Hi everyone! Ready for 2016? I know I am! :) Here is my next drama-filled chapter. Hope you'll enjoy it! Thanks for reading, following and reviewing! Happy New Year!
I was staring at him in disbelief, feeling my whole body starting to shake, my breath hiking up. "It's you." I whispered.
His eyes lit up and now I knew where I had seen that expression before. He bit his lips together. It all made sense now.
"It's you!" I said a little louder.
He came towards me, holding me by my arms. "I don't know who you think I am but it isn't safe here for…" He said in a gravely voice.
"Stop lying to me! I know it's you Bru..." But before I could say his name he covered my mouth with his hand, holding me in a tight grip.
"Don't ever say it out loud." With that he grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder.
"Let me down!" I protested.
He didn't respond walking out of the tunnel and then we flew to the top of a building where he had his flying batmobile parked.
"Where are we going?" I asked when he sat me down in the car/ helicopter.
He didn't answer. I felt my heart still beating way too fast from my recent discovery. Bruce was Batman! Even now it made no sense. I didn't know how I felt about this. So it was him saving my life twice. Why did he never tell me? Why did he tell me he hated the batman? As all these thoughts were rushing through my brain, we were suddenly air borne.
I held on to my seat as we flew through Gotham. I had been too close! That had always been a rule in journalism - don't get too close to your sources - and I had broken that rule. It was precisely for this reason - so you wouldn't be blinded by your own feelings and perceptions. In hindsight it seemed so obvious that it was him. Even Jacob had a hunch. Oh Jacob... I felt stupid for not figuring it out sooner. Then again, no one in Gotham had either.
I was studying his expression. His dark eyes were staring angrily into the distance. His lips were pressed together. I had so many questions that I didn't even know where to start. Where did he hide this car or whatever it was? Where did he learn how to fight? But the most important question was on endless repeat in my head: Why? Why did he not tell me?
Now that I was so close to him, I could smell his cologne through the armor, recognize the shape of his lips and chin, read his expression.
We flew through a waterfall. Batman...or Bruce, didn't flinch. I kept looking at him, still in disbelief. This was the same man I fell in love with.
We landed in a cave. He pushed a button and the bat mobile opened.
"Where are we?" But even as I asked the question I already knew the answer. This was Batman's hideout.
He still didn't answer, getting out of the bat mobile and walking towards a table where he pressed another button. Lights went on and several TVs and computer screens were slowly appearing out of nowhere. This cave was massive.
I slowly climbed out of the acar.
"I'm wearing the mask not to protect myself," he said in a deep growl. "I don't need protection."
Was I ok with the fact that my fiancé was walking around in a cape beating criminals to a pulp?!
"I'm wearing this to protect those I love." His tone continued in a dark and angry voice. "If I tell you who I am, can you promise me not to tell anyone?"
"I already know who you are." I responded.
"Can you promise me?" His voice got louder and deeper, to a frightening growl. If I didn't know it was Bruce I would never have guessed it.
"Yes! Of course." I promised.
He nodded in defeat, pressing a button near his neck. It made an unlocking sound.
"Cat, you can't tell anyone." He was still wearing the mask but it was suddenly his voice. The stark contrast almost made me gasp.
I silently nodded. He sighed and took of his mask, revealing his handsome features, his hair tussled from being under the mask. He shook it slightly, holding the mask in his hands.
Just now, it hit me again. As if seeing him in the suit made it more real. It was really his face under the mask. I stared at him.
"Say something." He said in a pleading tone.
I had no words. For any of it.
His dark eyes searching mine desperately for answers.
I wanted to say something, but my brain was still just processing all of this.
His perfect features looked pain ridden.
"Cat..." He walked towards me. I instinctively took a step back and he stopped in his track.
He was pressing his lips into a tight line again.
"Why?" I finally managed to say in a weak voice. "Why wouldn't you tell me?"
"To protect you. Only Lucius and Alfred know."
"How is keeping me in the dark protecting me?"
"If they found out that Batman has feelings for you - you would be the weak link to me."
I remembered when he explained that theory to me before. Little did I know that he was speaking from experience.
"Fair enough. So no one can know. But that still doesn't explain why I cannot know."
He looked at me defeated. "I tried to stay away from you...to keep you safe. I just couldn't. The lesser you knew the better."
He slowly walked towards me again, placing the mask on a a table next to him.
"I'm sorry. I should never have involved you in any of this." He continued.
I stood there in thought for a while, still trying to process this all.
"Involve me in what exactly? Do I even know you?" I asked in an angry tone.
The comment hurt, I could tell. "Of course you do."
"So let me get this straight. On the one hand you're...you're...Batman... God it still feels wrong saying that. I mean just seeing you...without the mask... It's crazy! I'm questioning your sanity."
He nodded as if he was too.
"So that's a huge part of your life that I didn't know about. Jeez you must have thought of me as a complete idiot for not figuring it out..."
"Cat, no..."
"And then on the other hand there is the fake Bruce Wayne persona. A playboy, eccentric billionaire... But that's not the true you either..."
And then I realized something else!
"Oh my god!"
"What?"
"Rachel Dawes!"
I saw him cringe.
"I figured out a while back that the story you told me wasn't true. But I believed your pain...just not the story. It was her."
He nodded silently.
It was as if all these revelations were slowly eating away on him. Like he could handle only so much truth at once.
"Why? Why would you lie to me? All this time?" I said, feeling my voice get louder and louder as the anger was unleashing.
"I...I don't know... I'm not good at sharing much about me. Cat, my feelings for you..." He walked towards me. "They are real. Us...that is real." He said as he placed his hand on my arm.
I immediately pushed his hand away. "Don't you dare touch me."
Even though he was wearing the Batman suit, he looked more vulnerable than ever.
"What did you think? We would get married, build a life together and you just never tell me about this?"
"I was planning on retiring..." He said.
"So? This is a huge part of who you are and you just lied to me about it. All this time..."
In my mind I went through all my interactions with Batman.
"Wait...I saw you in my apartment and then Batman was outside..."
He sighed. "That was Alfred." He said scratching the back of his head nervously.
"So you purposefully did everything you could to keep me in the dark." I said, crossing my arms in front of me. I felt my whole body buzzing with anger. At the same time I felt close to tears.
Could I be with a man who lied so thoroughly to me?
I had never seen him like this, his features looked even more pain ridden than normal. His eyes stared at me in desperation. He looked close to tears himself.
"I am so sorry." He said in a weak voice. "I just needed to do everything I could to protect you. After Rachel...I couldn't lose you too."
"Bullshit! You were protecting yourself. Your feelings. You were worried that I wouldn't want to be with you if you told me about Batman - the same way I assume she had."
He winced in pain at the mention of it.
"Is that what happened? Did she say she didn't want to be with you?" I asked.
He cleared is throat. "Yeah."
