Aurors were meant to deal with dangerous tasks, but this...this definitely took the cake.

James winced as the hot curling iron poked him in the cheek again. "Watch it," he snapped.

Lily stifled a giggle. He was just grumpy because he had been chosen for this particular assignment. This particular assignment forced him to do something that stripped him of his manhood.

James Potter was going drag.

"Why didn't he choose Sirius for this mission?" James complained for the tenth time that afternoon. "He has more feminine features than I do!"

"Because Sirius, even as a girl, is pretty recognizable," Lily said. "You, on the other hand…"

James scowled. Stupid Auror missions.


Ten agonizing minutes later, Lily finally stopped curling his hair and let him see himself in the mirror. What he saw made him want to quit his job.

Long, curly black hair cascading down his back. His eyebrows were penciled in and his eyes — Lily was making him wear colored contact lenses, so his eyes were bright blue instead of hazel. She had lined his eyelid with some kind of black liquid. She had left his eyelashes alone, thankfully, since they were naturally long. She had smeared some skin-colored paste over his face, dabbed blush on his cheeks, and completed the look with ruby lipstick.

Next time he saw Moody, he was going to kill him.

"See, you don't look bad," Lily said cautiously, trying to appease his wounded ego. "You make a handsome girl."

"...Do I?" James asked uncertainly, squinting. "I wish I could wear glasses."

"Glasses are too much of a giveaway," Lily reminded him, "especially yours. I'd bet the Death Eaters have studied and memorized your features since you tend to be on the attacking team so much."

"You're right," he said, resigned. "But it still looks weird if I'm squinting all the time. Isn't there a spell or potion of some sort that can improve my vision?"

Lily sighed. "There is," she said, "but it will take too long to make. We don't have that much time. The mission is tonight."

"I know."

A beat of silence.

"...So, what dress am I wearing?"


"You've got to be kidding me." James stared at his reflection, disgusted. "I have more respect for women now."

Lily wasn't even trying to contain her laughter — she was currently doubled over, laughing at James's expense. Laughing.

James couldn't tear his eyes away, because it was impossible to. His dress was a slinky number, designed for a night out. The dress was at least long, to hide his unshaved legs (they'd been running out of time and James kept complaining). It was black and had a high neck, halter-style (that's what Lily called it), and was sleeveless. In other circumstances, it would've looked fantastic on a woman.

Not when the woman was actually a man masquerading as a woman.

"W-Wow, I think y-you look better than m-me in that dress," Lily forced out between peals of laughter.

James tried for a pout, but it looked more like he was constipated, which caused his to wife choke.

"...I quit," he said.


522 words

Auction - Prompt: Auror

Insane House: 953. New and Improved