't understand the Æsir hate for the Jotnar." She said truthfully.
"I don't get it either. I know that treaties never worked and they always argued, but that was when Laufey was King. He's dead now." Laney sighed, then stood. "The subject upsets me about how things were done with Loki... maybe we should start getting ready."
"Hey... I wasn't trying to upset you. I just wasn't raised with that hate. Whatever went wrong, Loki wasn't part of that. You know healers don't get to pick clients. I really have worked with Jotnar children, and I don't see them any different from any other race." She said truthfully.
"I know Desi, it's alright." Laney walked up to a cupboard and opened it, sifting through clothes. "I'm more upset at Loki's step father than anyone. I couldn't imagine being raised to dislike a race, only to find out that's what you are."
Desi nodded. "I can very easily understand Loki's reaction. But that can't be changed, so we have to show him the real truth... how the Jotnar are decent people." She said with a smile. "My dress is in my chambers, we can run by there after you get ready."
Laney nodded as she pulled out a pale blue dress to wear. "We still have a lot of time, plus your chambers are just down the hall right?"
"Yes. I think just a few doors down." She said, then stretched out on the couch. "What if he does ask me to dance? Will the king even allow it?"
"Yes," she replied with a chuckle as she stripped off her swim clothes and did a simple spell so she wouldn't need to shower. Magic sessions with Frigga have been helpful. She found undergarments and quickly put them on before she slipped the dress over her head. "Odin and Frigga will not mind if Thor asks you to dance. They may even join in as well as me and Loki."
"I was more meaning the potential scandal of some random girl showing up and winning a dance with the future king, only to leave a few days later." She giggled, then looked over at Laney. "How do you always look so cute?"
She laughed as she pulled her hair back into a bun. "I'm sure as long as you keep visiting they won't mind." Laney sounds in a circle making the dress flare out. "Do you think Loki will like me in blue?"
"I'm definitely going to keep visiting," Desi promised. "I think he will. Dressed in blue, you can be his Jotun bride!" She grinned, loving the idea.
"We'll see this evening then." Laney slipped on a pair of flats then clapped her hands. "Are you ready to go get dressed?"
"I am, but only if you cheer up. We will help him past all this, I promise. I've heard the Jotnar make great daddies." She grinned, just trying to tease at the moment. "Let's go get my dress!" She got up and took Laney's arm, walking out with her.
A blush filled Laney's cheeks as she walked with Desi down the hall and to her rooms. "I've had that thought now and then... but I'm not sure Loki has ever been around children."
"Get his mother to grant a visit to my post. He can meet some half Jotun children in person and see how cute they are!" Desi suggested, then opened her door for them. Her chambers were somewhat smaller, but still larger than average and very nice.
"Maybe... that would take time," Laney replied as she sat on the edge of Desi's bed. "We're lucky he's able to do what he is now."
"I didn't mean right now. Just in the future. Do you know if his horns have started to come in yet?" She asked curiously as she walked towards the bathroom.
Laney furrowed her brow. "Horns?"
"Yes, some of the Jotnar develop horns. I don't think you'd see them in his current form, but he would still feel them, no matter what form he takes." She explained and stripped down to quickly clean up from the pond.
"I am not sure. Frigga told me he was a lot smaller than he should have been as an infant. A runt."
"I'm not sure that would affect horns, but I can't say for sure. I will make up something, just in case. It can be a sore process." She walked out in only a towel, but her hair was down now. Going to her larger travel bag, she pulled out undergarments and a red off the shoulder dress. Discarding the towel, she pulled on the clothes, then walked over to the desk to grab her brush.
"That is sweet of you Desi. He may not even know about it." Upon seeing the dress, Laney looked at Desi from top to bottom. "Thor is going to be a puddle of mush when he sees you."
Desi blushed a deep red and focused on quickly brushing through her hair, then pulled her matching shoes on. "Compared to the dresses here, he won't even notice me." She mumbled shyly. "If Loki ever needs anything, don't hesitate to ask. I'm decently familiar with Jotnar development and have no preconceived hate." She promised, both to be a good friend and good healer.
Laney nodded as she stood. "I will remember that." Just as she let her hair out of its bun and put the leather tie around her wrist, there was a knock on the door.
"The evening meal awaits," a maid called.
"Thank you!" Laney answered in return.
Desi tensed up, then started fidgeting with her dress. "Maybe I should just eat in here..."