"I am not her. I think what you're doing is amazing. But you know that because I spoke highly of Batman like a thousand times in front of you while you pretended to hate the guy." Just the thought of that made me so angry again.
"I am so sorry for everything." He said in a weak voice walking towards me again. Just having him closer to me made me suddenly feel on edge and uncomfortable. He placed his hands tightly on my arms again.
"Cat I never meant…"
"Let go off me." I interrupted him calmly.
"Please just..."
"Let go off me now." I said as I was hitting him in the chest which was very ineffective since I was hitting armor.
I felt tears stream down my face and he finally let go, looking defeated at me.
"I don't know who you are anymore." I said as I felt tears just running down my cheeks.
"You do." He said, pleading, as tears were streaming down his face as well.
I felt my hands shaking as I reached for the ring.
"No." He said in a weak voice, seeing what I was about to do. "Please, Cat, don't do this. I love you more than anything in my life."
"I can't. I don't know you." I responded as I placed the ring in his hand. "I just need to go now."
I felt I was right on the edge of a complete breakdown.
"Just hang on to it." He said in a broken voice, barely holding it together.
"I can't...I just need to go... Where is the exit in this place."
"I'll take you."
"No!" I responded quickly. "I'll have Alfred give me a ride or I'll walk..."
"Ok... If that's what you want. Follow me." He walked towards what looked like an elevator.
I was trying to concentrate on not losing it yet. Hold it together for a little longer. I really thought he was the one...
He opened the door of the elevator for me and pushed a button and it took us upstairs.
The elevator ride seemed to take forever. I looked to the ground, avoiding any eye contact with him. I felt his eyes on me the entire time.
The doors opened and we were in a tiny cave-like room. He took off his glove and opened the door with his thumbprint.
The door opened and it was the living room, right next to the piano. I felt so stupid for not knowing this whole part even existed. The Batcave was below Wayne Manor! Of course it was.
"You know your way from here." He said in a weak voice.
I nodded and started walking without looking at him. He grabbed me by my hand and whirled me back into his arms, holding me tightly, his hand supporting my head. I felt his body shake as his tears were hitting my shoulder.
He slowly let me go and whispered "I love you" in my ear.
I felt like I was running through the mansion, needing the exit more than life right now. Tears were streaming down my face and I knew I couldn't hold it together much longer. At least wait until you're in the car.
Alfred looked at me concerned as I was chasing to the exit.
"Everything alright, Miss?" He asked.
"I need to go..." In that moment I realized I didn't even know where I was going.
"Alright. I get the Royce ready."
I waited by the door as this whole house seemed to be swallowing me alive. Everything reminded me of him of course and the life I thought we could have together. How was I so wrong about him? How did my instinct fail me this bad? All I wanted was to run back to him and fall in his arms. But at the same time - the thought made me shudder. It was like I didn't trust him anymore.
Finally I saw the car pull up and I made my way towards it in big strides. "Just take me to any hotel." I said as I closed the door.
"Certainly Miss." He said, his eyes looking at me like those of a concerned father through the rearview mirror.
As we pulled out of the driveway, the wave of emotion I had been holding back hit me at once. I started crying uncontrollably as the pain, loss and betrayal ripped through me.
"I'm sorry." I said to Alfred in between sobs.
"That is quite alright Miss. Is there anything I can do?"
"No. Thank you Alfred."
All the moments between Bruce and I played through my mind like a movie All I wanted was spend the rest of my life with him. But even if I wanted to, I knew - I couldn't. Not anymore. The Bruce I knew was a figment of my imagination. I didn't know the real Bruce Wayne. Maybe he didn't even know himself.
We arrived at the hotel and Alfred opened the door for me. I had composed myself for the time being.
"Please let me know if there is anything I can do. You're family." He said. And I was thinking - not anymore.
"Thank you Alfred." I said as I gave him a hug before I walked into the hotel lobby.
It was the most expensive hotel in Gotham. Alfred was used to Bruce's budget. I should have specified. At this point I didn't care.
I walked up to the receptionist.
"Good evening Miss Hunter." The young man said to me.
I was surprised he recognized me.
"Hi, I'm just looking for a room. Whichever is the cheapest."
"Mr. Wayne has already paid for the Presidential Suite for you."
"He has what?"
"Here are the keys and certainly do let us know if we can be of any assistance to you."
I felt like I was part of his property that he just stored in a presidential suite until I came to my senses.
"I'm sorry, I changed my mind." I said as I left the hotel in a hurry.
"Miss?"
I ran outside and hailed a cab. I just needed to be by myself. Independent from him.
"Do you know any cheap hotels in the area?" I asked the cabbie.
"There is one on the lower Waterfront." He said in a heavy accent.
"Perfect."
That was a pretty bad neighborhood but it meant I was away from him for a while.
I checked in the less than ideal hotel, which smelled like old clothes. As I sat down on the bed I realized that I didn't even have any clothes... It was all at his place. I couldn't go there and pack... The idea broke my heart.
In that moment my phone was buzzing. This was the last thing I needed right now as I started reading the gossip blogs.
The engagement is off! Catherine Hunter was spotted checking into the Grande Palais without fiancé Bruce Wayne and without ring. Trouble in paradise? Sources close to the couple confirmed that the two had been on the outs for months. "It was just never meant to be." One source said. "He has too much of a wandering eye."
I almost started laughing at that. If they knew... But laughing turned into crying as I sat in the old hotel room by myself.
My phone buzzed again - Just making sure you're ok? Why didn't you use the suite at the Grande? The text from Bruce read.
I'm fine. - I responded.
Five minutes later my phone rang. It was Sam.
"What in the world is going on? Are you ok?" She asked.
"I'm guessing you saw the latest Gotham Talks article?"
"Tell me it's all bullshit."
"No..." I cleared my throat. "It's not."
"What happened?"
In that moment I realized that I couldn't tell her. I was mad at him, but I would never break his trust like that. Even though he had broken mine. But what was I going to tell her? Something that was believable.
"Cat?"
"He cheated on me." I said without thinking.
"No he didn't." She said in disbelieve.
"He has been lying to me for months." That part was unfortunately correct.
"Shut up. With whom?"
"I don't know her. It doesn't really matter."
"I don't know why this surprises me so much. I guess first impressions aren't wrong after all..."
I knew he would never cheat on me and it was killing me that I had to lie to Sam, but what was my alternative?
"How did you find out?"
"I saw a text on his phone... And then I confronted him and that's when it all came out."
"What a fucking asshole! I'm still in complete shock."
"Tell me about it."
"Where are you right now?"
"In this shitty hotel."
"What? No. You're coming out here immediately. I'm booking you on the last flight. I thought you were at the Grande?"
"Yeah...if I wanted to be in the presidential suite he had booked for me."
