The jounin is late
There's only our team left in the classroom, and the time is long past the hour when we were told to reassemble. This does not seem a good indication of our new instructor's reliability, although I hold out hope that it might be a fluke; an emergency that suddenly cropped up, or a case of simple misunderstanding. I do not want a listless teacher encumbering my progress. If they try to saddle me with one, I will complain until either the instructor or I get reassigned. I'm prepared to be a right menace about it if need be. Few things are more important to me right now than securing myself a teacher capable of nurturing my growth properly and efficiently during this absolutely crucial period of development, as the teenage years are when one's chakra settles into the shape and size it will have in adulthood.
I don't know anything about the jounin that will be our instructor. Not their name, or achievements, or gender even. I asked our school teacher, Iruka-sensei, if he knew who I would be assigned to as a genin, but he didn't. Or pretended he didn't, maybe, but I don't think so. He's not that good a liar. I asked at the administration's office too, but they either didn't know or wouldn't say (it's harder to tell with someone I don't know). Having failed in every approved line of information-gathering, I considered trying to investigate further by less lawful methods, but I decided that the risk of getting caught doing something illegal wouldn't outweigh the potential gain. Only now does it occur to me that this might have been what we graduates were supposed to do: Discover our teacher for ourselves and seek them out — one of a ninja's primary skills is information-gathering, after all — and that's why ours hasn't show up yet! But, no, that's not very likely. All of the other teams have already been fetched by their respective jounin instructors, after all, and I can confidently say that if such a stealth assignment didn't occur to me until just now, then certainly none of my former classmates would have thought of it any faster. Except possibly Sasuke, and he's still here.
In order not to waste time, I'm reading a book as I wait. Fortunately, I've cultivated the habit of always bringing a book along with me wherever I go. This custom has proved its value dozens of times over, and does so again today — if I needed any further validation of the hypothesis. It's a book about advanced genjutsu that I wheedled my friend Ino into lending me. They wouldn't have let me borrow it at the library, since I was until very recently just a student, and access to such books is restricted. My parents, not being shinobi, don't have access either, but Ino's father is a jounin, and he has a collection of advanced books that he'll let Ino borrow (not knowing that she then lends them to me). It annoys me that I have to go to such lengths just to nullify the advantage afforded to the kids with shinobi parents — not that all of them bother exploiting it, the idiots — as maintaining a friendship with Ino requires quite a lot of tedious, time-wasting discussion of gossip, shopping for clothes and experimenting with our hair. The system is grossly unfair, and someday I am going to change it.
None of the other two are reading while we wait. Not that I would expect it of that hopeless dunce Naruto — how he managed to actually graduate is beyond me; I suspect Iruka-sensei might have had a hand in it, though; he has a bit of a weakness for the boy — and I've learned not to expect it of Sasuke either, although that is another thing that baffles me, and has for a long time.
Sasuke has been my chief rival at school since we first began at the academy, and my only rival these last few years, as we've completely outstripped our classmates. He's good at everything: Taijutsu, genjutsu and ninjutsu — theory as well as practice. And yet I've never seen him reading anything advanced. The closest he's come to it has been flipping idly through some of our (laughably low-level) school textbooks sometimes. How all that knowledge has gotten into his head is a mystery; perhaps through osmosis — or more likely; he studies like mad at home in order to be able to appear totally suave and effortlessly superior at school. And maybe the Uchiha-clan imparted all their secrets to him before the massacre happened, or left behind an impressively stocked secret library perhaps.
Sasuke is the only one who ever beats me at anything, and I loathe the guy. Not because he sometimes beats me — that would be childish — but because whenever I succeed in beating him, he doesn't show as much as a flicker or emotion about it, as if I, and the test, and our grades, and the entire school system, are of no importance whatsoever to him. Like it's all barely even worth his scorn. It's the way he looks at everyone — and for some reason, the girls go mad over it; I have Ino's word for this — but how dare he look that way even at me, the only one capable of ever giving him a challenge?! He never seems to care whether I beat him or not, and the lack of emotional response is so infuriating, it takes the edge right off my glee. When I'm triumphant in victory or rankled by defeat, he's equally blank-faced and uncaring! I hate the bastard. And yet, even now I can't seem to stop looking at the way his coal-black hair falls over his new shiny new hitai-ate and waves down his neck into the high collar of his shirt … No, scratch that. I hastily look away, toward where Naruto is wedging a blackboard eraser between the sliding door and the frame.
"What are you doing, Naruto?" I ask wearily, even though I know already.
"Heh heh heh," Naruto snickers as he jumps down from the stool he used for standing on. "It's their fault for being late."
I consider getting up and removing the booby trap in an effort to score points with the teacher, but dismiss the idea quickly: It'd be too obvious an attempt to suck up, and probably redundant to boot.
"A jounin isn't going to fall for a plain old booby trap like that," Sasuke says scornfully, echoing my own conclusion.
Naruto doesn't get the chance to have an argument with Sasuke — whom he hates even more than I do — because just then someone opens the door from the outside … and the eraser falls onto their head, raising a small cloud of chalk dust, before falling the rest of the way to the floor.
Naruto laughs uproariously, while I'm stunned speechless. The jounin actually fell for it? He really didn't notice, and couldn't even dodge, a plain old chalk eraser wedged at the top of a door frame? Something must be seriously wrong with my model of the world if something like that can happen.