"I don't think so missy," Laney grumbled, then grabbed her arm. "You're coming with me dressed the way you are. Besides, I think the guys are waiting on us."
Desi gave a little nod and walked out with Laney, closing the door behind them. "No trying to make him notice me though. I'm perfectly fine with just having a quiet meal if he doesn't." She insisted as they walked down the corridor.
"Alright, I won't. I promise," she replied sweetly.
Laney and Desi made their way to the small dining hall that was only for family, smiling and chatting as they entered through the doorway. When Laney looked across the room she could see Loki as he stood with a flute of mead in hand as he spoke with Thor, wearing a white button up shirt and simple trousers. He likes being dressed down...
Desi kept her head down, not really wanting to be noticed given how nervous she was to be dining with the royal family. Meanwhile when Loki glanced up and saw Laney, he nearly shoved his flute into Thor's hands, not caring that some mead was spilled. He quickly crossed the room and greeted Laney with a soft, loving kiss. "You look absolutely incredible darling." He told her softly, unintentionally making Desi feel awkward since she was right next to them.
"Thank you," Laney replied, a bright blush present on her face. "You look handsome as well."
"Perhaps, but it is my honor to dine with the most stunning woman in this realm." Loki said, pouring on his charm as he offered Laney his arm.
Thor placed the flutes on a nearby table and shook his hands of the spilled mead before he looked towards where Loki had gone. Oh my gods. "She's a vision," he murmured, rooted where he stood.
"Stop staring and go talk to her then." Frigga chuckled, having walked up to stand beside Thor while he was distracted.
Thor blushed at being heard and cleared his throat. "I do not know mother..."
"There is no harm in just talking. And, as you know, it is your job to be a good host when we have guests." Frigga encouraged.
"Yes ma'am," he answered. Thor took a deep breath before he walked across the room and smiled at them all. "Evening Laney, Desi."
"Good evening, your highness." Desi said, giving a polite curtsey. She wasn't entirely sure if it was required, but she didn't want to risk offending the entire royal family.
"There's no need for that now, we're all friends and family here," he replied as he gently took Desi's hand and placed a kiss to the back of it. "You look stunning tonight."
Desi blushed bright red. "Thank you." She said shyly.
"Come along, the meal is nearly served." Loki told them all.
Laney tucked against Loki's arm with a soft smile and watched as Thor offered his arm for Desi to take, which she did so shyly. "What are we having tonight?"
"I think the main course is a roasted meat. Mother once again insisted the chef make the... other food for me." He sighed, too stubborn to admit he liked the Jotun food. He led them to the table, and pulled out Laney's chair for her.
Thor pulled out Desi's chair and helped her scoot inward before he sat beside her, just as Laney sat in her seat. "I'm eager to eat most anything," Laney admitted, "Swimming has made me hungry."
"Me as well," Thor commented with a chuckle.
Almost as soon as they had sat down, servers brought trays of food out and set them along the table, making a rather large feast. The only exception was Loki, who was directly served his plate. "Oh good, food for monsters..." he grumbled out loud. It does smell really good... was the thought he didn't want to admit.
"Loki," Laney chastised gently as she caressed his knee under the table. "Just taste it. If you do not like it, then don't eat it." She began to serve herself food along with everyone else, making sure to grab some of the Jotun fruit that was sat out.
Loki nodded and quit his complaining, not wanting to complain to the point of losing the food. He took a bite of roasted meat and chilled vegetables. Gods this is so good...
After taking a bite of food Laney checked on Loki to see that he was enjoying his food. "Like it?" She asked softly.
Loki gave a little shrug. "I guess it's alright." He muttered, but ate very contently.
She chuckled as she ate a piece of fruit, then looked across to Desi. "The bright pink fruit is from Jotunheim."
Desi looked over, then took a piece of the fruit and took a bite. "Oh my gods, this is sweeter than candy. Now I see where their sweet tooth comes from." She giggled.
Laney smiled at her. "Right? It's so good."
Thor looked at the fruit before he stabbed it with his fork and ate a bite, savoring the sweetness. "This is brilliant. I am glad you got these mother."
Frigga looked over at Thor and smiled. "Would you like to try some of the other dishes? I can have more of the foods incorporated into our meals." She offered him. It might even make Loki more comfortable, to have more of us eating it with him...
"I would enjoy that mother," Thor answered honestly.
Meanwhile Odin, who sat beside Frigga, smiled at him. Always the good big brother.