"Ah, yes I see. It's crazy hot here so we're going to the beach and parties and all that. I just booked your flight - it leaves in 2 hours so you better get ready."
"Wait, Sam, I don't have any clothes or anything."
"Perfect excuse to go shopping."
I got the airport, nothing but my coat and my handbag on me. I felt like it was a bad dream. I put on big sun glasses in hopes the paparazzi wouldn't recognize me.
I wasn't sure running from Gotham was the best plan but right now I just needed to be far away from all of this.
It had been a week since I had left Gotham.
One moment I had my dream job and what seemed to be the man of my dreams, the next I was without a job and single. Granted it was my decision to call it quits between me and Bruce, but I didn't know if I really had that much of a choice. I still loved him and my feelings for him were consuming me but on the other side I felt like I didn't trust him anymore. All of a sudden I looked differently at him. Every day, hour, minute and second of this week I was thinking about him, missing him. But I wasn't even sure who he was anymore. Everything changed the moment I found out he was Batman, not because he was wearing the mask, but because he had lied to me so profoundly for so long. I had told Sam the lie that he had slept with other women, and although false, the betrayal felt similar.
"Ok, I'm not even going to give you a choice." Sam interrupted my train of depressing thoughts as I stared onto the ocean, wrapped into a blanket.
"What's that?" I asked, wrapping the blanket even tighter around me. I felt cold almost all the time these days. As if my heart had gotten colder.
Sam presented tickets in her hand. "L.A.'s masquerade ball."
"Oh no, no, no!" I protested. "I feel so very far from going to a party."
"I know you do honey." She said kneeling next to me. "I've been watching you for a week now and it breaks my heart. I've seen you go through several breakups, but I've never seen you like this. Your expression is blank, you seem a shade paler, you worry me."
I nodded, biting my lips. Darn, it had been that obvious? "I know."
"There is no harm in dressing up silly and getting drunk. If you really hate it that much you can leave and I promise you, I will not leave your side this time." "No matter how hot the bartender is?"
She nodded and put on hand on her heart the other in the air. "I solemnly swear to not leave you no matter how hot any of the numerous guys will be that will come over and talk to me." She grinned and I chuckled.
"Oh my God! Was that a laugh? Alert the authorities! Miss Hunter is laughing."
I sheepishly smiled at her but then dark clouds came over me quickly again. "I honestly don't know if I'm ever going to be ok again. I feel broken in too many places right now."
"And that's ok. You don't need to. You're allowed to feel pain and be broken for as long as you need."
I sighed and nodded. "But next week, we're going to this stupid masquerade ball." She said. "Can you check something before though?" "Already have. He is not on the guest list."
I nodded, thankful she didn't use his name. It stung every time I heard it. I had stayed away from all sorts of media because they only reminded me of the two things I didn't have anymore - my career in news and Bruce.
The last time I made the mistake to check CNN on my phone, there was a massive picture of Batman as top story. Batman back in action - 43 mobsters behind bars. It was the first time I saw a picture of Batman, knowing it was Bruce. How could he have lied to me all this time about this?
Usually after a break-up I would throw myself into work. I didn't have that option.
In that moment my phone vibrated and I winced, knowing who was texting me.
"Him again?" Sam asked.
I nodded without even having to pick it up. The first day he had called me numerous times and left me heartbreaking voicemails. Then he started texting and only calling at night to wish me a good night. It was a ritual now, only I would never pick up. I needed time to think about what I wanted. I needed a second to see if I really could spend the rest of my life with someone who could lie to me with such ease.
Sam sighed looking at me as I was staring at my phone. "Do you want me to read it to you?" She finally asked.
I nodded.
"Ok, here it goes." She said as she opened the message. "How is your day? I hope you're enjoying L.A. I woke up from a terrible nightmare last night only to realize that my nightmare had become my reality. I miss you so much, words can't describe how broken I feel without you. Please talk to me." Sam sighed heavily before handing me back my phone as I was wiping away tears.
"It makes it really hard to stay mad at the guy." She said.
"I know." I said under tears. "Which is why I just need a minute of quiet to think about this. I can't think with him around."
"Have you told him that?"
I shook my head.
"You have to."
"I know but for some reason I can't bring myself to say it."
"Text him. Just say I need to think."
I nodded and took a deep breath as I started to type.
Thank you for your messages. I just need some time to think about what I want right now.
I hit send and immediately thought about every word I used and if I should have phrased it differently. Thank you for your messages? Who says that?
Suddenly I saw he was typing on the other end. Anxiously I waited for his response and of course it was as perfect as everything that was Bruce Wayne.
I understand. Take as much time as you need. I love you.
He was perfect except for the fact...the minor detail...of being Batman on the side. Whenever I thought about that I had a hard time comprehending it. Bruce was Batman. It still was a strange new reality and the betrayal that stung deep every time I thought about it. He would have probably never told me if I hadn't finally figured it out.
"Ok, I need a dress for this stupid event." I said as I shook all the pain and disappointment from me.
"That's what I'm talking about."
"Master Wayne?"
He didn't answer, simply staring out the windows as he was sitting in the living room, looking at the grey, rainy Gotham sky.
"I have the fingerprint analysis ready for you, sir."
He nodded, feeling Alfred's eyes on him. "Anything else?" He asked, still not meeting the butler's eyes.
"Have you talked to her?" "I've tried. She doesn't answer my calls."
The butler turned quiet.
"Go ahead. I know how much you like to say 'I told you so'." His voice sounded dull, even in his own ears.
"Not today Master Wayne."
"Alright let's see about that fingerprint analysis." He said getting up.
"Why don't you visit her?"
"Visit her?" "Yes, fly to LA and try to talk to her face to face."
"She made it pretty clear that she doesn't want to see me, Alfred."
"It's worth a try, don't you think?"
"I'll think about it." He said as he was walking to the piano to activate the batcave. "What do we know about him?" "Part of the Chinese mafia, sir. Just as you expected."
Cleaning Gotham's streets of scum was the only distraction to the pain in his heart.
"You got your ticket?" Sam asked me as she put in her earrings.
"Yes ma'am." I responded, holding the ticket up as proof before placing it back into my golden clutch bag. Just now it hit me again that I was really going out. I had been getting ready almost all day, with an appointment at the hairdressers and one at the nail salon. For some reason Sam had even talked me into getting a spray-on tan. But now, as I was ready with my hair and make-up all done, my new way-too expensive red chiffon dress and golden high heels, I felt far from ready.
"You need a drink." Sam said, clearly seeing my facial expression. I nodded as she handed me a shot. "I don't do shots…" "I know, but tonight you need them." She said as she downed a shot of tequila. She was right and I followed suit, the liquor burning in my throat.
A few shots later, we got in a cab. As we were making our way through L.A. traffic, I had to ask again. "And you can promise me…" "Yes, he won't be there. I even triple checked this morning."