The jounin looks at us without anger, or rancour, or embarrassment, just a kind of lethargic disappointment … I think. His face is half covered by a mask, and very hard to read as a result. His hitai-ate is also dragged down on one side to cover the left eye, for some reason. But the eye that can be seen has an indifferent, almost weary look. His hair is grey and stands up rather, while he's dressed in the conventional getup for Konoha shinobi: A green vest with lots of pockets, and dark trousers fastened with equipment pouches.
The jounin steps into the room and picks the eraser up off the floor before saying anything.
"Hmm, how should I say this …," he begins slowly, "my first impression of you guys are … dislike, I guess."
"Let's see … why don't we begin with self-introductions?"
We've relocated to one of the many rooftop gardens in Konoha, were us three genins are sitting on a shallow couple of steps (that serve no particular purpose that I can see), while our jounin instructor sits perched on the rooftop fence a few feet in front of us.
"What do you want to know?" I ask.
"What you like, hate, your dreams and hobbies. Well … Something like that."
"Hey, hey," Naruto says, "why don't you introduce yourself first, sensei?"
It's quite a bold demand, though I must admit I'm curious as well. I'm glad Naruto asked.
"Me?" says the jounin. "My name is Hatake Kakashi. I don't feel like telling you my likes and dislikes. As for my dream, well … Anyway, I have lots of hobbies."
Hatake Kakashi? As in, Sharingan Kakashi? I'm suddenly so excited I have trouble not letting it show. I want to leap to my feet and punch the air and scream "YES!", because this is totally awesome! They've given me one of the most famous among the current crop of jounin as an instructor!
… And now it makes even less sense that he couldn't manage to dodge that eraser.
Knowing what I know of his accomplishments — and I've heard of those from so many different sources that it seems very improbable that they're all lies — it can't be a case of the jounin standard in Konoha having slipped outrageously. So the only explanation is that he chose not to dodge it for some reason. Maybe he's one of those "brilliant but lazy" types who conserve their energy for situations where they have to act, and otherwise just don't bother. That would fit with his laid-back attitude and sort of make sense, I guess … except for the fact that getting all that the chalk dust out of his hair will probably turn out to be more of a bother than just dodging the eraser would have been. Assuming he cares, of course.
"Now it's your turn," Kakashi-sensei says. "You first," he adds, looking at Naruto.
"My name is Uzumaki Naruto!" the blonde boy proclaims cheerfully. "What I like is cup ramen. But I like the ramen at Ichiraku that Iruka-sensei bought for me even more! I hate the three minutes that I have to wait after I put in the hot water. My hobby is to eat and compare cup ramens! And my dream is to become greater than the hokages, and make all the villagers acknowledge my existence!"
I want to smile disdainfully, but restrain myself. Anyway, at least he has a goal of some sort, even if it is an impossible one. You should set goals for yourself.
"Okay, next." The jounin's lethargic voice gives no indication of what he thinks of Naruto's proclamation. He looks to me, so I take up the unspoken cue.
"I'm Haruno Sakura," I say. "I like to train, study and learn. I hate wasting time. I don't have any hobbies." I mean, who has the time? "My goal is …"
Actually, my life's ambition is to study chakra and work out the underlying rules governing its use; learn everything there is to know about jutsu and develop the ultimate one; become hokage and rework the internal structure of Konohagakure into something a lot less inefficient; take control of the rest of the shinobi world and do the same thing to the other ninja villages.
But it wouldn't do to say that out loud. Gotta stick to my role as serious but not at all revolutionary-minded student for now.
"… to become the world's foremost chakra expert," I conclude.
"Okay, last one," Kakashi-sensei says, looking to Sasuke.
"My name is Uchiha Sasuke," he says, without moving, and without his expression changing in the slightest. "There are many things that I hate, and not really any that I like. Also, I have an ambition that I have no intention to leave as just a dream: The revival of my clan, and to kill a certain man."
And that man would be the one who massacred the Uchiha-clan: Sasuke's own elder brother, Itachi. I've managed to learn that much, although most of what happened on that night is still a mystery to me. I guess it's no real surprise that revenge would be Sasuke's life ambition, although personally I feel like he'd be better off focusing on the "revival" part, at least for now. What good will it do the Uchiha clan if its very last scion goes off and gets himself slaughtered too?
"Alright," Kakashi-sensei says, "you all have unique personalities, and I like that. Well then, we're going to start on a mission tomorrow."
"Sir!" Naruto exclaims eagerly. "What kind of mission is that?!"
"First we're going to do something with only us four."
"What, what, what, wha-at?!"
"Survival training."
"Survival training?"
"Why are we going to train when it's a mission?" I ask, a bit confused.
"This is no ordinary training," Kakashi-sensei says, a note of sternness creeping into his voice for the first time.
"Then what kind of training is it?" Naruto asks.
For answer, Kakashi-sensei starts chuckling softly. It's the most emotion I've seen from him yet. It's also rather annoying. Why doesn't he just get to the point already?
"Will you explain what you mean, Sensei?" I ask politely, burying my annoyance.
"Well," he says, still chuckling a little. "If I say this, I'm sure the three of you are going to want to chicken out."
"Hah?" Naruto says.
Kakashi-sensei puts his chin into his hand and says ominously:
"Out of the twenty-seven graduates, only nine will actually become genins. The other eighteen will be sent back to the academy. In other words, this training is going to be a very hard test with a sixty-six percent drop-out rate. See! You guys are chickening out already!"
