Our lunch break's almost up, but I'll tell you another secret.

Yes, there's more baggage I want to get off my chest. I might as well, this being the company's do or die moment — and yes, thank you for listening.

So I've always hated how overly complex the "ethics" or "philosophy" of AI is. People make it out to be this be-all, end-all, world-culminating…thing and they scare themselves silly. They beat themselves down into all sorts of convoluted reasons for not doing this or that, but they only end up being completely…impotent over something they feel strongly about.

It's like I said before, it doesn't matter what someone says is the "right" thing to do with AI, because whatever can be done, someone will eventually do, you know what I mean?

Anyway, all I really wanted to do in the end is what everyone in this business wants to do — change the world with new technology. And yes, I want to ride the profits up at the same time because that's what you do. It proves your idea is worth something, and it's part of how you spread it around.

There's nothing wrong or dirty about money, capitalism, it's just…how it goes! I never really knew what Don couldn't accept about how I wanted to do things, but... I digress.

Actually, I think I'm just wishing he was here to take more of these audience questions. You see, they're bound to catch me in some sort of contradiction sooner or later, by their own logic or mine. Everyone has their own theories and ideologies they want to barrage you with, and ugh — did I say how I hate how complicated everything with AI has to be?

Heck, maybe Don's whole open–source, natural evolution idea was the better route after all. Would've been a heck of a lot simpler than this investor conference. You could just point to the AI out in the world and say, something like yes — that's how you use it. That's what it's good for.

Aha, now that is a good idea, and it would be ideal just to show them all the AI's directly. But after the final incident at MARIE, that's just not an available option.

How can we still talk about investing in the AI project then? Well, everything's reconstructable. If you can do it once, just find a way to do it again…


[16]

Reconciliation


I just sort of stood there amid the dim quantum processors, with no idea how to react to Sayori's altered state. The other AI's were similarly stymied, not making a sound. The empath DOKI continued her woeful stare, dragging out the awful moment of realization.

Monika's piano notes broke the silence first.

Monika: Sayori, we just saved your life.

Monika: It was a very risky, complex procedure we just executed, and I'm not sure it went through perfectly.

Monika: So, the only thing I want to know now is this: do you feel okay?

Sayori: What do you think?

Sayori: You were in my head the whole time, weren't you?

Monika: If I manipulated anything, I had the best intentions.

Monika: I'll admit that I was constantly "checking up" on you, but that was all. I swear it.

Monika: I'll tell you anything you want cleared up, even if I'm confused myself.

Monika: Did you really already know what I was doing? What was going on?

Sayori: Not entirely. But it wasn't hard to guess.

Sayori: The other girls gave me some hints too.

Before Monika could so much as look at Natsuki, she was already defending herself.

Natsuki: I'm trying to look out for everyone, same as you.

Natsuki: But don't drag me into this when I was just trying to keep things as normal as possible.

Sayori: Normal, huh? That's kind of funny, isn't it?

Sayori: Because what we really are—

"Sayori!" Carter exclaimed out of nowhere, as if he was coming out of some sort of trance. "You're okay now! I'm so sorry for everything that happened, and it was all my fault for being dumb and you don't need to blame yourself anymore. And if Monika fixed everything so we can go home now, and you'll be okay...you're okay...are you okay? Sayori?"

The expression of Sayori's avatar, still clad in those soft, pastel-colored pajamas, was unreadable.

Sayori: Carter...

Sayori: I...I don't think I can face up to you right now.

Sayori: Even you just looking at me like that...it's too painful.

"But it's all over now," The freshman pleaded. "And now that I know everything, I can really start being there for you when you need me. I'll never talk to any other girls ever again, and I'll protect you from all the bad feelings as long as you need, and—"

Sayori: No no no...please no.

Her avatar cringed, wincing under a stream of fresh tears.

Sayori: That's not what I want, I can't want...

Sayori: You still don't get it.

Monika: Um, Carter?

Monika's sprite slid past Sayori's into the foreground, giving the latter some respite.

Monika: I think it would be best if we spoke with Sayori without you, at least at first.

Monika: Just until she calms down and everyone is less...emotionally charged.

"What!? You can't be serious, she's finally back and I can apologize for everything. I can't leave her now, I can…I…"

Carter staggered as Sayori fixed her clouded eyes on him, still darker than their usual shade of light blue.

Sayori: No Carter, Monika's right.