I nodded, feeling a little tipsy already. "So with that said," she continued. "Put on your mask and pretend to be someone else for the night."
Even that comment stung like a sharp blade because it made me immediately think of him and how he pretended to be someone else every night as well. I slowly pulled out my mask out of my bag. As I placed the lacy black mask on my face, I imagined how he must feel every night when he puts on his mask. I tied the knot in the back, adjusting the mask. "And you won't be mad if I leave if I don't like it?" I asked sheepishly.
She sighed. "No of course I won't be mad. Just promise me you'll give it a shot."
We walked into the massive entrance, a security team checking our invitations and crossing us of the list. I looked around in the dimly lit room, the dance floor looking more like one out of Las Vegas.
Three cocktails later, I felt dizzy, the deep bass of the music vibrating through my bones. It was a good feeling. I was impressed that Sam did not leave me this time for one of the many hot guys in the room. She kept pointing out some of them to me, but I felt very far from having any interest in anyone. I was happy to feel somewhat more human for the moment.
"I'm getting more drinks." I said.
I walked to the rooftop bar. I needed a little break. As I opened the door, I took a deep breath, inhaling the fresh air. I ordered a cocktail at the bar but for some reason I didn't feel like going back inside just yet. Instead I walked to the railing, looking at the skyline. I took a deep breath, the fresh breeze blowing my hair back. I took a sip of the cocktail. The lights of the cars below me were almost blending together.
"Beautiful night, isn't it?" The man next to me interrupted my train of thought. It wasn't Bruce, he was too tall and his demeanor wasn't right. Relief and sadness flooded me at once at the realization. One part of me wished he was here and I could see him again, the other was praying he wasn't.
I simply nodded. There wasn't much that I found beautiful these days.
"I always found it comforting to look at cars from afar," he continued. "Something about seeing cars be nothing more than small lights, rushing by you reminds me how insignificant our problems really are." I allowed myself to look at him, normally I tried to avoid eye contact with guys hitting on me in a club. He had short blonde hair, thin lips and a wide jaw. The black mask over his eyes made it hard to really see what he looked like. "Benjamin." He said as he stretched out his hand to me.
"Victoria." I gave my middle name since I didn't want him to know who I really was. "Beautiful name." "Thanks."
"You from here?"
"Maybe." I said, taking a sip from my drink. "Maybe?" He asked intrigued.
"Not really sure where I am from right now."
"I get that." "You from here?" "Yes. I live by Venice Beach."
"I love it there." "Yes, it's a good spot. So what do you do?"
I took a deep breath. I wasn't ready for a real conversation. I liked being unknown. He didn't know I was Catherine Hunter, Bruce Wayne's fiancee or former fiancee. He didn't know I used to be a successful journalist before everything came crumbling down on me. For now, I was able to not be anybody.
I tried to forget everything around me and just pretend I was someone else. How wonderful it would be to slip into a different persona for a night and be someone else. That's when it hit me again - that's exactly what Bruce is doing every time he becomes Batman. He transforms into a different person. Stop thinking about him! I tried to order myself. "I'm in between jobs right now." I replied.
He nodded, leaning over the railing, his drink casually in his hand. He didn't seem to give up despite my best efforts.
"Why are you up here?" He asked.
"Getting away from all the creeps." I responded dryly.
He laughed. "Ouch. I'm a creep now?" He smiled, standing up tall again, not taking his eyes off me.
"Well, you came all the way over here and began with a cliche conversation starter..."
He laughed. "I think that classifies me as lame but not creepy."
I chuckled. "True. I redact my statement."
"Let me build up to the title of a 'creep'. Let me earn that."
I laughed. "Ok."
We just looked at each other for a few seconds and it immediately made me uncomfortable.
"So why are you here then?" I asked taking another quick sip of my drink, looking away.
"Oh I have no excuse at all. I watched you standing here by yourself and thought to myself - what do you have to lose? She'll probably shoot you down but at least you can ask."
"Ask me what?"
"If I can buy you a drink?"
I looked at him, pondering my options. Was this a good idea? Probably not. I was just giving him false hope that something was going to happen between us. On the other hand talking to him felt good and it distracted me somewhat from my depressing train of thought.
I downed the rest of my cocktail and handed him the glass.
"What's your poison?" He asked.
"Gin and tonic."
"Coming right up."
When he left I took another deep breath, internally shaking my head at myself. What was I doing?
All I wanted was Bruce to be standing next to me. I closed my eyes and imagined him walking up to me, taking my hand, pulling me towards him. As much as I wished for it, the betrayal hit me immediately. How? How could he have lied to me for so long?
"I thought of some more really lame opening lines on my way here." Benjamin said as he handed me the drink. "You're lucky you didn't hear any of those." I laughed. Normally he would have ticked all my boxes - funny, polite, handsome…
In that moment I saw Sam at the bar - I had texted her I was getting some fresh air up here but had failed to mention the man next to me. She just grinned at me and turned around. Ugh! Now I had to listen to her give me shit for this for a long time.
"Protective friends?" He said noticing me shaking my head at Sam in the distance.
I nodded, though "protective" isn't the word I'd use. She was more encouraging than anything. "What about you? Who are you here with?" I asked.
"Nobody. I'm here by myself." "By yourself?" "Yeah. Why? Does that make me creepy?"
"A little bit." I smirked.
He laughed. "See, I told you I had to work up to that title."
I laughed.
"Small world Mr Wayne!" He said suddenly, looking behind me.
The words were ringing in my entire body and I felt myself frozen. Did he just say that? Am I hallucinating now? Was this happening? He can't be here.
"Small world indeed Mr Sullivan."
His voice ran through my system like fire. It was his voice. I still hadn't turned around, staring at my drink.
"I had no idea you were in town." Benjamin said.
"An impromptu business trip." Bruce responded.
"We should get together. Sorry, how rude of me," he said looking at me and I felt my eyes snap up at him as if I was begging him not to do what he was about to do. "Victoria, this is Bruce Wayne."
Now I had to turn around. When I did I felt like someone had hit me right in the stomach. A mixture of butterflies and pain at the same time. He looked as good as ever.
He wasn't wearing a mask, just another perfectly tailored suit, his eyes locked on mine. Although Benjamin was taller than him, Bruce was visibly way stronger than him. Now I knew why.
"We've met." Bruce said dryly, still looking into my eyes.
I felt Benjamin nervously catching on to the uncomfortable vibe.
I didn't say anything, I couldn't. An emotional chaos inside of me. I was mad. Ready to scream at him. I wanted to kiss him, run up to him and lock my arms around him. I felt close to tears.
Instead, I just stared at him, waiting for him to make the next move.
"I'm her fiancé." Bruce said after a few seconds of silence that felt like eternity. I stared at him as if he just gave away the world's best secret - but that would be that he's Batman.
