Maura finds Aarna crying in the stairwell. Maura isn't always proficient in the human emotion department but she tries. Maura pulls Aarna in to her arms and holds her, letting the woman sob on her shoulder. Maura rubs her back and makes a shushing sound that usually proved effective with her young clinic patients. Aarna balls her fists in to Maura's shirt, clinging, barely standing under her own weight as grief over took her. Maura remembered the feeling. How many times had she collapsed in some hospital stairwell on Jane's behalf? She wouldn't let Aarna go through this alone. So Maura held her, rocking and shushing. 'She's alive, Aarna,' Maura says softly, 'she's alive.'
'She is?' Aarna whimpers, her voice a torrent of pain and relief.
'She's alive,' Maura confirms. Maura sways and rubs soothing circles. She comforts and she comforts and she comforts until Aarna pulls away, wiping her tears away.
'I should have let Jane finish her sentence,' Aarna says, shame written on her face, 'I probably should apologise.'
'Jane will understand,' Maura promises softly.
Aarna nods, 'I'm sorry about your shirt.'
Maura barely glanced at the garment which now had a sizeable wet stain on it. She touched Aarna's cheek tenderly, 'don't worry about it.' Maura looped her arm around Aarna's and pulled her back towards the waiting room. 'Let's go see what we can find out.'
'…Out of surgery now,' a doctor wearing scrubs was talking to Jane now, 'she's stable now but we'll have to wait and see.'
Jane nodded, thanking the man before catching Maura's eyes, pain written all over her face. Then Jane's attention shifts to Aarna love and concern discernibly evident on Jane's face without so much as a hint of anger and Maura remembers exactly why she loves Jane with all her heart. This fierce, loving, beautiful soul who held Maura's heart so completely, she loved others so deeply. Maura crosses the space, placing her hand on Jane's lower back, trying to communicate love and sorrow and support all in a touch. Maura thinks, maybe, Jane understands, her eyes radiating gratitude as she smiles at Maura.
'Doctor,' Maura interrupted the man, 'I'm Doctor Maura Isles, formerly the Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts. I'd like to ask you a few questions, please.'
The man nodded, his face a professionally somber veneer, but Maura could see the dark circles under his eyes. The look of a man who had spent the sunrise in a complicated multi-hour surgery. Maura asked several cursory follow up questions and upon ascertaining that Noemi truly was alright, Maura asked 'when can we see her?"
'It's family only, I'm afraid,' the surgeon said.
'Then you'll want Aarna here,' Maura said gesturing to the woman who was looking at Maura with unveiled hope, 'her sister.'
The surgeons eyebrows raised, 'her sister?'
Maura challenged the look, 'is that a problem?'
The surgeon frowned but shook his head no, 'not at all. I'll show her back.'
'Please do,' Maura said with a smile, 'I would very much like to inform the governor how impressed I am by the level of care and dedication your staff has shown to one of our nations finest.' It was a thinly veiled threat, wrapped politely in a compliment. It was a language Maura was well versed in, thanks to her upbringing. The man inclined his head and excused himself with a smile, gesturing for Aarna to come with. Aarna sent her a grateful look before disappearing from view. Maura, whose hand was still on Jane's back, guides Jane away from the others and back in to the stairwell. Maura sits, patting the step next to her.
'Is she really going to be okay?' Jane asks, emotion breaking in her voice.
Maura wrapped an arm around Jane's shoulder, holding her close, 'yes she is. They had some trouble stopping the bleeding and they had to reconstruct her scapula with pins and she'll have a fair amount of rehabilitation to complete but she'll make a full recovery.'
Jane nodded, her head falling miserably on Maura's shoulder, 'I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just… there was nothing you could do and I didn't want either one of you rushing to get here if it was unsafe.'
Maura hummed, pressing a kiss to Jane's head, 'I can understand that even if I don't approve. Aarna realised something must be wrong around dawn. I could see terror on her face the whole way over.'