Frigga picked up a small bowl that had the bright pink fruit. "Would you like to try a piece?" She boldly offered Odin.
Odin stared at the fruit before he glanced at Loki, seeing that he was now eyeing him. He silently nodded and took a piece and popped it in his mouth. "This is quite good. I like the texture," he commented.
Frigga gave a big smile and nodded to the servers to bring out a larger variety of Jotun foods for everyone to enjoy. This might finally be a turning point for them...
Laney's eyes lit up at watching Odin. This is the first time I've really seen him try to connect to Loki, even if it's not directly.
Frigga made Odin a plate of just the Jotun foods for him to try. "I think you will enjoy the meat, it has a stronger flavor." She explained. When she glanced over at Loki again, she saw he had returned to his meal and nearly cleaned his plate.
Odin patted Frigga's hand and tucked into his meal, quickly finding that he rather enjoyed the food.
Before long the whole group had eaten their fill and were leaning back in their seats with stuffed bellies. "I do not think I can eat a thing more," Thor complained.
Frigga put her fork down when she was finished, feeling extremely happy. "I best talk to the merchant, we will need a larger food order!" She said, beaming with joy and how they all joined in with the meal.
"Just remember to balance it correctly, Jotun food is much higher in protein and fat than what everyone is used to." Desi told Frigga, her healer side kicking in.
Laney smiled and took a sip of her water before she scooted closer to Loki and leaned her head on his shoulder. "It was still yummy."
"It is very good, no doubt! They need the higher protein and fat due to the cold. I can talk with the chef to keep the balance good." Desi offered.
Loki wrapped his arm around Laney and held her close. It would be kind of funny if it turned Odin into a monster for a day...
Frigga nodded. "That would be lovely Desi, thank you. Would all of you like to move to the sitting room?" She asked.
"Alright, but I am not sure how long we will stay." Loki told his mother. He stood and offered his hand to Laney. "Will you join me?" He asked, flashing that charming smile again.
"Always," Laney replied as she took his hand.
Thor stood as well and held out his hand to Desi. "M'lady?"
Desi blushed but took Thor's hand and stood up. "Thank you, your highness." She said sweetly and glanced over at Laney, feeling nervous.
"Desi, you can call me Thor," he replied sweetly as he began to lead her into the next room, following the rest of the group.
"I will try to remember that. We have just been very well taught in how to address royalty." She explained shyly, walking with him.
He patted her hand as they entered the room. "It's alright."
Desi blushed again. When they walked in, she watched to see where Laney would sit, wanting to stay close to her best friend. "Do you mind if we sit with Laney?" She asked Thor.
"I do not," he replied as he sat on the other side of Laney and scooted to let Desi sit beside her.
Desi sat down between Laney and Thor and folded her hands on her lap.
Loki relaxed some on the couch and wrapped his arm around Laney's shoulders, playing with a strand of her hair. He felt as she snuggled against him, which made him tighten his grip.
"Are we still going back tonight?" Laney whispered as she looked up at him.
"Of course, that is why I said we wouldn't stay long." Loki whispered in reply, then pressed a soft kiss to her neck, just under her ear.
Laney did her best to hide the shiver that ran up her spine both from his words and his lips on her skin. The best she could do was grip onto his knee and clear her throat as she heard Loki chuckle deeply.
Thor raised an eyebrow at his brother, then smirked. "Someone is enjoying themselves," he said quietly.
Loki looked over at Thor and grinned. "Of course I am. I have the woman of my dreams and life is perfect." He said happily, making Frigga smile at how positive his attitude was.
"I am happy to see you both happy," Thor replied just as two men walked in carrying small boxes, containing violins.
"You should try it, happy looks good on you." Loki chuckled, then glanced over at the men. "Would you like to dance?" He whispered to Laney.
"I would love to," she replied, then kissed his cheek.
Smiling, Loki stood and bowed to Laney, offering his hand again.
"I get the next dance!" Desi told them, grinning.
"With me?" Loki asked her, confused.
"No silly, with Laney!" Desi giggled.
Thor chuckled as the music began to fill the room. "Why not with me?" He asked.
Desi blushed but looked over at Thor. "If you want to dance, I promised I would accept." She reminded him.
He grinned widely. "Yes you did."
Desi gave Thor a little smile, then watched Laney and Loki dance gracefully around the room.
After watching them dance for the first couple of songs, Thor stood and offered Desi his hand. "Would you like to dance?"