Benjamin cleared his throat. "Wow, ok I did not see that coming." He said scratching his head nervously. "I'll be making a fool of myself somewhere else." He said and left.
Bruce still only looking at me, as if nobody else existed here.
He walked towards me and every step made my adrenaline increase.
"You were not supposed to be here." I said, barely able to bring words out.
"I'm never on the guest list." He responded, looking me straight into my eyes, seemingly burning through to my soul.
"Why are you here?" I asked.
"Business. I have a potential deal with the organizer of this event. I'm also here to see you but I had no idea you're going to be at this event."
"How did you even recognize me with the mask and in this light…? Oh wait, I can answer that myself, you are used to the whole masquerade shit. That's why you show up to a freaking masquerade ball without a mask, because you're so used to wearing it in your free time."
My body was begging to kiss him, his face so close to mine, but the rage was like a fire burning through me.
"You're still mad." He noted.
"No shit I'm mad. It's more than that. I feel betrayed."
Just smelling his cologne again was sending me into sensory overload.
He walked even closer to me, his hand on my cheek. "I miss you so much." He said barely above a whisper. "I love you."
I felt like I was about to start crying but I couldn't make a scene here. Instead, I started storming out of the venue, trying to control my emotions.
"Cat?" He came after me. "Catherine?" He said louder, some guests on the rooftop turned around.
But I wouldn't slow down. I came here to forget for a night, not to be reminded of all the pain and betrayal. My breath was hiking up, I felt close to breaking down. I just needed to get away from him.
I ran down the stairs to the street, hearing him calling my name a few steps behind me as he was trying to catch up to me. My red dress was flowing down the stairs like a stream of blood. As I almost reached the street, he grabbed me by my arm and whirled me towards him. Now he was wearing a black mask himself.
"Why are you wearing a mask now?" I asked confused.
"To throw off paparazzi." He said, still holding me firmly by my arm. "All I want is talk."
"Let go off me." I said, trying to move my arm, with little success.
"Cat…"
"Let. Go. Off. Me." I said, trying not to make a scene but I could not handle his touch anymore. He sighed and let my arm go. I called a cab and he stood next to me, not saying anything. I got in the cab and he followed me.
"What do you think you're doing?" I asked. "
We need to talk. I'm not leaving your side until we do."
I sighed in frustration. "Fine!"
We started driving and I stared outside the window the whole drive, trying to forget that he was sitting next to me, pretending that I was in this cab by myself. I couldn't deal with this yet. My emotions were all over the place. I wasn't ready yet to make the decision whether or not to spend the rest of my life with him. But I knew I couldn't think clearly when he was around.
His cologne, though subtle, filled the air in the cab and made forgetting that he was here even more difficult. I quickly texted Sam so she wouldn't be worried. If she knew Bruce was here…
I'm headed home. Had enough for one night. Had fun though. Thanks for convincing me. Please stay out as long as you want! I'm fine.
"Look," he said, taking my hand, which send shockwaves through my body.
"We're here." I interrupted him, taking my hand back and getting out of the cab.
We walked into the apartment as I heard my phone buzz.
Are you sure? If it's o.k. with you I'm gonna stay out. I heard there is a cool after party. Are you sure you're o.k.? - Sam asked in a text.
I responded that I was and heard him close the door behind him.
I turned around, facing him. He had taken off the mask and I remembered I was still wearing mine. I looked at him as I took mine off. He looked like he had aged in the last two weeks.
"So," I said, putting my clutch bag and the mask on a desk. "You wanted to talk, let's talk."
He ran his hand over his face, taking a deep breath. Why does he have to be this handsome?
"I made a huge mistake by not telling you and I wish I could take it back, make a different decision. I can't. All I can do is tell you how much I love you and how much it pains me to be away from you. You're everything to me. All I want is to spend the rest of my life with you."
I took a sharp inhale and wiped away a few tears. I swallowed hard. "That's all I wanted too a few weeks ago. But then you destroyed it all. This is not like a little mistake. You lied to me for so long and so thoroughly," I shook my head. "Even if I wanted to trust you again I just don't know if I can."
"What can I do?" He asked me helplessly, his eyes pain-ridden, his forehead in wrinkles.
"Nothing. You can't do anything."
"So this is it?" He asked quietly.
"I don't know. I don't know what to think."
"Catherine, please." He said walking up to me, taking my hand.
I moved away walking into the living room. "Stop it. Stop all of it." I still felt dizzy from all the alcohol pumping though my system.
"Stop what?" He said, following me.
"I can't think!" I yelled. "I can't think with you here."
"So you're just trying to forget about me? Is that why you're here all the way in L.A.?"
"I'm here to take a moment to breathe."
"I'm suffocating you now?" He asked.
"I didn't say that."
He looked at me worried and almost angry. "Then what are you saying?"
I started walking away from him again, not being able to handle him this close to me.
"Catherine!" He said angrily. "Stop running away from me." He said grabbing me by my arm and pulling me towards him with determination. He held me firmly by one arm, his face inches from mine. His lips slightly parted, his breath heavy. His eyes stared at me relentlessly.
I felt the anger burn on my lips, beating in my heart. At the same time his lips just inches away from mine.
That's when I could not take it anymore and I gave in to what my body kept telling me ever since I heard his voice at the masquerade ball.
I kissed him hard, wrapping my arms around his neck, moving my body closer against his. Feeling his lips on mine, tasting him again, it felt like someone hit me up with pure adrenaline.
He responded to the kiss gently, then breaking it for a second, looking at me as if he was checking this is what I really wanted. When I just stared at him, waiting, he pulled me toward him and kissed me hard. He pushed me against the wall, pinning me there with his body. Now it made perfectly good sense to me that he was so strong. He wrapped my legs around his waist and carried me towards the large wooden desk. Not breaking the kiss, I ran my hands through his hair.
When he placed me gently on the desk, he lifted himself off of me again. Breathlessly he was staring at me. "Are you sure?" He asked, looking into my eyes. I nodded and sat up to open his tie.
"Shouldn't we talk first?" He asked breathlessly.
"We should definitely not talk." I said as I slid off his tie and took off his jacket.
"I just don't want to move too fast." He said.
I didn't respond but simply moved down the straps of my dress, his eyes fixed on me. I took off my bra.
Suddenly he snapped into a different mode, pulling me toward him, kissing me hard again as he lowered me back down. His hand wandering slowly up my leg until he got to my panties. I took a sharp inhale. His hand kept moving on my panties and I felt my entire body respond to his touch.
He stopped and stood up again, removing his shirt as he kicked off his shoes. I hadn't laid eyes on his adonis-like body in too long. There were several fresh bruises and cuts. I remembered when he told me they were from a base jumping accident, and I had fallen for it. For all of it.