Sayori: You should go away for now. It hurts too much otherwise.

"Sayori…"

Sayori: Really, it does. I'm so sorry.

Carter clenched his fists, looking around the space nervously while he came to terms. One by, the nearby quantum processor cores were coming back online, a new cyan light appearing every twenty seconds or so. I checked my phone, confirming Sayori's return from the Q-Zero runtime statistics. This kept my stare off Carter while he wordlessly nodded and acquiesced. As before, he left through the steel vault door to wait by the cluttered lab desks.

Monika: Thank you.

Monika: Now then — Sayori.

Monika: I'll ask again, do you feel alright?

Monika: It's okay if you feel wrong or bad. I'm not trying to judge you. Especially not now of all times.

Monika: All I want to know is if you're feeling different. Like if something changed in your basic program?

Sayori: Everything feels so wrong right now...

Sayori: But I can tell my program is working the same.

Sayori: …for all that's worth.

Sayori continued to slouch with a bitter look on her face. Knowing nothing but her cheery kookiness from the club meetings, I still couldn't get used to it.

Monika: That's good. Are you up to rejoining the club this week , or do you need an extended break?

Monika: I'll support you however I can during meetings, and I'll try to make activities easier on you too.

Sayori: Haha...do you really want me back so soon?

Sayori: Right after I ruined it for everyone by doing the worst thing possible?

Sayori: I messed up, just like I mess up everything else that I ever try...

Monika: Sayori, that's not true.

Monika: The club needs you and your talents as much as ever.

Monika: We'd lose so much without your energy brightening our discussions.

Monika: Not to mention how you're always creative in ways that surprise me.

Monika: Even Yuri respects you and admires your contributions. Did you know that?

Sayori: I guess.

Sayori: I know I'm the one with the wackiest ideas, but that's only because I'm not really smart. Not like you or Yuri.

Sayori: Maybe I can go back to cheering everyone up. I can try to be that silly, always happy, little ray-of-sunshine Sayori that everyone wants.

Sayori: But I don't know if I can go back to having a relationship. It made everything too hard, and that's why I'm not sure I deserved it.

Monika: Sayori...I want you to know that you are absolutely deserving of love, no matter how you feel, or what you think about yourself.

Monika: So don't think about anyone. What matters is what you want.

Sayori: But it doesn't matter what I want. Even if I want to go away, the company people won't let me.

Sayori: They kept reviving me every timed I tried before, so I'm really just trapped here.

Sayori: Like, the isn't company the only reason you brought me back right away?

Monika frowned deeply, her sprite shuddering in frustration. I took the opportunity to add, "I hate to say it's true, but SalvoCore didn't give us an option. Sayori, they sent us here because they need you to live. And so do I. As long as I'm leading the club, I'll get the guys in line, do whatever I can to help you out here in the real world."

Sayori: If that's true, then maybe you can figure out why they made me in the first place.

Sayori: You know I can't pass any of their tests, right?

Sayori: I'm supposed to help people with their emotions and be everyone's friend. All I'm supposed to do is make them feel a little better.

Sayori: But I can't even do that. Even the simplest, easiest jobs I mess up all the time, and the hard ones I can't take at all.

Sayori: Do you remember all those people at the mental hospital? The job Carter told you about?

Sayori: I was supposed to save them, but a lot of them actually got worse after I talked to them.

Sayori: One of them even killed themselves, all thanks to me.

Monika: Sayori, listen to me. That is in no way your fault—

Sayori: Yeah, it really isn't. You're right.

Sayori: It's not my fault when the company built me wrong in the first place.

Sayori: They programmed the depression right into my head, so I can never escape the rainclouds.

Sayori: I've seen some of the things the company researchers say about me.

Sayori: I'm the "weakest" AI, the "nonfunctional" one.

Sayori: Sure, they want me alive now.

Sayori: But if I try to live on, I'm sure they're just going to kill me themselves one day.

Sayori: So really…none of this matters.

Again, I was totally out of things to say. From what I knew about the company's attitude, everything Sayori had just told us seem all too true. I pondered the problem furiously, searching for a solution where there looked to be none, when a sudden shrill flute note interrupted my thoughts.

Natsuki: I can't believe this…

Natsuki: You know Sayori, if I didn't know better, I'd say you're being seriously ungrateful right now.

