The day after Christmas finds Jane and Maura in Home Depot looking at paint colours, arguing. Not over colour. In fact, Jane had yielded entirely on the colour choice. She trusted Maura's colour choice implicitly. Jane's problem was that Maura wanted to hire painters.
'Why would we hire someone to do something we can do in a couple of hours Maura?' Jane asks, irritated.
'Because they can do it faster and better,' Maura shoots back, 'we have the money. Why would we not hire a professional to do it?'
Jane huffs. 'It isn't about the money. If it was any other room, I'd say sure. Whatever. But not this one.' Maura blinks at her, an eyebrow raised in question. Jane takes a steadying breath, 'this is our kids room. It should be us painting it. You know?'
Maura's eyes open wide, 'you're nesting?'
'What?' Jane cries her voice raising an octave or several, 'I am not. I'm just saying there are some things you have to do for yourself. Painting your kids room for the first time is one of them.' Maura's eyes go soft, her face relaxing. Jane senses victory and lunges for it. 'I just want to be able to tell them, whoever they are, that we painted it for them. Not Bob the painter. You and Me.'
Maura lets out an exaggerated sigh without any real weight behind it. 'How many galleons will we need?' Jane beams and then promptly fakes her way through the rest of her answers. She'd never painted a room in her life but she understood the principles. A couple of tarps, a couple of roller brushes, and a couple of hours of work. A small fortune later and they loaded down the back of the car with every conceivable paint supply. That evening they worked together to clear the room of all the furniture, storing it in what had been Jane's room and would become the guest room. They laid down the tarps, put up painters tape and went to bed expecting to start painting the next morning.
They're 3/4ths of the way through one cream coloured wall and both mildly coated in paint when the doorbell rings followed quickly by Boston and Berry barking. The girls had been banished downstairs while Jane and Maura worked. 'I got it,' Jane says with a smile at Maura who was painstakingly outlining the trim.
'Hurry back,' Maura says teasingly, a look of adoration in her eyes.
Jane checks for dripping paint before hurrying down the stairs. She whistles the dogs aside and peeks through the door. Noemi Baccay is standing on her doorstep and judging from the look on her face, it wasn't with happy news. Jane takes a steadying breath before opening the door. 'Noie,' Jane says with a grin. The girl flinches at the nickname. Jane makes a mental note and says, 'this is a surprise. Come on in.'
Noemi steps in bending to greet the dogs, burying her face in Berry's fur. Jane steps back to the stairs and shouts up, 'hey Maur. Noemi is here. Let's take a break.'
'Be down in a minute,' Maura calls. Jane nods and walks toward the kitchen, trusting Noemi to follow when she was ready. Jane washes off the worst of the paint before assembling supplies for tea and coffee. Something told her Noemi could use the comfort. Noemi shows before Maura does, barely.
'I'm sorry for just dropping in on you like this,' Noemi says quietly, 'I just didn't know where else to go.'
Jane frowns but Maura beats her to the punch, 'nonsense. You're family Noemi. You're always welcome.' Maura smiles genuinely. She rests a hand on Noemi's sling free forearm, 'want to tell us what happened?'
Noemi is silent for so long Jane wants to use her instructor's voice to tell Noemi to report already. Instead she makes herself busy with Maura's overcomplicated coffee press. At long last Noemi speaks, 'Aarna left this morning.'
'Left?' Jane asks, confused. 'Left where?'
Noemi sighs, 'for New York. She said her superior contacted her. Asked her to on-board early.'
'Oh,' Jane says. It wasn't outside of the realm of possibility but it didn't explain the bleak look on Noemi's face. 'Do you not believe her?'
'No,' Noemi says sadly, 'I do. It's just…' Noemi trails off. 'It's like she's trying to get me to break up with her.'
'What makes you say that?' Maura asks, glancing at Jane with a hint of sadness in her eyes.
'She's been distant. Sad.' Noemi acknowledges, 'she refuses to talk to me about it and when I ask about our assignments or try to make plans for when we'll talk or see each other she won't commit to anything. It's like she's…'
'Self-sabotaging?' Jane asks wryly, shaking her head sadly.
'Yeah,' Noemi agrees.
Jane sets a cup of coffee in front of Noemi and a cup of tea in front of Maura. 'That's because she is,' Jane offers.
'Why?' Noemi asks, her voice brimming with emotion.
'Because she's an idiot,' Jane says bluntly.
'Jane!' Maura says rebukingly. 'She is not unintelligent. She is afraid. Of hurting and being hurt.'
'But I don't want to hurt her,' Noemi says sadly, 'I want to be with her. I want to make her happy.'
'Yup,' Jane says sadly, 'and she's hurting both of you by fighting that. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do if she's set on ruining the relationship.'
'So what do I do?' Noemi asks, looking for the first time since Jane had met her, like a truly young adult. Barely more than a child, really.
Jane looks at Maura, hoping she had better advice than Jane did, at least on the love front. Maura gave Jane a small smile before speaking, 'you decide where your boundaries are, how you expect her to treat you. Then you call her on it. See if she can rise to meet your expectations.'
Noemi slouches forward resting her head on her uninjured arm in a sad kind of pout, 'and if she can't or won't?'
Maura sighs sadly, 'then you stick to your boundaries. You are deserving of love and respect Noemi.'
'Aarna would agree,' Jane says quietly, 'if she pulled her head out of her ass long enough. She'd tell you that you deserve better.'
'I don't want better,' Noemi mutters darkly, a few tears trickling, 'I want her.'
'I know sweetie,' Maura says as she rubs Noemi's back in a reassuring gesture that made Jane smile. She loved seeing maternal Maura.