It didn't matter in this moment. This was simple. All I wanted was him in this moment. For just this moment, I could forget all the anger and pain. As he was about to open his belt, I slid off the table, standing up and kissing him again as my hands took over, opening his belt. His pants dropped down and I slowly followed, running my tongue over his muscular upper body. He groaned as I took him in my mouth. I stopped when I felt like he was too close to come. I stood back up and he pulled me toward him in one quick movement, kissing me.
As he backed me up to the desk again, I moved around, not breaking the kiss. Once I had him where I wanted, I broke the kiss, staring at him for a second before pushing my hand against his chest, signaling him that I wanted him to lie down. I moved over him, kissing him and he pulled up my chiffon dress, his hands firmly on my hips. I sat up straight again before pushing him inside of me. It felt even better than I remembered it and I moaned as I felt him fully inside of me.
I could tell he must feel similarly, every muscle in his body was flexed, his jaw clenched, his breath heavy as I moved on top of him. At the same time, I was beyond angry at him. I was furious. Furious for lying to me for all this time and for keeping me in the dark on purpose. How could he? As I was thinking that, I felt my movements getting harsher and he closed his eyes, biting his lips together hard. He took a sharp inhale, his eyes still closed.
How many times did he sleep with me, only to get up in the middle of the night, pretending to go to the office when in reality he dressed up as Batman and went out to hunt criminals. I clenched my jaw in anger as I started moving faster, holding on to his abs, every one of them flexed, his skin covered in sweat. All my anger didn't keep this from feeling incredible. I grabbed his arms tightly, as I went over the edge.
His eyes back open, his facial expression indicating he was struggling not to follow me just yet. I collapsed on him, feeling jolts still running through my body. He was bringing my face to his, just looking at me as we were both breathing heavily. Don't look at me like that - I thought to myself. You're messing with my brain. His dark eyes were burning through mine, his breath hitting my lips.
He wrapped his arms around me, standing up again and lowering on the table. Once again, it seemed like I was a fly and knowing why…. My brain was still screaming at him. I remembered when Sam suggested I sleep with Batman to get Bruce out of my brain. Now, I effectively was, only that they were the same person.
His lips hit mine with ferocity again as he continued where I had left of. He was moving slower, softer than I had, looking me directly in my eyes, knowing I had nowhere else to go. Nowhere else to escape his burning eyes. He moved my arms over my head and held them there by my wrists as he continued his assault, now deeper with every move. I arched my back with the next moan, lifting my neck, leaning my head backwards. It allowed my eyes to focus on something else than his hazel eyes. Knowing why I did it, he brought my chin back down with his thumb. "Look at me." He said just above a whisper.
I didn't know if I could. Even all the adrenaline and alcohol in the world didn't take the immense pain away from me and looking directly in his eyes made that pain only worse. That's exactly what I meant when I said I wasn't sure if I could be with him in the future. Even if I wanted to, even if my body begged for it, I wasn't sure if I was able to wipe all the betrayal away.
I tried to hold his burning gaze for as long as I could handle, which wasn't too long. I pushed him off, standing up again. He looked at me closely, trying to figure out what I was doing. I turned around, lowering my upper body on the desk. He was standing there for a second, hesitant to do what I wanted. So he did something I was clearly not expecting, kneeling down, his hands slowly running up my legs. What was he doing? Suddenly I felt his tongue.
Ugh! He is torturing me on purpose. His hands on my hips, moving me closer to him. There was no escaping this. My hands held on tightly to the desk as I felt myself about to come. That's when he stopped. Of course he would. My body was begging for relief. That's when he entered me again with full force, his hand on my back, pinning me down.
" 'this what you want?" He asked.
"Yes." I managed to say.
I felt my body give in once more, shattering underneath him. He stopped his movements, breathing heavy. I knew he wasn't done. Why did he stop?
Suddenly he left, grabbing something from the table. I turned around only to see him holding my mask in his hand.
"Put it back on." He ordered.
"What?"
"You wanted to pretend to be someone else tonight, put it back on."
I grabbed the mask and put it on.
"Happy now?" I asked and he kissed me hard in response.
"Almost." He replied as he lowered me on the desk again, his tie in his hand. He pulled my arms over my head again, binding my wrists together with the silky tie.
"What are you…?" I started to ask.
"Making sure you can't get away this time." He was really adamant about the whole looking in his eyes thing. He tied the tie tightly before standing up again, covering every inch of my body with his eyes.
Slowly, he was grabbing my legs on either side of his body, wrapping them around his waist, one hand slowly wandering up the chiffon fabric. He was soaking in every moment of this, I could tell. Maybe because he knew this could be the last time.
He leaned over again, kissing me. Softly at first and then more passionately, his tongue searching for mine. That's when he pushed himself inside of me again. My body was exhausted and I could take only so much more, but when his movements increased, my body responded once more. He didn't break the kiss, his hands firmly on my wrist, the other on my hip. My breath hiked up and he broke the kiss, looking me in my eyes. The same look that got me hooked on him that first moment we met at that stupid fundraiser, where he pretended to hate Batman.
Looking at him through the mask was indeed different. The lacy material around my eyes was almost like a layer of protection, as if I was not as vulnerable with the mask on. Is that what it feels like for him when he puts on the mask? He moved faster and harsher, until my body gave in for a third time, this time I was looking him straight in the eyes and just as I went over the edge, he followed me, groaning deeply next to me as his body was convulsing.
For a second we just laid there. I felt his fast heartbeat on my skin, smelled his hair. He slowly brought his face back to mine, looking at my eyes.
"You ok?" He asked breathlessly.
I nodded. "You?"
He smiled. "You have to ask?"
As he opened the tie around my wrists, I felt close to tears as the betrayal haunted me like a bad hangover. The second I felt my wrists free I pushed him off of me, taking off the mask and putting my dress back up.
He got dressed himself and although I couldn't see his face, I knew he was looking at me closely. Suddenly everything felt fake. Did he mean that he loved me? Or was that just another scheme? I couldn't tell. There were too many lies. A knot forming in my throat again, I tried to pull myself together.
I felt his arms slowly wrap around my waist as he pulled me toward him, pressing his lips softly against my neck.
"I've missed you so much. I feel lost without you." He whispered in my ear.
I cleared my throat as I freed myself from his grip, looking out the window. "You should go." I said coldly.
"Cat…" He said pleadingly. "Please don't throw this away."
"I didn't. You did. You made it change forever. I don't think we can ever be the same." I responded, still staring out the window.
"Then let's start fresh. We can start slow, we can postpone the wedding…"
"You don't understand…" I said turning around. "I need time to think about this and I need time away from you to do that. If I had to give you an answer today, I'm afraid it might not be the one you want to hear. That's why I need time to see if that is something I really want." Now I felt tears run down my cheeks again. Great! "I love you, more than anything." I said as I wiped the tears away and he looked at me more heartbroken than I had ever seen him. "But sometimes love is not enough."