Desi blushed and took his hand, letting him help her up. "Yes please." She said with a sweet smile. It's just a dance... she reminded herself.
Thor took her hand and placed a kiss upon it before he led her to the middle of the floor and gently spun her around before beginning to dance.
Desi grabbed his arm to steady herself, and was surprised at how graceful Thor was. "Your brother does not appreciate your dancing skills."
"I bet not," he answered with a chuckle. "But I have recently gotten better, so there is that," he stated as he spun her around once more, loving how her dress flowed around her.
After the spin, Desi returned right to his arms, placing her hand on his chest to steady herself. "Did you have someone to teach you?" She asked curiously and smiled at Laney when they passed by each other.
Thor shrugged. "My mother likes to help us out on remembering things," he replied as he placed his hand atop hers on his chest, the other still on the small of her back.
"She is a very kind woman, I hope to have the chance to know her better." Desi said truthfully. It wasn't Jane... she couldn't help but think, with relief. "Can you really summon lightning?"
"Yes sweet lady, I can," he replied. "Mjölnir helps with that."
Desi blushed at how he addressed her. "Do you... think you could show me sometime?" She asked shyly.
A wide grin appeared on his face as he spun them around. "Of course! Maybe sometime tomorrow?"
She spun gracefully with him, narrowly avoiding bumping into Laney. "Tomorrow would be perfect!" She said happily. "Is it true no one else can lift Mjölnir?"
He nodded. "Only the person worthy can lift it, yes."
"Is anyone else worthy, or just you?" She asked curiously.
Thor spun her around as the song ended and smiled down at her. "So far, it's only me."
Desi met his eyes and returned his smile, feeling butterflies in her stomach. "A very impressive weapon for a very impressive warrior."
"Why thank you," he replied sweetly, still holding her hand to his chest.
Meanwhile Laney grinned as she stood curled against Loki's side, watching them. "They look good together," she murmured, "They really do."
"Indeed, but convincing my brother of that will be difficult. I think he is afraid of being hurt again." Loki explained, holding Laney close.
"I think he will see soon enough," Laney answered. "When would you like to sneak away?"
"I am ready whenever you are." Loki said, his voice mildly seductive.
She raised an eyebrow at him as she rested a hand on his chest, then looked around the room. "Will they miss us?"
Loki shrugged. "Maybe, but they know us well enough to not be surprised." He chuckled. With his arm still around her, he turned them to face the door, then walked out with her.
Laney followed right beside him as they walked down the hallways of the palace. "Are we stopping by our rooms or going straight to the pond?"
"I was thinking we would go straight to the pond, but we can go by our room if you want." He assured her, happy with whatever she wanted.
She shook her head and smirked. "I'm following your lead for the moment handsome, so take me where you wish."
Loki looked down at Laney, giving her a mischievous smirk. "Are you sure you don't want to rephrase that?" He asked playfully. He decided to lead her out to the pond, bypassing their room. The moon was full, providing more than enough light, and the night breeze was comfortably cool.
When they reached the water once more, Laney hopped on the large rock they had jumped from that afternoon and untied her dress, letting it pool at her feet, showing her bare body beneath the moon. Perks of magic. She turned and faced him, a sly smile on her face. "I don't think I want to rephrase anything," she stated boldly, then turned and jumped into the water.
Loki watched as she jumped into the water. He ran onto the rocks and jumped, clothes vanishing right before he hit the water. Righting himself, he tried to look for her underwater, finding it difficult in the dark.
Laney surfaced and pushed her hair from her face so she could look around. "Loki?" She called.
Loki grinned when he saw Laney's legs. He swam over and lightly ran his hands up her legs as he surfaced. "What if I want to take you here?" He asked playfully.
Holding in a scream, she turned at the sound of his voice. Her heart hammered in her chest as she swept his hair from his eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck. "What if I were to let you?" She whispered back.
"I guess we'll just have to find out." He told her, letting his fingers slide down her stomach, slowly, to tease her.
She grinned as she let her hands trail from his neck, down his chest. "I'm not going to lie," she purred, bending to kiss his neck, "I'm eager to find out what you will do."
He shifted closer and kissed her softly, then slipped his hand between her legs to gently rub her folds. He had to lower himself in the water, but he was up to the challenge of pleasuring her while wading.
Laney moaned into his mouth as she returned the kiss. One hand travelled into his wet hair, while the other trailed down his stomach until she found what she searched for and ran her hand slowly along his growing length.