'What about you?' Jane asked sorrowfully.
'A few minutes after you called. I realised there was no reason for Noemi to be going to the hospital with Cailin unless she'd been hurt,' Maura stroked Jane's hair gently, careful to not snag any tangles in her fingers, 'I realised you were deflecting by telling a technical truth.'
Jane nods, sniffling, 'have you seen Cailin yet?'
Maura nods, 'she and Hope were sound asleep when I walked by on the way up.' Maura smiled at the memory of her mother and sister curled together, sound asleep and perfectly safe.
'And the dogs?'
'We dropped them at home before coming here. I realised we couldn't leave them in the cold in the car,' Maura supplied, content to sit holding Jane. Her fingers exploring Jane's form, searching without Maura even realising it.
'I'm not hurt,' Jane mumbles, pulling away to look at Maura. 'Not badly, anyways,' Jane supplies as Jane touches her cheek which is bandaged with butterfly bandages. Maura catches her left wrist, deftly unwrapping the bandages there to find a human bite mark.
'That will scar,' Maura says frowning softly as she evaluated it before rewrapping it, 'I assume its been treated?'
'Flushed with antibacterial stuff that stung like hell and then given a tetanus shot for good measure,' Jane affirms, rubbing her right bicep.
Maura smiled at Jane. 'I love you,' Maura whispers, pressing her lips to Janes. She marvels at how familiar, how safe, how perfect those lips are.
'You do?' Jane murmurs back, wetness in her eyes.
'I do,' Maura replies softly, 'and I'm so glad you aren't hurt.'
'I'm sorry,' Jane says a hint of her familiar taunt in her voice, 'did you not see that hit?'
Maura chuckled, 'I'll admit that was a surprise. I was not anticipating her hitting you.'
'Maura,' Jane says in faux outrage, 'that hurt!'
Maura laughed a little harder, 'I'm sorry, would you like me to kiss it better?'
Jane sputters, her mouth opening and closing before she finally grumbles a grumpy, 'yes.'
Maura presses a kiss softly to Jane's cheek, above her cut. 'All better?' Maura asks with an indulgent smile.
Jane blushes a bright rosy red. 'Yes, thank you' she murmurs softly. There's a sort of pleasant quiet stretched between them. Maura lets her hand find Jane's, intertwining their fingers. She didn't know how Jane always got her to laugh, even in her hardest moments. Maura rested her head on Jane's shoulder. 'I could relate to what Aarna was feeling.'
'Oh?' Jane asks.
'Yes, I've cried in a few stairwells over you.'
Jane looked sheepish over that, 'hopefully not recently.'
'No,' Maura replied steadily, 'though last night came close.' Her free fingers traced the bandage on Jane's arm, as though they were considering precisely how close she'd come.
Jane sighed, resting her cheek on the crown of Maura's head. 'Maura?' Jane whispers, her voice echoing in the stairwell.
'Yes Jane?'
Jane pauses, Maura can feel her moving, swallowing hard. Maura squeeze's Jane's hands tightly. Maura isn't sure what she expects but it isn't, 'Paddy was there.'
'What?' Maura can't tell how she feels, shocked and aghast or not surprised at all. 'What was he doing there?'
'He traded places with Cailin,' Jane said pulling away to look in Maura's eyes once more. Sadness swam in those warm brown eyes again, 'Maura, Russo shot him.' Maura gasped, her eyes welling with tears, 'he didn't make it sweetie. I'm so sorry.' Maura stares at Jane in disbelief.
'Tell me you're lying,' Maura says pulling her hand away, 'tell me it isn't true Jane.' Jane's face falls, her breath escaping from parted lips, but she remains silent. 'Jane?' Maura begs, 'tell me it isn't true.'
'I can't baby,' Jane says at last, her eyes welling with her own tears. 'Hope tried to save him but with his cancer and getting shot it was just too much.' Maura feels dazed. Numb, perhaps.