"Don't say that." He said, his voice breaking.
"I don't know what I am saying. I can't think clearly. You asked me what you can do. This is me telling you what you can do. Give me time. Without calls, without you showing up on my doorstep… Just give me time."
He nodded slowly. "All I want for you is to be happy. If this is what makes you happy, I will refrain from contacting you."
I nodded, silent tears still running down my face.
"I should go." He said, grabbing his jacket, the tie and his mask.
He was already at the door when he suddenly turned around and walked back to me, pulling me toward him, kissing me with urgency, holding me desperately in his arms. He broke the kiss, looking into my eyes before wrapping me tightly into his embrace again.
He let me go and left without looking at me again. When the door shut behind him I felt like someone had shot me. The pain hitting me so hard all at once, I felt like I was suffocating. I felt incredibly torn. All I wanted was for things to go back the way they were before. But I was not sure if me getting back together with him would accomplish that. So much had been broken. It was as if he had slept with another woman. I wanted to trust him again, I just wasn't sure if I could. Under tears, I slowly sat on couch.
Why was this so incredibly painful? I made the choice to be away from him but even when I was with him now I wasn't sure if I could get past all the lies. I curled up on the couch. Numbness following the sadness.
The flight back to Gotham seemed to last a life time. Deep down he had hoped, if she saw him again in person, she would fly back home with him.
"Sometimes love isn't enough." Her comment still stung like a blade.
Images of her naked body flashed through his mind. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to slow down his adrenaline that immediately kicked in.
He had not even entertained the idea of sleeping with her tonight. A kiss was pretty much the best-case scenario he had imagined. When her lips hit his, he thought for a second she might have changed her mind.
Then she wrapped her arms around his neck, drawing him even closer and he was trying to pace himself. The way her skin felt, and her lips tasted, he wasn't very successful at that. He grabbed her, wrapping her legs around his waist, pinning her against the wall. Just feeling her naked legs sent shock waves through his body.
Before he knew what he was doing he carried her over to the desk, gently placing her there. She didn't pull back or slow down at all. His brain came back from auto-pilot - this might not be the best plan.
"Shouldn't we talk first?" He managed to ask.
She shook her head. "We should definitely not talk."
He was about to say something else, when she pulled down the straps of her dress. He felt his heart rate exhilarated even more. He had been dreaming of this ever since she left. His eyes glued to her, she removed her bra. There was no holding back anymore. His hand underneath her dress, she moaned softly into his mouth. He felt like he was almost attacking her. It felt incredible but there was just one thing - she couldn't even look him in the eyes. Whenever he looked at her, she quickly broke his gaze. She can't even look at me. It was a painful realization that things between them had changed and might never be the same. He had broken her trust too much.
Her movements were harsher than normal.
The whole time, he tried to make eye contact, as if that would proof that they still had a future together. Suddenly he realized that she could wear the mask. He knew the sense of feeling safer behind the mask all too well. He tied her wrists together and continued where he left off. This time she had no way to escape his eyes. She was holding his gaze, her dark eyes burning like a flame behind the lacy material of the mask. He could see the pain and betrayal in her eyes but he also felt closer to her in this moment than ever since she left.
That feeling was wiped away moments later when she pushed him off, got up and stood silently in front of the window. He had missed her so much and he couldn't imagine a life without her. He wrapped his arm around her waist, gently kissing her neck.
"You should go." She said and he felt like he was shattering into a million pieces.
He saw how torn she was, tears running down her skin. He hated himself for causing her pain and for breaking her trust.
If only he could go back in time and tell her. But what done was done. Alfred had told him over and over again. But he didn't want to listen. He was too scared. Too scared of losing her. What irony.
As he was standing in front of her, he felt helpless, lost for words of how he could repair the damage done. Maybe there was no way to repair this.
"Give me time. Without calls, without you showing up on my doorstep… Just give me time."
She essentially asked to take a break. He had hoped for a different outcome. Was this a break-up in increments?
When he got to the door he realized this might be the last time he could kiss her. Maybe this was the end?
He ran back to her, pulled her toward his lips one last time. Then he wrapped his arms around her tightly, saying he loved her. He didn't want to let her go. Not now. Not ever.
When he closed the door behind him and walked to grab a cab to the airport, he felt empty. He wiped the tears from his face absently he hadn't even noticed. It was his fault. If only he had told her.
Now that he was in the plane, high above the clouds, he didn't feel any less helpless and broken. He didn't know how he was going back to Gotham, back to their bedroom, her clothes and items everywhere…staring at him as a reminder of the gaping wound of her absence.
"Alfred." He said in a weak voice. "Yes Master Wayne?" "Do we have any Whiskey on board?" He asked, staring out the window, wondering how she felt right now and hoping it was better than he felt.
The butler didn't answer. He looked up to see Alfred looking at him concerned.
"Do we?" He asked again. Alfred nodded. "Coming right up, sir."
He needed something to dull the pain. As he downed the first glass, he felt little effect and poured another one. The dark liquor not filling the glass fast enough. As he downed that one as well he noticed Alfred looking at him concerned. "I'm fine Alfred." He responded.
The butler just raised his eyebrows.
"Fair enough." He said as he poured another glass. "I've lived my whole life not being fine. I can handle it. You don't need to be worried."
"I've seen the pain in your eyes since the day you lost your parents. Then you lost Rachel… But when you met Miss Catherine I saw a light go on inside of you that I'd feared be lost forever. I want something better for you than pain and misery."
"You don't need to convince me. I want her in my life. I'm ready to give up the cape for her. I'd do whatever it takes to get her back. But this is beyond my control. It's her decision now." He said and downed another glass of the burning liquor.
"Cat?" I heard Sam walk in when daylight was slowly shining through the curtains. I didn't respond, still on the couch, unable to move. "Are you ok? Cat?" I nodded. "I'm fine."
"What happened?"
I couldn't tell her about Bruce. I felt stupid for being weak once again and sleeping with him.
"I…" I slowly sat up, my head ringing in pain. "Just being out made me think about him again." She sighed and frowned. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pushed you to go out." "No, you should have. It was good."
"How is this good? Do you need to go to a doctor?" "Can they fix a broken heart?"
"Maybe you should just get back together with him? I just hate to see you like this." I shook my head. "It's not that simple. I feel like he is a different person now. I can't trust him anymore and I feel like I have to learn again who he is and if I can be with him. But I love him at the same time." "I know." She nodded. "Is there anything I can do?"
I shook my head. "I'm sorry." I said. "For what?" She asked as she got me a glass of water.
"For being a pathetic mess."
"Don't even think about that." She said as she handed me the water. I nodded. "I really don't know what to do."
"You don't need to tonight. All you have to do is look after yourself. Don't think about how he feels right now, because I know you do. Don't think about whether or not to spend your life with the guy. Baby steps. Today, we're just looking after Cat. That's our mission." She said as she hugged me tightly.
