Missing you


A cool breeze sifted through a thick canopy of leaves that grew from the new growth of young but tall trees. The rustling sound mixed with the serene drips and ripples of water from a huge lake presented an awesome scene. A few dragonflies fluttered in haste, and the occasional bird's chirp and flapping of petite wings resounded out throughout the crevices of this azure place.

San sat in utter amazement at the sight of it. She still had a hard time believing that the Forest was young and healthy just seven months after its near annihilation by the demon-turned Shishigami. But that was all past; better to focus on the present.

Her mind then turned to Ashitaka. How she missed him! She thought it strange for her, a wolf in heart, to miss a human whose kind she and her clan had long hated and made war with. But she had said it, and it was final: she loved Ashitaka.

Love. What a strange word to her, and yet so familiar to her. Her mother Moro had long before her death stated that human love was dangerous and seductive. She firmly said that San were not to give in to any human man's instincts and desires; if she did, she warned, then she would bring a great dishonor and shame to her clan. Besides, there was a chance she might die from the "unholy" union anyway. So San had heeded her words for ten long years. Until Ashitaka came into the picture and changed everything.

She thought about how he had changed over the course of seven months. Had he grown? Or had he stayed the same as he was seven months ago? Was he the kind, gentle Ashitaka, and did he still retain his love for the Forest and his love for her? Or had he gone and taken a mate in that stinking human town and abandoned her? She stopped and tried to banish the thought of it out of her mind. Ashitaka would not do that. He loved her as much as she loved him.

Then she considered how she had changed. Was she still the fierce, bloodthirsty, and wild Princess Mononoke, of whom the people below so feared, or was she just San, daughter of Moro, being changed by a man whom she hardly knew? She felt torn between two different worlds, and it was hard to make a firm decision that would benefit both. She didn't want to leave her clan and her eternal duty to the Forest, but yet she also didn't want to leave Ashitaka and her new found love. In him had she found something. Something that satisfied her. What it was she didn't know, but she still felt it nonetheless.

A thought then popped into her mind. It was a foolish idea, at least to her brothers, but she was willing to do it for the sake of seeing Ashitaka. She made a decision. She quickly hopped off the mossy rock she was sitting on and grabbed her spear, mask, and pelt, draping it over her defined back, and ran off for a hunt. She would do it tonight: she would infiltrate Tatara-ba and sneak into his house.