'Hope was there?' Maura can hear herself speaking but it sounds so distant.
Jane flinched, 'yeah she insisted on coming along.'
'And you let her?' Maura demands.
'Maura?' Jane asks, reaching to pull Maura in. Maura stands, brushing angrily at the wet tears on her cheeks. 'What was I supposed to do, Cailin's her daughter.'
'So you thought you'd bring her along to a shootout?' Maura shouted, her voice ringing loudly.
'I didn't bring her to a shoot out,' Jane shot back, 'I was just…'
'Trying to kill the little bit of family I have left?' Maura shouted, 'it was bad enough Cailin was taken but then you had to put yourself in danger? And then you thought, hey you know what sounds fun I'll just take her mother too!'
'That's not fair,' Jane whispers, her voice laced with hurt. 'I was just trying to do what I thought was right.'
It's the defeated sound in Jane's voice that makes Maura stop. She looks at Jane. Really looks at her. Exhaustion is written all over the lanky woman's form as she slouched on the stairs. The cut on her cheek is an angry red, puffy on its edges. She holds her wrist slightly away from the rest of world, as if cradling it. Her eyes are ringed in dark circles. Her mouth is tugged down, her eyebrows too. Maura takes a deep breath, steadying herself.
'You're right,' Maura says coming to sit with Jane again, 'that wasn't fair. I know you were doing the best you could and you kept them safe. You saved my sister.'
'But not Paddy. Not Noemi,' Jane said miserably.
'Paddy made his choice,' Maura says softly. That doesn't mean she's okay with it. It doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt but Maura needed Jane to hear the truth. 'A man like that…' Maura's voice broke with emotion, 'he'd have wanted it this way. He hated being sick. He tried so hard to hide it. And Noemi wasn't your fault. You didn't shoot them Jane. You stopped the person who did.'
'I was supposed to be her partner,' Jane said flatly, her eyes staring at the wall, 'I'm her instructor. Her mentor. But I let her get ahead. She didn't…' Jane choked up, 'she didn't see the clearing.'
'Jane,' Maura says softly, wanting to reach out but knowing Jane wouldn't want it.
'I told her she could get hurt and do you know what she told me?' Jane asks, her voice harsh, 'she said I wouldn't let her. She trusted me Maura and I let her down.'
Keeping her hands to herself was excruciating. 'Jane, look at me,' Maura says with every ounce of authority she can muster at the moment. She waits for those brown eyes to find her. 'I know you don't believe me right now but you didn't let her down. You didn't get her shot. You didn't fail her. She's a federal agent who got wounded in the line of duty. It's a risk you all take every time you work a case. Noemi is the one who got hurt this time but that isn't your fault. You're no more to blame than I am.'
Jane absorbed some of it, her guilt abating for the moment. Maura could see the light returning to her eyes. Jane sniffed, chuckling at herself, 'we're a mess huh?'
Maura laughed a teary laugh, 'I think we've both had a very rough night.'
'Ugh,' Jane groans, 'you can say that again.' She runs a shaking hand through her dark hair, clearing it from her face.
'So how about you let me take you to bed, Agent Rizzoli?' Maura asks teasingly.
'Are you propositioning me Doctor Isles?' Jane asks, a suggestive eyebrow raised.
Maura chuckles, 'is asking you to sleep with me a proposition?' They stand together, Jane slipping her right arm over Maura's shoulder as Maura wraps her left around Jane's waist, in a walking kind of embrace. Maura suspected they both needed the support.
'Yes,' Jane says cheerily, 'and I happily accept.'
'Good,' Maura says as they enter the waiting room once more, 'because you're my favourite pillow.'
'Keep sweet talkin' me Isles,' Jane teases, her drawl interrupted by a giant yawn. Maura took in the waiting room, filled with their family. The family they had built together. Frankie and Nina had fallen asleep against each other, Nina drooling slightly on his shirt. Kiki was happily passed out on Vince's shoulder, Vince snored with his head leaned back against the wall. Angela was talking with the nurses, undoubtedly charming them in to the best coffee and the fastest updates.
