Thanks for reading - really appreciate it. Didn't know if I was going to write a second chapter, but it seemed so unresolved to me and I'm a fan of closed endings. I own nothing. Enjoy.

- Lina Faro


"Bad Memories" Ch. 02

Emily returned to the group back at the Red Room. Garcia and Rossi eagerly awaited what juicy gossip Emily had for them - they were still under the impression this was an old flame Reid had encountered.

"Where'd my handsome junior G-man go?" Garcia asked. Emily didn't want to worry her friends,

"He went home," The seated agents were confused,

"He just left? What do you mean, is he okay?" Emily thought about what to say for a long time. She knew just saying "he's fine" wasn't going to fly. Her best option to satisfy their curiosity and also prevent them from bothering Reid about it and making him uncomfortable was to tell the truth. Emily replied,

"Okay, I'm going to tell you something, but this stays strictly between us - I don't want either of you saying anything about this - not even to the rest of the team," The rest of the team was either up dancing or at the bar. The three agents leaned into each other as Emily recounted what Reid had told her outside. Rossi was taken aback. He hadn't been around after the Hankel case but he had his suspicions just based on how Reid would behave after certain cases and how his medical charts indicated he was to be given NSAID pain killers instead of narcotics in the event he was injured on the job - which he had been often. Garcia was heartbroken. She was overcome with sympathy and compassion for her coworker. She barely remembers that part of Reid's life, it seemed so long ago. Evidently it didn't seem that long ago for Reid. Rossi finally asked, almost with accusation,

"You let him go off on his own after that?" Emily felt guilty - she knew he was in a vulnerable state but per Spencer's request she thought in the moment that letting him go was the best thing to do - now she regretted the decision,

"He practically begged me to let him go home, I just didn't want to antagonize him any further," Emily defended. Garcia was showing a little panic,

"Well someone has to go after him, at least to make sure he got to his apartment okay." Emily volunteered. She felt responsible for the whole situation given she was the reason Reid was even put into this position in the first place.

Meanwhile, Reid had passed his apartment a while back - he kept on walking. He didn't want to go home, despite what he told his boss. He had something else in mind...

"Reid are you there?" Emily knocked on the young agents door but there was no answer. Her worry was beginning to grow. It had been an hour since he stormed out of the bar - he should have made it back to his place by know, that is as long as he didn't decide to make some kind of detour. She pulled out her phone and called Garcia. Her voice rang through,

"Is he there? Is he okay?" the blonde asked.

"If he is, he's not answering the door. Can you ping his cell for me?" Garcia scrambled to get to her computer in her own abode. After some furious typing she replied,

"He's not at his place, it looks like he's at 1251 E. Twelfth street. It's some community center. What's he doing there?" Emily answered,

"I think I have an idea. Thanks Garcia, I'll let you know when I have an update," Garcia didn't want Emily to hang up but the call ended before she could protest.


Emily sat outside of the community center in her car. An NA meeting was just letting out. She watched as an assortment of troubled people made their way out of the building and into the parking lot. Reid was among one of the last ones to exit. Emily started up her car again, the headlights of which got Spencer's attention. He recognized the car and immediately stopped in his tracks to weigh out his options. He could walk away thus prompting Emily to follow after him or he could try to end the confrontation right here and avoid further pestering for the rest of the evening. He made his way over to her car. Emily opened her door and stood up to face him. Reid was the first to speak,

"How'd you find me?" Emily was embarrassed to answer,

"Well you weren't at you apartment like you said you would be, so I got nervous and had Garcia look up your location," Reid rolled his eyes. He was frustrated with the lack of trust his superior had in him. Emily continued, "I'm sorry. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." There was a pause. Reid didn't want to respond. Emily's phone rang, it was Garcia. She answered,

"Hey Pen,"

"Did you find him?" Reid could hear Garcia's frantic voice from the other end of the call. He started walking away. Emily called after him,

"Spencer, wait! Penelope, I'll call you back," Reid stopped and faced his teammate. His jaw was clenched in anger. He waited for the other agent to speak but she had no words.

"Emily, this is really inappropriate. You had no right to track my phone." He said. Emily agreed, she had overstepped her bounds - but she was also glad she did just for her own peace of mind.

"I know, again, Spencer I'm sorry. I'm glad I found you here, though. I know you said you hadn't been triggered but I just had a feeling that you-" Reid cut her off,

"I wasn't triggered by being there tonight, Emily. I wasn't lying back at the office when I said I already had plans. I was going to go to this meeting before I even ran into… her. I go anytime we're not on a case," Reid said, referring to Amber. Emily was confused. Why? Reid didn't appear embarrassed to discuss this matter - he remained stoic, though he couldn't help his eyes from darting away from hers. Emily's face gave away her confusion and concern. She finally found her words,

"How long have you been doing that?" She wondered if there was a certain stressor that caused him to feel like he needed additional support. He looked off to the side before answering,

"Sporadically over the years, more regularly after particular events. Started back up about eight months ago," Emily thought back to eight months ago, what had happened?

"When you got out of prison," she stated. Reid nodded. It was cold and a strong wind whipped through the parking lot but neither agent seemed to notice. Emily proceeded,

"Reid, have you ever relapsed?" Reid was taken aback by the question, "I'm just talking to you as a friend, not as your boss," Reid laughed and took a step back,

"I'm not - I…" Emily had her answer without him even telling her,

"When?" Reid debated walking away again, but he knew that wouldn't end the conversation,

"I'm not going to answer that," Reid's eyes lost their fury and determination as they were replaced with panic.

"Just give me a time frame. In the last year?" Reid immediately defended,

"What? No! It's been -"

"After Maeve died?" Reid was in shock,

"...stop," he whispered,

"After Gideon died?"

"Stop" he quietly commanded,

"When your mom was having issues?"

"STOP!" He shouted. He was breathing heavily at this point, he looked at her with hurt written all over his face before he finally admitted,

"The last time I did anything was August of 2011. I've been clean for eight years. I go to meetings because I can't talk to anyone on the team about it without risking your jobs, okay? I'm going home, don't follow me," he had his hands raised like Emily had a gun pointed towards him - and her words did feel like bullets ripping through him. Reid backed away and slowly disappeared down the streetlight-lined sidewalk.

Emily was rooted where she stood, unmoving. She can't believe she just attacked Reid like that. She also though about 2011 - what was happening eight years ago? She regained her ability to move her legs and started back to her car which was still running. She recounted in September of 2011 she rejoined the BAU after being in hiding from Ian Doyle. She remembers Reid being uncharacteristically short with the counselman leading the proceedings and with her and JJ after the fact. His behavior was similar to that right after Hankel. The realization hit her at once. Reid didn't take a sabbatical after she "died" just because he was grieving. He was using and needed time away from work to get clean. He was moody and volatile because he was dealing with the tailend of withdrawl symptoms. A single tear slid down her cheek. How could she have been so cruel?