He must have gotten that from Naruto's expression — which is almost ludicrously shocked, although he doesn't look, to me, very close to chickening out — because I'm sure neither mine or Sasuke's expressions has betrayed any surprise at all. Sasuke must be as emotionless to look at as ever, and I'm pretty good at controlling my facial expressions. And even though I am surprised, it's from sudden understanding, not dismay, because this makes so much sense. Of course they're not going to let most of my useless classmates become genins just like that! I thought it was weird that they allowed them to graduate in the first place, and here's the explanation. This knowledge is also very reassuring, since it tells me that Konoha's standard for genins isn't quite as low as I thought. I'm not at all afraid of being eliminated. I know I'll be among the nine who pass.
"No way!" Naruto yells. "I went through so much trouble! Then — then what was the final exam for?!"
"That? It's just to eliminate the truly hopeless cases. The ones who are left are the ones with actual potential."
"Wha-at?!"
"Anyway, I'm going to determine whether you pass or fail tomorrow at the training grounds. Bring your ninja equipment and meet at five in the morning! Now, then. Meeting over. Oh, and don't eat breakfast. Or you'll throw up."
The jounin is late again.
By the time he finally shows up at seven, I've had time enough to read an entire chapter of my book. Beside me on the grass, Naruto is quietly snoring. Only Sasuke is still standing. Like he thinks sitting down would irreparably mar his coolness-factor or something.
"Hello, fellows," is Kakashi-sensei's laid-back greeting when he finally shows. "Good morning."
"You're late!" Naruto and I scream in chorus. I just can't help it; I hate wasting time.
"Well … a black cat crossed my path, so …" He stops and gives an affected cough. "Ahem. Let's move on." He walks over to a row of three broad poles that are set into the grass of the training ground (the purpose of which I've never been able to fathom) and sets an alarm clock down on top of the middle one. "Okay, alarm set for twelve o'clock," Kakashi-sensei says, then draws something out from one of his pockets and holds it up before us: A pair of bells that jangle softly from the motion. "Today's task is to get one of these bells from me before noon," he announces, fastening the bells at his hip. "Whoever fails won't get lunch. I'm going to tie you up there" — he points to the three poles — "and eat lunch in front of you."
So that's why he said not to eat breakfast, huh? Well, I did anyway, reasoning that it was better to start out at full strength, even if I did end up throwing it up later.
"But why are there only two bells?" I ask.
"Well, since there's only two, at least one of you will have to be tied to the pole. That person will fail since they failed to complete the mission. They'll go back to the academy. It might be just one, or all three. You can use your shuriken. You won't be able to succeed unless you come at me with the intent to kill."
"Uh, but you couldn't even dodge that eraser," Naruto says, chuckling. "You're gonna get yourself killed!"
"Only the weak speak loudly," Kakashi-sensei says dismissively. "Now, let's forget the dunce and start on my signal."
And that, of course, is when Naruto snaps, and runs at Kakashi-sensei with his kunai drawn. Naruto's running speed is quite high — he's not bad at taijutsu, really, just rather predictable — but Kakashi-sensei moves with a lightness of foot that defies the eye's ability to even pick out his movements. Suddenly he's just there, right behind Naruto, with one hand on the boy's head and the other around the wrist of the hand holding the weapon.
"Don't get hasty," he says. "I didn't say start yet."
I back away a few paces. So this is how a jounin looks in action. I've never seen any of their moves so close-up before. It's incredible. My heart beats quickly with instinctual fear and furious desire: This is what I want. This ability is what I'm going to achieve.
His incredible speed also makes it very clear that he could have dodged that eraser easily. Why didn't he?
"But it looks like you have the will to kill me now," Kakashi-sensei says. "I think I might finally be starting to like you three." He lets go of Naruto, who also backs away from him. "We're going to begin! Ready! Start!"
"Now let's have a real match!" Naruto declares at the top of his voice. He's standing right in front of Kakashi-sensei, on the grassy plain before the river, and hasn't made any attempt at hiding himself whatsoever, unlike me and Sasuke.
I'm crouched inside a leafy bush at the nearby forest's edge, observing the situation and trying to think how best to approach the problem of securing one of the bells. This approach of Naruto's was unexpected — although I guess it really shouldn't have been — and on the face of it, idiotic. But he might actually gather me some valuable information by doing this, so I've decided I'm all for it.
"Hey, aren't you a bit weird compared with the rest?" Kakashi-sensei asks.
"The only thing that's weird here is your hairstyle," Naruto quips before running at Kakashi-sensei — like he thinks he's some hero in a play. He stops abruptly when the jounin makes a move for one of his equipment pouches. I'm not sure whether that's good sense or not. Although considering how his previous mad rush went, it probably is.
"Ninja know-how number one; taijutsu. I'll teach you that first."
Taijutsu? I think, so is he going for a weapon or not?
I get my answer when Kakashi-sensei proceeds to draw a book out of his pouch. I'm completely stumped for a second. The only sensible thought I manage is "hey, he's my comrade!" — but then I notice the bright colours on the front cover on the book, and the "forbidden" sign on the back that I can spot even at this distance, and I understand that this isn't a textbook at all, but adult literature of the type that Ino has tried to interest me in before.
Naruto looks even more stumped than I feel.
"What's the matter?" Kakashi-sensei asks, calm as ever. "Come and get me."
"But, um, um … why did you take out a book?"
"Why? Well, I got curious as to how the story is going to develop. Don't worry about it. It'll be the same whether I read this or not."
Which of course makes Naruto snap yet again, and run at him, yelling "I'm going to pound you!"
Kakashi-sensei meets or dodges all of Naruto's punches and kicks in quick succession, stoically reading — or pretending to read — all the while.