Loki groaned softly into the kiss then carefully worked two of his fingers into Laney's inner warmth. The position was more of a challenge, but the way she reacted made it worth it.
She moved her lips from his mouth, to his neck, nipping at his pulse point. "Loki... I need you," she breathed.
"You will have me." He promised and began to slowly move his fingers, feeling her walls tighten in response.
She groaned as she buried her head in his neck, while she still ran her hand along his length, wanting to pleasure him just as much. He quickly grew fully erect in her hand, moaning softly in time with her strokes. The pleasure he felt encouraged him to move his fingers faster. "Shit," Laney gasped as she leaned back and tried to thrust into his hand. "Loki, I'm close."
He quickened his pace, feeling her core nearly pulsing for him. "Give in and just enjoy it." He told her, breathless himself and nearly at his peak as well.
Laney searched out his lips as she felt her climax wash over her, her hand tightening in his hair. She did her best not to hurt him with a tight grip as she did her best to continue her ministrations for him.
Loki captured her lips with his and pressed the tip of his tongue against the part in her lips, asking for access, eagerly delving into her mouth when she gave it to him. He didn't pull his fingers from her until her climax was over. Gods she's beautiful...
She slowly pulled away and rested her forehead against his, feeling herself tremble. "You always leave me breathless," she whispered.
"I will take that as a compliment." Loki grinned. "Shall we swim now?" He chuckled, teasing her.
"What about you?" Laney asked, turning shy. "You haven't... released yet," she cooed as she drug one hand back down his chest, gently scraping her nails against his skin all while she slowly stroked him once more.
Loki moaned in reply, still close to his climax. While he couldn't move his hips very well in the water, he tried to buck his hips into her hand.
She bit her lip as she watched him, making sure to keep her movements slow to tease him. "I kind of like this... I have control over your pleasure like this."
He nipped her neck as he moaned again. "Yes... you... do." He panted. "Please..." he nearly begged her. I need more...
Laney gasped and tilted her head back, feeling herself becoming aroused again. She slowly quickened her pace, squeezing his hip with her free hand. God his voice does things to me...
"Gods, Laney." He groaned, then bit into her shoulder as his climax washed over him. He bucked his hips into her hand harder, drawing out his pleasure.
She groaned at the feeling of Loki's teeth marking her flesh as she helped him ride through his climax. When Laney felt him go lax in her arms, she gently let go of him and held onto his hips.
When Loki let go of her shoulder he pressed his forehead to hers while he caught his breath, then he kissed her softly. "You can bring me so much pleasure in the simplest ways." He said after the quick kiss.
"I can say the same about you," she murmured, then kissed the tip of his nose. "Do you want to relax in the water for a bit? Or go inside?"
"I am fine with whatever you want darling." Loki said truthfully and leaned in to kiss her again.
Laney slowly kissed him back, her arms snaking back around his neck. When she pulled away she nipped his bottom lip, then smirked at him. "The water is starting to feel a little chilly sweetheart."
Loki smiled at the endearment. I better not risk the monster form showing... he thought to himself when she mentioned the temperature of the water. "Inside it is then darling." He said sweetly and helped her back to shore.
Once her feet hit the sand she wrapped her arms around herself as she looked over at her dress. "I don't regret any of this, but I am cold."
Loki conjured his best fur lined cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. It wrapped around her to fully hide her body. "This will keep you warm, until we get into our room." He assured her. He walked over to where their clothes were and picked up his pants, pulling them on, but not bothering with the rest.
"You're so sweet," she replied as she stood and waited for him. "Do you want me to hold anything?"
"No love, I will send someone to come collect the rest of our clothes." He explained, then returned to her, wrapping his arm around her. The night air had turned chilly so he hurried them, worried it might trigger his true form.
"Alright." Laney walked quickly beside him, not questioning his urgency aloud. It wasn't long before they made it back to their rooms and she walked to the bed and climbed beneath the blankets.
Loki went right over to the fire to warm his now icy skin. "Did you enjoy the swim?" He asked her, hoping they could sneak out to the pond again sometime.
Laney grinned as she cocooned herself in the blankets. "I did. Very much."
Loki turned his back on the fire and walked over to the bed. "I warmed myself as much as I could." He said, worried his skin was still too cold. He climbed into bed, snuggling next to her under the blankets. "Would you like to visit the pond like that again in the future?"