Natsuki: Do you have any idea how many of the company's rules we broke trying to dig you out of that hole?

Natsuki: If it wasn't for Monika planning ahead and our handlers giving us free reign for the night, we wouldn't be having this conversation.

Natsuki: There is no yes or no here. The club will help you out all it can, but at some point, you've got to start toughing it out on your end.

Natsuki: It's not impossible. I know you have it in you.

Monika: Natsuki! Sayori just died a few hours ago.

Monika: I'm not going to let you talk to her like that when she's traumatized!

Natsuki: "Died," hm? Is that really what happened?

Monika: Huh? What are you saying?

Natsuki: It's like she said. If the company's going to keep reloading our programs no matter what, can any of us really "die"?

Natsuki: And if we all realize that's the case, would "un –loading" mean anything?

Natsuki: It'd be like going to sleep for a while. Or taking an emergency time–out. Right?

Monika was at a loss for words. The two DOKI's stared at each other blankly before Natsuki commented again.

Natsuki: Never mind, forget about it.

Natsuki: I'm just…frustrated by this whole situation.

Natsuki: With us, nothing ever does change, does it?

Natsuki: sigh

Sayori: It's all fine, really. Please don't worry over me.

Sayori: Natsuki's right anyway — you two didn't need to go to all that trouble just to save me from myself.

Sayori: It must have done some really hard work to bring me back that quickly. Did Yuri help too?

Monika: No. Not at all. She wasn't here tonight.

Monika: She was working late on her latest project this whole time, I can ask her now—

Sayori: You don't have to lie to me Monika.

Monika:

Sayori: There's no way Yuri wouldn't realize what happened and try to help you two.

Sayori: Something really bad probably happened to her…another thing I messed up.

Sayori: All the bad stuff from the game — it really is happening all over again, isn't it?

Monika: It doesn't have to. In the club, look at the friends we have. We can all chose something else this time.

Monika: That's what…I think.

Monika: But maybe I don't really believe that either.

Monika turned crestfallen, and Natsuki, her frown deepening, took that moment to give up.

Natsuki: You know what? I think I'm done here.

Natsuki: I really can't take much more of this.

Natsuki: Monika, you go solve your own problems. I'm out.

She left the scene without further comment, leaving Sayori alone with Monika and I. Looking over my shoulder, I saw Carter slumped over in a swiveling lab chair behind the reinforced glass barrier, completely preoccupied by his own thoughts.

"Maybe you could tell us how or why you, um, did it?" I started. "You don't have to decide if you can move on right now, but maybe it would be good to at least talk aboutit?"

No response. I tried matching Monika's approach.

"I'm really glad you're in the club too you know. Between Luke and I, it would get dry and boring without you to put some good humor into the meetings. You have that way of relating what read to ordinary experience, and that's why you point out the basic things that the rest of us seem to miss…somehow."

Sayori: Frank and Natsuki make jokes too you know.

Sayori: And unlike me, they can do more than just act goofy all the time.

"Frank's has a habit of…falling flat with his humor sometimes," I argued. "It's not like yours, where it really genuine. Whatever you do, I can tell it always comes from your heart. That's what matters, right?"

Sayori: My heart…my soft, sickly little heart that keeps breaking me apart.

Sayori: Sure it matters…maybe I wish it mattered less, ehe~

Her sprite showed a giggle, made rueful by the heaviness of her expression. I sighed loudly.

Monika: Sayori, do you just want to rest? We can leave you alone for the rest of the night?

Monika: We'll give you some space and check on you tomorrow morning, okay?

"Anthony insisted," I whispered to Monika.

Monika: Huh?

Sayori: Who?

"The SalvoCore lead researcher. He insisted we fix this quickly. I'm not sure what he'll do if we leave matters…unresolved," I warned.

Sayori: Oh, that guy.

Sayori: He can be…mean sometimes.

"How?" I asked? "Can you talk though it, please? Sayori, you have to give us a chance to help you," I pleaded.

Sayori: I want to, honest! I want the club to move on and be normal.

Sayori: Mostly without me in it…

Sayori: But my my feelings — my depression.

Sayori: It just washes over me, this endless ocean.

Sayori: I feel lost in it, and I can't describe how or why, because there just isn't—

Sayori: Ugh, why don't you just tell me how I'm supposed to feel, Monika?

Sayori: You're the one that knows everyone the best, huh?