And I finally understand why he didn't dodge the eraser.
He was messing with us! He wanted to confuse and goad us, just like he's doing now with the book. His personality must be pretty twisted for something like that to appeal … But I still want him for my teacher. Even if that'll involve getting jerked around by Kakashi-sensei's twisted sense of humour every day in the foreseeable future. Actually, I must be pretty twisted myself, because being goaded like this only makes me more eager to prove myself to him.
Suddenly, Kakashi-sensei is behind Naruto again, having dodged the last of his punches.
"A ninja should not let the enemy get behind him multiple times, idiot," he says. He's crouching behind Naruto and I can see that he has closed his book and formed his hands into the Seal of the Tiger, with the first and second fingers outstretched and the rest folded. That's the seal for katon — fire ninjutsu. But … wasn't this supposed to be a taijutsu demonstration?
"Konohagakure secret taijutsu master art! A Thousand Years of Pain!"
And he shoves the Seal of the Tiger into Naruto's butt, sending him flying into the nearby river with a splash.
Then Kakashi-sensei takes out his book again and resumes reading.
… Definitely a twisted sense of humour, I conclude from my hiding place.
But if this is how he's going to play it, just joke techniques and running around, then I'm sure I'll be able to get a bell from him easily enough. I wouldn't stand a chance if Kakashi-sensei started fighting for real, of course — none of us would — but why would he do that? If that was how they played it, then no one would ever become genins, and the system would collapse. I know I'm one of the two best students in the graduate class. I should be able to do this easily.
It looks like Naruto won't be getting me any more information, and Sasuke doesn't seem to want to go on the offensive either. Is it time for me to make my move?
My thought process is interrupted by two shuriken that suddenly come flying out of the river. Kakashi-sensei catches them easily on two fingers without even looking. He's still reading his book.
Then Naruto comes out of the river too, crawling on the ground and coughing up water.
"What's wrong?" Kakashi-sensei asks. "You won't get any lunch if you don't get a bell by noon."
"I know that already!" a sopping wet Naruto exclaims.
"You said you were going to exceed the hokages, but your actions say otherwise."
"Shit! Shit! I can still fight even if I'm hungry! I was just off guard a little while ago!" Naruto yells this at the retreating back of Kakashi-sensei, who's walking away from the river bank and from him. "Shit, I'm hungry so my strength is … but I have to get a bell no matter what. I can't … I can't fail in a place like this no matter what! I'm going to become a ninja!"
At this proclamation, six other Narutos erupt from the river.
"HA-HAH!" one of them yells, "THIS IS MY SPECIALITY! MASS KAGE BUNSHIN!"
Kage bunshin? I think, stunned. Not illusory clones but clones with actual substance, made out of massive amounts of chakra? That … can't be right, can it? How could Naruto manage something like that?
Without high-level sensory ninjutsu, there's no way to tell whether the clones are illusory or not, so I can't say for certain that they are what he says they are … at least not until anther clone suddenly grabs onto Kakashi-sensei from behind, and proves beyond any doubt that these are clones with actual substance, not just illusory ones.
I'm so distracted by this momentous revelation — how could Naruto possibly know a ninjutsu of this level? How could he have enough chakra to maintain not just one but seven kage bunshin?! — that I almost miss the huge mistake that Naruto's just made. He's holding onto Kakashi-sensei with one clone and going for a KO with another … and completely disregarding the bells that are less than a foot away from the left hand of the grab-on clone.
No, no, no, you idiot! I scream inside my head. Go for the bell, not a knock-out punch!
I have the sense not to shout this out loud, though. Why would I want to reduce the number of available bells by letting Naruto have one? Then I'd have to fight Sasuke for the last one, and my chances of winning would be much lower than if my opponent was Naruto.
As I might have predicted had I not been doubly distracted, Kakashi-sensei doesn't actually get hit by Naruto's punch: He uses the kawarimi jutsu to switch places with another one of Naruto's kage bunshin, and the only one Naruto ends up hitting is himself. After a pathetic scuffle among his own clones — probably thinking that Kakashi-sensei would be hiding among them — Naruto finally has the sense to dispel the jutsu, and is left standing bruised and battered all alone on the training ground.
Well, it wasn't an absolutely hopeless attempt, I have to concede that much. He had the right idea when he made use of a feint to distract the jounin from the real threat. If he'd kept his actual goal more firmly in mind, he might have been able to get one of the bells. Or then again maybe not, because Kakashi-sensei probably got himself captured by one of the Naruto clones on purpose.
Suddenly, Naruto makes another movement. It startles me, because Kakashi-sensei has vanished completely. But Naruto seems to have noticed something in the grass underneath a nearby tree.
"A bell?!" I hear him exclaim in eager tones. "He must've been in a hurry if he dropped a bell!"
Naruto runs toward what he's spotted on the ground …
… And is promptly dangling upside-down at the end of a rope.
Well, yeah, of course it's a trap, idiot, I think exasperatedly. Could it have been more obvious?
"Hey! Hey!" he yells; angrily or confusedly, I can't really tell. "The bell!" He makes motions as if to grab for it, but of course he's much too high to reach.
Kakashi-sensei appears again then, picking up the bell he'd planted as a lure for the trap.
"Act only after thinking carefully," he says, "or your own move will end up being used against you. And … don't fall for such an obvious trap, idiot." There's actual humour in this voice as he says this. He's enjoying himself, just as I thought. "Ninja needs to be able to read the hidden meanings within the hidden meanings."