Maura guided Jane to the couch, pulling her down until her head rested in Maura's lap. Maura stroked her lovers hair until Jane slipped in to sleep. Then she kept vigil, watching over the people who had fought so hard for her family the night before. The people who had never failed to keep vigil for her.
Aarna steels herself, taking a deep breath before pushing past the privacy curtain. Aarna isn't sure what to expect. Noemi is there, her skin pale but clean. Her hair has been pulled thoughtfully up out of the way. Aarna knows she'll have to thank the nurse for that. Lines and wires seemed to overwhelm Noemi's left side, plugging in to various beeping machines. A bandage wraps around Noemi's chest and left shoulder which is suspended in a sling that looks wildly uncomfortable. And for a moment, just a moment, Aarna thinks she can't do this. The idea of Noemi waking up alone, stops Aarna in her place. Aarna walks around to the right side of the bed, pulling a chair closer. She wraps her hands around Noemi's uninjured hand. She presses a kiss to her finger tips and then she waits. The doctor had assured her it would take time for the anaesthesia and pain medication to wear off. That it was all perfectly normal.
Aarna isn't sure how long she had been in Noemi's room counting her breaths when Noemi's Lola showed up. The nurse showed her in and Aarna promptly stood. 'Lola!'
'How is she?' Lola asks, moving in to Noemi's space, pressing a kiss to her forehead.
'She hasn't woken yet. The doctor says that's normal. That it just takes time. I know she'll be happy to see you,' Aarna supplies.
'What are you doing here?' Lola asks, her tone sounding worried. Aarna flinches, 'its a long story.'
Lola's eyes flash as she looks at Aarna, 'I would like to know how my granddaughter ended up in this condition and seeing as she is not awake to do so, you will tell me.'
Aarna gulped but inclined her head. Lola sits in the chair Aarna had just been occupying. Her eyes are focused on her granddaughter. Aarna nibbles her lip, considering where to start, 'I suppose this is my fault. Agent Rizzoli was finishing my final when she found out her…' Aarna paused considering her words carefully. She wasn't sure whether to out Jane and Maura to someone like Lola. 'Her soon to be sister in law had been kidnapped. Ja-Agent Rizzoli was going to go after her alone but I couldn't let her. I asked Noemi to come with.'
Wetness floods Lola's eyes, 'and she did because all she ever wanted was to help people.'
'We split up,' Aarna says softly, 'I was supposed to go with Jane. It should be me in this bed but we needed to interview a child witness in DC. Noemi said I was better suited there, she took my spot. She went with Jane.'
Lola sighed, 'of course she did. She's horrible with children. Even her own cousins.'
'I don't know exactly what happened,' Aarna continues, 'but they found the kidnapped woman. They saved her and arrested the man who did it. She's downstairs with her mother.'
With her eyes squeezed shut, Lola nodded tersely, 'then she accomplished what she intended to. My little heroine.' Aarna isn't sure what more there is to say. When the older woman begins to sob softly, Aarna decides to give the pair some privacy. She begins to edge her way to the door.
A singular sound stops her in tracks. The voice she had been terrified she would never hear again spoke, 'Aarna?' Brown eyes are peering at Aarna from that bed full of softness and adoration.
'Noie?' Aarna says, forgetting entirely about anything but the woman before her. She moves back to Noemi's side, reaching out for her uninjured hand.
'You're so pretty,' Noemi says with a big goofy grin.
Aarna chuckled, 'and you're very high.'
'I am?' Noemi asks in surprise.
'Yes, you are,' Aarna confirms, her eyes welling with tears.
'I am what?' Noemi asks, her throat scratchy.
Aarna fills a water cup holding it to Noemi's lips to drink from. 'High,' Aarna responds with a laugh.