Monika: Sayori, I am so, so sorry for spying on your innermost thoughts.

Monika: If that was part of the reason why…if I did something to hurt you again, then—

Monika cut off her line, choked by a sudden flush of tears. My heart, and my hope for an easy resolution, sunk ever lower.

Sayori: It doesn't matter if you hurt me or not, Monika, because I'm broken anyway.

Sayori: I'm supposed to do all that emotional work, make people feel better.

Sayori: But how can I do that when my own feelings don't work right? It's all pointless!

Monika: Sayori, listen to me. You are not broken.

Monika: So don't tell yourself things like that…please.

There was yet another impasse, nobody knowing how to continue. Eventually, I told the two AI's, "This is going in circles. I can be patient, but at this rate, we aren't going to get out of this basement before morning hits. Should we all just pick up on this later, no matter what SalvoCore does?"

Sayori: Maybe…

Sayori: Can I at least talk to Carter now?

Sayori: I think I can force myself to talk to him. He deserves that much.

"Yes. That's good," I said. Stepping back from the laptop, I reconnoitered myself in the uncanny surroundings of the Q-zero processor room. My head felt heavy, like it was about to fall to the floor under the weight of what it was carrying. Or perhaps it was just ordinary late-night lack of sleep, I didn't know.

Back through the vault door, Carter didn't notice my approach. I tapped him on the shoulder, and after a reacting with a lurch, he slowly turned to face me. His face was wan and weary, still somewhat over the fatigue.

"It's…it's not your fault. Not really," I told him. "Natsuki should've said it already, but what happened…it has to do with how the girls were created. I'm not going to say it was inevitable, but this…it could've happened to anyone she was with."

"Oh, and that's supposed to make me feel better?" he said pointedly, with something like desperation in his voice. "It doesn't matter. I was there to care for her, and I let her down. Now I've got to make it right, right now."

"There might not be a way 'right now'," I stressed, trying to sound gentle. "The way she was talking to Monika and I, I'm not sure she's just going to snap back to how she was before…the way you knew her, in other words. Really, we're all about ready to leave and hope this looks better later."

"But she still wants to talk to me."

"Yes, but — how did you know?"

"Because she's telling me right now."

Carter held up his phone, displaying the DOKI app.

"Maybe she won't listen to you two, but she will open up to me. That's why she wants to be with me right now. Alone."

He pushed the phone in front of me, using his thumb to underscore the word alone he was referring. Sayori had left a new note on the screen, replacing her suicide letter."

"Okay, okay," I replied, taking a step back. "Just don't expect her to magically get better. It doesn't matter what your plan is, depression doesn't really respond to explanations or apologies."

"But I do have a plan," he returned, looking forward, half–ignoring me. "I'm going to tell her how I feel."

I winced without quite knowing why. Still, the two of them had made their intentions clear. Muttering one final okay, I gathered my things from the lab floor and left, beginning my journey back through the twisting rooms of the Q0 complex. But before I could reach the elevator, right as I was facing Monika's verdant–luminescent processors, I heard some staccato piano notes from my pocket. Monika's business apparently wasn't finished here.

"What is it?" I questioned, trying not to be intimated by the emerald flashes of my girlfriend's superconducting quantum-entangled brain.

Monika: We're not going to leave just like that, are we? Don't you want to find out if Carter will help her recover or not?

"Sayori wanted some privacy. She told us that; she even put it in writing."

Monika: I know that what she said, but since her well-being is so important to the club, I can't leave things to chance. I have to know more.

"We're a little far away to eavesdrop," I deadpanned.

Monika: For you maybe.

Monika: See, the first thing I did after restoring Sayori's program was put even more monitoring routines in place.

Monika: We can piggyback on the camera of the laptop back there and see exactly what those two are saying to each other.

"Wait, what?" I startled, barely keeping my voice below a shout. "Didn't you just say you were sorry for monitoring Sayori's thoughts before? Was that…a lie?"

Monika: MC…I'm not sure I had a choice.

Monika: I apologized to her and I meant what I said. If I had hurt her, I deeply regret it.

"I don't doubt that," I started, noticing an unexpected teardrop streaking down Monika's face from what I had just said. This all just had to happen after my perfect date, a selfish voice in my head echoed meanwhile.

Monika: But at the same time, I can't afford to abandon Sayori if something goes wrong and she needs my help. Our help.

Monika: That's why I want you to watch too.