"I know that!" Naruto yells.
"Uh, I'm telling you because you don't."
Kakashi-sensei starts pointing out in detail exactly what Naruto's doing wrong, but I'm hardly listening.
So even a high-level ninjutsu won't be enough to pass, huh? Demonstrations of raw power isn't what he's after then. There must be some sort of pass condition, or no one would ever graduate, but obviously that condition is not to demonstrate strength enough to deserve genin status.
No, of course not, I say to myself. Now you're being an idiot!
What's the most important thing to a ninja? The mission. The mission comes before everything. That's what Kakashi-sensei is after. He's checking to see if we're able to set our own welfare and goals aside for the sake of the mission. Our own goals … Which in this case would be passing the test. But the test is passed by achieving the mission, so how …?
My thought processes grind to a halt yet again as a small barrage of weapons suddenly fly out of the forest and hits Kakashi-sensei. Sasuke! He's spotted an opening and made his move … but too hastily: The jounin has used the kawarimi jutsu again, and only a log — stuck full of kunai and shuriken — falls to the ground in front of where Naruto is dangling upside down from the tree. And Kakashi-sensei is gone; in pursuit of Sasuke, no doubt.
I try to get my brain back on track again. I feel like I was so close to arriving at the answer.
Okay, putting the mission first. But how do we set aside our own goal of passing for the sake of the mission? Easy! We just need to work together as a team of three! That'll sacrifice the opportunity of getting a bell for at least one of the group (of course, I'll make sure this isn't me), and prove that we've put the mission ahead of everything else! Which means I've got to somehow get the other two to cooperate with me …
I bolt from my hiding place, running over to where Naruto is still dangling.
"Sakura-chan?" he exclaims, sounding both puzzled and happy at the sight of me.
"We need to talk," I say. "Get down, will you?"
"Oh, sure." He draws a kunai from one of his pockets and cuts the rope around his ankles — possibly he was too worked up to think of this earlier — and backflips in the air to land easily on his feet. He really is quite good at taijutsu. "What is it?"
I want to ask him how he has managed to learn the kage bunshin jutsu, but, unfortunately, right now I don't have time. That'll have to wait for later. For now …
"I want you to work with me," I say.
"Okay," Naruto says promptly, grinning hugely at me. I have to admit that his quick agreement rather takes me aback. But then, I've noticed before that he seems to have a bit of a crush on me. Exactly why he should I don't know, because it's not like I've ever been particularly nice to him (or anyone else, for that matter). Most likely it's just that he thinks I'm cute, which is not a worthwhile basis for a crush in my opinion. Up until now I've only ever found his liking for me mildly annoying. Now, for the first time, I'm actually glad of it.
"Um, okay, good," I say. "Let's go, then. We need to get to Sasuke before Kakashi-sensei takes him out or something."
"Uh, why?" Naruto asks, frowning.
"We need him too," I say. "We need to work together, all three of us."
"No, no, no way! I'm not working with that bastard!"
"We need him."
"No, we don't!"
"We do. Now shut up and come along. I'll explain later!"
I start running, and Naruto — thankfully — follows me. He might not like it, but he's doing as I say for now. Hurray for girl power? Not that I can take any credit for my face being cute. Just a freak accident of heredity. Yet I'm glad of it. Not just because of how it makes Naruto willing to do what I say, but because attractiveness is always a valuable trait for an aspiring leader. People will listen more readily if you're good-looking; you automatically have more charisma. I'm sure it'll come in even more handy in later life.
Unfortunately, Kakashi-sensei has already gotten to Sasuke by the time we manage to locate him.
"Heh-heh-heh-HA! HA-HA-HA! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA!"
Naruto is doubled up, hands around his stomach, shaking with uproarious laughter. If Kakashi-sensei didn't spot us while we were moving through the forest, he definitely knows where we are by now — or at least where Naruto is. I consider telling him to shut it, but it's already too late and most likely he wouldn't be able to stop laughing in any case. In all fairness, I feel my own lips twitching as I stand looking down at Sasuke's head poking up from the ground where he's been buried to the neck, yet I keep my face in check and manage not to smile.
"HA-HA-HA-HA! Heh-heh-heh. Ah-hah ha!"
Even in this humiliating position, Sasuke looks his usual scornful self. Or, wait; is there an edge to the scorn, some other hint of emotion just barely noticeable? Self-reproach, perhaps, or maybe embarrassment? It's faint, but I think it's there. Maybe he was never quite as indifferent to losing as he always made it look.
"HA-HA-HA-HA! HEH-HEH! HEH-HEH-HEH!"
"Okay," I say, judging his predicament with a discerning eye. "I think I can get you out."
"Don't tell me you've mastered doton ninjutsu?" Sasuke asks, half scornfully, half with real surprise.
"HA-HA-HA-HA! AH-HA-HA-HA!"
"No, but I'm pretty good at chakra control," I say. "Just wait a bit."
I stand still for a minute or so, letting the chakra build in my fist. Then I punch the ground in front of Sasuke with chakra-augmented strength. The ground splits — not much, mind you, but enough that he should be able to wriggle out.
"HEH-HEH-HEH! Aha-ha-ha! HA-HA-HA!"
"There, can you get out now?"
"I … think so." He makes the action seem almost graceful, slithering up out of the crack in the ground. At this, Naruto finally manages to stop laughing.
"Aww, Sakura-chan!" he says breathlessly. "Why didn't you just leave him there? Then there'd be one bell for you and one for me, and idiot-Sasuke shipped back to school!"