"I would like that," she replied quietly as she rubbed his chest gently, trying to help him get warm. His skin is cold, but it's warming quickly... I wonder if I should ask him?
He placed his hand over hers on his chest. "Is something on your mind darling? You can tell me anything." He rolled to his side and propped himself on his elbow to look at her.
Laney found herself shrugging. "I don't want to upset you," she admitted.
Loki gave Laney a look, suspecting the general topic on her mind. "Go ahead. Even if it is upsetting, open communication is very important."
She reached up and caressed his cheek, then pecked his lips. "While talking with Desi today, she mentioned something that you could be going through and I am curious if you are or not."
"I don't think I'm going through anything..." He told her. But how would I know if I was?
"You haven't had any recent headaches or pain?" She asked.
He thought about it, wanting to give her an honest answer. "I have had pain in my head off and on since the... since I returned to Asgard." He admitted, not thinking much about it.
She reached up and ran her fingers across his forehead. "Desi mentioned that it was a possibility for you to develop horns," she said, speaking warily.
Loki tensed up and rolled onto his back. "I don't have horns." He said, clearly upset. "I'm not that much of a monster."
Laney sighed and moved to rest on his chest. "Baby, you are not a monster," she whispered as tears welled in her eyes. "I wish you wouldn't call yourself one."
He looked away, but made no attempt to move away from her. "I am though. I was raised on the stories of the monsters. The last thing I want is horns." He said, but mixed into the anger was a tone of fear. He lifted his hand and ran it across his forehead.
"Hey," she cooed as she grasped his chin and made him look at her. "I love you, so much that I cannot live without you Loki. It does not matter to me what you are, but who you are." A couple of tears escaped her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she spoke. "I hate to see you hurting like this. I wish there was a way I could take away your pain."
He lowered his hand from his forehead and gently brushed her tears away. "If you saw me as I truly am, it would change your mind." He said, heartbroken by the very thought of losing her.
Laney quickly shook her head and narrowed her eyes at him as she became more upset. "I could never change my mind," she sniffled, "Ever Loki," she added firmly.
"You haven't seen that side, but I have. It is hideous. I know you feel like nothing could change your mind, but you've never been face to face with a thing like that." He said sadly. Pulling away, he got out of bed and walked over to the balcony and leaned against the doorway.
She huffed and followed his movements as she sat up in bed. She stared at him and tried to imagine him with blue skin and the known Jotun ridges that would show throughout his body. I could never change how I feel. Laney found herself staring into the fire across from the bed while tears still streamed down her face.
He didn't turn to look at her, too ashamed to face her right now. "They started coming in just before your first visit to my cell." He admitted, barely loud enough for her to hear.
Laney looked over at him, then silently stood and walked over to him before she wrapped her arms around his waist and placed a lingering kiss to his back. "I still love you Loki. I don't care if you're different, I will always love you."
"As soon as they finish coming in, I will be a full fledged monster. Horns, red eyes, all of it. I struggle every day to control that side, but I know I'll slip up someday and you'll see it." He spoke softly, his voice full of emotion. And then I'll lose you again...
"I wish I could get through to you," she whispered, "I wish you could see what I see when I look at you, feel how I do when you touch me or hold me." Laney pressed her head against his back and sighed. "Loki... when I thought you were dead... I lost myself to the grief. I refused to eat and I couldn't sleep. I became suicidal."
Loki gave a soft, frustrated sigh. "I'm not worth that, worth your life. I need you to promise me you will never even consider harming yourself again. Promise me." He told her, needing to hear it. I need to know you'll be safe when you finally do see me...
"It took a year for Desi to get me almost back to normal, but I never lost the nightmares," she continued to explain, ignoring his comment for now. "Then Frigga wrote me a year later. A very lengthy letter, telling me you were alive and what had happened on Midgard. I never even thought of refusing to come here."
"She should have left you out of it. I still need to confront her about that," Loki said, still frustrated about it. He finally turned to face her. "I would have given anything to have you through all that. You're the only one who could have kept me sane." Maybe I wouldn't have ended up in the void...
Laney took a step back and crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm glad she told me. I would not be here standing in front of you right now if she didn't."
Loki furrowed his brow when he looked at her. "Why are you so glad to be here, accusing me of growing horns?" He asked, both in frustration but also sincerely curious.
Her eyes widened in shock. "I was asking for your health. Desi can make you something to ease the pain. I'm happy to be with you Loki, if only you would let me in." She shook her head as more tears welled in her eyes. You've hurt me Loki...