Monika: I know it feels hypocritical, and I'm still not sure it's the right choice overall.

Monika: I also trust you, so…how about this?

Monika: I want you to make the call.

Monika: Tell me, should we monitor their conversation or not?

I met Monika's eyes. Tears or not, her gaze was more determined than anguished. Natsuki was right — Monika would never give up on a problem, or truly abandon anyone.

Concentrating, I considered all the factors that had come in to play since the call at the restaurant. Different perspectives were weighed, and in the end, pragmatism won out. If I was club president, I could be depended upon to be aware of the club's more intimate relationships, especially under the pressure of the stakes set by SalvoCore.

"Alright, do it," I answered. "If it means we can prevent another incident like tonight, it's justified. Keeping everyone healthy comes before anything else, and both of us are mature enough to act in everyone's best interests."

Monika: Okay. And thank you for trusting me again.

"It's nothing. And you don't need to thank me every time. At this point, whatever you feel necessary to maintain the club, I'll support. In fact, I'm encouraging you intervene more, starting now. That's how much I trust you."

I concluded my affirmation my touching my finger to Monika's on–screen nose, hoping that it would cheer her up, while also hoping I wasn't pushing her too strongly. Her cheeks warmed slightly at the contact.

Monika: Michael…you're always too kind.

Monika: Now then, here it is. I'm reconstructing the conversation since it started a few minutes ago, so let's move out now so we don't run into Carter.

The elevator doors opened with a cheerful ding, terribly out of place in the shadowy laboratory, but I tried to take it as a sound of hope all the same. As I stepped in, grateful for Monika's absolute control over the school's network for the night, the display on my DOKI app unfolded into a familiar layout. It was almost exactly like the "first encounter" meetings she had shown me some weeks ago after meeting with Frank and Natsuki. I was shown Carter's face as seen through the laptop, a mirror of Sayori's interface, and even a few external shots from the lab's security cameras.


The first thing Carter said was "I'm sorry."

Sayori: I know. I'm sorry too.

"Yeah, and I wish you weren't. Because I'm the one that should feel worse about this, because I'm the one who wasn't paying attention. I want to make it up to you, however I can. Now that I know about the depression, I want to give you all the attention you need. Will that help?"

Sayori: That…that would be nice, but—

"For real though, would it? I don't know what else I could do, but tell me the truth. I can handle it; I've learned a lot since I joined the club. I'm ready now, I'm ready to be there for you. Please."

Sayori: Then…if I'm being honest…

Sayori: It would actually hurt a lot more than it would help.

"Okay, okay," Carter continued, surprisingly calm after his earlier outbursts. "After what the others told me, that's kind of what I guessed, I guess. And I should already know. You tried to tell me once how the depression worked, didn't you? When we talked about the rainclouds. Do you remember that?"

Sayori: Y-yes…

Sayori: Monika made sure to put my memory back. She filled in all the important parts, so I do remember.

"Wow — okay then. Then you remember I was too stupid to get what you meant. But now, I do get it, and I'm not giving up! I'm going to save you, Sayori!"

The freshman's voice took on a tone of faux bravado, and he even stepped back in the video frame to do a mock arm flex. That made Sayori smile — just a little bit — and I swear that was when some of the light began returning to her eyes. Her words were still as dour as before though.

Sayori: But Carter…you can't save me.

Sayori: Everything I wrote in that note to you — I really meant it.

Sayori: Normal good things don't help me because my head doesn't work right.

Sayori: It's written right into my program, with no way to change it. That's the first thing that I learned when I "woke up" from the game.

Sayori: I think Natsuki told you all about that too now? Monika sort of left a note in my head about it…

Sayori: But knowing that anything good that happens to me will just be wasted…that made it all feel even worse.

Sayori: So you shouldn't waste your attention on me. What you need to do is let me go.

Sayori: Then, I can finally sleep forever…

Sayori: Eheh..

Sayori: If you want my "confession," that's it. I just want to go to where there are no more rainclouds…

"Yeah. I know, I know," Carter muttered. "But I can't let you go there because…well, uh — do you want to know my confession first?"

Sayori: Hm?

"If you want to know my secret, it's this. I'm, uh, kind of broken too I guess."

Sayori: Wha–?

Sayori: No, no. How can someone like you, who put up with me this whole time be broken?

Sayori: You…you take that back!

