Hey y'all, sorry for the delay. Trying to get chapter four out in a timely manner - but you know how these things go. Thanks for reading, favoriting, and reviewing. Means the world to me.

Bad Memories Ch. 03

Once Emily came out of her paralyzed state, she maneuvered herself back to her car. Reid had long since ventured out of sight. She drove to a familiar townhouse and knocked at the door.

JJ answered,

"Emily? We were all wondering where you went after Anderson's party. Is everything okay?" Emily replied,

"No, can we go inside?"

"Uh, sure yeah, come on in," JJ said as she moved aside for her unit chief to pass over the threshold. They went to the kitchen and JJ started making tea for the both of them, "So what's up - I know Spence left kind of abruptly, is that what this is about?" Emily nodded,

"This is completely off the record - we never had this conversation…" JJ leaned forward, her attention solely on the woman across from her, "Remember that woman talking to Reid at the bar?" JJ nodded that she did, "that was not an ex-girlfriend, that was Reid's former drug dealer". JJ nearly choked and spat out her tea. After regaining her composure she simply asked, "what?" Emily continued,

"I feel terrible because I twisted his arm into coming with us to the party, he didn't want to go and I just thought he was being reclusive, but I dragged him there and she tried giving him pills and that's when he stormed out." JJ's eyes were wide with disbelief, she said,

"Well that's good I guess? What happened when you ran after him?" Emily sighed,

"I confronted him about the woman, he was upset that I put him in that position in the first place - I don't know why I did that, I shouldn't have forced him to go," JJ reassured her,

"Emily, there is no way you could have known that would happen. I would've thought he was just being a recluse, too". Emily smiled at the blonde and keep recounting the evening's events,

"Well nevertheless, he said he was going home so I went back to the bar and told Garcia and Dave about this and then I realized I shouldn't have let Reid leave on his own so I went to his place, he wasn't there, I had Garcia track his phone, I know -" She cut JJ off before she could even interject, "not cool, but I was worried about him and so Garcia found him at a support group and so I went to talk to him and then…" She trialed off, most embarrassed to confess what occurred next. JJ tried to keep the conversation going,

"Okay, so he went to a meeting, that's good. Man, after 13 years I wouldn't think he was still tempted like that but I guess you can never predict addiction." Emily looked down and continued,

"JJ, it hasn't been 13 years." The blonde was confused,

"What do you mean? The Hankel case was in 2006 and Spence was back to normal after like 4 months or so, so…" she paused, "you don't mean he's relapsed, do you?" Emily nodded.

"He said it was a while ago but I just… " She couldn't continue. She knew what she was about to tell JJ would break her heart just as much as it did her's. JJ pried,

"When are we talking about here? After Maeve was killed? You know when he was hulled up in his apartment for two weeks Garcia and I just asked him to knocked on his wall to see if he was conscious. I was so afraid he was passed out in there, I had half a mind to kick in the door mysel-" Emily interrupted,

"No, that's what I thought, too. JJ… he said that last time he used was in August of 2011." JJ wracked her brain to think that far back. She thought out loud,

"I was working at the Pentagon during that time, and only came back after you-" it was JJ's turn to trail off, the realization muted her,

"He was taking a sabbatical. He was coming over here weekly to talk about you. During that case in Oklahoma he said he'd thought about using but implied he never actually did," JJ was feeling a mixture of sadness and anger. She was sad that she had been a part of causing such utter dispair for their youngest colleague that he would feel his only possible escape was self-medicating - but she was also angry that he didn't ask for her help. Maybe the weekly sob sessions were a cry for help and maybe she missed something he said or hinted at. Then she was angry with herself for not knowing that falling off the wagon was a possibility. She remembers that day in the Durant, Oklahoma police station when she felt her heart drop into her stomach at his uncensored confession, but everything seemed so normal at Rossi's the next day that she dismissed the whole thing and went right back to acting like brother and sister. Emily handed JJ a napkin and it was only then she realized she had tears in her eyes, JJ whispered,

"What did we do?"