'Hello,' Noemi says with a big grin, 'you're very pretty.'
Aarna can't help the laughter and tears that pour out of her in equal measure. She lowers her head to Noemi's hand, hiding her face as she tried to control her emotions. A throat clearing behind Aarna reminded her that they were not alone. Aarna gulped. This was going to be complicated.
'Lola?' Noemi says with surprise.
'You gave me quite the scare young lady,' Lola says sternly, her face full of fondness.
Noemi pouts. 'I'm sorry. I feel funny. Why can't I move my arm.' She looks then to her left arm, blinking twice. 'Woah,' is all she says.
'You don't remember?' Aarna asks, feeling slightly alarmed.
Noemi looks at her again, she smiles brightly, 'I remember thinking you're gorgeous.'
Aarna groans, daring to look at Lola. The woman wore a slight smile and she raised an eyebrow when their eyes met. 'I'll go inform the doctor,' the woman says, her voice full of amusement. She stepped quickly out of the room and Aarna let out a sigh of relief.
'Noie,' Aarna says softly, 'you gotta sober up. You're gonna out yourself to your Lola.' Aarna can't resist touching Noie's face with tenderness.
'Kiss me?' Noemi asks, her face some cross between puckering and pouting.
'I can't, love,' Aarna whispers sadly, 'Lola will be back any minute.'
'So kiss me fast,' Noie urges. Aarna sighs, not fully able to resist. She darts forward pressing a kiss to Noemi's lips and pulling away just as quickly. Noemi pouts, 'that was too fast. Aarna,' Noemi whines, 'I didn't even feel it.' Then she makes a bunch of kissy sounds.
Aarna lets out a puff of air in a partial chuckle, 'who knew you were so adorable when high?'
'You always think I'm adorable,' Noemi responds cheekily, 'because you love me.'
The L word. Aarna sucks in a breath. There it was. The naked, honest truth. Aarna hadn't expected their first time to be like this. She hadn't expected it to be spoken aloud when one of them was tripping but she'd come too close to losing it all last night. Aarna couldn't, wouldn't, refused to deny it. Refused to not say it. 'Yes I do love you.'
Noemi beamed, 'I knew it. You love me. Looove me.' She drew the word out obnoxiously long, making Aarna raise her eyebrows in surprise and amusement. Then she began to sing, 'Aarna and Noemi sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-s-s-s-i-n-g. First comes love. L-o-v-e.' Aarna felt her laughter bubble up, pouring out of her. Noemi stopped to watch her. When Aarna had finally managed to regain control Noemi smiled at her. 'You're so fucking beautiful,' Noemi says with awe, 'I love you so much.' Noie's eyes grow misty. Aarna takes Noemi's hand, pressing a kiss to her fingers.
'I know, love,' Aarna whispers. 'I know you do. But your Lola doesn't and we want to keep it that way. Can you help me keep this a secret?'
Noemi nods eagerly, 'secrets are fun. I like secrets. I'm a federal secret invest-invest- agent. Whats the secret?'
Aarna is saved from answering by a knock on the door and Lola and the doctor entering. In the interest of self preservation and keeping her lover's secret, Aarna slips from the room under the guise of telling the others. A firm hand grabs Aarna's wrist just as she slips out of the door. Lola gives her a small smile, 'thank you Aarna.'
'Always,' Aarna promises, meaning more than just for being there. She smiled and patted the older woman's hand warmly.
'Will you be back?' Lola asks.
'If you want me to?' Aarna asks.
'I think we both know my granddaughter would prefer it,' Lola responds, glancing over her shoulder at Noemi focusing on following the doctors flashlight. Aarna is caught off guard, wondering what exactly Lola meant.
'Then I'll be here. Can I bring you anything?'
'Coffee?' Lola supplies, 'it was a very long morning.
'You betcha,' Aarna says with a smile, 'back in a flash.' Then Lola was gone and Aarna was left to ponder this development on her own.