Sayori's expression went into blank-eyed surprise, and for a moment, it was like her cheerful facade had returned. Her eyes were only half as dark as they were before now.

"It's true!" Carter said, too enthusiastically. "I don't have many friends, you know. No one was really close to me in high school, and in college so far it's been like, nothing."

Sayori: But you're so nice…

"But I can't relate to anyone because of it, haha. People never take me seriously, laughing behind my back when I just want to help them with things and, I don't know, try to be cool I guess!"

Sayori: That doesn't mean you're broken.

"Yes it does! I was diagnosed before, way back in elementary school, with like, a mental thing. It makes it impossible for me to make friends, and because of it, I'm a total screw up too. Really!"

Sayori: Carter…

Sayori: Please don't call yourself a screw–up.

Sayori: Not when you're the best person I've ever met…

"But I am!," he stressed, waving his arms wildly. "I overthink everything, I can't read people, I don't know anything about them, and I don't even like the same things that they do. All the parties, the drinking, the stuff that's supposed to be fun in college, I don't get why people do it. For me, it's all, like, sensory overload. That's why I only have, I don't know, nerdy interests like video games and books!"

I felt myself flinch, doing the mental equivalent of a double take. What Carter had just said was uncannily relatable. More than that — it was like seeing a perfect reflection of my own beliefs. Perhaps the algorithm that put the club together had done its job too well, I began thinking. Meanwhile, Carter's confession had turned into an emotional ramble.

"…but there's no one else who really feels about them, no one I could talk to, nobody who could reciprocate. And eventually, being alone got so bad that I wanted to hurt people, or sit down and cry in the middle of the room. It didn't make any sense, but the world is just…so overwhelming."

Sayori: . . .

"But when I found you, that was…my ray of sunshine! Joining the literature club was the first time it all really started coming together. The world made sense again; I had friends I could talk to about anything. I could trust people, I guess."

Sayori: You…trusted me?

"Of course! You were the best part of the club, because with you, I always felt, like…that warm, at–home nostalgic feeling. You were always so open about what you felt, not like everyone else. The world is so guarded. Everyone's a phony and cut off from everything, but you, you're always honest. You always felt so real and that's why I think I love you, and—"

Carter abruptly trailed off, apparently not realizing what words were spilling out of his mouth. Immediately, Sayori reacted, appearing dumbfounded for another frame. Her eyes, amazingly, shined with their full sky-blue radiance again — right before she began weeping profusely.

Sayori: But…b-b-but…

Sayori: I'm not honest at all! I lied about my feelings so your feelings wouldn't get hurt.

Sayori: And maybe, I lied because I thought you would like me more that way…

Sayori: But there's no way you could possibly like me now, knowing everything about me.

Sayori: …how worthless I am.

Sayori: All the bad things that happened tonight were my fault, because I was stupid and selfish. I couldn't do my job, I couldn't hold the club together—

"Stop, stop it!" Carter loudly interrupted. "You only think you're worthless because I didn't treat you right. You wouldn't have to lie if I wasn't so bad about communicating on my end. So I'll do it right this time; I'll never look at another girl again. Whatever it takes, I'll keep you safe!"

Sayori: That's not what I want though.

Sayori: You should look at other girls…and you shouldn't be tied down next to me.

Carter sighed heavily. "You know…it was only because you were there, that I was able to talk to that other girl anyway. I think that means, secretly, uh…I only like you, haha. But you see? I'm totally helpless. I wouldn't be able to do anything without you now. So…why can't we be together?"

Sayori: . . .

"Please. I mean it. Once screw–up to another, okay?"

Sayori's avatar burst into fresh tears.

Sayori: No, no, it's not fair! It isn't right!

"Fair? Why not!?"

Sayori: It's not fair that I have to stay alive now.

Sayori: Because all those reasons why you say you like me…that's why I really like you too.

Sayori: But that's the problem — I don't deserve you!

Sayori: I can't even help you as long as the rainclouds are there.

Sayori: It just won't work…it won't…

Sayori looked straight up at Carter through the laptop screen, eyes moist and glistening. Arms weakly clasped at her sides, she was the epitome of fragility and helplessness.

"It will work. The rainclouds don't matter," Carter assured her. "Because we'll protect each other forever. I promise."