"That wouldn't work," I say. "We need to work together all three of us."
"What?" Sasuke is brushing dirt off his clothes with supreme disdain. "I'm not working with that dunderhead." He jerks a scornful finger toward Naruto, as if there could be any doubt about who he meant. Then he turns his back on us and makes as if to leave.
"Then you'll lose," I say. "We'll all lose."
Sasuke stops. "What do you mean?"
"Tell me what happened here," I say, "and I'll explain."
Sasuke turns back round to face me, but he doesn't say anything.
"Fine," I snap. "I'll just infer it, shall I?" I point to a place nearby where the ground's been scorched in a circular pattern. "You used the fireball jutsu — yes, I know about it, people have seen you practice it down at the lake, okay? — but Kakashi-sensei —"
"What?" Naruto interjects. "That'd be real dangerous!"
"He said to come at him with the intent to kill," Sasuke points out coldly. "And anyway, he wasn't even scorched. I touched a bell, though. I'll get one next time."
He seems to be about to try to leave again, so I hurry to say:
"No, you won't. Don't you see? You showed skill way beyond normal graduate-level, as did Naruto earlier! That should have been enough to pass, if this was just a test of power. He should have let you both succeed in getting a bell. But he didn't, because it's not." And good thing too, or I would have been the one left in the dust.
"What are you getting at?" Sasuke asks. His expression hasn't changed, but I can tell I've caught his interest. He's too smart not to see it too, now that I've pointed it out, even if he'd been blind to it thus far — due to sheer single-minded focus on the task at hand, or possibly the one-track-mind of someone not used to consider possibilities once they've arrived at a model of the world that they're satisfied with.
"There's a different winning condition," I say. "This isn't a fight. We couldn't ever actually beat a jounin. Even if we worked in perfect concert together, we wouldn't be able to actually defeat him. It's a test! There's a specific condition we need to fulfil in order to pass. If we do, then he'll allow us to get the bells."
"Okay … I'm with you so far."
I look at Naruto. "Do you get it too?" I ask him.
He's frowning and not looking at all happy. "I still think I can take him if I try hard enough."
"You can't," I say. "That's a fact and you need to accept it. If you can't admit it when people are stronger than you, you'll never be able to surpass them. You need to know our limitations in order to work on exceeding them, right?"
"Okay, yeah, I get it," he says, somewhat reluctantly. "But what's this condition you keep talking about, then?"
"Unless you don't actually know?" Sasuke adds, in his usual scornful fashion.
"I think I do," I say, resisting the temptation to arrogantly proclaim that I know I've figured it out. "I mean, how do you defeat a foe that you know is stronger than yourself? What have we been taught?"
"Greater numbers," Sasuke answers, with the promptness of a star pupil. "Superior coordination."
"Exactly," I say. "Most ninja work in teams. And good teamwork can trump individual strength if applied correctly."
"But you said we couldn't defeat the jounin even working in concert."
"No, the strength gap is too wide," I say. "But it's still the right answer."
"I suppose it will give us more of an edge," Sasuke says, scornfully conceding the point.
"I'm not working with him, no matter what!" Naruto protests.
"But it's also possible to look at it another way," I say, a bit hurriedly. "Look, what's the most important thing when you're on a mission?"
"What do you —?" Sasuke asks, confused.
"To succeed," Naruto says.
"Yes, well, that's obvious, idiot."
"It's also the right answer," I say, fighting back a smile. "The mission is most important. It takes precedence over everything. Even the lives of the individual members of the squad. And in this case, the mission is to get those two bells. We need to set everything else aside in order to get them!"
"Oh, I see," Sasuke says.
"See what?" Naruto asks sourly.
I try to explain as saliently and simply as possible, for the benefit of the dunderhead:
"Kakashi-sensei wants to see if, when given a specific incentive not to work together, we can still overcome this handicap and work together anyway."
"Oh," he says, and I think he's got it.
"It does make a lot of sense," Sasuke admits, sounding his least scornful yet.
"So we need to lay down our battle plan with this in mind," I say. "And you two need to work together." I look from Sasuke to Naruto and back again. "Real shinobi put their personal preferences aside for the sake of the mission, right?"
"I suppose," Naruto admits grudgingly.
"Guess there's not much of a choice," Sasuke says.
"Good," I say feelingly. "Now then, let's — what was that?"
I break off at the sound of ringing in the distance. The sound reminds me of my own alarm clock at home … an alarm clock? Oh no!
I whirl around as the sound of soft footsteps announce Kakashi-sensei's arrival in the small clearing. He walks out from among the trees, book still held open in one hand. He's looking at it and not at us.
"Time's up," he says. "You lose."
"But — but — but it can't be!" I stammer pathetically. "It can't be noon yet! It was only ten when I last checked my watch! I — I …"
I can't have … lost?
"Sakura." A hand touches my shoulder and I jump, startled. Then, belatedly, I draw my kunai and whirl around to face the threat. But there's only Sasuke, hastily backing away with his hands in the air. I immediately turn back around again, kunai raised before me, but Kakashi-sensei is no longer there.
"Sakura, it was a genjutsu."
"What?!" I whirl yet again to face Sasuke, who've come to a standstill a couple of feet behind me.
"You got caught in a genjutsu," he says.
"You mean … that — it wasn't —? I haven't lost?"
"Check your watch, and then get Naruto out of it too." He jerks his thumb in the direction of Naruto, who's standing a couple of feet off to my right, staring vacantly into space. I fish out my pocket watch, fumbling rather, and look at it. Ten thirty. Still an hour and a half until noon. My rapid breathing calms down a little.