Jane gave them a few moments to feel and process. When she had deemed it enough she stood and said, 'come on Noemi, we've got a room to paint. You can help.'
Noemi looks at her balefully and Jane thinks she might refuse but then she nods and follows Jane numbly. Jane gives her a change of clothes before setting her up to paint the trim with her uninjured arm. Jane and Maura take up rollers and together they paint until Noemi's shoulders droop from weariness rather than sadness. After a fairly muted takeout dinner, Jane sends Noemi to bed in the guest room.
'Noemi,' Maura calls softly as the girl makes to leave, 'we're here if you need anything. Even if it's just to talk. I meant what I said about you being family.' Noemi swallows hard, her eyes wet. Noemi nods her head curtly before disappearing.
When the woman is safely out of earshot, Jane moves to Maura in a rare display of vulnerability. She straddles Maura's lap, wrapping her arms around the woman and lets herself feel sad. 'I hate that they're hurting like this.' Jane buries her face in Maura's neck, inhaling the scent of Maura's shampoo.
Maura, for her part, wraps her arms fiercely around Jane and holds her tight. 'Me too,' Maura murmurs, 'I wish there was something we could do.'
Jane shakes her head softly, 'this one is on Aarna.' Jane lets out a deep breath, taking in more of Maura. 'I'm so grateful for you Maura,' Jane pulls away to look into fragile hazel eyes, 'you're… I just...' Jane struggles to find her words. 'I don't ever want to do life without you. You're… you're my everything. Okay?'
Maura's smile twinkles in her eyes, 'I love you too Jane. And I'll be here for as long as you want me to be.'
'Forever,' Jane says quickly and emphatically. 'I want you here forever. Okay?'
Maura gives Jane a soft, pleased look, 'okay. Forever then. I'll be here for forever.' The kiss they exchange is tender, sweet, conveying a million emotions and the only promise that mattered.
Noemi doesn't return to the dorm room she and Aarna shared until she absolutely has to pack. Even then, Jane had come with her. Officially, Jane came because packing with one arm in a sling was difficult to impossible. Tacitly, though, Jane came as Noemi's support and Noemi couldn't be more grateful. Her heart aches at the obvious absence of Aarna. Noemi doesn't know when it had happened but home wasn't where her things were anymore. It was wherever Aarna was.
Noemi spends her last day in DC with her Lola. She tells her Lola about Aarna leaving early, she doesn't elaborate on their relational struggles. Her Lola might be tentatively accepting Noemi's relationship status but seeking advice from her Lola about it made Noemi shudder.
As Noemi, Jane and Maura loaded up the last of Noemi's boxes, Lola brought out a large cooler. Noemi didn't need to glance inside to know there was lumpia, pancit, and some of her grandmother's cookies if she was really lucky. The food of her childhood, of home. Noemi wasn't sure who had a harder time not crying, her or her Lola. Noemi squeezes her grandmother tightly, pressing a kiss to her cheek. Her grandmother chatters at her in Tagalog and English about taking care of herself and being smart and putting the lumpia straight into the freezer. Noemi had to chuckle at that. Food and care always went hand in hand in her Lola's world. And then they're off.
Jane drives the small Uhaul while Maura, Noemi and the dogs follow in Maura's car. It's a pleasant drive for the most part. Except for the two hours they spend crossing New York. Noemi can't help but to wonder where Aarna is. Whether she was liking it. If she was happy. She looks for Aarna in every passing face until her heart is wrung out. Noemi isn't sure if she is grateful to leave the city limits or sad. Aarna was in there somewhere. Just outside of her grasp and that thought was as tantalising as it was exhausting.
They arrive in Boston to a small Rizzoli and Rizzoli related army waiting to help unload the car. Noemi and Maura had agreed that Noemi could rent a room from Maura in her Boston home in exchange for sharing house care taking duty with Angela. Noemi had thought that perhaps Maura was being overly generous but then Jane had said how much her Ma was looking forward to having a roommate again and Noemi had seen the price of rentals in Boston and she decided to accept the offer. Noemi didn't know what Aarna was doing or how she was affording New York rent. Noemi sighed. If she had time to think about Aarna she had time to unpack her things in the room Maura had cleared for her.
Dinner is a noisy affair with the Rizzoli's. There's too many carbs,, too much wine, and never any-[rice. Laughter and boisterous voices were a given and over Thanksgiving when Aarna had been at her side, it had been a happy thing. Now Noemi felt overwhelmingly sad. Noemi was grateful when Maura gave her an excuse to escape by asking her to walk the dogs. Noemi returned only when the cold in the air became unbearable on her arm. All of the non-residents had gone home by then and Noemi was thankful for the quiet.
'Thank you for the dinner Angela,' Noemi says with a smile, 'and for the help moving. If you all don't mind, I'm going to head to bed. I need to rest my arm.' It was the wrong thing to say.
Maura is on her in an instant, wearing what Noemi had begun to associate with her Doctor face. Her hands give Noemi a gentle but thorough examination. 'You shouldn't have stayed out so long Noemi,' Maura says in a soft rebuke, 'the cold will aggravate your injury.'
'You're probably right,' Noemi says smiling at her friend, 'I'll go take a warm shower and be good as new.'
Maura frowns but nods as she finishes her examination, 'let me know if it still hurts in the morning, we can do some exercises to help.'
Noemi nods, offers a good night to the room and disappears into the quiet of her new room. She sinks slowly onto the bed and lets the tears fall hard and fast at last. Her last cognisant thought is that she really wished Aarna was here.