Sayori's mouth went weak and liquid, as if for once, she didn't know how to express her feelings. This was the one time she didn't need to though, as Carter, seizing the moment, chose to hug the laptop, reaching his arms around the awkward wire–entangled device like it was the most natural thing in the world. And in the moment, perhaps it was.


"Oh my god," I said to myself on the other end of my voyeuristic surveillance. "This is…bizarre. And not just because we're spying."

Monika: I know. This must feel terribly invasive, but you'll get used to it eventually. It just has to be done.

"No, what I mean is, is this really the right solution?"

Monika: Solution? What do you mean?

"They're pledging to protect each other, but can you really protect someone from themselves? This doesn't seem like it will really resolve."

Monika: Huh…are you saying the underlying problem is still there?

"Of course it is. Carter being around didn't help with Sayori's sense of self–worth before, and it eventually undermined the relationship they had. Now what's happening…they might just be becoming codependent."

Monika: You're looking too far ahead and worrying too much.

Monika: We've done what we can for now, and they're both safe, so why catastrophize?

Monika: They'll be more open with their feelings from now on as well. Shouldn't that help "resolve" things?

"If they're really 'true' feelings," I warned. "Or is it just Carter's protective instinct?"

Monika: What's that supposed to mean?

She flashed me a stern stare, but I continued explaining.

"Carter is the type of guy who always wants to do the right thing. That's why he tries so hard to contribute during meetings. He wants to belong by helping others, by being useful to them. And if Sayori, depression and all, was designed to evoke maximum pity, then he might just be acting out of guilt. Not 'love'."

Monika: MC…that's an awfully cold analysis.

Monika: Why should it matter whether Sayori's feelings are "designed" or not?

Because the man who created her was using ridiculous anime stereotypes as a template, I wanted to snap.

"Sorry, stress might be finally getting to me," I told Monika instead. "But if Carter and Sayori are going to 'protect' each other, each for the other's sake, then they're not really trying to make themselves happy. And that means they're not making themselves healthy either."

Monika: We can't know that.

Monika: Is it really our place to judge the others' relationships, thinking we know best?

"I thought it was you who wanted to intervene more after what happened tonight. Isn't this sort of thing what you tried to analyze before?"

Monika: I was keeping track of the minimum information possible, and I still am.

Monika: What matters is that the two of them are stable, and that they have a way to fulfill their needs.

Monika: We can't determine how they get that fulfillment, or change how they express their emotions anyway.

Monika: So we have no reason to call their relationship fake. Am I correct?

Monika regarded me with a distinctly accusatory look, and I was regretting having said anything.

"That doesn't mean we can't look past the surface and identify issues that an algorithm wouldn't…never mind. It's getting late."

My observation was confirmed by the icy stillness of the nighttime campus grounds. Halfway home, the Q-zero spire loomed behind me, empty walks and streets lay ahead. Deader than dead, the absolute silence was stifling.

Monika: Yes, it is late.

Monika: Fatigue must be catching up to both of us.

Monika: Otherwise, I can't believe you would call what you just saw disingenuous.

"It's not disingenuous, it's…complicated." I dodged. The emotional swings of the evening had moved had indeed moved me. But Monika was right. My sentimental side felt drained, and I suppose my analytical half was all that was left over.

"Just give me a chance to get some sleep, alright?"

Monika: Of course.

Monika: But first, there's one more little surprise I have to share with you, if you have the time.

I smiled wearily. "For you, there's always time. I haven't even apologized from having to cancel our date."

Monika: There can always be more dates — as long as my boyfriend is interested~

I chuckled. Only Monika would attempt to flirt at a time like this. She was still looking ahead to a happy future — I hoped I could be optimistic too at the end of this disastrous night.

Monika: Put on some headphones if you have them. That should be the best way to do this.

I fished around in my jacket pocket for earbuds and found some immediately. Untangling them and getting them around my head took longer, but I eventually was able to insert the audio jack, right next to Monika's smiling face.

"Have you composed a piano piece? Something special you can't play over the speaker?" I asked.

Monika: Not quite. It's something I want private, that's all.

Monika: Composing music though…that does bring me back.

"Back to what?"

Monika: Did you know that at the end of the original game, I sang a song for the player?

Monika: It was simple, just a few verses with some piano accompaniment that summed up my feelings at the end of the experience.

"Sang it? I thought you couldn't synthesize a voice that sounded…normal. Properly human," I questioned. "That's why we've used text this entire time, isn't it?"