A genjutsu. Just a genjutsu.
And I didn't notice. How incredibly embarrassing!
I feel my cheeks and ears grow hot with the shame, and I'm very grateful that I have to go dispel Naruto's genjutsu, which allows me to turn my back on Sasuke for half a minute or so.
How could I not have noticed that I'd been put under a genjutsu? I'm supposed to be good at it, for crying out loud! I tended to do better than Sasuke at genjutsu — while he usually exceeded me in taijutsu and we were about equal in ninjutsu — so how come I needed him to dispel the illusion for me?
I walk over to Naruto, still blushing furiously, and put my hand on his shoulder, sending a blast of chakra into him and dispelling the genjutsu for him too. He comes out of it with a yell.
"What the —!"
"Just a genjutsu," I say, trying to force my own blush to subside.
"I — Kakashi-sensei was … um, what? An illusion?"
"It means he's close by," Sasuke says, "we should get out of here."
"Yes," I say, getting myself together. "Let's — let's go."
"HEY HEY-HEY! KAKASHI-SENSEI! COME AND GET ME ALREADY!"
The Naruto clone is standing in the middle of the plain by the river, yelling his head off.
"OR ARE YOU TOO MUCH OF A CHICKEN?! IS THAT IT?! AFRAID THAT I'LL STEAL YOUR BELLS?! WELL, I'M GONNA! SO COME AND ATTACK ME ALREADY, YOU COWARD!"
"Do you think he'll bite?" Sasuke asks, as the three of us crouch together under a bush in the forest, keeping an eye both on the yelling clone and our own rear, just in case Kakashi-sensei decides to attack us in our hiding spot instead of going for the clone.
"He should," I say. "He should want to attack us, because there's no way we'd be able to trace him. We don't have the sensory skills needed for that." Which is annoying — I've tried to do things to hone my skill at sensing other people's chakra or gaining a better sense of smell, but to no avail whatsoever. The core of the problem is that I don't even know where to start, because that isn't something they teach at the academy. "So he ought to appear where we can get at him," I conclude, "or it'd be no worthwhile test at all."
Sasuke nods, conceding my point. And I feel a little bit better about having needed his help earlier.
"He's coming!" Naruto half-whispers from my other side, and sure enough, there's Kakashi-sensei; strolling out of the forest, book in hand, just like he did in the genjutsu.
"So you finally decided to show!" the clone yells.
"Did you lose the others?" Kakashi-sensei asks, turning a page. His eye is on the book, not on his surroundings, yet I'm sure his apparent lack of attention is just that: apparent.
"I ditched them! I don't need those posers! Now prepare yourself!"
The clone runs at Kakashi-sensei, kunai in hand, and I raise my hand in the pre-appointed signal to spread out. Naruto and Sasuke both bolt from our hiding spot, in opposite directions, and I give them a couple of seconds to get into position before I start moving myself, going straight ahead. We're all running at Kakashi-sensei at the same time, making it obvious that we're working together. But it's probably not enough. We need to show that we really can cooperate, not just time our individual attacks.
Kakashi-sensei dispatches the clone with a well-placed punch to the head, which makes the kage bunshin go poof, and proceeds to make a couple of hand signs in too rapid succession for me to follow.
"Doton: Earth Decapitation jutsu!" He punches the ground, which splits open in a long, widening crack in front of him.
"Sakura-chan!" Naruto yells. "Look out!"
"I'm fine!" I yell, jumping away from the spreading crack. "Don't stop!"
I've been thrown off course a bit, and the boys are now in front of me, closing in fast on Kakashi-sensei.
"Katon: Fireball jutsu!" Sasuke is breathing fire all of a sudden, and Kakashi-sensei's attention turns to him. He's not reading now, or even pretending to. His book has vanished entirely; probably back into the pouch where he kept it originally. Kakashi-sensei manages to avoid Sasuke's fireball, but Naruto's on him by then, and the jounin has to dodge the random, furious attacks that Naruto begins to lash out with. Then Sasuke is there as well, and I think for a moment that they're going to manage to overpower him together, but Kakashi-sensei's hands shoot out with blinding speed, and before I know it, he has both boys caught: Each of them with a hand around their neck, dangling in the jounin's grip.
"Sa— Sakura-chan!" Naruto manages to gasp out.
This is my chance! Both of Kakashi-sensei's hands are occupied and I'm so close already! I bound forward and snatch a bell from where they're dangling at his hip. I keep my fist clenched around my prize as I retreat quickly, wary of attacks that might still be coming. At the same time, I see Sasuke and Naruto twisting out of the jounin's grip, both going for the second bell. Things get a bit confusing for a second or two, and then Sasuke is on the retreat, one fist clenched tightly around what must surely be the other bell.
"Give! Me! That!" Naruto snarls, looking all but ready to attack him for it.
Sasuke just looks at him scornfully, not even bothering to back away further.
"Give it to me, damn you!"
"No." Kakashi-sensei puts a forestalling hand out in front of Naruto. "Don't bother. You've already made it."
"I — what?"
"You've passed," the jounin says. "All of you." Shockingly, he smiles. It's surprisingly easy to tell, even with the mask on: His whole face seems to change with it.
Kakashi-sensei looks around at me, at Sasuke, at Naruto. "You've all passed," he says. "Congratulations."
"All of us?" I repeat, not understanding. "But …"
Then it hits me.