"Thanks Sam. I don't know what I would do without you." "Don't even mention it." She said, still holding on to me. "You smell like a guy's cologne."
Damn it.
"Yeah, I was sorta dancing with a guy." "No way. Was it the blonde hottie from the rooftop?"
"Yeah." I felt stupid lying to her.
"What's his name?" "Benjamin something… Lives in Venice." I responded, supporting my lie with some actual facts.
"Benjamin Sullivan?" She asked, her eyebrows raised. I remembered Bruce call him by his last name. "Yeah." She got back up and pulled a magazine from her shelf. "Benjamin Sullivan as in L.A.'s richest and most eligible bachelor."
It showed a picture of what very much looked like the Benjamin I met at the party on the front page of the magazine. He was handsome, wearing a tailored suit, smiling genuinely at the camera. "Oh no…" I sighed. "You have a way of picking them." Sam chuckled. "I didn't… He was just there. I don't know…" I shook my head. Now it made sense that they knew each other. Billionaire's club and all.
Sam laughed as I collapsed my hands on my face. "Apparently regularly rich doesn't do it for Catherine Hunter anymore." She said. "I didn't know." I protested.
"You're just a magnet for the uber wealthy and uber handsome now." She smirked at me. "Yeah, yeah…" I smirked back, which was the closest to laughing I could come at this moment.
It had been three weeks since I had seen Bruce last. He kept his promise and hadn't contacted me at all since then.
I was in the plane back from my impromptu vacation to Hawaii. I just needed time to myself on an island far away from everything. Luckily the big severance check from work meant I did not have to worry about money for a while. A week on Kauai by myself had done wonders. I felt more like myself again and more in acceptance of my situation. I knew I needed to get back into work or I would go insane. I was just not sure what that would be yet. I also missed Gotham. It had become my new home. The thought of going back was hard but being away from the city had been hard too. I was clear what I wanted for my career, I wasn't so sure in my personal life. There were days when I was sure I wanted to end it for good with Bruce and then there were days when I wanted to give it another try. I knew I had to talk to him soon no matter what. Even if it was to say that I needed even more time. But how much more time before I was effectively ending it in slow increments anyway?
The plane touched down in L.A. and Sam picked me up from the airport. The serenity in Hawaii brought me to a more centered place.
"You look great." Sam noted immediately.
"Thanks. I feel a little more normal."
We got to her apartment.
"So, I am thinking about moving back to Gotham."
"With him or without him?" She asked, still refraining from using his name.
"Without him for now. I want to move into an apartment by myself for now."
"How much longer do you want to keep him waiting though?"
I sighed. "I know. I can't much longer. I'm still torn But I think I want to give it another try. Start fresh."
"Either way you need to talk to him soon. This is not fair to him either."
"I know. I'm going to maybe tomorrow." The thought of calling him twisted and turned my stomach. Hearing his voice again was not something I was mentally prepared for quite yet.
"No frowning allowed." She said, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Let's get something to eat."
We went to our favorite sushi restaurant. No matter how far we lived away, Sam and I were able to get right back to being best friends whenever we finally saw each other. We were laughing, talking and enjoying the food.
"I've gotten some offers here in L.A." I said.
"You have? From where?" "Mostly entertainment based…which is not what I want to do. And I know why they want to hire me…" "Because you're Bruce Wayne's former fiancee." Sam said matter-of-factly.
I cleared my throat. The mention of his name really shouldn't be this painful anymore. "Yeah. So it's not ideal but at least I would have something. I sent out my resumes in Gotham as well and I actually heard back from one online paper that I respect. They're doing investigative journalism and they said I could write under an alias."
"That sounds more up your ally." "It is."
The next morning I woke up with an intense need to vomit. I ran to the bathroom, barely making it in time. Sam knocked on the door.
"You ok?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said after I rinsed my mouth out with water and ran cold water over my face.
I opened the door. "Do you feel fine?" I asked her.
"Yeah."
"Weird, we had the same things to eat. Unless it was something on the plane? I didn't eat anything there though." As I was mentally going through what I had to eat yesterday, I noticed Sam's expression change.
"What?" I asked.
She took a deep breath. "Ok, don't freak out but, is there any possibility..." she bit her lips together.
"Any possibility what?" I asked confused.
"...that you could be pregnant?"
I laughed and shook my head. "No I have been on birth control the whole time I was with him so..."
That's when it hit me. I felt color drain from my face.
"Cat? What is it?" Sam asked concerned.
"Oh my God." I said barely above a whisper, feeling my body starting to shake. It couldn't be.
"You're scaring me. What's going on?"
"Oh my God." I said again, sliding down the door until I sat on the ground. Sam sat next to me.
"Walk me through this."
"I stopped taking the pill when I left Gotham because I left them at his place and I totally forgot to get new ones here..."
"Well, you're fine then. It's not like sperm is retro-active." She smiled.
"No, no... I...slept with him since then."
"Wait…what? When?"
"After the masquerade ball."
"He was at the masquerade ball?"
"Yeah…"
"I thought you were dancing with Benjamin." I shook my head in shock.
"Catherine Victoria Hunter. How dare you not tell me about this?" Sam said.
"I...I...felt embarrassed or something."
"Now I understand why you were such a mess that night." She said, noticing my shocked facial expression.
"Ok, no reason to freak out yet. You stay here and I get you a pregnancy test. It might be nerves, flying... Who knows. Ok? So we're not freaking out until we have to."
"Ok." I said, trying to keep it together.
It seemed like she was gone for forever. She finally walked into the apartment with three different pregnancy tests.
"Just pee on all of them. I think there's such a thing as a false positive. So this should cover that."
I nodded, taking the boxes quietly, walking into the bathroom.
How could I have been this stupid? I had totally forgotten that I was off birth control. How could I forget that?
After I was done I opened the bathroom door again and Sam was anxiously awaiting.
"And?" She asked.
"It takes a few minutes." I mumbled.
She nodded. "Listen sweetie, whatever the result and whatever your decision, your not alone in this. We will figure this out. Ok?"
I nodded, my heart beat drumming in my ear. Time seemed to pass by too slowly. I watched my stopwatch on my iPhone slowly tick towards the final time, second by second.
"It's time." I said barely audible.
Sam looked at me in anticipation. "Want me to check?" She asked.
I shook my head, a giant lump forming in my throat. I took a deep breath before walking back into the bathroom, scared of what I might find. I was standing at the sink, looking at myself in the mirror, all three pregnancy tests just below me. I couldn't be pregnant. I wasn't able to deal with this yet. Not this way.
I stared at myself, unable to bring my eyes to the tests. It's like a band aid, you just gotta rip it off. There is no reason in prolonging this any further. Just look at the tests. With another deep breath I lowered my eyes.
All three tests read 'pregnant'.