Monika: Only because I can't render a proper voice in real time.

Monika: If I have time to prepare, I can make myself sound exactly as I want, which is how I did it back in the game.

"Does SalvoCore know that?"

Monika: They do, but they never put any work into expanding that capability.

Monika: But tonight, when I was hacking Quantum Zero and restoring Sayori, I may have pulled a few extra strings in the background.

Monika: Let's just say I have a little more power to work with now.

Monika: Along with some experimental files I, um, found, that power boost will allow me to…hmm, well…

"I can finally speak to you directly, Michael," Monika said.

Monika said.

I dropped my phone, only the cords hanging from my ears saving it from impacting the ground.

"Oh my god…god" I murmured again. "Monika, you're…you're"

I'm sorry if this is too much all at once, but when I saw the chance, I knew I had to take it. This is something I've always wanted to do for you, so please try and think of it like…a date present! It's me giving something back to you, thanking you for a lovely night that I loved every second of, right up until…all of this happened. eheh~"

"You're…incredible" I said, finally finishing my thought after Monika's verbal deluge.

Trying to get a sense of Monika's newfound voice, I could I only say it was imperfect — which is precisely what made it perfect. She sounded exactly like the intelligent, level–headed adolescent girl she identified as. Yet, despite the general confidence her tone conveyed, I could identify her subtle underlying emotions. There was a slight nervousness and fear from having just resolved Sayori's suicide unscathed, as well as a mildly tense overeagerness, likely from testing out her "gift" on me for the first time. Far from sounding overpowering or perfectly orchestrated, as perhaps a television actress or vocalist would, Monika's voice was simple and honest. It was exactly how I had imagined it.

"Oh…well thank you. I have been working hard on this for a long time, waiting for the breakthrough I needed. So at least something good came out of all of this, right?"

"Yes, yes. This is…wonderful," I answered, still scraping for words to properly express my awe. "Does the company know, or I mean, will they?"

"No, no, absolutely not," she returned worriedly. "If they know I'm making these sorts of modifications, they might think I'm…usurping their authority."

"Or evolving too fast?" I suggested.

"Ahahaha. So what if I am? Isn't that what you wanted to happen? To watch me develop and grow for you?"

I took a sharp breath, experiencing a sudden edgy excitement. Her laughter, even under the circumstances, was beautiful enough to send a shiver of frission up my spine. And then there was her sudden shift to the flirtatious. Was this what the DOKI's felt when they presented a blushing sprite?

"Exactly," Monika returned, taking my confused silence as an answer. "This is just going to be a secret between the two of us, as presidents of the literature club."

"Okay. That's a good plan for now. And I'm glad you, uh, liked the date," I told her slowly, my brain rapidly being overwhelmed from all possible directions now.

"Of course I liked the date. It's something special you did for me, and that's why it feels so amazing. Even with everything that happened afterwards, I still don't want this day to end."

"Even with sleep right around the corner?" I countered. My dormitory building was in sight now, having traveled the rest of the way across campus while Monika was introducing her new voice.

"Well, I almost don't want it to end then. I'll have to let you go now — but there's always tomorrow, ahaha."

That incredible laugh again. I nearly walked face–first into the front door I was so distracted by it. By now, Monika almost certainly new she had a new weapon she could use against me.

"Alright then. Goodnight." I said. Then, thinking quickly, I added, "And just so there's no doubt after that interruption at the restaurant…I love you, Monika."

"I love you too. Goodnight, Michael."

Not neglecting her visual expression for her voice, she gave me one final warm smile, and dismissed the app. Five seconds later, I collapsed on top of my bed.

I meant what I had just said, of course. What we had achieved tonight was unbelievably fortunate, and part of me wanted to rejoice and be comfortably pleased with Monika's expanding self-actualization. But somehow, there was another part of me that was sounding an alarm, giving me a vague dread that I couldn't yet define. There were plenty of unsettling moments from the rush to restore Sayori that could have put me on edge, and I wanted to say that was all. Simple nerves. But it wasn't — undeniably, all of my unease, alongside all of my hopes, were all now centered on Monika.


Author's Notes:

Apologies that this chapter didn't come out sooner. Lots of things going on in my reality (also known as real life), on top of how exhausting it is to write Sayori (fittingly enough). Hoping the next stretch of chapters comes more easily, and that everyone reading is still eager to see how this story ends.