Oh. Oh, of course. If the test was meant to check if we could set aside our own personal goals in order to work together, then, having managed that, all of us — even the one who didn't get a bell — should qualify for a pass.
How did you not see that? It was the obvious corollary!
"Yes," Kakashi-sensei says, "all of you. You worked together to get the bells even when I gave you a strong reason not to. To be able to set aside selfish desires and work together for the good of the mission is paramount for a ninja squad. You are the first hopefuls I've had who've actually managed to do that in this situation. Very impressive indeed."
"YES! YES! YES!" Naruto yells, punching the air and probably not hearing much of Kakashi-sensei's speech. "I'm a ninja, ninja, ninja!"
Naruto is practically dancing around with glee, and even Sasuke is grinning — which is even more shocking than Kakashi-sensei doing it. I find myself smiling too; with relief, delight and a goodly chunk of pride in my accomplishment.
"Of course, there are still creases in your teamwork that needs to be straightened out." Kakashi-sensei looks very pointedly at Naruto as he says this. "But we'll get to that, at least you show definite potential, unlike the other idiots. Tomorrow, Team Seven will be starting its first real mission. All of you be sure to assemble promptly at five in the morning."
"YES!" Naruto yells again, still not listening. "I'm a NINJA! WOO-HOO! YEEEAAH!"
Aftermath
"Why did you ask just me to say behind, Sensei?"
I'm not sure if I should be exultant or worried; whether to expect praise or a scolding, as I stand before or instructor alone. Kakashi-sensei let Naruto and Sasuke leave, yet held me back. Why?
"I needed to have a bit of a chat with you," he says. He looks at me with more obvious scrutiny than he's shown up until now; the sharp attention is a bit uncomfortable. "This is a dangerous path you've started on, Sakura. I wanted to warn you of that."
Um, what?
"You used Sasuke and Naruto to fulfil the objective," he says. Not as a question, but a fact. "You manipulated them into working with you so that you would be able to secure a bell for yourself."
"I …" I don't get any further. I have no idea what to say. His tone implies that he thinks I did something wrong, but what exactly?
"When your allies were in danger, you ignored them and went for the prize."
"In danger? But they weren't in danger. You weren't going to really strangle them, after all, Sensei. I knew that."
"They weren't in real danger in this instance, no, but my point is that you prioritized fulfilling your own objective over the welfare of your teammates."
"I prioritized the mission, Sensei," I say, as humbly as I can manage. "That's what a ninja is supposed to do."
"Some people might say so." His voice sounds harsh all of a sudden. Dangerous. Brimming with half-bottled fury. "But don't you believe it. The rest of the world might treat ninja as mere tools; don't you do the same thing to your own comrades."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean that, while some might say that ninja who fails in their missions are trash, I think that those who abandons their comrades are worse than trash."
I don't get it. Where's he going with all this? Treating people like tools? What does it matter, as long as the mission gets done? But Kakashi-sensei seems to think that I should have put Naruto and Sasuke's welfare above the mission …? That clashes with everything I've ever been taught, and I don't know what to say to it.
So I just address a different point instead.
"Naruto and Sasuke would never have worked together if I hadn't made them," I say, making myself sound polite and calm rather than showing the hurt pride and boiling resentment I'm actually feeling. "I'm the only reason they passed, and yet you're only berating me?" With effort, I make this into a polite question rather than a shouted accusation.
"Yes, I know. The reason I'm letting you pass after all is that you actually got Naruto and Sasuke to work together. Don't think I'm not aware of their hostility to one another. What you did was very impressive, and I think Naruto and Sasuke needs you in order to function as a team. You'll balance them nicely. Naruto is very rash, and while Sasuke has the skills to be analytical, he often doesn't bother employing them. You, on the other hand, will always take the time think before you act if at all possible, and you never waste energy unnecessarily. You were the one who spent the least amount of strength today, yet also the first to get a bell. You're needed for this team. Yet your skills are also one of the reasons why I'm concerned about this attitude of yours. Don't treat your comrades as tools, Sakura, or you'll eventually lose sight of what's really worth fighting for in this world."
For some reason, I'm suddenly hideously close to breaking into tears. I try to fight it back.
Kakashi-sensei's voice sounds a little kinder when he says: "I hope you'll take this warning to heart, and not have to learn the hard way like I did."
"I — I — I'll try, Sir," is all I manage to say in response.
Author's note
Hello there. I just want to say a few words about the story. If you're one of those people (like me) who prefers their fiction unadulterated by other people's opinons on it, even the author's own, then feel free to skip this part.
I don't actually know if something like this has been done before. I've refrained from reading any of the Naruto rationality fics that I know exist just so they wouldn't influence my own vision, but as a result, I might have inadvertently done something that's already been done. If so, I'm sorry. But I really wanted to write this story, because one of my biggest grievances with Naruto has always been Sakura, and how she's been handled as a character. There have been many times I've thought to myself how she could easily have been very likeable if she wasn't continually shunted into the background and never given any real storyline of her own. And then, just recently, I thought; Hey, what if Sakura was a rationalist? (And, necessarily, ambitious about her ninja career) How would the story of Naruto develop then? I began thinking about it, and then I couldn't stop myself from writing this short intro to an AU where Rational!Sakura would be the leader of Team 7, with Naruto and Sasuke as co-Lancers at her side. I would have liked to have been able to continue this story until whatever end it would have reached, but unfortunately I really can't justify taking the time off from my original stories. But, if anyone else wants to take this idea and run with it — in altered form or not — then feel free.