He turned away again, ashamed of his outburst. "Is that why you brought her here? Because she knows about the Jotnar?" He asked, but this time, it truly was just a question. "And how would I let you in? Show you my true form?"
"I asked her here because I missed her. I came here because I wanted to see for myself that you were alive." Laney turned away from him and walked to stand in front of the fire. "I want to be able to help you see that you are not what you believe yourself to be."
He wanted to reach out to her and stop her from walking away, but he stopped himself. "I have never seen anything at all to suggest the Jotnar are any different than I've been told for my entire life."
She quickly looked up and met his eyes, her own hard. "You are the difference Loki. You are nothing like what you have been taught, what you have been told. They are peaceful from what I have seen... and met."
Loki gave her a confused look, not sure of what to say. "You... you've met others... like me?" He stammered, struggling to wrap his head around that.
"I've met one," Laney said as she held up a finger. " A tiny orphan baby girl. I watched over her for a few days at the clinic Desi is stationed at until she was adopted by a Yamir family. They were elated to have a child to call their own fore they could not conceive."
He shook his head, unable to process and believe what he was hearing. "There is no way you could be standing here talking to me or touching me as you have, if you truly knew what I look like."
"Oh really?" She challenged. "Do you mean that if I knew you have raised ridges throughout your body that makes each person unique? Or if I knew Jotun infants are a darker blue when they're born so they can stay warmer because they are able to take in more heat from light?"
Loki just stared at her in disbelief. How can she bear to look at me? Was all he could wonder. He finally let his gaze fall to the floor, feeling completely lost.
"Loki," she said softly as she walked back up to him and took his hand in hers. "I know for a fact that if I thoroughly enjoy how you look now, I will find your Jotun form as beautiful as I found that baby girl." She looked down at their joined hands and smiled. "I was actually close to adopting the baby myself, but the family Desi found was more deserving."
He finally looked up, letting her see that he had shed a few tears of his own. "How can you even stand to look at me, knowing what I truly look like?" He finally asked, unable to hide the pain behind the question. "You are deserving of all the children you desire..." he added softly. But you deserve better than monster children...
"I couldn't take a baby from a family that had tried for their own for so long." She wiped away his tears and grasped his chin to bring his lips down to hers for a gentle kiss. "I look at you because you are my Loki. My devilishly handsome, smart, caring, mischievous, and loving Loki."
He returned her kiss, then finally wrapped his arms around her and clung to her. He sniffled into her shoulder, refusing to let her go for the moment.
Laney hugged her to him tightly with one arm around his waist, the other on the back of his head. "I love you so much," she whispered as she placed kisses to his neck and shoulder. "I could never bear the thought of ever losing you again."
Loki took a deep breath to calm himself. "I love you too, more than anything. I promise you'll never lose me." He whispered to her. They held each other for a few moments before he decided to speak again. "They do hurt... the horns." He finally admitted.
A tiny grin came to Laney's face. "I'll tell Desi to make you something. Would that be okay?" She asked as she rubbed his back.
He nodded. "Yes, that's alright. I... I'm still not ready to show my true self to anyone, but I will try to be better about discussing things... like the horns." He promised Laney, relaxing in her arms.
"I will tell her then, and all in due time my kjærlighet," she replied, deciding to use a Jotun word she'd picked up in writing Desi owned.
Loki smiled at the term she used and lifted her chin to kiss her softly. "I don't know how I am so lucky to have someone as amazing as you." He released her and took her hand, leading her back to bed.
Laney let him lead her back to bed and eagerly climbed back beneath the blankets. "I feel the same way about you."
He climbed into bed next to her. Laying on his side, he wrapped his arm around her. "Thank you for accepting me." He said softly, feeling emotionally exhausted. "For the record, I think you would be a great mom."
She curled up against him and entwined her legs with his. "You will always be accepted by me Loki," she murmured, feeling herself blush. "I also believe you would be an excellent father."
Loki tensed again at the mention of being a father. "Maybe we will adopt someday." He suggested, hoping the thought would make her happy.
"Loki, my acceptance of you includes you being the father of my children," Laney whispered, feeling her eyes getting heavy. "I accept and love all of you."
It's me Laney. I don't know that I could accept my own children... he mentally kicked himself, but was not ready to voice those fears. "I love you too." He said softly, letting her drift off to sleep.
kjærlighet - love
